Really Really Bad Jokes
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here's how you catch a polar bear;
you get a saw and a can of peas, then travel to the arctic.
cut a large hole in the ice. line the peas up around the hole.
hide behind some ice and wait. when a polar bear comes near
and bends over to eat the peas, run up behind him and
kick him in the ice hole...
you get a saw and a can of peas, then travel to the arctic.
cut a large hole in the ice. line the peas up around the hole.
hide behind some ice and wait. when a polar bear comes near
and bends over to eat the peas, run up behind him and
kick him in the ice hole...
An American, a Frenchman, and a Russian were traveling together, and stopped at a small hotel for the evening...
The innkeeper checked them in, and told them he had to make up the rooms before he could give them the keys..
"So Gentlemen," he said, "How many sheets would you each like on your bed?"
"Oh, 2 will be fine," says the American.
"1 is plenty for me," says the Frenchman.
The Russian guy is scowling. He grabs the innkeeper by the collar and drags the terrified man up to his scowling face.
"If," he snarls, "you sheet on my bed I veel Keel you!"
The innkeeper checked them in, and told them he had to make up the rooms before he could give them the keys..
"So Gentlemen," he said, "How many sheets would you each like on your bed?"
"Oh, 2 will be fine," says the American.
"1 is plenty for me," says the Frenchman.
The Russian guy is scowling. He grabs the innkeeper by the collar and drags the terrified man up to his scowling face.
"If," he snarls, "you sheet on my bed I veel Keel you!"
My first wife was a blond. I tried to get rid of her by putting a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of our pool.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on him?
Nothing he just let out a little wine!
Nothing he just let out a little wine!
So there are these bits of string out on the town having a good time.
One of them sees a bar, and they decide to all go in. They sit at the bar, but the bartender says:
"You guys get out of here, we don't serve strings"
So they all walk out of the bar, but one of them won't have it. He ties up his head, and then pulls himself apart at the ends and walks back into the bar.
The bartender looks at him and says:
"Are you a string?"
To which the string replied:
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
One of them sees a bar, and they decide to all go in. They sit at the bar, but the bartender says:
"You guys get out of here, we don't serve strings"
So they all walk out of the bar, but one of them won't have it. He ties up his head, and then pulls himself apart at the ends and walks back into the bar.
The bartender looks at him and says:
"Are you a string?"
To which the string replied:
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers
oh dear!
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg
Justice Fingers
oh dear!
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg
Ok that was a bad joke as well as a very sick one ...i do believe your the winner Phalse
heh
Less a bad joke, more on the disturbing side.. eEck!
Why couldn't you have just scratched your finger nails down the side of a black board, same effect
heh
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What is the difference between a pint of vomit and a pint of sand?
You can't drink a pint of sand.
You can't drink a pint of sand.
Young man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey, which he drinks almost as soon as the bartender sits it down. He orders another one almost immediately and slams that one down just as quick. As he orders the third, the bartender asks him why he's hitting the whiskey so hard. He slams his third shot down and replies, "I just had my first blowjob"
The bartender says, "Congratulations. Do you want another shot?"
"No," says the man. "I guess if three shots didn't get rid of the taste another one won't either"
The bartender says, "Congratulations. Do you want another shot?"
"No," says the man. "I guess if three shots didn't get rid of the taste another one won't either"
I can see the ear movement as well, you might have to update the flash add ons to your browser
Have you heard about the New Octo-Mom Breakfast at IHOP?
8 eggs, no sausage, and someone else gets to pay for it.
(only joke I know, sry) lol
8 eggs, no sausage, and someone else gets to pay for it.
(only joke I know, sry) lol
Mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here!"
Mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"
Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here!"
Mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"
Don't mention it kateI'll check them out Rick, thanks
They constantly and some what annoyingly updating the flash versions on a fortnightly bases that i spend half my time updating all addons to firefox which leave's me less time for forum chatting
hehWelcome back btw Kate, loads of these guys missed you lots.....Now maybe all the whining from other members will stop
Lol (Just kidding) Good to see you back
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