I'm not going to disagree with you that we could do things a lot differently and that there would better results, like public health information and safety. I also agree that criminal charges are probably not the best idea. However, I will say this. I think you are over attributing the allure of these acts to their taboo nature. Although I don't disagree that something of an illicit nature attracts people to some extent, I think that there are other factors that play a bigger role. For example, when talking about nicotine and other things, I think that there is a natural inclination to use these substances because they alter our state of consciousness. This is a desire that people have always had. Even animals will eat some plants that alter the mind, like mushrooms and catnip (I'm pretty sure that catnip does, but I could be wrong). Even small children have fun doing this, like when they spin around to make themselves feel dizzy. So, regardless if it's caffeine, nicotine, or something more drastic, I think there's a good argument that we have a natural inclination to imbibe these substances.
I agree there are other factors than simply the illicit nature. In fact, I'm sure the illicit nature is kinda far down on the actual reasons for continued use, but kinda high up on the reason for initial use. I think the desire for altered state of consciousness is higher among adolescents than most other ages because up til that point it has likely been "follow this rule because I said so" or "follow this policy because that's the way it is and you aren't in any position to challenge this." I think the desire to alter state of consciousness is also desire to rebel against that while also leading to desire to open doors that were previously perceived as shut. IMO, one doesn't need 'drugs' to obtain this, as music can open up some doors, or even a really good book might.
The next reason is self-medication. A lot of people smoke cigarette or drink to help them relax, right? The same goes with more intense substances. Addicts use them because it helps get rid of stress and pain. Since there is a natural tendency to use these, I don't know if simply allowing them to be legal and talking about them would have any substantial effect on their use. A lot of teens would still use nicotine and other substances for reasons besides peer pressure or a desire to defy authority.
Partially agree. You say 'addicts use them because it helps get rid of stress and pain' when I think it is observable that users who are (allegedly) non-addicts will use for same purpose. What is the reason a lawyer might have a drink everyday after work, other than self medication? Let's assume the lawyer in this hypothetical example is not an addict/alcoholic as I'm sure all of us know people that drink frequently but aren't in same boat as chronic abuser. I think kids are tuned into idea that some really successful people self medicate (often with drugs, some of which are legal) on a daily basis. It honestly strikes me, to this day, that this is one of the ways in which people get ahead in their walk of life, by associating themselves with the people who work hard and can play hard on a daily basis (or no less than weekly basis). So, it isn't just the rebellious thing at work, but the idea that this choice to use doesn't take away from success and arguably enhances chances of success.
The blatantly overt delinquent people in a high school aren't coming off as 'cool' I think to their peers. Rebellious? Sure. But the fellow student who is doing well (B+ average or higher), plays well on sports teams or is involved in other extra curricular activities, and is having kegger party this weekend, comes off as cool. Who doesn't want to join with the cool (and attractive) people in these events in effort to self medicate, and get ahead?
As far as punishing the mother, we have a legal, and I believe moral, duty to take care of our children. Unlike other people, you have a duty to rescue and you can't sit by while your child suffers or dies. I know that this is all a matter of degree. In other words, it's obvious that you have to intercede if your child is being abused by your partner or spouse. You can be held criminally liable if you don't. On the other hand, there are situations where it is not so clear if a duty is being violated. Providing tobacco and alcohol is probably one of those. I've known people who buy tobacco for their children because they believe their children will steal it otherwise and could be at risk of criminal charges. Likewise, some people provide alcohol in their homes to those underage because they don't want them trying to buy alcohol illegally and/ or drinking and driving in the process. I think that these may be valid reasons. At the same time, there is a counter argument that providing these substances exposes your children to health risks and addiction, if addiction is not already present. It's a complicated question, but I don't think we should just dismiss either side without some consideration of the issues at stake.
I very much agree with this last part. I recognize that if it were magically 'all legal' tomorrow, the perception of problems with teen use would go way way up. And would have many to most people questioning, 'who thought it was a good idea to make it all legal?' In a home setting, between parent-child, it is obvious (to the child) who thought it was a good idea for this child to have access to the substance. And in some cases, I'm sure we can imagine parent who is doing it in a way that amounts to child neglect, while also imagining cases where it is done in way to provide oversight, reasonable control and mature supervision in case things go in direction of 'getting out of hand.'
Part of the way I choose to see things is that at some point in history, in some cultures, we used to have shamans involved in rites of passage who provided access and direct supervision, with awareness of cons of going in this direction. Fast forward to what we have now, and some of that shamanic role exists, but it is really occurring in a peer to peer way in most cases, or perhaps (and hopefully) with parents who can provide the supervision, who understand the pros and who are reasonably aware of the cons. Yet, parents in that direction are generally observed as neglectful or even harmful. So, that leaves children to fend for themselves and to plausibly follow guidance from peer who is cool, seemingly knowledgeable, and/or attractive. I don't think if it were all legal, and the leading up to that was incredibly well thought through that the peer to peer thing would stop. But I think that would be greatly influenced by a substantial group of parents who are essentially adopting a shamanic role in effort to guide the next generation on a path they have already walked.