So what ails you?

[redgirl]

I get sad because I live on the other side of the country from my family and I hardly ever get to see them. Sucks ... sometimes!

I didn't know this thread was here!

I've been dealing with anxiety, like many of you. A couple of years ago I had a major panic attack and literally thought I was dying. I had no idea what was happening at the time, so I went to the ER. They tested me & everything and said it was probably a panic attack. I guess being in Wal-Mart can do that to a person!

But I've had the stress test, blood tests & everything done and they all say I'm fine. I went to numerous psychologists & psychiatrists trying to find someone that could help me. I was originally on Zoloft and then went to Lexapro because of the side effects, and now am back on Zoloft because the Lexapro side effects were worse. I lost a ton of weight on Zoloft originally, then gained about 20 lbs. on Lexapro. Now on Zoloft again I keep gaining weight. It's like I'm starving all the time and I have an unusually insatiable hunger for sweet stuff. I don't like being on meds at all because I feel like a zombie at times and I forget stupid little things.

My family has a history of anxiety/panic disorders and I guess when I turned 30 I was blessed with this curse. I guess I've always had a little agoraphobia and shyness/nervousness around people. My original paychiatrist said that I would probably have to be on meds my whole life, but I just couldn't believe that, so I found a different psychiatrist and am now working to get off medication, just started lowering my dosage this week, in fact. I've been running in the mornings, because exercise is supposed to be good for your mental well being. But what sucks is that I have hip and knee pain from the army, and my back hurts from a car accident earlier this year. But, I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and trying to deal with reality instead of being in a medicated fog.

 

[sensay]

I get sad because I live on the other side of the country from my family and I hardly ever get to see them. Sucks ... sometimes!

I didn't know this thread was here!

I've been dealing with anxiety, like many of you. A couple of years ago I had a major panic attack and literally thought I was dying. I had no idea what was happening at the time, so I went to the ER. They tested me & everything and said it was probably a panic attack. I guess being in Wal-Mart can do that to a person!

But I've had the stress test, blood tests & everything done and they all say I'm fine. I went to numerous psychologists & psychiatrists trying to find someone that could help me. I was originally on Zoloft and then went to Lexapro because of the side effects, and now am back on Zoloft because the Lexapro side effects were worse. I lost a ton of weight on Zoloft originally, then gained about 20 lbs. on Lexapro. Now on Zoloft again I keep gaining weight. It's like I'm starving all the time and I have an unusually insatiable hunger for sweet stuff. I don't like being on meds at all because I feel like a zombie at times and I forget stupid little things.

My family has a history of anxiety/panic disorders and I guess when I turned 30 I was blessed with this curse. I guess I've always had a little agoraphobia and shyness/nervousness around people. My original paychiatrist said that I would probably have to be on meds my whole life, but I just couldn't believe that, so I found a different psychiatrist and am now working to get off medication, just started lowering my dosage this week, in fact. I've been running in the mornings, because exercise is supposed to be good for your mental well being. But what sucks is that I have hip and knee pain from the army, and my back hurts from a car accident earlier this year. But, I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and trying to deal with reality instead of being in a medicated fog.

I certainly understand that redgirl..... what is left of my family are all in Alabama. And I miss them as well. The holidays are very lonely with out them. My dr had me on Zoloft as well but I felt like a robot... in stead of getting rid of the anxiety and sadness it was almost like to me.. it got rid of all emotion.
(( BIG hugs))

 

[bonniegirl]

Hugs to all for the courage to speak up when asked "How are you?"

PIFFER enters chat: Hey all
chatter reply: Hi so and so...how R U?
PIFFER: Great, how R U all?
Chatters: good

Lies, we all lie. We don't want to lie, we don't want to burden and we wonder....."Do they really want to hear the moaning, sobbing, griping, grieving, sadness, morose reality of my life?"

NO!....It is easier on the hurting to say "great."

Sad truth be told.....a surprise to many and not to a few......I have lied.

I have Coronary Artery Disease, 3 heart attacks...first at age 43....last ending with a quad bypass at age 45. Take 26 pills a day. Have 7 stents..(apparently they can not remove them even if the vein is bypassed) and the body finds them foreign...so...enter problem #2....autoimmune rheumatoid arthritis....pain in too many places to name and trying to keep this wall of text down to a novel. Problem #3...nerve damage from heart attack #2 caused a condition called esophageal achalasia. In short, the esophagus shuts down to pinpoint size and will not allow food or liquids down. While eating the large lump is stuck in throat at mid chest and mimics heart attack. Botox injections with EGD every three months relieve this but cause reflux which burns throat like fire. Lack of appetite (a learned behavior from the pain) has caused a malnourished state which does a wonderful thing called weight gain as the body stores every calorie it gets due to vitamin and mineral deficits.
Picture bloated stomachs of malnourished ethiopians....that is me with lighter skin color. Problem #4....caused by the open heart....cracked back when using adult size retractors on my tiny chicken frame and crushed cervical discs...4 of them ...Epidurals, trigger point injections and enough narcotics to choke elephant taken daily ease a bit but hurts to type at times.
Problem #5..Dear Daughter is bipolar and found her own cure at age 13 despite psychiatrists and therapy which financially bankrupted us..(insurance does not recognize mental illness and substance abuse as real medical conditions and have limits and larger copays eaten in one hospitalization for 3 days).....note: Obama care addresses this, don't knock what you have not read and don't believe everything the "news" tells you about it. Dear Daughters self cure? .....a drug that starts with Her( that this site will not allow )..it ends with oin...........15 years of living in Hell for her and everyone that loves her. Problem #6...WE, my saint of a husband and I, are raising her son, he is now 5 and erases every other thing I have typed here. Born 5 drug positive at 30 weeks, weighing less than 3 lbs, we have had full custody since his birth and I have the answer to why women go through menopause....we are too damned old to raise little ones the way they deserve to be. I just add extra hugs and smooches where the playground time should be. Problem #7...Mother died of brain tumor at age 43 when I was only 21 and my father is alive but dead to me as my life "has too much drama for him!"...sorry, his loss, not mine. I do have 2 sisters and a brother, though the closest BFF sister is suffering from MS and it kills me to watch her struggle with paralysis on one side and still cooking everynight with left hand (not dominate) and walks with brace and falls daily.

WHEW....I never did that before...I look damned bad on paper...(the good part of the story is coming)
I am happy to be alive, daughter is in a great rehab (court ordered so they can't kick her out after 3 day detox and maybe this is her rock bottom (prayers needed). The grandson fills me with joy and my happy chat friends at PIF really do love me and a few know all of the above...(if it is you reading this....I do Love you for your support and caring) I get overwhelmed with anxiety and xanax is a staple in my diet...LOL and GOD...well...what to say about his mercy and love....without it, I am nothing.

I do need to say that it is both a sad and happy thing that when I have the worst of days and feel I can go on no more...not one minute even....someone from PIF will PM me or chat with me and hug me virtually with a hug smilie and I am all better. At PIF the JOOSE (as our sweet Tuck calls it) is phenomenal, the giving is great and the trying new flavors and cartos and hardware is always fun, but the best part of PIF is that I am loved...all of me....scabs and scars and mouthiness and overbearing as I am, just the way I am. We have every race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, size, personality type and no matter what you are cared for and loved just the way you are......Boo Boos and all.
And for that, especially on Thanksgiving Eve, I am most thankful.
God Bless you all with all of your ailments and aches and pity and boos and hoos....I still love you just the way you are. Be certain I will pray for each of you....and please pray for my family...just don't do the oh poor Bonnie thing....I no likee.

PS...This thread is without a doubt...A NEED and not a WANT!

LOVE and HUGS
Bonnie

 

[lynleestar]

My dad passed away on Dec. 11th, and the Christmas holiday just hasn't been the same since then. I definitely get the blues when this time of year rolls around.

 

[gramakittycat]

Hugs to all for the courage to speak up when asked "How are you?"

PIFFER enters chat: Hey all
chatter reply: Hi so and so...how R U?
PIFFER: Great, how R U all?
Chatters: good

Lies, we all lie. We don't want to lie, we don't want to burden and we wonder....."Do they really want to hear the moaning, sobbing, griping, grieving, sadness, morose reality of my life?"

NO!....It is easier on the hurting to say "great."

Sad truth be told.....a surprise to many and not to a few......I have lied.

I have Coronary Artery Disease, 3 heart attacks...first at age 43....last ending with a quad bypass at age 45. Take 26 pills a day. Have 7 stents..(apparently they can not remove them even if the vein is bypassed) and the body finds them foreign...so...enter problem #2....autoimmune rheumatoid arthritis....pain in too many places to name and trying to keep this wall of text down to a novel. Problem #3...nerve damage from heart attack #2 caused a condition called esophageal achalasia. In short, the esophagus shuts down to pinpoint size and will not allow food or liquids down. While eating the large lump is stuck in throat at mid chest and mimics heart attack. Botox injections with EGD every three months relieve this but cause reflux which burns throat like fire. Lack of appetite (a learned behavior from the pain) has caused a malnourished state which does a wonderful thing called weight gain as the body stores every calorie it gets due to vitamin and mineral deficits.
Picture bloated stomachs of malnourished ethiopians....that is me with lighter skin color. Problem #4....caused by the open heart....cracked back when using adult size retractors on my tiny chicken frame and crushed cervical discs...4 of them ...Epidurals, trigger point injections and enough narcotics to choke elephant taken daily ease a bit but hurts to type at times.
Problem #5..Dear Daughter is bipolar and found her own cure at age 13 despite psychiatrists and therapy which financially bankrupted us..(insurance does not recognize mental illness and substance abuse as real medical conditions and have limits and larger copays eaten in one hospitalization for 3 days).....note: Obama care addresses this, don't knock what you have not read and don't believe everything the "news" tells you about it. Dear Daughters self cure? .....a drug that starts with Her( that this site will not allow )..it ends with oin...........15 years of living in Hell for her and everyone that loves her. Problem #6...WE, my saint of a husband and I, are raising her son, he is now 5 and erases every other thing I have typed here. Born 5 drug positive at 30 weeks, weighing less than 3 lbs, we have had full custody since his birth and I have the answer to why women go through menopause....we are too damned old to raise little ones the way they deserve to be. I just add extra hugs and smooches where the playground time should be. Problem #7...Mother died of brain tumor at age 43 when I was only 21 and my father is alive but dead to me as my life "has too much drama for him!"...sorry, his loss, not mine. I do have 2 sisters and a brother, though the closest BFF sister is suffering from MS and it kills me to watch her struggle with paralysis on one side and still cooking everynight with left hand (not dominate) and walks with brace and falls daily.

WHEW....I never did that before...I look damned bad on paper...(the good part of the story is coming)
I am happy to be alive, daughter is in a great rehab (court ordered so they can't kick her out after 3 day detox and maybe this is her rock bottom (prayers needed). The grandson fills me with joy and my happy chat friends at PIF really do love me and a few know all of the above...(if it is you reading this....I do Love you for your support and caring) I get overwhelmed with anxiety and xanax is a staple in my diet...LOL and GOD...well...what to say about his mercy and love....without it, I am nothing.

I do need to say that it is both a sad and happy thing that when I have the worst of days and feel I can go on no more...not one minute even....someone from PIF will PM me or chat with me and hug me virtually with a hug smilie and I am all better. At PIF the JOOSE (as our sweet Tuck calls it) is phenomenal, the giving is great and the trying new flavors and cartos and hardware is always fun, but the best part of PIF is that I am loved...all of me....scabs and scars and mouthiness and overbearing as I am, just the way I am. We have every race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, size, personality type and no matter what you are cared for and loved just the way you are......Boo Boos and all.
And for that, especially on Thanksgiving Eve, I am most thankful.
God Bless you all with all of your ailments and aches and pity and boos and hoos....I still love you just the way you are. Be certain I will pray for each of you....and please pray for my family...just don't do the oh poor Bonnie thing....I no likee.

PS...This thread is without a doubt...A NEED and not a WANT!

LOVE and HUGS
Bonnie

My dear Bonnie a (((HUG)))from a fellow chronic illness pt who understands more than most just what living with chronic disease daily really means.From starting each day taking 3/4 of an hour just to get out of bed to take our "breakfast " of pills; throughout the day of usually sitting at home alone coz you can no longer drive and walking more than a block or 2 is to painful and you can't see or hear well enough to do alot of the things you used to enjoy. The computer is your lifeline to the outside world but even there you can't use it to much for fear of overstraining your eyes possibly causing another headache or dizzy spell.Evening has its own special times trying for sleep that won't come even when it does it is'nt restful and is broken by bouts of pain.Boy it really flows once you start (semi -sarcastic laugh)Like you Bonnie my oldest(a son)fell into that world only diff is the drug starts Cr...I thank the Good Lord each day for his recovery 10 years ago;he's married and with 4 beautiful kids.I did'nt mean to vomit all over your post but I know you understand what it is like.I have to stop here before I let more out,one day I will.Please know I will be praying for you and your family and don't hesitate if you ever need someone else to talk to.No pity okay ?like you me no likee either 'From my heart I wish you and everyone else here a Happy Thanks giving ! Can you feel this huge cyber hug from me to you dear Bonnie (as tears are wiped away)

 

[keyzygirl]

Bonnie,I just read your post up there,and your right.We do just say fine even if its not!and Bonnie,we ALL do love you!You make us smile all the time,your a wonderful lady and you deserve all the love you get!I am glad to have you here.Very glad!!

 

[atsirk]

Tears are pouring down my face as I read this. It's not pity. I don't know what it is. It may be feeling bad but at least it's feeling something. I've been in bed for 3 days. When someone calls, I am "fine" and can fake cheerful. Then I go back to bed and wrap myself in my electric blanket cranked on high and wish I could take a pill but I can't, I'm a former benzo addict, that was the only thing that ever helped my anxiety but I took it too far. I have no groceries but I can't bring myself to leave the house - especially can't go in a grocery store. I have so much to be thankful for in life I know, but right now all I can feel is anxiety, pain and sorrow. And hunger lol. I was laid off last Friday and my roommate gave notice and I know that this too shall pass I really do but damn I wish it would hurry up and pass already. So, there's my mess. I know once I hit post I'm going to want to take it all back and I might even do that but for now there it is.

 

[Lisa B]

I hear you and feel your pain, most of my life I have hid under the blankets, walled up in my apartment or glued to my computer just hoping to feel alive. You are not alone and I know this doesn't help one bit but try and do 1 thing out of bed today. It might only be brushing your teeth, which might sound stupid to some people but for those of us who have been there it can be a big deal. Hold on for all you are worth, you will get through this. hugsssssssssss

 

[atsirk]

Thank you - it actually does help a bit. My big plan for the night is to brush my teeth. (((Hugs))) back. I feel bad, I have 2 PIFs to get out, they're sitting here all bundled up and waiting - Friday for sure. I actually had to get out of bed to hit the computer, so some progress is being made. Maybe just getting it out helps a little. I haven't even made it to the mailbox and I have at least 2 packages in there from orders I placed last week. Weirdly, I've wanted a cigarette all week - I've been holding on to my PV like a pacifier but I'm not getting the same satisfaction from it. Maybe I want to "feel the burn"? Who knows - but I guess maybe it's a good thing I don't want to leave the house - I can't buy a pack of smokes from in here!

 

[Adja]

Sensay, you are not alone in your feelings about Christmas. I have felt overwhelmingly sad at Christmastime since I lost my Mom over 20 years ago. She was the center of Christmas at our home, and it was never the same after that. My dread of the season increased further a few years ago when my Dad chose Christmas Day to tell me that he had decided that he wanted to die. He passed away a week later on New Years Day.

I get through the season by blocking all acknowledgement of it as much as possible. I avoid shopping malls, Christmas specials/movies, holiday parties, etc. I do not send Christmas cards or exchange gifts. I've found it easiest to handle it that way. Before you know it, the season is over and all the lights and trimmings disappear fairly quickly.

I have always hated that after-holiday tendency for everyone to go around asking everyone else how their holiday was. I never really have figured out a way to answer that both truthfully and gracefully. I usually just wimp out and say (lie), "Fine, and yours?"

Wow, I don't usually reveal personal stuff. I was inspired by everyone else who posted. Thank you.

 

[lynleestar]

I generally cope the same way. About 4 years ago my first Christmas with my boyfriend he insisted on a tree and I did a 180 and went completely overboard....his family is very big on get togethers and I went all out with gifts and cheer and whatever. Next 2 years were the same, but this year I want nothing to do with it. No feeling the spirit of the season for me right now

Sensay, you are not alone in your feelings about Christmas. I have felt overwhelmingly sad at Christmastime since I lost my Mom over 20 years ago. She was the center of Christmas at our home, and it was never the same after that. My dread of the season increased further a few years ago when my Dad chose Christmas Day to tell me that he had decided that he wanted to die. He passed away a week later on New Years Day.

I get through the season by blocking all acknowledgement of it as much as possible. I avoid shopping malls, Christmas specials/movies, holiday parties, etc. I do not send Christmas cards or exchange gifts. I've found it easiest to handle it that way. Before you know it, the season is over and all the lights and trimmings disappear fairly quickly.

I have always hated that after-holiday tendency for everyone to go around asking everyone else how their holiday was. I never really have figured out a way to answer that both truthfully and gracefully. I usually just wimp out and say (lie), "Fine, and yours?"

Wow, I don't usually reveal personal stuff. I was inspired by everyone else who posted. Thank you.

 

[gramakittycat]

AsI read back over some of these posts I can't help but feel a bit embarrassed at just how much I put out about myself.There is alot more but just reading what I wrote earlier causes me to scurry back into myself and reflect.I see so much sadness over the festivities surrounding the holiday season ;the memories that surface at this time of year.I wish I could reach out and hold each one of you,give you a shoulder to lean or cry on but all I am able to do is pray for each of you.I do think though that if we look past all the lights and decorations that maybe remembering what the season truly is for and that is to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus.that focusing there instead of the commercialism.Well perhaps some peace for our spirits will be found there .I understand our beliefs may not be the same but I sincerely hope each of you finds some comfort in some way.(((HUGS)))

 

[Lisa B]

Thank you Gramakittycat I think I needed that, I am a long way from my kids not to mention all the other crap in my life. Maybe a little more prayer and a little less self pity is what I need right now. (((((((((((hugssssss to all ))))))))))))))

 

[bonniegirl]

All of my PIF Family with ailments, pain, suffering and grief
Happy Thanksgiving Day to one and all. "Happy what?", you may be thinking. My take on that:
We all have choices to make in life, this is the story I would tell all of my nursing students regarding attitude.
The Clean Crap with Joy Theory
You paid a college to teach you to be a nurse. Nurses care for humans at the worst and best times of their lives. All humans must crap as a healthy bodily function. Since illness disrupts some healthy bodily functions, some may crap on themselves. As a nurse you have three choices. (Note: this is the universal message, folks)
Choice #1. Ignore it. This choice leads to more crap later, a very foul smell and a decrease in feelings of self worth of the patient
Choice #2. Clean crap in misery. Have a scowl on your face while doing so. The crap smells twice as bad, the patient feels horrid and the job is 20 minutes of your life spent in sheer agony for you, the patient and all those surrounding you.
Choice #3. Clean crap with Joy. I know this sounds impossible, but believe me, it is not. Have a smile on your face. Tell the poor human that was once potty trained and is now reduced to a state of reliance on others that all is ok and that crap to a nurse is like mortar to a brick layer. Hum a favorite hymn. Tell the patient a joke or story. Normalize the situation as to send the message to that patient that he/she is not the only one this happens to. (no one wants to be the only one, all want to be validated and have worth in the world).
I have pain and sorrow and know grief first hand. Momma died on the 5th of December leaving an empty tree for 3 younger siblings. Choosing #1 would not be what Momma would want for her family. We made do and LOL most of the day. Choosing #2 increases pain and suffering and decreases mood and increases grief. Sadness is much like joy, it multiplies itself. Endorphins, a natural pain reliever and anti-depressant are released when one laughs. There are studies to prove it. (PM me if you want the resource. Read Bernie Siegles book, Love, medicine and Miracles. Buy it for yourself for the holidays)
Choice #3 is my choice for my life. I cleaned crap with JOY. I make lemons from lemonade. It is hard at first...the pits and the pithe and the bitterness of the rind and all....but with practice you will make a fine lemonade for yourself. It won't taste like anyone elses'....It may not be the same color or sweetness, but it is much better than a plain ole bowl of lemons.
Choosing number 3 is what your loved ones living and dead would want for you. It is what your friends want for you. It is a healthier physical life choice. It is what I pray each of you do. Choose to LOL for a bit. Maybe you won't be able to do it for the whole season of Ho Ho Hos' but maybe for a while. I promise, the season won't be so sad, the pain will be less, the anxiety will decrease and the crap won't stink quite so bad.
This Thanksgiving make a start ....clean crap with Joy. The sufferers friend.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

 

[librarising]

All of my PIF Family with ailments, pain, suffering and grief
Happy Thanksgiving Day to one and all. "Happy what?", you may be thinking. My take on that:
We all have choices to make in life, this is the story I would tell all of my nursing students regarding attitude.
The Clean Crap with Joy Theory
You paid a college to teach you to be a nurse. Nurses care for humans at the worst and best times of their lives. All humans must crap as a healthy bodily function. Since illness disrupts some healthy bodily functions, some may crap on themselves. As a nurse you have three choices. (Note: this is the universal message, folks)
Choice #1. Ignore it. This choice leads to more crap later, a very foul smell and a decrease in feelings of self worth of the patient
Choice #2. Clean crap in misery. Have a scowl on your face while doing so. The crap smells twice as bad, the patient feels horrid and the job is 20 minutes of your life spent in sheer agony for you, the patient and all those surrounding you.
Choice #3. Clean crap with Joy. I know this sounds impossible, but believe me, it is not. Have a smile on your face. Tell the poor human that was once potty trained and is now reduced to a state of reliance on others that all is ok and that crap to a nurse is like mortar to a brick layer. Hum a favorite hymn. Tell the patient a joke or story. Normalize the situation as to send the message to that patient that he/she is not the only one this happens to. (no one wants to be the only one, all want to be validated and have worth in the world).
I have pain and sorrow and know grief first hand. Momma died on the 5th of December leaving an empty tree for 3 younger siblings. Choosing #1 would not be what Momma would want for her family. We made do and LOL most of the day. Choosing #2 increases pain and suffering and decreases mood and increases grief. Sadness is much like joy, it multiplies itself. Endorphins, a natural pain reliever and anti-depressant are released when one laughs. There are studies to prove it. (PM me if you want the resource. Read Bernie Siegles book, Love, medicine and Miracles. Buy it for yourself for the holidays)
Choice #3 is my choice for my life. I cleaned crap with JOY. I make lemons from lemonade. It is hard at first...the pits and the pithe and the bitterness of the rind and all....but with practice you will make a fine lemonade for yourself. It won't taste like anyone elses'....It may not be the same color or sweetness, but it is much better than a plain ole bowl of lemons.
Choosing number 3 is what your loved ones living and dead would want for you. It is what your friends want for you. It is a healthier physical life choice. It is what I pray each of you do. Choose to LOL for a bit. Maybe you won't be able to do it for the whole season of Ho Ho Hos' but maybe for a while. I promise, the season won't be so sad, the pain will be less, the anxiety will decrease and the crap won't stink quite so bad.
This Thanksgiving make a start ....clean crap with Joy. The sufferers friend.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

Bonnie, you are priceless.

 

[librarising]

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you on this thread.

Part of the battle is being able to voice out loud what "ails you" and when so many loving compassionate people embrace you without judgment, healing on many levels can occur.

Just want to send all of you a big, loving, healing huggy.
Lois

 

[Superbals]

I just found out the day before thanksgiving it looks like i have diabetes dunno anything more than that yet about managing it and how its going to effect my life but i just hope and pray it doesn't hit me like it did my mother......i don't think i could live like that......

 

[gramakittycat]

I just found out the day before thanksgiving it looks like i have diabetes dunno anything more than that yet about managing it and how its going to effect my life but i just hope and pray it doesn't hit me like it did my mother......i don't think i could live like that......

Wow,thats a helluva time to find out! I was diagnosed 2002 and turns out I'm insulin resistant meaning I've been on all types and combinations of insulin over the years.At present I take 120 yes one hundred twenty units of Lantus daily still have blood sugars in the 200's but better than in the 3-4 100's!Listen to your doctor and DO what he says.Hang in there ;there's alot of us around!

 

[Enid]

Superbals,
My sweetie/meanie was dx'd with type 1 diabetes two years ago. I'm not going to lie, it was a huge change for us. The quick method for learning about how diabetes affects the body, pills, insulin shots and food choices was audiobook cds. Here's the best one that we found:
Mayo Clinic on managing diabetes (6cds)
We listened to it for free from our local library.

good luck!

 

[leannebug]

Hugs and love to all my PIF family. Thank you for opening up, for sharing your problems, your struggles, your fears. Thank you for giving love, sympathy, and understanding how the others feel.
I too have other 'things' that clutter my life and 'stuff' that makes life difficult. It's the way we handle it, the choices we make, the stories we share that shapes how this stuff effects us.
I've been wandering around ECF this morning because I found out my neighbor passed away yesterday. She and her husband are family to us, like grandparents to myself and my children. I am feeling a great loss and I don't know what to do with myself today.
I ended up here: on this thread, and it's given me comfort. Comfort to know I'm not alone in my grief. In my loneliness. In my wanderings. For that, I am thankful.
Bless you all,
Leanne


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