Two months ago, I moved into a new apartment. It's a regular apartment with the same basic layout as any other apartment complex. In order to get from my apartment to the parking lot you have to go down a hallway and descend a flight of steps. Because we all share a hallway, I have come to know a few of our neighbors quite well. Right from the start I knew I had some..."interesting" people around us.
- The guy across the hall enjoys watching war movies with his surround sound speakers turned all the way up. That's fine by me, but sometimes I'm convinced we're being attacked by Germans...or Vietnamese...or Russians...occasionally aliens. The entire situation is actually making me quite paranoid. It's not fun slowly walking through my kitchen praying that "Charlie" doesn't jump out from behind the fridge.
- The man above me hammers all day long and always in intervals of three:
BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ...
Is that stuck in your head yet? Welcome to my world. Either he has a ridiculous amount of pictures he needs to hang or he has a bug problem I can't even fathom.
- The couple next door do not seem to have any odd or annoying habits; however, because of them that I fear for my life. Why? It's simple really: their three-year-old daughter wants to kill me.
About a month ago, I was leaving for the grocery. As I entered the hallway, I noticed the little devil-child was playing on her tricycle. As I walked past, she stopped. When I approached the steps, she looked at me and grinned. This seemingly benign gesture told me all I needed to know and more, she is plotting my demise. Allow me to explain.
Are you familiar with The Omen? It's a movie about a family who adopts a child (Damien). Unbeknownst to them, they've adopted the Anti-Christ...hilarity ensues. In the movie, there is a scene where Damien rides his tricycle down the hall and crashes into his mother sending her tumbling over the railing.
Since that day, I have basically locked myself in my apartment, yet I have a feeling that is not enough. Occasionally it sounds like someone hits my door. Once, curiosity got the best of me. After hearing the familiar BUMP, I looked through the peephole only to see her standing about a foot away, staring at my door. My roommate says it's nothing, she might have just bumped against it and gotten confused. No, I know better. She is testing the door for weakness.
It's gotten worse lately. As I type this, I hear laughter coming from the hallway. One might say it's the innocent laughter of a child at play. No my friends, this is the malevolent cackle of pure evil. She knows I'm in here, she's merely playing with my emotions.
If I fail to post again, she got me. If you have any conscience at all you'll call the proper authorities.
- The guy across the hall enjoys watching war movies with his surround sound speakers turned all the way up. That's fine by me, but sometimes I'm convinced we're being attacked by Germans...or Vietnamese...or Russians...occasionally aliens. The entire situation is actually making me quite paranoid. It's not fun slowly walking through my kitchen praying that "Charlie" doesn't jump out from behind the fridge.
- The man above me hammers all day long and always in intervals of three:
BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ....BAM BAM BAM ...
Is that stuck in your head yet? Welcome to my world. Either he has a ridiculous amount of pictures he needs to hang or he has a bug problem I can't even fathom.
- The couple next door do not seem to have any odd or annoying habits; however, because of them that I fear for my life. Why? It's simple really: their three-year-old daughter wants to kill me.
About a month ago, I was leaving for the grocery. As I entered the hallway, I noticed the little devil-child was playing on her tricycle. As I walked past, she stopped. When I approached the steps, she looked at me and grinned. This seemingly benign gesture told me all I needed to know and more, she is plotting my demise. Allow me to explain.
Are you familiar with The Omen? It's a movie about a family who adopts a child (Damien). Unbeknownst to them, they've adopted the Anti-Christ...hilarity ensues. In the movie, there is a scene where Damien rides his tricycle down the hall and crashes into his mother sending her tumbling over the railing.
Since that day, I have basically locked myself in my apartment, yet I have a feeling that is not enough. Occasionally it sounds like someone hits my door. Once, curiosity got the best of me. After hearing the familiar BUMP, I looked through the peephole only to see her standing about a foot away, staring at my door. My roommate says it's nothing, she might have just bumped against it and gotten confused. No, I know better. She is testing the door for weakness.
It's gotten worse lately. As I type this, I hear laughter coming from the hallway. One might say it's the innocent laughter of a child at play. No my friends, this is the malevolent cackle of pure evil. She knows I'm in here, she's merely playing with my emotions.
If I fail to post again, she got me. If you have any conscience at all you'll call the proper authorities.
