New report and possible regulation/bans from the FDA!

[mgmixology]

Mrs. Hamburg If you see this I would like to take note on the current capsule of life you should be devloping. 100% clean air, 100% nutrition provided to the body, and 100% zero chance of death, I mean if your gonna do something do it right, not half assed.
This morning I awoke from a bed that did not have a warning label that I could potentially fall out of unconsciously during rem sleep. For I could have broken my neck and died, i'm pursuing the the fact all beds should be banned of sale. Not to mention no more stairs in society, or elevators in those big buildings you work in ( All machines fail at some point right ). Also I'm looking into the ban of snow and ice. I'm tired of the natural hazardous conditions I'm held against my will with. Alaska is to be shut down in its entirety. No more beaches either, nothing is stopping me from holding my head under water. I propose a device connected to the neck that is 100% buoyant to stop this action.

*Also as such a big public figure I propose a name change, your last name is just 2 letters short of hamburger. Those 2 letters are ER ... and thats exactly where you'll be headed eating hamburgers

 

[aikanae1]

That reminds me of this;

 

[RosaJ]

I think Ms Hamburg should lead by example and hold her breath so she doesn't contaminate the childreeen and the rest of us.

BTW, I love this thread. I must be careful not to show how much fun it is to read all your postings as that will call attention to myself. I must remember to go through life as if I can't wait to die in order to go to nanny heaven.

 

[RosaJ]

WARNING! Dying is detrimental to your health!!!

 

[Lombaowski]

Found a picture of her:

 

[mkbilbo]

In support of the life ban, a number of large pharmaceutical companies have donated resources and staff time to encapsulate air, the breathing of which can encourage life. For those with permission to engage in living, portable air devices will be available at most gas stations and convenience stores.

Internet sales will be banned as they make it too easy for children to acquire these devices, which studies show are a stepping stone to long term air dependency.

Basically a good idea but gas stations and convenience stores? That makes air far, far too easily available. Air should be kept securely behind the pharmacy counter like Sudafed and other medications containing pseudo-ephedrine. You should have to pick it up in person and present a valid state issued ID and the amount of air you buy will be tracked.

Especially given I understand this "air" contains some seriously volatile and potentially deadly chemical elements. At least one of which is known to explode violently with little provocation as seen here:



Do you really want to risk exposing children to this... "hydrogen"?

 

[bcalvanese]

And lets not forget about third hand living.

Our living aura can get on walls, drapes, carpet, and in the air. Contaminating our childrens living aura's.

Thats it... it's 45 to the head time...

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

WARNING! Dying is detrimental to your health!!!

It really is and it's up to us to spread awareness of this insidious, little thought-about fact.

 

[bosun]

I just got over the prevalence of dihydrous monoxide and now I have this to worry about?

 

[Pstarsr]

Found a picture of her:

View attachment 250146

Amazing! Glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking ham burglar everytime I read her name

 

[Coastal Cowboy]

Found a picture of her:

View attachment 250146

A ginger. Should have known.

They have no souls, you know.