How about, "My friend here is Chinese. I'm sure you've notice the ears. As a child he got his head stuck in a mechanical.......rice picker. Fortunately an American missionary lived nearby that was a skilled plastic surgeon in civilian life!"?
Wasn't it a relief when captains stopped kissing everything in sight, throwing foam boulders around, trying to hide a beer belly and stretching out just a few lines ... for ... what .... seemed .... like ... several minutes?
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