Story time warning skip if you don't care for my chicanery.
Are they gone? Cool let me tell you how dumb I was today.
The wife and I are eating dinner at Panara and she looks up at me having apparently just read something exciting on her phone to which she has a quip lined up:
Her: Did you know that my uterus has doubled in size?! I'm like a freaking Transformer!!!
(I immediately started laughing but it became clear to her almost instantly that I was not laughing at her joke)
Her: okay it wasn't that funny-wait!...what did your stupid brain say?
(At this point we all recognize this as a trap. You know it's a trap. I know it's a trap. Hell my 4 year old being there probably would have recognized this as a trap. This isn't just a woman right now either but a PREGNANT woman. DANGER!-DANGER!... Let's continue.)
Her: I'm not even that big yet. Let me guess something about me being the semi! You're not funny that's not even original. You're just sitting there all-
Me (unable to stifle it any further): Calm down Optimus PastHerPrime no one is calling you fat.
...do you know how hard it is to hug someone that's trying to kill you?
Now back to your regularly scheduled
thread.