Spouse not understanding vaping

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Mariwashere

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Oct 12, 2009
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Sounds like she's coming around, good for her! Hang in there... it takes time sometimes for people to see the benefit in switching from one thing to another, especially something like vaping that can have a steep start-up cost. I recommend keeping a running tally of what you're spending versus what smoking cost you (both for her benefit and to help you keep an eye on it as well)... once you dial in what works for you the maintenance cost should be dramatically less than smoking.

Also, vocalizing the benefits you're feeling may help reduce her concern and make her more supportive.

Non-smokers tend to see it as just as bad as smoking... when your upkeep cost reduces and your health and happiness outweigh those concerns is when they begin to 'get it'.
 

JENerationX

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No spouse here, but the somewhat significant other has never smoked and just didn't get the vaping thing. He was concerned about whether or not it would be harmful or leave a film in his place.... but calmed down when he realized that I really wasn't going back to cigarettes, looked healthier, felt healthier, and lo and behold... don't even snore anymore.
 

jimrug1

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My GF didn't really understand it at first, but like many people, she just didn't have a good understanding of it. Rather than simply explaining it off the top of my head, I showed her a few articles and youtube clips that did a great job of explaining it to me when I first got started. She isn't about to start using them herself or anything, but she fully supports my use of them now (in opposition of smoking) and even will rate my juices for me based off of their smell. I'm like a walking air-freshener, haha.

Damion; I was going to suggest the same before I saw your post. Most nagging in regards to vaping is done out of ignorance. Time & education is the key to relieving her anxieties about what you are doing. Find her articles to read (both pro and con so your bias doesn't show) Lots of info in the internet and you tube. She will come around.

If not. Light up an analog and blow the smoke her way, then take out your favorite juice, and vape it her way. Look her in the eye and say one or the other, which is it going to be honey?.. <-- Kidding ... kind of

So she "allowed" you to buy a Provari? Really?? Thank you for reminding me why I am not married anymore ... Ha
 
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I think I can add something to the talk about addiction and a spouse who was able to quit smoking cold-turkey, which my now ex-wife was able to do while she was pregnant 15 years ago...

Drugs are a way to modify our dopamine, not a perfect way, but we learn to do it somewhat...which is why sometimes a cigarette really satisfied, and sometimes not.

Drugs are probably illegal for the same reasons the Catholic church says don't .........e - because it's not a pathway natural to our species - the most natural pathways to our dopamine come from interactions with other people. I've come to the opinion that relationships, Zen "Mudita", and prayer are the most natural pathways we can develop, but all of the others are human behaviors, just not accepted perhaps because they are us doing something more or less by ourselves for ourselves, and that there is a slightly annoying element that people recoil from when they see us not needing them. Of course, we do need them, but if it's not giving us what we need, or we've somehow blocked out part of the experience, the dopamine part, from our interactions with them, then we experience a deep but low level sort of withdrawal, which has been termed in psychology, "Reward Deficiency Syndrome."

It is important to know and understand our dopamine experience, that what happens in between our ears... it's all us. Dopamine is a trick we learn to do inside our own heads, and if we lack experience with it, or block it, we can expect to develop pathways that are addictive and complex, and never quite give us what we really need. Self-medicating is replacing what comes naturally with something that does not.

It's also important to recognize that of all the methods of self-medicating available to us, and we are stuck re-using narratives available to us through our cultures, vaping is less harmful to the individual and others.

To the OP: you may want to avoid doing it in front of your spouse, and treat it like a real cigarette in that way. Your pride in finding a non-destructive way to self-medicate may rub people the wrong way, and tend to separate you instead of bringing you closer together.

Dr. Gabor Mate's narratives helped me to see these things more clearly, but I've taken off with them after doing a lot of research. Oh, and my wife divorced me after my ADHD diagnosis, so...be careful of what you say and do that isn't along the lines of what the relationship is supposed to be about (relationships are a test-tube for us to learn and refine our dopamine abilities, IMHO).

---------------------------
And, that's five - back to the Modding threads, whoopie!
 
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Qcaj

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^ - Is this the calibre of posts that are normally on ECF? Pretty awful impression to see "no girls on the internet MAKE ME A SAMMICH lollolol back in the kitchen hurr durrr" crap when I first join a new place.

Anyways...

My partner isn't a big fan of the ecigs, but I haven't been able to quit cold-turkey, and we're down to Champix or the e-cigs. I even went and shelled out the $65 for two weeks of Champix, but he put his foot down and said "NO WAY! Get the e-cigs with nicotine, throw that $#@% medicine away." So... there you go.

My end-goal right now is to be able to stop totally, vaping/smoking/anything, but for now I think it's a good step, and at least if I relapse quitting vaping I'm not killing myself.
 

Racehorse

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^ - Is this the calibre of posts that are normally on ECF? Pretty awful impression to see "no girls on the internet MAKE ME A SAMMICH lollolol back in the kitchen hurr durrr" crap when I first join a new place.

I'm a female, and wasn't offended.....I have 4 brothers, so I'm used to taking a lot of ribbing being the only female sibling. I'm pretty sure this was all said joking around/tongue-in-cheek.

Girls like that communication stuff... Go figure.

Who was that comic that made jokes about men just "grunting" ? He was funny. Tim the Tool Man.

Is this what makes gals "high maintenance" to guys? ....we prefer talking rather than just grunting, so yeah, it takes a little effort sometimes. :p:vapor:


Anyway, I'd look for male wisdom from my bros, you could see their eyes light up at the opportunity to pull one over on me. :) I love to fish, and I would ask them how come guys always go on these fishing trips with their guy buddies and often don't take their wives/girlfriends? And the answer I'd get was : um.....it would just ruin the experience, it'd be hard to explain to you, no offense.

Of course, they were just manufacturing these responses to get my goat.

They taught me to roll with the punches and just hand it right back. I worked in a male oriented profession, so I just got used to not getting "outraged" at some of the stuff I've had to listen to and put up with. It just makes you look thin-skinned. There is a line of course, that you don't cross, and believe me, they knew what that was........but generally, guys will be guys and that's kinda why we gals like 'em. IMHO

Vape on!
 
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It does get to that point. My hubby also vapes but what he asked me when my first e-go 650mah batt died was why did I purchase the M60 1300mah batt. Simple, I told him I just want my vaping to last longer. I'm even planning on buying a second kit so when I'm charging the first one, I still have another one to use. :)

What I'm trying to say is that I didn't argue with him, but I argued my point. Explaining things calmly even if it's becoming repetitive may be the best recourse. I hope everything turns out for the better.
 
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