Oh man I had to skim rapidly it's gonna be like this for a while with deeming, etc. I mean, like, yeah. So, I will be skimming but consider yourselves liked, loved, sympathized etc.
I had a pretty good day for dropping my dang Adderall on the floor this morning I should probably not do that but the husband called with pectoral evidence and that helped. Mainly in the sense of like taking my next dose immediately.
You know, I had a great day at work it was tons of fun, sounds like things are shaping up fine for me but the dang day like, I understand the VA system... Forget it. LOL. I mean, Clarksburg is a small VA too, kinda, thankfully. But all is going well there.
Came home, yoga, ate, and my DREAD next door neighbor like, I am afraid I may have set the husband an impossible task because like, she is from Pakistan and her husband decided to take a job in NY and return only on weekends but SHE chose to stay here on her own.
I think that is a culture where like, it's this mutual system of "offerings" and uh, sense of entitlement to ask stuff and I HATE those cultures. You would think a social worker would be all culturally aware and into it, but I am SO SO SO not. I have lived alone (with varying degrees of success) before moving and yeah there were times it was pretty dicey but I will take dicey and ALONE over this intricate web of like, mutual shared obligation.
I mean, she offered to cut my hair, I was like "Only if you allow me to pay you, she said yes, then she said no, and like FUUUUU so I was like, "Crap." So she noted my ah, back brace and said she could not find one and like I was like, "Okay, I will get her one OBLIGATION OVER and go see her at her salon next time."
ONLY then she wanted to pay for it and I was like, "NOPE" and then she wanted help moving mattresses to the dump by asking "if we wanted them" and no we did not want them so we took them to the dump for her.
Since I would not accept money like, she loaded me down with clothing I DIDI NOT WANT and DID NOT FIND attractive but like she kept SHOVING it at me and saying my clothes were "bad."
I was like, "These are my at home clothes and moving clothes and yes, they are very, very bad for a reason, I like them that way they are comfortable and I can get them dirty and NO ARGHHHHHHHHHH." Then she asked me to have MY husband come fix HER cable which he got pissy about and I was like "THIS IS WHY I NEED ACREAGE."
I am not an apartment person because frankly, YEAH I get paid for that but that is a SECURE Transaction and I help people all day and I am nice to my coworkers which is kinda easy and well. I can't come home ARGUING with someone about how NO my feet ARE SIZE 8.5 NO your 7.5 boots will a) not fit me b) if given the choice between used boots and used underwear..... it would be TOUGH. And it's just INESCAPABLE and every time I hear a knock now I like wince and want to die and today she wanted me to eat chickpeas ,fried goat and like, "only a little bit spicy" and she shoved it at me until the alternative was to drop it, and like I was like "I cannot eat that" "Put it in your fridge try it later." "OMG what is IN it I have food allergies and I eat NO spice.' "Did my husband fix your internet yet.?" "No." I am going to kill myself.
It sounds horrible but it kind of isn't and the husband is like, over there explaining. It did not work. She is Muslim though and that will help me deal with her next time because I have TONS of Sufism under my belt and like, she will learn about Heesus. LOL. I will explain some fundamental differences and how that involves sharing not gifts or items and time spent together. Etc. I mean I would have NO PROBLEM hanging out with this chick (I am sure she is lonely) but I am NOT asking my husband to do things constantly she needs to ask if she wants and I don't want STUFF that obligates me into the NEXT interaction.
For one It is HALFWAY through my first week of work. This woman has been up in my grill EVERY day . I just don't have the energy. NOT even close.
But knowing she is a Muslim well, I am going to talk to my mom she can give me some relevant Ramadan statutes or verses or whatever and I can explain what *I* believe which is like, I will share time and enjoy it as long as I don't have to constantly give away and receive crud.
But after today it would have been EASIER to talk to a goat than EAT it, although I am happy the goat is freaking DEAD.
Yeah I probably suck but this is why I don't want to live in town. I am such a misanthrope, but only if I feel TRAPPED. GAH.
Anna