So Frustrating when nonsmoking husband just dont understand...

[amrdh5]

Denise, I know exactly what you are going through. My husband is a non-smoker too. He HATES the fact that i won't give up the e-cig. He thinks that I should not smoke at all. He doesn't understand the addiction and the satisfaction that comes with smoking. He wants me to just give everything up cold turkey. I just cant do that and really don't plan on doing that. I can't use the PV around him at all. He doesn't want to see me doing it. I usually go in the bathroom and turn on the fan but then I come out and he gives me dirty looks. I hate that, but I am NOT giving it up. He thinks that if I love him that I will stop using the PV, but it just isn't that easy. Well just know that you are not alone in what you are going through. Glad I have someone else going through the same thing.

 

[Garrell6888]

Many things...many.

Well first off, I'm currently getting the same thing from my grandparents. Very old fashoned people, go to the gym every day, eat well, they never drink or use any type of intoxicants aside from caffeine. I figure they would be happy with me for kicking a eight year habit that has been slowly killing me. He is a bit happy, but he tells me that I'm still getting a drug into my body. And? Coffee has drugs, and if you think about it, drug is a term we have created for a chemical that alters our mind or body in some way. Though words have meanings, they are a human creation, so semantics can be put in place. Don't vitamins and other dietary chemicals alter the body mind? In a sense, everything is a "drug". So why single out nicotine. Because it is so associated with smoking, just as coffee is associated with caffeine. Just because it's recreational as opposed to dietary doesn't make it so different. Imitrex is a successful migraine medication. It is also derived from psylosyban (sp?) which is the psychoactive ingredient in hallucinogenic mushrooms. But one is ok and the other is not? Same drug, so why is it ok to use it when in need as opposed to when you want to have a good time?

Also, does he use caffeine? Both caffeine and nicotine is derived from plants as a natural incecticide; They are very similar. As him to quit drinking coffee or soda, observe his reaction, and compare the two. Why is drinking a "poison" better than inhaling a "poison" when cumbustion isn't involved? Also he is a cop, whicb makes his potential for dying a lot higher than yours is from vaping. Alcohol, pharmaceuticals, the list goes on, but does not include anything less dangerous than a bit of nicotine.

Lastly, be strong, and take pride in what you are doing. Stand up for yourself. You've accomplished something that many people cannot, do not, and eventually die from the lack of said accomplishment. Tell him if you want to buy it and use it, you have every right to, especially if it is essentially harmless to you and the people around you. This is the only life you get, so do what you want. Want to indulge in and unhealthy habit, go for it. Want to become more healthy, go for it. Want to combine the best of both, even better. And don't let anyone take that from you.

Ugh, why are my posts always so long...and I did this from a BlackBerry Storm. Annoying.

 

[Col. Gaunt]

Denise,

Why don't you tell him that your first step was to quit smoking and now you are going to start reducing the amount of nicotine that you use until it is down to zero.

That is what I am doing, I quit 6 months ago after 29 years of putting nails in my coffin. I started with 24 -36 mg Liquid and and now I get 4 - 9 mg.

Tell him it takes time but that is what you are going to do and actually what you should do for your own health.

 

[broomgal]

It's interesting to read all the responses! No matter what the combo smoker/non smoker spouse etc.. it seems there will always be some issues. My husband smokes and he has always said he wanted me to quit so I started vaping.
Now I have had my sense of smell return and am trying hard not to be the *annoying ex smoker* but sometimes he gets upset that I tell him it smells bad. I remind him that he wanted me to quit and it is better than analogs.

Hang in there and keep vaping though. My husband has said the same thing when I mention different things I want to get. He thinks what I have works just fine and no need to change it but it is fun to see all the new vaping *toys* that become available isn't it? Just because we say it looks cool doesn't mean I am buying it ya know???

 

[cyanide_black]

Stories like this just make me so angry! I feel really bad for you. My wife is understanding for the most part, and thinks my pv is great. She just has a hard time understanding when I tell her I bought it to get away from analogs and don't necessarily intend to quit vaping any time soon (if ever).

She used to smoke and was able to quit cold turkey with no problems. She doesn't understand why everyone doesn't "just quit". I am so sick of this attitude from non-smokers and people who quit without help. People who "think" they have never been addicted to anything just don't comprehend addiction. I say "think" because we all know there are many things in life that are addictive but socially acceptable.

The only advice I can give is to find something in his life he is addicted to and use it as a comparison. It could be a beverage (alcoholic or non). It could be a food. It could be sports or gambling. It could be television or video games. Maybe he has a hobby (cause that is what vaping really is). Hell, he could even be addicted to some aspect of his job. I don't know what it is, but I guarantee there is something he can't (or doesn't want to) live without.

 

[SuZamme]

So sorry you are not getting supported by your husband.

I had a similar experience with my partner. I thought all was going great and I would be supported in my journey away from regular cigs. It felt like a betrayal.

I have the link below that is to the post about my experiences and what is so awesome is the wisdom and support I received from ECF members.

This will give you some additional insights into some the possibilities of what is going on for your husband and how you can be pro-active in this and keep your health goals as top-priority AND NOT GO BACK to Analogs.

I acknowledge you sticking up for what you know is right for your body.

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/general-e-smoking-discussion/52170-dont-do-house.html

Vape On!!!!

 

[Sweep]

Hi, first post here.

First of all, please excuse me if the language is a bit "off", English is not my native language.

This one really struck me in the heart. I started vaping tuesday, March 9th and after three days quit analogs completely. I haven't smoked one since, and have absolutely no urge to.

Now, I did not start vaping to quit smoking. I had no intention to do so, whatsoever. I am 37 years old, and have smoked since I was 15. 20 a day, every day. I have tried to stop more times than I care to remember, but have never been able to.

It is apparent to me now, why I couldn't stop. The "ritual" of smoking. I love it, it is relaxing, almost meditative to me.

So I picked up on vaping in an attempt to maybe cut a few of the analogs away, without removing the ritual. To say the least, this worked. I have no need of analogs anymore.

Last night I told my (fanatical non-smoking) brother this. His response: "So you're still getting nicotine, when're you going to stop vaping".

Pardon my language, but I verbally tore him a new one. I got so annoyed that I just threw a fit and basically told him that he could go jump in a lake (thats the polite version). He has absolutely no understanding for the fact that nicotine was not the most dangerous part of smoking. To him, cigarettes = nicotine, and anything other than cutting nicotine completely from my life = failure.

That, plus the fact that he cannot and will not acknowledge the fact that someone can enjoy the whole ritual around smoking.

In all fairness I am quite a bit rough to people who cross me. I have previously had a relationship end simply due to the fact that I was faced with "It's the cigarettes or me". Don't give me an ultimatum like that, if you aren't prepared for the rough response that I might give.

My thoughts: If people are not supportive of you stopping analogs, then it is either because they cannot understand how big this is, or because they don't want to. Either way this is something you did for YOU! You should be proud of yourself no matter what anyone else says.

And if you have nowhere else to get that pat on the back, I will happily give it here!

Kind regards.

 

[jennyhadadot]

So sorry to hear about this...and yes, this is a great place to vent! I can't even count the number of people - who - when I explain my e-cigs..the first thing they ask me is how long will it take to quit them. Well, I smoked analogs for well over 30 years and I have no plans to quit ecigs...maybe in the future, but not now.
No matter what...the best thing you can do is be PROUD of yourself! After over 250 days smoke free I'm still amazed at myself...and I still consider it one of my most important accomplishments. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you!

 

[DeniseN]

So I got up today and read everything you all posted on here, and I have to tell you all that I feel so much better after the night I had. You all here on ecf are so wonderful. I am so glad I vented on here. I don't believe I could have gone to a better more understanding group of people. I just wanted to thank you all for helping me through this, without driving myself crazy.

Every one of you are great. Thank you all more than you know...

 

[5cardstud]

I'm sorry for your postion. It sounds like he's gotten some bum information from someone at work or somewhere. If I were you I would explain to him that nicotine by itself isn't that harmful that it is all the chemicals in smoking thats harmful. Thats why they give you nicotine in patches, gum, etc. cause it's way less harmful. Good luck.

 

[Col. Gaunt]

So I got up today and read everything you all posted on here, and I have to tell you all that I feel so much better after the night I had. You all here on ecf are so wonderful. I am so glad I vented on here. I don't believe I could have gone to a better more understanding group of people. I just wanted to thank you all for helping me through this, without driving myself crazy.

Every one of you are great. Thank you all more than you know...

I am glad that we made you feel better. There are a lot of good people on this forum and it seems that we have a bond between us, we are from all over the globe, but all with the same interest and when we see one of our own in trouble, I don't think that anything would stop us from helping.

Hang in there and VAPE STRONG!

 

[Thulium]

When I am asked when I'll quit using e-cigarettes, I remind them that if I continue to use e-cigarettes for the rest of my life and never reduce the amount of nicotine, I would be exposed to fewer TSNA's than if I had continued smoking just one more day. ...If I had managed to quit cold turkey rather than using the e-cig, there is better than 95% chance that I would start smoking again. Furthermore, the very worst chemicals like carbon monoxide and the 4000+ ingredients of the black tar that had been building up in my lungs have been eliminated completely.

Considering my ADHD, the nicotine in my e-cigarette helps me to remain focused and it helps me to cope with the side effects of my methylphenidate medication so I really don't feel a great need to quit using nicotine...but the further I get away from analogs, the less nicotine I seem to need. If at some point I manage to wean down to 0-nic, I will still enjoy the mental vacation that I get from taking a "vape break"...and even if at some point I stop using e-cigs altogether, I'll keep at least one around (probably my Xhaler) for the craving that will make an unexpected but inevitable return, especially if there is alcohol around. Finally, I'll mention the money I'm saving by switching to e-cigs: When I was smoking, even when I was completely on my @$$ broke, I still managed to find $5+ every day for the "luxury" of cancer sticks.... Now that I think of it, I don't think I've over drafted my bank account (formerly a regular occurrence) since my last analog!

...Usually before I can finish making all those points, (to recap: they are basically harmless, Nicotine has medicinal value to me and has been shown to prevent Parkinson's Disease; PVs are effective at satisfying the craving for the physical activity as well as nicotine; and e-cigs are a money saver as well as a life saver) people realize that this is something that I've put some thought into and most will know that this is an argument they have NO chance of winning.

Some people don't get it though. The other day as I was leaving my usual karaoke joint, a friend of mine (who was smoking a cigarette at the time, mind you) said he thought that e-cigs "are .....". The look on his face when I said "Cancer is for pussies" as the car pulled away was rather entertaining.

 

[kristin]

If you and people with similar stories could post here: http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...you-been-asked-when-you-going-quit-thing.html it'd be appreciated!

I think this is a prejudice that needs to be addressed and nipped in the bud and some people just don't believe it's an issue, so your stories would help. They think that people will just support ecigs because they quit smoking and not be expected to quit ecigs.

 

[Quitter]

Can't say much that hasn't been said except the trump card of working toward Zero Nic. I started vaping with the SOLE intention of quitting cigarettes. I did it in 30 days. But I really don't want to be physically addicted to anything, but I, like most people here, love the beahavioral apsect. It really does do alot for psyche and other things. So I started working my way down in nic and now I'm at zero. I still totally enjoy vaping and don't feel in any way that I'm depriving myself.

The secret is to gradually reduce nic over time. I went from 18mg to 9mg to 4.5 and then zero. I just kept cutting it in half and stayed with each one for about a month or so. I never even noticed the difference. But here's the trump card - vaping at zero nic is almost cost free. I bought a gallon of PG from Tractor Supply for $24. That's ALOT of juice! Year's worth!! I just add flavor to taste and I'm done. I usually do a 50/50 mix of the PG and VG I got at CVS for $4 a bottle. The flavors are really cheap too. So basically you can nearly remove the cost factor and supposed health factor from his argument.

It's a shame you're in this position and I don't pretend to be a psychologist, but it seems this is more about control than money or health. So take some control of your own. Let him know your plan to go zero nic and don't cave in if he still thinks you need to stop vaping entirely. Be strong and live this small part of your life for YOU.

 

[DC2]

If that was his way to get you to stop talking about getting another electronic cigarette, it seems to have worked very well. And I certainly hope that is all he was doing.

 

[Katattack]

If that was his way to get you to stop talking about getting another electronic cigarette, it seems to have worked very well. And I certainly hope that is all he was doing.

Maybe that is the heart of it? People do get tired of hearing about things they have no interest in.

 

[Israfil]

Hang in there and keep vaping though. My husband has said the same thing when I mention different things I want to get. He thinks what I have works just fine and no need to change it but it is fun to see all the new vaping *toys* that become available isn't it? Just because we say it looks cool doesn't mean I am buying it ya know???

If he gives ya too much trouble, tell him its kinda like going into an electronics store for a new tv. You're gonna look at the biggest HD model avaliable, flatscreen and preeeettyyyyyy, but its just looking and drooling.

Thulium, I TOTALLY understand what you mean about the ADD (/adhd). Had them since I was a kid and nicotine really does help calm me down and let me focus. Hell...for a while that was why I smoked. Then came addiction, now comes ecigs to deliver a nice dose of nicotine without all the annoying little problems of cancer, emphysema,occasional pneumonia, weakened immune system, etc.

 

[Papagoatee]

I'm just deducing, but I guess the reason is in the past, he sees you smoking once in a while. But when you started vaping, you are doing it all the time in front of him.

Also an e-cig kit, although a one time purchase, seems to cost more than regular analog packs. When it comes to human mentality, it will seem e-cigs are expensive!

For non-smokers, they will always think that e-cigs are as harmful as regular analogs no matter what stats or lab tests proof you throw at them.

But really, I think 2 e-cigs are enough. 1 as main, 1 as backup. Unless you have the extra dough to burn, otherwise, save up slowly and buy another PV in the future.

You SO is stressful enough that he has to pay all the bills and probably wishes that you can contribute somewhat. Don't mean to offend but from my POV, he cares about you. Which is also why he nags at you and not leave you to your own devices.

 

[KCGal]

He just needs to be educated--- society is made to think that "Tar and Nicotine" in analogs is bad - but really, it's the tar and the 4,000 carcinogens that are bad - not the nicotine!~ Nicotine is like caffeine. It is pretty harmless stuff!

 

[MiloB]

Hey Denise,

Sorry you are going through that with the hubby. This may be reaching but my initial take is he's having a knee-jerk reaction due to the financial commitment to support your vaping. Everyone I know and speak to is conscious of the poor economy and fearful to some degree of how bad it can get for "me". I think the added benefit to you quitting analogs, aside from better health, was the extra money that would be around at the end of the month that wasn't going to cigarettes.

Overall and in the long run, vaping is way cheaper than analog smoking. But your husband might be confusing it as moving one $$ expense (loss) to another with no gain in savings to help out elsewhere in the budget. So in his way, being normal coupled with his law enforcement experience, you're jumping from one addiction to another. He's not realizing that you are treating your analog addiction and health with a positive and gentler way to ensure that you'll stick around for a long time to come.

And the savings will materialize as soon as you are done finding the right back ups, juice, spare parts and learned through experience how best to stretch them.

My wife used to have the same concerns. Now she says I'm a different person because I'm happier and healthier and don't stink. Plus she saw the Post man not making regular visits like he did when I was trying to figure vaping out.

Don't engage. He'll come around. And be gentle to yourself.