the first time I log into ECF at my boyfriends house.....and THIS is the post he sees, lol. He now has a skewed image of the entire forum~!
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No, he's got the right image. Tell him we're sorry and ask nicely if he will let you come back sometime. We'll miss you.
I heard this from the bushes...I mean from outside...and I think Mr. L.O.X has gotten himself confused with a certain L.E.Z. The man is obviously out of his m.i.n.d. Have a nice day.
Your honor I concede to Bianca's vast knowledge of boxes and asked she be called to testify as a box expert. Her knowledge of boxes is legendary.
That is if she will stop beating about the bush.
Your Honor, please permit me to introduce myself to this Honorable Court. My name is beebopnjazz and in some circles I am also known as Boots. I am the prosecuting attorney for the PIF community and in reading the transcripts from these proceedings I am ready, willing and able to prosecute, to the furthest extent of the law, all those who commit atrocities on their pv equipment.
It would appear from the current transcripts that the case before this Court is PIF v. lynnleestar for abusing her box.
It also appears that the psyche evaluation is to be performed by LOX while wearing a squirrel print nightie and high-heeled boots. Is this correct?
LOX has conceded that Ms. BiancaMontgomery be the expert witness in this box abuse case as it appears from the transcripts that Bianca is a box expert and can actually declare whether a box is "evil" or not. Let me remind this Honorable Court that we will maintain a separation of church and state and that there will be no discussions of whether Ms. Lynnleestar's box is or is not possessed by any demonic force not of this world.
Let me bring to the Court's attention that it appears that there are "bushwhackers" present in this Court room. Let me remind your Honor that the proper decorum should be used by the parties at the bar in the ....uh....handling of Ms. lynnleestar's box.
It would appear from the current transcripts that the case before this Court is PIF v. lynnleestar for abusing her box.
It also appears that the psyche evaluation is to be performed by LOX while wearing a squirrel print nightie and high-heeled boots. Is this correct?
LOX has conceded that Ms. BiancaMontgomery be the expert witness in this box abuse case as it appears from the transcripts that Bianca is a box expert and can actually declare whether a box is "evil" or not. Let me remind this Honorable Court that we will maintain a separation of church and state and that there will be no discussions of whether Ms. Lynnleestar's box is or is not possessed by any demonic force not of this world.
Let me bring to the Court's attention that it appears that there are "bushwhackers" present in this Court room. Let me remind your Honor that the proper decorum should be used by the parties at the bar in the ....uh....handling of Ms. lynnleestar's box.
***picks self off from floor of courtroom, and dust cat hairs from her lapel***
Your honor, I concur with my partner Ms. bonniegirl. This court is in desperate need of a recess. And I need a shower...and to brush my teeth....ack...Ahem
***hairball***
The defense wishes to recognize and welcome the prosecuting attorney to the circus....er...court. I am sure we will spend many hours doing battle on the field of justice.
Defense would also like to attest to Ms. B's suitability as an expert in all things box related...oh yes...she sure does know her boxes....mmm mmm mmm......oh...excuse me, I digress....
She is also a suitable expert witness in the fields of cats, bushes, and swings...trust me on this one people, or I can provide photos and videos illustrating her vast expertise...No Mr. Lox we will not provide you with "personal reference copies".
***tugs at thong which is riding up***
Well then, if that seems to be all I do have that shower to attend to....Excuse me
***backs out of the courtroom hurriedly***
B...hey B! You got that kama sutra body wash? Woo hooo! Let's get sudsy!
Your honor, I concur with my partner Ms. bonniegirl. This court is in desperate need of a recess. And I need a shower...and to brush my teeth....ack...Ahem
***hairball***
The defense wishes to recognize and welcome the prosecuting attorney to the circus....er...court. I am sure we will spend many hours doing battle on the field of justice.
Defense would also like to attest to Ms. B's suitability as an expert in all things box related...oh yes...she sure does know her boxes....mmm mmm mmm......oh...excuse me, I digress....
She is also a suitable expert witness in the fields of cats, bushes, and swings...trust me on this one people, or I can provide photos and videos illustrating her vast expertise...No Mr. Lox we will not provide you with "personal reference copies".
***tugs at thong which is riding up***
Well then, if that seems to be all I do have that shower to attend to....Excuse me
***backs out of the courtroom hurriedly***
B...hey B! You got that kama sutra body wash? Woo hooo! Let's get sudsy!
I object to this prosecutors reducing our client Ms Montgomerys' ability to testify on behalf of Lox knowing his box as she is certainly an expert witness and well she knows boxes...and....uhhmm....well she doesand ...*looking around for partner Eekachu...*bless you*.....well...we just object....this is a miscarriage of justice and we ask that the court provide for a full evaluation by the PVAPFS....*division of Personal vaporizers and atomizers protective family services*....Perhaps our client one Lyneestar is unaware of proper care of these fragile beings and is in need of new PV and atty classes...she is so young and what with the bloody accident and all and the unswedishfishidy...well...all of that is overwhelming to a new parent.
The prosecutor would best serve her jazzy self to look into the case of the wrecked nerves in cali and poor superbals awaiting the judges arraignment at this time. perhaps this new prosecutor came from a bushy area of town and is more suited to these cases of menage.....managing ...well.....bushes and perhaps the negative nightie conotations and all...
Well...the defense requests a recess...*where is my secretary?...Has anyone seen Ms Johnnie Walker? She is wearing a black label....uhmm...dress and well she is so very smooth....uhmm....very secretarial....yes....*
The defense moves for a change of venue out of the bushes.
*pass the scotch and the PV.....maybe some popcorn....this should be good with a prosecutor and all*
The prosecutor would best serve her jazzy self to look into the case of the wrecked nerves in cali and poor superbals awaiting the judges arraignment at this time. perhaps this new prosecutor came from a bushy area of town and is more suited to these cases of menage.....managing ...well.....bushes and perhaps the negative nightie conotations and all...
Well...the defense requests a recess...*where is my secretary?...Has anyone seen Ms Johnnie Walker? She is wearing a black label....uhmm...dress and well she is so very smooth....uhmm....very secretarial....yes....*
The defense moves for a change of venue out of the bushes.
*pass the scotch and the PV.....maybe some popcorn....this should be good with a prosecutor and all*
***voices heard from the area of the shower room*** who knew court houses had those?
Umm...be right there! ***giggle** Oooo, hehe...oh that's nice...no to the left...ahhhh
We...um I mean I am just washing up....oh, I have soap in my eyes, this will take a minute...yeah that's good
****burst of giggles and squeaking sounds erupt***
Umm...be right there! ***giggle** Oooo, hehe...oh that's nice...no to the left...ahhhh
We...um I mean I am just washing up....oh, I have soap in my eyes, this will take a minute...yeah that's good
****burst of giggles and squeaking sounds erupt***
Your Honor, I object to the defense's aspersions on my character and abilities to prosecute this case.
Ignorance in the proper handling of a box is not a viable legal defense. The prosecution contends that the defense is stalling the commencement of this matter by requesting PV Services as an intervention on proper box etiquette.
If the defendant does not know by "instinct" the proper care and handling of her box it is highly doubtful that PV Services will be able to teach her "box-friendly" ways. And should the court permit PV Services in this matter, how long and how many whacks at the box will be permitted before the inevitable conclusion comes to light? That this defendant is unfit and/or negligent.
The prosecution is prepared to submit to this Honorable Court that the defendant treated her box with wreckless abandon by stuffing her box with unsuitable ......with a gelatinous substance thereby rendering it unusable.
The prosecution is requesting that this court find the defendant guilty and sentence her to a suitable probationary period as well as to issue a PFA order (protection from abuse) to ensure her box is not mistreated in the future. It is recommended that the defendant not handle her box for a period not in excess of 30 days.
Would the defense please pass....Ms. Johnnie Walker........over the rocks please?
Ignorance in the proper handling of a box is not a viable legal defense. The prosecution contends that the defense is stalling the commencement of this matter by requesting PV Services as an intervention on proper box etiquette.
If the defendant does not know by "instinct" the proper care and handling of her box it is highly doubtful that PV Services will be able to teach her "box-friendly" ways. And should the court permit PV Services in this matter, how long and how many whacks at the box will be permitted before the inevitable conclusion comes to light? That this defendant is unfit and/or negligent.
The prosecution is prepared to submit to this Honorable Court that the defendant treated her box with wreckless abandon by stuffing her box with unsuitable ......with a gelatinous substance thereby rendering it unusable.
The prosecution is requesting that this court find the defendant guilty and sentence her to a suitable probationary period as well as to issue a PFA order (protection from abuse) to ensure her box is not mistreated in the future. It is recommended that the defendant not handle her box for a period not in excess of 30 days.
Would the defense please pass....Ms. Johnnie Walker........over the rocks please?
I'm back you sexy 
!I can't tell if I got clean or dirtier in the shower.Who's bottle of scotch is laying out there with the cat in the bushes???Jebus Lox, squirrel print??That's so last year.*rolls eyes*Boots!Woo hoo!Am I supposed to be talking about someone's box??I've just had 3.5 pots of coffee and a hand full of speed.WOOHOOOOOO!
!I can't tell if I got clean or dirtier in the shower.Who's bottle of scotch is laying out there with the cat in the bushes???Jebus Lox, squirrel print??That's so last year.*rolls eyes*Boots!Woo hoo!Am I supposed to be talking about someone's box??I've just had 3.5 pots of coffee and a hand full of speed.WOOHOOOOOO!I would tell you how funny you are but I can see this is serious business so I will refrain at this time as I don't want an injunction against me.
Also, I would like to press charges against boB for the murder of Smiley. I believe this was passed over in the court and I would like to see justice done.
Also, I would like to press charges against boB for the murder of Smiley. I believe this was passed over in the court and I would like to see justice done.
M s Eekachu and I will be happy to represent Mr zbasspro if we are needed. *and if I can find my partner in the bush....uhmm.....office*. Thank you for the referral pm2006 you are a good citizen and a good PV advocate. *hic,,,,hic...*
weeelelllllll....we do have a bunch of briefs here.......*squirrel pajamas?.....cat fur?.........briefs.......OMG this lawfirm has gone to the hic...hic....hic....birds.....uhmmm ...cats.....*
recess your honor, I have an appointment with a Ms Walker.
*we are in deep doo doo now with this jazzy new prosecutor and her uppity lawyer talkin and well her uppity ....everything*
pass the popcorn and some dry briefs please.......OMG is it hot in here?
weeelelllllll....we do have a bunch of briefs here.......*squirrel pajamas?.....cat fur?.........briefs.......OMG this lawfirm has gone to the hic...hic....hic....birds.....uhmmm ...cats.....*
recess your honor, I have an appointment with a Ms Walker.
*we are in deep doo doo now with this jazzy new prosecutor and her uppity lawyer talkin and well her uppity ....everything*
pass the popcorn and some dry briefs please.......OMG is it hot in here?
Could someone send Ms. Walker over this way?....I need her to.....take a memo, no need to dress up, I have glasses.
***blows cat hair off of contents of briefcase***
Ack...cough...sputter....Ahem!
My but it's dusty in here....perhaps the court will entertain hiring a janitor sometime in the near future....Kind of drafty with that window missing and all too.....
***snaps briefcase shut***
MeOWWWWWwwwwrrrrrrrr!
Oh I'm terribly sorry madam, I did not see your tail there.....
Now, where did I leave those thon....er g-str......um...Briefs! Yes, briefs.....no the purple ones....Hmm, I could have sworn they were here before I went to swin...ah I mean before I went to examine the bush.....um grounds for......evidence, yes must be ever vigilant for evidence outside....in the bushes.....by the swing.....
Anywhoooo, I am off to try and salvage some of this paperwork ***cough*** and I think I need a Benadryl....***Achoooo!*** thank you....
And I have cat hair in my....and up.....well in places that it simply shouldn't be...
I will see you all in the morning, or afternoon....perhaps later......
***exits courtroom muttering to self...***
Darn chafe marks...ouch...gotta get that swing fixed....I have splinters in my..............
***blows cat hair off of contents of briefcase***
Ack...cough...sputter....Ahem!
My but it's dusty in here....perhaps the court will entertain hiring a janitor sometime in the near future....Kind of drafty with that window missing and all too.....
***snaps briefcase shut***
MeOWWWWWwwwwrrrrrrrr!
Oh I'm terribly sorry madam, I did not see your tail there.....
Now, where did I leave those thon....er g-str......um...Briefs! Yes, briefs.....no the purple ones....Hmm, I could have sworn they were here before I went to swin...ah I mean before I went to examine the bush.....um grounds for......evidence, yes must be ever vigilant for evidence outside....in the bushes.....by the swing.....
Anywhoooo, I am off to try and salvage some of this paperwork ***cough*** and I think I need a Benadryl....***Achoooo!*** thank you....
And I have cat hair in my....and up.....well in places that it simply shouldn't be...
I will see you all in the morning, or afternoon....perhaps later......
***exits courtroom muttering to self...***
Darn chafe marks...ouch...gotta get that swing fixed....I have splinters in my..............
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Your honor....my but you do look dapper...is that a new haircut? Why you look too young to be a judge.
ahem....The defense objects to video in the courtroom. This is not a reality TV show or a circus...*how to explain the swing and the J-Wow like dress??//sheesh....Eeka makes this hard*...at any rate your honor....well...we object...
*shooing cat away from bench and praying the VS catalog does not make it into the courtroom...things could go to ...well....come....UHMmmm.....may get a bit .....uhm....sticky......tricky....uhmm....BAD!*
I am off to drink....uhmm...eat lunch your honor. Recess please.
*whew.....boy do I need a drink!*
ahem....The defense objects to video in the courtroom. This is not a reality TV show or a circus...*how to explain the swing and the J-Wow like dress??//sheesh....Eeka makes this hard*...at any rate your honor....well...we object...
*shooing cat away from bench and praying the VS catalog does not make it into the courtroom...things could go to ...well....come....UHMmmm.....may get a bit .....uhm....sticky......tricky....uhmm....BAD!*
I am off to drink....uhmm...eat lunch your honor. Recess please.
*whew.....boy do I need a drink!*
Your Honor, with all due respect, the prosecution has no objection to videotaping the within proceedings. It has become apparent that defense counsel is dilly....uh.....dallying in defending their client. Ms. Eekaa Chu has been seen cavorting with the expert box witness, one Ms. BiancaMontgomery just past that window there your Honor. I daresay that witness tampering has occurred. In fact, she has been seen whacking the bushes, Jane swinging and all out cat-calling for the past few days, all within our visual field.
Ms. bonniegirl, in diverting this Court's attention from the bushwhackery out yonder, has taken to drink your Honor. Her penchant for her "secretary" Ms. Johnnie Walker is a "ruse" your Honor. And in fact, she is planning on letting in the "roos" just beyond that door there......making this officially a 'Kangaroo Court'.
The prosecution welcomes the opportunity in having a new reality series entitled "Kangaroo Court" and would be delighted if you would entertain us with a ruling on PIF vs. lynnleestar.
Ms. bonniegirl, in diverting this Court's attention from the bushwhackery out yonder, has taken to drink your Honor. Her penchant for her "secretary" Ms. Johnnie Walker is a "ruse" your Honor. And in fact, she is planning on letting in the "roos" just beyond that door there......making this officially a 'Kangaroo Court'.
The prosecution welcomes the opportunity in having a new reality series entitled "Kangaroo Court" and would be delighted if you would entertain us with a ruling on PIF vs. lynnleestar.
We object your honor.......on the grounds of prosecutorial misconduct and obvious mocking of your honor....why you don't have a pouch and well....your ears are a very lovely size...and well....uhmmm.....*swirls scotch glass*......I have a long illustrious career...and have been defending attys for 2 years and personally have never injured an atty....*well aside from the genius who said crest pro health was a good idea*...and well....uhmm...*.hic...hic....hic...hey don't bruise, , that barkeep, pour slowly along the glass.*
sent using a laptop at the nearby bar using tap a something..hic
sent using a laptop at the nearby bar using tap a something..hic
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:...www.kangaroocourt.info/kangaroo-court.gif&t=1
Why don't I know how to put a pic in yet??
Why don't I know how to put a pic in yet??
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~Gavel slams on the desk~ Time to get things back on right...I mean track... Leave the short briefs at home and lets iron out the kinks. In the case of lynleestar she has been found guilty and ordered to hand over the box before it gets hurt further than it has already.
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