The KBV Novella-- Complete and Unabridged

[Dalton63841]

This Thread is dedicated for the memory, and the further continuation, of the Kick Bass Novella, which originated here.

This is a living storyline of made-up persona's, sometimes based on your own persona, sometimes just completely random, that tracks their goings-on in the Hidey Hole on Lake Fishigan.

Feel free to bring your own persona and build on the story. There is no judgment for being a bad writer, just have fun.

So pull up a stump, cast out a line to catch a kick bass, and FFS, leave your VomitVapor at home!

 

[Dalton63841]

Beginnings

Congrats BoB.....Now I am assured a steady supply of Tootsie Rolly without the pleading, whining , standing in lining and oh a BIGGER bottle.......yeah, no more 3 mls. Neener, neener, neener.....Me can has it allllllll. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL tootsie is mine now......BWAHAHAHAHA. No more for nobody. Oh and the snickerdoodle and the sugar cookie.....yeah. It is a good thing....to quote Martha Stewart, of course. The recipe is a good thing....it is.
Ahem....as you were........
ssshhhhhh, I think I have a nibble.......oh, it is a bite..............HOOKED! And it is a BIG ONE. *spreads arms wide to exaggerate the catch size.

Hugs and good Luck (which you will not need with the lures you use)

Oh....Boo and Hoo.......she doesn't believe I caught a big tuna.....cause....no pics....I can tell.........I will get pics of my big catch of tootsie roll....I will....and all will be left at the dock.........HA!


BOB.......Hurry on that BIG bottle, gotta show my big catch............*they think all fishermen....uhmmm....women ....lie, I will show them*

Do you have tracking yet???????

nm....today is SUNDAY....now that is horrid....simply horrid. ......Boos ....and hoos.....and whines and sniffles and ......tissues and ........*looks around to see if the sympathy card is working*........

(Not so ) Angry Amy

Well since you have a black belt and...uhmm.....mine is gold to match my shoes and purse....and ....uhmmm...well....the pics looked soooooo Angry.....I will share a bit with you.....but the rest of you? NO.....bag your own catch.....TOOTSIE IS ALL MINE.......BWAHAHAHAHA!

These guys are going to help all us ole timers get a great catch. Good folks, good prices, great taste and vapor and above all....TaDa.....free entertainment. This guy is funny......he is.....just sayin.....he is real funny....*looking*...and well, isn't that what life is all about? A good family, a tolerable job, a good laugh and a relaxing vape....ah, the good life....*missed THAT train*....but....after all is said and done......excited about these folks at Kick Bass. Great to see Ya Apple...pass the word...would ya? We'll be meetin here in this hidey hole of a fishin hole. *wish I had a megaphone but would prolly look like that nasty cheer coach on Glee and well that would not be good* I don't do running gear well....*shows the cellulite and hard to get over the curlers and all*
as you were....pass the popcorn? I think I got a bite.................................

weather? weather?.....you mean the tootsie may be snowed in????....OMG....The weather outside is frightful????????
I DO NOT WANT TO REALLY LIVE THAT CHRISTMAS CAROLE!
Shovel, blow, call the National Guard.........The tootsie must get out!
Hey, anyone got a dog sled?????????
PM if you do.........just sayin
*curls in ball sobbing*

Sky
Glad that my horrid, misery ridden life brings you a chuckle.....I suppose you already have your tootsie....Yeah, WI is real close to MO....and boB prolly used the 4 wheeler to deliver and you are singing, "but the fire is so delightful" and....well....this is horrid.......simply horrid for me. The waiting, the wondering, the pacing and pondering....the nerve of these jolly TV commercials....HO HO Ho-ing all over the place and me in such tootsie rollyless misery. Sob, Boo and Hoo....woe is me.....and agony of defeat.....more boos and hoos and a sob.

As you were

Cap'n B.O.B
How is the ice situation? I am so worried about the welfare of your family. Yeah, wouldn't want any slips or injuries or MAIL DELAYS.....uhmm...just sayin....I want to make sure you are all tootsie....UHMMM...toasty warm and all. Yeah....ahem.....toasty warm! *think this sounds too fishy?*.....Was just inquiring about your weather situation........that is it.....just the weather....oh...and of course your family.
Hope you are staying work....uhmm....warm...yeah........ warm.

Was just trolling by and noticed I left my cooler of cold beer and live bait at the dock......Dagnabit..........*Oh, that was a dream or a NIGHTMARE......wipes sleep from eyes*...Not much for ice fishing here on the mid East coast and much too old for a big bamboo pole and a bobber....UGH the patience and attentiveness required make that a definite NO WAY.....so I guess I will wait for my bag limit of KBV Tootsie and OMG and snickerdoodle and well....a few other small items. *the kids will never miss the embezzled Christmas money and it is a season of Jolliness and Joy and what better way to be jolly than to stalk the mailman and find prezzies just for me? I DO have to shop, pay, wrap, lug, hide, read the same ole Christmas stories while hubby drinks the Rum Coquito and rests and THEN after everyone is asleep....relug out of the hidey holes, fix up the tree trimmings, fill stockings and place presents under tree and a fat man in a red suite gets all the credit....OMG! I am exhausted....I need a good vape and a scotch....Johnnie Black or Gold (if you have it ) ....oh, and a few MLs of Tootsie....is that too much to ask? HUH? I have been a good girl this year...*Wow, that is a fish tale, even I don't believe it"...well. I have been a bit good at some things, does that count?

Still looking for an ice breaking Dog sled team...PM if you can help.

As you were...*hic....hic*......*two more fingers, please*....hic

HO HO HO and all that Jazz....*hic*

Pass the popcorn...*hic*.....salt and sweet go so well together....just sayin

You're cracking me up bonnie and I am sorry the dog sled got stranded here. boB didn't know that would happen. He wasn't playing favorites. Just thought it would be the best route for the dog team to take. I swear. It should only take a couple more weeks before they can get out of here so you should have your Tootsie soon after that.

I've been trying it out for you................err.............I mean keeping it semi safe and warm. Pay no attention if the bottles aren't quite full or seem a little watered down. I saw my neighbor sneaking away and am almost positive he took some and tried to fool us by adding water. (I'm sure he did that with his parents liquor bottles as well ) The nerve of him! I now have it in my carto........I mean vault, to keep it completely safe from him.

Sky
A COUPLE WEEKS??????
Well...that is utterly horrid..simply horrid.
As for the neighbor.......CAN YOU SAY RAT POISON? How dare he remove such valued property from ones' home.

It is horrid and I feel simply horrible! I feel I let you down in not protecting your valuable treasure. I thought about digging a few holes and putting bamboo spikes in them but am afraid my squirrels will fall in. Don't worry though, I will think of some way to get the little rat.


I tried soaking a tootsie roll in water and pouring it in the bottle but it just doesn't taste the same as what boB sent you. At least I don't think it would. I'm just guessing of course since I would never dream of using your tootsie. It was the neighbor I tell ya!

Ummm...............after reading the end of your poem, I will get right on getting the sled team out. Maybe two weeks was an overestimation.

Sky...Bob....and other TOOTSIE OWNERS

No excuses, fish tales, estimations and fishy stories about delinquent neighbors shall deter me from my pursuit of my perfect vape *or suck me into placated nonsensical explanations*....It is simply a Mother Fu......uhmmm Nature....yeah....Mother Nature cosmic joke. I can take a joke but some things are just not funny. Like squirrels that do a number 2 on ones face *Yes, tis sad but true*...or tree rats...*More squirrels*...that choose my large window and bird house as a perch for uhmmm....procreation....right in front of me!.....I am traumatized enough.
I need a little garvey and a small motor and a few ounces of tootsie and I will be good. Squirrels apparently can not swim!

Anyone with a garvey and small motor or a dog sled that could help, please PM me.

Pass the popcorn...oh and some tissues......

The Tootsie is on it's way bonnie. I stayed up all night and shoveled and shoveled through many states. You should have it soon.

It would have been so much easier if Lake Michigan wasn't in the way.

Sky
You would allow a silly little lake to deter you from your quest to aid in my serious dilemma?
Me thinks you do not quite understand the serious nature of this problem.
I do appreciate the attempt, though.
Sob....boo....and ....hoo.....*looks up to make sure all are watching and sympathizing*
Tis horrid....simply and utterly and most assuredly horrid.
And....the squirrels and the defacing of the grafitti siggy and the procreating at the window *almost like a squirrely version of Bourbon Street FFS....squirrelly Mardi Gras!....UGH*
Oh woe is me...and Boo...and Hoo....and sob......sniffle.....choke, sputter and spit.......

Pass the popcorn.....extra butter please, screw the heart diet.

I know..........I am a failure. I am so sorry I couldn't go further. It's just all those added miles were too much for my decrepit body.

I asked the counties if I could use their snowplows and they had some lame excuse about having to clear the roads for cars! Unheard of. They don't care about that any other time. I think it was plain and simply a case of discrimination against e-cig users.

I tried to get Santa to whisk them to you but he said " I am just too busy" I couldn't believe it! The miserly old guy wouldn't help at all. I even offered to drive the sleigh but he wouldn't let me borrow the reindeer. Said something about speeding.


I just can't believe how unwilling everyone is to help in this catastrophic situation.

Sky
You tried.....Boo......and a... Hoo......at least you tried.....
Oh woe is me...............................
*curls in fetal position sobbing and mumbling to self regarding unfairness of life*

LAKE MICHIGAN?..................ICE?.............................and to have Santa turn his back on me??????

WOW.................I must have been a bad girl this year

sometimes bad is good....just sayin

sounds a bit "fishy" to me.
Tell the truth B.O.B.
You sent the Tootsie by way of Siberian post. It is two whole days since I ordered. Why not start a delivery service....like Dominos Pizza? Yeah.....little vans with lights on top...and underpaid drivers that cant count change and oh....yeah...the cardboard box and the sogginess of the product......nah....NM....I will wait for the tootsie. Is prolly best for all concerned as If I got soggy Tootsie, I would go POSTAL!

OK...tracking sonar received on my catch.........Things are looking better in the fish report area....but must one describe the vapor to those less fortunate vaporless. Do you eat a Big Mac in front of the soup kitchen patrons? Do you neener neener neener to starving dogs when you toss the crusts in tall garbage dumpsters? Sky....thanks for the sled and all.....was kind and considerate but now? ALL IS RUINED! Those pooooor souls waiting at the mailboxes on the East Coast....LIKE ME! And ...well...you know the jersey attitude....Don't you watch the Jersey Shore? Our postal workers are creeping out the single moms and doing GTL before delivery and well....when they get here....they reek of ETOH.....just sayin......their hair products come first. AND THESE ARE THE PEOPLE ENTRUSTED TO THE TOOTSIE!

Now,.....this is HORRID............SIMPLY HORRID

*mumbles something to self about TV screens and dog sleds and GTL and creepin*

Woe is me.Boo.and Hooo..........sniffle........slobber......sniffy.......(that was for you yssiM)

Pass the popcorn please, It will be along winter in Jersey.

I feel so bad bonnie.

I promise I will never eat another Big Mac in front of the soup kitchen ever again.

Glad you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Happy Mr. Birthday Boy Chris....got your KBV, Huh?

Well that is real nice...........................................really nice..............and it is soooooo good,HUH?

*mumbles something about lack of fairness in the world and Karma and when will her ship come in*

OH woe is me.......Boo and Hoo and..sob and sniffle..........All I ask is for a little kind....uhmmm..........TOOTSIE!!!!!!


Is that too much to ask? *peeks outside to see if there is any extra mail night deliveries, well, there could be, miracles happen*

Pass the popcorn.......sniffle

The shameless thing?

Mailman stalked.......check
mailman arrives.......check
mailman leaves ad for Home Depot and a Sears bill........check into psych ward

I want my Tootsie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.*sob......sputter....choke....sniff.....Boo....and Ho.....woe is me.........Hic......choke again.....sniffle.....sputter........UGH*

I am in NJ FFS, so is StressedOUT......WHY ME? I have been a good person....well.....*an OK person*......I have...and I never take candy from babies and I hold doors for old people and I say please and Thank you and tip 20% to waiters and well......could someone PLEASE pass the scotch? .....*OMG, I would even drink Dewars at this point*....Johnnie Walker Gold, black if Gold is too expensive..........*pour it right you idiot, don't bruise the scotch FFS*.....Why thank you....yes....that is better....*Adios Mio*.....

As you were all you good vape owning nice people.

Most Sincerely
A tootsieless person

*Hic.....Hic.....3 more fingers please......Hic*

Ciego
You, my friend are a keeper. Just what we need around these here fishin holes. I would prefer if you ride shotgun and not bring your spear gun with you. I will operate the boat.......*FFS who wants to run straight on to the bank or a tree or worse....an iceberg....ACK!*....you seem like a reasonable guy....why oh why did you have to use the word tootsie as the object of the spearing. It so pained me.....it did.....*sniffle, sob, boo and hoo*....I mean you could have said FOOTSIE!......PLEASE, I beg of you, never take the tootsies name in vain. It is the holy grail of vaping IMO...we must revere it, care for it and above all of this....LOVE IT. TY for your offer to share....but sorry you will never get any as ALL TOOTSIE IS MINE.........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Keyz and D......
Now.....this nap thing.........where did you get such information? I resent.........represent......that! A nap is a beautiful thing and well all the vaping and the GS and the guarding over the Tootsie.....it is exhausting. Bad idea anywho, cause Me takes all goodies to bed with me. Is not unusual to have me, hubby, GS, doggie, Senior` Roberto Tekkibahn (my beloved PV) and several bottles of joose all in my king size bed.....and well.....I will not be "JUDGED" what or whom I spend my free time with. Ms Johnnie Walker Gold and I have had a long time friendship and well....I NEED HER.........I do........My idea of perfection?
1. Healthy, fed, happy, warm, quiet kids
2.A few warm temp fingers of a good Ms. Walker
3. Tootsie (or snickerdoodle or OMG or caramel Popcorn) dripped ever so expertly and soaked properly upon the wick which requires patience and expertise beyond the capabilities of most
4. Senior` with a full green light battery with an Iken 801 shorty well broken in
5. Little doggie BooBoo at my feet

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That my friends is the Life IMHO

Now that this stealing during nap thing is rested.....as you were, back to your regularly scheduled programming, Pass the popcorn please?

ahem.....DIVA?....Did I hear Diva?....*dusts off Jimmy Choos and hand presses the Evan Piccone blouse, considering having the KBV delivered directly to manicurist as arrival of joose will be same as apt time...hhhmmmm*

Ahem.....lovely ideas Bullet.....Southern Comfort is so ...uhmmm...comforting....just not sure the inhale would not cause the same effects as a shot, sputtering, coughing and the "lemon face"....OK....I am a shot wimp....tis a good sipping whiskey, though.

Tootsie accidentally mixed with my caramel popcorn DIY and was heavenly....so Tootsie is an all around good vape. Like a good chardonnay, goes well with everything, strawberry? YES! and ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh, how bout raspberry?

*runs off toward DIY box for some experimenting*.....NM, how can one violate the perfect vape? Would that not be heresy?
no, Ciego, I did not say hedonistic, heresy. *OMG, sure he is taking notes with that braille thingy...at least he can't see the smilie with it's tongue sticking out at him....tee hee...come to think of it , how to hell can he fill carts or drip FFS? I miss and I have sight, bet he smells of all e-liquids mixed together....well at least those in the atty abuse courtroom thread will know when the court reporter is coming.....sniff, yep, here he comes....quick, move the furniture around, I need some entertainment*

Bee Oh Bee and Mistress of Mixing
Please check PMs for my order and cross off all Tootsie from other orders.
Thank you for great customer service and personal attention and great Joose and a good sense of humor and did I tell you how lovely you look in your avi? Both of you, such Love and so handsome together......ahem....You both are such gifts to the vaping world. Just Lovely.....Just Lovely.......
Most Sincerely
Bonnie

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

syringes in noses, fishy stories and CANNED CLAMS???????


WOW, I can't leave this here fishin hole a minute....all goes to hell in the basket.........

Now....back to the reason for this business here. Tootsie is all mine. I am number one on the new site, DLite knows a hidey hole secret and .....sniffle, boos and hoos and sniffle, sputter, choke........He no tell me yet!

Now that is horrid..........simply horrid.....just sayin....it is.

Is it me or is Stressedout eating a stripper for dinner? OH MY, oh dear, well........ahem.......*looks around to see if sunday school teacher is watching*....that sounds...uhmm...interesting

@Candy....UHHMMM....I do like you....but some things are....UHMMM....just......ahhhh......sacred....YES...sacred.

@stressed.....I do not use the Bennie (The Ben Franklin Bridge, a bridge from Philly to Jersey shore) so therefore am NOT a Bennie and since I DO NOT take my lunch in a shoebox, I am NOT a shoobie....Therefore.......as you were....*with your "gourmet" dinners....FFS, if I served something from a box around here.....well....it would be horrid....simply horrid....*Frickin son with his ratings of the dinner thinking he is Ed Hitzel..(a food Critic from the Atlantic City Press for you mid westerners)

@Missy....I want the IP addy of that video downloader.....I want to know how they got my picture....the one in the American flag print....this is an invasion of my privacy.....It is horrid.....*wonder if they will buy this load of fish bait?*....I did not authorize....ahem....my picture for a video....

Now...I have bigger fish to fry.....DLite is not number one, I am.....and Bee Oh Bee will vouch.....*He better or I will tell all his secrets and boy oh boy are they juicy fish stories*

Bob, My but you look well rested and so MANLY.....such a nice ....ahem....physique......And boy you have the best juice of all other men......you do and the bottles are soooo big and sturdy.....ahem.....You do look Mahvelous.

*looks around to see if Girl Scout leader is watching*

*jumps out of hidey Hole*

GOTCHA YOU TOOTSIE THIEF!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ahem....bought 60ml of candy bar myself today since I vaped the 3ml sample in 4 hours........decided to lower nic on that keeper....is too much......is too.....fishy....uhmmm......strong.......for constant vaping.

Hooray for dlbald the winner with vape placid...was a good one.....kudos and congrats

*hope they notice the nice side of me*

Bob...you do look mahvelous today....so....manly. *Whispers in ear*.....I am number one right?

@Eeka....Ms. Johnnie Walker and I have known each other a good long time and ...well...that is quite personal

Stick to the fishin and mind your own uhmmm....vices

Bob, you look tired, sit down and allow me to massage your shoulders, all that mixing is getting to you...there, there
*looking around to see if Missy looking*....You look mahvelous....you do......*hope this gives me number one spot on fishin hole site*

well, order placed and number one goes to me....ahem....I am number one, right Bob?

Congrats on site and well.....Kick Bass Buddy

Nice review by Basilray.....definitely a juice for the vaper looking for layers of flavor.....I agree the juice vapes consistently on 3.7 as well as 5-6 volts. That in my experience....*dino era, old as dirt ole gal, vaping before LRs, cartos, mods and the like*...is unusual, Most e-liquid loses flavor at higher voltage and all is there.......ahem.....*hope that got me a kick bass fishin license number one*....is very good juice at a very very good price. As for his comments about more flavor...I agree to disagree...the flavor is spot on for me and if more flavor were added I would fear the overpowering chemical flavor taste but that is just lil ole me.

*mosies over to the cooler and pulls a few fingers of Ms. Johnnie Walker....oh she looks so good in a black dress for everyday and wow her GOLD dress for special occasions is a knock out....aahhhh, this is the life*

It seems the NCLady is as I an ole time vaper with fewer posters.....ahem.....poet and don't know it. Not so often I am agreed with...as ....uhmm....I am not the usual......uhhmmm....not a usual type person. But....hey. others agree the joose I choose is good....so...*hic*.....Guess I am not so UNUSUAL after all.......*pours a few fingers....ok four fingers....and sits back on a nice log*
This is one of the nicest fishin hidey holes I ever been at......good vape....good drink....good company....well....most...*That Eekachu could work a nerve or two, I will tell you*...and a good game warden to hand out the license to fill yer net....what more could one want? ....*The frickin snow to stop fallin in south jersey and a bit of sanity would not hurt*

as you were....pass the marshmallows please....and throw a log on that there fire, I am cold as a ...well...I am cold......*covers high beams*

***Sticks out tongue, sticks thumbs in ears and waggles fingers at bonnie while her back is turned***

***bonnie turns, I smile***

You just remember who goes and fetches Ms. Walker for you when you're too drunk....er I mean too busy fishing to go and pick her up, work a nerve can I...I'll remember that, and here I was going to share my fresh catch with you....guess I'll have to keep it for myself.....

smell??????

I smell something fishy......was that trouble maKing *like the boys and girls type* around this hidey hole again?

Wow, they let anybody in here......what has this come to?????,*takes a few more fingers of Ms, Walker and finds bottle has emptied*..........OMG.....*Not the KBV JOOSE FFS*..EEKA!!!!!! come here this minute..........did you touch Ms. Walker?

*stomps off into the wooded area of bushes searching for that trouble making Eeka, pulling briars from legs, cursing and staggering*

This is horrid,,,,,,,simply horrid and I left my Tootsie on the log.........*boo and hoo and sob and sputter*

Now, let's get back to this "Thug" dude. A THUG?????? Well, that is horrid....and he loves the KBV joose?.......*runs to lock all KBV joose in a tackle box*...wait....a THUG could just carry that away and with bolt cutters....OMG....*Not the joose FFS, the horror!*......*looks around for a masked thug with salivary glands drooling and a vicious look of need in his eyes*......when they get those teeny weeny 3ml bottles it is a tease and they get desperate..................Bob, IMO, if you see an order come in that looks a "Bit shady or Thuggy" do not fill it..........He will never be satisfied, he will continue to thug our joose and we will be mugged and the fishin hole will be corrupted and.............*takes a swig straight from Ms. Walker....well IT IS 5:00 SOMEWHERE FFS and this is a joose emergency*...........a THUG..............how horrid......simply horrid


*hides behind strawberry field and peeks around, bra filled with KBV jooses to keep safe (or lost)......shivering and sweating from nervousness or was that the Ms. Walker?*

BTW< Discount? ................LOL..................find joose at this quality and price with a discount and I will eat Ms. Walkers label....uhhmmm...... dress.

@NCLady.....I resent.....UHmmm.....represent that statement.....UHmmm....LOL is good medicine and ..well.....I love to be HIGHLY medicated.........*whispers in NC Ladies ear*.....ssshhhhh....don"t tell anyone but I am under this tree stump.....No, not there....over here....Yes.....come closer.......*snatches KBV joose...oooohhhhh, nice PV*...............neener neener neener

@Missy.....WHOOT?.............That is Mrs. Whoot to you.........ahem.......do you have any KBV is blck labels.....UHmmm....dresses?

@BasilRay.......I get no coffee taste at 5volts and plenty of TH with OMG..........nice song BTW.....could someone pop in the CD by Alicia Keys and Jay-Z...Sings to self quietly as not to be found with goods.....New York,,concrete Jungle where dreams are made of , there's nothing you can't do, when you're in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you......wait, this is a fishin hole FFS, what is wrong with me?*..........*realizes Ms. Walker has see thru dress on.......OMG*...................EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAA, the STATE STORE, NOT THE BAIT STORE!.....*Dimwit brings me blood worms FFS....UGH*

Lee bug
get the warm sugar cookie or maple frosted rolls, different and delish
JMHO

Pass the Ms. Walker back please...........respect the brown bag lady............she is a .uhmm..........FRIEND............of mine.

@Chris.....feel free to order the new items......uhmmmm...just leave the Tootsie, candy Bar, buttercream icing and warm sugar cookie alone.....well............cause......they are all mine...just sayin. Any flavors not in your taste arean can be left under that stump over yonder.........uhhmmm.....it is for the poor and suffering vapers.......Yeah, like a food bank where you take your unlabelled canned goods and old french style green beans and a few boxes of old dried up pastas with the box ends coming unglued and walk away feeling like you have helped your fellow man.....Yeah, PUBLIC SERVICE...........yeah........the VAPE BANK.
*wonder if they buy this load of carp> Throw that in your peace pipe and smoke it.......tee hee....OMG...(Not the joose FFs, a OH MY GOD, for the ingenious plan for getting joose*
*Walks over to stump and nuttin.............scratches head and looks around for fresh footprints.thugs ya now.......nuttin?WTF*................They like em all????? *How will this diabolical plan work if they like em all?

Oh well, back to the fishin hole to net my own.......*what to say to the cheap, tight wad, never smoker, non-vaping, penny pinching, so tight he squeeks when he walks, hubby? I know he will say we have enough fresh caught to last a lifetime.......What to do, what to do?*

"Oh sweetheart.....come here you studly latin lover, Momma has a surprise for you........Oh, My you smell nice........I so love you, I do.........."

*carefully slips pants off and checks pockets for loose credit cards (to assure they not fall out and get in the hands of THUGS!) and slips CC in own pocket*

"Papi, you get comfy right there on Mommas bed and I will BRB, gotta ....uhhmmm....check the roast in the oven"

*signs on puter and quickly PMs KBV*......*Speaks loudly in a good Housekeeping wifey sort of way*

"Nice glass of Rum Coquito Darling?.BE RIGHT THERE" *PM answered quickly as usual, types reply quicky, Yes, very well thank you, How much? OK......Paypal here I come.......Payment sent......whew, wipes sweat from brow*

*Runs off to "pay" for Joose..........dang Paypal with their Email notifications FFS*

*peeks around tree stump*

YOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PPPPSSSSSTTTTTT...........over here

In the hidey hole

There you are!!! Sneaking off with Ms Walker taking a nap... Bring another log for the fire while I bait another line.

**tip toes over to Bonnie**
***KERPLUNK*** fell flat on my face.... looks on the ground to see an empty bottle with a black dress on it ....
Dangnabit Bonnie...pick up your bottles would ya!?!? >>>>picking self up off the ground<<<< Brushes dirt off knees, and sputters out dried leaves from mouth.... Darn woman!
I will be busy baking up the goodies for awhile... Y'all watch my pole for me, and keep the fire stoked keep an eye out for that thug.. Please and thank you! BBIAB

*throws a line in the water and sets up his folding chair, takes a seat and relaxes waiting in anticipation for the fish to bite*

Take That Bonniegirl!!! Mess with the brown bag errand boy again will ya!

Chris from KY.....OK....OK.....what more do you want from Bee Oh Bee? Want him to vape it for ya too? Huh?....................Just shet yer pie hole long nuf fer him to mix up my Tootsie first. Peaches and cream?............pppppfffffttttttt........MORE PIE?.....nah...........*FFS can't that motorbike yer sittin on go any faster than a crawl?" I been waiting here for the longest for my state store brown bag...and well...........you are............ahem............you are SLOW!......I can't wait that long and now you are a blabbin about orderin up the tootsie and Bee Oh Bee is teasing saying he sent you a sheet load of it and well..........Ha Ha Ha...............NOT!...........not funny.....just sayin, this is a womans' life here.

DLite-Drop your line all you want there ain't no tootsie to be got in this here honey hole, cause all is mine...............ALL, that is A......L.........L.........is MINE. Got that, HUH?....AND....furthermore, Bee Oh Bee does NOT need to make a So Co vape to be legendary, He IS legendary and very manly and looks Mahvelous and well he is PERFECT! He is.......*Hope to God BOB reads this load of carp and sends me extras in my goodie bag, men love to have their egos stroked, they do*

@Sandy....glad my sad, lonely, miserable, pain ridden mess of a life gives someone pleasure.....just sayin....I am real glad........and happy and all the other niceties, Do you have any brown bags to show your appreciation? NO?.JUst words? oh, I see...........OK.............I see. It is a crying shame about that......uhmmm........what was it you graced us with this fine snowy LUNCHTIME?..............Ah , yes..........it was GREEN MUCOUS..............thanks......I am sorry..*but not about what you think, scuse me while I pray to the porcelain Gods*

Now, whew............on to a personal problem............*No FFS, not that Eeka left me hi and DRY or that Chris is so Dang slow and worried about his PIE!...........A horrid thing is happening to me............I need to speak to the game warden about...does anyone know about those tree rat things called squirrels?..............I need to know why in the h.......E...double toothpicks they choose my birdhouse (outside my picture window that overlooks a beautiful pine grove).to.uhmmm........well.....how to say.............REPRODUCE? And..........WTF is all the screeching about? I am traumatized...............I have PTSSED (post traumatic squirrel sexual exhibitionist disorder)......this is horrid...........simply horrid..........I sooooooooo need a smooth drink............Please......anyone, I beg of you a few fingers of scotch.........I would even *god forgive me for I am about to sin*.......OK....I would take the Dewars....there, I said it.....I did..........and I would

Pass the marshmallows and stoke that fire please? OMG.....*NOT the jooose*.it is cold.....

MISSY, Buy that man a drink..........UHM.............a PIE.....................yeah, anything he wants, Peaches and dream......uhmmmmmm............cream.................Yeh

*pours four fingers of Ms. Wlaker in a RED dress?.....WTF? THE CHEAP ONE?*

Missy.................make that blackbird pie please.

oh where oh where did bonnies tootsie go oh where oh where could it be, With that big ol bottle and my favorite PV oh where or where could it be.....................Pulls up in conservation truck, looks around and see's a burning fire with no one around.

Looks in computer to see whom has this hidey hole...........................-----------............---Registered to Ms. Bonniegirl..................-----.........

Walks around and finds empty black labeled bottles and empty tootsie bottles scattered everywhere.

*Tapes a Ticket to the log carved Ms. Bonnies behind rest*

You have been fined 3 bottles of tootsie for leaving a fire unattended in this beautiful wilderness and for Tootsie abuse and for not leaving the game warden a nice warm enjoyable pick me up on this cold day in January*

That should fix er

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Bob
A vape for all around...........GLEN?...............OMG.*NOT the joose this time*....where has my first love been? OH Glen............SMooch, smooch, puff, smooch, puff, smooch.................*hic...hic*

*sings to self aloud with a four finger glass of ole boyfriend Glen in hand*
Kentucky rain keep fallin down and up ahead's another town that I'll keep walking through.......with the rain in my shoes......*wait, that is not rain down my leg! ACK!...............Who is whizzin down my leg and tellin me it is rainin?*
HHHMMMMMM......*looks around suspiciously from hidey hole stump.......had to be that Kentucky motorbike ridin, slow movin, pie eatin, peaches and cream dreamin CHRIS!* And WTF is this?
*picks up Game wardens bribe and studies with one eye shut for better focus*.........This is highly unacceptable. A pleasant hidey hole near a fine fishin hole full of freshly stocked catches and now this?

BOB, MIIIIIIISSSSSYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, The game warden is bein mean to me and Chris was ...... down my leg and tellin me it's rainin and well this is horrid............*OMG.(not the joose) this is so terrible what has become of me ...........sob and boo and hoo and another boo and a sob for good measure..........*Oh my I so hate tattletales, and look at me now!*

*curls up in hollow tree holding Ms Walker in red dress and Boyfriend Glen with other hand with white knuckles. Tootsie safely tucked within depths of bra........sobbing and sniffling*

Oh woe and agony on me, woe and agony.

*sings to self in low sad tones*
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya, kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya, someones crying......Hic..........lord...........Kumbaya.oh lord.........Kumbaya

asks all to hold ears cause nosey tattletale Bonniegirl must yell all way to MO,

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris is trying to put his hooks into Missy and he wants to put her in his net and he is being bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Neener Neeener neener

Ciego
I do believe we need a reporter for the sporting section of the news to properly record the goings and comings and inbetweenings of this honey hidey hole. IMO we have a very corrupt game warden and the public should be made aware of the damage of one DLite.

JMHO

Is ok, now that the Blue dressed one has arrived and my old boyfriend Glen, y'all can do whatever you want. I am feeling no pain atm................just sayin...........*hic*..............*hic*


Oh my so sleepy.....................must rest here in this hidey hole stump. Watch that fire Ciego, please? *FFS we'll all burn down*

hmmmm looks around, scratches head, loads PV and is off hunting.

Starts to climb a big ol tree when all of a sudden...the distinct call of the tattletale echos through the fishin hole.

Yes the elusive tattletale when seen is very elusive making sure nothing can take what it holds in its posession and the smell OMG, They all smell of OMG and tootsie. When approaching this elusive mythical creation if you wish for a peacefull encounter woo it over with a bottle of Gents Jack and Mr. Walker

***emerges from the woods into the clearing of the honey hole...plunks brown paper bag full of Walker family relatives down on the log with the inebriated Ms. Bonniegirl who is currently drooling on herself while humming (horribly off key) the chorus to some jay z song...WTF?***

Madam! ***announced loudly...bonniegirl awakens suddenly and tumbles off of log, spilling bottles of joose from her bra*** May I take a moment to remind you that I am your partner, not your personal assistant, and not your maid, I must advise you to be a little kinder to this "dimwit" if you ever wish to see another Walker cousin....Don't think I can't do it....remember Uncle .........how we rescued you from Big Pat? Things can change very quickly madam...I hear Big Pat is getting out soon...wouldn't it be a shame if he/she/it were to "accidentally get your address? I see you still have the tattoo....

Anywhoo ***leans down and picks up package of blood worms, flashing her fantastic, real cleavage*** I'll take these, I'm about to cast a line of my own in this here honey hole... ***wanders off to find a good fishing spot on a mossy log...calls back over shoulder*** And Bonnie? The tootsie is mine!!!!

Why yes, Miss Bonnie did let me in on that secret!!
She actually even cleaned up a little spot for me! Its a few stumps down from hers. She can be such a sweet woman, hands full of great catches and always carrying around that brown bag!?!?!?! Did you know, she has about 6 ice boxes around her hidey hole, big ole' lock on em and all!?! Theres no way anyone can get into em, not even with a bolt cutter! I tried! (I was just curious as to what may be in there ) That "beware of dog" sign scared me a lil' as i went closer tho, making sure i was looking down to see if there were any bear traps or trip lines!

Since i was away in my hidey hole last night, fixing it up, making it "feel like home" and finding some nice hiding spots for all my catches, I will be spending the morn' trolling for some of these new species Ive been reading about. Got the line baited, a coffee in hand....YEP, ready to go!!

Welcome to the honey hole stressedout! Fish'n is always fine and boB & yssiM always have pot of Aunt M's waiting for ya on a cold morning. Just make sure to bring a brown bag from the state store for Bonniegirl (her bark is worse than her bite) and you are set. Watch out for that game warden though... Write you up and take all your Joose when you aren't looking.

Oh My!! Alot has changed here! You see Chris, Ive been casting my line at this fine honey....fishing hole since it was first discovered by the wonderful boB and his lovely partner yssiM, and never had to worry bout wardens! Just had to be sure to catch me sum tootsie when Miss Bonnie was passed ou....taking a much needed rest after all that casting. Alls i did was hide away for a few days!?!?!?! I mean, all these different species coming into the picture has worn me out, im getting quite confused now, i just dont know what new species i want to start with, therefore, what do i bait this line with?? I know i can never go wrong, they all taste so nummy, but to many choices is never a good thing for me! So, i have come to the conclusion, i must reel in one of everything! They have left me no choice!! If i get fined, well.....i get fined!

LMAO @ stressedOUT!!! Well there is no limit here in this fishin hole. Just make sure your live well is big 'nuff to hold them catches!

Aaahhh - Thought I had seen you a few stumps over, well then cast away! The lovely Ms yssiM cooked up a new species for me yesterday - Peaches & Cream! Cannot wait to land that one and I am ready to tackle the mail lady for my Tootsie, Cantalope, and Pumpkin Cappuccino.

For now I will puff away on my Caramel Cappuccino, OMG, and Aunt M's and keep my line wet... Wonder when Bonniegirl will wake...er... Sober... Um, get here?

*Pulls up in the truck with a hot steaming cup of coffee and a nice warm steaming vape, Ah chit this carto isnt working....Pulls truck over to rummage through PV box to find a new one.

While filling a new carto something catches my attention off in the distance, What a new species never seen before peaches and cream "I need to document this" places signs all over the area. "DO NOT HUNT PEACHES AND CREAM this is an endangered species and all persons found in possesion will be fined"

This just in from the Wardens Station. There is a temporary no fish order placed on the species "Skipping Stones" and Standard Resistance 510 Cartomizers have been temporarily banned until further Notice.

Anyone attempting to purchase or catch the Species or Hardware listed will receive a PM or Fine for molesting the wildlife

*comes trolling across lake and is spotted through the fog with bilge pump pumping liquid.......water?......... "couldn't be says to self, why the school of fish surrounding the where the liquid is hitting water?" ......... trolls ashore to greet warden Dlite........... opens storage compartment full of tackle boxes and 12V coffee maker*

"Sir Dlite what a delight it is to see you!" * as he hands warden fresh box of cartos, fresh coffee, and mysterious envelope while picking up litter* "That species?" "That has been around for ages some people thought it was a similar legend to Loch Ness Monster" ............. *knows he made Dlite think by the look on face and thinking the envelope may have worked*

"What about the bottles and litter?" asks the warden. *knowing he could never recycle and needs sterile bottles as does Dlite, but hoping to "Josh" (not the customer Josh) him and that the envelope works* "Well sir.....uh, we do our best to be fine outstanding citizens" ......... * body placed between warden and bonnie nodded off by log* "but we may have had a person or two drink....er vape just a bit too much"

*knowing full well he is personally guilty of above himself hopes that a vaping warden and the mysterious envelope, cartos, and coffee help*

*Dlite with stern look on face trying not to grin knowing 1st hand the pleasures of chain vaping* says......... "I'm letting you go with a warning this time, in return I ask that this not happen in the future and you clear one side of the lake for more fishermen....er vapers that would like to visit this respectable place"

*knowing he got off with a lot of vaper to the face goes to shake the limp body of bonnie*................ "Bonnie we cut you back from 12 to 6 MG but this is a problem, I don't want to have to raise prices on just you to keep paying off that warden. You know I'd never pass those costs off to other vapers but this is last time I'm picking up your fines and empty bottles."

*picks up remaining bottles and gets back in boat and trolls away off into the fog to greet new vapers at the other end of the lake*

(sigh) There goes the neighborhood! Danged vaping warden ruining all our fun... Vaping bans? Endangered species? Who this Dlite think they is??? This here is OUR fish'n hole (well... yssiM & boB's anyway)!

Bonniegirl... Past - WAKE UP! We got to "take care" of this Dlite, making trouble at the hole... Gonna take Ms Walker & your Tootsie if we don't do something!

***picking up the mess left behind by past poster "fisherman"***
Welcome mister .... you say? Moto... ahhh.. I must see your fishin license ..you see we have this game warden runnin around trying to get us in trouble... Likes to get paid off in JOOSE! Pull ya up a stump, and set a spell.. Happy to have ya...Fill ya a nice carto of some caramel capp, or M's coffee, and warm up by the fire..Plenty of fine specimen round here

stefon.......pull up a log and have a set a while...........here, got a cup or a can? Let me introduce you to my good friend Ms. Johnnie Walker.........Do ya like her blue dress? This is the.....uhmmm...the .everyday, YES, everyday dress.......Waitin round here ain't so bad if ya watch out for that mean ole warden, he is horrid........and so..........full of........ahem........he is full of B..uhmmm...bossiness! He is bossy.



Missy, I feel yer pain.tis the reason I prefer the plain alker women rather than those high maintenance and ..uhmmm....financially...........uhmmm...........draining.........MEN........like Glen, my ole boyfriend, tis nice for a while and all and is so smooth tast....uhmmm..talkin.Yeah, talkin but in the long run to just pee and it is gone?.....prolly not worth the trouble IMO.



Ciego..........that was a really heart warming.....*heart attack causing FFS*.situation. You couldn't find yer way to the lil peepee teepee? What a crying shame *for me*



That is MS Walkerto you esteemed warden. I see you sneakin round here stirring the pot..*and doing other stuff to the pot too*.....you are such an esteemed and respected warden for all you do to protect the wildlife * these fisherpeople are wild ones, they are*.and well we just don't know what we would do without you *in concrete shoes FFS*...would ya like a nice warm toddy? C'mon, set a spell and have a taste............no, there is nuttin but a lil Ms Walker in there. *and a bit of arsenic *



Here in this honey hole we got tate stores but I heard Bob has a secret shed of some good shine..........just sayin, if that is yer cup o tea..........Him and his ole friend Bill is running it, ain't been tapped many years, prolly good and "stewed" by now



Driver, jest the man I needed to see. I need a driver...........I do ......*remain calm, act non-chalante, not too excited, it'll scare him away*...Yes, I need a boat ride to the state store for some...ahem..supplies....pull up a log, have a seat and sit a spell *before I talk you into taking me to town* Have ya tasted the caramel capp? Tis the best around they say around these parts.
Here have a nice Tootsie vape, that is private stock...top grade A quality joose, it is.........good, huh?



*hollers back*.......Yeah Eeka the Tootsie is yours...*in your dreams it is*.........How is the fishin over there? Any bites?..........well, sometimes you get the fish and sometimes it gets you!.........*these Texans, everything is bigger there? What about the brains? This one is pea brained*.....*Hollers back over*.....Eeeka, look a nice man, a driver!............He has a boat and all.and he is nice.........no, he don't take paypal for boat rides...*FFS, does she get anything?*
So, Nice weather we're having here isn't it Driver?



dspin, pull yourself up a nice comfy log and have a seat a while. Know any old Hank Williams songs? Mark with the guitar is gonna play for us in a while............*where to heck did that picker go?*....dspin, you from round these parts? Done a lot of fishin? Yer net will sure get filled fine with some tasty catches here. Glad to have you round here. Got anything in that Coleman cooler?.was jest wonderin..........I was



Missy............He is over there up in a tree like a squirrel trying to get a nut..........I told him."silly squirrel, tricks is fer kids" and he looked at me all weird like.........He is trouble for sure.........I can smell trouble a mile away.....I can and he ain't much delight to me............no way, no how.



Stressedout so nice to see you *and your blabbin pie hole FFS*...been a while. It has...........was so nice of you to share ..........*all of my personal hidey business with the world*..where you been and all.............here sit on this log.........*yeah, the ones full of chiggers, think you're stressed now, just wait a few hours, ain't nuttin like a good case of chiggers to teach you about stress*..........here have a few fingers....nice weather, ain't it?



*dang glad he ain't tacklin me.....he's a big one he is* How ya doin Chris? Long time no see!.........how was the ride from Kentucky? Heard ya got some kinda fancy high falutin hoss race round there. Women wearing silly hats and sipping mint juleps and acting the fool around men in short pants and high voices. Over in South Jersey we just crack open a beer and saddle up and go for a ride down to the Delaware Bay..........course, we do know how to properly fish.........none of that sissy la la fly fishin stuff with the waders and the out and in and up and downs. No, we strap in a chair with a reel big round as that there tree stump and fight a good tuna or a drum..............to each his own....I suppose.



Who dies and left the game warden the king of who can catch what? I thought the fishin regs was written by the hatchery owner Bob? Is OK, got a nice surprise for this here bossy warden coming reel soon...........a nicely baited hook...just wait, more fun to follow after a few more fingers of by boyfriend Glen, I will have the nerve to bait him into my trap.



Hey .......*always wanted to call someone that*.welcome to the fishin hole. We call it the hidey hole, the honey hole or many other sundries of names.*it is a dang fishin hole FFS* Yeah, we got us monkey bread in all 4 seasons well stocked round here. Welcome!



EVERYBODY LISTEN TO THE BOSS HERE, HE IS A KNOW-IT-ALL SO AND SO

runs and hides in tree stump

*Whistle blows* **Punches out on the timeclock**

Backs up the old beater to the boat trailer on heads off to the lake for some good relaxing quiet time with my rod and reel*

*Remebers about that envolope that was given to me by that boB feller* *Reaches into back pocket and decides to open it, Tears open the top and looks inside*

*WTF is this, ah I know. Places envelope back into pocket and casts his spinner bait into the cove where a few big trees have fallen*

***loud rumbling sound drifts through the trees... Single headlight reflects off the water as the motorcycle pulls up to the honey hole***

Bonnie... Bonnie... Where you at girl? I brought the whole Walker family in triplicate!

*** sets box, whole case of Ms walker bottles on Bonnie's stump and scratches head***

Dang girl done wondered off - oh well, been a long ride on a cold day. Time for 3 fingers and a nice, long vape while I see what's bitting.

*** casts a line, fires up PV, adds a log to the fire and takes a BIG swig***

I'll just wait for her right here...

*peeks around hidey hole stump to look for that gawd awful Warden..........that wanna be policeman...........that carryin around a warning book fool.........notices he and that Kentucky chris settin their rods out and vapin quietly...carefully sets a leg hold trap at the entrance to the path to the wardens settin log........tippy toes up the path further to place a line across the path camouflaged with some brier tendrils and attached to a bucket of old smelly chum in a tree limb above the path.......tee hee..........quietly sneaks back to hidey hole with good view of the coming festivities....pours a few fingers of Glen and sits back.....reaches in bra for a bottle of tootsie........ooooohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyy.......where is it?......fishes under and around the sisters and grabs the bottle and plls out..........drips and leans back and draws on PV................*

*hollers over yonder*

OHHHHHHHH Warden DLite....................Yoooooooooooo Hoooooooooooo over here..............how are you? How's the fishin? Want a nice drink?

Beckons with forefinger and smiles

*this is gonna be good.....pass the popcorn and marshmallows, please?...ahem.......BWAHAHAHAHA*

Now Bonnie? Can you PM the directions to the hidey hole so I can pay you a visit?

*whispers loudly*
PPPPPSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT.................Libra.................over here..................no, not that way............over here......yoooooHoooooooooo.................over here.[/QUOTE]

** He extracts his face from the .....willow. **

(Gawd, I hate when I do that, but at least I didn't fall off the dock...again...

** hears the lady holler at the game warden **

(Shoot, didn't know she fished here. The readers of the PV Picayune will be very interested to know that the defense attorney is keeping company with Glen, Miss Walker and other infamous types. I'd know that sultry voice anywhere...

** He ponders rumors that Judge DLite is now moonlighting as a gay warden...no Ciego, that's "game warden..." **

And what is that Gawd-awful smell up the trail? It smells like the locker room at Our Lady of Perpetual Estrus Academy for Wayward Girls...

** His ultra-sensitive bloodhound nostrils detect other faint aromas...**

Oh, but I smell Tootsie! I've gotta find it and get myself a little vape. Bet it's that sexy lady sitting on the log over there, the one who's hollering... wonder if she's willing... to share...

I hope she'll offer her honor.

I'll honor her offer...

And all night long it'll be honor and offer...

<winks at the trembling ..... willow, but the tree is unimpressed...>

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Okay, move on over Smoking Bullet has arrived at the hidey hole with comfy fold out chairs for everyone. Yes, they all have the cup holder on the sides for Ms. Walker. Who by the way makes for a great match with Butterscotch bon bon! OMG you've got to try the combo; made for each other, what a great couple. For those of you who still want splinters in your ...., the stumps are still available; except for the one Bonniegirl has made smooth with her cheeks, don't go touching her stump or cheeks without her permission.
So unfold your chair, put your feet up and throw another log on the fire. Oh Ms Walker....come take a puff with bon bon.

aaahhhh Heck! Where are my hip waders? Its getting mighty DEEP around here lol...

Ciego! Watch out for the trip wires and bear traps on the way to Bonnie's stump - ya might want to go the long way around.

I found me a prime spot here on the other side of the pond, hooked 3 nice looking species and waiting for their arrival.

***picks up a loose bottle of Ms. Walker in the black label...erm...dress, takes a swig....plotting revenge against this cantankerous battle axe bonniegirl***

who does she think she is anyways! It was enough that she insulted me and called me dim, but when she brought Texas into the fray she opened up a whole new can of worms, and I don't mean the kind you catch yummy fishes with...
I'll get all the tootsie for myself...I'll develop a special tootsie bait....and I'll call big pat....oh yes ms. bonnie....you will rue the day you sullied the name of texas...rue it I say!!!

***cackles maniacally for a moment...looks around....sees people staring...goes back to fishing quietly***

Gotta watch out for that game warden though...I hear he has connections in the high court....

Update again: It wasn't a carto. It was a HUGE mega atty with polyfill, which turned out to be burnt. I tried direct dripping without the fill, but ended up wearing more KBV Caramel Cappuccino than I vaped.

Brushed tongue, drank club soda, ate a soda cracker minus salt, then went back to the Strawberry Slice Cake, original atty. No more burnt taste.

Holy Hannah! I can not only taste the fresh strawberries, I can actually taste the cake and cream.

Okay, what planet are the KBV'ers from? This stuff is inhumanly delicious...can't be from this planet.

** Peers around fishing hole...well, as well as he can peer around anything...***

Pssst! Ladies.... Court is back in session in a courthouse located in another thread. The Gay Warden...excuse me, Game Warden has put on his Justass of the Piece robes, has banged his throbbing little gavel...and one Angry Amy is seated at the defense table, currently without counsel. If it wasn't for the fact that I am a doppleganger, I wouldn't be there too. I'm reporting the trial (de-wicking, dontcha know) for the PV Picayune... and you ladies had better put aside yur squabbles and get back to the swing... I mean, back in the saddle...no wait... You know what I mean.

Poor Amy. And the Judge is really PV'ed.

*Punches in for the shift and takes a look over notes*
......Strange smells on lake trail........
......Strange activity in Hidey Hole........
......Bonnie smiling........

*Packs up truck for a long night of investigation. PV's charged, Joose loaded and a few extra bottles, New pack of cartos and my fav drip tip. List complete alright i'm ready to go*

*Phone rings* "Hello......Oh what issues do you have with Ms. Bonnie.......Shes just a harmless little vaping tootsie black labeled sweet heart that has a mean bite.......Oh ok well I wont......in a few days to get all information......*Silence on the line*

"Well thats something else I aint never herd of someone tryin to land a....Oh nevermind they will find out very soon"

*sets auto timer on 12V coffee maker in boat for morning in hopes that the aroma of Auntie M's coffee rolling across the water in the morning has subliminal effect if game warden appears due to lack of coin for another mysterious envelope* "WTH brown bags and bottles again?" he says to the passed out fishermen with bells on poles and lanterns dimming.......... *tosses bags and simmering red coals and ignites a flame for light* "fishing line all over the ground FFS!" ........ *thinks about Ciego and the limbs and ligh bulb goes off*....... "I'll use this line to hang limb lines tonight" ............ "what to use for bait" thinks to self. .. "That sneezing girl what's her name Chu said something about a can of worms"

*baits limb lines with can of worms and heads off to bed on the comfy chairs by smokingbullet and sneezing girl Eeekaa Chu*........ "God bless you, good night"

***nose twitches from the smell of Aunt M's coming from the fire... Stretches & yawns - gets off his stump and strolls over to get a mug***

Morning all!! Time for a cup and some chat...

*** sips some Aunt M and puffs away on fresh batch of Caramel Cappuccino.***

*awakens with a ......uhhhmmm.........a.....uh, SINUS, yes sinus headache..........fishin around in bra for alka -seltzer.....finds and opens with teeth and drops in a few fingers of icy Ms Walker in red dress........drinks quickly and sqashes face with lemon tasting fervor and shakes head and shivers........OMG.(NOT the joose this time).that stuff is Gawd awful..but works..for the hang..uhhmmm..........sinus headache , or it has before.when I had the sinus problem, which is often and is becoming a chronic condition.. (note to self:
Self,
Call a physician to get advice about this chronic sinus problem
Thanks as always,
Self
well now that that is taken care of...............health comes first......onto my other duties. Checking this hidey hole and fishin hole for tom-foolery in the night as I arise early and looking for signs of baiting and luring. Must also check traps set for the bossy warden know-it-all..ugh, he is horrid........he is. Arrives at trap area................hhmmmmm fresh truck tires with a used carto stomped like a ciggy .... next to door area......hhmmmm, must have gotten out of the traps, but how? Walks up the path to find the leg hold trap with a fresh tree rat with eyes rolled in back of head and a smirk on face......hhmmmmm ....has look of post coital satisfaction on face, perhaps the culprit of the earlier p0rn scene with his com padre...uhmmm.....partner........walks further to find chum bucket emptied and lines from tree branch to water.....*

Dang nab it..........these dim wits foiled my plans as all could have been rid of this horrid warden. The honey hole is filled with delicious species and all keepers and look at this. *pulls briers from hair and hose and smooths blouse and tucks all body parts back in proper garments* I must find that DRIVER dude for a boat ride to town to see what recourse can be taken against this tyranny and stop by a friends store to inquire about a cooler he has for me with double locks. That Chris from Kentucky is so dang slow and after all the invites that mark with the guitar never showed up for a Hank Williams song and many invited guests that I remember never did......or did they?.*sniffs underarms....UGh..........HHHhhhmmmmm maybe THAT is the reason.a sprinkle a day helps keep odor away? I don't think a sprinkle of arsenic could help here...finds some whole bean coffee in a can and rubs all over underarms and other "closed areas that could perspire".and re-sniffs........what an idiotic idea....ugh.......did someone clean their fish near here, looks around for a carcass, innards or scales..............none!..........hhhmmmm......what to do? removes clothing and puts large piggy that went to market in water to end of toenail.EEEekkkk.........mucho frio........cold as ice....turns quickly and scratches left sister with brier limb......replaces clothes and adds many items to bra for safe keeping and grabs blackberry to GPS nearest motel with running warm water....UGH.....These sinuses, make all things spin and head throb and well...it is horrid*

*Stomps off looking for a driver or a boat to hijack*

** Stretches and yawns. Tries to push away the enveloping branches of the ..... willow. ***

Well, at least I didn't fall off the dock... again...

** Fills atty with Caramel Cappuccino. **

Ah! My taste buds are back. Apparently a good night's sleep and a fresh mug of Mexican Altura did the trick. * puff puff* I love this Caramel Cappuccino. Dee-licious.

** Wanders around confused as always. Falls off dock... again... Sploosh! **

Aw, crap. When Bob invited me to wet an atty or carto, I don't think this is what he meant. Damn, this water's cold.... deep, too.

** Climbs out of fishin' hole, rummages for towel. **

Actually, that icy water is kind of refreshing. However, it gave me a Minnesota sex change. I now have two navels...

*trolls lake in the early AM checking to make sure all is calm*

*pulls up next to the hidey hole to see everyone waking up, I got something to wake these peoples up fully*

*Pulls out a few bottles of old (PV) found laying around and decides to start throwing them around to see how many people I can catch*

*Trolls away laffing*

** holds out towel and freshly filled PV of caramel cappuccino to Ciego**

Take care on that dock... Your gonna scare all the fish.

Have seen Bonniegirl around here? Every time make a brown bag delivery that lady is gone! Brought more Ms Walker, but she needs to Kay her tab at the state store or she is cut off.

Time to cast another line - go dry off by the fire Ciego.

I know how to get Bonniegirl's attention!

***pulls out a fresh bottle of Tootsie Rolly and fills a nice, clean atty -,starts puffing away***

Wait till she smells that!

"For crying out loud!" ....... "Now not only do I have to mix 12 hours today to get caught up I have to install rails on the dock in this frigid cold!" ........ *passes out cups (coffee cups because apparently Ciego has no need for the other type for quite a whiile)* ........... "Good morning guys' *as he tosses a few small twigs on the fire not thinking the visual of small twigs may cause Ciego to have twig envy* ..............................."someone said something about berries who was it I can't remember" he asks

*strolls up into the hidey hole, Hey guys how is everyone this morning. Good I hope hears something to bring you around this morning.*

*Hands out bottles of Twig and Berry* *Smiles and slowly walks away back to the boat as that Ms. Bonnie isnt around, I heard she'll be back she always comes back*

Now wait a minute!!! Keep your twig to yourself! Don't be doing that to poor ole Ciego! He already burned his nose and lost his twig, berries and all - plus that danged .....willow keeps attacking him day and night!

And who was it pelting us with that PK earlier? This is a respectable fishing hole!

*** reaches over and grabs his bottle of Glen and pours 4 fingers into his coffee mug grumbling about abuse of power by elected officials... Offers bottle to Ciego & boB***

Wish Bonnie would hurry up and take care of the lame, I mean game warden!

Oh no I've got something instore for everyone down at the hidey hole and once that bonnie lady shows up bam right into the hands of.............Oh nevermind she will find out soon enough. they've been watching you like a hawk, Like Ceigo watching himself fall into the water.

*peeks around tree stump for lookey look purposes.........nice to know what your gettin into...tis......sees a fire glowing with that Kentucky slow poke, ole hard of seein ciego...WTF? He is all wet and his ............OMG (NOT the Joose this time)........his socks!..............OMG(NOT the joose).......the odor...........the lingering fishy, swampy wet dock and fire smolderin smell............won't be long before his toesies are burnt up, the socks is ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*scurries over to the fire and in usual tattletale style...blurts out.....*

Howdy all....Hey Ciego, your socks is on fire, nice shirt.........ahem..........did ya know you have an eel worm in your pocket..........oh, It's not?........OOOOOoooohhhhhhh........
*Ciego runs toward fishin hole and is acosted by the infamous ..... willow branch of stranglin death......mumbling and cursing heard from afar.somethin about the dreaded chlorine gas and ego batts and another thing about a hippy dippy chippy somethin.
Hey Chris how is ya? I see your movin slow this mornin *as always*...How's that motorbike of yours? Hey..........is that a case of the Walker family? Did I ever tell you I was a defense attorney before I took up to this fishin hole? Yep was over in the other side of town............yes, over the tracks, the good side..........*so they say*.........some mighty good folks on that side of the tracks that was needing a good defense but well Ms Walker and I so adore the wide open air of the hidey hole fishin hole and the Kick bass way of life. Tis a simple *in the head* sort of life ya Know?...Fresh air, good clean fun.......*well all except for the lack of proper shower and toileting*.........good fishin, fabulus catches and well......when ya meet a man or a woman here, they is just plain real, Ya know?.Here, I will hold that bottle of Glen for ya..........as I was a sayin.........is a nice place. Did ya know that htere Warden used to be a judge over yonder, don't know fer sure if'n he is still hearin cases.*but I seen him down a few in his day*..........you need somewhere to store all them fresh bottles of your latest catch? I got plenty room right here near my bosom, safe as can be. Be glad to hold em for ya..Yes, thats nice....all 16 can fit, yes...........*OMG (THE joose), KBV bar, Strawberry pie, snickerdoodly, OMG (not the joose) he has em all all the catches, he does*.Yep, I keep em safe for ya..............well, gotta run off and find my ole partner Eeka and see if we can find stressed and Smokin and Mark with the guitar and dspin and yssiM and of course Bee Oh Bee, the man of the hatchery.........got loads to *vape.....teeHee*.do today................Toodles...................bah Bye............

*scatters off before the sucker realizes he has been scammed with Glen bottle under arm*

*peers over at Ciego........*poor fella*.all wet and cursing and nursing a burnt nostril, and now a burnt pig that went to market*

*slips off to hidey hole*
*whispers*.....PPPPPpSSSSSssssttttttttt Libra.....ohhhhhhh Libra...over here..............

That Bonnie thinks she's slick lol... What she don't realizes is those are the twig & berry and PK bottles that lame... I mean game warden was throwing around! She think I am gonna let her near my stash of KBV or Glen? That was an empty Glen bottle full of leftover coffee!

*** reaches under stump and pulls out his tackle box of KBV and a fresh bottle of Glen***

Ol Bonnie is fun for a party, but not real bright. Hey Ciego... Get out of that ..... willow!

*Tip toes around the trails surrounding the Fishin Hole and watches in amazment to see the F.B.T.C setting up a sting operation to entrap bonnie and extract what tootsie she has on her person*

Slowly backs up and trips over a wire* Now HTH did that get there. *Picks self off of ground and brushed off the dust and leaves*

*Looks around to make sure no one seen the fall and cuts the wire so no one else falls over it*

*Climbs up into tree stand ready to watch the Federal bureau of Tootsie Confiscation take down one notorious Bonnie tootsie controller*

Wanders in to the campfire , drawn by the light from a dark woods. I have been hiding my secret all to myself but it is dark and I need the light. Still I cannot , should not tell, I am Auntie M coffee juice connoisseur extraordinaire . No one here ? Good! I can enjoy my fantastic vape and the fire in peace. I had begged Bob to create the perfect coffee vape for me and I am not telling anyone!

It is so good ! So many venders make foo foo coffee, u know the kind, capachino, frapachino , chocolate chino , chino chino chino! I dont want a chino! I wanted a plain strong black coffee vape! It is almost all I vape all day every day! So hard to find !
Ok so after so long vaping I am picky, so sue me ! I like it , it is like a brand for me !

I know if they come back the despicable Bonnie will try to swipe it too ! Wait!! What is that I hear in the bush? Is is an animal?
OMG Bonnie what are u doing there? Libra!! Oh NO !!

Bonnie dont drink that ! NO! Uh Bonnie ,,,,,, is that a bear behind u???? RUN!

*looks through the fog of vapor and sees old friend* "Gil! how nice it is to see you! I got your PM and I'll respond to it when we get caught up from backlog" *goes back to stump......er hidely hole....er mixing what GTO and others are calling the best coffee around.* *as he disappears into the fog* "Gil! testing and sampling is near complete on the zebyco tobacco line have to send some for your thoughts" .......... *stumble through rest of message due to fishing line.....packaging tape on fingers*

The one the only AUNTIE M!!!! Sorry M They bribed me with rods, reels, PVs, Lures......you get the picture. *draws blank scratching for justification*...... " um but M.... I figured maybe you would be flattered?"

*knows darn well M waited months for the development of this coffee and that aint cuttin it* ... "M they get decaf ... I ah fool them" ............. *knows he's honest Abe decides to come clean* "M, it was only fair to share the secrete with them. Is there a coffee nearly as good, not to mention the price? I saved you plenty and I'll take it off the shelf before my auntie M will ever do without"

*figures he blew enough vapor in her face and best get back to packing and sending tracking*

*Sets out three bottles of D's Top Secret and awaits to see whom will take the bait* very few people have tasted the heavenly bliss and once they do they will be caught in a trap oh yes that ms bonnie will be in the hands of the Tootsie Confiscation folks and they can be on their way to extracting the tootsie monster that was once known as Bonnie*

***slowly opens eyes after a long nap on the stump by the fire... 4 more fingers of Glen in my empty coffee cup - takes a sip and looks around***

Where everybody go??? Bonnie? Ciego? Anybody still here???

*** spies 3 bottles of juice setting on Bonnie's stump... Goes to take a look***

Who's leave perfectly good Joose... Wait a minute! That's not a species from this honey hole... And why is that bear cuddled up with empty bottles of Ms Walker? Something fishy is going on! boB!!! Get out here... Something is smelling at your fish'n hole and for once it's not Bonnie.

I think Bonnie got herself ate by a bear!

Flame?..........why that is a lovely name...it is.........and well welcome to our little neighborhood..........we call it the fishin hole, the honey hole, the Kick Bass fishin hole, the nosey gay......uhhhhmmmmm.....GAME warden hole...........the Nutty hole and well we are all......................uuhhhmmmm..admirers of the hole.....uhhmmm...whole thing that is Kick Bass Vapor.........you will find friendly folks, good service, a few LOLs and a dang good vape at a reasonable price. You are a wise FLAME.........you are, now could ya come a bit closer? I am cold and so need a flame of fire to warm my bones.
The NC lady is on point, those are excellent choices and go quite well with any of the Walker family...........Uuhhhmmm, the Johnnie Walker family............The NC lady has been MIA, I am thinking maybe she has been hiding away with her KBV jooses and knows that Wascally wabbit of a warden is fixin to mess this all up with his noseying around and warnings and fines and even accepting bribes from Bee Oh Bee......and that is Horrid.....simply horrid...Anywho, welcome to our hole. Welcome back to the lady from NC.
On to a more personal note. Auntie M............THE auntie M...was HERE? Did anyone get her autograph? A picture with her or a piece of memorabilia?........*dimwits........all of em* Welcome Leelee and the wait will go fast, pull up a stump and you and your loved one, Deej can have a few fingers with us. Unsure...I am......uuhhhmmmmmmmmmm Unsure..........yeah, unsure.........if we have met.*pats hairdo, presses slacks with palms of hands and pinches cheeks to look more alive*.Is ever so nice to have you here.........you make a nice fit here,,*most are unsure which to order and well you are unsure and since you are unsure perhaps the unsure could come to you for advice since you have been unsure for a while and well..you have the unsure experience....those of us that ARE sure of the UN are prolly no help to those that are Unsure.....so if I make myself clear.we so need an experienced UNSURE person.
Now about this bear gossip. He was a nice bear........really..........only wanted a bit of a sweet honey vape and a swig of the Ms Walker and I accomodated.....not by choice of course...one will do whatever a big black bear tells one and also what he charades about. *Whew good thing all those slumber parties included charades, I would be dead*.He mauled and pawed a bit, but I was .Uhmmm..well..............a bit.......numb.............uhhmmmmm....a bit numb with fear, YES,,with fear! It was a tragic, horrifying experience *course not as bad as the eel worm or the smell of those burning socks, but close*
Welcome Slappy.......you nice ........uhhmmmm.slappy you. Welcome as well, nice to greet ya, nice to meet ya. Set a spell.

*Checks truck upon returning from placing the sweet smelling strawberry lavaflow out in that trap i set when.........WTH someone done ran off with all my duck tape*

"Now why would someone want to do with 10 rolls of my duck tape" *Scratches head* *Takes a toot of the Ego* ~Looks around to see if anyone is around, Not a one in sight where they go now~ "Hmmmm takes a stroll over to the hidey hole and looks behind the old rotten tree "Nothing" where is that bonnie passed out at I mean diggin for worms*

Not even a bottle in sight, Must be on another B DoubleE Double R u N hmmm

*Runs back to truck and grabs every bear trap and rushes back before anyone shows up. Places them around the site so not another bear has a chance to maul another vapor again. I hope that ceigo feller doesnt come and step in one of these things then he'd have to change his name to lucky* Places some Tootsie bait inside the traps and leaves back to the truck*

*Its almost quittin time and I for one am ready to hit the water and get my fish on without all these dag nabbit quiters botherin me with stink bait and evil plots*

*Drives off into the sunset*

YoooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooooo
Howdy down there........................Yeah you..* points down under the grove of stumps*..........You Kembial and Hey Granny! Have ya stopped that frettin? C'mon in and set a spell in the hidey hole.ull up a log, Flame will ....Uhhmmm......Flame The fire........yeah..Flame will keep us warm at the fire and me and unsure are gettin to know each other over a few fingers of Ms. Walker. Pick a species and put it in yer net and have a vape with us.
Welcome one and all to the Kick bass Vapor Hidey Hole orderin thread.where the warden ordwers, we order and Bob and Missy just work their .... off while we shoot the sheet.
Happy to have ya?

stefon..........is that a tree rat in your avi? Have you not read that I have PTSSED? I do and if you didn't read.......tis required reading........just sayin...........those squirrelly things are TREE RATS and they are shameless!

"My hair?" "Ahhhhh"! "Hey, dipface! Have a marshmallow. Have another! Dipface!" Oh Mitilda, Matilda where art thou? Oh wait a minute, I'm not supposed to know this kind of stuff LOL.

Hey Missy, wait just a minute there, no swatting by the fire. Swatting is back a younder behind those trees.

Not swatting...squatting.. LOL...you no cop a squat... Like sit on the log....Had to wrestle me in a biggun... I am tired

Well please forgive me for speaking wrong LOL cause here I was heading back to the hidey hole after a long day, holding my Rice Crispity treats for everyone and out of nowhere I get snapped, crackled and popped by some stupid traps someone has set out! Now the crispity is all smashidity because I fell on them and I don’t have enough to share with everyone! I need help getting these traps off my boots and my .... and I need some comfort! Sit for a spell….ahh no thank you, not for a while….I’ll need to get some pain medication in me first….Bonnie, where’s the nurse Ms. Walker?

Paging nurse bonnie....... Bullet, that is horrid.. simply horrid!

Yeah well, all I wanted to do is enjoy the evening, maybe roast some weanies...and if I ever find who put those traps out there I'll roast his as well...vape a little rice crispity or maybe some moon pie...but no! My butts was snapped by a trap, what a shame, a crying shame to do that to a great little .... like mine.

bullet...................In my professional nursing opinion....................WOW, you are a mess, I dunno what to do...............Vape you some Ms. Walker?


Dunno...................eeewwwwwwwwwwwww, must be bad if'n a nurse can't stomach it. I see you down there gto, scootypuf and that slow kentucky Chris and bullet..........sorry fer ya bullet.....guess you are gonna bite the big one.

Bullet..I heard it was that game warden feller!

Well then! Ahhha! Game warden huh? Well have I got a little game I'd like to play with him...I've got an idea, why don't we all show him how nice we are and invite him to his....I mean our weanie roast tonight? We can all...with the exception of me, why my .... stops hurting...sit around the fire and play truth or dare. I'm sure the warden has something he might want to share with us?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Get it steamin?


*pops back in hidey hole awaiting famous weenie roast*

Yea, yea, THAT'S IT! I need you, Bonnie ole girl, to be my Cyrano de Bergerac, the dude (or it can be a dudette!), that speaks for me! **hope I got the correct character reference needed....my history sux real bad!

"OMG" (not the joose) "Wiener roast? What time?"........... *plots possible barbecue pit on pontoon rib eye steak for game warden*

"WTF" (possible new joose) Bonnie can ya keep the drinking down til after the wardon leaves tonight?" .......

Warden? Warden? Where is he hiding? He got the invite right? I look okay right? I've patched myself up, put on new jeans...ahh a bit tight and just a tiny muffin top...but managed to get them zipped up while hiding in the bushes. Am I ready? Shush......everyone quiet. Got your weenie sticks ready? Now where's the warden....hey, put that stick down! Everyone act like normal...well at least try to okay guys? Bonnie, that means you too!

Okay, for people who want to order: I'm gonna do this to get back into BoB's good graces.

orders @ kick bass vapor . com (extra spaces added to address to foil spammers).

And speaking of KBV... I got a sample of Apple Pie from Bianca Montgomery as a PIF. She also sent me an atty which had *only* been used for this e-liquid. Strength is, I think low. Maybe 6 mg.?

I'm vaping it right now. Oh my goodness. They'll have to change the slogan to

"As American as KBV's Apple Pie. " Mom will understand, in time.

Here's the thing. Crust. And nicely done crust. It's tastes flaky, and if you've read any of my posts, you know "flaky" is my middle name.

On the downside, the apples are a bit overwhelmed by everything else. Except on the exhale, where the apple snaps your taste buds like a crisp Granny Smith. Oh man, alternate this with puffs of a cinnamon-vanilla ice cream e-juice, and you've got Hidy Hole A la Mode. Okay, a bad name for a variety of reasons, but stilll, I mean this stuff is delicious. Again.

** He wanders off into the dark, hoping not to fall off the dock... again...

*clocks out on the timeclock*

Jumps in truck and head out to the lake for some cat fishin*

No one will bother me now, trolls to the furthest most part of the lake. This place isnt accessible by any means but boat.

*Baits hook with some old chicken livers and casts out into the water, places pole down and takes a nice long toot on some strawberry lavaflow*

*reels up line guess nothing is biting even for a nice quiet night like this, no one on the lake, no movement around the camp fire* hmm scratches head maybe its because its friday and everyone is already passed out from the black label ladies running a muck within the camp.

*Goes and checks traps*

"Well they are mostly all triggered but no bear, hmm I wonder whom I caught not paying attention to the trail.

"Ahaaaa!" *comes stumbling out from behind the trees* "I've been waiting to see who set those traps, it's you..you.......you from California? Cool, so am I, where you from? Ahhhh I mean what brings you around tonight? And ahhh, ahhh, I don't run a muck anywhere, it's those other ladies, not me.....I'm not that way. *leans against a tree and takes a long, cool vape, exhaling into the night* "Why don't you come and sit a spell, warm yourself by the fire, it's Friday night and time to relax. Whatta got to vape tonight? I have some rice crispities we can share. They're a little smashed up....because someone placed traps on the damm trail!"

* sits down across the way observing through the fire, not quite sure what to think of vaping with someone who I caught in my trap as of yet.*

*Oh me i'm from the central coast in between LA and Frisco, I'm mighty sorry I reckon for catchin ya in my traps you see I was simply looking out for the well being of these fine fellow fisherman cause that bear is been around but I guess I did finally capture who was tryin to robb that bonnie lady.* ~I dont blame ya because of her that species called tootsie is almost extinct and we cant let that happen now can we.*

*hears noises in the woods, gets up to take a peek around and notices its the FBTC setting up camp*

*

*Sitting quietly watching him watch me….Frisco? Oh please! Dead give away he’s from the southern part of California. Uhmmm, hasn’t been a bear around these parts, now why would someone place traps around our hidey hole?...…raising one eye brow closely watching him watching me* So you figure someone is out for tootsie do you? Do you think Bonnie can’t protect herself, is that what you think? *Or is this a ploy to distract attention from himself…..ummmmmm* I guess you’re a tootsie kinda guy huh, like chocolate do ya?

*hmm gazes through the flickering warm orange flames back at her, I do think there is someone after the tootsie and I know ms bonnie can defend herself but only when standing straight and not laying behind her stump with fine dressed lady at hand* Me i'm a cinny minty fruity kinda vapor but if the right chocolate comes along then hey i'm all for it too. *

*Wonders where the rest of em are, its not like them to not be anywhere in sight with the warden sitting around their fire*

*Cinny, minty huh? “If the right chocolate comes along…..” Something is smelling a bit rank around this camp fire. Why would the warden come around on a Friday night knowing no one would be here? Ummm….maybe to try and find Bonnie behind the stump, reach under her to get her tootsie?.....ummmm. OMG where is Bonnie? What has he done with her?*
So, what brings you to our hidey hole this Friday night so late? Are you looking for something….I mean someone?

* who me no i was out in ma boat and seen a fire goin but didnt hear anything or anyone so I thought i'd stop by and check to see if everyone was ok and to also check on my traps*

* Is curious to find out why this one invited the ever so hated game warden to sit down and now why is she pickin my brain*

*Stands up to stretch and cool off a bit, that fires mighty warm dont need my joose bottles melting*

*Ummm, looks like the warden is getting a little hot under the collar.* Getting a bit warm there are ya? Sit back down and share some of my warm sugar cookies. * Lean back in my chair, stretch my legs out towards the fire, take a long vape and watch…is that sweat along his forehead? Looks like he’s getting a bit uncomfortable and nervous being here….my what a bulge he has in his pocket…wondering how much juice he’s carrying? Cinny and minty he says, ....he’s looking for tootsie, I know he is*

*Pulls out radio to listen* *Reports of bear sighting down a ways by ol boB's cabin*

*Jumps off log and runs over to the boat and takes off across the water* *SHouts back across the lake sorry for the quick exit bear sightings are no joke specially when Mr. KickBass's property is at stake*, * he pays me very well to watch over his cabin while away and I cant let nothing happen to it, I just hope he didnt leave that snickerdoodle and carm. cap out again for the bears to think its real food instead of his vape*

*Wheew that was a close one for a second there I thought she was gonna find out I sent that bear into the hidey hole*

*Hummm, made his escape…..this time. Bears, there’s no bears around here. Seems the warden’s traps aren’t working cept to catch unsuspecting ladies like me…or was it Bonnie he was after? Oh no!...He’s not after Bonnie, he’s after Missy and the recipes! If he can’t get her he’ll…..he’ll confiscate all our joose!
He’ll get to the cabin and make it look like the bears got to the snickerdoodle! He’ll tear the place up looking for tootsie…......gosh....sure is dark, and so quiet, and the fire is so…...so warm…and…I’m…so…tired…. yawn…..where’s my blankie….yawn…so tired……*

I have a question................ahem..................now this tootsie situation..................it is .uhmm.........well...........it is ........uhhhmmmm..........well, I know you sent me fine specimens and large ones too............I believe there were three?...oh, OK.....there were four.....and well......they are gone!..........*OMG(NOT the joose).....How to live?..........How to vape?.....How to BE?*.............speaking of....*ok, was thinking of but WTH*..... Bee, where is that ole fisherman?..............I just tasted a specimen from another fishin hole and OMG.........(Not the joose......tis more of a disgusted tone)......I now know how a "cookie" can be made with sweaty socks and how it would taste..*vomits in mouth*...ahem.........sorry for the lack of civility but sometimes bodily functions are oh so involuntary.....they are!.......Now, warm sugar cookie is a COOKIE........it is not a sock or any type of footwear, it is NOT a acidic ball of mess...........it isn't, it is a ....UHmmmm.........ahem..........it is a ..........sugar cookie.......and it is warm and definitely NOT a sock.........just sayin.
Ahem..............I guess the question is about these here numbers Bee Oh Bee been posting about tracking...........is he talkin about trackin the bear or the warden or..........UUUhhhhhmmmmm.........IDK, amounts we fishermen vape of each species?.cause,,,,,,,,,well, I have had 4 ounces of Tootsie and it is gone......BUT, there is a good chance I was robbed!..YEP, Robbed!...*Hope they buy this load of carp*..and well I am tracking them new specimens and all the numbers is soooooooo fuzzy and tis so hard to focus and well the mail is soooooooooo slow to this hidey hole and I wanna make sure the markings was right.
bonniegirl
69th tree Stump on Left
Hidey Hole, Fishigan
696969
Could ya check on that one please.................It is a desperate situation and Fishigan is sooooooooo far away and the ....well.........I AM OUT AND IT IS HORRID..........SIMPLY HORRID.

Dear Madam Bonnie

As a senior partner (now semi retired) of the prestigious Law firm of Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait I can assure you that this missing Tootsie situation is NOT, I repeat NOT unique to you and is our top priority. Our firm is actively looking into this problem on behalf of several individuals and working up a class action lawsuit. When we have all the information we need and finalize our intensive investigation into these heinous crimes rest assured you will be notified.

Regards
Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait

*Hears rumors of a hidey hole lawyer* *Ah poop hope he dont catch on to me and this rental warden suit isnt for nothing*

Memorandum

January 15, year of our Lord 2010
To: Unsure Esq, attorney at Law *Unsure if her is the Fishburn, the Flounder or The Flutter*
From: Ms. Bonniegirl
Re: class action case of Missing Tootsie


Dearest Mr. I. M. Unsure,
In regards to the class action suit, I am UNSURE at the moment...............uHHmmmmmm.....well, no, YOU are Unsure, but I am ......uuuhhmmmmmmmmmmm.........well, I am ............just ....ahem........NOT sure *what to H. E. Double toothpicks* you are referring to. But, If it is about the LACK of Tootsie.....................Well.....................UUUhhhhmmmmmm..........count me................UHhhmmmm........Hell to the Yeah.
Thanks for the Help
Most Sincerely
Bonniegirl


*licks envelope and yells*

CCCCHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......hey Kentucky motorbike boy...............take this here letter over to that Mr. Unsure post haste.....*not in your usual dilly dallyin way FFS*...........Hurry and stop by the State store and pick up my order and no stoppin to shoot the sheet or eatin pie or dreamin about peaches or such other tom-foolery.

*runs back to hidey hole stump lookin around for ciego with the burned pig that went to market and poor poor bullet with the sore .... and all*

*yawn....wow...what a night...didn't get a chance to question the warden....fishie guy that he is....hummmm, wondering if boB is alright?*
Hey good mornin all. Bonnie, glad to see you're....whatta ya doing Bonniegirl? Get that thing our of your mouth! Don't lick the bottle....oh no, you're outta tootsie!

Bullet...............*sob and Boo and Hoo and sniffle and another Boo and Hoo*..........Yes, Yes............I thinks I was robbed of my Tootsie...............or else.......that rotten dirty scoundrel warden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has those beady eyes and OMG (NOT the joose) he is up to somethin, He is. I am sooooooooo sure of it. And well....................I am Tootsieless.........A woman without her Tootsie...........*boo and Hoo and sob and sniffle and another Boo*

*oh woe is me...........Oh woe is me........oh woe is me*

PUBLIC NOTICE:

We at Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait who are now on retainer and thus represent KICK BASS VAPOR want all to know that the preferred choice of theft by criminal burglars is not cash, jewelry, flat screen TVs, Fine works of Art nor (and as it is hard to believe) high priced angler fishing equipment but the priceless and heavily sought after exquisite one of a kind vaping liquids manufactured by none other than our prestigious client KICK BASS VAPOR. Now we have notified all local and state law enforcement agencies as well as the FBI, CIA and of course all of Homeland Security of this new threat. So we warn all owners of our client’s liquids be vigilant and take the proper measures to secure their safety…..and of course whenever possible stockpile a significant amount in case of emergencies.

Regards,
The Law Firm of at Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait

**runs and hides her KBV joose, locks them up in her safe deposit box, and possibly hire 24/7 joose guards!

*I look at Bonnie through teary eyes and feel her pain…..and mine; .... still hurts a bit from the traps.*
Not to worry Bonnie, we’ll be here to help through your withdrawals, you’ll make it through until the next delivery comes through, I promise you.

I caught the warden sneaking into camp late last night; he said he was here to check his traps. He was acting a bit suspicious when I caught him….hummmmm, I wonder if he was backing around when I found him?

I’ve never trusted him…..him and his lavender uniform, pink tennis shoes and his boat with ‘Game Warrdone’ written all over it. Just doesn’t seem right does it?

*I’ve been thinking about hiring the investigation firm, Howie, Stratagem, Doum, and Screwum but now that we have Fishburn, Flounder and Flutterbait, I won’t need to. Nobody snaps my .... with a trap and gets away with it…..note to self; need to take count of my carto’s, make sure none are missing. Need to hide my butterscotch bon bon as well. I recall the warden saying he likes sweets*

Wise choice...we have suits pending against Howie, Stratagem, Doum, and Screwum.

*Walks into the offices of Fishburn Flounder and Flutterbait and hands a nice fat envelope over to unsure and whispers something*

*Walks out of office and gets back into the truck, Takes off back to the lake where the daily fisherman should most certainly be out and about*

*Backs truck up to the boat launch and launches boat into the lake, Drives back up the launch and Puts truck in park, sets emergency brake and cracks the window because of this hot weather*

*makes a few calls before heading out, Trolls over to the cabin of one Mr. KickBass and leaves empty OMG and Tootsie bottles on door step* *Hopin that he will start a bottle recycle program and never hurt to show how much his brand of yummy goodness disappears*

*Umm Oh Oh pick me pick me I have a question, The lake hasnt dried up has it because it would seem that my stringer is empty and my trotline is coming up empty, could you explain this phenomenal occurring event, Its a tragedy I tell you simple tragedy.

*** Hides cheap bear suit under abandoned cooler. ***

Whew. That was close. Heard the motor as that so-called game warden came across the lake.

Yum! Look at all this Tootsie. And it's now mine, all mine. Those vapers have no idea with whom they're contending. Heh heh heh.

** Frantically searches for PV, only to find his Pocket Pal. **

Wow. This is even better than the Popeil Pocket Fisherman. It looks more like a Cap Snaffler. But where's my missing Ego?

** Continues to search frantically. **

All this Tootsie, and no PV!

** Uses nearly-forgotten Boy Scout skills to construct a PV out of some twine, a napthalene-fueled hand warmer, an old tin cup and a steel wool pad. It promptly catches fire. He opens a bottle of liquid and pours it on the burning makeshift PV. The jerry-rigged device immediately explodes in a large ball of flame. **

Aw, crap! I used the PGA instead of my canteen full of water.....

** Furiously stomps flames. His Boy Scout pants catch fire. **

Aw crap! Looks like I need to fall off the dock....again. Go Go Gadget Fire Extinguisher!

** Pulls 40 pound canister fire extinguisher from pack and promptly extinguishes the fire. **

Only you can prevent Tootsie Fires. Wow, smells like hot brownies....

*Sitting on the shore soaking up some sun....notice a boat heading out to KBV's place....hey, that's the warden....what's he doing? Pick up my binoc's to take a closer look....yep there he is...what did he just leave at the door?.....it's empty bottles....it's empty tootsie bottles!!!! but, but....he's a cinny, minty flavor guy....where did he get the tootsie bottles?* ......Bonnie! Bonniegirl! Where are you, come quickly, you've got to see this........!

*This just is from the lake owner*

OMG is now being placed on a Endangered Species List as very few currently exist so get them before they are all fished out and the lake is restocked*


.............Warden Gar McPike...............

* Trolls back over to the dock and hands Ceigo a envelope and his ego*

*you dropped this yesterday when I gave you that bear suit*

*What's that smell....someone cooking brownies on the campfire? Must be the campsite down from us....yep, I see smoke....silly campers*

Whew... that was almost a weenie roast. ** Changes out of singed Boy Scout pants, which he then rolls into a ball and burries under the abandoned cooler. Standing near the ..... willow, clad only in his black silk thong and a KBV T-shirt Rummages in pack and finds a pair of Zubas. ** Wow! haven't worn these since 1989...


*** Finds missing PV in waistband of black silk thong.***

I really need to get back to the computer so I can write a review of this Strawberry Slice Cake.

It's so good. And I'm not a big fruit vape guy, but this stuff is fantastic. I think it's the subtle pound cake flavor. Lots of vapor, and a solid throat hit.

But it still smells like hot brownies around here.

** Places purloined Tootsie into the abandoned cooler. Carefully writes a note: "This cooler does not contain any alcoholic beverages...." **

(Damn right it doesn't. All the everclear went up in a ball of all-consuming fire....)

** Wanders off in the woods, heading for the closest Greyhound station, some five miles up the old washboard road... **

**It’s a beautiful day, I shouldn’t be sittin around…need to walk off my sore ....….maybe I’ll take a stroll…..take in the surrounding sites… need to find a place to hide my carto’s and juice, just in case the warden comes around again looking for different flavors. Can’t take a chance with my skippin stones…no one knows I have any…not enough to share, and my butterscotch bon bon is runnin low. Set off for a walk…..*

*Music plays in the background as bullet walks away* ~I walk this lonely road down the boulevard of broken dreams*

Update from the offices of Fishburn, Flounder and Flutterbait:

In in all it's investigational efforts to help apprehend the dastardly criminal matermind behind the Tootsie thefts....and with no fresh leads the firm has hired one of the worlds top physic who is now working on the case. So far she is seeing the letters W. A. R. Not sure what the letters mean but we are confident that we are closing in on the quilty culprit. As news happens we will keep you informed.

Regards from Law offices of:
Fishburn, Flounder and Flutterbait

Well, well.....................a psychic....................Hhmmmmm............unsure.........uhmmmmmm(NOT the lawyer) how I feel about them feelin around with the brains and talking to the ghosts and sniffing out the secrets and all that other noseying around they do...Noseyin around is..ahem...........well.....it is ....uhmmm.......well, it is NOSEY.....it is. *OMG(NOT the joose, they ain't got none anywho) .what if this noseyin psychic person finds out about my especially "close" relations with the Walker family .......or whether about the time I went to the state store in my underdrawers..was an honest mistake with the menopause and all, one could forget to dress and all.....was just an honest mistake after all*...I don't like highly this here idea of a psychic person......... .psyching around here........no indeed, no mind reading charlatans fer me , no sireeeeeeheee.



Now don't Y'all let these here words from passerby pass you buy. This is one smart passer...........uhhhhmmmmm buyer..........passerbuyer..............Truer words was never spoken.........NEVER, these is fine words for some fine people at a fine price and it is mighty fine joose. Don't take my words in passing, just look at this here passerby..........I mean was just passing by and look ..passerbyeus is no longer passing by us here at KBV...........Never has passed us by here at KBV and seems as though is NOT a passer by to us any longer.........I hope this is clear that passerbyeus no longer, nor ever was, a passer of going by us and prolly never willl pass us by ...........this is his/her own words.......or what I get from his point here...........just sayin..........if someone, anyone was by nature a passerby and is now ..........or never.......... passing you by........well.....NO ONE should pass by this joose...Them are true and fine words from a person that knows how to pass by bad joose and bad service.................I vouch for this statement and ain't had no Ms. Johnnie Walker in near a whole day now.*ever since that bear dream..or was it a dream?* Met this friend named Bill and he has 12 steps up to his place.......gonna give him a once over and say poems and sing kumbaya.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*As I merrily stroll down the shore, in the distance I see the warden’s boat. I look around cautiously through the trees…where is he? Why would he be leaving his boat unattended at the dock? Huh…smells like something’s been burning around here….. I slowly approach his boat, looking in every direction…where is he? I wonder what he’s got hidden in the boat…..carefully lean over…wondering if I should loosen the 2 motor mount screws….nahhhh, hey…what’s that brown paper bag near the seat? Could it be the warden is partaking in liquid libations while on duty? Better check it out…..opens the crumbled bag only to find bottles of juice! Ummmm no label juice….open one bottle…oh yuck, smells like stinky gym socks, what kind of juice is this…..none of this could compare to KBV juice….no wonder the warden acts the way he does…I chuckle to myself. Was about to throw the bag of juice back near the seat when it dawned on me….this juice isn’t fit to vape…..opened the gas tank and emptied all the juice into the gas tank….this will teach him…..hahahahaha, next time he takes off he’ll be stranded in the middle of the lake….that’ll teach him. Then I think to myself, Bullet, that’s not a nice thing to do….but what the heck, I’ll do it anyway…..
Bullet strolls back to shore and to the hidey hole feeling guilty but content...she'll ask for forgivness tonight in her prayers...*

I’d like say I too am somewhat shock that the firm would rely/hire a psychic instead of old school boots in the field hardcore investigation. I mean really, all that money for W.A.R.D.? She belongs in a ward….and her last vision was a BEAR…REALY A BEAR!!! Anyway I still have influence at the firm though semi-retired and had this so-called psychic terminated. Jeezzz what game is this…WARD, BEAR….where was that getting us?View attachment 27613 That kind of waste of funds is what drives up premiums. The firm is back to gumshoe investigation and I can say we may have an inside undisclosed informant that will blow this case wide open soon!

Unsure, I am sure, not unsure of your abilities to be sure about this very unsure problem. Tis true the bear was after me and I am sure, not unsure, *not you, the surenesss* that Unsure *Yes You, the lawyer* will handle this investigation for sure ...uhhhhmmm.......not for sure .uhhhmmm...or for unsure.................just sure all will be shurely safe under the watchful eye of unsure *FFS change your name I am dizzy broad enough already*

*mosies over toward bullet and the fire*

Hey Bullet, How ya doin, did ya hear the warden dun blew up in the middle of the fishin waters? Dang same, his pink socks and jock strap was floating among the rice grass at the bank a while back. he was a nosey ole man he was . Always noseyin around these parts tryin to stir the pot and all and actin all uppity like he owns all the specimens around here and vapin on that lava vomit or whatever he called it........prolly somethin he caught over at the sewage treatment facility..........at one of them misty, stink bomb fishin holes. Serves him right.............My grandma, god rest her soul in he.....well..wherever she is.she was as mean as a junk yard dog, meaner than a hornet, meaner than a fox without a hen house, well.she was just mean..........but gawd I loved that mean ole broad, she weren't afraid of nuttin or nobody and could watch 36 bingo cards at once and keep track of my old aunt Elsies four cards too.........she used to say, "Bonniegirl, you got a mean one? If'n you do, leave em enough rope and they will surely hang themselves. She also used to say, "ya reap what ya sow.
I really don't know why I am a tellin you all this cause I forgot what all we was a talkin about.

Pass the marshmallows, I got a hankerin for somethin sweet.

*leans back on a mossy log and crosses feet and whistles a tune sounding close to Dixie but a bit off key and a few notes missing*

Gosh Bonnie, that's too bad bout the warden, how did it happen? *Bullet reaches into her pocket and brings out a bottle of butterscotch bon bon*...Here you go Bonnie, this will take care of your hankerin, don't have much but we can share, shouldn't Ms. Walker come out to help us morn? I heard the warden was up to no good but for him to get blown up and all...wow, what a shame...you think he survived? Maybe he's just hanging on a tree top in his skivies somewhere waiting for someone to save him? Oh well, too bad, so sad, serves him right.

**Bullet sits near the fire, legs stretched out towards the fire ring, staring into the glowing flames…in deep thought. How could the warden’s boat blow up in the middle of the lake? It was nothing but crappy juice, his juice, she poured into the gas tank, and maybe he was mixing a high test on his own?

Bullet leans further back into her chair and sighs. Her brain surging with useless information...bears, empty bottles of juice… where was everyone last night…where was everyone today? Could it be someone was at the dock before me or after I left? What was that burning smell near the dock…brownies?...She notices the souls of her boots becoming extremely warm….**

Bullet ......you seen that kentucky slow poke Chris?........wonder where he be motorbikin this fine day?................hope he did not take it personal when I said he was slow...................I wasn't thinkin or meanin he rode the short bus or nuttin, just all the way from that Derby state and all...............was nice of him to reunite me with my ole boyfriend Glen Livet.was a nice reunion....*what I remember of it FFS*....thanks for that Bon Bon , ya know Bob named that species after me don't ya? HE DID....jest ask him or Missy, they will tell ya..it was cause I was sweet and I was nice and well I ..uhhhmmmm........*i snowed them good.teeHee*.....well, they was stockin this honey hole and was needin some names for their species and well I was here and all and I am a butterscotchy kinda caramelly girl and all and I liked it and all.............and well........*course that 2 bills didn't hurt either*......gotta go lock up all my stock and catches..this thievery is horrid............Keep the fire goin in case anyone drops by.............all is welcome here at the hidey hole and let em all know if they is wantin a sample of the species, I would be glad to share mine,.....................well, except for the tootsie that is .....That is ALL MINE!

*walking toward hidey hole stump and stumbles over a bear costume???????????????WTF???????????...............somethin is very very fishy round here.......it is.*

*looks around suspiciously and listens for unusual sounds..ears perk and hears a whistling noise*

Hey Bonnie... Got you some more Ms Walker! Sorry not been at the fish'n hole, but Mrs. Ky had me working on the Honey Do list... So, heard that lame...I mean game warden got blown up! Serves him right for stealing your joose and messing with all the poor people just trying to catch so prime species around here... Here - I saved this bottle of Tootsie for ya. I figured you might need it.

Welll I'll be....The Warden huh! Well maybe that nosy Psychic was on to something with her W.A.R.D. vision and if facts be known was'nt there a Bear suit found out in the woods. Not to worry Ms Bonnie there wont be no poking in your head anymore from that psychic. Case closed and that no good stealing polecat got what he deserved. The lesson here is plain and simple...no one should mess with Ms Bonnie's Tootsies....well at least not without her permisson.

*wakes up along the bank* *What happened last thing I remember was dropping off some empty bottles for the mix master and bam I'm watching everything take a trip sky high*

*Stands up and looks around where the heck am I, Starts walking around disoriented, I'll find the suckerfish that did this too me, I bet it was that crazy bonnie lady or that bullet and why, Maybe for the halibut. I'll never know with those bunch of Fisherman that can only catch a good hangover*

*I'll get my revenge if its the last darn thing I do*

Fines Fines Fines Fines Fines yes that will do more fines

BiancaMontgomery? Well I be darned.....in these parts? On this side of the tracks?............well is true..................why did you do this or that?.......same reason a dog licks himself..............cause he can!.Now pull up a log and have a seat by the fire and a nice vape of snicketydoodle...............thats it ain't it? You like....nah......love the snicketydoodle don't ya?
Here have a few fingers of Ms. Walker....................I will warn ya of a few "undesirables" around these parts.

*looks around before whispering in ear of old friend and warey of who will be overhearing*

Hey Kentucky motorbike guy.....How is ya.....thanks for runnin that errand for me...*thought it would be summer fore ya got here......*honey do my ....*

Bullet moves back from the fire…things are getting a bit too hot around here, a little sticky wicked. Too many questions to be answered…that and the souls of her boots are about to burn….but her feet are warm.

The crackling sound of the camp fire and the warmth of the flames seem to calm Bullet’s nerves and ease her mind….she’s in a comfort zone…remembering her past… as a fraud investigator….no one can know, she can’t let anyone know about her past. She could count her convictions with her fingers and toes, 20…no… 19…she had one toe shot off during a crime chase…..that’s the only one that got away….asked to leave the force…she knew too much for her own safety.

She knew the amount of juice in the wardens tank wouldn’t cause damage, at worst it would have him stranded in the middle of the lake…there’s something more here…something fishy….has a body been found? Anything wash up on shore? Her mind racing a mile a minute…she’s considering leaving hidey hole tonight…driving the wash board road into town to see what’s happening….maybe she can find some answers…..maybe someone in town has heard rumors……or facts…maybe she could get a hot shower, clean up, use a real commode without squatting…. get a decent drink….*

*wonders aimlessly through the woods searching for a way out, tripping over downed trees along the way.*

~Picks up a semi straight branchless limb to use as a walking stick, Walks throughout the night until just as the sun comes up over the tree tops, stumbles onto the trail~

Looks around but hey this isnt the same trail well it doesnt look like it anyways, could this be another trap to sweep me under the rug just as that motor explosion.

Questions questions so many questions

*pokes head out of hidey hole stump and looks around........all clear.....especially now that the corrupted, egregious warden is blown up........Hmmmmmm.........steps out of hole and stretches arms high*

Well, what have we here? A lovely morn.........the birds is singin like a musical chorus and the sun is a shinin and the air is crisp and fresh....*who am I kiddin.......ahem.........the smell is more like scorched wet dog mixed with socks, etoh seepin through unwashed skin in folds of skin that don't see the light of day and burnt marshmallows......this here honey hole sure has some good catches and all but man it ain't utopia or anything like it.*

Walks toward fire and drips some delicious KBV candy bar on V2 at 5 volts.*yepper, that GTO.....(the fisherman, not the car) knows what he talkin about......this here joose holds up mighty fine at any voltage.........has tried it on an ole stock battery and all the way to 7volts, jest fer a testin and it sure is a keeper*........This is a mighty fine vape on a mighty fine day........*readjusts all 13 bottles of KBV joose in bosom as when the bottles tilt does cause a pinchin ya know..........Ima gonna have to see if I caint locate that there plankton from that there square panted guys TV show and see if'n he cain't help me get the KBV secret recipe..........I could make enough to pay off that State Store guy and have some left for motorbike gas for that kentucky guy......HHhhhmmmm...is a devious plan and prolly not such a good idea cuse party told me that bee Oh bee can shoot a ..... willow right off the branch at 100 paces..........now that ain't nuttin to fool around with.............I best keep to me own business here at the honey hole and go fishin for some more specimens..........hope they got my numberin right on that address label so that witchy USPS lady finds me...............stump number 69th on the left at Hidey Hole, Fishigan, zippy coded at 06969..........ears perk*

Now who is this mosyin up the path?

*scurries back to hidey hole and peeks out*

*hears the word blind and thinks about Ciego? Is he having one of his used to be extremities extracted?* "Well heck GTO if you can catch 7 keepers without looking, I'm Unsure that I shouldn't be angling without someone like you" *goes back to filling and taking orders thinking game warden better not see that*

If you haven't got enough line.....er posts to PM me to order, cast a line to orders@kickbassvapor.com

** Ciego gets off the Grehound and walks back down the Ol' Washboard Road toward the lake. **

Sure glad I changed out of the Zubas. People were laughing at me all around the bus station. I have returned, now wearing crisply-pressed khakis and a forest green hunting shirt from L.L. Bean. (Well, actually it's a knockoff by L.L. Lezbean...or is that L.L. Has-bean)?

*** Smells the lingering scent of burnt brownies wafting through the woods...**

Wow! That little "accident" must have been a lot worse than I thought.

** Sniffs around for signs of human life.... **

Good! They're all out fishin'. I can stealthily make my way back to my campsite and tap into some of the juice that game warden and I have so carefully ripped off...er, borrowed...

** Searches for cooler. ***

Hey! <angrily> Somebody has stolen my stolen (er, borrowed) KBV Juice!!

** Pulls out PV and drips in some juice obtained from an outfit called Toxic Steam dot Com. **

I've heard this is pretty good. The flavor is called "Rancid Gym Socks, and I must say its taste is very true to its name.

** Throws atomizer in disgust into the woods. **

I'd better go fishin' for something I can enjoy.

** Puts on a lure that an old fisherman gave him. ** Yep, Old Clem promised that this one would catch Tootsie by the boatload.

** Casts, promptly buries treble hook in his own buttcheek.**

Aw, crap!

**Wanders off in search of first aid, falls off dock. Again. **

*** climb from bike after long ride from the Bluegrass State and stretches... Takes a deep breath and starts to cough.***

Bonnie??? That you? Has ta been... Know that aroma anywhere.

*** unpacks tackle and brown bags - place more Ms Walker at entrance to Bonnie's stump***

Time to see what we can catch today! Now where is that new super vape master shining spinny ultra lure I got from the tackle shop? Got to catch me some more big uns before that bunch gets back.

*** casts on a line and kicks back with 4 fingers of glen...

Wonder where boB got to?

*Walks aimlessly down an old trail in search of the civilization that blew me up*

*Finds an old riding lawnmower behind an old abandoned cabin* "Please let this work oh please" *Pulls the old cover that sits on top of the machine and turns the key that sits in the ignition and the motor starts*

*Hops on and takes off down the trail, this thing is fast almost as if someone has converted it into a racer*

*Travels down the trail tootin on my missyfied box mod, leaving a trail of thick vapor behind the mower*

*pokes head out of hidey hole after a long afternoon siesta and spies a brown bag and eyes light up like a christmas tree, like the fourth of July, like a heavenly host singing, like a shining star, like a ..ahem............a..uhmmmm..........answer to this throbbin headache........quickly crawls out and grabs bag, sits upon stump and pours a few fingers of the aromatic Ms. Walker*

Hey Ciego...how ya doin? Over here....YOOOOOOO HooOOOOOOO.........no, not there, that is a ............

*watches a soaked ciego in a direct line toward a huge oak tree and hears a loud bam and a few not so boy scouty kinda words*

Ciego? Ciego? Can ya hear me?........Don't be so grumpy, I knows you ain't deaf and that you is blind.........I was worried you was knocked out..........here is your jooses you dropped..........interesting flavor........"Gym socks?".wow must be full of undertones....IDK?.........Here set a spell by the fire and get yerself dried off.........*OMG(not the Joose) this dude smells rank......or is it that joose?*..........Here have a few fingers of my friend Ms. Walker, she will warm ya real nice.
Where was ya the last bit, Ciego? Was lookin for ya and you was gone. I believe the warden was blowed up in the fishin hole, shame ain't it? There is a shortage of stockin on the OMG (YES the joose) and all is a buzz round these parts about how well these catches is when put over low fires and high fires and the joose catch tastes just as nice at any heat, ain't that a real rarity in a species? Tis, I believe, I been fishin for good stock for about three long years and never in my life did I have such fine specimens..........That Mark was round here in the fishin camp and ain't played a single song for us yet on that guitar............had a fancy souped up GTO, was a real looker round here with a full cooler and some whining about not understandin from that PM woman, Yepper, blamin her misunderstandin Bob on me! Imagine that Ciego, me the scapegoat for the confusion. Know what my ole grandma, the one meaner than a junk yard dog, used to say? She always told me.let em talk about ya bad or talk about ya good, so long as they is talkin about ya. Yepper.............

*watches Ciego either pass out from concussion or from Ms. Walker but certainly not responsive*

*stands and mosies over to the campfire to see who all is around*

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Hmmm there is quite alot Im Unsure of and it could be because of my name, or too much hooch...or too much hoochies or the number of times I played football without a helmet but whatever reason I do have some major confusion concern Ms Bonnie. Now by her demeanor and her love of all things stronger than Mint Julip would lead a slow-in-the-head guy like me to believe she a southener....but I can see she is from Jersey?!?....oh...sorry my mistake...I see now its South Jersey.

** Ricochets off tree. Frantically searches for ego...not the PV, finds none. Embarrassed, he stumbles into the woods to answer nature's call.

As he begins to prepare for the act, a sudden break of wind is heard.

The T-strap of the black silk thong snaps whipping backwards like Lash Larue's bullwhip. .

Wind is again broken...

He falls over giggling hysterically. **

It's been one o' them days. First aid! I need first aid. Nurse Walker!



+

Juice report (how's *that* for a segue?) I have always dripped KBV juice. I'd only tried a bit of some KBV Caramel Cap as a top off to a mediocre commercial prefilled carto until today. Got a Kr8 megacarto filled to the slushy top with KBV Candy bar, and I'm vaping it right now. I'm wondering if I have a problem with the cart, or if it's the juice. The cart was brand-new when I started, filled using the condom method then blew out the center path, pluuged/capped the ends and gave it a +/-500
revolution Terrin (sp?) spin.

Then I got dizzy.

And fell off the dock...

Again.

*Cruises down the trail like a Silver Bullet in hot pursuit of the infamous blower uppers* *Finds an odd smell in the air, Its a subtle smell one of roasted .... lint and brownies. I must be getting close to the hidey, honey, fishin hole but why is it I dont hear anything.

*Stops and looks around for anything reconizable, Thats it thats the entrance to the Warden Death Zone, my truck is parked over yond that hill, I wonder if I can make it without anyone seein me*

*Cruising back to the hidey hole on a clear and beautiful night, staying at speed limit, in no hurry…savoring 2 days of Bed and Breakfast and Spa treatments in town. Extremely friendly and informative people in town, amazing how much information they’re willing to divulge for a shot and beer chaser.

She looks down at the passenger seat and is reminded how many times she smiled at the Fed Ex guy each time he delivered the packets now on the seat next to her.

She answers her cell phone ….”Hello…really?...they found what?...ok…and what about…...that’s what I wanted to hear…..call me back when you find out what I need..” The sides of her lips curl upward and she nods her head. Slides the moon roof open to enjoy the night stars, puts in a CD, cranks up the volume and cruses to the hidey hole singing to The Best of Queen……….*

Its dawn and the sun is coming up on a peaceful site, Bonnie is passed out next to the stump with Ms Walker gripped tightly in her hand , The hidey hole is quiet and lovely in the early morning light. A soft mist rising from the water. Good time for fishin but I am too sore and sleeping in the tent is not gonna work for me, I am too broken,

I have a secret though , smiling to self with a quiet grin. I know that boB has a cabin hidden in these woods where he stores the sugar cookie and monkey bread ! Just the thing to go with my excellent coffee that he made for me and then told everyone about! Dang him!

Still the cabin would be warm and has a real bed too! Thats it ! Gonna pack the tent and go for a hike Least this is one secret that he wont tell!

Opps! Looks like Bonnie is waking up! Gotta go before she realizes that Ms Walker is empty! She will be crying all over the hidey hole, and most likely wanting to swipe, uh borrow, my coffee!

Packs tent and sneaks down tiny old hidden trail to find monkey bread and sugar cookies for breakfast at cabin .............

*** sounds of crickets & birds***

Hello??? Is anyone here? Man... Take a little nap and everyone runs off - hey... What's this? A cooler full of Joose! Is that Tootsie, Caramel cappuccino, aunt M's OMG (not the juice). I struck it rich... I will be vaping for days!

***picks up cooler and slips back into the trees***

No wonder this juice tastes funny and the carto isn't working right. It's full of lake water.

** Tucks waterlogged carto into a ziploc bag carried in his pack.

(I'll just PIF this to Superbals He'll know what to do with a carto that has experienced the Yokazuna Splash. I also have a few choice juices for him; July Picnic Mayonnaise, Creamed Corn, Hairy Drain Clog, Smoked Salmon, Yeast Lump, Turpentine Citrus Meltdown, and Ry 666 that I got from Ravenvape).

** ...... his ears up, listening for signs of life around the lake. A loud snoring sound can be heard from somewhere to his east. **

Ah, Bonnie...still sleeping like a babe in arms. Wonder what she'd do if I put on the bear suit and crept up on her.

Oh, back to the caramel cappuccino, and no cheap jokes this time. I really don't know if I loaded the carto incorrectly or what, but after a few puffs, I get a real strong sulphur taste, or sort of an iron and sulphur taste, to the steam. Also, the carto is drawing very hard. I probed the filler with the tip of a syringe needle, and it feels almost like styrofoam, very dense and resistant to penetration by the needle. I did use the condom method to fill it, and a Terrin spin in a battery bag to distribute the liquid through the mega carto. As I originally posted, the carto was brand new and has never been filled with any other juice.

I am currently dripping the caramel cap right now, and I get no sulphur taste; in fact, this juice is delicious and will probably be my all-day vape today; at the 8 mg. nicotine strength, I can vape a lot of it without overdosing. Still, I am confused about what's going on with the cartomizer.

Now, back to fun and frolic by the lake....

<grin>

**

*thinks Missy must be looking in a mirror* What's up gf?? Been singing "My baby's got a secret" in my head all day thanks to your vague "i gotta secret" post in chit chat. *shakes fist at you* If I didn't know what the secret was AND this ridiculous song was playing in my brain, I'd be super unhappy right now.

Off to find Stevie Nicks CD to clear this crap out of my mind! All hail the Goddess!

Note sent via messenger to KBV

Bee Oh Bee
I am in this here nice place called the Betty Ford spa. Is a long story and I am not the one for long drawn out stories but the details is such that the bad nasty man at the state store got all grumpie about some kinda 4 thousand dollar tick I had runnin and he called the poh lease and they put some nice silver bracelets on me and put me in the POKEY! It was jest horrid and there was a woman/man...*IDK WTH IT is????* said it's name was PAT and well....uhmmmm...it was my roomie and then I was a taken to the Judge for a judgin and something about a rainin or sumthin and he tole me to go to this here place or back to the pokey and I chose this cause that thing named Pat was a touchin *in all the wrong places* and was a feelin....*ahem ..It was feelin bad and well.....the food is so horrid and no vapin allowed. It is nice here. They introduced me to a way of life.......Bill's way. he got a 12 step or somethin.......IDK atm .* I know the two step and the electrik slide and the macarooni * but I ain;t never done this kinda steppin. I will keep ya up to the date on when I be back at the fishin hole. In the mean time.......there is good news. That guvner Schwartenhopper give all these here californyans the right to vape, so I am good but could ya send a gallon in a small unmarked envelope with this address
bonniegirl
room number 69
69 High Falutin Road
Beverly Hillsbillies
CA
IDK the zippy can you look it up fer me or ask that there Gay.uhmmm....Game warden, he is from near these parts, *if'n he ain't dead from the blown up boat incident*?
Kbahbye
bonniegirl
Tell everyone at the KBV fishin hole I am missin them. I gotta go....is time for a meetin and a group hug and another prayer *FFS that all they do here for that higher power dude*

** Ciego learns of Bonnie's temporary visit to the Betty Furd Clinic on Highfallutin Drive in Beverly Hills. **

This is damn unjust. They can't separate Bonnie from the Walker family; they go way back to when Johnnie wore a plain white dress. Or as often, no dress at all. They're as close as family.

** Begins to work on plan to spring her and bring Bonnie back to the hidey-hole. His concentration is disturbed by Stevie Nicks' music.**

Is that a goat singing in the distance? ** Sings like Goat Boy **"Staa-aaand back Sta-aaaaand back! In the middle of my room I did not hear from you...." **

Nope, it's not a singing goat. It's Stevie Nicks.

** Goes back to plotting...**

Where is the Law firm of Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait when Ms Bonnie needs them......?

*bonniegirl is on a greyhound headin straight to fishigan.........seated at the rear of the bus (as Rosa parks has passed anyway and it is Dr. King holyday anyway) and holding tightly to her plastic white bag of clothing and a brown bag of her friend Ms. Walker purchased by a kind passerbyus near the bus, although UNSURE if he was glad to do so....she is fidgety and sweating and takes a long swig of said contents of brown bag............thinking aloud*

WTF is that there place about anyways? Sittin in round circles and booing and hooing and talkin all about the lettin it go and lettin God and nuttin changes if nuttin changes and powerless over my drinkin? I tell ya this .......I ain'T powerless over this here Ms. Walker, I can lift her up with one hand. She gives me powers I never knew I had...........why after a few belts of this I feel like wonderwoman...I do and ain't that a good thing to feel good about yerself? All that prayin about change? Accepptin change? What ya can't change and wisdom? Bunch of hippy dippy freaks ask me. Friends of Bill? I ain't seen no Bill there the whole dang time I was there. I was more friendly with that ole gay.uhmmm...game Warden than I was Bill..........them people got them some head problems......they do. At least I could see the warden..........ain't never seen no Bill. Promisin me about some new dancin steps of twelve. TWELVE? I ain't seen no dancing in the whole place, jest a lot of huggin and all the time askin how ya doin and all them fake howdy do's............wanna go to art therapy? WTF is they nuts? I ain't no paintin and sewin and dosey doein kinda girl. That judge ain't wrapped too tight...must be a few coins short of a nickle, that one. Thinkin goin to a circle sittin, boo hooin, prayin bunch of bally hooin is gonna pay off my tick at the State store and all? WTF is that there judge thinkin in his empty mind? And ain't is funny that they sent me to a place like that for not keepin good trackin of my math and my money and they cain't even count theyselves. All they be talkin is one is too many and a thousand is never enough? Should I tell that State store man here is your one dollar and that is too much for the Ms. Walker? They callin me crazy? and they has the mathh and figurin problems. I cain't wait till I am back at my ole fishin hole and a good warm fire, my friends and all the good catches ya can git there. They got all a woman needs in that lil village of Kick bass...they do.

*Hollers in a loud voice from back of bus to driver.*

Hey cain't you step on that pedal a bit? I got places to be, worms to dig and ground to scratch and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep................ahem..............PEDAL TO THE METAL!...............*wish he was driving me in a GTO....I would get there faster on that chris kentucky boys motorbike FFS*

*bonniegirl looks out window and thinking aloud, mumbles to self*

Wonder if my ole pal Ciego fell off the dock again? Hope bulletkept that fire a goin and sandy K got her credit cardin figured out...........I hope that beautiful Bianca is there when I git there, she is right pretty and has been known to break a good woman down *in the bushes FFS* If'n I find out that Guitar got played while I was gone I will be spittin nails mad, I will and I am even gonna be glad to see that old trouble makin warden if he survived that blowin up situation........that would DLite me if he did. That yssiM been a mixin some good vittles for vapin I jest know it, she is a sweet one. Mostly, though, I am a missin Bee Oh Bee..............well, like ...uhmmmmm......ahem..............well I am a missin him *like when a hemorrhoid is gone* He was such a pia.........OMG(NOT the joose)........I see the State line of Fishigan.........I smell the smell........the smell of home...........the Caramel Capp and the monkey bread and those snicketydoodles and the fresh aroma of warm sugar cookies and strawberry pie and slice cake and OMG (the joose this time) and *sniffing the air*.....uhhhmmmm.......old dirty burnt socks? WTF(maybe a joose in the future).....is that brownies?...........aahhhhh the smells of home sweet home!

*places head out small window sideways and yells at top of lungs*

HERE I COME KICK BASS HIDEY HOLE FISHIN VILLAGE , YER BONNIEGIRL IS COMIN HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest Bonniegirl,
Much as I didn’t want to go into my past, I called in some favors, made a few calls and did some investigating to figure out what’s been happenin at the old hidey hole. Much as you don’t care for the game warden, turns out he was just a prank playing little fool like Ciego having some bad boy fun time. I know in my heart the warden didn’t get blown up into little pieces on his boat, being that he was up front driving and his motor was in the back…and…well I’ll get to that part later.

While I was romping in town, the general store owner told me two guys came in the store one day giggling and having fun, vaping their brains out on some tootsie roll smellin stuff; they bought a uniform and a bear costume; said they were planning to have some fun. Needless to say I found out who them two fellers were.

Found out Mr. Cheapinski from the State store, was really PO’d at us folks at the hole, for cleaning out his supply of Walker. Said he was determined to get paid one way or another...said he would get even for a few dollars? I didn’t know what he meant until I put it all together with the help of the general store owner.

*Bullet stops writing to take a long luxurious vape of butterscotch bon bon….then wonders where the warden can be and if he’s alright……. flips the paper over to continue her letter to Bonniegirl*………..

*Bullet continues her letter to Bonnie*
Turns out Mr. Cheapinski was from the old country, a vindictive ole feller who walked into the general store looking for some wire; not much, just a little over a dollar’s worth. Told the store owner “…this here wire can send someone half way to da moon”, and laughed about it.

That wire was used to blow up the warden’s boat. It was known as the $1.00 hit. A wire from the spark plug into the gas tank…the vapors would build up then kaboomb! That’s what happened to the warden’s boat in the middle of the lake! Please Bonnie, don’t ask me anymore or how I found all this out…I don’t want to reveal my past. I’m hoping the warden was simply blown out of the boat but not hurt.

Seems Mr. Cheapinski was behind this terrible, horrible ordeal to implement the warden and Ciego. Okay…. so warden and Ceigo had a little fun and hid some of your tootsie behind the logs at camp, but they meant no harm.

You’ll be happy to know Mr. Cheapinski is now at the gray bar hotel awaiting prosecution for his crime.
I have my associates…I mean friends….searching for the warden. They’ve found evidence of a riding lawn mower being stolen and tracks heading back to the hidey hole. Why would anyone steal a mower and find their way back to the hidey hole less they was one of us? Gotta be the warden! I think he’s alive!

I gotta go Bonnie, I know you’ll be safe and we’ll have you back in no time now that we’ve solved the mystery. Keep vaping girlfriend….the sweet smell of victory!

Love ya,
Smoking Bullet

@ BiancaMontgomery

What!? Did I get your goat? LOL


** Again, he sings like Goat Boy **

Rhia-aaa-ahnon! Rhia-aaa-ahnon!"

I'll give you this: She's a wonderful songwriter ("Landslide" will always be a favorite), and her work with Fleetwood Mac and Lindsay Buckingham was wonderful.

<wink>

*Pulls up to hidey hole* Wheew I finally made it back to society, Over hears the evil plot to dismember Ceigo, raises eyebrows this isnt good he wont even be able to see it coming. Maybe he will use his disadvantage to his advantage this time. Leaves a walker family gift basket on bonnies stump and heads off into town in search of a new boat.

*Bonniegirl steps off the greyhound bus at the first stop in Fishigan USA.....peers around at the passerbuyus and sees the magnificently beautiful goddess known as BiancaMontgomery humming a Stevie Wonder...Uhmmm.......(that day is gone) ......uhmmmmm........Stevie Niks song.....hears her melodic (not goat sounding voice) singing*
Awh, take my love, take it down
Awh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide bring it down
Oh, the landslide bring it down

*she sure is pretty, dang shame I ain't a ..........uhhhmmmm......well..........ain't her type.........YES...HER TYPE.*
*Bonniegirl peers into the State store and the five and dime (yeah, I know they are outdated but it sounded good FFS) and the soda fountain.......... .(jerk).....begins strolling to the end of town to begin the long journey to KBV fishin hole.........thinking aloud in a mumblin voice and carrying and swiggin on the bagged bottle and holdin tight to the plastic bag with one ripped hole of a handle (WTF do they always break like that FFS? cheap .... thangs, old time brown bags might kill trees but these here worthless plastic bags kills everything, yer fingers, the goods inside while they is rollin down the parkin lot, the pig that went to market and the one that stayed home when the cans or bottles falls on em and well......a party tole me that they never disintegrate in the earth, they lives longer than well..........them big .... turtles (possibly a joose in the future IDK and am UNSURE...well them bags is horrid.......now WTF(Maybe a joose accordin to Bee Oh Bee)was I a thinkin about?.......HHhhmmm.oh yeah, that there Betty Furd place....whew glad to be outta there countin there non existent 12 steppin dance and all that prayin and higher powerin and group huggin and silly therapist, them ones tryin to git inside yer head and unscrew it up...... .(that one, she was nuttier than a fruit cake or a good peanut butter sandwich (OOOOOOHHHHHHH, maybe a good joose IDK).well alls she did was keep a askin me how I felt and all. FELT? She didn't care how I felt with the shakes and the mouth a waterin for some good liquification besides that watered down sheet they called orange joose (NOT A JOOSE I PRAY TO GOD) ..and I felt soooooooooooo lousy....I is outta TOOTSIE(YES, the joose, not Ciegos burned up one that went to market or the crushed from the can ones that stayed at home)........FEEL?............FEEL..................like a fish outta water, a woman without a home, a pig without mud to wallow in, a sixty without a nine and a baby without her bottle..........*takes a long swig remembering when the word bottle came into the conversation with self*

*Sees a large kentucky looking dude on a motorbike.........could it be?.......is it possible?......YES, It is my ole friend Chris Yells loudly over sounds of motor*

YOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO........HEY KENTUCKY BOY CHRIS....................HEY.............YOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
IT IS YER BONNIEGIRL......... COMIN HOME!...........CAN I CATCH A RIDE?*maybe we will get there by Valentines Day FFS*

*Hops on motorbike and reaches around to hold tight onto the brown bag and the plastic bag of belongings flappin in the wind (what with the one holed handle and all)*

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....(Not the actress/comedien).........*singin aloud*
Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me

Boy oh Boy..........I sure is missin my friends Bullet and Mini and Ciego Sandy K and even that there grumpie ole warden DLite and ya know what?...........uhhhhmmmm......
Chris that Daughtry Chris is a mighty good'n .......I is a bit UNSURE, but I think he got one of them psyckicky peoples to git in my brain with that song..............he did........now could ya go a bit faster? We northerners like it a little fast, not like you Kentucky slow pokey people Knew I shoulda waited fer that GTO.............and I am fresh out of Tootsie! OMG(NOT the joose)...........it is a VAPERGENCY!..Imma needin to cast my net and get me a good load of that species................STEP ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** Ciego puts on his Ipod and listens to Stevie Wonder **

Yeah, too many dang Stevies in pop music. Stevie Wonder, Stevie Nicks, Stevie Ray Vaughn. Being Caucasian, I can never be Stevie Wonder....maybe Stevie Wonder Bread?

** Does that wierd head thing Stevie Wonder does when he's in the groove... **

Naw. It ain't working.

** He ponders the rumors that BiancaMontgomery wants to dismember him. ** Well, no big loss. I haven't had much use for my member recently.

** Hunts frantically in his pocket for his PV. Again finds his Pocket Pal. **

Looks like it's you and me again tonight, sweetie....

** Wanders off the path seeking privacy. Wonders if it's true that a certain activity causes blindness.... **

~Puts up a huge sign~

KBV drippers club is now officially open

Come in, sit down have a few drips and share a few stories

The following post is done by the RL Bonnie and NOT the UNSURE, SMOKINBULLET, Ciego sock burnin and dock fallin, BIANCAMONTGOMERY LUSTING, CHRISKY SLOW POKING CALLING, LUSH OF A MS JOHNNIE WALKER SWILLIN FOOL THAT HAS BECOME THE SOLE PROPERTY OF A SUBCONCIOUS MIND WHICH IS SKEWED AND CORRUPTED BY USE OF PAST BAD JOOSES WHICH COME IN THE SAME FLAVOR AND NIC CHOICE BUT IN VARIED COLORS AND TASTES OR THE ONES WITH WHICH COULD KILL INSECTS AT A HUNDRED YARDS AND ARE BETTER SHOTS THAN SARAH PALIN ON A GOOD DAY WHEN HER DADDYS' GUN SCOPE IS ON TARGET. WITH THAT SAID,,,,I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PREVIOUS CONTENT BUT WISH TO WEIGH IN ON A FEW THINGS.

The RL Bonniegirl says this and means it with all her loving heart
A word from our "sponsor"

1. Sure, we act a bit silly and have a "novel" approach to a new vendor of e-liquid....Laughter is good for the soul and mind. It increases endorphins and causes a decrease in stress. need research links, please PM me.
2. A good pun or innuendo to poke fun is not only funny but proves the I.Q. of the common KBV customer. That being said, smart people like KBV joose. (just a bit of logical thinking, I know it is rare these days , this logic thing, but is just my observation
3. I have been vaping 3 years and vaped back in the day when Dekang was about the only choice except of course TW and a few others that took Dekang and relabeled with their site/business names on them. We had a choice between auto or the NEW manual which changed everything and I have watched the purest forms of free enterprise and watched consumer driven changes made in search of the perfect holy grail of vaping (Right PV, Right Voltage, Right E-liquid)
4.I have vaped over a hundred flavors (or many more) from dozens and dozens of vendors....I know pics or it didn't happen...ask anyone present at the last pa meet to show you the pics of my stash to vouch for my statement, I am old and tired and this taking pics and getting them from sd card to here is too techno for me FFS,,,help needed from techno geeks that are patient btw.
5. NEVER have I vaped cleaner, truer flavors than the KBV joose. It stands up at stock battery voltage all the way to 7Volts with only slight depletion in flavor after 6 volts. That, my new vapers, is a miracle. I am used to having my joose collection labeled according to voltages they were best at and therefore required a sundry of numerous different voltage mods. Yes, I admit, I am a mod hoe. It is a sickness, I love them and name them....each one of them.
6. Which brings me to my final point (I know, whew, there is an end and to those who are saying that, there is an arrow on right to go past this post or an x at top right to relieve you of all headaches involved, we will miss you, but do what is best for your mental health)
I was a DIYer. Not because I loved playing mad scientist, not because I am cheap and so tight I squeak when I walk...ahem.....(missy), Not because I need extra things to do,( I am old and tired and raising a 5 year old GS FFS), not because I could make better flavor combos (though I can mix a dang good vape) but because I got sick and tired (OK sicker and more tired) of paying for joose that was unvapable, inconsistent, order incorrect, caramel popcorn showing up BRIGHT RED and in my thinking there must be an error and the vendor responded to email with (in short) "Too bad for you" attitude, Now onto the most important thing. I am a registered nurse of over 22 years. I like to know what is in my e-liquid..... Bob and Missy do NOT use anything I will not vape, The joose is consistent and clean tasting and I have one less chore to do at about the same close price to making it myself If I paid myself for my time and energy (which are limited)
For me and my vape, I choose KBV
Thanks Bob and Missy
Bonnie

and now back to our regularly scheduled programming.......pass the popcorn please, this is gettin good that bonniegirl is comin home to the hidey hole and is on the back of that slow kentucky boys motorbike singin and woo hooing

composition? IDK about no high falutin words like that but I tell ya this..is mighty good to be home here at the hidey hole Hi on lyphe........Hi on life?..................Hi how r u?.....uhhhmmm.this here ain't no soap opry, this here is a good reputable and honest ta goodness clean livin way oh life. Now, a party tole me you was familiar but not personal with that there Bill guy from the betty Furd clinic over there in Calyforney. Is that true and could ya tell me whys they is all a miracle? Ever single one of thems people sayin they is a miracle. If what they say is true, they got more miracles there than Jesus hisself seen. Now pull yerself up a stump and have ya a soda pop and set a spell. Ya don't has to watch what happens round here, ya cin git in on the action. Post yerself what you sees in yer eyes when ya close em up real tight and use yer imagination. It will prolly be rusty cause we grown ups don't be a usin our imagination much *cept course that there Bill Gates and that Apple guy and the ....uhhhmmmm......well......the guy that invented that there ginsu knife............it works that thing,,,,,,nearly lost the pig that went wee wee wee all the way home when I dropped it..........was a shame, it was.*

*spies Ciego walking straight toward a tree and opens mouth to yell and warn but to no avail, damage is dun, he dun lunked his head again....poor fella and his pants is all wet from sumthin...IDK, Hollers over to Bullet*

Hey Bullet........BBBUUUUUUULLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTT, Cin ya check on ole Ciego and see if'n hes still breathin, he dun lunked his head agin.......Imma gettin to know this here Hi on sumthin guy*

Hey NC Lady..........How to hell is ya? Long time no see.
Pull up a stump and set a spell, want a few fingers of Ms. Walker?
Like to introduce ya to my new friend Hi O. Lyphe, ain't that a fine name?

Pass the marshmallows and Chris, thanks for that real fast ride here to the hidey hole fishin hole *snails move faster FFS* too bad that cheap .... plastic bag with that teethbrush and cup and water pitcher and spitoon and them draw string peejammies and that horrid shirt with no back and all them strings that lets yer hiney hang out was lost on that <wink, wink> real lightnin fast ride here....*gotta stroke these mens egos ya know*.........ahem...............shurely preciate it.......I do. How is yer dad doin, hear he took up to fishin for some good catches and usin the vapin? That is reel nice, it is.......much better fer his health..........I like to live a healthy life meself...*takes long swig straight from bottle as cup is on the picayune road somewhere*

Chris can ye put another log on the fire sos our new guest here don't catch the death of pneumony?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Ciego......thanks for the heads up bout that there great offer,,,,,,,,,,,Imma hopin someone real nice gets it and that it uhhhmmmm.......goes to a good home where it will be appreciated and all.....it might be the Ms, Walker a talkin but I like ta get my catches fresh from the fishin hole...........How is yer head.....ya feelin ok?.................why is ya wearin a speedo and not yer pants Ciego?..................*man he is a sight that will sore your eyes* C'mon, get ya some pants on and set by the fire.......*has the overwhelming urge to burst into a chorus of Chestnuts roasting on an open fire , but knows tis not the season*...........here Ciego have a few fingers of my Ms. Walker.........*hands ciego a soup can with a few fingers of scotch*
......... and I like to introduce you to my new friend Hi On Lyph.........he is down by the river in a rocker with the mrs. Lyph.

***Wanders back into the enchanted clearing that is the honey hole...designer fish basket draped across one shoulder***

I just had to come and cast another line for some more of those tasty fishes I hooked, they came in from the fishery today and smelled better than a lady of the night turned loose in a french perfume factory...anyways...they smell absolutely tasty! That is not to say that I know what ladies of the night smell like or taste like for that matter, that is not my area of expertise....perhaps you could consult ciego...I feel quite sure he would know....

Anywhoo...that monkey bread is a keeper, and tootsie ***sticks tongue out at bonniegirl*** and rice crispity treat are waiting to be fired up.

Take it from this here southern lady...KBV is most definitely a honey hole not likely to disappoint.

***perches delicately on a hollow log and arranges herself in a comfortable yet alluring manner, and casts the line from her pink fishing pole***

Hey a girl could catch more than fish around here if she's good....and I'm good...very good....

Morning Warden! How the bruises today? Any luck finding a new boar?

*** passes a jar of sugar and some cream for the coffee***

I was thinking... With all the new fisher-folk we're getting we might née to post a new species list. By the way... That Ciego fellow is down by the old docks again, might as well grab some towels.

Have you caught you any of this here Peaches & Cream?

*** hands Warden nice, fat bottle***

Some of the best stuff around.

***hears rustling sounds and groans from stump***

Hey... I think Bonnie is getting up! Better pour her up her morning libations!

*** adds 4 fingers of Ms Walker to coffee cup***

well.............uhhmmmm.........I placed an order right before the prezzie announcement......and.uhmmmmmmmmm....well.............I am a drip...............ahem..........a big drip...........Uhhhhmmmmm...........I am a big DRIPPER...........yes!...............I am a big DRIPPER!
so.....................*note to self, place an order for more tootsie and get the prezzie*.......... and well............it is a good ........uhhhmmmm excellent catch and one can NEVER have tooo much tootsie.......................*note to others, please hold ears as bonniegirl is about to holler like a pig with his toe caught in a bear trap*

MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...............YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I IS A DRIP....................UHMMMMMMMMMM.............I IS A DRIPPER.

*shaking own head and can not believe the real Bonnie has been published in a professional journal and is actually play acting like a dang drunken ole fish hole hangin fool*

*note to self*

Dear Self,
For the love of God and all that is holy. Please get a frickin life.
Love Ya
Self

Bonnie - in this day and age there are much worse things to be... Now get over here by the fire! I got your cup all ready for you. Me and the warden have been having a cup & a vape.

** Wanders up to the fire, rubbing his sore head. ** Mornin'. Hey, these stains on my pants ain't from dripping. It's sap from the ..... willow...

** Pulls out homemade box mod which is festooned with My Little Pony and Rainbow Bright stickers. ** So tell me, is this box made of pink plastic? Somebody was laughing at me but wouldn't tell me why...

** Briefly ponders the joy of having a pink box.**

I hear DLite, that you're lookin' for a cherry cola. You tried FSUSA's? Not bad.

** Thinks back briefly to the Buckingham Nicks album cover, Stevie looking not at all goat like, lovely black and white photo, both musicians without clothing above the waist, nice. **

"Sta-aa-aa-aand back, sta-aa-aaa-aand back...."

**PV suddenly and without warning falls off lap. **

OKay, KBV already has a toffee (OMG, yes the juice) so no need to request that. They already have a killer chocolate (Tootsie), so I won't ask for that....

Here are a couple flavors I'd like to try:

A really good lemon, maybe a lemon-creme or even a lemon cola. Strawberry lemonade? Frozen lemon pie?

I would also like a really good honey-something. Honey is such a mild flavor, and most of the honey-flavored juices I've tasted have been on the very week side.

I like the mixture of menthol, spearmint, peppermint and eucalyptus. There's a juice on GV that someone came up with called "Lung Enema." I like the idea. Strong mint and menthol flavors to clear the sinuses and lungs on morning just like this one (currently minus 7 degrees in SE Minnesota).

** Thinks again of a young topless Stevie Nicks, before she got all wierd with that pseudo-pagan nonsense....hell, she doesn't know her Astarte from a hole in the ground.... Finds his copy of Bare Trees, back before the BN days of Fleetwood Mac and listens to a lovely instrumental called "The Sunny Side of Heaven." **

*pokes head out of hidey hole*

*thinking aloud (as usual)*

I be dang, dem dare folks not even a howdy do after I got outta dat dare insane ...-eye-um........That slowpokey Kentucky boy at least left me a nice brown bag of whistler wettins.............he is a fine youngin, that one *slow as molasses in January FFS* but he is a good boy.....he is...........ahem.............I ain't seen hide nor hare of that there slanty eyed up to no good warden..............I'ma thinkin he is a fake un...................him with his yellow pants with blue stripes down the side.......He is certainly not a Gay......uhhhhmmmm........Game , YES....Game warden...he is prolly from the V. I. A. *that vapin intelligience association......a link to them there FDA evil snakes*........He is up to no good I tell ya. I ain't seen bullet and my ole friend Ciego *that poor cain't see a dang thing , always falling off the dock and bangin his head into da trees hippy dippy dude*.......hope he ain't a layin dead somewhere and the bears is eatin the rest of his pigs that is left.

*moseys over toward the now dwindling fire and throws a small log on and sits upon a mossy stump.....thinking aloud again*

WTF is wrong with me? I cain't even be thinkin straight ever since that there Montgomery woman came to the fishin hole, she smells so pretty and is always fixed up sooooooo nice and all...I know I ain't that kinda woman.......ahem........you know the ones in the bushes and purrin and all............I know I ain't...........must be a change of life thang...must be.

*peers around with hat slanted so as to hide the fact she is lookin around and pretending to be nonchalant but fearful of trouble as ..........as .....ahem.....trouble seems to...uhhhmmm.....seems to.....ahem...follow after her*

bonniegirl then Pulls KBV Tootsie out of bosom after fishin around and holding each bottle out far to see clearly the wrintin on em.*well, she is old as dirt and all, wait till you git this old FFS*..finds Tootsie and DRIPS.........ahem...<YSSIM>>>>>>>>>>>>WINK< WINK>......DRIPS on atty several drops (as an 801 hold loads of fine species in em).........aaahhhhhhh..that is one hell of a good smooth chocolate, caramel luscious vape....it is..........and two more ounces is on their way to hidey hole stump number 69th on left at KBV Honey Hole, Fishigan............Yepper, Imma gonna live here forever................I am.................I really am sure of that. Not UNSURE for sure.

** Drips another three droplets of the precious Aunt M.'s Coffee into his Mega atomizer, ready to savor the vapor ***

Gosh, it's early and all, but the fire ring sure is quiet. I think I'll stoke the fire.

Aw crap. No firewood.

** Rummages until he finds a camp hatchet, a double edged axe, a 1.5 HP chainsaw and a sawmill. **

Ah! Time for the next episode of
"Blind Klutz Cuts"

(say *that* fast five times....)

R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrrrr!

** that was supposed to be a chainsaw sound effect **

Tim-ber!

*Bullet comes wondering into the hidey hole....* Ciego! Put that down! Finger off the button Ciego, finger OFF THE BUTTON...put it down...." *Bullet watches as the chainsaw swings from left to right, top to bottom almost hacking off Ciego's toes.........R-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrr (that was supposed to be a chainsaw sound effect). "Who took Ciego off his leash....geez guys, where is everybody? ....."Ciego, thata boy, but the saw down....okay, you can do, put it down.....I have some great vape for us, just put the saw down".........

** Ciego releases the kill switch. The chainsaw brakes as the motor coughs once, sounding like arat terrier vomiting.**

Did somebody say "vape?" Oh heya, Bullet! You're looking mighty fine...er, welll... Heyy, you sound great.

M-m-m-m-m. I like Candy Barr. That old stag film, "Smart Aleck..." Oh, you mean Candy Bar from KBV.


Yeah, I can't tell if it tastes more like a smokier Heath bar, a slightly less sweet Skor bar or the old-school Cadbury toffee bar. I get nuts on the exhale (okay, insert joke here. In 3, in 2, in 1).

** Picks up hatchet and wanders toward trees looking for downed dead wood. **

Yeah, Bullet's right. Chainsaw bad,.

*Bullet stands there in amazement watching Ciego head towards the tree swinging a hatchet like an old school lunch box* Okay then, I guess it's time to sit by the fire and vape some OMG and wait for the scream.

Sandy..........tell me wtf ya want and I will order it for ya FFS............*all the whining and the booing and the hooing .....sounin like that there betty Furd clinic peoples*. I will buy yer joose fer ya and when ya get yer credit cardin okey dokey, ya can send me some joose in return. What ya want..........an ounce of OMG and an ounce of skippin stones?................Jest tell yer bonniegirl what cha be wantin and i will take care of it *shettin yer pie hole I will*..........I know you is good fer it and I am sure.......(no, not UNSURE) you will be a much happier person with yer joose.
Jest let me know in a PM.............

Back to your regularly scheduled programming

Pass he popcorn please.............this outta be good....Ciego , an axe, a fire and a Bullet on Ms Walker? It is a good chapter.............throw another log on that fire bullet, is a might chilly tonite ain't it?

Ahummmmmm,......"throw another log on the fire Bullet..." my husband wouldn't even say that..... but I realize you've recently had a difficult time and you're gettin old...and the trama of escaping....I mean your release... from the Betty Furd clinic and all, so I don't take any offense. We all need to take care of each other. Hey where's Ciego and his hatchet?....anyone see Ciego? I don't trust a man and a hatchet in the woods at night......*dah,dah,dah....dah..dah...dah* (scary background music)...*

~amnesia has overtaken the mind of the warden~

~hides in some bushes, only eyes glaze from behind the leaves~

"they aint gonna get me, I wont allow them to take me, No I wont go back to that horrid place, bouncing on the floor and kicking off the wall as they try and wrangle me into that special jacket. I wont allow it they will never take me from this magical wonderland full of sweet sweet smells and luscious tastes of Tootsie, OMG, Snickerdoodle and strawberries and cream to name a few. "

So you got my semaphore right??? Knew those flags would come in handy...

*** walks over to fire, adds a log and pours a cup of coffee to go with his cinnamon Danish delight. Kicks back on a stump and looks around.***

Why is there a blood axe & chainsaw setting by the woodpile? Isn't that Ciegos eGo (yes the PV) and bottle of OMG (the juice) on the ground?

I hear the snoring from Bonnie's stump and see a pile of Ms Walker bottles, so I don't guess I'll be seeing her very soon... By the look of that pile it's a good thing I brought her some more - hope 5 bottles will get that ol girl through the afternoon!

*** walks over and deposits the Ms Walker at Bonnie's stump and picks up Ciegos Joose and eGo. Looks around questioningly, shrug and walks back to the puffing like a steam engine***

Things is always interesting around the godet fishin hole! Where is that warden... Got his coffee ready and waiting; maybe he knows what happened to Ciego. Who let's a blind man near a chainsaw anyway?

Take a deep breath... relax.... the jacket is all about giving yourself a biiiig loooooong hug...... permanently. Whew.... I'm zen again.

*** walks over to the axe wielding Ciego with his eGo (the PV) and Joose bottle in hand***

Woo their big fella! Here is something I think you lost... Fighting with that .....willow again were ya???

Found the warden in the bushes dis ya??? Well I am gonna let Bonnie handle that one - I don't want to walk in on anything if you know what I mean! Get over to the fire and warm up Ciego... No! Not that way ..

*** Ciego stumbles down the dock and into the water AGAIN***

Need a rope over here..,

** Ciego climbs out of the water and finds a towel that was thoughtfully left hanging over the unfinished dock railing. **

It ain't the blindness that sent me into the water. It's OMG withdrawal...or mybe Strawberry Slice Cake abstinence syndrome.... or maybe a case of the D.T.'s (Dockside Tipsiness).

** Wanders back to the fire, desperately needing a vape and some warmth. **

Boy, Bonnie is sure sawing logs. Hey! That reminds me. Where's the chain saw?

** Sits down, taps three drops of Crumb Doughnut into his atty and vapes up. **
** Puff.**

Hmmmm....


** Puffs again. **

Like it? Nope. But let's find out if I'm wrong...

** Puff! Puff! Puff! **

Nope, still don't like it. Better try again...

** puff! Puff! Puff! Pufffffffffffffffffffff! **

Ah! That's better. Now I like it.

Wow! Crispy Creme ain't got nothin' on Bob and Missy.
** Firmly closes snap on cover of camp hatchet. **

*thinks to self what he did to bring about such good karma as he places a freshly dried towel on dock railing for Ciego* ...... "did he say unfinished?" "WTF? (not the joose) does he expect me to stain, paint, or shellac it?" ........ "I'm fixin to give someone a good shellacking!" *looks around at bottles again OMG (some are actually joose)*

*spots Ciego off in distance in thong with wet towel on ground* "I'll teach that thong wearing blind dude a thing or two" *knowing he can't see sneaks up behind him and grabs wet towel, twists, and takes aim* ........

*right then Ciego senses him* "boB WTF? (joose?)" *quickly thinks of how to justify* "Ciego quick! bonnie spilled 2 whole bottles of toostie on this towel I was wringing it out and think I can get enough to fill a carto!" ................. *knows he dodged a Bullet yet Unsure* "Great boB! have I told you about my basementcat?"

"Ciego I'd love to hear but I really need to get back to work on the site, Sandy is waiting for CC ordering, be careful on the dock and you mind keeping lookout for new people? You seem to have a unique way of spotting them"

*watches from under the dock two beady eyes peering from between two of the partaily rotted two by sixes*

*They cant catch me here, they will never catch me here I wont allow it never no never again will they remove me from my playground*

*The height I get from swinging from a rope of OMG and the breeze of Snicker Doodle will never evade my senses again*

*Flashbacks of a padded room and a special jacket* *Shivers from the thought*

*slowly slinks from an area just barely unseen by the cover of the docks* I believe the goodness and wholesomeness of yummyhood seething from bottles of kbv awesomeness have left everyone here mad as a hatter. *steps away from the dark corner near the water and mindfully approaches the camp fire* ohhh pretty lights..... Squirrel!! *runs off chasing something*

Aaahhh now! Don't be that way! Just because Bonniegirl cannot be separated from Ms Walker in her lil black dress or Ciego is playing blind man bluff (literally) with a chainsaw or wrestling that .....willow or the game warden is hiding from the rubber room after he was blown up... And then there is boB & yssiM playing mad scientist in their little laboratory is no reason to be thinking we are all nutty! Squirrel!!!

*** drops to all fours and scampers into the woods barking & howling***

** listens for that lovely hum of acceleration from our hurried mail lady moving up the street** My juice is "Package out for delivery in Brentwood" !!!!!!!!! Woooo Hoooooo. Any minute now........"Daddy, can we go to Toys R Us now? Daddy? Daddy! Can we go to Toys R Us now please?!!!!!!!" Crap. I wish I could bribe them with some of this Rice Cripy Treat coming in the mail, but they arent quite old enough yet. **hurries to the pantry to check the pantry for Rice Crispy Treats**

Ok kids lets go, bus is leaving in 5 minutes

***peeks out the door of my sophisticated lean-to by the cascading stream, blinks my eyes and realizes the suns going down.*** Man, I've been at the computer too long today. First bit of sunlight i've seen and now it's gone.
*** gazes over toward the fire wondering who left the wadded up towel on the ground. Hey, who's the new guy.... hope he's a wolfatMYdoor. My Elkhound needs a playmate. Hope he doesn't eat the Puggle.***

Coffee's a little old but I got some OMG(the joose) that should satisfy ya. *** walks over to Wolfatthedoor and holds out the right hand of fellowship****

Oh, I'm sure you will fit in..... they (we) were crazy before we tried the joose. Actually the joose keeps us a little more subdued than usual. Welcome.

Was that a Wolf at my door??? Noooo can't be.. Just in case, i better whip up some of this bacon joose, Just for him!
*****
Sandy we are praying for your hubs, for a speedy recovery. And if you need a lil joose to hold you over till CC is ready, just shout hun. We got ya ♥
*****
Gil, I have just the recipe for you then darlin
*****
To any new comers to the KBV thread, pull ya up a stump, throw ya in a hook, and see what bites.. The crazy is not contagious, But voluntary. An adults playground if you will... We all have cabin fever from winter! Light hearted good fun!

Everyones new at one point. *finally stops the chasing the squirrel he thought he saw and lays out a blanket near the fire*

LOL... I think I'll pass on the bacon joose, not brave enough to try it! That might make me run away even more, but something really yummy tasting will keep me around and keep me friendly and placated...Just don't expect any form of domestication, that's completely out of the question!

*Bullet is amazed at all the new comers, ummmm....WolfAtTheDoor....I wonder if he's after Ms Walker in her little red dress? Next thing we'll have Bonnie skipping round the camp fire signing 'who's afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf'....heck I may even put on my red hoodie tonight and sign along. Sure is a crowd from California gathering round these parts of the woods...they must have heard something from the Betty Furd clinic when Bonniegirl was there. I guess the word is out about KBV and it's mighty fine juice. This keeps up we'll be having to scrape a road into the hidey hole, having to finish the dock, put in some RV hook-ups....*

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Speaking of Ms Bonnie.....been missing her hidey-hole exploits....did she have to go back to the Betty Furd Clinic ? Hope she and Ms Walker are okay.....

Hey Basementcat, you sure do look comfy next to that fire. I want you to be careful now....specially if you hear "...here kitty, kitty, kitty"...there may be a WoflAtTheDoor callin you, so you be cautious you hear?

*Gazes down upon the few around the camp fire from up high in a tree* *Looking past brownish yellow leaves and snagged fishing line*

*blowing massive clouds of strawberries and cream vapor*

*** lowers the right hand of fellowship*** %$#%&^ wolfatsomeone'sdoor... left me hangin' there. Oh well... prolly mezzmerized by yssiM's beauty. boB's a blessed man. Your welcome anytime, Wolfy... but take care... the Elkhound's no mild mannered breed. But since she's a she.... and akin to the wild... I'm sure she'll snuggle right up to ya. Auntie M's Coffee is always on.

Now these here tree rat.uhmmmm.....squirrelly commentin things is jest dang rotten to tha apple core..........I will tell yas a lil story an it will be short cause I dont be carin fer them long and drawn out stories some be tellin about their catches and all *and all the fishy lies and all*. This'n is a sad and true story and some here prolly doesn't knowed it. I was a standin at the bus sop a mindin my own beeswax and hummin a lil song and I think it was amazin grace cause I knows the words..........and..well.I was a wearin gloves ..uhmmmm.*should I tell em?.....hhhmmmmm*...........well, I wears gloves cause I gots a rheumatoid psoriasis ...yepper.....looks a bit like the chinese rot and well.......I was a singin and waitin with my angel grandson.........twas a fore the honey hole was even borned and...well..I said to myslf......."Self, is it a rainin?".and I wiped the "rain" offa mah FACE with mah glove and was green brown with a slight nutty undertone and I said ta mahself.."self, is that birdie poop?"..and I looked up and well..........it was a tree rat.....and he was a lookin at me with his beady eyes and he knowed I hate tree rats worser than I hate rude people or plastic grocery bags that break jest as yea git ta da car and all..........and he was a chatterin an more or less squirrelly talkin ta all his tree rat friends and tellin em and they was all a laffin at me and it was horrid and I ain't been the same since..................now that is why they is a talkin about the tree rats and LOL at me...........but there is more to that story............it ain't pertty either.........dem tree rats has taken ta copulatin on mah birhouse outside ah mah window and they is a screechin and a hollerin and is a horrid thang and I has PTSSID..........(post traumatic squirelly sexuality seen it disorder)..enuf said oh that there problem.



basement cat?...............basement cat? Is you Ciegos cat, cause he lives in a dank basement. If'n ya is, please video him in his daily life cuz youtube is gettin mighty slow these days and all and I would pop the popcorn and we could have a LOL or several..............I knows we could................welcome to ya....don't be scaret...we is harmless carazy over KBV fools that need a playground........we play well together in the sandbox that we call the hidey hole......want a few fingers of my frined Ms. Johnnie Walker? She is so smooth and nice in her black dress................here have ya a sip.



Sandy..........I meant it and anyone needin a hand or wantin a lil joose sample cin PM me and I will get Chris to drive the package into town and mail it ff to ya. Might take a while, *Whispers in everyone but Chris from kentuckys' ear*..Might take a while, he is as slow as molasses in January......Ma grandma was slow, but she were old, dunno what his scuse is.



Now, I was a likin you and if'n you is chasin em away, I likes ya better. If'n ya is chasin em cause ya likes em.......well............that would be ever so horrid..simply horrid...........a good cat is what we need around here.....jest watch out for that BiancaMontgomery....she be lovin them kitties and takes em in the bushes and well...........she............UUhhhmmmm....well............she is ......Uuhmmmm........ever so luscious and all..........tis a seductive thing even if ya ain't the kind to swang that way.



I was certain at some time we would be seein a wolfatthedoor.I man with all the little pigs here gettin burned up and all, it was bound to be a problem...........Now about the insane ........look around at the sane people ya see around the world..........now think...........sane?...............is they sane? and what is sane?............Most round this here hidey hole playground is professional , edumacated and perty smart folks jest havin a lil fantasy time away from the horrors of livin with all the "sane people." Now, that is jest my opinyun.........take it fer what is worth *about 2 cents FFS IMO*.....pull up a stump and have ye a good vape with some real nice folks that'll always have yer back.

*bonniegirl walks toward bullet, Ciego *soaked as usual but at least not in the thong*, Sandy K,basementcat,NC lady,wolfathtedoor and of course that hy on lyph one............passes a few fingers of Ms. Walker all around and proclaims*

A toast,,.......ahem..........to the best dang bunch of friends in the best dang place on earth, *well at least ECF FFS* and to Bob and Missy, the best joose makers on this great green earth......salute!

*swigs from can and another from bottle for good measure*

Hey anyone seen that beady eyed Warden round here?..............Boy oh boy.(NOT Bee Oh Bee) this here fire is warmin to the bones, ain't it? Could ya pass the Popcorn and marshmallows , please?..........ahem, allow me to put a log on the fire fer ya Bullet, don't want ya to get a cold chill *or give me a cold shoulder*

Theres my Bonniegirl! Left ya a few Black dress wear'in ladys at your stump, but you was sleep'n and did't want ta wake ya...

***walks to the fire and settles down on a stump by Ms Bonnie... leans over and whispers***

You know Bonnie... I saw the strangest thing. I was trying to find Ciego and noticed a bush moving. Someone was a mumbling about not gonna get me in the bush, but when I walked over to see who it was, they ran off and then later someone was hiding under the dock watchin everyone around the fire mumbling too. I think its Warden Dlite... I saw him pretty clear running from that bush and I think that explosion got to him..

*** Ciego dresses in sweatpants and KBV Hoodie.

Wonder what the Helen of Troy BoB was doing trying to whap me with that towel. AAnd maybe he didn't notice, but someone took some of the new dock rails to use as firewood... or somethin.'

** Shivers. Someone is watching him. **

Aw crap...there goes my Blinky Sense again. I feel eyes upon me, intent eyes, the eyes of a madman...

** Deliberately directs his gaze in a probing arc, surveying all around him. **

(That trick always gets 'em. "Is he blind? Is he faking us out?" heh heh heh. Hide and watch, y'all...)


Hey, everybody! I think I just found a new girlfriend! She's gorgeous, I think she'll Light Up My Life, because I could Truly love a girl like her. We need a romantic getaway or something.

But there's a problem! Some cruel ....... locked her into a chastity belt.

That leaves me with only two options.

Either I find a locksmith... or deflate her and get her out of that silly beaver trap.

"mama bear"?.....hummmmmm didn't Bonniegirl trip over and find a bear suit? There ain't no bears around the hidey hole....there ain't no bears round the hidey hole.....

Ciego................OMG(not the joose)..........CIEGGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!...............WTF are ya doin to that life vest?
Ciego! Stop that this instant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*turns back to fire ring and stump sitters*
Do yall see what Ciego is UP to?...............Look at that.......................OMG(Not the joose) he is ................uuhhhmmm.......well...........he is ...................ahem.................playing leapfrog...................YES!..........he is playing leapfrog with the inflatable life jacket. Why is he tryin to gnaw the straps off of it?

*bonniegirl shakes head side to side and returns to bagged libations and stump and has a seat*

Y'all have just witnessed a man tryin his hand at Hasselhoff style baywatch and he sure ain't got no Pamela Anderson for a lifeguard partner................woe is me............woe is me..............what to do......what to do?

*ears perk to a rustlin in the bushes and peers thru one eye *is easier when the Ms Walker takes over ones eyesight*

Hey ain't that the beady eyed warden DLite in the flesh?

Pass the popcorn.....this novella is gettin good.

OMG Bonnie.......TFF......u have out done yer self here darlin!!! Hahahahaha...Life vest...rotflmfaopimp!!!

@sandy K
I am a lot of things celestial but a star?
No, I don't think I am as shiny as them stars are.
And, them stars always seem to end up in the National Enquirer and /or rehab and well, we all know how I feel about rehabs.
LOL

I picture myself........if celestial...........an alien...............a bit different...........a bit loony...........a bit sci fi..........a bit of ...................uhhmmmm................a big bang kinda girl that believes in God. IDK what that makes me?


I know........................DIFFERENT!

Great idea to repost the flavor list. And just 'cuz BoB is busy, I'll add.

If you are unable to send/receive private messages on this Forum, you are gently yet enthusiastically encouraged to e-mail

orders@kickbassvapor.com BoB and IssyM. will take care of you.

*** Throws down life vest in disgust ***

And here I thought you were the girl of my dreams, but no... Another inflatable imposter with a kapok koochie...

*** Wanders back toward the fire.***

Hey, anybody wanna swap a drop of InferiorVape dot com's Strawberry-...... - Snozzberry-Spruce Needle SplashCrunch for a whiff of some Tootsie?

*** Finds a log that doesn't have a polished protruding knot and hunkers down, cops a squat, takes a load off.... ***

*shaking head and stands............walks an uneven staggered line to her hidey hole in the stump and mumbles in a slurred voice*

Nitey nite all

Nite Nite, don't let the bedbugs bite........but they might..*if'n they can stand the dang cold*

Hold down the fire and the fort Ciego...........watch.........uhhhmmmm......listen out for an troubles and that beady eyed warden and please leave the life jackets to their own........uhhhmmmm..........kind..........of flotation devices.

*notices no one is around the fire and drops out of tree and onto stump next to a trickling flame, Picks up a few logs beside the old abandoned well and thows em into the fire*

Takes a nice long vape and gets warm before placing special jackets on each and everyones stump, then disappears amongst the fog that has rolled in off of the KB lake*

* I Sits upon the old dock casting line into the lake*

*Lets it sit for a few before feeling a huge tug on the line, then another and Bam strike. Flips rod back and sets hook, Now the fun begins.....Just ponders the question what is on the other end, Maybe a large mouth KBV OMG or a pan size Snicker fish. Oh the excitement of fishing. D feels like a kid in a candy store while the new shipment arrives and has to wait for the shelfs to be restocked.*

~boB and yssiM have hands down a friend and customer for life, AND KBV HANDS DOWN WILL WIN SUPPLIER OF THE YEAR....WHY YOU ASK BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER THREAD OR FORUM THAT CAN WRITE AN AWARD WINNING NOVEL WITH REFERNCES TO JOOSE HARDWARE NUTCASES DRUNKIN FISHERMAN TOOTSIE BEAR THIEFS BLIND THONG MAN AND ONE CRAZY WARDEN. AND NO OTHER SUPPLIER THAT CAN DELIVER SPOT ON JOOSE EVERYTIME LIKE THE AMAZING PEOPLES BEHIND KICK BASS VAPOR

*** Stumbles out from the bushes mumbling with head in hands to the fire to get a cup of coffee***

I should KNOW better than to try and drink with Bonnie... Oh my head!

*** reaches into pocket for OMG (the JOOSE) and eGo (the PV)... pulls out a black silk thong***

Uh oh~ What did I DO last night? and where is my PV? This is an emergency!

***madly search on ground around fire - picks up empty bottle of Ms Walker with green ego inside***

OK... I am not even going to ask myself about this...

*** Ciego disentangles himself from the ..... willow, where he has spend most of the night. ***

Glad I don't drink...much. Wow, but that Ms. Walker really hit the spot last night, though.

**Frantically searches...**

Hey! Where's my dang underwear? My vapestack is hangin' out...

** Quickly tucks his VP (the first initial stands for "virile,") back into his Boy Scout pants. **

I smell coffee...Auntie M.'s coffee... time to vape...

** He stumbles toward the fire, knowing that a hot cup of Joe is waiting, but if Joe isn't there, maybe Bonnie will awaken and share a cup with Ciego.**

And maybe I will find my black silk thong. Wonder where it got to?

***hears approaching steps and raises head from folded arms - see Ciego walking towards the fire***

Over here Ciego... Grab a cup of Aunt M's and drip some Folgers... aaahh wait, think I got that backwards.

***pulls out black silk thong and hands to Ciego***

Think you lost something, but not sure how I found it... oh my head! Bonnie and here Ms Walker about did me in last night.

***gets up from the computer and walks over to the door. swings it open and peers out to see Ciego down the path walking away towards the fire scratching his bare ........ bass. Thinks to self..... sure glad he's walkin that direction... ChrisKY is handing him something.... I don't wanna know... but the coffee smells great and Aunty Ms is rising in the sunlight ***

Bonnie... Oh Bonnie... where ya hidin'. I went to town last night and picked you up a surprise. Ms Walker has a new dress and it's BLUE. Now don't go molestin' her... she requires some finesse. **** Sits it down by the fire****

*** walks back and sits on the porch listenin' to the small waterfall up the ways and the cascadin' stream emptyin' into the lake.... totally oblivious to them guys standin' (stumblin') by the fire.... where's that dang bCat.... outa be getting hungry soon.... Draws on a little Caramel Cappuccino. It doesn't get any better than this. ***

Wanders down the path through the woods from the secret cabin to the fireside and finds a stump to sit on , Here Ciego have some Aunty Ms, that will put u right I have to tell u all a story.

I got my catch in this morning and it is well known that I am probably the worlds pickiest vapor,
I am so picky that all i vape all day and every day is my coffee that boB concocted especially for me and then told
everyone about Dang Him !

Well anyway I am glad that u are all enjoying it too now , as long as i never run out! boB are u listening ???????


So back to the catch of the day, I found in my creel a large bottle of Auntie Ms for which i am grateful
but there was more .

A little bottle of monkey bread, cantelope , sugar cookie , spiced cider, pumpkin roll, and maple frosted rolls

What was i thinking ordering that stuff! I must have been sipping too much Ms Walker with Bonnie last night !

Well I have it so I may as well give it a go, even though I know I wont like it .

Timidly I tried the monkey bread, uh there is a problem here ! It is , it is , well uh , wonderful!!!
That is scary! It is incredible!! OMG ( Not the joose)

ON to the fresh cantelope , It smells like cantelope, hmmn wow . It tastes like cantelope !!!!! It has a tiny tiny cool fresh hint of cold ! good grief this is going to ruin my reputation as the most picky vapor !

Ok , now I am worried , but on to the spiced cider,,,, OMG ( not the joose )) It is Christmas eve again ! This is exactly like a good mulled cider ! I am not kiddin here !

Ok gotta stop for a while I am getting dizzy!!

But let me tell u , boB and yissM are killing my reputation ! and giving me a problem, before I had no choices to make , no decisions to bother with , didnt have to think about it . What to do now !! Now i have to pick my vape !

I've been vapin a yr now , I have never found more then 2 joose at any vender that I could tolerate let alone like!

Think i will be sitting here at the hidey hole for a long long time. Besides, Bonnie has some good friends here and Ms Walker is very tempting on a cold evening by the fire

*ganders around figures Ciego pretty smart and on onto him bout towel popping now sporting KBV hoodie* .... "Hey guys, psst guess what i did?" "I went ATV riding in the snow!" ..... *sees fire not nearly warm enough and been neglected.* "I took a ride down Crossfire Trail pretty smooth ride, kinda woodsy" *like he's talking to self here wonders if Ciego doing a pole dance somewhere?*

"Well I'll toss a few more logs on the fire it feels like vape placid around here!" ...... "Strauss95 I'll be in the tackle store staying warm, you need anything before I open the doors give me a shout by PM, or you know of anyone can't reach me that way have em cast a line to orders@kickbassvapor.com "

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh Bob you are lookin mighty manly on that there big 4 wheelin thing..you are so handsome and all and well............you has the nicest .UUUhhmmm......nicest..........Joose of all................I love it.........I do.....ahem.........You are great *hope he buys this load of carp*...........got my trackin.........but .........uhhmmm.............I forgot one lil ole thing...........another bottle of OMG(yes, the joose).............and I soooooooooo need it..........I do.................12 mg would be fine........You look mahvelous....you do........12mg k?bye

*wonders where everybunny is at tis time of nite?*

Hope Ciego is on land FFS.

***walks back to fire after a state store run - looks around and sees Bonnie & boB***

Hey Bonnie...Hey boB... Got your order from the guy at the stat store Bonnie! He said something about your owing him the national debt or something??? He would only give me Ms Walker in the Red dress.

boB - About that railing on the doc... Someone has stole the thing and Ciego keeps falling in again. I think we need to get him a leash! Tie it to a tree (the .....willow of course) so he stays dry. Last night he had too much of Ms Walker, fell in and then did a strip tease by the fire! he even threw his thong at me!

*connecting the dots in his head "round rail from dock.....Ciego in thong..... tied to a tree * "OMG (not the joose) he told me they were using it as firewood... That lying SOB! (most likely not a joose) ..."that's where he gets the coin for all these orders, he's pole dancing under the .....willow tree in that thong!" ......... *ever since bonnie bet that Ford she's acting like she needs a medic.....123

Some tracking being sent now. Should have MOST everyone at the PO tomorrow. I know a few of you have paid and said you were willing to wait until the 1st of next week on the out of stock items.

order via PM or if you are unable drop me line at orders@kickbassvapor.com

** Ciego buries the thong in a deep hole, then realizes it's the same hole where he hid the bear suit **

Ewwww.... Haven't washed this thong thing since page 86. Getting as ripe as some of the juices I vaped prior to finding KBV.

** Listens around, here's Bonnie, Chris and BoB near the fire...hears something about pole dancing...***

Pole dancing? Well, I've done a Czech dance or two, but no Pole dances... wonder what the Fanny Hill they're talking about.


Hey guys! Got a stump for me?

** Wanders over to the fire, fondly remembering the night of passion with the amputee. Now *that* was a stump. Two stumps actually, if one doesn't count the missing nose and/or teeth. **

I think a bungy cord would be more fun for Ciego LOL. And Chris....I was there, that's not how you got the thong!

@ Smoking Bullet - Wha-a-a-a? Whaddaya mean "that's not how he got the thong...!?"

** A myriad of disturbing memories floods Ciego's brain, or what's left of it...***

And ain't nobody gonna tie me to a tree with a leash or a damn bungee cord.

Unless of course she's dressed in a leather corset, thigh-high boots and carries an impact play implement, such as a flogger. And calls me Helen. And sits on my.... log... I mean, stump.

** Imagines novel way to guess a woman's weight. **

Ah, if it wasn't for fantasy, I'd have no fun at all...

** Weeps one single, lonely tear, which sizzles as it falls into the drip tip of his PV. **

Well, well, well Ciego.....I didn't tell you the other parts...I just mentioned a bunge cord

*Bullet slowly saunters up to Ciego…..My, my… you are such a bad boy Ciego, with everything you’ve been through and done lately.,… (a slow and long sigh)…..come to Bullet…. sit your tied self down here next to me and put your head on my shoulder……have a vape of some of my sassy and sweet strawberry slice cake….there, there, now….you like strawberries don’t you honey?*

*sneaks down to the campfire*

"You could make LOL a joose... call it Lemon or Lime and we have to guess which one it is, might be fun!"

LOL(not the joose, since its not a joose(yet))

Ohhh... thats a good one wolf! Not sure how many ppl would like to not know what joose they were getting, Maybe Lemon O Lime, kinda like 7up. Would be cool! I love to hear our customers ideas.

Good morning hidey hole.... What shall be the song of the day?? Hmmmmm....Take me to the RIVER!!!!!!!!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

KBV NOVELLA CHAPTER 69 (again)

*bonniegirl crawls out of her hollowed stump and peeks around....UGH the headache is horrid........feeling around her bosom for Senior` Roberto Tekkiebahn (her Tekk mod....a treasured gift made by a very MAHVELOUS man)....finds it and drips first available joose from bosom,no matter is all KBV...........she has used the rest of the old stinkpot.com jooses to rid her grandmas ole house of the rodents (all layin feet up with tongues a hangin now BTW)......bonniegirl yawns and chokes on a large amount of mucous.........ahem..........that dang cheap blue dressed sheet is bad...........places 4 drops on a 901 atty.......and cries because no atty will match her beloved 801 shorty......(but that is for another chapter in another Iken........UUhhhmmm.......forum..........uuhhhmmmm.....tackle shop!..........YES, tackleshop..........ahem..........she then crawls put with plumes of vapor covering her view............all is quiet and the fire is down to a slow coal and the aroma of fresh coffee is smelled and is soooooooooo nice, she thinks she will have a cup...........alas it is Ciego having his morning vape of auntie Ms Coffee............well, that Ciego ain't all dumb fer sure............she walks up to the stumps in a circle to have some coffee with friends and sees poor wet and ..UUhhhmmm.........naked?...........wipes eyes out with one fist as other is occupied with vaping and sees tis true............it is a thongless Ciego all wet...........poor SOB(NOT a joose, nor should it be)..........he just can't stay out of that water..........now speaking aloud*

Howdy ....OMG(not the joose) there is a wolfatthedoor!.......Hey bullet, sandy, .....hey why is ya holdin neked Ciegos head in yer lap?...........paynomind, I don't thinks I wanna know the answer ta that one *this is a nut house*..........anyone seen my kentucky boy Chris?........wonder where he is motorbikin at? ain't hard ta miss in all that black and orange...........*he is a slow one though*............*not short bus slow, jest plain slow*........How is all mah friends a doin? heard oursweet auntie M was here a visitin.....dang shame I missed her.

*hears a rustlin in the bushes (NOT the .....willows) and peers over*

OMG(NOT THE JOOSE)...........It is that dang beady eyed warden in the flesh.............He ain't dead......*he do look like it though, got that glazin over look in hes eyes, ain't quite so beady anymore.........theys more psycho lookin.........Ya know that Areezona shootin look*

Places arms across chest to protect the jooses in bosom and sits still on mossy stump in shock and awe(not the armed services plan)..................

Well, Howdy warden DLite.ahem............how ya doin?................you lookin well.*well as a snakes belly under a wagon wheel or a pig in the poke*

Tuck crawls out of tent. With hair standing straight up,eyes bloodshot and clothes all messed up.
Now what did I do with my pearl and my morning wake up jooose? Oh there is my morning caramel cap and my pearl. As I crawl over to the sittin log. Drip drip drip into pearl. Now for coffee and I will sit her and wake up before I head out to the fishy hole.

*Gazes back at Bonnie sitin upon her stump shocked ~Flashback~ Fishin Boat gliding across the water away from mr Kickbass's cabin, ~Loud explosion~ fishing poles, tackle box, badge and everything else in boat soaring through the air ~Loud Splash~ I remember now, I seen that smoking bullet before........ ~Split personality~ Eyes slowly shift from beady to ...... off standing by a tree watching as Bonnie starts to hide the juice that is high demand
Approaches the fire that is warming Bonnie "As I sat watching you from the distance a strange thought crossed my mind, Leans down and hands Bonnie a envelope and whispers into her ear*

Turns away from the fire and slowly walks off into the distance back to an old cabin...........

Mornin all....hey Ceigo, you need to put your thong on, we can see how cold you are....no, really, we all can see how cold you are....really. Anyone like to spice up this chilly morning with a little Pumpkin Roll vape? Great morning, sun a shining, mist is lifting, and the fish are bitin. *Bullet feels a strange presence and looks over her shoulder to see a pair of beady eyes peering outta the bushes*......

*Balmy 35 degrees today in MO, takes off KVB coveralls and unveils a thong* "ah ha! I see you have envy Ciego.......you know that envy guys have?" "my thong has the KBV emblem embroidered on it!" *he knows what envy Ciego was thinking*

LMAO!!!!! I'm NOT EVEN gonnna go there.

Dang it! you people *blind* or what? I am not naked, no little white cane is exposed...this is my custom-made KBV sweat suit. What, you think I got a KBV tattoo on my left buttcheek?

** Suddenly remembers the needle, the ......, the buzzing. ***

Aw crap...

Ahhhh, sorry, it's just that it's....well....well....a bit tight for a sweat suit, and the way you were laying on Sandy's lap I couldn't see yer ........so roll on over and give us all a look.

*sneaks back to the campfire and grins wolfishly* Oh, lookie, more letters that say they aren't joose! here's somemore ways they could be jooses! or maybe should be joose!

(should be jooses!)

BTW: Blueberry Topped Waffles
SOB: Sinnamin Orange Biscuits
LMAO Lunkers Major Apple Overload

(should not be jooses!)
SOB:Smelly Ole Bacon

Hmm, can't think of any others right now, but stay tuned your favorite acronyms may just be next!

(Sorry, cant help myself.. I think it comes from all the time I used to spend here on the 'net playing a game called Acrophobia, and have missed it all these years its been gone...but sometimes when I see acronyms, I can't help it and just want to make words out of them!)

So I'm a little odd

<----- not scared of the big bad wolf anymore! With that said I'm leaving and will BRB *grabs a Big Random Bottle of KBV to take with him.

***walks up to gang at fire - looks around and sees poor naked, tattooed Ciego, chest clutching Bonnie, Mix Master boB, and the crew***

Howdy folks! Ciego - That is commitment! getting a KBV Tattoo! I think I need one now... Bonnie, you dropped this bottle on Ms Walker in her blue dress over by your stump; that is no way to treat a lady, lady. I passed the lame...uh I mean Game Warden as I was walking in and he looked TICKED OFF! What you doing to that poor, burned sod.

Well... I am gonna head over and throw in a line for some fresh catches before this hidey hole goes public and we get over run!

***picks up rod and tackle box and walks down the trail whistling a tune***

A brisk 74 degrees here today.... bwahahahahaha.

Bonnie, oh Bonnie (not boB) .. did you get that ole' Ms Walker in the blue dress that I left by the fire just for you. (back in #1207) Had your name on it. The guys said they'd see to it you got it.

I just PIFfed my Candy Bar. It was good, but less to my taste than Tootsie Rolly, another chocolate offering from KBV. I liked it, it just isn't in my top 5.

OTOH, I did get 30 ml. of OMG in the mail today. I'd send you some, BasementCat, but it's at a wimpy 6 mg. nicotine level. <grin> That way, I can vape it all day without an O.D. ruining my afternoon. LOL

It's crazy; I smoked Marl-Burro Red 100's. I find that I need a much lower nicotine strength with vaping. Then again, I'm attached to my PV at the lip. <grin>

** Ciego again dresses in warm clothing. **

Screw this running around in a thong. Who do I think I am.... "The Situation?" Fabio? Jungle Boy? A Chippendales gay....er, guy??

** He is very happy that he buried the unwashed thong. Hopes that some raccoon doesn't dig it up. **

* He is very happy that he buried the unwashed thong. Hopes that some raccoon doesn't dig it up. **

Darn Ciego, I am going to go out to the woods and look for that thong for my Will (my hubby)...going to make him wear it for my birthday..lol. Now ya gotta understand my man....he is all man..I got a story for ya though. He just recently had surgery for Kidney Stones. Before he was operated on he was chilled..kept getting hot and cold. He asked if I could do something, his feet were freezing. I told sure, I got just the thing for you. I brought a pair of flannel booties and he just about died when he saw them.........they were PINK. He wasn't going to wear them but I told him to stop being a baby as I slipped them over his feet. Men.........ugh!!!!!!!!!!! I got no problems wearing my fishing hat from my dad..one of those that the flaps come down a bit and I pushed my lures through it.......but I guess I don't have an identity problem...lol...I could care less what people think.

Had to edit the typos....been tasting Bonnie's Ms Walker tonight but my label is Grey Goose...lol

Usually every Friday night is open house night at our home for our friends but had to bow out last night. We have like 6 cases of beer for the beer fridge steadily. He can't drink his beer for a bit. Goes back to the hospital on Tuesday to have the stent taken out of his wee wee. So I just picked up the vodka tonight and drank with my little ole self and thinking about how to get that darn thong...I want it...I want it bad...lol

**watches a raccoon scamper by wearing a thong on his head. Thinks that Ciego is more hirsute than previously thought. Backs away slowly****

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That thong is mine.

Chris, you will you is comfortable in their sexuality if you do it....try it....it will be a hoot!!

Oh yeah...forgot.....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PACKERS....slaughter them BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 PM tomorrow, you all can watch the slaughter on TV...we are make them weep and put their tail between their legs. We are having our the interior of our home painted in Feb and the painter stopped by today with the paint chips. On his way out, on the porch we have a Packer plaque....he shouted "Go Packers". I knew I like him for a reason...lol

Good night everyone, sleep tight...and don't Ciego bite!!

I have to admit Sandy that I would have built a fire at the end of the bed before wearing pink booties. lol

That Grey Goose sounds darn good though.

Ahhh heck, I was hoping we could use the thong as a sling shot. We could have lined up all our empty bottles on a log and had some fun. Maybe boB will lend us his? Oh boBBBBBBBB.......

Did someone say pink? I love pink , it is my favorite color! Especially on a guy LOL>

Chris after seeing that picture I simply must cook up something for u , it is a must I cant help myself!

Scurrying back down the hidden trail to the cabin in the woods where i stashed my thread right next
to the monkey juice and sugar cookies that boB hides in there.

hmm I wonder if hot pink and neon green would be a bit too much ...............dah de dah dah dah love that song.

** With surprising stealth, Ciego silently winds his way through the woods, barely avoiding the ..... willow and staying well clear of the dock....**

I must utilize all my blind ninja skills now. The gloves must come off. Today I smelled Green Apple joose, and even though I just caught my limit. Green Apple! The Holy Grail of Vapes...maybe. But I don't have any...and I will have some before dawn! **

Pulls ninja hood over his head...backwards....stumbles and falls over. **

Aw crap!

** Quickly recovering, he removes the Sacred Talisman from his pocket. He gently rubs it counter-clockwise, invoking the holy names....**

Stevie! Ray! Ronnie! Jose!

* The mystical power begins to flow through his highly-tuned senses. He then begins to hum the classic "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. Distracted, he falls off the dock.

Again. **

Aw, crap...

***Hears loud splash from dock and KNOWS what it must be.... CIEGO! Walks over and pulls our dripping (not Joose) friend form the water***

Well... I must say the black PJs are an improvement, but why are you holding a plastic dog poop in your hand? Come on dude... Lets got the fire and dry you off. I have a nice clean PV for you w/ some green apple joose that was left for you. Between you and the crazy warden, don't know what is happening to or fine lil hidey hole.

Heeeebeeee jeeeeebeeees, the spirits are about to speak.....(for those of you old enough to know where that came from LOL)

Aw, crap (a saying so popular at the hidey hole)....I got it wrong.....'Eenie meenie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak'. ...

*Sits alone in old abandoned cabin, rocking back in forth in old rocker that was left behind by whomever occupied this dwelling before I*
"I know that smokingbullet is behind the explosion now just how am I going to prove it" "Deep Psychotic laff over takes the cabin" We dont have to prove anything. We have a entire lake to plot and plan and who knows these parts as well as Mr.KickBass and the warden. "It wouldnt take much for me Mr. Riley and The warden to take someone out these parts and accidentally lose them in the woods." ~Takes a long draw on PV and exhales massive vapor cloud~

*drops by to clean up the bottles (some are empty joose) after a Saturday night* "guys still filling out fishing licenses, gonna leave some firewood here for ya's so no one uses the new handrail" "Auntie M, you up for an embroidering job?" "I know for sure we have one small job to do"

Prolly finish invoicing and head for the cabin, nite all. Thanks to all for supporting KBV! We love ya too Rip, TC. boB

*drops by to clean up the bottles (some are empty joose) after a Saturday night* "guys still filling out fishing licenses, gonna leave some firewood here for ya's so no one uses the new handrail" "Auntie M, you up for an embroidering job?" "I know for sure we have one small job to do"

Prolly finish invoicing and head for the cabin, nite all. Thanks to all for supporting KBV! We love ya too Rip, TC.
boB




boB the job of that u speak of is in product development as we type I am cooking up something special for u !

Buurrr.... Cold this morning!

*** pulls out steaming PV of Aunt M's and stokes up fire***

Looks like things might have gotten pretty wild out here last night! Guess everyone is sleeping it off. I'll just get a pot going ~ That should get them up and going. Wait minute... There is a new rail on the dock and looks like someone brought some more wood... boB & yssiM are back! Hope they caught a boat load of fun at that party.. ummm college.. toga... House of Higher Learn'ns. I gots a peice of paper around here somewhere that says I pent four years at one of them places.... a lot of pictures that shows I was having a good ole time, but sure don't remember it!

Anyway... Time get this place all fixed up! Gonna be a BIG DAY! According to boB, yssiM and the lame... uuhhh I mean Gay or...ah Game Warden Fish'n Season opens TODAY!

Keep and eye on Kick Bass Vapor Site goes live tonight! All the great catches right at your finger tips.

***wonders down the trail picking up trash and clearing snags at the waterline***

Gonna be a BIG day...

its the Warden... Morning warden Dlite!

Thanks for stoppin by Rowdy. IMO it's just lack of circulation *knows he sure left one sittin there with that word* The Maple Frosted Rolls is loved by many the other ones may only have 20 or so bottles out there, just a matter of time.

*REALLY wondering what that game warden is up to as he goes to answer PMs and emails* "Hey Chris! Speaking of you and tunes, didn't that game warden sure change his?"

*walks up to fire sporting a KBV tank top due to the balmy 38 today, knows the flattering words sure to ensue from the lush..... luscious bonnie* .......

"Basement cat, all this talk about thongs and warm fires and weather can be misleading. Your juice is mixed shaken and sent to you. We feel we found a way to avoid weeks of steeping for the right flavor but please keep in mind that the viscosity of VG can get pretty thick during transit and not allow blending. Just warm that bottle in front of the fire a few minutes next time and give it a few good shakes"

*between the crack comment and "a few shakes" knows where this is headed*

*quietly sitting by the campfire he feels as if he's being watched. Glancing over his shoulder he now sees that squirrel is back and eyeing his bottle of candy bar* NO squirrel this is my nutty goodness!! *runs toward the bushes clutching his bottle close and wildy waving his free arm doing his best to chase the awful rodent away*

***looks into empty sample bottle and sighs... ***

Why oh WHY do boB & yssiM do this to me! @#%$$#$% ANOTHER catch I must catch! Special K! And I, the eternal Coffee vape fiend? Is this a plot to overthrow the world with yummy vaping goodness? Weaken our wills and make us slaves to Da Joose and therefore the Lord and Lady of the MiX? I sense evil here... Only through foul deeds and evil spells could so many amazing flavors come from ONE place.

***Suddenly overcome with suspicion... looks over his shoulders - peering into the shadows to see the lurking, beady eyes staring back at him***

I know now... I FINALLY UNDERSTAND! This has all been a evil plot by boB and the Lame...uh..Gay... ahhh Game Warden. I MUST STOP THEM~ Tell Bonnie... I have to let Bonnie know what dark, wicked plotting is afoot at the Hidey Hole! or... I might just load up some Aunt M's ans think about it for a while... maybe some Peaches & Cream... OR Caramel Cappuccino... NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!! THE MADNESS!!!!

GET... OUT...OF...MY...HHHHEEEEAAADDDD!!!!!

***Grabs KBV bottles and runs screaming into the woods....****

The Voices.... THE VOICES!!!

*peers out of her hidey hole stump home and looks around.....hey and envelope has arrived......opens the envelope carefully to avoid any problems with anthrax or those chain letters that hound your mind makin you believe the voodoo Gods will sheet upon your life if you don't send ten more...............now, that would be horrid..............read aloud to self*

binnygerl *OMG(not the joose) this here idjit cain't do no spellin, wonder if'n he does any readin?*
We can werk two getter to takes all tha joose. We are the smarty wons hear.
Just a wink at the far pit wear all is vapin and drinkin and I will no you is in
Gaem Werden

OMG(NOT the joose) that there warden is a beady eyed no good scoundrel fer sure............but......we got us a good THINKER and a BASEMENT CAT and a new fisherperson named of flame and anuther un named of zoey and there is a slyfox and a wolfatthdoor.
These here species is shure ta git out oh season if'n all them is a writin in the news about how yumminess this here hidey hole KBV catches is and .............well..........ahem.............that K Y 0MG(Not the joose, tis the worry of the slippery slope).ahem......................that KY Chris is a buyin up all of the catches even after his net is already full and well the Tootsie could very well go endangered! Think.........think............think..bonniegirl, Ya gotta watch (not the wrist kind, the keeping time kind...............no the lookin out kind.....ahem)........ya gotta watch out fer yerself.........these here thong wearin, .....willow huggin, Ms Walker swillin, Auntie Ms Coffee lovin folks will all jest push ya away the minute that there honey hole is open fer the season and Kablam...........all is done............I need a vape and a swig of mah Walker family and some good thinkin ta figger this out*

*bonniegirl places the letter safely in recesses of bosom amongst 15 bottles of KBV joose and a few other necessities a well primped lady needs.........like a cleansing towelette, a chapstick, a good moisturizer and a nice perfume.......ahem.........she then proceeds toward the fire pit and looks around.

Howdy NC Lady, Sandy K , Hey Ciego, you is lookin ...uhhhmmm......wet.........uhmmm........drippy......uhmmmm.....moist...........*aawww jest fugghettaboutit*Chris KY, MINI!!!!!!!!!!!!Bullet, and all mah friends..........How is ya'll doin?

Pass the marshmallows and popcorn........this here is gettin Joosey(not the vapin kind)

*can't wait for his jooses, so he can try them out..make sure they are within legal size limits and other such stuff! and eyes bonniegirl's special hiding place for her jooses and letter*

"I want to try that one, don't worry I wont fetch it myself!'

heh.. come on joose bite my line!

Bullet pull up a stump and have a vape.........ain't seen ya in a while

Where is that K Y *Jelly,,,NOT a joose* at....ain't seen him with any brown bags has ya?

And,,,,,,,,where is that warden,,,,,,,,,,,,ahem,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I have........uhhhmmmm..........I have some.............uhhhmmmmm
bizness...........Yes some bizness with him >wink,wink>

Seen ole Ciego? The .....willows don't look molested........Uhhmmm.........dejected............uhhhmmmm...........well, uhhmmm, they look okay an all........was jest a wonderin

***slowly opens eye...sharp pain in head... looks up to see large oak tree - juice bottle scattered all around.***

Oh my head... What happened? I REMEMBER! THE JOOSE!!!

I remember figuring the whole thing out! Its that Lame...Gay...ahhh Game warden! He is trying to get all our Joose for himself.

I need to find Bonnie, Ciego, Bullet, wolfatdoor and let them know to watch out. he's watch and waiting...

***climbs to feet and gathers joose... starts back to the hidey fish'n hole and all the good vapers there***

I wonder if Bonnie has any of that Ms Walker to help my aching head?

***Sees camp fire in the distance and friends all setting around... also spies a dark figure hiding in the bushes just outside the fire light***

Is that the Warden??? What does he have in his hand??? WAIT! thata Ciegos thong and a Racoon! Poor lil furry devil!
I am going to stop him right now!

***searches on ground for a limb... moves as quietly as that ninja Ciego approching the Warden from behind***

**Bullet is having a hard time….one foot, then the other…..one foot, then the other….as she carefully walks (one foot, then the other) up the path from her pickup truck to the hidey hole. What a night, what a day,….oh heck, it’s night time again…...sleeping in the back of the truck, shell or not its not what its cut out to be, blow up mattress or not, there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home. Can you vape yourself into a stupor….man she sure felt like it. She started from A to Z everything she had from KBV….it was a vape fest….she couldn’t charge enough batteries to keep herself going….that and the California cabernet she was sucking up all night….geez, what a brain ache….I need to plant myself in front of a nice warm fire and veg out for a while….wonder who’s at the hidey hole….maybe I need a little of the dog….I know it wasn’t the basementcat…that bit me…..that and more vape…..pass the butterscotch bon bon…..**

Wandering down to the firelight , Hi Bonnie, ChrisKy , uh ChrisKy where are u going with that tree limb? hmmm well no matter,
How u doing Bonnie, and of course your friend Ms Walker is looking fine tonight ,

Wait !! What is that aweful screeching from the bush?? ChrisKy is killing something in there ?? WTH is going on in our peaceful little camp site here ? OMG its the warden running like mad for the lake and he appears to be uh well hiding eyes, a bit lacking in the clothes department .

Kinda cool for a sprint and swim in the buff dont ya think?

ChrisKy come back here ! U will fall off the dock swinging that thing that way! opps .........well there goes the warden..........
.............................and there goes Chrisky too!!

Oh my, hmmm well I'm not fishin them out so I hope they can swim , sitting down to share some Ms Walker with Ms Bonnie

I needs me a recliner by the fire! No log or stump gonna work for this tired mixtress...Y'all are keepin me busy...
New species on the horizon, ****caramel popcorn**** giving it a go! also some snapper turtle ..nomnom

SNAPPER TURTLE????????????????????WTF?(not yet a joose) Dies it have a bite? Is it turtley? Snappery?

More information please..............................I will have 2 ounces of that wonderful caramel popcorn.............tasted.........is a winner, like that buttery, cooked in a kettle soft gooey yummy stuff....................I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Back to our regular scheduled Novella in progress:

Howdy Mini, how is ya?
He is where?.............with who????????????

OH, the warden tooooooooooo?

I better run check see if they are alive or molesting Ciegos girlfriend the lifejacket...................BRB(NOT a joose)

*runs toward the envelope leaving Gay.....uhhhmmmm........GAME warden and of couse Chris from K Y will surely slip out of this trouble........*Yeah, pun intended*

Pass the caramel popcorn please, I love a good fight between a tide and a half drunk man.

***Slips toward that sneaky Lame...errr..Game Warden...Slowly...slowly... closer...closer... Raises limb over head_ ready to bring it down and put an end to the joose thieving so and so!

At the last second the raccoon squeals in his grip and startled, Warden Dlite sees me with limb in had and his pants around his ankles. Like a flash he bolts from the bushes running for his life heading straight for the dock.

I run after him, not letting him get away this time... As I chase him down the dock my foot gets tangles in Ciegos girl friend (the life vest) and trip into Dlite sending us both into the lake...

The frigid water yanks my breathe from me as I sink into the black... all is getting dark... all I can think is- NOT THE JOOSE!!!

Above me I see a bright light... The Light? I am not ready for the light!!! and then a figure appears - Long flowing hair... The face of an angel... She is reaching for me... I stretch out my hand... Feel her fingers clasp mine WAIT!!! See smells of Tootsie and Ms Walker? Angels Don't drink???

ohhhhh...............Why................ahem..........hello Chris...........you ok? Wheres the warden?...........is he alive? was he a swimmin with the fish?.........did ya see a envelope?................beady eyes?

Go set by the fire an I will see if that beady eyed warden is ok.

*runs hurried up the bank and down to the fishin hole.........yells in a whisper.................*

Warden........warden................is you OK????????????

*turns toward direction of fire and friends and yells toward them in best actress voice to prevent them from knowing her true intentions*

Warden You beady eyed thieving lower than a snakes belly under a wagon wheel..............drown jest as shure as ya stole from all uv us............*looks to see if fire watchers are payin attention and they are...........commences the acting*

I wishin ya had cement boots on ya dirty scoundrel..........hopes ya run into a big catfish with sharp whiskers that pokes ya in yer member*

*commences whisperring and pleading........in a quiet tone*

here warden, grab ya this here girliefriend of Ciegos and holt tight...........*OMG(not the joose, he is a big un*.........put yer feet on the bank, ya is givin me a hernia with yer weight.........c;mon up here and hide in dem bushes and I git ya towel and some libations.....................What?,,,,,,,,,OK, I git ya some good KBV joose too............oh, OMG (Yes, the joose) Picky fer an almost dead man floatin ain't ya?

Bonnie what have u got there ? It looks like a half drowned raccoon with the mange. OH , hmm its the warden, a bit soaked or drunk one.
He kinda smells too! For petes sake dont set that down here Bonnie ! Yuk! smelly old half drowned skun er man.
He is kinda sizzling too, me thinks u set him too close to the fire Bonnie. OMG now he is starting to smoke ( not the cigs)

FPS do i gotta do everything myself ! Grabbing smelly old half drunk warden from the coals of the fire,
He needs to go somewhere else now!

Dragging him off to a stump further from the fire , even that may not be far enough ! Wretch, gag , Bonnie where u put that Ms Walker ? I am a sober person but right now I need a jolt to get rid of the stink!

*Hides in bushes drip drying from the near assault from that there ChrisKY feller.....Man to think he'd get so upset that I was borrowing his there raccoon.*

*Looks around and see's Ms. Bonnie walkin away to assure the others round that fire over yonder that the Warden is in fact dead*

*psychotic grin and look comes across the face of who was once called the Warden*
"Yes it is I Mr. Riley" ~Runs off back to old cabin and puts on some nice warm black jeans and thick black hoodie~ *Jumps upon the lawn mower parked in the rear of cabin right next to Raccoon Cage that says ChrisKY's loving raccoon.

*Lets out an Evil Laff and takes off into distance twards campfire*

just sittin here at the hidey hole drinkin my 3 fingers of grey goose watching to see when Ciego emerges! Hi Missy! Why don't you come and join me? We can talk about your kids in college...can give you the scoop...I had three kids graduated from college...I know everything!

Hopefully, the Caramel Capp sample is in my order........you talked me into it....I am anti coffee so we shall see...if I give a review, it will be a true review. Waiting on OMG, Skipping Stones, Cantelope and Special K...gotta try the Special K...see if it is the same vape that I lovefrom the sample! Should be here soon. Had friends in today for the Pre-Bowl games...........yay Packers........nay Steelers.....and was talking about your joose....don't have any left to share..........next time around I will make sure and have some. Plenty of Bud and Miller Lite though!! Of course, my Grey Goose, three fingers to a glass.

I know that Bonnie is tapping that Ms Walker. That's Will's drink...he loves Scotch...little pricey though!..sticks with Bud light most of the time. He makes lamps out of Johnnie Walker bottles for the Craft Fairs........amazing how many people buy them.

Time for bed. Good night everyone. Ci

*walks up to fire head hanging* ............ "sorry guys, KBV had a banner day and didn't allow me time to finish the site." ... *knows that's not very consoling to the ones patiently awaiting the site* "I'm contemplating shutting down ordering for a day or two to allow time for a day or two to finish up" " it's a last resort measure and we'll see what tomorrow brings"..... *knows those that ordered are happy campers as we other than the back order items are nearly caught up!*

Doing our best and hoping to keep the season open, and apologize the site didn't go online this evening. I pulled 16hours on a Sunday but did make progress and am fairly close and feel the hardest part is behind us! Nite all, boB

*walks up to campfire for a quick cup of Auntie M's before work on the site, not sight which reminds him* "Guys where the heck has Ciego been?" ....." the lake's been frozen I know he didn't drown" "LMK (prolly not) if ya see would ya?" ............ *heads off to work on the orders that await and get this site up*

** Ciego looks at the depleted stack of firewood. **

Dang, it was so cold over the weekend. Minus 16 Friday morning, don't think it got much higher than 5 above all dang weekend.

** Reaches for 30 ml. bottle of Caramel Cappuccino. **

OH NO!! *screaming*

** Shakes last 3 drops from depleted bottle into atty. ** Out of Caramel Cappuccino? This is unthinkable! Oh sure, I have Strawberry Slice Cake, Auntie M.'s Coffee, Jamaican Ginger Mint, Peaches n' Cream, OMG (yes, the juice)... but no caramel capp? Unthinkable!

** Covers himself with six warm quilts, puts thumb in mouth and begins to shake and cry. **

So this is withdrawal. So this is cold turkey. Kinda like Frank Sinatra in "The Man with the Golden PV...."

** Imagines the confusion among thread participants over his obscure movie reference...**

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novel Volume 69, Chapter 69, Page 69, Paragraph 69

*** Strolls up to the Hidey Hole camp fire and see a strange moaning bundle of quilts on the ground - on closer inspection it appears to be the long lost Ciego***

Ciego - what's wrong??? Why are you on the ground in the fetal position with your thumb in your mouth? No caramel cappuccino??? You don't say... That is a tragedy!

Ciego ol buddy... You know I got ya covered. Just got an ounce in last week. give me that pretty golden PV and I'll load you up. Can't have all this shaking and crying on the floor scaring the new fisher-folk. Quit your blubbering and puff some good KBV while I get the fire stoked up.

*** builds up fire while thinking to self: Self - there is some strange goins on goin on around here... Ciego with the DDT's or whatever they calls um and that nutty Warden, Joose stealing, no good polecat and Bonnie acting all strange - she did not even want that new bottle of Ms Walker I brought her... It's gonna be up to us, Self to figure this out...***

Ciego - you stay by the fire and calm down... I gots some lookin into to do!

***heads into the woods in the direction of the ol cabin***

*Jumps off lawnmower and hides it behind the old cabin* Walks through front door and takes a seat in rocking chair, They didnt even notice me last night around their fire. That ciego feller was all bundled up under a mountain of old rag quilts and didnt hear a thing when I left that box of goodies and another envelope on bonnies stump.

**** standin by the fire holding The Book and a ratty old folder.... reading passionately ...... "dearly beloved... we are gathered here in the sight of"... (oh dang... wrong ceremony)..... " "Yeayyyy, tho I walk in the shadow of the valley of day..uhth, I fears no evil...." Wait a minute... where's the body. "Ya'll told me he was dead an' I don't even see a hole in the ground!!!" *** scratches head and walks around looking for the carcass of that ol' warden...*** "I'm going back to the porch... Call me when the deed is really done and we'll put 'im in the ground proper"....

** Ciego whiffs some good KBV C.C. **

Wow, thanks Chris...saved my life this morning.

** Takes in another puff of Caramel Cappuccino. ** Damn! That's yummy stuff.

** Opens a catalog from a men's lingerie supplier. **

Too bad I can't see the pictures. But the descriptions in braille seem pretty good....

Men's Silk Thongs.... Now in fashion-tastic patterns and colors. Ego Pink, Cappuccino Brown (I think I dated her in high school, back before interracial things were popular), leopard print, bearded squirrel print, spanked monkey, ..... willow green, shaven beaver....Wow, what a selection. They're pretty expensive though, and I'll be blim-blammed if I'm going to pay that kind of money just to provide some raccoon with fashion headgear.

**hears Basement Cat racing through the underbrush, shouting 'Squirrel!' ** Wonders if the squirrel has his thong on his head, having taken it from the raccoon. **

Hey Kids!! Remember, if for some reason you can't PM zbasspro to place your order, there's always:

orders@kickbassvapor.com

There appear to be some new flavors, including Green Apple (can't wait to try this one) and Peaches n' Cream (oddly enough, the names of identical twins I dated in high school...nice guys).

*slinks down to the fire and jumps up and down for joy..quite funny watching a wolf jump up and down on all four legsZ*

YAY(not a joose) My jooses are out for delivery! My jooses are out for delivery! Soon, I'll be kicking bass with the rest of you! joosie joose!'''here joosie joosie joosie! come to the wolfie!

*sings*

Come mr. mailman mail me my jooses daylight come and I wanna roooam!

heh

*thinks about Ciego in thong* "Hey that was vape flaci....OHHHHHHHHH Placid! I thought maybe it wasn't quite solid enough for ya" "Running to the PO now anyone need anything while I'm out"

Our caster, I mean our Broadcaster about covered everything in the above post *not that there was a lot to cover*

OMG(NOT the Joose) OMG(NO not the joose again)OMFG(Not a joose.....hhhmmmmm?)...........A WOLFATTHEDOOR HAS THE TOOTSIE?????????????????Bee Oh Bee? ..............How could this be?

I thought I have made it perfectly clear that the
TOOTSIE IS ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Now for our regularly scheduled Novella Chapter 69, page 69 and paragraph 69 1/2

*bonniegirl scoops the envelope and brown bag from her mossy stump and slithers into her stumpy (not the amputee of Ciegos past) hidey hole....(*that's hidey........not hiney FFS*)
Peering out the mossy entrance (which faces north and has not a frickin thing to do with this story but allows the reader to picture the scene better)assured she is alone albeit the tree rats which seem to torment and stalk her always with their copulating and screeching and pooing ways. But, that is another Chapter...............ahem............now she carefully unseals said envelope with a stick to prevent germifying of the hands which are needed to open the bags contents and for play.............ahem.........uhmmmmm.........well, they are needed for other things, YES................OTHER things. She reads aloud to self*

Ahem
bonneygerl,
dang good thang thet yuo was helpin me frem the drowwwnden
*ain't fer sure a english spellin champion*
We has ta git da joose frem dem. when we es at da fahr
wink lahk thes an I will make preten I is veary sick an ya cin take all of dem jooses and hide em en yer boosem*does he really think I can see him thru this here writin? He sure ain;t the sharpest tooth in the mouth*
sencerly
gaem werden

*bonniegirl now opens the brown bag to find a bottle of mad dog...............*Why that cheap no good beady eyed slimey snake.............bringin me a cheap bottle of wine ..............I shure ain't a whino, I is a lot of things but no one calls me a whino*

*Bonniegirl tucks envelope deep within the large recesses of her bosom and crawls out of the hole draggin the Mad Dog behind her*

YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Howdy do all mah friends, how is you all?

I am fine............. this is a fine day ain't it?
Anyone seen the Gay.......UUhhhmmmmm.........the Game Warden? I so need to be a speakin to him ..............I do.
*she then drips some Tootsie into the 901 atomizer and cries and mumbles incoherently about shorties missin and this skinny lil thang and somethin about no justice in the world and 801..........in shorty..........UUUhhhmmmm.......short..............she and her words are a mess of misery*

*She begins singin in a slow off tune and very morose way*

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..........Nobody knows my sorrow, .............nobody knows the trouble I've seen ............sob.........boo and Hoo and sob and.........sniffle and boo and hoo and............more sniffles........this is horrid,,,,,,,simply horrid.

No, I am a scared of wolves cause of the little piggies story.............and I have all my piggies and live in a brick house................but one can never be tooooooo sure about these things and well...........the Tootsie is all mine.............it is.......ask anyone and they will tell ya.............they will.................*well, they better ffs*

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Chapter 69, page 69 and paragraph 69 9/16

*** sneaking through the forest, like the Great Blind Ninja Ciego, I approach the cabin in the woods... The race lawnmower is gone, so I believe the lame... aahh Gay... Err Game Warden Dlite is out about his evil plots. I quicken my pace and circle to the rear of the cabin where I discover I pile of empty KBV bottles and a cage holding Ciego's miss raccoon.***

Why would he kidnap the raccoon??? Where did he get all this Joose???

***He questions just create more mystery... Opening the rear door I enter the abode of a madman~ Discarded clothing, newspaper clippings, Ciego's old, unwashed thong and...and... Oh NO! Ms Walker! Bottles and bottles of the walker family! Red dress, Black dress, even the coveted BLUE dress. What is the meaning of all this maddmess? Searching The crumpled up paper on the floor I find unfinished letter... hard to understand the writing***

"Deer Bohny - Wes dun foold dem dumm fishrs... Soon wes wil hav all da Joose fer ourselff"

WHAT!!! NOT our Bonnie - She CAN'T be part of this evil plot! I have to get this information to boB & yssiM! They have to be warned that the powers of evil have joined together and polluted our beautiful Hidey Fishin Hole!

*** Grabbing a blue dressed Walker woman and the crumpled up note I run for the door and into the woods to find the founders of our clan to put and end to this madness! There is Joose for everyone ~ This cannot be allowed. On through the trees I sprint in the hope of stopping the thieving pair before they can strike.***

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

KBV chapter 69, page 69, paragraph 69, posi........ possible launching this evening. *Knows what they thought posi meant............ boB <----- thinkin bout the posi traction rear end in the 69 Mustang he had*

And Tootsie is endangered and unavailable ................ahem....................and maple frosted rolls and candy bar and OMG and .....................Uuuuhhhmmmmmmm.............YES, The Tootsie is no longer available to anyone ...........*EXCEPT BONNIE*






*crossing piggies *hope the wolf at the door is not creepin around* and fingers this works*

hey..............................Where is Ciego?......................Hope he ain't overboard again..............OMG(not the joose) that guy is a walkin disater ..........you would think he was blind or somethin.................WTF(prolly a joose soon) am I talkin about? .................HE IS BLIND..........................OMG(Yes the joose) dripping in beautiful* Who am I kidding*........901 atty............................OMG(Not the joose) I just want the luscious flavor of OMG(YES the jooses FFS) on an 801.............................is that too much?

Sob and Boo and Hoo and another boo and hoo and a sniffle and a woe is me and another boo and a hoo..........

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen ...Nobody knows my sorrow..........nobody knows the trouble I've seen.......Hic..........Hic


Pass the caramel popcorn please....this next chapter should be interesting

Is that blue dressed ms Walker yer caryin the one you said you'd watch for Bonnie when I set it on the stump? (#1207)... What's that you say... her and the Warden are in cahoots???? Well, call me after you do both deeds and I'll put em in the ground good 'n proper.... WAIT JUST A DANG MINUTE HERE..... I knows Bonniegirl. Known her a spell now.... she's a little tetched from the ms Walker overinfiltratin' her brain... but she's honest as the day is long. (well, lest you cross 'er... then she'll kill ya... which i guess in most parts aint legal.... but here in the hidey hole... it just might be) There's some bearin' of false witness goin' on here. She's a good'n and by the way... if you was supposed to be watchin the blue dress ms Walker, how'd the warden get it? Yep, there some false witness'n goin' on here. Some castin' of aspersions (not a lure)

There's somethin' smellin' contrary to the purdy waft of the joose.... (hmmm "purdy waft"... could be a new juice .... aroma therapy???)

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, Chapter 69, Paragraph 69 19/32

***walks away from his run in with HyOnLyph - shaking his head***

They got to Hy too... It's like disease! The greed for the Joose it taking them all. Who can I even trust? boB & yssiM are the only ones... They made this amazing, delicious Joose for everyone, not just a few greedy, selfish vapers! This must be stopped...

Who is this walking the trail to the Hidey Hole? Why it's that renowned fisherman Matafact! Toy found it - the KBV Hidey Fishin Hole! What's that? You PMed boB with your order? That is the best way with the store not open just yet... yssiM & boB will set you up, never fear and you have not tasted anything until you get ahold of some of these fine catches!

Well, welcome to the Hidey hole, walk on over to the fire and get you a cup of Aunt M's to knock off the chill... I gots a few things need doing, but I'll be back around soon.

***shakes matafact's hand and continues down the trail in search of boB & yssiM to present the evidence against Lame...aahh...Gay...errr Game Warden Dlite and the traitor Bonniegirl!***


Don't forget to PM your order to zbasspro or email orders@kickbassvapor.com

** Ciego awakes, stretches, yawns and rubs his eyes.**

Another brisk morning here at the Hidey Hole of Holy Honey....or whatever the Sam Hill it's called....

** Frantically searches for PV, finds it and drips a few drops of OMG...the juice... into his trusty Mega Atty. **

Maple Frosted Rolls? I can't imagine it.

** Quietly dresses in a new camo thong, jeans and a KBV birka.... discards the birka and grabs his trusty "BoB for President" sweatshirt. **

Hey! Where did Miss Raccoon (and my black silk thong) go to?

** Wanders toward the fire, stumbles and goes face-first into the .....

Willow. **

Aw, crap...

** Part Dos **

**Ciego returns briefly to his tent and examines his latest project.**

This PV will run at 3.7, 5.0, 6.0, 7.2, 9, 12 and 4800 volts! It's kind of odd-looking though...

** The device Ciego has constructed looks like a cross between a chrome-plated piggy bank and an industrial vacuum cleaner with marital aids stuck all over it. **

Now all I have to do is to find a deep cycle marine battery... Hmmmm.... there are a lot of boats around here. And a riding mower or two. I'll bet I can "borrow" a battery somewhere around here. Of course, without the optional high-output micronuclear reactor, I won't be able to vape at 4800 volts, but I'll get by.

** Puts the huge PV that resembles a chrome-plated piggy bank crossed with an industrial vacuum cleaner with marital aids stuck all over it onto a little red wagon and tugs it out into the forest path. **

The gang won't believe this. And, it will be worth it to watch the ladies explore this wonderful new invention.

** He tests the unit by clicking a button on an elaborate remote control. Only one protrusion, formerly known as a "Squirmy Rooter" begins to rotate, pulse, piston and vibrate. No vapor. **

Aw, crap!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, Chapter 69, Paragraph 69 43/64

***Exhausted after my long search of the Hidey Honey Hole for or benefactor boB to expose the evil plot of the lame..aaahh..Gay

?eerr Game warden Dlite and the traitorous BonnieGirl to highjack all the fine KBV flavors for themselves. In the distance I spy boB on the trail heading to his secret laboratory for a another day of labor creating divine KBV nectar for all the fisherfolk. Increasing my weary steps I finally catch up to boB?***

boB, boB! You have got to see this? I have been hunting for you all night!

***I pull out the crumpled up letter to BonnieGirl from Warden dlite explaining their evil plan to steal the Jooses for themselves and the half empty bottle of Ms Walker in her nice blue dress (well, its thirsty work searching the hidey hole!). As boB examines the evidence I explain the events of the last few days and my actions to hinder their plan.***

We have to stop those low down, dirty rotten, no good, two faced, good for nothing, lower than a sows belly in six inches of mud, lilly livered, mean, nasty pole cats form this evil plot! There is plenty of your amazing joose to go around? everyone can fill their nets with these incredible catches, no need for no stealing!

What we need is a posse! Get the other fisherfolk together and hunt down those varmints! Teach them to steal the Joose we will!

***As boB is still peering at the crumpled up letter I hear a rustling from the bushes on the side of the trail? I turn to look and?. Everything goes black,***

To Be Continued?

(Jingle music starts)

And don?t forget folks? You can order all your favorite KBV catches by PM to zbasspro or email your orders to:

orders@kickbassvapor.com

Let us lure you in!

(Jingle music fades)

Now back to your normally scheduled BS!

*goes sniffing through the woods looking for a opossum, not sure why Chris wants a opossum, but what the heck..Though not sure what an opossum can teach someone about not stealing joose, but once again, not gonna ask questions. He wants a opossum, he gets an opossum*

*bonniegirl is hidin in the bushes awaiting the arrival of the FBI *Frickin Bass Investigator....yeah....just like a mall cop* That Slippery K Y Jelly bowl of a Chris dude is up to no good and will foil our devious plan......she carefully peeks between the ..... willows and a few......ahem.......whipped cream covered "marital aids" and that mutiny on the bounty boy Chris arrives and is showin Bee Oh Bee a letter...........OMG(Not the joose) could it.........is it...........could it be THE letter from the Gay.......uhhhmmm..............Game Warden to me?????????...........WTF(Prolly a joose I tasted) should I do?..........Smoke rises from Bonniegirls ears as the thinkin is very hard with the etoh content abusin the brains and all and then there was that syph...........uhmmm....that uhhmmm.........that sickness..........Yeah, a sickness......that done messed upon her thinkin..........she then posps out of the bushes and approaches the KY and Bee Oh Bee..........*

Howdy...........fine mornin aint it?.oh, ya seen that there letter that warden sent ta me..............yah he is baddun..........up ta no good he is..............a beady eyed one............I never ever let em know a answer..............I was a jest cumin ta tell ya Bee Oh Bee bout this horrid schemin that Gay one is up to.................we has ta do sumpin ta stop em..........he ain't no good and I even seen hima vapina joose from candyland and not even our species..............ain't that hypocritical? He is a low down one he is.............whatcha gonna do be Oh Bee?.....Tell Nosey...........Uhhhmmm.........Bonniegirl everthin ya plans ta do.....cause I cin help ya...................I cin..................And did I telled ya today how mahvelous ya looks in that there KBV logo fishin shirt? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Manly and Studlllllllyyyyyyyyy............OMG(NOT the joose the musckles) you has a bigger pack than a situation I know..............is that real under there or is ya wearin them men spanx..........*Thanks be to God foer spanx, they is a womans bestest friend *..............nah, not you manly outdoorsman you is Bee Oh Bee...........you is all natural ain't ya................you is smellin mighty fresh and manly too...........and them there Calvin Kleined mens ain't got nuttin on you......no way........you is one fine specimen of a man............ahem...............and you too Chris...........you is lookin so good.............want a few fingers of my treasured Gold dressed Ms. Walker? I knows you been a workin so hard on the fishin hole site GPS in all and well the Gold dressed Ms. Walker is so smooth and all............*Dear God, et em buy this here load of carp, Amen*................Well, I be on mah way over ta the fire pit to look out fer that rotten scoundrel Warden...Y'all be havin a wonderful day and keep up the good fishin bee Oh Bee, cause my catches is just as tasty now as when thy was first caught................Toodles...............bahbye.........

*Bonniegirl rushes off toward the fire ring and her friends with bosom loaded with species and PVs and all mods jingling together ans batteries a fallin all over and curlers filled with sticks and ..... willow fluffs and sweat running down her neck into the cleavage which may cause label staining and make her a Ciego vaper *a surprise everytime you vape as ya caint read them labels* and that would be horrid*OMG(Not the joose) I believe I got me some drainbramage runnin all over lookin fer a GobblerHunter ta shoot me a nice turkey fer dinner, this Ms Walker ain't cuttin it no more fer sustanance...as a matafact...........I is perty hungry right now.............I really is.............and I gots werk ta do..........lookin fer the Warden ta warn him.*

That's "posse," not "possum" or "pu....." Wolf.

Good morning all. I am still reeling from the events of last night.

** Slumps onto a stump and pulls out a KR808D-1, loaded with some no-name cartomizer. **

No KBV for me today. Can't read the labels on my 174 bottles of juice. I think I mixed up my KBV stash with some stuff from other juice makers...

Lets' see. I got Piffed about 1 ml. of something called "Stinky Finger." That doesn't sound good...and it smells worse. Oh, here's another bottle. Smells like bacon grease. Might be SwollenLipsVapor dot Com's famous "Drain Trap."

And here's another one... "Teargas Surprise."

Oh, this one smells really in-ter-est-ing. I think it's called "Bear Bim Bounty." And this one.... *sniffs* Smells like the girls' locker room at Our Lady of Perpetual Yeast High School. I am *not* going to vape that...

Nope, better just stick to this bad menthol cartomizer.

** Dejected, he slumps, elbows on knees, wondering how the day could get much worse. **

Oh yeah, and I finally popped my first atty last night. Heard it go pop, even. I have other attys, but I'm getting depressed about this whole vaping thing. Mrs. Ciego's pack of Marlies is calling to me for the first time in weeks...

** Wanders away from the campsite, heading back toward home, winter and disappointment over an entire Forum section. Not this one. **

Wonder what they'd do if I started a thread called, "A Neurotic Getaway." Probably ban me for life...

"No-bod-y knows...the trouble I've seen.... No-bod-y knows...my sor-row...."

*trots back to the campfire.* I found an opossum posse, will this do?View attachment 28490

*steps out onta d'porch n down towards the fire ... already been hours on the puter n need a break... the faint sound of Queen in the background comin from a pickemup truck with foggy windows ... more thumpin bass (not the fish) than music but a whisper of "We will we will ROCK YOU, rock you". See Ciego over by the fire with tears drippin down 'is face staring into the deep recesses of an atty... poor guy looks like he lost a puppy.....Bonnie walkin away with a GobblerGrenade in one hand, a bottle of ms Walker in a red dress in tuther and all manner of PVs n joose fallin' from her busomishness self..... she steps outa the way of a gaggle?? of possum rushin across the clearing. Possum??? whatthe..???

I hears the howl of a distant sheepy-crossydressin' wolfatthedoor... echos throughout the hidey hole from no particular direction.... kinda reassuring (not unsure) and soothing. ..... boB and KY are havin a deep conversation... best not to interupt... might get my head chopped off by that crazy KY bike ridin' man-on-a-mission (not africa)

....wonderin' if anyone else noticed the pervy frog starin' up ms Boobs... u Boops skirt in yssiM's cartoon..... poor Ciego... musta caught the ole froggy's perv disease from fallin' offa da dock so many times. poor ole boy got the sickness of the froggy's disease, warts 'n all... and his obsession with .... uh..... items of the aidin'-of-marriage persuasion...maybe theres a vacuum... uh.... vaccine for that..... hmmmmm ...*

Hollers out at the chance of interuptin "Hey boB.. Been prayin' for ya. and since there's no one ta marry and no one ta bury... this ole parson's got some time for that. Maybe you need some volunteers doing some of the lesser tasks.... some local vapers packin' envelopes and bein' paid in joose.(yes precious joose ... finer 'n gold ... if Bonnie doesn't steal it all...) Been a-prayin' fer yer success... and a little rest... and lots of fun."

* expectin' a hole (inda ground type not hidey fishin' hole type) to be dug for that devious ole gay.......uhmm.....Game Warden, any day now... figure that KY bikeridin' man-on-a-mission (not africa) gentleman 'll do 'im in.... then I can get about the business of the speakin' of restfui words over 'im ....hmmm waitin' around... um.... sounds kinda ... vulture-ish... gonna have ta work on that..... think I'll have a vape of that deeeelishus OMG (yes the joose) ... yeah, that'll fix er right up.... *

*heads up t'da porch and the rocky chair*

* Hears tin can start rattlin* "Ummm hello....WHAT YOU MEAN THAT K Y FELLER BE SNITCHIN me out.....Ok well I tell ya what i''ma do...............................duck tape..................3 gallon bucket of henrys.....................Baby calf....................you catch all that................ok I'll catch you later on down by the fire i'll signal your entrance with some redneck dynomite.........Bye M.......ro

*pokes head out of hidey hole and looks around.....sees a dillpickle lookin at me.....WTF?(Not the joose...YET)...I love dillpickles......I do.........and I hasn't eaten in days.....the Ms. Walker is so dang fillin...............Vapin on the OMG(Yes, the joose) OMG(Not the joose) it is so dang good and I am havin trouble seeing here.....(waving vapor out of eyes, not good to vape in very close quarters with this jooses)..........Hey that mark with the Guitar was here and no hank Williams cryin in yer beer songs? WTF(Yes a joose, jest not out yet in the hatchery)...........no warden or that KY Jelly rollin FBI in Chris either......looks like the coast is clear..crawls out with brown bag of Ms. Walker in her black dress and a bosom full of various KBV jooses and several batts and a sundrie of PVs tucked safely away...speaking to self aloud*

How in sam hill did that there envelope the warden give ta me falls outta that bosom....all seems so secure in dare.......idk(not a joose, but should be in Ciegos honor)*

*speaks aloud for all to hear in a fake sing songy voice*

..........hey how ya doin wolfie? long time no see.....see ya got rid ah that there costumey sheepin outfit.............you is such a kidder.............LOL(Not a joose but could be)..........How ya doin preacher Hy.them there prayers you been a sayin is makin a big good feelin round here we is needin some good religion aside from the KBV idolin.....that ain't right is it?..............gotta thank th ones that givem the bilities to mix up such good jooses............anyone seen my friend bullet? or sandy K?.......matafact?...Godzilla?..........Mini?...........all is a missin atm(not, nor should it ever be a joose).This here fire is nice ain't it?....cozy.....hey watch yer toes, the wolf is here and we all know what he do to the piggies!*

*Makes note to self not to leave puter for over an hour at a time* "WTH (ehhh) you guys telling everyone about KBV or what?" "Just sold the last of the caramel capp and Crossfire Trail........... sure did Blaze one! Gone! Caramel Capp I will resume shipping Friday, but Crossfire Trail may be Monday


*sees Ciego with his head hung low* "Ciego, my all day vape is my Caramel Capp, I have enough to make one bottle. I can get by OMG (with the joose) so if it'll help shoot me a PM or email and I'll give ya the last bottle and I mean that.

Other than that Both Caramel Cappuccino and Crossfire Trail are temporily out of stock!

Inventory on everything else looks good and can be ordered via PM or if you don't have that ability orders@kickbassvapor.com

**** sees Bonnie crawl outa somewhere and standing over by the fire*** BonnieGirl. Yer lookin' particularly sob... uhm..... clear-eyed this afternoon. So nice to see you. Here try a little KBV Buttercreme Icing (the joose) in LR atty... it'll put a smile on yer face. A nice peaceful vape for such a buxom.... er.... beautiful lady. (makin' sure to keep eye to eye contact what with all that joose and mods and PVs hangin outcher .... uhm.... outcher.... uhm .... self. )

Yep I think all of everyones' a prayin and well-wishin and general lovin support of boB and yssiM and this here KickBass pond is raisin' things to a whole new level. an theBigGuy (not a joose but could be) is blessin their socks off. 'course there's no denyin their Godgiven talent for mixin 'n tastin 'n website makin 'n takin care a bidness 'n such.

Sounds like ya may be seein' the error of yer ways...what with warden conivin' 'n idolin n' such.... 'n coveting thy neighbors... uhm..... joose. No worries. Fergivin' is in the air here at the hidey fishin hole. BigBillBlueBook says the makin of amends is a good thing, least to my recollection ..... no worries.... set a spell 'n drink it in... (NO, NOT the ms Walker-in-the-red-dress) *** it's early 'n there's time for that later. Do ya have any idee what the passel-o-possums is doin here ???? Do they fish??? cuter'n a bugs ear... until they smile(?) atcha.

I'm sure th'others'll gather in soon... *** thinks to self that I'm sure glad that thingy of Ciego's burnt to the ground 'n prayin he's having an encouraging evening....'n the frogy peepers-virus (from the cartoon) lets up soon.... 'n glad to see the sure-is-easy-on-th-eyes Bella makin the videos... w/ KBV joose ... ***

Round em up Bonnie... they're comin in.....

ahem...............I have the WTF(YES the joose)............I am ATM(Not a joose) dripping 3 drops on a new but well broken in and atty cleansed of former flavor on a 510 at 3.7 volts on a 1100mAh EGo batt.....vapor production as usual is a tremendous KBV amount.............ahem............clearing fog for taste test.................WTF(Not the joose) is it?................uhhmmmm.........it is a bit fruity...............not fakey fruity and not overpowering fruity...............not .............all fruity..........is a bit creamy and .........uhhmmm...........dreamy................and relaxing..........WTF(Not the joose) is relaxing a taste?.........Uhhmmm.........I am a bit confused because the inhale was just described to the best of my abilities *without the .ahem....assistance of Ms. Walker*...and the exhale is more full and bold...............a warmer caramelish kinda full body...................no not the Pamela Anderson kinda full..................oh..........IDK(Not a joose) WTF(Not the joose)...............WTF(The Joose) tastes like...so I just say.................it is a 5 out of 5 of IDK(Not a joose) for WTF(YES, the joose)..................Best description is it is WTF(A GREAT Joose)...................*runs off to PM Bee Oh Bee to add to order WTF(YES the joose)

Now I have a headache .......who's on first?.................what's on second?.................LOL(not a joose yet but with this thread prolly should be)

Don't worry about WTF(the joose) we got an opossum possee to seek out Bonnie and the game warden guy... We got to root out their evil, remember? So, what shall we have the opossums do? I know, I'll distract Bonnie and you put one down her pants, see what happens...

*grins at Bonnie* Hi, yeah, i got rid of the sheep costume, but its running around here somewhere with a mind of its own.. you know those sheepies they be tricky...almost as tricky as piggies hiding in brick houses. Lets go see if we can track down that sheep? I think its getting away, follow me.

*Bullet stumbles out of her pickum up truck in a stupor….fightin with the PT cord she forgot to unplug…too much vaping…has a slight smile to her lips* …that was soooo good. This red hoodie smells like cookies, and caramel, and waffles, oh my… and…and….dang I smell good enough to eat, sure glad there aren’t any more bears in these parts.

*Sun is a settin, getting dark and cold as she walks the path looking for a warm fire at the hidey hole…she sees somthing run across the path….then another….and another…..* WTF was that? Too big for rats, too small to be a basementcat, not big enough to be a wolfatthedoor or a slyfox…..WTF? She feels something grab and hook onto her ankle, then another, then onto her knee and thigh…..heyyyyyyyy….another one crawls up her arm and cuddles up to Bullet’s neck, yet another hangs on her shoulder licking her ear…another one reaches into her pocket for her joose and PV....it’s opossum cling on’s….!*

You guys sure are cute when you’re babies but .... ugly when you get old…..where’s your mama little guys? Whater ya doing out here all on your own? You sure do look scared, what’s got you all worked up little guys? Bullet walks towards the hidey hole, little cling on opossums hanging onto her legs, arms, shoulders and around her neck…….mamamamama…….

*trots up to SmokingBullet and the opossum posse to make sure they are all ok*

Well, didn't know they would do that, but looks like they are safe enough... Think you can get them to lure Bonnie and Clyde out of their hidey hole? Not sure how good they are at learning things, but the sure are cute.. I suppose we could get some baby skunks for a new posse if we have to, they're kinda cute too... Hmm, skunk and opossum posse? Maybe!

You know how the saying goes, animals are the greatest at judging character....but I'm still not their mother LOL. Get these little freaking critters off me....ahhh, can I keep just one?

I figure with everybody falling in the lake, setting fire to stuff and the nurse spending a lot of time with the Walker family, somebody might need a medic around.
I really don't think the skunk would be a good one to keep, seems to me there are enough odors around here with the vapors and the thongs..

** Ciego wonders why the possums are actually ambulatory, as possums, in the presence of other species typically well...play possum...**

Comparing my thong to a baby skunk. Now *that's* nice.

** Sadly shakes head **

I'm glad there's a drunk nurse and a not-so-drunk medic here. I am so sick right now. Spent the afternoon watching Grim Green and Mister Smokification videos. I feel like I've been wrung through a wringer. And what's the name of that Perfect Electronic Cigarette guy?

And did Shan B. really shave her head!?

And did I really hear Leafart (spelling?) endorse an overpriced, rebranded E8, saying it produced tons of vapor? Really???

I gotta stay away from youtube. See guys, when you only have sound to go by, the mind fills in the visuals. I bet you'd all laugh at my conception of all the video reviewers I've listened to today.

** Shakes head in wonder....the emotion, not the Stevie **

I'm still staring at the blown-out atomizer. Can't believe "The Immortal" is finally dead, after nearly three months of hard, steady use and two resurrections...

** Wipes away a single tear and picks up a KR808D-1 manual battery fitted with a 24 mg. V4L Nuport carto. **

Gotta find another atty... I'm going through KBV withdrawal.

** Begins to wander away from the campfire, runs straight into ..... willow. Again.**

*bows head in a moment of silence for "The Immortal"........ remembers the horror of the night he lost "Chippy"* "Ciego I feel the pain, Chippy was a used atty when I got him, his paint was chipped hence the name" "I spent the whole summer with that lil guy, we fished, we swam, for crying out loud we vaped 75MG together!"................

*wishes he had the words to say to comfort Ciego but knows there are none.*

Thanks for the offers, but I just caught my limit day before yesterday. Now I have plenty of Jamaican Ginger Mint, Peaches and Cream, Strawberry Slice Cake, OMG (yes, the juice)... I'm trying to vape up the rest of my KBV stock before reordering my beloved Caramel Cappuccino...yeah, good luck with that Ciego... LOL

I have a few 510 attys arond here. Now the trick will be to *find* them. See, I'm not just blind and a klutz, but I am also incredibly disorganized.

** Begins erecting 250 foot tall radio tower **

Now that KBV Radio has been licensed and approved by the FCC, the FDA, the FDS, the ETOH, DHS, DHL and USPS, I figure we can be on the air in just a couple more weeks. ChrisKY has a 1930's vintage transmitter that will crank out 35 kilowatts of rockin' power!

Now all I need is a cool DJ name...

Eaton Pickett? Hugh Jardon? Mike Oxlong? Harry Nutzencrack?

Well, better sleep on that one...

(wanders in riding a ATV with a hitch pulling something) Where is that midget Ciego? He either couldn't read my post or dismissed it as amateur stuff, sigh. Got this Comm Heater on a going out of business deal, specs:

Heat Input 300,000 BTU/Hr
Air flow 2,500 CFM
Fuel Type Caramel Capp, Choco Pretzel, OMG
Heat Output 254,400 BTU/Hr
Fuel Consumption 2.28 Gal/Hr (15.07 Lb/Hr)
Tank capacity 27.7 Gal
Flue diameter 5.9 Inch
Compulsory flue draft 0.05 WC
Dimensions 68.5"L x 27.6"W x 37.7"H
Net Weight 264 lb

Now 250K BTU, 27 gallon juice tank, forget the radio flyer, tell me we couldn't turn this into a vape making monster? I tend to think Commercial/Green stuff, not home use. Toss in a few solar panels, maybe a windmill, we could really have some fun with this thing! (course 27 gallon juice tank, not sure if BoB can handle orders that big) Maybe if we section tank off into 3 9 gallon juice tanks-1 Caramel Capp, 1 Choco Pretz, one OMG? Talking about taking Vaping to a whole new level here, lol...

Add in spots/adapters around to hook any hardware ya like, betting would be a mell of a hess, but passle of fun!!!

*Bonniegirls ears perk at word "NAP"....................jumps out of stump (NO, NOT ciegos old girlfriend)*

Hey all.............NAP?................NAP?.................Well I happen ta be the bestest dang napper in the whole wide earth an all an I is shure my bright thinkin and smarts comes from dem naps...................Yepper.............a nap'll do ya a world ah good..........if'n Ciegos atty went POP in da night and after a nap he is a burnin bright ..............was surely da nap dun did it. I takes my constitutional every day around 1PM EST like a clock a workin................ask Bee Oh Bee an he'll tell ya...an Missy too........cause they knows I am jest not available ...............I is nappin ..............an back when I was a nursin(Not the babies with the patients) I would take mah lunch and afternoon break tahgether an make a one hour nap in a recliner in the locker room................I did..............an all knowed I did.................even the Doctors knowed it............and all my patients knowed it.............I......uhhmmm...........pottied em and medicated emm and I tolt em I am a takina nap and if'n ya need anythin............I will be back in a hour...............If'n its an emergency....call on that there bell an the nurses aid I paid real good will help ya out real good.................it made me a better nurse an a better person..............I is shure happy with yer atty resurrection.....................and I is shure it was the Nap. I had a resurrection, too. Mah oe dead 801s ......dem shorties I been a booin and hooin about............I got me some of this here special atty cleaner from Bee Oh Bee an he issa gonna offer it............I put 6 drops in the dead atty and waited about 20 minutes and blew it out and well...........I dripped an it was like brand new!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I was thinkin oh callin on preacher HY to say a prayer to God to thank him for the miracle joose that dun brought mah precious loved one up from the grave of a deep drawer to heaven............back to mah beloved PV and chuggin along blowing vapor like a champ.................

I is so thankful fer that atty cleanser.....HY .............Preacher Hy..............he don't hear me..so...........cover yer ears sows I no hurt ya'lls ears.................

PREACHER HY........................PREACHER HY...................WE IS A NEEDIN YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*gathers up all but one of the opossums from SmokingBullet* Well, you can keep one I guess, besides I think it likes you and wants you to be its new mama.. I'll make sure the others go back home, or just hang out around the fire and bug other people too, but while ago you did smell good enough to eat LOL(not a joose, but should be.) Believe me, I'm a wolf, I know these things when it comes to smelling good enough to eat.

Don't worry though, I don't bite, so no worries about getting eaten.

***Mist rises from the water of the Honey Hidey Fish’in Hole…Another beautiful today for great KBV catches. As I look back on the events of the previous few days, I cannot get the idea of bonnieGirls involvements in the Lame..aahh Gay…eer Game Warden Dlite’s evil plan to steal all the fine KBV Joose for himself out of head.***
.
Is she really innocent or is this just another ploy? Did Dlite come up with this all on his own?
.
Oh well… I have put all the evidence into boB’s hands so I can kick back and get back to some Vap…err Fishing!
.
***I walk over. the campfire, add a couple of logs and pour myself a steaming cup of Aunt M’s to get the day started and find myself a stump. Pulling out my trusty Turbo AV with a fresh atty I drip, drip, drip some yummy Pumpkin Cappuccino and lay down a cloud of my own mist. Behind me there is a rustling sound and out of the bushes a herde of oppossums emerge running toward BonnieGirl’s stump w/ wolfatthedoor in hot pursuit howling and barking as he runs by.***
.
Howdy Wolf… Of and running on a fine morning!
.
*** I pick up my rod and get comfortable for a nice, quiet day and a full stringer.***
.
KBV Hidey Honey Hole…Does it get any better?
.
***A loud commotion comes from Bonnie's stump and in the bushes on the other side of the campfire a pair of dark, beady eyes stares from the shadows…***
.
To Be Continued
.
Remember kids… You can grab all the fine KBV flavors buy dropping a PM to zbasspro or emailing your order to: orders@kickbassvapor.com
.
The fine list of flavors can be found on the first post of this thread or at Kick Bass Vapor
.
Kick Bass Vapor – let us lure you in!

*bonniegirl makes a note to self*

Self,
Lissenin makes ya more friends.
remembers to remember dat.
an lissenin cin helps ya ta learnin sumthin
sencerly
self

*she then pokes head back into hidey hole and contemplates this new lissenin stuff an thenkin it is a tall thin ta think bout but she decides it may do her good ta lissen to the jest lissenin and lissen more bout lissenin and jest lissen an if'n ya lissens ya cin git more learnin and God hisself knowed that ya cin do wit a good bit ah learnin...so remember ta lissen to learnin and keep this here note in yer bosom ta remind ya to lissen and do sum learnin*

*takes long swig of brown bagged libation known as Ms. Walker whos dress is now rubbed half off and peeled back to reveal how full she is*

*tucks note in bosom already quite full of many bottles of KBV and all sundrie of batteries and mods and attys and cartos and well.......used tissue (a few or ten or so) and......a few personal necessities like chapstick (cherry flavored cause Katy likes it) and personal hygiene wipes and toilet tissue and a rain bonnet for the curlers*

A wise Episcopa-buddist once said....

'We have two ears, one mouth and one anus for a reason...."

I'll leave you all to figure that one out for yourselves....

** Scratches self in places better left undescribed in a public fishing spot.**

G'morning everyone. Late night last night.
I still feel really crappie (the state of health, not the pan fish).
I think I'll perch (the pose, not the pan fish) on this here stump and have a vape, now that the Immortal has risen *for the THIRD TIME * from the dead.
(the mortal state, not the (autocensored to remove drug name reference) influenced rock band).

"Sugar magnolia, blossoms blooming Head's all empty and I don't care...
Saw my baby down by the river...
Knew she'd have to come up soon for air...."

Hears a Phil Lesh bass (the instrument, not the fish) line in his head.

** Puffs a mouthful of OMG...yes, the juice). **

If you've just stumbled upon this thread, visitor...you might well be confused. Lord knows the rest of us are.

But it's not tough to understand.

KickBassVapor makes some of the most delicious juice ever vaped. The flavors are complex and rich, and they don't get "old" even after a day of vaping.

Check out the flavor list in post #1 of this thread. If you'd like to order, just PM zbasspro here. If that doesn't work, cast him a line at

orders@kickbassvapor.com


And now, A Romantic Getaway for y'all.

"..... willows, cat-tails.
Soft wind and roses.
Rain pools in the woodlands
Water to my knees.
Reveling, disheveling
The summer nights will bring...
..... willows, cat tails, soft wind and roses....."

See? -------has nothin' on me.... LOL

Sorry Bonnie.... I'z a little late t'the party today. Gots ta pay bills w/ phone talkin 'n puter buzzin 'n all. But I heard ya callin' out.

PTL (soon to be a joose) It's rizzzzzennnnnn!!!... jus' like ole Lazarus (not the Dept Store in Columbus)

* looks to the heav'ns * Lord, weez a thankin ya for the miracle joose that boB and yssiM concocted by yer deevyn inspirin' that brought back that good ole boy The Immortal. Heez a good'n Lord an we thankye today for howevermanymore days he's given to good ole Ciego. An thankye Lord for the hands o them what made the joose... Bless dem hands Lord.... Amen. .... can I get an Amen??


**pauses to ponder a bit.... If'n the inspired joose can do that for an atty... wondering what it can do for the restofus.... Lordy... if this gets out poor ole boB n yssiM 'll never get any sleep..... I suppose that's a good problem....**** "Bless 'em Lord" Can I get another Amen....

I have question.....*raises hand and is called upon by self*.....................


IF LOL were a flavor.................what would it be like?..................input needed please in the revolution and activism to make LOL a RL flavor.

MY choice is a fun fair like flavor like cottony candy or waffles and ice cream or icecream with chicolate sprinkles or rainbow sprinkles or yumminess to the tumminess...........................

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Choose the flavor for the name.............ahem...................ok so we are bass ackwards.......................well.............we are!

I've fished for an angry trout or two...but my fly kept falling down... must be that wimpy rod...

** Exhausted by his attempts to come up with additional trout fishing puns, Ciego finds an open stump and sits down.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Chapter 69 page 69 paragraph 69/100


*bonniegirl peers out of her ole oak stump of a tree hole and wipes eyes...........sooooo much trouble gitten em open and lookin like a wole in a bright flashlight..........once the eyes adjust she peeks around lookin for sunday school teachers, girl scout leaders , school principles, and mean girls and all other sorts of "morally high falutin" peoples.........none are seen...just her friends from the honey hole which gives her the all clear to arise from the hole.....and now the ritual of the packin of the bosom with all the necessities of life.......PVs of numerous voltage, age, condition, sentimentality and such..........KBV jooses....all the treasures in large sizes and fiddles and arranges to assure that the tootsie is placed in a convenient easy to reach above the bosom area.............a lil sack of various batteries in case of a .......uhmmm...........well..........a......ahem..........a discharge (NOT the smelling kind, the battery kind) a sanitary cleansing pad....a cherry chapstick (Well Katy Perry likes cherry best and all) a tissue (or a dozen or so) in varied stages of usage for
leaky jooses, noses, crying and sobs and boos and hoos and all other matters of uses and of course she grabs the brown bagged Ms. Walker in a nice black dress.....she then primps the curlers to give appearance they were freshly placed and pinches cheeks to give her some color {IDK(not a joose, why but her mean as a polecat Grandma told her to do it and also to have clean underwear before leavin the house in case of an accident.....don't LOL(Maybe close to being a joose) your Grandma prolly said the same to you}She then commences the maneuver out of the close space and decides a few good draws on the PV were prolly best and does so and makes a horrid but ever so heavenly fog which quickly dissipates.....her she comes....and stands to settle the knees which have swollen of late with the arthritis and give her such pain that she and Ms. Walker will "discuss" in a short bit....well OK, now....she takes a long swig and burps and smiles with a peace of stomach healthiness......*

Well, Howdy do to all my good friends here at the honey hole......how y'all doin this here fine evenin? I se ya'll got a good fire a goin..........warm ain't it.........any news or gossip ta tell?...........go on now tell nosey.....ahem...........tell Bonniegirl yer troubles............what?...possums?..............why no.............I do not like possums and no I do not find em cute in anyway.........they is nuttin but pointy nosed tree rats.and well after the............uhhhmmmm.......the .....ahem............well.........them tree rats dun sheeted on my face and all and I gets the shivers a thinkin on it...........

*all becomes very quiet around the fire as Bonniegirl is a tryin real hard to do the listenin and all and makin friends and a learnin sumthin and bee Oh Bee said it and it must be true.................tapping her foot for a while................she is itching to talk and everyone just sits and looks at the fire..........Bonniegirl passes the ms. Walker around and when it reaches her it is near empty........she surrounds the mouth of the bottle with the edge of her old flannel shirt she just dragged thru the moss and wiped the mouth "CLEAN" of germiness and takes a large swig*

<insert cheesy suspenseful soundin music played with a low slow crescendo>

*bonniegirl speaks quietly*

Anyone seen that beady eyed warden around? I was jest a wonderin............I was............ahem.............jest wonderin

***Sees Bonnies empty bottle of Mrs Walker and sighs...***

Guess its time to bury the hatchet! Bonnie CANNOT be part of that rotten lame..eerr Gay...aahh Game Warden Dlite's evil scheme and I cannot bare to see a grown woman cry!

*** Reaches into saddle bags on trusty H-B and pulls out a bottle wrapped in a black velvet bag... The Best! The Glen of Glens! Glenmorangie 22yr Cherry cask.***

This ought ta do it...

***Walks up to Bonnie's stump by the fire and hands her the velvet wrapped bottle...***

Mrs Bonnie... I brought ya this ta make up for thinking you were a plotting with that evil Warden! I just know that a woman of your... aaahh... Busty... errr Stature could never bow to such evil ways.

With all the wolfs a howling and bullets a smoking the Hidey Fish'in Honey Hole fisherfolk need to stick together against that Dlite.

***Pulls up a stump next to the Bonnie Girl, In the distance he sees ciego with his little red wagon coming down the trail with his next invention in tow.***

Oh lord... Is that a kerosene heater with a leaf blower attached??? Why is there a inflatable woman on top??? Ciego... won't that rubber stuff melt?

Ohh Bonniegirl.... nice to sit here watchin the fire. Kinda messmeryzin aint it. n' thanks for the swig of ole ms Walker... nice to see you've changed her dress to the black one... suits her just fine. sure dose take the chill outa the bones and makes the creakies a little more bearable.

That ole KY genemen obscounded with the blue dress I left for ya 'bout a week ago or so. I think he's still packin it around but I'd be surprised if he hasn't drained that one. * an' here he comes up with nice velvety bag. Makin' peace. Love to see it... jus love to see it*

Now Bonniegirl, whatcha wanna go and be lookin around for that beady eyed warden fer? He's no good for ya. He's a makin ya promises and spinnin whatifs 'n plantin idees into yer heyyyyud. Let 'im be unless he's ready to come clean.

My, but you have a mighty fine buso..uhm.... uh ..... stash there. *Again makin' sure to keep eye contact* assorted volts n KBV jooses n tissues n Tootie (not Dustin Hoffman) Seems like yer fixin to travel a bit... or maybe just needin a little teddybear huggin kind o feelin nice.

Bout that time-o-nite for the tree rats to go nitey nite and the posse ... possums to be comin out. *thinks to self...Still not sure what that's all about*
Thinkin that old sheepy-crossy-dressin wolfatthedoor outa be climbin outa the shadows any minute now. An the rest of the friends be along right soon.

It's comfy here on the stump. It's a good nite at the KBV hidey hole fire.

Tis preacher Hy.............Tis......an that there warden he ain't no good fer nuttin.................OMG(not the joose)..........WTF(NOt the joose) is Ciego haulin?........................preacher Hy.........cin we says a prayer or maybe 12 fer ole Ciego? He been down an out an all and them .....willows and fallin off the dock and not knowin which way is which and what joose is what an well he caint see an all...*gotta feelin he would still be a bumblin accident awaitin to happen even ifn he could see* ................he is a makin a vapin machine cso big al;l of the honey hole can vape on it at once an I don't think it is a werkin out fer him..................he do be needin some prayin over.............he does...............preacher hy.

*Bullet sits on her stump (that doesn’t sound right?) next to the fire warming her boots….”*hey, give me that you little varmint…don’t you mess with my PV and keep your little paws off my joose!” She tries to love the little opossum…but OMG (not the joose) he’s an ugly little feller. I gotta move you away from this warm fire cause you’re starting to smell like a …well…like a…..varmint. Something comes to mind…don’t people eat opossum? The thought crosses her mind again.…if this little critter keeps attacking my boobs and keeps grabbing my PV and Maple Frosted Rolls, I may just throw him….I mean drop him…. into this nice fire here and roast his little .... Ummmm….. sauté opossum in whiskey sause…. Sounds like something the WolfAtTheDoor might like or maybe even the SlyFox…..”Hey guys, anyone hungry?”

***Watches Ciegos latest contraption come down the trail - Takes a long pull on the Velvet wrapped bottle and hands to Bonnie.***

This gonna be interesting.... Ciego... What exactly are those mouthpieces made of and WHY is there welding tanks strapped to the that kerosene heater! I really don't think you should be playing with that can of ether... oh crap. CIEGO!!! DON'T light that...

***Ciego yanks on the pull start while spraying ether into the kerosene heater and twisting on assorted...aaahh marital aids screaming "ITS ALIVE!!!! ALIVE!!!"***

Run for you lives OMG (not the Joose) this things gonna BLOW! Bonnie - Grab that bottle and head for the hills! Preacher man, better say a prayer for fast feet...

***The fine Fisherfolk of the Hidey Honey Hole scatter into the woods as the mad inventor Ciego primes his monster PV - His final crime against nature and the laws of physics he dumps four bottles of OMG (the Joose) onto his contraption ant the sky lights with the explosion. The last thing we see is Cigo stripped to his KBV thong flying over the docks laughing like a mad man***

Fried crispy opossum pieces come raining from the sky…enough for everyone…where’s the dipping sauce….Bonniegirl, did ya ever make any dippin sauce?
A cloud of vape come showering upon the hidey hole, the smell of Buttercream Icing, OMG (yes the joose), Candy Bar, Waffle, and Tootsie fills the air…we all run beneath it to fill our lungs with the magical vape. Ciego has succeeded….this is the biggest vape in the world! Inhale……everyone inhale…..and crispy opossum for everyone….

For the lord God Omnipotent raineth....*Opposum? OMG(YES, the joose)

OMG(NOT the joose) this novella is gettin................uhhmmm...........welll..................ahem...............sci fi ish?

Ms. Walker an me is a goin to our hidey hole an sleep this here one off.................I ain't crazy, I ain't crazy, I ain't crazy
I ain't crazy, I ain't crazy...................git offa mah leg ya dang possum I hate ya a sure as I hate dem tree rats....git off...........I ain't messin with no varmits tonite...... .I ain't.................I ain't....................I ain't...git offa mah bosom....now ya dun went toooooo fer..................I will ring yer neck shure as ya is breathin......................

*walks to stumpy hole shaking head back and forth and mumbling somethin about ..... willows and fallin off docks and varmits and gay wardens and bosom belongins and Walker this and walker that....................suddenly a soft singing out of key morose song is sung*

Nobody knows the trouble I seen...Nobody knows my sorrow............nobody knows the trouble I seen.................

*lights out for Bonniegirl for this eventful evening*

<cheesy drama tunes play in a western twang in a cryin in yer beer style>

*plops down on the stump next to fire at hidey hole* lilith and minx great to hear. I'm thinking SmokingBullet is onto something with Land O Lakes kinda goes with the theme.

"just wanted to say hi guys, I gotta greet the new members at the door.....er PM....er email..... I gotta go answer some questions BBIAB (try that!)"

I know, i know, I'm late for lap warming, but better late than never *pounces and lays down in a lap* see? I'm a nice wolfie! hehe

** A crispy yet sodden Ciego emerges from the lake, juice and opposum guts dripping from him, looking like a french-fried version of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. **

Aw, crap...

But damn! You see the vapor comin' out of that ....???

** Giggles hysterically and flops face-first into a muddy spot on shore. **

Blub.

Blub.

BoB....

** Scrambles to his feet and frantically searches for his PV. Unfortunately, as he is only wearing an opposum-guts covered KBV thong, he has no pockets....and ends up grabbing...**

Aw crap. I can't vape with Winky, a.k.a. The Little White Cane.....

** Charges toward the fire, yelling "Gimme a vape! Somebody gimme a vape!" and runs face-first into the .....

willow....again... **

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, Chapter 69... Ah heck, you know the rest!

***the whisper of the wind through the leaves and the sound of Bonnie’s tree rats scampering through the limbs awakens me… I still see the flash of light and the gigantic cloud of vaper that preceded it when the Ciego’s latest turbo charged, kerosene ram inducted PV of doom went one toke over the line - Sweet Jesus! I climb from the tangle of shrubs were I was flung – the image of the mad creator removed of his clothing (except his KBV thong) flying through the air, marital. aid in each had screaming “It Worked” as he hurtles towards the black depths of the Hidey Honey Fish’in Hole.***
.
Sweet Mary & Joseph I hope all the KBVers made it out in time… but I do have to say that was one HECK of a vapor cloud…
.
***Chuckling to myself I wonder in the post apocalyptic remains of the campfire, uprighting stumps and picking up the refuse and opossum entrails. Bending down to rearrange the stone firepit I notice a half full bottle of Tootsie on the ground***
.
Now That’s the way to start a morning! Free Tootsie! To the winners or in this case survivors (not the TVshow) go the spoils.
.
Pulling out my PV and stoking the fire I reflect on my adventures here at my beloved honey hole and realize what a gift good friends, good laughs, and GREAT Joose are at this time in my life, and so many others I am sure. What mayhem and chaos will today being? Who know with this cast of Characters… Bonniegirl – our Mistress O the bottle and the tail…eerrr Tale… Dlite – The maniacal Game Warden and joose thief extraordinaire. Ciego – the mad (and blind) scientist and exhibitionist. Never forget The Preacher HyOnLyph, our wooly Wolfatthedoor, beautiful smokingbullet, sandyk, passerbyeus, The reknowned Mini_art (Aunt M herslf)… The list is almost endless. We also have our many new friends… hairball, gotcoffee, minx, lilith79 and many more.
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And none of us can forget the founders of this her fish’in hole – boB & yssiM the Master and Mistress of the Joose. Working their fingers to the bone to put out the best darned vaping nectar to be found.
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Yup, whatever happens, it gonna been a good day!
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***looks around as the rest of the KBV Family starts coming from their rest for another day of Joose, jokes and just general fun around the camp fire… Cracks a smile, waves…***
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Morning Folks!!! Got a fresh pot on and a almost full bottle of Tootsie – Pour ya a cup and fill an atty, the water is always fine at the Hidey hole! And for Gods sake find Ciego some cloths… NO ONE needs to see THAT this early in the morning!
.
Remember gang… PM your orders to zbasspro or drop and email to orders@kickbassvapor.com
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A list of flavors can be found on Post #1 of this thread or at Kick Bass Vapor. Still having CC issues on the site, so ordering cannot be process there as of yet, but boB is hard at work to resolve the problem and will keep us posted.
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KBV – Let them lure you in!

Wandering down to the campfire with a pot of java in one hand and the lovely bottle of Auntie Ms in the other , here Chris , have a cup of Jo and some for the atty too

Ciego, OMG Ciego , that is no way to treat a lady first thing in the morning! That thong is , uh , just not right ! Hmmm on the other hand ....... I could do something interesting with it . Perhaps a tasteful bass on the front with a nice KBV to remind Ciego where he is . Seems like he could use some reminding most days. Of course he couldnt see it , but he could feel it , OMG( not the joose ) what am I thinking !

Alright enough of that , what u fishin for this fine morning Chris? I see Bonnie is stirring from her hollow stump over there,
She looks in a bit of a daze with that wolf parked on her back .

She seems to be loosing things from her bosom this morning, Wolfie !!! U are supposed to vape that not eat it!!!

Its gonna be an interesting day here at the hidey hole I can see that already.

Here comes boB! With a creel in his hand full of something . Wonder what he has there, hmmmm ,

*The maniacal mystical Mr. Riley strolls up from behind a large tree that he was hiding behind and pulls up a stump next to the near dead dwindling fire. Leans over and grabs a few logs to help get it roaring once again* ~So whats the word on that snitch we have running around these parts, Man I'd hate to be that guy. If that warden feller finds out you know I over herd him saying that he would ducktape the one to a fence and let loose a baby Caff that is starving marvin and let him loose upon certain parts. Ouchie.

*Gives a Loud holler to Mr. KickBass and Bonnie......HEY YOU GUYS.....Come quick that slippery KY is doin the truffle shuffle

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, Chapter 69. paragraph 70 (written twice)

"Morning folks! Everyone who paid up to last night is out the door and should have tracking" "I'm invoicing and checking the new code and we'll see where we get (most of us anyway), BBIAB"

*curls up on the bark o lounger and yawns* tired wolfie, at least I am feeling better and think I've finally kicked this cold, or at least getting close to it... sick wolfs aren't happy wolfs...though KBV jooses have made me a happier wolf than being sick and smoking wolf... think I need s trough of Cinnamint though.. Still not at 100%, but maybe a few more days then I can be in top form again and go back to fishin, rompin and chasin!

****shoos wolfie out of her rockin recliner bark O loungers***** With a big sigh when she sits down* motions the wolf back into her lap. What??? he's warm and soft and fuzzy
Starts to rock and pet wolf in the same rhythm..starts to humm a lil hymnal..god is tryin to tell you somethin' ..mmmmhmmm. Sun is a shinin thru the tress, and them birds are a singin. PTL.. and amen for this fine day at the honey hidey fishin hole.

*The Angel of vaping appears to Bonniegirl dressed in blue uniform and stripes down sides and driving a box like white vehicle with steering wheel on wrong side.........gifts of aromatics are left at the hidey hole stump door and a tiny knock awakens her fully.........Hhmmmm......GIFTS!!!!!!!!!!......from the heavenly host..........return address ......KBV................Yep............tis gifts from on high..........ripping the package open and finds the aroma fills the quite small area with the sweet nectar of the Gods..........Bonniegirl reaches around in bosom and finds the prodigy V2 with a nice 801 shorty well broken in and drips the new BIG OMG(YES!, the joose) onto the atty.....one, two, three, four, five, six, seven..........(YES< They do hold a lot of jooses).......eight.........ahhhh, that outta do it..............draws in and plumes of vapor fill the hidey hole and escape from the door and the aroma wafts all over the honey hole.................OMG(YES, The joose and the emotion) this is such a delicious way to awaken................this vape has an added ingredient........she can sense the difference..........ahem.............it is...........UUHhhmmmmm.............LOVE!.............*
She then speaks aloud to herself......................
well I be a ding dang dong...........they done outdid theyselves this time. I be dang............they added some love...............
*and Bonniegirl smiles and feels ................uuhhhmmmm.........different...........ahem..........changed............she is changed!
The joose has changed her.............she no longer wants the Ms. Walker...........she sees the LIGHT............she has been touched ...........*IN THE HEART ya dirty minded folks*......she is somehow a different person............she sees herself in a different light...........in a different way..........she is not this old morose, drinkin and carousin and troublemakin and conivin and well...........horrid..........simply horrid person..............she is soooooooooo much more...........she can now picture her new self as she unrolls the curlers and pins from hair...........she has a purpose in life......a new beginning........a real live reason to go on..............and it is all because of the gifts from on high from the vapin angel.................The new Bonniegirl is a drip............uhhmmm.............drippin sidecar biker chick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG(Not the joose)....it is a calling..............a vocation................a God given talent!..................She begins the plannin and the dressin and the necessities and all and readies herself for a trip to town to the HD shop (Yes the orange and Black) for the proper attire for the callin and a trip to the nail salon for a proper mani pedi and a trip to the hairdresser to see if anyone can possibly put a comb or brush thru the hair which has been matted to the curlers for 3 years and so much to do and her heart is light as a butterfly wings on a honeysuckle...(remember that word all....HONEYSUCKLE)....This new callin is gonna be great.............she then picks up th brown bagged Ms. Walker which contains about 2 fingers worth and well..........waste not, want not...........she finishes it and brushes her hands together and tosses the bag out the door of the hidey hole and hears a clunk!
OMG(Not the joose)...WTF(Not the joose either)............did I hit?............she then LOL(Soon to be a joose?) at the thought that it may be that beady eyed Gay......uhhhmmm.......lame...........uhmmmm.........Game Warden.............and peeks to assure it was not the preacherman as this new calling would not call for hittin a preacherman on the head an all......................RUH ROH(Not ever a joose IMO).............It was Bee Oh Bee Hisself.............OMG(Not the joose again) It was THE Bee oh Bee............the man of the mixin and the birthin of the elixer of the Gods, the reason we vape and breathe easier...............he is the one done put that there extry lovin in dat joose to give me the change and now I done kilt him!..............DEAD!.............D. E. A. D................OMG(Yes the joose) is then dripped 6 drops on 801 afore checkin a pulse...........*well, we do have our priorities*.....crawlin outta the hidey hole she sees he is a movin a bit...................

<suspensful background music plays while we break for a word from our sponsor>

Pass the popcorn and marshmallows please, this here story is gettin good and I am so hungry an all.

*hops into Missy's lap* Yep and I even fish and am a good guard wolfie too, so there's lots of good points! Oh, and I also don't eat people I like.. Just the mean, nasty ones...don't see many of those around here, so I must be doing a good job..

**gets up and walks over to the door of the lean-to built by the cascading stream feeding the hidey hole fishin** Hey all, .... ChrisKY, still reelin from the vapor mushroom cloud I see... but none the worse for wear... Ciego, yer looking ... uhmmm .... well..... uhmmm... could ya reposition that paperbag yer holdin in front of ya .... yeah a little more to the left... there ya go.... whew... Mini-art... can I have a cup o joe? So kind of you to bringit into the clearing... Matafact.. so nice to see ya enjoyin them deelishus KBV jooses....Wolfatthedoor, you look like you need yssiM (who's lap you happen to be occupyin and who's gentle hand is scratchin behind yer ear).. to mix ya some extra EXTRA strength menthol to clear that cold right outa yer heyaaad. I'm sure she could come up with somthin better than vapin NityQuill elixer..(Not really a joose ... yuuuukkk) Bonnie, why yer absolutely ....uhm..... glowing.... you look like you've had a spirituuul experience.... Filled with the KickBass Luuuuuvvv. Let me take a load off these creaky knees and you can pull up stump and do tell all about it....

** Ciego finds his official KBV burnoose. **

Ah! That's better. No need to torment these ladies with the vision of my magnificent, nearly-naked 350 pound, 4 foot-6 body. This beer gut was a gift from God, and/or Budweiser.

** Pours a large mug of coffee and drips some Peaches and Cream into his Ego (the PV). **

Yep. Decided to give this the all-day vapefest test. If I can enjoy this for eight straight hours, it goes into the rotation. Kinda the same way I've always rated prostit....er, companions.

** Blushes momentarily until he realizes that nobody is listening anyway. Pulls out raised-line tactile blueprint, unrolls it.**

Okay...here's the 30 amp 12 VDC power supply....12 gauge cables run to the three-foot tall Tesla coil....the juice tank is made from a discarded whiskey still I got from Rocky Top Tennessee...here's the 480 p.s.i. air compressor and the nipple fitting....the gas mask....the gurney...**

His nimble fingers read the blueprint as a wicked smile suffuses his handsome face.**

And no messy marital aids. Personally, I think that's a design improvement... Heh heh.

And the best part of all... thanks to an advanced biometric locking system, it can only be used by select individuals. No lame warden will be able to vape my goodies.

** Examines the blueprint again. **

Oh, and these 1000 watt speakers, and the subwoofer. Plus, an Ipod dock...so I'll be able to listen to Stevie Nicks and Katie Slutperry while I vape. Not. LOL

"How we got banned from the bar, How I fell face-first in tar, How the PV blew me far
Last Friday night
How I vaped a gallon jug
How I acted like a thug
How I gave myself a tug,
Last Friday Night
How a wolf dressed like a sheep
How the game warden did creep
And we didn't get no sleep
Last Friday night...

Oh brother....

** Laughs to himself and rolls up the blueprint, hiding it inside a conveniently-placed hollow log, which also just incidentally holds a bottle of Ms. Walker in a black dress....

"It was long cool Ms. Walker in a black dress
Just to find that beautiful song...
Well with just one look I was a bad mess
'Cause that cool Ms. Walker had it all.... had it all..."

** Ciego takes out a deck of braille Tarot cards, hoping to foretell the future. **

Ah! The Ace of Wands!

Ah! The Empress!

Oh-ho! The Hierophant!

Zowie! The Buttress of Windsor!

Wow! The Crack of Dawn!

Hmmm... The Bush of George

Well well well... the Tower of Vapor...


** The cards tell him nothing. **

I predict that our Bullet will have a splendid birthday, that KBV will continue to thrive, that Bonnie and the Warden will *not* get married, and that I will probably fall off the dock...


Again.

*snorts at the little dog* As if I'd bother Missy! she's too tiny and wouldn't make much more than a tiny snack.. I'm really a friendly wolfie and wouldn't eat anyone....as long as they don't go near my Cinnamint.

Okay guys, I have an announcement.

I think I'm schizophrenic.

<waits for murmurs of agreement>

No, not in that way. It's just that i can't decide on my all-day vape.

I thought it was Caramel Cappuccino, until I ran out. Then, I went back to OMG (the juice). Then, after thinking that I didn't like Peaches and Cream, I vaped that all day today.

What to do? Any one of them could be my all-day vape...and I haven't tried any of the tobacco flavors except Vape Placid (I like it, but it's not an all-day vape for me).

All this is made even more disturbing by the voices in my head.... LOL

** Ciego listens to the voices in his head. They're having sex. He is momentarily embarrassed.... **

I may have a solution. OMG Monday, Caramel Capp Tuesday, and so on...

** The voices tell Ciego that's a fine idea. **

And of course, everyone is trying to steal my thoughts. Good luck with that... you're welcome to 'em.

** The voices in his head laugh appreciatively. **

ChrisKY-Jelly.... incoming e-mail.

** The voices begin speaking Spanish, telling Ciego that he absolutely *does not* look like Antonio Banderas...**

Basement cat.....IDK(not a joose, yet?)....why you have no flavor at 5 volts??????? I only run at 5 or above and IMO and many vets (with sound and new taste buds) ie:Bella chic....we run them at HV and have mucho flavor.....is it possible that your taste buds have not come to life????? Have talked to many many compadres and veterans of this wonderful world of vaping and even the reviewers with e-liquid overloads from the many flavors they taste also say the flavor is certainly there....I suggest you allow the e-liquid to sit a few days (even though the line at KBV usually does NOT require this phenomena of "stewing" and recheck and if you still are unsatidfied....I and many here will "take it off your hands"....ahem.....if you licked yer paws good before touching the drip top.......teehee.
This is a rare occurrence we have here......odd at best. The only thing that I have known and heard is that KBV has "spot on flavors" that lure you in. I have been vaping almost 3 years and have NEVER in my vaping world had more than one all day vape and I now have 4 and I feel the new caramel Popcorn shall rise to the numero uno spot and that will make 5......will take that KBV bar off yer paws in a minute. Never let a good catch get away. .....I have seen 2 customers post that they did not care for a flavor and 2 days later post........nm, I love it now........Perhaps.....(crossing fingers) that will happen to you. Are you using the proper ohm atty/carto for HV vaping? Improper ohm with HV can destroy flavors. Just a few thoughts and comments to your dilemma.
Good Luck

Now back to our regularly scheduled Novella now already in progress.
Sorry for the interruption of the Emergency Broadcasting Vaping Emergency.......

Pass the catnip............ahem...............popcorn, YES..............POPCORN................this story is getting good.