The Joke Tread!

[P0P]

please forgive me if i miss given a joke a like all of them deserve a like so i will get true them WOW! this is awesome thank you all





Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of
Baseball
Jonah: Here’s my paper
Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay
Lets hear what you wrote
Jonah: Game called off on account of rain

 

[P0P]

A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas

 

[P0P]

Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!

 

[jj2]

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

 

[P0P]

Herds of elephants from all over Africa were summoned to a meeting in the jungle, as their national leader took his place on the stage, one of the African elephants trumpeted impatiently: “Come on, tell us what this is all about. We’re all ears. Elephants have a bigger Brain Uh! then then folks

 

[jj2]

Did you hear about hte new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

 

[jj2]

 

[jj2]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? -- Anyone can roast beef.

 

[jj2]

 

[jj2]

Where does the one legged waitress work?
The Ihop

 

[spacekitty]

No Dogs Allowed

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahua as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

 

[jj2]

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

What do you call a pony's cough?

A LITTLE HOARSE................

 

[liblue1]

What kind of flower is on your face?

Tulips.....................

 

[liblue1]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.............................

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS.........................

 

[liblue1]

What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BANANANAAAAAA!......................

 

[jj2]