The KBV Novella-- Complete and Unabridged

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

<Cheesy rendition of "Dontcha wish your Girlfriend was Hot like me" in a jingly kinda beat>

Good Morning Honey, Hidey, Hiney, Fisherfolk of Fishigan U S of A. Enjoying the sunshine and all of the lovely morning dew this morning? The lake is lovely and well..........the fishin is reel good here at KBV radio. Todays topic is television commercials. When I was but a little tacker, commercials were cheesy but had much in common with one another. They all had a cheesy jingle which was like an earworm, all had an attractive housewife with an apron touting the benefits of said food, cleaning or service available and all were pretty straight forward. The Saturday morning commercials made us drool at the mouth at the new cereals *which all contained a toy inside* and new toys which went faster, were the best or came in 7 different bright colors. Saturday mornings were magical as we waited for the next holiday to make a list for the commercialized things. Nowadays, holidays are not needed to get these new things as a kid. A bit of whining or saying that Johnny next door has it most assuredly will cop the new toy for a kid cause Moms are in a race called "whoevers' kids have the best toys and most expensive sneakers wins". I am not sure what they win, but I am guessing it is a lazy, non-working, underachieving, entitlement seeking adult.......but that is just my opinion, take it for its 2 cents..........uhhhmmm......$48.95 cents worth. My biggest problem with commercials today is that they advertise things I do not want to explain to my five year old grandson. Depends for adults......"Nana, why does the lady need a diaper?" Or, Vagisil, monistat, tampax, kotex, ED drugs aplenty, and those public service announcements *NO thanks for this service*......about STDs. First, if you are a woman, and have had a few children and have reached that "certain" age you do not need a nicely dressed 30 year old woman touting the benefits of depends undergarments, you are already introduced. If you are a woman, you KNOW the benefits of the other ........ahem...........personal products and really do not need a glowing cheeked young girl telling us about them. We KNOW......we just know. Now, the ED drugs.............ahem.............married 28 years and not having a NEED for such a drug..........if we were..............we would KNOW. I do not need a fine looking 40 year old couple tellin me we can be ready anytime...............we are..... and if we weren't...........we would KNOW..........and if we did not know, our Doctor would tell us or the barber or the golfing buddies. I eat more because of some of these idiot commercials. I can be watching CSI and their weekly autopsy but I be darned if I do not need DORITOS after seeing those Dang commercials. The biggest pet peeve commercial is for the new yogurts, drinks and food products containing bacteria which "makes your system regular." I would not be surprised if Jaime Lee Curtis had to run to the potty several times while filming that set of commercials. She must be dehydrated by now. I do not need to pay $4.00 for yogurt when I can drink a bit of prune juice or eat some dates or figs. It is less money and much more discreet at the shopping center check out. I can only imagine what the cashier thinks of an order placed on the conveyor belt and the assumptions she or he makes. TV guide.*Hmmmm lonely and bored*.........soap opera digest....*needs a life*........kotex.......*glad I do not live with that PMS beast*........Vagisil and Monistat.....*thought she looked antsy*..........activia...........*thought you looked a little full in the face and grumpie*...........oh RXs for ...... and for ampicillin..........*Oh FFS why won't he leave her alone, she looks weary*.............If it is true that we are what we buy...............our society is a mess............DONTCHA JUST HATE when personal problems become impersonal because of TV advertising?............the worst of all of the above are those beg for money commercials showing me dogs and cats with ribs showing and sad eyes and battered, hairless and most assuredly on last legs....Or the third world starving kids with swollen bellies, flies surrounding their 2 tablespoons of rice and saddest eyes on Earth...........the guilt of it all and the overwhelming need to look away or write a check...............DONTCHA JUST HATE when the advertising people are smarter than you? Yeah, sure, make your tax deductible donation now......

We would like to thank our sponsor Kick bass Vapor where the only commercials used are word of mouth and never would your purchase allow Bob to make poor assumptions about you. Kick Bass vapor, a delicious artisan handcrafted e-liquid at an affordable price, where customer service is JOB one and not a bother and he won't keep your 2 cents change

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

I never learned to play the guitar. Keyboards aplenty, Latin percussion, harmonica, melodica, autoharp, upright organ...but never guitar.

I need to go lay hands on my big organ again. I'll play that thing until I go blind....er, oops...uh....

Bonnie, you are spot-on regarding commercials. The funniest thing to me back when I could see was the use of blue liquid to represent every possible bodily fluid. I don't know about you, but if I ever start se......g blue juice, I'm checking into either the E.R. or rehab...fast.

I love the slogans, too.

"O.B. tampons. Preferred by more women. Period."

"....... When keeping a stiff upper lip just isn't enough."

"If you can't depend on Depends, you can always trust Always."

"ExLax, for that 'get up and go' feeling."

"Don't let that affection lead to infection, put some protection on that erection! - Trojan condoms."

***
We're making our children grow up way too fast, IMHO. TV is poison. You want to meet the Devil? He's already in your living room...

*bonniegirl sits at town bar watching the grammys and drinkin her own flask when barkeep not looking........she is mesmerized with the music and speaks aloud to self or any one in ear shot*

Dem dare womens ain't got no more modest than a pole cat.dey has dem bosoms out an all an dey is callin dat a high falutin a-fare?.....an dat is musics? Ya cain't eben taps ya a foot tah it.............dese here folksis losin dey mahnds.........dey is sangin an ya cain't heard what dey is a syin anywho...........dis here ain't no Hank William.now dat is musickin...........barkeep, ya got any uh dem peanuts lef?

Skeeter
Sounds like hubby is the real skeeter..............they are so bothersome and well.....they hover and annoy and joose restrictions? Restrictions are for teens and their cell phones (regular dialed phones in my days) and TV time. You are fairly new at the e-cig game and NEED to find your sweet holy grail of vaping.....right hardware, right joose at right voltage. You ae doing an experiment of sorts in search of the grail to QUIT smoking! Tell hubby to smoke his hat................jk..............I, too, am on a budget, otherwise the classies would be all mine...........except the inferior joose and well............I do have a FEW mods............but it is my hobby and I am a collector.................a very serious collector.....................speaking of collectors and phones..................I feel a new Dontcha just hate comin on.....................stay tuned to KBV radio....the home of the artisan handmade e-liquid at excellent prices where customer service is the moral of a lovely love story. And...........they do not keep your 2 cents change.
Happy Valentines Day to all my hidey, Honey, Hiney Fisherfolk.......................Bee Oh Bee, will you be my valentine? I like candy (TOOTSIE ROLLY)..and the new secret recipe I beta tested in gallon drums...............the barge is ready to go.
You look so manly and are such a stud and well you look mahvelous.*think he buys this load of carp?*.................ahem..............am I the valentine?

Ciego
Perhaps someone who is fluent in Bonniegirlese could translate for you and you could imagine the cajun/white trailer trash/southern/drunken/slurred language my character speaks. I am sorry about your.................uhhmmm..........well........I am sorry...........enough said. I just kissed my Little BooBoo, my long haired Chihuahua, on the snout and he smiled. I look forward to Dinner at high falutin restaraunt tonight with my Latin Lover husband of 28 years (who still gives me teenage butterflies when he brings his sweet bald self into the room) and a bit of salsa dancing at the latin nightclub at the Tropicana Casino and a good Pinot Grigio and some smooshin (that is Jersey style and not part of the GTL...but part of the DTF). Of course, I will take Princess Penelopee pee and Missytekkie with me and plenty of secret recipe KBV and Tootsie for a back up....and no, not in the bosom, the dress is cut low enough to see the entire zipper scar and well..............ahem.........the roots were done yesterday, the manicure today and well...........a good time of food, wine, dancing, vaping and LOVE. Life does not get better than this.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY KBV FRIENDS AND MAY YOU FIND AND KEEP LOVE IN YOUR HEARTS FOR ALWAYS. XOXO

Bonnie...(Definitely NOT bonniegirl, the real life one that knows how to speak proper English and enjoys the finer things in life and knows who and what is important. Ready to celebrate my live day on May 29th which is also my wedding anniversary. This disclaimer written due to PMs received asking if I was Cajun, was that my real pic, do I come from the south and other assorted questions. The real person does not represent the "character" bonniegirl......she is merely an alter ego (not the PV) I have created)

*Bonniegirl is siitng on the mossy stump, alone, with the fire and her thoughts. She had done the usual morning rituals....the waking, the stretching, the checking of the ACME calender, the stump hole keeping....ie:tossing bean cans, empty Ms Walker bottles and assorted other garbage items outside the stump, stuffed the bosom of her daily necessities of life and went to the Bait/Tackle/coffee and donut store. She was exhausted from the daily chores of breathing and walking and well.......just living. She is down and blue and downright depressed. her mood is foggy and dreary though the sun said otherwise. Spring was poking it's lovely nose upon the honey hole and the crocus were peeking just above ground level. There is a smell of newness in the air, but there is nothing new in Bonniegirls' heart. Her heart, once loved and worshipped, then held in a strangers hands while a cold mechanical machine did the work for over an hour and then 6 more hours of the patching and mending and sewing to make it ba bum the way a heart should. She touches her chest lightly to assure herself the ba bum is there and she is not as she feels......dead. Today is the dreaded Lovers day....it is Valentines day and bonniegirl hates this day second only to Mothers day. No love and no Mother.......these were sad things and a good reason she and Ms. Walker were so close....they were kinfolk and the Ms Walker made the hurting not so sharp......she took the stab out..........Ms. Walker was the numbing stuff before the cut..........she dulled the feelings. Ms. Walker was her friend, her confidante, her medicine and her comfort.....as always, her thinking is done aloud as it validates to her that she has thought it and well.........validation is all any human wants...........that and love.........*

All dese here fisher folks is a plannin a swoonin an a fancy high falutin supper and sum uh dat dare dancin an all an here I bees a settin on a dang stump an all. Dese here curlers ought be dried nuff tah brush out dis hairs an put anudder housedress on an all bet what fer? Ta has me sum more uh dat laundyin an den all uh dat dare hairs dat falls out an all an mah arm a achin wid dah rheumatism an all. Dang all uh dem angels wid dah dang arrows........I shoot em in the .... I see em......dis about the dangest hollyday a womin cin eber has tah set fru what ain't got a man tah be a payin her mind. Ain't want none u dem dare mens payin me no mind. Dey is jest young tackers of lads what got big...always wantin the biggest toy an all an now dey is buyin dem dare big reels an fancy rigs an showin em off tah one nudder an all.....an wantin folks tah all be a thenkin day got dah best uh eberthin an all an dat dey has a bigger hotdog an all..........I ain't gonna be no part uh tellin no mans how big his hotdoggin is an how nise he be treatin me an strokin hees egoin an makin him feel lahk he be dah best an all. I dun got me a fahn stump hidey hole an is all mahn an I cin takes care uh mahself an all an well..........I is jest fahn havin mah vape and dah Ms Walker an a can uh dem dare beans fer mah dinner an I won owin nobody nuttin...........now bonniegirl ya knows ya is a lonely one an all an dat dare nice man at dah tap room dun asked after ya an all............oh...........mebe I walk tah town an see if dey dun got dat tellyvisionin on an has a peanut er two an den com a back an see mah frens...........

*Bonniegirl rises and begins the long trudge to town to the pub and a tear is rolling down her cheek.........past the whiskered mole into the zipper line and down thru the crevice.........ahem.....cavern.........of a bosom.............she stops to take a long swig of the Ms walker and a huge puff of the vape and moves on tears are coming at a greater pace as her zig zagged walk lifts pace............she is determined to walk the tears off even if it is in an unstraight way*


Pass the tissues please, this here part was sad and do we have any peanuts?

*bonniegirl is seated atop a stool at the tavern which leaves no room for her bottom as parts are draping over the rounded sides of the vinyl like a wet cloth hung over to dry......several couples are present having cocktails and intimate conversation and the television is tuned to wheel of Fortune. Bonniegirl slips the flask from the left bosom and palms it and takes a long swig from it and recaps and replaces in bosom in lightning speed. In front of her lies a dirty stained BUD LIGHT cardboard underneath a water glass half full and a bowl of free peanuts which she is ravenously devouring......she is vaping her secret recipe joose and all are watching out of the corner of their eyes.......curious and curiouser but not nervy enough to ask "What is that".......(Well, we have all been there)........Bonniegirl speaks aloud at the television*

Buy a bowel? Chain't ya git one whens ya was bornt? Dis here gamin show is a rigged, dey always let dem mens wins it an dem dare fre cars dey ain't worf about a pint of piss if'n ya asked me. If I had ta buy me some bowels I would be a wonderin what is next..........go on a gamin show if'n ya kilt yer liver fer drinkin too much?.............Hey.........Buy a liver, Ya cin drinks all ya want.........

*Bonniegirl lets out an uprorious laughter that is teary eyed and it shakes her whole body as she spasms in a fit of laughter*

Dis here world an all is gone ta dah dogs.............I tell ya dis..............

*Suddenly the doors swing open *Yeah like the John Wayne Movies* and in walks a dozen or a bakers dozen *FFS, I didn't count em* of the meanest *yeah, like junk yard dogs* toughest, biggest tattooed men she had ever seen. They were dressed in leather and all had the Harley name on their jackets..........Bonniegirl approaches with curiousity*

Hey ain't dat sumpin dat ya'll has dah same name.Harley.......I likes dat name, we had a Harley in my neck uh dah woods when I was a tacker an he was a real nice un......hey is ya rich? I sees ya got yer wallets all chained tah yah an all an I was a wonderin why ya was a needin dem chains..........is dat a snake on yer arm?..Ha ..........was so close it coulda bit me.....Ha Ha ain;t AH a funny wun?.............Dat shore be a nahce beard yah gots dare...take ya long ta grows it to a pointy like dat?

*The head motorcycle rider LOL at Bonniegirl and she took it to mean they was likin her an all*

PPPppppssstttt.....cmere, I got dah ms Walker raht cheer an if'n yas wanna share some an save ya a dollah I would share her wid ya

*Next we know Bonniegirl is riding in the sidecar of a souped up Harley and drippin her heart out and OMG(Not the joose) was she happy............curlers was flyin out of her hair and she loved the wind in her face and suddenly Valentines day and the red angel with the arrow and the mushy stuff did not seem so bad...............Bonniegirl is yellin into the wind*

*WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE dis here motorbike ya got is faster'n ole Bullets 4 wheelin thang and it got raht shiny pipes an all an dis is fun................dis be dah best day uh mah life*


Pass the popcorn and the peanuts this should get juicy and I will need some salt

Dang bonnie........first you had me crying, then you had me LMAO. You have fun on that bike. Nothing like a bike ride to lift up your spirits. By the way...............what zany trouble did you get into with your bikers?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Time for a Tuesday edition of...
Jelly Man Says!

Today's topic is going to be KBV jooses and different atties. I wanted to touch on this for two reasons.

1. Because a very dear person sent me here beloved Big Chuck (one of, I should say) in the mail as a test drive to help cure my mod woes (long story) and also because she wanted me to try "a REAL atty" instead of my trusty 510.

2. To address my take on KBV Joose and how different gear affects the flavor.

My mystery mod pro told that before I bought another mod I MUST try a Big Chuck, so to the mail box she went and in the wind went the Chuck! There was only ONE problem... A slight labeling oopsy! The Big Chuck went to the wrong person who happens to live about as far from me as possible without leaving the continent. Well... Let's just say that someone got a surprise in the mail. Anyway, upon receipt of this package, it was promptly remailed.

After a couple of weeks, yesterday as a matter of fact, there was a well worn and much postmarked package in my mail box. I am still confused by the postmarks from Juarez, Nome, Alberta, Buenos Aires, and Rio, but She made it! I call this definitely female Big Chuck Ms Sexy for reasons other than her travels to exotic locales but... Back to my point, she was here and so were a few 901 atties.

I had been told that if I REALLY wanted to taste KBV Joose, try a different atty than a 510 and of course I was not real receptive to the idea... As a vaper, like most, there has been a lot of trial and error along the way... Starting with RN-4081 rigs and then other less than satisfactory minis, micros, and whatevers along my journey with all the expense, so more gear and more adaptors was not something I was real interested in. 510 works right? Why something else? All atties are the same right? Aaahhh NO!

Now, why is this on the KBV thread you ask? Here goes! I got Ms Sexy all ready to go with a brand new 901 and added about 4 drops and let it settle for a minute... Added a couple more per my skype chat mentor and pushed the button (straight on, NEVER from the side - Chuck 101 training from the Pro) and I entered a state that had been hinted and rumored about that until this moment I did not believe was real... It was like Atlantis or Dorado, a myth! No... It is a real place - Vaping Nirvana! Clouds swirled around my head... Flavor after rich, layered flavor rolled from my tongue. This was bliss! Heaven! I was beside myself!

Well, my wife saw this massive plume and practically yanked Ms Sexy from me... She was floored, just like I was. I had thought Caramel Cappuccino and Aunt M's tasted amazing on my 510! There was no comparison. So... After I regained consciousness, I contacted my undoer and protested my undying subservience to her wisdom of all things vape related and eternal gratitude; swearing to live and die by the 901 and she smugly said: "wait til you try a 801 shorty".

I was speechless... There was something BETTER than this? How??? NOT POSSIBLE! and she just chuckled... That's it! Chuckled... Sooo... My point here is not to run out and buy any of the above mentioned gear, but that the flavor of your KBV Joose is GREATLY affected by what gear you do use, so if you are having trouble with not enough flavor, you might want to look around about different atties, cartos, or tanks and always remember to ask! Lots of vets on this thread that have been there and done that already - might open a whole new world to you.

Well... That's all for now! From a very Humble Jelly Man... Keep on vaping!

And Mrs Vape Guru... Thanks again!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*thinks the above KY (AKA Jelly Man) has multiple personality disorder*.............." Hey KY thought you was the Share reef around here?" *glances over at the burnt badge hanging from the ..... ........ willow* "That badge belong to you? Sounds like you've been badgered by the warden" *Wonders where that beady eyed guy has been*

*thinking people all around the world Chucked him, probably even chucked himself* "I'm Unsure what to make of you lately, 1st you're Nutty, then a Share reef, now Jelly man again........... just seems you blow around like a Texas Tumble Weed to me!"

*The Jelly man rides that bike in chaps.......chaps? where has Mizchappy been* "I look up to the sky and can't help but envision that warden draggin you away in your own handcuffs, you'll be gonewiththewind!" *Thinks about Zoey and Sweet Virgina* ....."WTF?(not the joose.......... are why four?" "I mean Wyat.....Why on Earth tobacco to start with?" "KBV will probably carry 10-12 tobacco but 555, are you guys nuts! it'd take years to get to that!"

"Sorry guys I gotta go I just can't See a go at it"

*Bonniegirl steps out of the sidecar laughing and smiling and high fiving all of her new cyclin friends. It has been a .................ahem............a life changing *not the menopausal type, the life part*........well, it was a very big life changing evening and now it is morning with the sunshine and all of the blessings of spring springing and birds chirping and well...........the curlers have been abandoned for a new hair cut and style..........a bit Monroeish and a bit Rhiannaish........the mole has been removed.....the housedress replaced with jeans, a leather Harley vest with a low V neck front Tee underneath *well, one must show the zipper, it is a badge of courage*......The Tee has a graphic by Ed Hardey and it is colorful and well...........it is a far cry from the old house dresses she had so become accustomed to.She is now wearing high heeled leather boots which she is still getting her sea legs attached to and the hilarity of her trying to walk in them is overshadowed by the mere vision of the colorful tattoo placed across her shoulder and onto her back.............it is unseen what the tattoo is or isn't at the moment, but one is sure it is there. She is new, she is clean and she is well............a vision for sore eyes............she has a new demeanor. Her sad eyes are wide and have a glow about them and her skin seems less leathery and is pink with the wind and the sun and the fun and maybe the Ms. Walker as well. She looks different, but more importantly, she feels different. She hollers to her friends as she sea legs her way down the fishigan lane toward the honey hidey hole*

Now ya boys be a gettin home now............thanks be tah ya all fer dah new clothes an dah hairdoin an well fer eberthang........Ya'll knows how tah treat a lady an all............member tah picks me up win ya'll is in town an I be raht cheer waitin fer ya!

*It is obvious that the new Bonniegirl has not had a change in her voice or her colorful use of the English language but it somehow seems less ................ahem................well, it is less...........uhhhmmm................less white trailer trashy. *Well you can take the girl out of the trailer but you can't take the trailer out of the girl*..........

*She approaches the new Share-eef and sees her friends wolf an Mini an Bullet and all are shocked at her appearance. Most stared wide eyed with mouths agape and just stayed silent for long moments. Bonniegirl speaks first......*

Hey all, whatsamatter? Cat git yer tongue? Cain't a girl has some fun an all?


Pass the Ms. Walker.......I need it, things are a changin around here.

*Bonniegirl speaks to Mini*

Now hush yerself Mini, I ain't no new gerl. I is a womans an I is dah same wun dun lef dis here place lass naht. I ain't needin no Preacherman Hy raht now. I jess fount me sum raht nice genmens what treated me so nahce an all an dey was wunerful. Dey was. We was a ridin an I was jess settin dat dare side carrin thang an dah wind dun taked all uh mah curlers and frowed em on dah hiways an well dah nahce genmens sayed dey would hep me and dah one was laffin an sayin I was a needin more hep dan dey had an all an dey was frienly an all an takked me to a nahc truck stoppin diner an I et me some biscit an sum uh dat gavyin on it an it was jest a wunerful ebenin.

Why, hello there Bonnniegirl. Yer lookin' all beautiful n hair-outa-dem-curlers n such n .....well ....... downright happy. So good t' see a real smile on yer face.... not the one instigated by the over-entertainin' of the Ms Walker or the one from hidin' yer heart with a tear runnin' down yer face. This one's real.... a real smile... a been-there-n-back-n-life-ain't-so-bad-afterall kinda smile. Yer a vision.... I think there's plenty of us 'round here who knew you was in there.

Oh...... n the lether vest is a nice touch.... Yeah, you don't need no preacher man raht now.... just a friend who's glad t'see ya.

*Bonniegirl rises at Preachermans approach and wobbles on the heels a bit and steadies herself with arms out like a new ice skater or a tightrope walker.........she smiles broadly and reveals that no dentistry had been done on the cycle ridin, sidecarrin, freewheelin, makeoverin trip with the Harley Boys. A glimmer is in her eye and it is not the familiar sarcastic Imma gonna gitcha kinda grin................it is a serene and happy one.*

Howdy do preacherman Hy!..........when I bin a sayin I werent no needin no preacherman I was a sayin I no be needin no Godly talkin an such .......bet I shure as tootin ees glad tah see mah fren......Ya ees lookin well an all an how is dah churchin doin? Is dey puttin dey monies in dat clection plate er is dey jess passin eet alon? I knowed me a lot uh dem christchin typin an all an dey is a judgin dah folks an all an talkin all high falutin lahk dem was dah unly ones what gor the keys tah da heaven an all an dey is sayin mean an nasty stuffs an is a sayin dat dem what lahks dey own kahn is burnin an all an dey ees thenkin dey ees all high an mahty an dey is better den all an all...........I bin a livin lawn enufs tah knowed dat dah good Lord dun put us all in dis world an he made us alls an we was made dah way dat he dun wanted us an we cin loves whoever we wants tah love an dat ees his bizness wid dah folks not wid dem dare churchin folks an all..........dey be a talkin bout dem marryin dah same sexes an all dat stuff an all.... an dem own hubbands done bin visitin wid dey womens neighbors an all. dem wid dem glass houses ought not be a throwin dem stones Preacherman Hy! I am a thenkin I cin fahnd me some more chrishtens in dah tap room dan I cin in dat dare churchin house sum uh dah tahm. Dat jest be mah 2 cent werf. Well.........lookkeee cheer.........ain;t dat a crocus done trah tah peek outta dah earf? Spring be a comin Preacherman an eberthin is new an fresh , ain't it?


pass me the Gaga album and some peanuts.....this here part is NOT PC, could get interestin

Yep, Bonnie. I here's yer words. Only stones ya find in dis here preacherman's bag would be fer building... not fer throwin'. ..... ('course I do holla at the suthin' californy drivers from time t' time. thinkin' ifn I had a rock... I might throw it... so t' speak..) ....
*** preacherman steps up onto his soapbox fer a moment*** But I duz m' best to avoid the judgin' n the finger wavin'. Most I think duz the same az me. Just th' loud ones a hollerin' n whinin' who get the attention n make the telebishun prime time.

I'm figurin' th' "Good News" is really good news f'evy body n not the bad news folks holla'bout. Heck (not the brimstone n fire kind) I'm thinkin' it's better news than we thunk in the first place... ;-) Good news of luv fer the harley biker folk what took you t'town as much as anyone.... even the pew-sitters gets da good news too.... by mah 'sperience th' all high n mahty is jus busy building their walls same as the rest of us... jus cuz they'z scared t' luv..... all safe n' secure behind their scaredness n feerz. Ah find it best t' jus do mah part t' take another brick outa mah own wall.... n t' let sumone in.... n t'peek outa mah safe place from time t' time. ***steps off'n the soapbox now.***

I'm figurin' the Man upstairs smiles from time t' time when we steps outa our own feerz. Looky yersef .... why, you even took the curlers outcher hair .... hadta take sum courage....

***rocking in my chair*** Amen i say to Bon...Hy.. and that sexy thang B.....Amen i say!!

Fine review
I myself have never tasted a salty e-liquid. I wonder how they do that. It is a lovely thing. The salt seems to lift the chocolate flavor just as it does with baking. Cookies or cakes or puddings are nothing without the chemistry of love that salt adds. perhaps KBV is wonderful and delicious for just that reason. Now, as a nurse, I had to investigate and it is not iodized salt making this taste..................hhhmmmmm........curious and curiouser............. Agree 100% with the reviewer and find it is a lovely flavor. Now wait until he cracks that bottle of crack...............uuhhmmmmm.........OMG(Yes the joose)....his mind will be blown and BTW..............there is NO coffee in OMG FYI. Keep guessin..................LOL
Thanks for the review and validating what we at the honey hole of vaping already know. Kick bass kicks .....(and the thread ain't so bad either)

*Bullet keeps her composure as she sees Bonnie doing the balancing act of wearing high spiked heels walking in sand towards the hidey hole camp fire…every few step is a stumble…like a model slipping on the runway…long stride, long stride, stumble, stumble, smile….long stride, long stride, stumble…smile.
“Bonniegirl get your .... over here and let’s compare leather….hummmm, nice…and those boots, heck BG they’re nicer than mine.” Bonnie stands still as Bullet walks around her examining the transformation. Bullet reaches up Bonnies heck to ruffle her new hair…”Nice cut and style”…she holds Bonnies chin in her hand and lifts it up slightly…turns Bonnies head from right to left….”Very nice…nice indeed, makeup done perfect, and no mold…very nice. Now learn to hold that head up high with pride. You and me has been through a lot girl, once you learn how to walk in them heels, you’ll be walking proud.”

Bullet steps back to examine Bonnie one more time….”Hummm, got yer self a new Victoria Secrets bra did ya? The girls are finally in place and looking perky…now turn round and let me see the buns in them leather pants….you gotta be wearing a thong with leather pants…..good girl, well done Bonnie, Ciego is gonna be jealous... make sure he doesn’t get a hold of it…. I know….I know it feels like you gotta a wedgie…you’ll get use to it. It’s all the crap we have to go through to look good for our mens.”

Bullet steps back once more for a final look…she cocks her head to the right and looks at Bonnie with curiosity…”Bonnie, you’re looking lumpy…ahhh BG, take out the bottles of KBV you’ve hidden in your pants and vest…hand them over…all of them Bonnie” Bonnie hesitates then hands Bullet a bottle of Tootsie, a bottle of OMG…followed by a bottle of Caramel Capp…and several other choice flavors, followed by an unmarked bottle which she doesn’t want to give up along with several assorted PV’s ….’I gotta keep this one Bullet, it’s a new secret flavor and I can’t let it go…” Bullet smiles “Bonnie, I ain’t taken your joose, I’m gonna show you where to store it now that you’re wearing tight leather.” She reaches towards Bonnies new boots and arranges all the bottles in the calf of her boots. Takes the PV's and slips them into the other boot. “You’re almost done girlie…” Bullet turns to look each way…making sure no one else is paying attention…she reaches into her own boot and pulls out a pearl handled Cobra 22 derringer and carefully places into Bonnies boot. “Bonnie, you gotta look after yer self now that you’re a good lookin woman. Keep this here in your boot just in case you’ll ever need it.”…..Bullet steps back from Bonnie and smiles…”Now you’re a fine looker Bonniegirl, just make sure you’re protected from whatever may happen round here…….”

*Bonniegirl looks curiously at all this fussin and mussin bein done to her by her ole buddy Bullet, but allows it as .............well..........bullet is her friend and her ..............well...........she is KINfolk..........they are friends. It was never said, it did not need to be said, it was just an understanding. It was mutual. NEVER would bonniegirl allow such touching and mussing and fiddling with her clothes let alone touch the precious jooses and even the TOP SECRET JOOSE?..........she turns to bullet and smiles and speaks*

Bullet ya gotcha a ways wid dese here fixins an all an I ain't seed mahself so laht an airy an airy walkin aroun cheer. I feels lahk a natural womans in dis cheer clothes.

*Bonniegirl nudges close to Bullets ears and whispers*

Bullet..........how ees wun tah git outta dis here stuffs win ya has ta pee an all. I is a feelin lahk a sausnage an all an dis her brassalierre...........dat wun what seld it tah me was a feelin an a measurin an a techin an a feelin an she was a smilin.........I ain't wun tah bein a hypcrital et dat wun she be lahkin da gerls an all...she be one ub dem what dem biblin folks calls dem sinners an all...........I chaint a worryin who sh be lahkin jest sews she no be lahkin me an all.......an dese here bosoms ees all up in mah face an all an hows ees ya tah git dis here hairs lookin lahk dis whin ya ees sleepin an all.........lookalike dis cheer gonna be a lot uh works an all an I got tah git me sum more uh dah Ms Walker an all an dem dare nahce mens what dun dis fer me was laffin an dey was a sayin dat I was jess lahk dah free enterteenment an all an dey sayed dey was comin tah pickin me up agin an i is fraid I gonna mess me up an all..........I is jess gonna keep did here closes on an sits up win I sleeps sews I no mess it up.........watcha thenk? Bullet?.........Whatcha thenk?

Pass the popcorn..........this answer should be good cause the honey hole has outhouses but lacks showers, blowdryers, curling irons and mirrors........this is one tough place to be a fine lookin woman, but a great place to get some good joose.

Ahhh Bonnie ya asking some pretty serious questions. Ya see, lookin pretty and being functional aren’t the same thing. Once you’re wrapped in saran wrap it ain’t easy getting out…the guys all know and love that part. You’re my friend but I ain’t planning to take ya out back to show you what ta do…you’re on your own and gotta learn like the rest of us did. One thing to remember is if you ever done any birthin, ya know it feels like passing a watermelon outta your nose….if you’ve been through that you won’t have any problems getting those leather pants off your .... when Mother Nature calls on you.

Now if you’re talkin bout getting back into those Depends of yers you’re not gonna be able to get those leather pants back on your ..... So you’ve gotta decide which ya gonna do…Depends…or leather…leather or Depends. Gotta warn ya, wet leather don’t feel too good specially when it starts to dry …it’s like a sausage in a hot frying pan getting all squirmy and ready to burst.

I gotta say there them biker boys sure done make you look nice and all and I can’t understand how they did it so fast…..Bonnie leans over to whisper something in Bullets ear…”What? You’re wearing what? Spanks?...You mean those girdle thing panties that make you look 10 pounds thinner? No wonder you can’t move or sit down! Bonnie…you’re a balloon ready to pop…you’re strung tighter than a fiddle….no Bonnie…no…don’t touch that zipper…Bonnie please…don’t unzip….Bonnie!.....”

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

<cheesy instrumental version of Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me plays in a jingly kinda way>

Good Morning Honey hole listeners to the one and only sound of KBV Radio where the sounds of the old, the new and well...........some are just sounds.............wakin you up on this fine sunny morning in Fishigan U.S of A. Todays topic is near and dear to my heart. I want to discuss greetings. No, not the Hallmark cards or the Holiday kind, I am speaking of actual face to face greetings. Say you are walking through the mall or the grocery store and eye an old acquaintance from High School. Now, our first response would be to hide behind the potato chip rack and wait for the passerby to pass by *Speaking of....where is our passerby?.did they passerbyus?*........ahem.....If there were no available hiding spot for avoidance, the obvious will occur. Said "acquaintance" will walk up to you and with a cheery fake smile ask, "How have you been?" Now, this question seems benign. It certainly is politically correct and not out of the ordinary. It is the answer that is a problem. It leaves me befuddled....should I answer truthfully or just say "oh, fine, and you?" You see I do not believe said person wants to know that I had a triple bypass and three heart attacks or that the rheumatoid is eating my joints away slowly and I am in constant pain. I do not think she cares that my daughter is in crisis and I am raising her 5 year old son and thus "starting over" while she is starting her new life of empty nest Bliss. I do not think she cares that we need a new roof and the money was supposed to go to our anniversary trip to Puerto Rico and I am blue and feel guilty for feeling that way *One does need a roof over their heads before a cocktail on the beach in San Juan FFS.* I don't think she cares my grandson was born over 2 months premature or I suffer from constant anxiety and my dog rubs his .... on my rug after every walk outside possibly leaving germs, bugs, worms or worse on my carpet and I hurt too bad to scrub said carpet. The "How are you" question is not really a question at all. It is a greeting. A common, everyday way of saying....well......."I do not know what to say to you but feel I must say something because you are blocking the frozen food aisle and I need frozen cool whip to make desert for my in-laws." Said person does not CARE how I am or whether I am even breathing.
I have found there are three ways to handle said "greetings."
1. Tell them the truth and take painfully long.........they will feel guilty for having a better life or possibly better about their own life because it is better than yours. This defense is also helpful as said person will begin to avoid such greetings in the future. *cross one off the greeting list*
2. Lie and say you just returned from a 2 week Mediterranean cruise and your husband has done well with a few stock investments that were risky and your children are both Doctors. And, like a slyfox, mention your New Mercedes coupe is in the shop for a routine oil change. This defense will subject the "greeter" to feelings of "OMG (No ,not the joose) My life sux.........My husband is a big failure and I am worthless. This is not a very Christian-like defense but you can be sure the greeter will knock through walls to avoid you next time. *cross two off the greeting list*
3. This is my usual response *and I so hate myself for this, I do* I say,"Well, we have had struggles like everyone, but we are all healthy, warm and fed, so what more can we ask for?" This answer is probably the nicest of all but is a very poor defense as said greeter will inevitably continue to greet you in the same manner. You see, by answering this way have normalized their life and made them feel there is still a reason to hope and feel good despite difficult times. This defense will NOT get the greeter crossed off the list and will cost you big in the long run. It seems, in my experience, you will "run into" this same person more frequently and be sure it will always be when you are in sweats, without your hair done and without make-up.
DONTCHA JUST HATE WHEN YOU RUN INTO PEOPLE WHEN YOU DON'T LOOK YOUR BEST AND ARE FORCED TO LIE ABOUT HOW YOU ARE?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*KBV radio long time listener 1st time caller* Bonnie Girl dontcha just hate the other greeting "what's new?" Now 99% of the time you get the standard "nothing much...you?" Here at KBV there's always something new. I believe I mentioned the custom made PV holders KBV is offering made by Auntie M, there's the new Momma's Angel Wings rice pudding............ you get the point.

So when you ask KBV "what's new?" You never get the "nuttin (not KY) much....you?" you get the latest new creations from KBV. Thanks for taking my call.

~~~ good mooning ya'll ~~~ pinches the wardens .... and runs to climb a tree and wait for him to return so i can drop a net on him and capture him ... tie'em up and ummm welll uhhh you know the rest

***Sheriff walks out of coffee shop (where he is at most times) and looks around at a beautiful day! Birds are coming back... Sky is blue... Sun is shining - does not get any better! Pulls tackle box out of blue basket on boB Huffy and grabs pole. Time for some fishing. Walks down the trail to Lake Fishigan and nods & waves to his fellow KBVers: there's Mini, just a sowing up a storm - Ciego needs new thongs. The preacher HyOnLyph is rocking on his cabin porch with his pooches. Wolfatthedoor is STILL curled up in yssiM's Bark-O-lounged (lazy bones). Basementcat is after some birds in the ......... Willows. Maisri, ever the flower picker is hunting for roots and herbs, while TexasTumbleWeed blows on through. Candy is up a tree trying to catch her catch, Warden Dlite (no accounting for taste), then there is Smokingbullet working on her hotrod ATV.

All kinds of fisherfolk coming out of there Winter hides in the fine weather. Continuing down the trail I approach BonnieGirls stump, but the stump is GONE and in it's place is a nice neat cabin, trimmed in orange & black with a Hog Only parking sign out front. On the porch is a vision of womanly beauty in black leather... Marilyn Monroe haircut and low cut top... Just a peek of her tattoo showing. I am dumb-founded! Is this OUR BonnieGirl? Where are the rollers? Where is the house dress? And MOST IMPORTANT, where is her Mrs Walker?

I come yo a stop, almost falling over my own two feet, and clear my throat.***

Ms Bonnie - you are looking lovely today. If I might ask, what brought on this... Aaahhh... Change of style?

***Bonnie proceeds to tel of her adventures and her revolutions on life. I am amazed at the changes that have came over her, but each day is a new start I always saw... I bid Bonnie a good day and continue down the trail to the water. Finding my favorite stump, I pull out my PV and puff a few clouds and cast in my line.***

Been hearing about some new species about, wonder what I'll catch!

Remember folks, PM zbasspro your KBV orders and keep an eye here for news about the site coming back up for orders! boB is hard at it to get it up and running soon.

Sorry I don't have the time to read and comment on all. There is a review up of the rice pudding someone who beta tested *cough* not mentioning names ordered 4 ounces of it! We can sell VERY limited quantities of it as in maybe a few ounces. We have PLENTY of the flavorings in route so by the end of the week we should be able to run that flavor with no interruptions. I fully expect this joose to really create a buzz.

TTW we can do some of those now. I wasn't sure the demand would be there for some of the ones you mentioned so I didn't list them. When the site goes back up I will list some new flavors and pull some that aren't selling well. We'll start beta testing some of them immediately.

The Bananas Foster Kona Coffee is a challege I look forward to as I seem to do well with coffees. The Tiramisu there isn't a lot to, we may want to tweak it according to you guys feedback,and the Vanilla Cupcake would could release as is IMO.

I'll sit a spell by the fire with Y'all this evening Need to run for a bit.

*jumps on his Huffy and coasts through the ..... ............ willows*

Hey Basement Cat................try the Mommas Angels wings.........if you like cream, you will be in love............I mean.....if there is any left...............ahem.............120ml could go fast for that...............cough.............ahem..............person

Bonniegirl, your momma ever teach you about sharin?

Slyfox, cassie and Basement cat......
Well...............ahem...........I was there when it was borned and .............uhmmmm.........well.........I can not live without it...........if anybunny wants a tiny lil bottle I would share............I would.................just send me a PM and I will send ya each a lil drop or two...........okay 6 drops..........*dang Sunday school teachers and the conscience*.........I be dang if these dang ..... willows was thicker I would have been home free and they would have been passeryeus

*Bonniegirl is sitting on her new rocker, on her new porch, of her new cabin, right next to the old Kate Hepburn oak stump she has so long inhabited. She gazes at it every so often and remembers her old life.........the one before meeting her new friends. Yes, they were an unusual bunch and looked rowdy, but they truly cared for and about their "Bonniegirly," or so they called her. She is unaware, but they find her amusing and free entertainment and think her choice of words or view on the world is a "whoot." They had stopped by and arrived with an 18 wheeler full of lumber and such and had raised the roof in a day. It was a tidy little cabin of one room but it was a palace to Bonniegirl. She felt like the queen of her castle and also the pain of change. It is clearly hard for her to have all of this so suddenly and the added problems of the dressing and the coiffing and the primping and it was all so very tiresome to her. She was beginning to believe her old dresses were more sensible and that all of this was somehow a masquerade. Let's listen in as she discusses this with herself.......*

Self, dis here new fangled way ain't fer ya Bonniegirl. Why it be takin ya lease the best parta da day tah be gittin out dah bed. Dese here pants an all........dey is so dang tightenin on the innards and ya be jest like a snausage here in dese here pants an all...........Spanx? Dem dare shoulda bin callin dem shanks..........dey be a cuttin inta yer innards and a squeezin an a pullin an well......dare ain't no place fer dah stuffs what it holds in but up an out an well ya gotcha a second sets uh bosoms. Dese here boots wid dah sticks tah walkin on an all.......dat Ms. Walker ain't neber did made me a walkin dat bad......I bin a needin to holt on tah sumpin tah git me a balancin an all. Dis here be a craziness. Dis here hairdoin an all....I cain't sleep no more an all an dis here makeinup an all is all sweaty and smells like mah grandmas purse. The mostest prolem I gots be dis her brassaliere an all..........dey ain't not a bit uh roomin fer mah stuffs an dem dare boys dun went an git me dis here pocketbookin........... an well..... it ain't fit in no pocket an it ain't no book tah read. Look tah me lahk it be a big ole bag maidin up in all dat lederrin lahk dese here pants what makes ya sweat lahk a hog. An I was a likin tah jest reach tah dah lef bosom an git dah joose and dah raht one bosm tah git a new atty and in dah middle fer a carto and dis here dum as a door nailin pocketbookin ....well..it be lahk a big hole uh nuttin......... an ya cin fish roun fer an hour tah find ya a single thang an it ain't what Ya be a needin an den ya gots tah start a fishin agin. I wants tah knowed whered mah good puddin jooses bein an feelin dey is dare an dah knowin dat dey is dare cause uh dah feelin em. All dis here ain't bonniegirl..........no way..........dis here ain't fer me all dis here fancyin up an all.

*Bonniegirl begins attempting to remove some of the lipstick off with the piece of cloth she had been cleaning her boots with earlier and it smelled of nubuck cleaner and made her eyes tear and they rolled down her moleless cheek into the zippered chest and into nowhere land in the new VS bra which had extra push up and nearly touched her chin*


Pass me the popcorn and the peanuts.....we just may be gettin our old Bonniegirl back

*Bonniegirl peeks through the ..... willows and gets pricked my a rosebush in the wild which is not tame an is unruly an catches her hair......speaking aloud*

Dang nabbit dem dang thorny thangs......imma ..... dem back ifn I cin figger eet out

*Bonniegirl then slips herself carefully around the outhouses on the lookie loo for anybunny *NO not that wascally wabbit or the yummy WHITE RABBIT......ahem.........(shhh) the beta one........ahem*.......she is looking for that sherrif and is bare foot as the spike heeled boots have blistered her feet to what she called "a Dang sore mess an all".........she is a limping and ouching and ewwwwing and is cursing her own feet..........let's listen in to her usual aloud thinking *if one could call it THINKING?*

Dese here feets dey be all a swolled up an all an dem sores an dah puss an dem is droolin lahk a rabid dog an all an dey feels lahk dey is rabid.......dey be a stingin lahk a bumbly bee an dem is so dang hurtin an all......Imma nedin me some epsom saltin on dese here feets an I gots tah git tah Minis ...........she be a knowin whats tah do fer dis cheer feets uh horrorness

*Bonniegirl begins the long treck *OK, it is a few yards but FFS her feets are hurtin and it feels like a mile* towards the bait/tackle and coffee and donut shop......surely she will be there and maybe that sherrif*


Pass the popcorn please...........this feet curin may be a horror flick

*Bonniegirl is peeking out of the moon cut out of the outhouse....*well, they all have one and a Sears Roebuck catalog for the paperwoks*.........singing to herself, aloud, a bit...*OK...a LOT*....out of tune and occasionally forgetting the words and covering with a hum -a-long/ filling in sort of maneuver....*Don't laugh, Y'all have done it*

Hear that lonesome whippoorinwill
He sounding too blue tah fly
The midnight train is hmmm, hmmm,hmm
I's sew lonesome ah could cry

I've neber seed a night so long
When time goes crawling bah
The moon jest went aroun..dah...hmmmm
Tah hide his face tah crah


Ain't nobunny eber dun sang no song what made a heart a feelin dem werds lakh dat hank Williamses songs......no way and no how an dem dare motorbikin boys dun lef me flat ahind wid dese here feets a bummed up an all an sayin I cain't be a rahdin wid dem wid mah ole slippers an all..dey cin stick dem dare motorbikers up wear dat danged Sun no be a shinin an all........ain't nobunny eber feelin sew poorly wid dah feet lahk dese cheer...........an dat Mini be a sewin on dem dare shoestrings fer dat half wit Ciego tah put up his dang .... an I be a suffrin wid dah feets a pussin an a bloodin an a screamin out wid dah pain an all................did cheer is jes a plain suffrin...............dat Hank Willems ...he be a knowin sum pain hisself, I cin tell


Pass the popcorn...........these feet are gettin worse and this is sad that the biker guys done left her flat all because she was in old slippers................truly sad even if she does have the best joose in the whole wide world on the earth..........it is still sad...............it is..................pass the tissues please, I prefer puffs *without that greasy lotion and your nose still feels like it has snots on it*

*Walks up to an usually quite Hidey Hole..... walks through the ..... ....... willows, barely misses the wild rose patch* "Geez guys who planted those unGodly things anyway?" "that nearly destroyed Ciego's A.N.U.S. (Armageddon Nicotine Use System)!" *figures it's immature enough he can nip it in the bud* "SmokingBullet you have a brush hog attchment for that there ATV?"


All PMs and emails answered. I will be away today please order via PM or send an email to orders@kickbassvapor.com if you are unable. If I don't get back to you this evening I will in the morning. PO (not mad) is closed Monday so no mail until Tuesday anyway. If you contact me we'll get your order processed.

Oh dear , there is Bonniegirl, all crying cause her feet are all sore.

You poor thing , here Bonnie have a nice pair of comfy shoes with no heels and arch supports for your poor
old flat feet with all the blisters from those high heeled boots.

They may not be as stylish, but they are comfy with a soft lining for those poor feet.

Come on down to the doughnut shop and have a crumb doughnut too. Dont mind that sheriff in there, I think he got a case of amnesia when Ciego dropped out of the tree and fell right on him,

He dont seem to remember who he is anymore , but he sure does remember that he likes doughnuts. Seems he is parked in the doughnut shop most of the time now.

He seems to yell "hey you" a lot cause he dont remember names so well now I think .

***Looking out the window of the coffee/bait/tackle/bakery shop at Lake Fishagan I see the sun shinning on the water and the fine Honey Hidey Hole fisherfolk a casting their lines and hauling in the usual record catches that makethis spot famous all over the vaping world. There goes boB and yssiM passing out samples of their latest secret recipe! Over by the outhouse I see Bonniegirl slipping through the ........willows but the wild roses (just plan untamed those bushes are - need a pruning). Yup... knew the clean cut Bonnie would not last. No shoes, hair getting matted and already shedding the biker chick trappings. Thats our Bonnie - brown bag and all!

Ciego is out on the dock, wearing some cloths this time at least - Thats a lot of...aaahhh...uuummm Manliness to be going around in a thong. Mini is at here sowing... wonder what she is making up now.

Good day to big fishing... Guess I aught to go on patrol and do some sheriffing...

*Bonniegirl slips past the fisherfolk stumblin and doing the "trying to walk without the feet touching the ground" maneuvar *c'mon, y'all know how that works...like walking barefoot on asphalt or walking after a 12 hour waitress shift or walking on the sunburned feets that happened without the coppertone and you fell asleep....yeah, that one*....she is limping and gimping an stopping to use a tree to steady herself as she swigs a long swig of the Ms. Walker and vapes her delicious NEW BETA testin vape........*I feel a wascal among us*.....she shakes her head side to side and says a few amens as she can not believe she is vaping what ought to be eaten..........she is heading for home and the new slippers hastily handed to her by the maniacal seamstress who dare not look away from the machine lest Ciego have no coverage of one of his............well...........ahem.........she needs to concentrate. No time for an epsom soak, no motherly hugs and oohs and ahhhs and not even a lousy cup of Joe.............she is mighty busy with all the KBV embroidered wares soon to come available to all the KBV fisherfolks..........alas, no time for mendin of the feets............Bonniegirl smells crumb donuts(Not the joose, the police kind) and not the vaporized kind either. She is acutely aware that there is a lawman or a mailman nearby and sure as the clock on old Ben ticks away.........she eyeballs the sheriff walking around vaping in one hand a several donuts carefully placed on each finger by their holes..........she greets her nemesis with a fakeness quite apparent to all but herself*

Howdy do share-eef.........Ya ees lookin slender dese days an all........why dat dare uneeferm makes ya look at least 20 pound lightner....yes it shurely do........an ya ees doin a fahn job uh keepin dah peace an all an I sees ya got ya some vittles dare.........dat ees real good fer ya tah has sumpin tah eat an all..........cause ya needs tah keep up ya strenf an all........What dat?...........*listening to the inquiry regarding the unusual gait and is she hurt*.............nah, jess git me sum uh dah soreness uh dah feets frum dem dare high heelin boots an all...........I be raht fahn bah tomorrow fer surely...........no be a worryin after me an all.ya got more portant thangs tah be a worryin after bein a important law man an all *in a boy scoutin uniform FFS....wid a plastic star from dah five an dime*............yeah ...you be a mite importan man roun dese parts.........I be seein ya....I woulda offer up sum uh dah Ms Walker but you bein dah law an all an bein ya is on duty..........well...........dat jest ain't raht tah be a sippin on dah libations an den be a tryin tah catch ya criminals an all.
You has ya a nahs day an all........I be a goin tah mah cabin now.

*bonniegirl makes her way to a mossy stump and sets a spell to rest her weary corned, blistered, puss ridden feets and has a long swig of the Ms Walker and a nice vape of the secret joose....the ear worm ong of her earlier morning thoughts continues to haunt her in a usual ear worm way and she attempts to sing along*

I is so lonesome I coul cry.............hhhmmmmm hmmmm hmmmmm clouds....hmmm hmmmmm.........



pass the peanuts and popcorn and does anyone have tissues? This here is a sad part of the Novella...........at least she has the finest Kick Bass Vapor e-liquid to help her through the suffering.

*Bullet sits by the camp fire warming her feet...her high heeled boots by her side..."I wonder what size Bonniegirl wears? Those thigh high boots them biker dudes gave her sure were nice...wonder if they'd fit me? Know she won't be wearin them again...with all them blisters she got..no matter what I tried to teach her, she's not gonna wanna wear them again. Mine are starting to getta little worn out being in this here camping hidey hole...no place to be wearin a good pair of boots...just a thought."

Bullet kicks back in her chair, legs all a stretched out towards the warm fire, and pours herself another good wine glass of 1976 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon.... nice to be drinkin something special tonight. It's makin me feel all warm and fuzzy. No one's around, must be a party in town or somethin...sure is nice and quiet and this here wine is so fine.... Wonder what vape would go good with a good red wine"....too bad there ain't no one around to ask for suggestions....

*bonniegirl sitting on her porch in the lovely rocking chair given to her from the son of Preacherman Hy while he was in town *OK...IDK if he has a son, but it fit the song of the day*...she is soaking the feets in epsom salts so kindly offered by the drug dealer.......uhhmmm.........the pharmacist in town..........she is hollerin out in pain and is tired of the festering and the pestering of the feets and is sooooooo OVER it all..........the fuzzy slippers offered up by mini are of no comfort as the puss mixxed with the furriness and then drying provides that the slippers need to be PEELED from the feets and the hollering and cursing and yelling and howling are heard all over the honey hidey hole and perhaps all of Fishigan U.S of A.......as always, she is talking aloud to herself......again*

Dangnabbit frickin feets wid dah puss and dah pains *Not in the .... area in the feets area*.........dem dare fancy pantsin boots an all an dis cheer lookin all high falutin be too dang much werkin an all an dese feets es all ruint.........dey won't neber be raht...neber.........I bin a prayin lahk dat dare Preacherman sayed too an all an God gots a lot uh udder troublin tah worries ober fore he worry hisself ober a womans feets..........yah, he gots chilren wid dah sickyness an all uh dem peoples what ain't got food an all an he gots some real criminally peoples what tah worryin ober....he ain't tah pay no mahnd tah no simple mahnded womans feets............Boo and Hoo and Sob and a sniffle and another Boo and a Hoo and a woe is me..........I bin a brokined ups woman..........I is.


Pass the popcorn and some more of that there BETA yumminess Missy.....ahem........I is real low

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella 69, Chapter 69, paragraph 69, The Medic gets sun burned:

*coasts Huffy through ..... ........... willows, dodges wild rose patch, rolls past the outhouse with the moon (not the person driving by with their pants down and .... (not cigarette) against window* "Good morning Hidey Hole friends".... "been rather warm around here, the Medic fell asleep on the dock and got sunburned, the sun was is so bright I Cassie the skeeters" ............. *figures it's time to stock sunblock at the tackle shop as well as insect repellent* "anyone seen Jell Man? (yes KY)" ...... "That guy always did walk a slippery slope playing around with Ciego's U.N.I.T.S." (Universal Nicotine Injection Tube Systems)

"WTF?(not the joose) now there's burnt cartos laying around, please clean up after yourselves, I've managed to run off the warden and share eef with the private property clause" *notices something by the ..... ....... willows, looks like N.U.T.S (New Undeveloped Tobacco Species)* "IDK (not a joose) what those are or are why four they are there". "Why on Earth tobacco tobacco would N.U.T.S. be by the ..... ............ willows?"

*Heads down to dock to get in boat and F.I.S.H. (Flavor Is Superior Here)* See everyone in a few hours if the wind doesn't blow me away like a Texas Tumble Weed" "Preacherman Hy say a prayer I come back with a L.U.N.K.E.R. (Luscious Undertone New KBV Edition Release) *Looks to the Sky and realizes his anchor is draggin*

***Seeing boB go speeding by on his pink Huffy with the blue basket and turns on the siren and lights on new John Deere Gator and goes barreling after. boB seeing the lights and hearing the siren pulls off the path and I pull in after him. Grabbing ticket book and hop out of Gator and walk up to the culprit.***

boB - you know how fast you was going? This here is a 10 mph zone and you was doing 15 on that there hot rod huffy... Even if it is pink (always thought that boB was a little odd, even if he does make some mighty fine joose). Now I need to see a license and registration as well as insurance, urine sample, DNA test results, voter registration card, library card, fishing license and federal & state tax returns. I am gonna have to right you a ticket - this is gonna cost you 4 ounces of Nutty Uncle KY and 2 ounces of Caramel Cappuccino... No need to go see the judge, just hand it over and we will deal with this right now.

***Hands boB his ticket and takes the joose... Hands boB a receipt and tips his hat and returns to the Gator Cruiser grinning like a shark and goes back to patrolling leaving boB standing there stunned.***

Private property... The LAW is the LAW! Gots ta get my joose somehow - sheriffing sure don't pay nothing around here.

*Feeling like one of the Duke boys from Duke of Hazzard has once again outsmarted the Rosco P Coltrane* "Hey Cooter come in"........ "This is crazy Cooter comin at ya, what you Duke boys do now?" ........ "Cooter we just used those bottles from vomitvaper.com to pay off Rosco, you know the ones we put the KBV labels on?" "You 2 Duke boys gonna have to bring that General Huffy Lee in for repairs so you can out run him next time" *Rides off on on the Pink General Huffy Lee blowing the horn thinking how he'll have the flag painted on it*

**steps out onto the porch of the lean-2 by one of the cascading streams leading into the lake... beautiful sunny crisp day promising to warm even more... had to put a tarp over the door and most of the wall that the old wolfyatthedoor guy huffed (not boB's bicycle) n puffed (not vaping) n blew the door down. Shading his eyes with his hand, da preacherman sees Bonniegirl sittin' in a boat (?) fishin' to her hearts content. Off a little further boBs in a real bass fishin kinda flashy lookin' beauty of a boat seriously bringin' em in. What a catch today. Nice to see 'em both out on the water.

Across the water, Bonnie's voice carries as she sing-talks t' herself in no particular toon.*** "luvs da fishin' at da ol' hidey hole. luvs da sun n da water n specially boB's behin...... uhm..... rear en...... uh....... fine joose dat he n yssiM labors over with so much luv. luvs da slippers n da summat looser pants than those ol' leathern ones. Here fishy fishy fishy. Comen bite on da line so's ol' Bonnie can have a taste o da best joose in dis here hole worl'."

**content n smilin' n... well .... relieved of the bondage of the new 6" heel blisterin' toe-smashin' boots that her new biker friends bought for her. n now she can breath having found a pair of nice fitting Levi's (or whatever brand they is seein's how Levis is now a generic name for all of em.... seein's how she found some what don't strain at the seams ....**

Mornin' all. It's a beautiful day. Sun's peekin' through the trees n bugs (not the bunny) are dancing on the water... snow is meltin' upstream n cascadin' a little extra t'day. Blessings to all. It's a good'n.

*Bonniegirl eyes the recent ticketing of Bob by the so called sheriff and is outraged. The feet are nearly scabbed over and the walking has become less ...........well, it is..........ahem.........less gimpy and limpy and visible to those who have no direct knowledge of the harming of the boots. Shoeless, and steam coming from her ears.....she rushes to find the furry slippers with the dried puss inside and balks at the very notion of putting those festered things on her feet. She begins the job of donning the very culprits that caused the harm as she needs a foot covering and those motorbiking boys discarded her perfectly good Romeos....*yeah, they are outdated old fashioned Hugh Hefner kinda slippers for you youngins*.....sure the old Romeos had scuffs and the pig that went wee wee wee all the way home could peek out but they were useful, comfortable and definately didnot require all the work these high boots needed to put on. She is talkin aloud *as usual**

I dun skint me a lot uh varmints bet I ain't neber dun put the skins back on an all. Dese cheer boots is lahk a skin and dey ain't spose tah be sew dang tightnenin an all an dat dare boy scoutin wanna be share-eef a thenkin he ees a gonna gib dat nahc man Bob a tickettin an all an he be at dat dare donuttin shop more an he be fahtin dah crimes an all an he be a struttin.....*Bonniegirl whinces as she attempts to put the still swollen right foot into the left boot and finds it does not look quite right but continues* Dese cheer boots dun shrunk-ed up whilst I was a bein a nursin mah feets.............dey is so dang tight an all an dat dare bullet be a runnin an a skippin an a smilin....I amma thenkin she be smilin tah cover up all uh dem pains an all frum dem dare boots she be a wearin........*The zipper is halfway up on the second boot and with a tsk or two, Bonniegirl decides the flappin situation is ok as at least the feets are covered from steppin on the thorns and the briers and the sticker burrs around these parts. She rises, steadies herself with toes pointed east and west and heels wobblin and the left heel is caught between the 2x4s on the newly constructed porch (go ahead and LOL, all of you women have gotten your heels stuck like that).....beginning to take the first step and the one foot not joining in leaves Bonniegirl flat on her face on the porch.....she begins the cursing and the howling for help*

Good Lawd Jesus in dah heavens,,,,I knowed ya bin a worryin all over dah worlds fer bigger prolems dan dis be but I cain't takes it no moe....I dun got me a cursin on me an all..........I bin a good womans an all an If'n I dun bought me a funeralin home an all ...all dah peoples would quit to dyin..........I is dah dangest bad luckiest person what eber lived.............oh woe is me and Boo and Hoo and sniffle and sob and another Boo and a couple uh Hoos...........dis cheer ain't raht an dat dare share-eef, dat plastic star badgin wearin boy scoutin KY jelly man an all an has sech a nahc wife an all an whats do she be a seein in em?............Lawd if'n ya ain't busy..cin ya hep me?

*Bonniegirl wiggles the foot out of the boot, pries the heel out of the 2x4s and puts the boot back on. She stands, ever leary of the cracks *and not wantin to break anyones backs an all* and stands..........the right is facing to the left and the left to the right and the zippers being half up leaves a flap on each inside causing them to meet each other with each careful step as they appeared to be clapping and encouraging Bonniegirls quest to meet up with this would be lawman and set him straight*

Lookey cheer you share-eef.....ya best be a watchin ober yer donuts an all an all yer udder nuts.............cause don't nobunny be tah messin wid Bob....no how an no way...........I gots me a long pole an a nasty lef hook an I cin black yer beady eyes raht out yer hid.............BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YER BONNIEGIRL IS A COMIN TAH MAKE GOOD ON DAT DARE SHARE-EEF...............IMMA GONNA SKINT HIM AN MAKE UP A NAHC BATCH UH SOME KY POTPIES...........*OK, so the potpies will have a little sweet donutty taste but we is gonna cook em*

*Bonniegirl is stumbling and holding onto whatever is available for balancing and right and left are pointed this way and that and the leather vest atop the flowered housedress and the curlers back in make for a maniacal site for all to see but she walks in a steadfast zig zagged way with sterness, purpose and her mouth is pursed in anger and in pain from the feets*

*She reaches the dock, unties the garvey and sets off on the lake and in an attempt to throw the sherrif off of her plans begins a singin a song made up as she goes, pretendin she is happy and unbothered by the recent accosting of the juice master*


Pass the popcorn please and a depends undergarment.......this next part should be hilarious when Bonniegirl catches up to the sherrif at the donut shop.

@skeeter.............every honey hole of fishin has skeeters..............we is needin ya............pull up a stump, choose your character and join in the Novella..............all are welcome............Medic, obviously, Bonniegirl is in need of some medical care...........couldn't you and cappadoc set up a first aid center at the hidey hole in Fishigan U.S of A?.........just sayin.............especially when the disaster prone Ciego returns...........we will be a needin some medical care..........drowning, thorny bushes, explosions..............yes, we need ya...............join in the Novella, the more the merrier.

Skeeter
I don't think Bobs Huffy can make it to Kansas. Pray for a tornado to take you to the honey hole instead of OZ
Just a thought
I will say a prayer your postman delivers the goods
you NEED it for medicinal purposes......Hey (SHH) you can go to the post office at 7am before they sort and beg for your mail.....say you are going out of town...........pull the shades and vape yerself into oblivion
tee hee
Good Luck with USPS *poor guy depending on USPS*
Bonnie

*Bonniegirl hollers from the boat*

Done be tootin no hornins....I be on a inveseegatin on dat dare share-eef an I done wanna makin heem all scairt an be a runnin from dah bait an donuttin shop...he bees slow an all but I got dis cheer feets prolem an all an dese cheer boots is a slow an all an I no bee a needin no prolems

You know what you're getting yourself into don't you? Better build a special treatment room just for Ciego, one for the Sheriff, a podiatry center for Bonniegirl...don't forget a vet clinic for the wolfie and all the kitties we have at the hidey hole...make sure you're well equiped to remove ..... willow and thorns and tight thongs.... how big will this building be ahummmmm?

I know!! I think the hidey hole is going to keep me really busy. Maybe that Doc will come back to help one day.

Kitties??? I thought them's posse 'possums. y'know from what I hear'd for all them teeths them critters has dey hardly evr bites ya... they bare them suckers, snarl n sniff n huff (not the bike) n fall over dead-like. Jus sayin'.... kitties don' usually act that way.... from my 'sperience, kitties is mean, scratchin' bitin' spittin' animals what makes ya teary-eyed n sneezy n coughy n such. jus sayin'.
lest of course yer talkin' bout the spacekitty r grammakitty.. r one o dem other'ns what's a diffrnt breed altogether.... jus sayin'

Now that's what I is talkin bout! Yous betta watch out cause we got the posse possums, the snarl n sniff n huff kitties, and don't ya forget bout Ciego's skunkie group...yeah he's a gottum too but won't tell no ones bout them there skunkies. So you's betta be prepared withs alot of tomatoes joose (not a flavor oh please).....uhmmmm Bloody Mary.....nope...forgetta bout it...not a good idea....cause you's gonna need to take care of tham skunkies as well....and nots only them skunkies but them there newbies round these parts that has a no ideas whatta goes on round here in these parts of the woods.....

Man....I can't talk like this...it hurts too much...and too damm hard to spell as well Don't know how Bonnie keeps up with it...or what it may sound like for Ciego LOL.

*limps back with bent rim General Huffy Lee* "Hey guys I forgot the bridge was out and at the last minute though maybe the General Huffy Lee could jump it"............. *covered in mud, clothes tore from the wild rose patch, and ego gone (not the PV)* ....... "Please don't tell the share eff about this"

*Limps down to dock (not the Doc the medic mentioned) washes an unknown object Lake* .......... mumbles to self "self if Aunti M would see this PV case right now she'd cry" *OMG (not the joose) I can sees the outhouse (the one on the PV case not the real one) * "I better get cleaned up" ...........jumps in the lake .. swims a while underwater while using the KBV exclusive snorkle PV, creates a fog on an otherwise glassy still lake.............


KBV Announcement
We worked over 12 hours today and are 90% caught up. We actually can squeeze a few more orders out for afternoon PO(not mad) drop tomorrow.

We sold 300-400 bottles of liquid since Saturday. Some stock is getting low. Please check the site for stock prior to ordering. As of right now only Cherry Cobbler, Jamaican Ginger Mint, and Snickerdoodle are out of stock I have 500 bottles arriving tomorrow and about 100 on hand. I will order 1000 in the morning and pay priority for them.

The flavorings situation should only cause minor delays at best. It was just a few that snuck up on on and I will call to see about express shipping in the morning.

Windylou! welcome to the Hidey Hole where the Share eef is nuts (maybe we all are), a Blind guy runs around in a thong always falling off the dock or into the ..... .... willows. It's warm here, as you can see medic got sunburned and the fire is glowing nice . The coffee shop and doughnut shop are just up the way and the outhouses are just around the corner there.

Bonnie was talking about piggies maybe she's giving piggy back rides IDK(which is not a joose BTW) BTW (BTW is not a joose as well yet). Sometimes IDK (which isn't a joose) WTF (which is a joose) are actually jooses. OMG! (Yeah a joose) I forgot LOL (another joose).

Anyway I was going to say SmokingBullet has a smoking hot ATV and will give you a ride to any of the above mentioned places.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Well., Honey Hidey Hole Fisherfolk from Fishigan U.S of A.
This cheer be my last will and testyment fer the surgery today.
I be a havin some botox *not for the looks ya arses* I be havin it sews I cin swallow. See, Dat dare heart an all is gots all dem nervous thangs linktin tah udder places an won uh dem be dah swallowin hole an all an dis cheer swallowin hole be a grabbin at dah food stead uh pushin it down into the innards lahk it spose to. Sew, ifn dat dare Doctor be a peein *lahk dat dare Michael Jackson Doctor* or ifn he be on a portant phone callin *lahk dat dare Michael Jackson Doctor* an if'n mah lawyer was tah go gits me some moe drugs tah covers up what the first doctor did *lahk dat Anna Nicole Marilyn wannabe* and I goes tah dah big Honey hole in dah sky....dis cheer be where I be wantin all my good belongins tah go
-gib dem dare high falutin leader boots tah ole Bullet, she no mahn if'n dey cause the festerin an the sqishin uh dah pigs what went to the market all dah way to the wee wee wee one. an she bin a good fren tah me with the break out uh the grey hotel an all
-gib dat dare basement cat a lil lick uh all uh mah jooses.....be carefel cause dat cat will overeat and git a nic heaachin
-gib dat wolfie dem festered furry slippers.......he cin plays wid em an all an dey is warm .....tell em tah put em in dah chlorination fore he chews on em cause dem is festered
-gib mah mod collection tah sweet Mini and Missy tah sharin......tell em dat dey ees dah best frens what a womans cin want an tah treat em nahc, eben the LEZ one named Princess Penelopee pee she is a lahkin her own kahnd, sews, gib her to dat dare Montgomery woman
-gib mah jooses tah all dah folks what ain;t got the money fer KBV jooses *if'n dey ain't got no 6.95 cint hiw tah hell did dem smokes?* bet dat ain't dah point cheer. all cept dat dare tootsie an dat Mommas Angel wings...........put dat rah cheer in dah box wid me..you neber knowed if'n dem Hindus is rah an I be a comin back in a nudder life an all an I wants a good vape wid me.............yeah, put in Senior Roberto Tekkibahn too, I be a needin sumfin tah vape dem jooses wid an dah batry lahf be real good on dat one an it be sentimentally nach cause Bob dun build em fer me.
-gib mah good housedresses tah ciego *he needs some clothes FFS, we all bin goin blahnd seein em in dat dare shoestringin up his .... an all*
-gib dat are pocketknife I gots tah skydragin cause he bin a raht nahc tah me an he be nedin it in dis here cut throatin werld an all
-gib dem ole bean cans tah dah motorcyclin boys an tell em dey bin raht frendly tah me an dey cin takes em tah dah metal scrapper an git enuff uh dat dare sothernin comfortin what dey lahk
-now dis cheer is dah one what bees a worryin after me. Under dah leff bosom ees a small case what got mah egg monies.....*dat be womans talk fer our keepin dah change frem dah groceriyin money* an I wants tah build me a nach swing down bah dat dare lake an all sews eberone cin set a spell an swang an all an dey cin memerdare Bonniegirl were cheer
-dat dare necklicin wid mah mommas picturin in it .......gib dat tah Sandy K, she dont know my momma an my momma dont knowin her bet the metal is gold an all an she bin a raht golden poison tah me
-now dem dare curlers, gib dem tah anyone what wants a nice hairdoin...dey werks real fahn an all
the lass thang what I be wantin tah go tah someone ees a real share-eef badge *not a plastic star* tah dat dare KY jelly man Chris........if'n ya all cin lets em believe he be dah lawman an all I preciate it..........he be a needin some portant werk an all......he is slow, bet he is a good un
now to dat dare game warden DLite............I leave him wid dese werds...............squirrels eat nuts...........nuts is crazy..........did you eat a squirrel?..........jess haves him be a thenkin on dat one
and last but not least.......Preacherman Hy, I leave him wid mah family Biblin, what I bin had fer many years an learnt a lot. I specially lahks dah werds in red an if'n more peoples would read dem words we werent tah havin no judgin an pointin an high falutinin an all dat stuffs.........
Aubergine cin hab mah cabin if'n she want eet...........she fits in real good an all an I likes her an she no be tryin no funny stuff or conivin an beady eyed stuffs.
ahem................if'n I lives, y'all ain't gittin anythin cept dat dare packages I sen tah Basement cat, Missy an Mini an I hopes ya lahks em. If I ain't dead an I lives tell dat dare varmint KY dat I ain't forgot what he dun tah Bob and I gits strong I gonna peck hees eyes raht outta hees hid.

Sencerly
Bonniegirl in her raht mahnd on dis cheer date in February on the twenny second uh dah monf in dah year uh hour lawd two thousin an eleben

Now Bonniegirl, you jus' be takin' care o y'sef n don't be goin' on about no passin' on. You jus' come back n read to me some of them words in red y'sef. I needs 'em mor'n anyone n I'm thinkin' it'd be sweet music t'da hidey hole to hear yer readin' of it. I be prayin' fer yer safe return n da hands of da Doctor bein' guided by da Lahwd.

Now look here, Bonnie, you stop talking like that. I am touched and honored and tearful beyond words but I'm not gonna budge from this outhouse til you home safe. Which you are gonna be. And if you look out the window and that little moon on the door's all lit up from inside that's just me sayin so.

Yeah, come back to us soon Bonnie, besides grabbing the furry slippers and shaking them wont be as much fun if they aren't attached to your feet!

*curls up on the bark o lounger*

Sorry I haven't been around to post lately, just don't want to bring any drama to the hidey honey hole fishy spot, but been a depressed wolfie wondering what the point is anymore.

Wofie. U listen here... we have all felt that way, and it aint nuttin that a good belly rubbin and some scratchin hind them ears wont take care of! I be needin ya to keep my seat warm! (((((((((((wolfie))))))))))))

Awww, thanks Missy! ((((()))))) yeah I know we all have. I'll get passed it I am sure, just takes a while sometimes that's all.. I'm not going anywhere though..

I be home safe but I ain't got my wits about me....*Did I ever?*
Thanks fer the prayers and well wishes
Missy, why you pit mah father up dare?

Amen tah dat!

Imma cook some uh dat chicken what tah hell tunite fer sure!

If I ain't knocked out from dem good stuffs dey gave tah me.

*hopes at this point yssiM sent bonniegirl the Butter Rum Pecan Ice Cream*

"Hey DP (wow baseball and douple plays be here soon) we beta tested a Butter Pecan Rum Ice Cream and everyone that received it is ordering it. We haven't fully stocked for it which is why I haven't listed it but we can run a few ounces.

*figures since he said ounces and not gallons bonniegirl isn't interested* .......... *mumbles to self about how the Phillies stick and the Cards are the best team ever*

LOL (attempted and possibly revisited joose). I haven't slept much lately. Like I said before I feel blessed to have the orders I have, I just wish I had time to hang at the Hidey Hole .

*get's on the 50cc scooter to check the place, the bent rimmed General Huffy Lee is in for repairs* .................. "place looks nice and peaceful guys, purdy clean too, can tell Bonnie wasn't around by the lack of empty bottles" (Walker,not joose) ...............

*inspects outhouses* ""WTF I see Ciego's A.N.U.S. (Armageddon Nicotine Use System) *hears a sound* Onomatopoeia!

Dodging all of Ciego's U.N.I.T.S. (Universal Nicotine Intake Tubing Systems) manages to hang sign "

KBV announcement
Jamaican Ginger Mint Snickerdoodle and Cherry Cobbler are out of stock until Friday at latest. We may not get all packages processed in 24 hours, we think we will but be prepared for 48 hours from time of payment worst case.

I have been inputting tracking or delivery confirmation manually in your invoices, it should email you when I do. I am going to start skipping the additional step of sending you tracking via PM or email as it will save time for mixing and I believe it is just a duplicate action. You should be able to track by viewing your invoice.

Thanks for all the support, when I say that I don't just mean the orders, I mean all the kind words I receive and sharing and caring I see here at the Hidey Hole.

Very good review TTW! Thanks for sharing it

I just got done helpin our 11yr old do a poster for school... I actually like doin that kind of stuff w/ him.. (kinda) Bout bed time for me, just had a play catch up at the hidey hole! No signs of our Bonniegirl I hope she is feelin ok.
****shoos Wolfie outta the barkOlounger, to sit down, moanin as shes sits, And then calls wolfiwe back up in her lap****
Ebby lil tang gon be iight wolf.. **Starts signing the Marley song** Wolfie howls... "nice singin dare wolfie"

Night my hidey hole firends..till tomorrow!

Even the Sheriff can take time to help the lil critters! Actually, this is a great cause... I have a rescue ferret (well, my daughter originally rescued and I rescued from her year old blue heeled) and have had three other ferrets. That are wonder fur babies and there are many that need help. Please take a moment and for a wonderful person and a wonderful cause.

Sorry I have not been around the camp fire more in the last week, work is crazy and have been very busy. I will try to post more often the rest of the week.

*Bonniegirl is coming out of the drugged stupor, looked around, figured out how much she loves Texas, skeeters,aubergine, woodstock, new vapers that find good jooses fast without spending their last dimes and mortgaging their houses, friends, giving peoples, WOODSTOCK (cause I was there!) and even ferrets....(Are they in the same family as tree rats? Cause one of them pooped on me and I hold grudges), tumbleweeds, people that bump e-liquid review threads that tell the dang truth about good joose at good prices and MOST of ALL....................being alive and being able to swallow food!............HOORAY for the GI doc and the Botox and the Good Lord what gave the Doctor the skill to allow me to live and EAT all in the same dang day!*


Pass the blankie and the pillow.......I feel a nap cming on, that anesthesia stuff is strong!

*Awakens to a cool breeze and grey walls* WTF(not the JoOse) happened to me, Looks around to find bars on the windows and doors. Growls

*Bonniegirl pokes head out window of cabin and looks around.......speaking aloud*

Whew dat dare medeecscenes what dat dare doctor dun give me was worser dan dat Ms Walker. Ye cain't be a openin ah eyes eben if'n ya be wantin to. Dat dare nursey womans were real nahc till she took dat dare stabbin in dah arm an all an den dey be a givin me dah stuffs what make ya worser dan dat Ms Walker.........I be dang.....lookey cheer..........did day be wensday...................

*Bonniegirl is laughing aloud and falls back and rolls on floor laughing*

Dat dare Big Pat in dat pokey when dey dun lockt me up an all she ne a askin dat jailer man share-eef occifer "Hey when is I gittin out uh cheer? and den he be a sayin Wensday an she say wensday and he sayed yeah...wensday ask fer ya! If dat werent dah dangest funny lookin face she dun had what I never seed in mah life...................hey lookee dare at dat dang share-eef walkin aroun wid hisself all lookin portant an all..........who dat (Not the Saints) in dat dare outhouse now? Sumpin is a brewin.......eye cin feels it in me bones an all...I cin...........Imma gonna put on me boots an set out a lookin fer trouble------ahem----------I be a lookin tah see what is troublin

*Bonniegirl begins the laborious task of reskinning the feets with the boots and placing all of the days necessities in the bosom *yes, I will spare the details but there is a lot of KBV jooses* and begins her steadying and practicing on the heels and fusses with the hairs and pinches her cheeks (well she seen it done in the movies)and she starts on her way one foot in front of the other but the drugs have gotten the best of her and even though there were no cracks this time she still fell flat on her face and the booing and the hoing and the oh lording will commence as usual*

Oh Lawd why ya be doin dis tah me.I bin a good one an all an I been a barely visitin the Ms Walker an I shares mah vittles and mah vapes an all an I keeps all the secret Jooses a secret an dese feets an all is sorin me an festered an I cain't walk lahk a baby deer dun jest been bornt an all.........Boo and Hoo and woe is me and oh lordy and another Boo and a hoo and a sob, sniffle, slobber, choke, spit, sob and a boo for good measurin!


Pass the popcorn please and a tissue, this is a sad part again

***The sheriff walks down the hall to the cell that the no good former game warden Dlite is being held in and peers through the window. Seeing the nervous twitch and the constantly shifting eyes behind bars where he belongs, I know my job is almost done. The Jailor approaches.***

Sheriff - what you want us to do with him?

Well... I think you need to introduce him to Big Bubba in the shower and you could break out the rubber...hose and waterboard. Make him feel right at home so he knows not to still peoples joose! Will see who is booing and hooing after a few weeks in here. Maybe take him out and drag him through the wild rose patch... its all untamed and thorny.


***The sherrif walks out of the jail and hangs his hatand star by the door... I hear the roar of my Harley-Davidson, the smell of black leather and the sights and sounds of the road. This here lawman work is a bit much! Remember why I retired... Chasing down that Ciego and his A.N.U.S. and P.E.N.I.S weapons of mass destruction and dealing with all the nice folks turning on ya when you is trying to protect them from the bad ones like the Warden there... But that job is done and order is restored.

Walking up to the cabin and around back, I pull the trap off of my bike and fire it up... the rumble drifts out over the lake and I feel alive again. I climb on and head down the trail and WHAT is this??? But a leather clad beauty coming down the trail... Why its BonnieGirl, back in her leathers! well... good thing I got the side car hooked up and a bottle of Mrs Walker for her! Much more fun being on this side of the law!***

*thinks how he'll get Dlite out of jail* ...... " pssst D, watch out for Bubba" "Bubba may come after you with that hose......... the one used for the wild rose patch, not the ..... .....willows" ...... We may be done with that share eff after all there's talk of him riding again, possibly back to KY (not the jelly).....


***Pedals repaired General Huffy Lee around place thinking of way to save Dlite from Bubba**** "everyone Gotcoffee? Plenty of Auntie M's brewing" *has them distarcted for the moment by the sweet aroma of the joose*

"Bonnie gimme that vial of stuff quick!" ***fills the blow gun dart with vial (not the smell coming from the rose patch), aims for Bubba.............. Bubba is moving towards Dlite as he stares through the bars, has to make a quick decision.........

"boy i wish I had my range finder right now, that has to be 40-45 yards" *figures WTF (not the joose), blows dart with vial at Bubba* "SOB!(not a joose) I hit Dlite and he's going down!" Buuba's eyes just got big!"...... *wondering what to do next as he shakes vapes some OMG thinking Dlite is now easy prey......speaking of prey now's a good time for some of the other kind......... "Hy how are you?!?! Can you help???".......

<---gets her popcorn for the show...LOL

Sitting by the fire toasting a marshmellow , how nice and quiet the camp is .

Wait!! WTF ( not the joose) is that bike coming through raging like a tiger outta control ! It is the sheriff all in black leather and Bonnie girl in the sidecar! OMG me thinks his sheriff days are over !

Off they go tearing down the road like the hounds were a chasin them !

Well now isnt that somethin. Hope he remembers the bridge is out. There goes boB runnin like mad too! WTH is happening to our quite camp tonight ?

Uh Oh!! There goes that scoundrel warden runnin the other way! I though he was in the steel chateau.

Ah well theres no accounting for what will happen next here in the hidey hole. I better get back to the cottage were it is peaceful tonight and sew up another case.

Picks up her vape and coffee and heads down the trail.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

<Cheesy jingle music to the tune of Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me>

Good morning Fishigan U. S. of A. welcome to KBV radio the sounds of the old, the new and the fishy. The weather today is well............sunny in some parts and snowing in other parts.........*well, Fishigan is a wide world of vaping*

Today we will be discussing discipline. I went to the grocery store yesterday and was pushing my shopping cart with three wheels...*Yeah, I always get the crippled ones*.....and a kid of about 6 years old walked in front of the cart and bumped it causing the one wheel in the rear wheel drive shopping cart to turn sideways and come to a grinding halt .....thus pressing my abdomen against the hand grips in a vice grip manner. I was stunned and turned to see who that masked man was or is. The child was in pajama bottoms with feet in them, had no shoes and a coat that was unzipped and flapping as he ran throughout the store. His nasal passages were clogged with crusted week old secretions and some had dried on his face making a nice artistic modern art look upon his skin. Soon after the appearance of "superkid" the masked *with snot* kid and the "accident with the shopping cart" a horrendous screeching voice is heard. RUBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I turned to look at a haggard woman. She looked like she had not slept in twelve days and had not bathed in a month of Sundays. Her voice had two decibels......louder and loudest . She and the sweet child Rubin had quickly become the talk of the grocery store, the free entertainment, the brunt of all kidding and the center of our grocery store world. I escaped to the fresh fruit aisle thinking that staying close to the carrots would ward off the evilest of children, but alas, he was fondling the melons nearby and of course ten feet behind and speaking in a tone which said he were a 100 yards away was his dear mother. For the sake of brevity.......te rest of the trip including Rubin get out of the cart as he was atop the bread and rolls in her basket, Rubin, leave that alone as he was trying to stack boxes of cereal to make a pyramid inside the aisle for walking and a few broken bottles in aisle 12 or so the loud speaker said and all wondered was it RUBIN? Shortly thereafter, the question was answered by the voice of the Mother of all superkids with her all too familiar RUBIN!!!!!!!!!!!
When I was a little tacker, going to market was a special outing. If I was allowed to go, I held the side of the handle, asked for nothing and touched nothing. All my Mom needed to do was give me "THE EYE." Yes, you all know that eye. The one that said if you stepped one more inch or touched one more pinky finger onto something, or even looked like you were thinking of doing it............there would be dire consequences. NOT the promises not kept or the threats untended....there would be consequences and they were very real. There would be no getting down on her knees to make eye contact for my Momma. She wanted to look bigger, badder, smarter, wiser and in charge. She was immense......not in size but in her very presence one knew they were in the presence of a force greater than yourself. We listened to this woman. She could do things. We knew it. We had seen it. We had felt it. We were not abused. We were disciplined. She never asked me about my "feelings." I was a kid and did not have a right to any. She did not allow me to talk when adults were talking as I "haven't lived long enough to have an opinion yet, I will let you know when you do." My Momma had more power in her left eye than every young parent on my block has in their whole bodies. She disciplined me and because she did, I am a disciplined person. I pay my taxes, follow speed limits *OK, once in a while I go over a bit*, answer all of my certified mail *even if it is for someone else and not my social security number and there was an error* and I treat others courteously. I am a better citizen because of my Mommas eyes.
As I was taking my bags to the car *Yes, up north we do that ourselves you southerners* I overheard Rubins momma say, "he is having a bad day, he is so tired." Wow....Rubin is having a bad day? What a shame. If I was his Momma or if he had my Momma his day would have been even worse. DONTCHA JUST HATE WHEN PARENTS MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEIR KIDS?
IDK whether time has made me wiser or I have changed but now that I am raising my five year old grandson I am making sure I don't need to make excuses for his behavior. Maybe I am wrong......perhaps this new age thinking about rearing children could have helped Rubin at the grocery store. We all could have gathered around, stooped to eye level, asked how he was feeling and applauded his engineering skills when he built the cereal pyramid. We could have announced to clear the aisles so he could practice his physics exercises in pushing shopping carts and then felt bad that he was grumpy and tired and tucked him in a cozy blankie in the back seat and if he didn't want his seat belt on we could explain that he is a free thinker. DONTCHA JUST HATE when you didn't think quick enough to do things the right way?

We would like to thank our sponsor Kick bass Vapor for their support of this special programming. Kick bass Vapor, the best e-liquid at the best price, where they won't keep your 2 cents change, are never bothered to give good customer service and make no excuses for anything cause there is nothing to excuse. Kick Bass let em lure you in!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming of the KBV Novella, ask Bee Oh Bee, The jelly Man Says and of course KBV radio the sounds of old, new and well......fishy

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella 69 Chapter 69 Paragraph 69 The Rath of Bubbu

*As Bubbu approaches Dlite with wide eyes I feel horrible and can't ATM (not a joose) find a way of correcting my bad shot caused by the massive cloud of vapor clouding my vision* "Dlite! Watch out Bubbu's coming at you with his U.N.I.T (Universal Nicotine Intake Tube)!" *Dlite is groggy and fading fast* ............... *Bubbu gets out his U.N.I.T ....... the suspense builds as I feel powerless* ............ *As I notice Bubba is interested in Dlite's joose and not what I initially thought, it comes to me.*

..... "Bubbu hold on!" *Waits for massive vapor fog to clear so he can make an accurate hit this time, tosses Bubbu a bottle of OMG (yes the joose), Bubbu promptly puts his U.N.I.T to use and all is well again at the Hidey Hole* ......"whew what a close call, now all that is left is to find a way to get Dlite out of jail and the Share eff done rode back to KY (not the jelly) on his Bike with the keys!"

Spent the day chasing down the share eef for the keys and mixing joose. Most of you should have your shipping info. There are a few packages that ordered the Jamaican Ginger Mint despite it being out of stock. The larger orders were sent and the back order bottle will be sent Saturday. Some o the orders won't go out until Saturday morning. We have a few slots open for tomorrow shipping yet as we are still mixing and closed the gap on ordering.

I'll drop in by the fire later. *waves to NCV and wonders what her CB handle is?*

*Bonniegirl comes wallkin in a zig zag pattern toward the donut/bait/tackle shop.....her boots are as usual on the wrong feet and half zipped and as usual the flaps are hanging and clapping against each other as though they were cheering her on. (and boy she needs it with the festered feets and the soreness)..she walks in a determined and purposeful zig zaggy way and her face is pursed and determined..........she walks into the bait/tackle/donut shop and greets everyone*


Morning to Y'all (that was for our texas tumble weed).........be a fahn mornin fer some vapin cheer at the honey hole..........dis be dah bestest dang vapin I be a gettin in my eentar lahf. Dis cheer jooses be sew dang good an all an well........I bin a drenkin eet win dah Ms Walker be low an all..........an it done gib ya no prolems an all cept if'n ya drankin too much an all ya cin gits a hidachin an a fuzziness in dah thenkin parts an all........an dem dare agel wings'll take ya raht ta dah hebens .......dey will............and den dey be gotten dem ones what got all uh dem letterinns an all............lahk dat O.M.G. and dat W.T.F and dat L.O.L...............OMG(Noth the jooses) I be a tellin a secret on dat LOL I beleevin............dat dare bee Oh Bee ees gonna be raht mad at me an all an I be in a mess uh troublin too............ah fughettaboutit*well, I am from NJ an all*..........I cain't be a worryin off mah bee hiney bout nobunny bein all mad at deyself fer tellin me sumpin an all...........dey knows I be nosey an I bee tellin alls I knows an all all cept dat dare baccy bizness..........no way I be a tellin dat one.............no way an no how..........cause Bee Oh Bee gots hisself a shotgunnin an all an I sink if'n I tole ya'll (nother one fer the tumblin weed) he would have tah kilt me dead............yep.......dead...............D.E.A.D. an alls knowed I no be habin no monies fer no funeralin an all..........how dat dare crumby donuttin be dare Mini?........who dat?(No not the Saints)..yeah I know mah tick be high an all, I sayed I will pay ye on dah third uh dah monf...........Ya ain't gonna extend no more creditin?..........*boy dis cheer place bin goin tah dah dogs an all*...........well, cin I smell yourn? *yeah, it sounds like urine but it ain't*.dis cheer place sure ain't a readin the wordin in red fer sure of dat dare biblin.


Pass the chocolates please and I voted fer the critter ferrets .....did you?

Now Bonniegirl you know I luvs ya and I wouldnt deny your sweet self a crumb doughnut. Have some of mine and smile girl it is gonna be a great day here at the hidey hole.

boB tol me he is building us a parvilien or what ever that is. Think he said a place to sit out of the rain and such down by the fire.
He is always lookin out for us no matter what . To make it even better we have one of those washer machines with the rollers on the top in the old shed down past the doughnut shop too now! Is a bit of work but you can wash your clothes there now too!

Whats that you said ChrisKY? You wanna cup of Java? Ok Dokey here ya go

***As Mini and Bonnie are chatting in the doughnut shop, the roar of a v-twin engine comes rumbling down the trail up front. Through the window, they see a black leather clad figure climbing of the chrome monster and walking to the door. As the door opens, they see that it is none other than the Jelly Man ChrisKY (not the jelly). No longer the sheriff, just his ole self again a riding, and a vaping. Strolling up to the counter, large paper sack in hand...***

Howdy ladies! Just the folks I wanted to see! Bonnie, I made a stop at the state store for ya - three black dress wearing Mrs Walkers and I also brought ya a ounce of angel wings, Tootsy, and OMG (yes, da Joose).

Mini, here is a bunch of clothe for your sewing... Figured since I was in town I would grab ya some.

Pour me up some Aunt M's and a bit of that crumble doughnut. I spent all day getting Ciego's shopping list. Not sure what the generator and the jumper cables are for, but he says he finally has his design perfected! He just calls it V.D. Vaping Device... Said he picked up his V.D. On his trip to Florida... Some lady saw him trying to insert his P.E.N.I.S into the A.N.U.S. - took him aside and gave him the V.D. She also gave him a cream (not my jelly) that helps it work better.

Anyway... Got to get his stuff dropped off. You gals take care.

Chuck glad you love the joose! OMG (not the joose) I almost forgot to welcome you to the Hidey Hole. Pull ya up a stump and sit by the fire, here at the Hidey Hole like to share joose and stories while sitting around it. Sometimes we don't know WTF (not the joose) is going on but we have a good time


Thanks Hy I'm sure you would. The problem is is that we'd like to shut down for the weekend to relax. It's next to impossible to get anything done on the weekend because most of the peope I need to deal with are Mon-Fri 9-5. I really don't know what to do because we fill everyday with orders just like it is but a know a HUGE amount of people that want the site up to process CCs again. I may close ordering a few days next week to finish everything off.

Bonnie I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am heavily armed

Welcome back to the one and only KY! (Jelly man) I heard you coming a mile away!

If Ciego keeps messing with his U.N.I.T. (Universal Nicotine Intake Tube) he's going to end up with in the end with an S.T.D. (Standard Technology Device.).

I'll take orders via PM and orders@kickbassvapor.com over the weekend, however I may not get back to you except in the mornings and late at night. That also will in all likelihood put us at at least a 48 hour turn around starting Monday on some orders.

Orders will be processed in the order received. All orders other than the ones I just took and the few waiting on the arrival of the flavoring for the Jamaican Ginger Mint should have their shipping info input on their invoice as well as have just been dropped at the PO (not mad.....maybe a little at Bonnie)

Bee Oh Bee be mad at me?..................oh woe is me..............boo and hoo and another boo for good measure..................I been a good customer and I done did a good review and I be here at the hidey honey hole funnin and all and I paid all my fines, got tested for STDs and other communicable diseases.............I don't tell no SECRETS about the bacco line............and above all I make very good radio shows. I am sooooooooooooooo confused...............a boo and a hoo and a whinein and apinin and a snifflin and schnockle *that be the schnozolla*......and a woe is me.................I am gonna take my mossy stump and go elsewhere...............wait!....................nm...........they ain't got no KBV jooses!............I am sorry Bee Oh Bee, my but you are lookin studly and manly today and are you using the ab glider? I hear it makes the six pack like the situation and you. WOW what a manly man you is..........you look mahvelous..................you do...........ahem..........Missy is one lucky woman.............that be for sure................WOW, I hope you forgive me. *WTF did I do?*
kbahbah...........cul...............okey dokey............TTYL...............BBL

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Hello Happy Honey Hidey Hole fisherfolk!
Its time for Jelly Man says... Being brought to you by:

Kick Bass Vapor - Best joose at the best price... Let them Lure you in!

Setting here on a nice, quiet Friday night, watching the news and something occurred to me - People are NUTS! (and I do not mean in a good way like all us folks)

OK, Story one: War in the middle east... What can I say... ITS THE MIDDLE EAST for crap sake... ever read history? WHEN has there not been war in the middle east. OK... This is a NEW WAR or wars rather , but come on - Not a big surprise and we have been hearing about it every day for a week. sooooo point of story? Gas prices going for all time high (oh there is a shocker) that has been the news for about...oh... all my life. When does gas prices go DOWN.

Story two: Charlie Sheen blah, blah, blah, blah... YEAH WHATEVER! you all saw it and I WILL NOT give his drunken, drugged out, SUPER WEALTH .... more air time. Make me laugh... I do not care about your personal life! He is an entertainer - DANCE MONKEY, DANCE all I want to see from any Hollywood types.

Story three: So silly woman gave personal information to some freaky guy she went to high school with 20 some years before on Facebook and she kind of remembered he was weird and he wanted to chop her head off.... once again...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! This is news how? Stupid is as Stupid DOES! I would not give my phone number to someone that contacted me and IF I did, would not be surprised at what happened - HOW is THIS news? I call it Genetic Cleansing!

I will not even get into the rest of this... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! BUT I did notice that in the LAST 2 minutes of the broadcast the said... Oh, by the way, a local fireman heroically saves a child in a blazing fire and gets injured in the process...

(See my dumb stare)

They spent the WHOLE SHOW on this other stuff and the story of a local hero gots 60 seconds of coverage... WOW.

OK, the point of this rant is to not just tune in and tune out, but pay attention to what the media is force feeding us... Am I saying that the crisis in the middle east is not valid news? NO - but every news cast I have seen all week has said the exact same thing - WHERE is the "New" in news? Now, next time you see a political news story, stop and think about WHAT they are saying and what the issue is before you let "Them" make up you mind on the issues and take the time to verify your "News" in more than one source - you will be surprised at what you find out.

OK...That is my rant for the day! Promise we will get back to the normal insanity on the next edition of...

Jelly Man Says!

Brought to you by Kick Bass Vapor ONLY on KBV Radio!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

We here at the Hidey Hole have plenty of room fer anyones wanting to move right in. Why we's gotta a nice piece of private property fer sale...has a view, 2 story property with a private deck...or fishin dock...whatever... and is all pretty too.Anyones interested come see Bullet...ya all better act quick cause I's know it ain't gonna last long.

LMAO....Looks like you figured out how to post a pic before I got back to ya! Thats a mighty fine estate right there!!! Some prime real estate..Y'all better jump on that right now!

I'll take it! Now where am I gonna put the garage for my bike? Anyone got some empty 55gallon drums? make me a floating garage pontoon.

Good Saturday to ye, Hidey Hole Fisherfolk! Enjoying a relaxed afternoon and a new order of KBV joose. Here is a Saturday, National Geographic moment: Have discovered that groundhogs can climb trees! (rather quickly too, when being chased by two big black dogs!) No kidding! It shimmied up that tree just like a squirrel after a nut, I was pretty impressed! On that subject, have also discovered that my ChrisKY (aka: Jellyman) can shimmy up a mailbox pole when the KBV joose order arrives!! ...just like a squirrel after a nut. He's got his Nutty Uncle KY and is a happy boy. Would also like to give great kudos to boB and yssiM for adding the sample of Butter Cream Icing! It's oh, so good!!! Thanx guys!!

Well at least you found it. Next time just blow us vapor signals and we'll find you Yes, PM me for ordering right now. I will pick a few days next week to close ordering and finish everything up on the site. Probably Weds and Thurs it's looking like, so hopefully it'll be ready to go for the weekend.

For the record one vapor cloud means send Bullet on the ATV, 2 means I'm enjoying a peaceful walk by the lake and if you don't see me in an hour come looking, and 3 means OMG (not the joose) I'm vaping OMG (the joose) and do not disturb

Jelly Man Says
If you're not up by 9 on Saturday you're a lazy SOB, never mind you were up past 3 taking orders and doing paperwork........ Jelly Man Says!

Liking the BBIAB (joose) ideas, postal servers are down and trying to print label as there is a 3:30 Sat drop off 20 minutes from here. The darn PO (mad this time) is not cooperating.

Now who's hidey hole cabin do you think this belongs to?

Hmm that there be My BonnieGirl's Cabin!

*Bonniegirl crawls out of the bed in the cabin and puts feets upon the wooden floor and realizes the horrid boots *or the skins as she calls them* are still on.......the left is facing west and the right is facing east and in standing to go northbound she resembles a penguin......she walks and the heels are wobbling and shaking and shimmying and it is horrid..........she sits and commences her cursing of the skins the feets, the sun, the sky, the barkeep that flagged her last July, an old school teacher that told her she was a "child of ill repute",and a slew of other wrongdoers in her life. She begins the unpeeling or "skinning of the feets and legs" of the boots. This deskinning process could take a while so now may be a good time to drip and have a nice vape of KBV Bar.........<Jeopardy music plays in the background> We interrupt this program to bring you a news flash from a one time fan girl of one tastyfinger.........mind you Bonniegirl is still unskinning the feets and legs of the boots*

At one time, long ago, when the maker of Tastyfinger was a little tacker and a new biz......their atomic cinnacide and tastyfinger were the talk of the town..............being one who likes talk and town, I allowed myself the joy of ordering these two tremendously reviewed flavors.........well, AC was not my cup of tea and I sent it post haste to a friend with fewer alive taste buds to burn them out rather than mine. Tastyfinger quickly became my all day vape. As time went on and the business grew, the flavor changed as did the color. I quickly learned this was not for me. I also fell in quick lust with their caramel popcorn and ordered it and vaped it non-stop for months. Each time I ordered the color was different and the taste changed. The last time I ordered it came to me a blood red color. I sent an email to the owner to alert him that there was a problem and he stated "the caramel has just tanned the nicotine in the e-liquid".........hmmmm, never tanned it before? I am a nurse and to me red means two things, blood or pseudomonis..........just sayin..................NEVER AGAIN! I made my own caramel popcorn and tastyfinger and to make a very long story just plain long...........KBV can not be compared to anything ......NOW. BEFORE? Yes, the KBV bar tastes a bit like the OLD Tastyfinger....but better. The OLD tastyfinger has a more pronounced peanutty flavor where the KBV bar has a more pronounced chocolatey toffee flavor. That is just my opinion and is an answer to your question. IMO if one liked tastyfinger, they will love KBV bar.

Now back to our regular scheduled program..........

*Bonniegirl has freed her feets from the boots and commences to apply the stockings to make her way to the donut/bait and coffee shop for her usual talk/gossip and visit*

Howdy Hidey Holers Bonnie...gots you some bandages fer yer corns, and some aloe infused socks fer yer footsies...
***Hurries, and finds the skinned boots,and throws dem in dat dere fir....No mores of dem hurtin my bon!***
Phew!


Now for your viewing pleasure...BWahahahahaaaaaa

Missy, where did you get the video of my neighbors?

ahem....................must be a mistake, I don't live in Florida medic!
That be my house, my man, my sister, my Uncle Eddie and dat dare was Bee Oh Bee hisself drivin dat truck wid dah gun!

Vicki if those r ur neighbors then we must be neighbors too! cuz them be my neighbors too...Umm yeah.. i meant what i said.. i think you know what I mean!

Den we be neyborin too!

well howdy neighbor!!! How do?

heck... here is my place! I live down the creek.

View attachment 30883


Home sweet home

Chris bet it took you a coons age to collect all those license plates huh? mighty purdy and colorful, it sure is!

Fer gosh sakes Bonniegirl...are we related? I thought them was my friends. And were did ya all get the picture of me when I was a youngin in my rebel 2 piece? And yes, ya can see I was a smoking back then LOL.

Well heck VapnNow, since you showed us your baby, I guess I gotta show you mine.

And yes I guess you can say he's a redneck dog doing what he does best....

And one with his older brother...

Wanderin down past the fire pit off to the coffee bait and tackle shop this mornin I found a new addition to the hidey hole kinda stuck off to the side of the trail. Someone been busy ! Wonder who it could a been ? Looks like we got a hidey hole sauna! This here lil fishin hole is getting kinda upscale ha?

*** Ciego unloads a pallet of construction materials and begins sawing, hammering and generally making a ruckus. ***

Still too damn cold. This new custom 12-seater sauna will help keep everyone warm and happy at the old hidey-hole. It's a wet sauna, and instead of dripping water and eucalyptus oil on the hot rocks, I'm gonna be dripping KBV juice! This will be the world's biggest PV/sauna combo ever!

Now, all I have to do is figure out which KBV juice will go best with human sweat... not an easy decision.

*** While carrying an armload of cedar planks, Ciego stumbles and falls directly into an untamed rose bush.***

Aw, crap. Hey, I'm gone for two weeks, come back here and discover all kinds o new stuff! Ry 4? Wish I'd gone to the site before placing an order today! And where the hell did this nasty rose bush come from? I mean, I love the flowers, so young, fresh and pink... but the thorns are a helluva price to pay to get close to the buds, if you know what I mean. To quote Ween, "Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free..."

*** Reccovers, rises from the thorny bush and resumes construction.***

Yep, if I can figure a way to include my A.N.U.S. PV (patents pending), this will be the ultimate vapo-sauna!

***Riding down the trail, I turn a corner and almost run into a pallet of ceder plank. swerving to miss, I run through the rose bushes... wild untamed sorts and narrowly avoid the tanned, thong wearing wonder Ciego, fresh from the sunshine state on his latest quest for the ultimate group vape (he has a group obsession). I skid to a stop... gravel flying, trailing a streamer of wild roses - thorns dug into my chaps with petals all over. Hopping from my bike I approach Ciego and observe his fine carpentry; for a blind man.***

Ciego... aaahhh mighty fine sauna you building here! Things seem to be popping up all over... Hidey hole is a growing, well like tha tuntamed rose bush! Just sprouting every which way and now we are going to have a sauna. I DO need to ask how that new P.V. the nice lady in Florida gave you. What was it... OH, yeah... The V.D. - Vaping Device. After all the trouble with the A.N.U.S. and the P.E.N.I.S. PVs was really hoping that now that you got the V.D. you would give up on this crazy quest for a super PV...

*Bonniegirl peers over from the porch of her cabin and spies that crazy man inventor Ciego....better known as the "thonged one" building, nailing, cursing thorns and untamed bushes and rosebuds and stopping to wipe his brow of sweat and eliquid he has sprayed on himself trying to dripp and missing and the joose falling into the fan thing he is working on..........she spies him licking his fingers and his arms like a kid at a barbecue would with a corn on the con with butter dripping or a man.........well........ahem....that is for another cable channel late night...........Bonniegirl looks at her feet and sees that the blistering and festering and the soreness are subsiding but not yet completely healed and as such they need gentle care. She make a mental note to herself aloud....*

Self, ye best tah stay way frum dat dare ciegoin man........he be a ackseedent a waitin tah happenin...........he will hurts yer feet shure as dah pigs all wallow in dah mud

*Bonniegirl smiles at her own wisdom and is pleased she has a plan for keeping the feets safe an all......she places an old pair of moccasins on given to her by that nice Bullet and they are not festered with the puss from the previous blisters weeping and they are now wolfies play things for his posse of possums. She begins the filling of the bosom with the necessities of life *yes, I am gonna list them, we be gettin a lot of new hidey holers an all and they needs to know what be in the bosom besides the bosoms.....there is 2 Chucks, several 801 cartos, a few clearomizers, a few 901 and 801 attys and several KBV jooses all tucked neatly with Mommas Angel Wings closest to her heart,,,,,,she also has tissues, for the cryin spells, a chapstick for the dry lips an all and a nice airplane size bottle of the Ms Walker for medicinal purposes..........after the bosom is filled, she grabs her precious Senior Roberto Tekkibahn and the brown bagged Ms Walker in a nice black label............ahem...........dress...........she approaches the steps to climb down and is walking in a serious walking manner of trying not to allow the feet to touch the ground...........it is the eggshell maneuver, the walkin on hot asphalt or the walkin on hot beach sand kinda walk..she sets out and is talking to herself as usual*

Dat dare Ciego be dah nuttiestest won I ever did seed roun dese here parts............he be a makin dese crazy idears and den dey blows up an den we all be a runnin fer coverin an all..........he be the unusualist one I eber did met...........hey dare wolfie, howdy do to ya.....ya seed Bullet roun dese cheer parts?.......oh sorry ya grumpie growlin thang, go back tah sleep an keep dat seat warm fer yer Missy woman..........sheeeesh..........showin dem dare teeths an all.........dohn he be knowin I be dah one what bin a sufferin wid dah feets an all............Hey Dare jelly man!......How ya be doin? I shure be glad ya gibbed up on dat dare share-eefin wid dat boy scoutin uneeformin an all...............dat plasticky star was dah shureness ya werent a real lawman bet ya shore fooled a lot of dem *an yerself was lookin lahk a fool*.......I be lookin fer mah fren Bullet and fer mah fren Mini cause I be a needin me a donuttin an a coffee an I needs tah talk tah mah fren bullet fer a personal prolem....................ya seed eeder one?............No, I ain't got no Uncle Nutty KY....Yeah, you be real portent wid dem a namin dat after ya an all......ya is real special...........real speshul....*gots tah strokin dem mens dey is sew dang thin skinded*.......

*Bonniegirl trips over a log and falls face first into a wild rose bush full of thorns and the howling and hollering commence*

Dangnabbit dis cheer thorny ungodlyess thang.........dis cheer thorny thang dohn hab no frickin place cheer at the honey hole an all an boo an hoo an lookey cheer how mah curlers is alla wrappin roun dis cheer thang an dis cheer be dah worsest thang what coulda happenin tah a woman wid dah feets a festered an dah boots an all an now a walkin wid dese cheer injun shoes an dis cheer thang done pricked me in dah .... an all ober mah face an dis cheer is horriblness...........ohhhhhhhhh booooooooo and hooooooooooo and a sniffle and a whine and a nudder boo too an dis cheer be a mess uh prolems an me wid dah persnel prolems an all an now dis cheer undodly thang wid dah thorns an dey say dat dese cheer be a fahn smellin flowerin an all an dat be dah worstest lyin dat bin sayed....dis cheer smelt jest lahk dat chemically bomb frem dem wars..........dis cheer ain't be no fahn smellin thang an I be knowin one thang dat I has a good sniffer an I cin smells a nasty smell a mile wide and dis cheer ain't no fahn smell.............BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......oh woe is poor Bonniegerl, what she be a doin now? If'n I moob to dah lef den dese thornies will be on dah lef bosom an if'n I moob to dah raht I be gittin dem thornies in dah hairs uh mah ..well...........dem persnel ones an all an dis be a mess of trublin fer me......................cain't no bunny come an hep a fahn woman what ain't dun a dang thang tah deservin dis cheer lahf?

Pass the popcorn and a tissue.............I am feelin sorry for this poor Bonniegirl, she has so many problems and has such bad luck.

Mini comes walking down the trail and spots bonniegirl tangled in the rose bush! OMG girl how u do that to yourself??
Well lucky for u I have a pair of sizzors right here in my pocket. We'll get you out of this right fast now dont wiggle so much!!

There ya go , that there bush looks a lot smaller now , might not be so much of a problem anymore. Someone aught to dump some of that icky listerine joose in it that they have no use for now that there is KBV joose, that would finish it off so Bonnie no get stuck in it anymore

Now then Bonniegirl come with me , we will go get a nice crumb doughnut and find the Medic to patch you up again..

***Hearing Bonnie Girl's pathetic whimpering, Ciego drops his hammer in order to run and lend help. The hammer of course, falls directly on his foot.***

Aw, crap. Hey BonnieGirl, are you okay?

*** Hears Minnie trying to console the hysterically weeping Bonnie.***

Whew! Glad there's someone here to help. I gotta get back to my carpentry before the sun goes down.... oh wait, I work best in the dark... Now let's see, what's next? I think it's time for a carpentry maneuver I learned from Big Tools TV... I think it's called, "Circumcize the Hillbilly..." or something like that.

*** Ciego fires up the air compressor and attaches the nail gun...***

<To be continued>

BTW, BoB, what's the relative humidity at the hidey-hole?> I got sweat dripping....

***While ChrisKY (Yes - the Jelly Man) is talking to Ciego the thonged, blind carpenter of the Honey Hidey Hole when he hers the booing & hooing of bonniegirl stumbling down the trail... Bobbing and weaving... Mumbling incoherently all the way. In between the the boos and hoos a understandable word slips through... "Thong... Mrs Walker... Feets... Boy Scout...". Well - Bonnie is back to normal! Just as she nears the the construction site of Ciego's Vaping Sauna, she trips over her stumbling feet and goes face first into the wild roses... the untamed ones and becomes entangled. I start to run over to help but seeing BonnieGirl booing & hooing as she desperately tries to get out of the thorns while NEVER spilling a drop of Mrs Walker has me in stitches laughing so hard. I get to her as Mini_art arrives with her scissors and begins chopping and hacking at the tough, unruly plant. Taking chunks from Bonnie's house dress, a few curler and hair, but finally she is free and we help the poor sobbing lass to her festering feeties. Standing in the trail, Clutching her Mrs Walker with roses and thorns in her hair and from her dress she resembles a suburban gardening accident. Ciego stumbles up limping from the smashed to and dropped hammer and checks to be sure Bonnie is OK and then returns to his latest obsession with the kind of zeal only Ciego can muster.

From down the trail we see boB and yssiM coming with a basket... Wonder what they got in there? is it more of their incredible joose? is it baked goodies form the doughnut shop? is it some CLOTHS for Ciego?***

Praying for all who live in or near Tornado Alley.

*** Ciego shuts down the air compressor and quickly covers the project, materials and tools with a heavy tarp, wwhich he carefully stakes to the ground with 10" sharpened steel spikes.***

Oops.


Aw, crap...
*** Ciego carefully frees nailed portion of thong from stake.***

Whew! That was close. One inch to the left and I would have had to change my screen name to 'Ciega.'

It's okay, boys. You're safe. Ciego is done working for the night.

Gotta get me a bandaid though.... Aw, crap.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella 69 chapter 69 the kilt wearing, BBB gallon buying Rowdy Roddy Piper in a kilt weighs in.............



"now hey there Mr Piper, that there Jelly Man (KY) wears the kilt around here and Ciego and I wear the KBV thongs." "poor Auntie M gonna be embroidering KBV Kilts as well as KBV thongs now!"

Thanks for the input. That one has flown under the radar and just recently went out in beta testing, by all accounts it's time to list that one for ordering.


Speaking of flyin, that Texas girl done thought she was the 1st to join the OMG mile high club, well Ciego gots a story for Y'all, I think it's best to let him tell. Maybe the Next Episode of Jelly Man Says will feature Ciego talking bout the OMG (yeah the joose) plane ride, it's a good en, stay tuned.................





Nah wouldn't leave Y'all hanging like that. So the legend goes.......... Ciego is on a plane vaping away, ole boy next to him says "that there one of then EEE lec tron nic cigarettes?"

Ciego always using protection so as not to get V.D (Vaping Disfunction) pulls out a condom and pierces a hole in it to let ole boy give er a go. Ole boy says....................... "OMG (not the joose) what is that, it's good?!?!" Ciego says "it is OMG (the joose), that's the name"

Piercing condoms? I keep saying that Ciego is going to end up with an S.T.D. (Standard Technology Device) eventually.

Waving to Wolfie! Back in the Bark-o-lounger I see! Who's a good wolf... Who's a good wolf!

Mornin' t' the hidey hole folks. Who'd-a-thunk there'd be snow just outside of San Diego over the weekend. I was tempted t'let the folks at meetin' on sunday t'fend fer themselves n just sit in the ol' rocky chair by the fire. Cudn't do it.

Po Bonniegirl, all snaggled n snarled in them roses...booin' n hooin' with extra boos (not the ms Walker ... well maybe a lil) fer good measure. Hopin' th' good lawd gives ya th' sense t' get rid o them stilts yer callin' shoes. Seems t'me I disremember one o' the ladies givin' ya a pair a tennies n some slippers. Sometimes po' girl ... ya aint got the good sense Gawd gave a grape ... what with all the snivlin' n brown baggin' n shoes-a-wobblin' round th' fire. I know that ms Walker in a black dress has been yer friend for more years than any of us... but girl.... jus sayin'... she may not be the friend ya think she is (heavy sigh fo po ol' bonnie .... we cares so much f'her) *lookin' up t'heaven* " Lawd, pleez heal up ol' bonnies cuts n scratches n dry her eyes from the booin' n hooin' n give the ol' girl jus a little hope f'the love we'z all havin' t'ords her... we thanky' Lawd"

*steppin of the porch of the lean-to.... headin' over t' the fire t' see who's catchin' what n what's on the fire n IDK(not the joose) on third..... jus sayin'.*

*** Ciego pauses in his morning's occupations to check on his project. Luckily, not a single cedar plank is missing. ***

Guys, this is a great story. BoB alluded to it above, but the whole story is worth telling.

I vaped discreetly (or so I thought) on all four legs of my recent trip to/from Pensacola. Yes, on the plane. Yes, in my window seat. Yes, during daylight hours. Yes, the juice at least on the return was OMG (on the trip to Pensacola, I was vaping GV's Tropical Lemonade...a true winner as well).

Anyway, this fellow was seated next to me on the Pensacola-Memphis portion of the trip. As BoB told above, the guy actually exclaimed, "Oh my God, what is that great smell?" To which I replied, "The juice is called OMG." I did give him a vape to try, and he loved it. Said he was coming to ECF to check things out.

The best part however, was when I was waiting for a delayed flight from Memphis to Minneapolis. I was seated in the boarding lounge, openly vaping using a KR808D-1, although the KR8 is chrome with a green LED, so it doesn't resemble a cigarette. I guess I couldn't see the fog bank I was generating, but no one complained, not even nearby Delta personnel. A guy sitting about fifteen feet from me suddenly exclaimed, "What am I smelling? It's either Starbuck's or maple syrup..." I smiled and told him across the distance that I was vaping a juice called Caramel Cappuccino." We talked about e-cigarettes, vaping, quitting analogs and the like; he wrote down the URL for both ECF and for this thread.

Now, I would caution everyone: I *might* have gotten away with openly vaping, because nobody really wanted to bother a blind guy. Maybe. I certainly would *not* recommend vaping openly on an airplane, even though I did so. In fact, the Memphis-Minneapolis leg of my trip was made in the dark, and when the lights were turned on in the cabin after we landed, my seat-mate commented that I was generating "quite a cloud." Probably not the best public relations move I might have made.

Both the trip and many other experiences with vaping in public have convinced me that *most* folks are not offended by vapor from an e-cigarette. Many are curious, and I have the short patter down cold. I explain what I'm doing, how it will not harm them in any way, how I have substituted vaping for smoking after 35 years, and how much I enjoy the variety of flavors available. I have the logical response ready for most objections, although the most powerful retort will always be, "Sorry this offends you..." after which I tuck the e-cig back into my pocket until I am no longer in that person's presence. Also, and this *is* very important: In order not to provide a bad example, I *never* vape in front of children. This is an absolutely fixed position for me. As good as my vapor smells, very candy-like, as colorful and as high-tech as my PV is, I don't want young'uns to get intrigued and perhaps, start smoking. In the case of both the airplanes and the boarding lounges, I could hear no children anywhere nearby and so felt free to vape.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I need to go do some laundry. This thong is gettin' kinda sweet, if you get my drift. Haven't washed it since seven pages ago...

*** Ciego carefully moves away from the fire, extends his long white stick and heads toward the local laundromat.***

Yeah, but I'm not a good wolf, that's why Missy keeps me on the bark o lounger outside... I'm not house trained.

So Wolfie, do you like real bones or Milk Bones? I'm asking, because I just happen to have a box of Scooby Snacks in my backpack. Want some? Or would you prefer some KBV juice? Hey, you looking for work? Maybe a seeing-eye wolf would work.

I know that seeing-eye kangaroos were a flop. And a flip.

Seeing-eye strippers of course, would be the ideal, but I couldn't afford all that glitter, Fire & Ice perfume and G-strings (my thongs won't fit most strippers).

Hmm, scooby snacks would be good I think and I am not sure if I would be a good seeing eye wolf or not.. I might lead you into things just for a laugh or two?

How about trying a seeing eye opossum, or a seeing eye gopher? they might be good things to try... or maybe a seeing eye chia pet? or pet rock.

Naw, the seeing-eye pet rock didn't work. Sorta just laid there...kinda like my first girlfriend, who was a dog but hardly a guide dog. As far as leading me into obstacles just for fun....been there, done that. There are some cruel-asspeople in this world. Sigh. Okay dude-canine, here's a Scooby Snack for you.
Hmmmm.... seeing-eye Gopher cheerleaders? Naw. They put AstroTurf on the U. of M. field just to keep the cheerleaders from grazing...

Nah I probably wouldn't lead you into things just for fun, that would be too cruel... but a friend of mine did once lead another friend into a glass window once, when the other friend had a bit munch to drink... though that was like 15 years ago or so..

thanks for the scooby snack.

*puts up caution tape so seeing eye wolf doesn't cause Ciego to stick his head in his own A.N.U.S. ............. or worse yet poke it with his white stick and it leak some G.A.S. (Giant Analog Smog)*

Howdy Hidey Hole friends, sorry I was too busy mixing today to stop in and visit.......... *see the clothesline strung outside the Hide Hole laundry mat with KBV thongs hanging to dry* ....... "Wow place is really coming together, Jenn working on the Tackle Shop to stock he hardware in, won't be much longer" *Figures he may contract out the building of the Tackle Shop to Ciego since he seems to be so good using his hammer to nail things* "Imma hang the neon sign up on this tree for all to see"

For ordering PM me (not Paula) or cast a line to orders@kickbassvapor.com

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Time for another Jelly Man Says! Only on KBV Radio!
.
Jelly Man says... Watch out for Karma!
.
Karma... you know, the great scales of the universe... the equalizer of all rights and wrongs - OK, maybe not, but it truly does "all come around", I have seen it all throughout my life. Here is an example:
.
A friend of mine recently lost his wife to cancer and his job in the same week. I have known him and his wife all my life... They where the best man and maid of honor in my wedding... even though not blood relations, have done each other’s holiday dinners, anniversaries, birthdays everything for longer than I care to remember. This was, and still is a devastating event in all our lives, but more so for him than I can even imagine. We did not even know that she was that sick... feeling a little run down and then got a little worse - had been to doctors and then eventually the hospital where we found she had renal cancer and a lymphoma both. She died in days.
.
I will not spend too much time on this since one, it is too fresh and two, it is not the point, just background, but let me just say, it was a time of suckage. None of us are ever going to be the same again. Anyway, no job, emotionally devastated, losing his house also (it was part of his job living on site) and after 38 years of being a married family man, he was alone. Time of Suckage.
.
Well, in the mist of all this, we got him a new place and got him moved and all the hard things that must be done taken care of so he could start to live again. Anyone that has been through this knows what I am referring to. Cleaning out her closet, getting the things to keep and things to pass on to others sorted out. The little daggers that make the recovery process normally take forever in a widow or widower; always finding something special tucked away in a closet or drawer. It was a whirlwind of life! Everything at once... we got through it somehow - HE got through it. The holidays were the worst, but again we all survived and it gets a little easier with time or so they say.
.
My friend is a great man... Viet Nam vet... old river rat boat captain... hillbilly from the Smokies... Just a hoot. Looks like a salt & pepper Yosemite Sam, but there is not a finer human being in the world. After all this, he just kept on trucking everyday - taking care of grandbaby and daughter, doing what he always did and believing that it would "all come around". He would share groceries with friends even though broke, help a new neighbor in the yard even though he has a bad back, whatever needed to be done. Then one day he called me and said that he got a call on a job and was going in for an interview the next day. Turns out that the person interviewing him was a former deckhand of his from way back and was very excited to have him - got the job in a very bad economy BECUASE he had taken the time to help a new kid out 30 years ago. The house he moved into, was an older woman's whose husband had died years before and my friend would go buy and do yard work and chores for her, just because. She heard what was going on and said... move in to this house I have for rent and we will work it out - he is buying the house now... it was not for sale EXECEPT to him because of the kind of man he is and the things he had done for others with no thought for himself.
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I was one of those people he stuck his neck out for years ago when I was a young punk that most would not have bothered with, he saw something else. I will not even go into the stuff I did that he shook his head at and help me clean up my mess. He stood by me with advice and help anytime I needed it and has been one of my truest, dearest friends. I by far was not the only one he had touched over the years and when things were the toughest, he was surrounded by people, like me and my wife, who loved and supported him because of the thousand little things that he had done for others over the years.
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THAT is the kind of karma I am referring too... the kind you make for yourself, not a cosmic power. The way we treat others sets the stage for how others treat us. Not Always and by everyone, but in general... There are always selfish people that will just take and give nothing back - people that feel they are owed something, but If you think of others that are in need in your life and go out of your way to help, they will think of you when it counts and you will never be alone when you are hit buy a Time of Suckage.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*** Ciego uncoveres his project and resumes sawing, hammering and generally making a ruckus. ***

Aw, crap. By the time I get this finished, it'll be swimming-suit time around the fishin' hidey honey holy hiney hole. But this sauna will be *awesome* when it's finished. Heat-proof flat-panel TV, stereo system, luxurious bench seats, water cooler and of course, the 48,000 BTU sauna unit with water dripper....which will soon be a KBV juice dripper after some minor modifications. Imagine being able to vape and sauna at the same time.

*** Attaches the nail gun to the compressor hose and fires 'er up.***

Twing!
Bang!
Fooooop!
Tack! Tack! Tack! Tack!
Zoop!
Fwing!
Pow!
Squeeeeeframp!
Sqwak!
***
Aw, crap. Medic!

*well............Bonniegirl makes a note to self*


Self, no be nastyin tah folks cause dat dare jelly man sayed dat thangs wheel come raht back at cha

*Bonniegirl commences to deliver some fresh cartos to a dear friend and send private messages to those she loves the mostest and thinks to herself that she will say howdy do to everybunny..........even the tree rats she hates that did a poop on her face and every critter what God made*

*Helps Ciego on sauna..... figures with the KBV juice feed system N.I.P.P.L.E.S. (Nicotine Inlets People Puckering Lips Ensuring Steam) will be present *

Thanks for sharing Jelly Man, I had no idea either. Like NCV to me it's bittersweet. I believe in karma personally. I'm the type of person if someone hands me too much change at the store I correct them and return it. I believe everyone deep down has that sense of when they are doing something right (which produces a good feeling) as well as something wrong (which produces the opposite feeling). IMO that in and of itself part of karma.

Now that being said is doing the right thing expecting to be rewarded actually the right thing to do? IDK. I live by the words a man I admire years ago once said to me. "Nothing good ever comes from doing something bad, and nothing bad ever comes from doing something good".

That's my .2 which is $48.86 less than bonnie's and you have my condolences Jelly Man.

*walks over and grabs the ................ new parts for the sauna*

*watches in horror the visual of ciego and his big white stick pushing Bob out of the way to get to the new N.I.P.P.L.E. system and the visual is hurting my eyes*

Ahem............now that is my $48.95 worth on that situation

*** Ciego grabs a N.I.P.P.L.E. ***

What the..... (not the joose)?

*** Hey, has anybody seen my nailer? Not Nhaler, dang it...nailer...the thing what goes on the end of the air compressor hose and shoots nails everywhere...I mean, into the cedar planks... Oh wait, here it is.... HEY!!!

Dang it. Somebody has used my nailer parts to build a better N.I.P.P.L.E.

*** Walks away in disgust. Trips over compressor hose and goes face-first into the .....



willows ***

Aw, crap. . Well at least it wasn't that untrimmed rose bush....

Brilliant, Bob... I think I'm going to set up a poll here somewhere on ECF to inquire how long people would willingly wait/be patient for delivery of products ordered from ECF suppliers. I would bet my favorite thong that most of us wouldn't mind waiting a week to ten days to receive our juice, especially if the juice was worth waiting for.

Look guys, the *first* rule of running a small business (according to the Small Business Administration handbook) is to pay yourselves first. Pay yourselves first. This also means taking time off. I know it sounds counter-intuitive to put your own welfare before your customers' convenience, but believe me, doing so is essential. I presume you're in this for the long haul; I would hope that KBV, with its superior quality and friendly customer service isn't just a sprinter that will fall off the track after a short run. Pace, pace, pace

(I have a pedometer I'm not using if you want it).

Oh, and here's the latest Sauna Update: Thanks to Bob, the sauna includes N.I.P.P.L.E.S., but I'm also planning to put my rebuilt A.N.U.S. and its mating P.E.N.I.S. into the construction. Now, all I need to do is to find a place to hang my N.U.T.S. (Nicotine Use Termination System) for those who want to taper off the nic.

Oh, and I have to figure out a way to possum-proof the place...

Bob, Missy, KBV friends,
Bob and Missy, first, I applaud your courage to draw boundaries for yourselves. Caring for yourself is so overlooked and undervalued IMO. In order to provide excellence, you both need to be able to care for yourselves first in order to care for others. You both have set the bar way to high for yourselves......you expect 100% positive experiences from every customer, a 24 hour turnaround time and excellent quality products. That IMO is almost unachievable, but you both have seemed to do it with grace, humor and good will. I am proud to call you my friends.
To all of the fisherfolk at KBV, my friends, my laughter, my escape, my joy. ....Thank you from the bottom of my Ms Walker filled heart for your undying support and laughter during these growing pains. I know it means the world to KBV. This is an extraordinary group of people caring for one another, laughing at and with each other and truly is a positive internet experience. we all have drama, illness, suffering, troubles and tribulations in our real lives in one way or another and yet each lends advice, a laugh, a video or a heartfelt story or commentary to lift everyones' spirit. I find this thread a breath of fresh air in a flame warred battle zone of internet furry.
I want to thank each of you....(Yes, you) for being here and supporting this new business venture through the growing pains. I know I have waited for three years for someone to mix e-liquid I knew would be safe as can be and as tasty as possible for a price that is fair and I have found it here and I plan to stay, wait and be patient for "the good stuff."
Hugs to all
Bonnie

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming and shenanigans at the hidey hole of the best Joose money can buy............................Kick Bass!

Bullet
Willie? Now that is one fine music makin man,,,,

He wrote a song just for my daughter.....*he doesn't know although I have written to tell him and he rolled some stuff up in it I suppose cause I never heard back* The song is Angel flying too close to the ground. I am techno ......ed and can not link it here but it is lovely and is all about her life........she is an angel that flies too close to the ground.............wish you all could hear it as it is a nice way to end this sentimental day.............*pulls moist tissue from bra*

Yeah.........I feel the bad moon a risin.............another good un

I pray you all have days of "no suckage".............man that maisri is a lucky woman ain't she?

*** Ciego admires the framing and sheathing on the new Sauna-Vaporizer ***

Wow! This puppy will accomodate at least a dozen naked, sweaty people!

*** Momentarily raises his eyes to Heaven and offers thanks that he can't see some of the naked bodies that may inhabit the Sauna-Vaporizer. Also gives thanks he can't see himself in a mirror.***

Now, it's time to start cutting and affixing the cedar. Yahoo!

*** Searches for nail gun. ***

Aw, crap! I wish people wouldn't swipe my tools in order to improvise everything from PVs to fishing tackle. I mean, come on!

*** Takes out a hammer and begins to drive nails by hand. ***

Hey, despite the cold, that wild rose disaster smells pretty good. Oh wait, I think someone is vaporizing a juice from SteamyPukeVapors.Com...I think it's Essence of Cheap Old-Lady Perfume, or somethin.'

*** Properly disposes of empty Caramel Cappuccino bottle and sheds a small tear.***

Oh well, at least I have plenty of OMG! And when my order is delivered, I'll have some Crossfire Trail, Nutty Uncle Ky and some Bogart...maybe even a Ry 4 sample... Hooray! Despite my urging to BoB and IssyM. to take it easy, they turned around my order in less than 48 hours. Wow!

*** Finds spare nail gun attachment and attaches it to the compressor hose. ***

*Fwing !*

*Thwack!*

*Whoosh*

*ka-Bang!!!*



Aw, crap...

@Bullet......and I thought front row at his concert and him singing to me was special........the skin is turning green with the envy of being in the bus and just talking to him..............grew up listening to him and learned to love him and his politics too. A nice man, I am told, and a fabulous lyrical song writer............ahhh..........the lucky Bullet.........so envious.............sinfully so and that is horrid..........simply horrid

@Ciego...........watch out for the thong and the nail gun..............could be a catastrophe

@Aubergine and Skeeter.........thanks for "My song" I cried not once but twice.......I feel a Dontcha Just hate comin on.........songs you love to listen to that make you cry. My daughter lives FLYING TOO CLOSE to the ground. I pray she continues on this path she is on now.................just for today, I am a grateful less sick and suffering Momma.

@Hy............Love Josh Groban and would post you tube of him singing but alas...........the techno ...... can not.....hint, hint

Ahem.............my take on the dry mouth situation
-Mini is right, has nothing to do with vaping, it is about the lack of tar and other chemicals and YES.....Janet is right, it does go away. Biotene is a remedy that woks in short term but does not last long. Salt water mouth rinsing will increase the salivary glands production and chapstick (kept in the bosom for a reason) also helps..........choose Burts Bees brand as it has a nice moisturizing agent.
-PG....everyone believes it dries the mouth, nothing is more incorrect. PG is a humectant which mean it is a wetting agent. Many posts on this forum are from armchair Doctors and Nurses that have 20 posts and know everything. Ask a health professional or post in the "ask the veterans forum"..........I saw a post in new members forum where someone suggested all VG e-liquid to help with dry mouth....nothing could be more wrong. The 60/40 offered at KBV is the safest, best ratio IMO. PG is needed in e-liquid as it also provides an antibacterial effect as well. I am unsure (HEY, where is UNSURE as I am UNSURE where UNSURE is) if 100% VG e-liquid would do what I scientifically and logically think it would do.......Provide a nice environment for bacterial growth.............UGH...........we do feed bacteria glycerin and sugars to make them grow to identify them in cultures in health care.....seems a bit scary to me.....but JMHO and I am sure some one with more letters after their name than I (6) would know better
-During the first few months of vaping an increase in chest mucous, dry mouth and loose secretions especially in the morning is normal and IMHO a good thing. The PG is loosening and moisturizing the cilia in the lining of the lungs that have been "glued together" by the tars and other gunk we inhaled as smokers and allowing our own bodies cough, gag, spit reflexes to excrete it. I have had NO twice yearly sinus/chest infections that I have had for 30 years since vaping and I attribute it to not smoking and to PG. Increased chemicals from flavorings can also cause dry mouth and coughing if one were to be sensitive. ie: I love ceylon cinnamon,,,,the one in the danishes and in the snickerdoodle, not the one in candy cane pole....but, I can not vape a lot of it, I cough my head off. Keep track of when you are coughing and have extra dry mouth and note the flavor you were vaping and see if there is a commonality. Missy makes my Maple frosted rolls without the added cinnamon ceylon and I vape it easily......her regular recipe tastes lovelier, I just can not take the coughing (extra depends) and the dry mouth.

OK that was my $48.95 cents worth
Happy Vaping to all and to all a good vape!

*tosses log on fire pulls up a stump and avoids Ciego's N.U.T.S. (Nicotine Use Termination System)* "I've managed to wean down to 6MG and a lot of times vape zero nic, I really don't see the need Ciego for N.U.T.S. (Nicotine Use Termination System)"..................
" I prefer G.I.R.L.S (Gradually Intentionally Reducing Little Steps) and has worked well for me" In fact I find G.I.R.L.S. (Gradually Intentionally Reducing Little Steps) enjoyable and at times challenging but rewarding"

KBV is officially not taking orders temporarily. We got a lot of packages out today. Looking at the orders we will get more out tomorrow and feel we should complete the current orders by Friday. We hope to reopen next week with the site. Worst case is we reopen a few days mid week using the current ordering system until things are complete. That will be a last resort and only if I have 100% assurance that it will be ready within days. The problem I have now is the next 2 days are filled with orders and I am getting PMs for more.

I apologize to all for this inconvenience and if I start making exceptions then I end up taking up any possible time that allows me to complete the inventory, ordering supplies, as well as what needs to be done to get the site complete. I am not sending shipping info as it should be sent to you in an email when I input it into your invoice. I will be available at times for questions and check and update the thread as well as visit with my customers.

Thank you all for your patience, understanding and support in making KBV what it is. I also am quite certain with the caring group of people here that no one would let another do without their all day vape if they have some to spare. Thank you all for not just being great customers but great friends as well, I am very blessed. May God bless you all, boB

morning hidey holers... Just when you think the resident wolfie can't get any sadder, he is... not vape related, but just found out a little bit ago...the US Fish and Wildlife department declared the eastern subspecies of cougar to be extinct... Researchers think it has been extinct in the wild since the 1930s, but that doesn't make the news any better

Hi... My Name is Jelly Man and I am a KBVaholic. Its been 2 seconds since my last...puff, puff, puff... Vape. I go through about an ounce a week - I am SO ASHAMED (not really, but you got to play it up for the head shrinker types)... Boos & Hoos - Pass the tissues from your brazier Miss Bonnie.

Luckily got a order in of Nutty Uncle KY and Wife's Fiddle Paddle or would be in real trouble...

If the tissues from Bonnies brazier is anything like the hankies from my mom's purse, you're in trouble ChrisKY! LOL.
1) The tissue or hankie will smell like you're mom's favorite perfume...yeah they used the real stuff and only needed a dab or two; not cologne like today where you need half a bottle to realize the smell. Everything from inside mom's purse always smelled or had the flavor of her favorite perfume...candy, gum, hankie, tissue, a dollar bill...
2) The tissue or hankie will and I mention 'will', contain the all powerful, get everything done, removes everything in a minute...mom saliva. A little dab of mom's saliva on her tissue or handkie and it would get everything off your face in no time flat...a miracle to say the least. Mom's saliva hankies should have been marketed like handy wipes....anyone know whats in handly wipes....hummmm maybe it's mom!

Don't go given me that...yuck...face! Heck if a company is making ice cream from mothers milk then a little of mom's salivia shouldn't freak you out LOL. Ummmm, mothers milk ice cream...which flavor do I want, left or right?

Another KBVaholic here. I can't even decide on my favorite flavor. It keeps changing. I can't wait to try White Rabbit since coconut is my all-time favorite flavor of anything.

It's just so, so good. I don't know how you can get a big mouthful of creaminess in a vape but Mommas Angel Wings nails it.
I HAS to be the dose of love they put in every bottle of juice.

*Bonniegirl is sitting on the stoop of her cabin..........not in the rocker or on the steps, she is dead on the stoop as though the cat had tried to drag her in and was unsuccessful. It had been a horrid..............simply horrid night. She had gone to town to the "Bootleg Pub" and had a few fingers of the Ms Walker (OK, it was from her flask and not the bar but no one noticed< Ya'll did it when ya was a youngin, them bar prices are high)........she was a mindin her own bees wax an all and watching television and once against cursing the woman that bought a "Bowel" on the Wheel of Fortune and had made a big broohaha with all around about the whys and the hows of one wanting a new bowel and weren't they lucky just to have one and wasn't one enough. Afterwards, a group a young bucks (or so she called them) asked her if she shot. She said she was a "perty good aim whens I needs tah be." and thus commenced the game of billiards, better known in these parts as pool. Well, the night started out fairly well except for the man sayin to her to rack em up and her lyin her bosoms on the table and all the laughter..........and the man hollerin to bank shoot it and she said "I ain't neber robbed er stolt anysing in mah lahf an I ain't tah startin now" and all found it so amusing and she was puzzled, took her shot and the cue ball fell in the corner pocket. This seemed to be the bain of the evening. A man hollered "scratch" and she commenced scratching her legs, he said, no, you scratched and she said, "I did it cause ye tolt me tah." The men tried ad nauseum to explain but there was no use as she was getting a bit feisty from the Ms Walker and well..........she still had the soreness of the festered feets an all.Let's just say she was in no mood for learning anything from anyone. To make a very very long story at least just very long..........a man said he had no place to lay his head and Bonniegirl told him he could sleep in her old hollowed stump home and he gladly followed her snaking path homeward bound. She zigged and she zagged and a few tree limbs jumped out in front of her and there was that tree stump which caught the skirt of her housedress and the tumbling and the man attempting to help her up and her hollering and screeching throughout the honey hole for mercy on her "Dear Lord, jest oncte...have dah mercies on a woman what ain't dun no wrongness en her enteer lahf." Next thing she knew, she awakened with this man next to her in her bed and she felt like runnin but this was her home. The light of day casted a new view upon him, blackened rotted teeth, skin and bones and a fat belly looking like he was ready to birth an all and she was in utter disgust, After loading the shotgun, threatening him with his dear life and sending him pantless down the fishigan lane in just his drawers she threw the tattered remains of cloth that were called at one time his clothes out in the garbage heap and sat right where she was now. As usual she talks to her self aloud as to give some validation that YES, she is alive and well ........ she matters*

Dem dare mens what thank dey be takin whuts dey wants an all an dey ain't gotten no reasonin tah be proud uh deyselves cause wid dem teeny weenys dey gots cain't do nuffin fer a raht womans an he take vantage uh me win I bein on dah Ms walker an all an dat dare be some rahy sinful naturin. dat one got dem beady eyes an all an he be up tah no good an all an I be a showin him if'n he comes roun cheer agin. Imma gonna go an see dat dare Preacherman Hy an tole him tah tell God dat dare one is a sinfullness as dare is an all............an If'n God was a busy watchin ober all dem folks wid dah extry bowels an all an dah chilren what is sick an all an he might jest hab missed dat one an he be a needin tah knowed it.

*Bonniegirl sets off toward Preacherman Hys cabin....her face is fixed upon the forward motion, though it is such a wobbly forwardness, and sees a sign hangin about fishin season bein closed to restockin dah fishin hole an all...........and the booing commences*

Oh Boo and hoo and woe is me dey when an dun what was dah mostest worser thang what culda happenin tah me wid dah tootsie and dat dare mommas wangs an all and dese here bosoms ain't full anymore an dat man dun took all uh mah goodest jooses an now dey is closin dah season fer a spell an ..............Boo and Hoo and another Boo fer a goot measurin.......Oh Lord ain't ya tart uh hearin Bonniegirl a hollerin fer ya, den fix all dis cheer lahf up an all..........oh Boo and Hoo and woe is me...........now what be left? tah fall in dem wild roses dat is all thorny and is ungodly and be a hurtin dah fahn folks an all?...........Booooooooooo Hooooooooooooooo SOOOOOOOOOOOOB, sniffle, sob and a boo*

Pass the popcorn, wonder who will come to help her?

*** Walking onto my porch, singing... "I'm in the mood for love... Simply because I got one..." I see a beast of a man, long dirty hair, pot bellied, bad teeth and NO CLOTHS running down the trail to the screams of the double-barreled shotgun welding BonnieGirl - bobbing & weavin, gun in the air, Shouting and booing & hooing all the time. The person runs past and I see BonnieGirl raise her weapon. The shotgun weaves a figure eight in the air... the shot is likely to go anywhere. I crouch down low and run out to intercept Mrs Bonnie; grabbing the Shotgun and disarming her for all the Fisherfolks protection.***

Bonnie! what the sam hell you doing with that gun trying to shot that poor soul?

***Through the booing & hooing, I get the story of the bar, pool game, and Mrs Bonnie's 3 am friend. Giving ti my best gentlemanly try and not laughing i do my best to comfort our dear BonnieGirl and help her on her way to see the Preacherman HyOnLyph, who may be able to give her some advice or at least calm her down a might. I pull out my BonnieGirl Emergency Pack (BEeP for short) Which consists of a fresh 801 Shorty, a 10ml bottle of Tootsy Rolly, and a flask of Ms Walker and pass the items over. Bonnie sucks the flask dry in on swig and dumps the whole bottle of joose into the shorty which is attached to her trusty Sir Charles Chuck. Poofing away while the ears still flow we come to the preachers cabin with the man himself rocking on the porch. HyOnLyph jumps up and runs to Bonnie's side and helps her to a rocker. In between more boos and hoos he gets the story and does his best to provide comfort.

As the story unfolds for the second time, Bonnie reveals that her 3 am friend made off with ber bosom stash of KBV joose. OH NO! With the fishing season closed, what is the poor woman going to do... I KNOW! I will get all the fishigan Fisherfolk to chip in and take up a joose collection to get her through until the restocking of the hidey honey hole happens... We'll call it the "Feel...uummm Fill Bonnies Bosom Fund! That will get them giving!

Everyone... Everyone... Our Poor BonnieGirl has been robbed.. Her KBV jooses have been stolen by a...umm... unsavory sort. I know all you fine fisherfolk will come together to help her through this horrible time... Come on everyone... Come Feel..uurr...Fill Bonnie's Bosom! Come on gang... there is room for all to Feel Bonnie's Bosom umm I mean Fill Bonnie's Bosom... Give til it hurts!

welcome to the honey hole of vaping Red Alert!
Pull yourself up a stump and set a spell by the fire. It is a nice bunch and the fire is warm.........all are welcome, no purchase necessary. What flavors did you get?

Pass the marshmallows to red please? We need to make Red welcome with a nice toasty marshmallow.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella 69, Chapter 69 deliverance

*walks down the trail to the fire the aroma of Auntie M's makes it's way through the morning vapor through which the sun is peeking through* "well what is this cue stick doing laying here?" *sees odd looking kid on bridge playing a banjo missing some teeth* " hey there young fella, how are you today?" ........... *kid looks sad and stops playing banjo to talk* "m..m..m..m.my d..d.ddadd juuuusssttt ruru ran off nekid""

"Son does your dad happen to be blind, because if so he's not really naked he just wears a thong?" ....... "nananano sir" *fairly creeped out figures there's something in the genes (not the jeans lying on the trail) amongst a few here and figured this needs nipping in the bud*

"Jelly man! Good morning" "I saw the post about filling the cleavage left by the thief last night, rest assured this will be taken care of, I have a full bottle of tootsie on me and I know even though it's only one bottle one in the hand......err bosom is certainly better than two in the wild rose bush"

*takes the pool cue to the bushes and starts whacking them to keep them under control* "Well SOG (not a joose) Look at the empty bottles, that's where people been tossing them knowing no one wants to go near that ungodly thing!" *notices that keys are in Bullets ATV and has a neighbor next to him with a brush hog figures enough is enough* "Jelly man, what say you give me a hand hooking up the brush hog on Bullet's ATV and let's tame this once and for all" *Jelly man assists and we proceed to clear the path, on the final row out pops a naked toothless beerbelly man* "ah hah.... we gotcha! you've been sleeping in the roses! That explains your rugged nature and ripped clothes."

*Shackles the beast that has been sleeping in the rose patch with Jelly Man's help and figures we will hold trial tonight and let the Hidey Hole folks determine his fate* "Jelly Man ya think having to sleep within the rose patch has been punishment enough?" ............ *Jelly man's face turns as red as some vendors juice that use cheap nicotine* "boB after taking advantage of bonniegirl this ole boy better hope Hy has a direct connection to the man upstairs because he will be let go over my dead body! He will stand trial at the campfire tonight"............

***Loud banging and hammer comes from behind the Jelly Man's cabin - the sounds of sawing, mixing and other construction like endeavors. Peeking around the corner, you see a new building has arisen - a orange and black sign over the wide barn style doors reads: Jelly Man's Rides - Motorcycles, Riding Apparel and Custom PVs. Jelly Man is hammering away on the final touches to the newest business at the Honey Hidey Fishing Hole on Lake Fishagan, just down the trail form the Coffee & Doughnut Shop and Mini's Stitches - Custom made Thongs and More. Now finished hanging his shingle, Jelly Man steps back... pulls out his PV and drip, drip, drips some Nutty Uncle KY on a trusty 901 atty - puff, puff, puff.***

Now we are ready for business!

Hello all y'all at da hidey hole. bonniegirl... wishin' ida been here t'comfort y'all when yoooze face down in the throne..... uh .... thorns.... I knoze how ya gets n all n I'm sure hopin' yer doin' okeydokey. I been sufferin' from a bout of "non-creativity" n all n mah haid haz had t'focus on other stuffs fer a few daze. Askin th' good Lawd t' strengthin' ya n bless ya n all n' t' keep ol' boB n yssiM on track with the work they'z been doin'. Y'all are never far from mah heart.... just sayin'.........

Morning has broken............ahem..............or is it me.........*That is broken?*..........not the money kinda broke.........or the heart kinda broke................or the bones kinda broke.....................I am broken that I can not stop vaping KBV joose.........I am a KBV a holic.............ahem

Hi, My name is Bonnie, my last vape of KBV....*OMG(not the joose) this Mommas Angle Wings is awesomeness*.........was 2 seconds ago.........I am powerless over my ...........*Puff, puff,poof,poof*...........use of this lovely creamy rice puddin...........it has begun to affect my life..........when talking on the phone *about vaping*....I have to pause when I get a good vape on..........*Ya'll know the kinda vape, the good one, the atty is just right, the battery is fresh and somehow everything is in perfect alignment*..........I hope I can get this problem under control as I am losing sleep holding onto my Senior Roberto tekkibahn and vaping when I awaken throughout the night and I am so tired all the time and well..........

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.........that I prolly will continue to vape KBV joose
The courage to change the things I can ...........like flushing all the stinkbombvapor jooses down the porcelain God
and the wisdom to know the difference...............Hell, any monkey could tell that.........he even made a video!

Happy Monday vaping and welcome all to the hidey hole, the HONEY hole of the best joose catches around!

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming and shenanigans........this has been a public service announcement from addicts of KBV, a support group of people with a problem that they have no intention of fixing.......*puff,puff,poof,poof, could someone fan this vapor away so I can see the 72" TV?*

*Bonniegirl is setting on the rocker at preacherman Hys cabin tellin him the story of her "assault" and she is (as usual) quite emotional and is booing and hooing and removing tissues from her bosom to wipe the tears and nasal secretions away between sobs and rants. She then replaces the moist and tattered tissues back in the bosom. On occasion a tissue is removed with a bottle of her precious Mommas Angel Wings and flies away to areas unknown to lay her tears upon the earth. Much like the rain that makes the flowers grow......the tears bring new moistness to an already fertile ground and seem to memorialize the sadness in a ritualistic way. Her hair is, as usual, a mess and her eyes are tired, bagged with brown/grey coloring that encircles her eyes much like a raccoon. The eyes are blood shot from the booing and hooing and possibly from overuse of the libations. Her housedress is torn from the fall into the thorny untamed rose bush and ..... willows are present in numbesr stuck to her slippers given to her by her friend Bullet. The events of the previous evening......the pool game, the wayward homeless man, her kindness in offering the hidey hole Kate Hepburn Oak stump, the awakening to the stinky stranger in her bed and then the thorns were all too much for her to process and she is still like a fresh cut wound.........painful and easy to re-injure. Preacherman Hy is , as usual, his comforting wise self and listens as she talks to no one in particular. She only needs an ear *or 20* to hear her out.*

Preacherman Hy........dat was dah worstest thang what I beed thru an all.............I was a bein a goot chreestian womans an offerin a bed fer a man what ain't got no bed an all and den dis cheer thang uh him a crawlin in dat bed wid me. I ain't no workin womans, or loosey an goosey an all........I was a playin dat dare poolin game an all an dey was all ah habin sum fun an all an scratchin fer no reasonin an tole me dat I was a needin tah rack em up an all.............I played long wid it an all fer dah funnin bet dat dare bad one dun taked me wrongly............mah bosoms be mahn an all an he be a techin an a feelin an a creepin *dat dare is fer ya Jersey shorin folks* an he shurely not no chreeshtain mans............no way an no how...........an Preacherman Hy..............why dey be on dat dare wheel gamin show an be a tryin tah buy deyselves a bowel. Ain't dah goot Lord dun gib dem enough uh what dey be a needin fer dah bizness in dah head? I gots me one bowel an it be fahn an dey dun takes all dat goot monies an be a buyin dem anudder bowel? Why dey do dat? Does ya know? An lissen cheer, tells God wins ya talks tah him bout dat dare man what dun take vantage uh mah gooness an tell him tah let him be a burnin in dat hell place an all. I wood a tellin him meself bet God be tard ah hearin Bonniegirl a booin an a hooin all uh dah tahm...........I bees jess lahk dat dare one what cried wolf an all an I ain't talkin bout our wolfie in dat reclinin chaired one...........no, dat one dat be in dat dare storybookin an all...........wood ya tole God bout dat dare bad man? Tah burn him?..........

*Bonniegirl removes yet another tattered moist tissue from the bosom and blows her nose like a bull horn and commences to reapply the tissue to the bosom but it is of no use for reapplying as it is now a moistened ball of degenerated paper that has become a gooey mess............she looks to assure that Hy is looking the other way and flicks it out into the wooded area and pulls the joose out of the bosom and begins vaping her PV and relaxation comes upon her face. The lines are no longer so visible, the worry is losing the take over of the brow furrows and the face is once again a bit rosey.............(OK, it might be the few swigs from the flask that rosied the face but she looks better).......she looks at Preacherman Hy with a quizzical look asking for an answer without asking.

Pass the popcorn please?

*Preacherman Hy is sitting on his porch on a pulled up ole cutoff of a stump. Bonniegirl is occupyin' his one n only rockychair. She's settin' about commizeratin' n booin' n hooin'. He's doing his best to console her but for a moment is distracted. Bonniegirl continues to wax poetic about her tear filled tissue floating to the ground like a soft flake of snow to give flowers a drink .... n all he can think about at that moment is .... forgive him Lord.... the fact that she just littered on the sweetness of the hidey hole. He snaps his mind back to attendin' t' po miss Bonnie n her continued commizeratin' n' pattin' her po ol' wrinkly scarred n calloused hand, weathered by the constant abuse and extreme tight grip she places on the brown paper bag wrapped around the neck of her precious ms walker in the black dress..... n..... (what's this??? he blinks his eyes n turns his head for a moment and she tosses another one out to further scar the beatuimusness of this here sacred place???)**

Oh Bonniegirl... I knowz ya wants me to be talkin' t'da man upstairs for ya... n I'm glad to be doin' it... but he aint tired o hearin' from ya yersef... n he's always listenin' no matter whatcha been upto. I dun plenty of sobbin' n booin' m'sef n appologizin' n repentin' n .... ya know.... I ain't never found him angry.... never once... he's always welcomin' ya with open arms t'hear yer voice. He just likes t' have ya around cuz ya belong t' him. Yer hiz.

n them bad nasty fellers what treated you so poorly??? well they'z a sufferin' in their own way... raht now... n ifn' they jus knew how much they'z being luv'd by him... well they'z be raht sorry for what they done. While yer talkin' to the good Lord, it might be helpin' ya to be movin' t'ward healin' yer own heart if'n ya asked him t' somehow show them the error of their ways n f'give 'em. I know, I know... it's a hard thing... but yer a strong woman now Bonniegirl... n you jus' ponder it awhile, God luv ya... n see if it don't ring truer than that ol big benjamin tower ... just sayin'.

*Bonniegirl continues to boo n hoo n sob ... on and on... n ol' preacherman Hy jus keeps pattin' her ol' grizzly hand n sayin' "there, there po Bonniegirl"... n somewhere, just a little, in the back of his mind he's a hopin' she doesn't throw out another tissue t' litter the beautimusness of the hidey hole.**



pull up a stump n have a vape of your favorite KBV joose ... we're gonna be here awhile.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

KBV Novella Chapter 69 Paragraph 69 Position.........







ODD
*Glides through the ..................... willows with the assistance of KY.* "that's it guys I watched the video and am rather upset! I found it very true and entertaining so I contacted Big Ice Dog and he said "thumbs up" in the usual Bic Ice Dog manner" ................ *uses his recently bought Folding Helping Hand Long-Reach Pick-Up Gripper - 26" Light Weight Aluminum Body from amazon, commences to pick up tissues so as to keep Hidey Hole pristine and preacherman happy.

Bahn I'z gots tat guy shackled and in the jail cell, I could use the blow dart gun filled with vomitvapor.com juice to knock him out and let bubbu have his way with him......... *winks at Hy knowing that's not the answer but figures it my temporarily relieve Bahn of the pain* "ya know Bahn give him a taste of his own medicine and he may be on that there game show purchasing a new bowel by the time it's over" "doesn't that there one big thick book say sometin bout an eye for an eye?"

*figured he may be causing more harm than good leaves Bahn in the care of Hy and goes to talk to skeeter*

Skeeter personally I'm not getting the flavor out of the T-tank and am not sold on them yet. I bet they come out with a revision on them within a month. They just don't seem to feed good enough IMO and I get not a burnt taste but I can certainly tell it's kinda dry and the joose just doesn't taste the same to me.

In answer to your question, no you shouldn't have to shake the tank, in fact I think Bahn was tanked when she gave you that advice. Once the joose has blended an occasional shake doesn't hurt and but it doesn't separate in the tank IMO. *figures Bahn is too tanked to hear about tanks and will leave it at that. *

*Preacher Hy is watchin' the head hancho, zbasspro, shackle da dude what messed with Bonnie... he's bein' pretty rough n slappin' the guy around a little. Thinks to hisself... welp.. there ya go bud... ya reaps what ya sows... hopin' that he reaps a little more of what he dun sowed ...... knowin' in his heart that the forgiveness part of his discussion with Bonnie was for her good, not that no good rotten rascal of a snake. Prayin' he'll come t' repentance... seein' nothin' wrong with helpin' him repent a little sooner. (wink wink). I might have a walkin' club.. uh.... cane .... uh walkin' stick t' hep a little. Looks t' be draggin' the dude off into the thorny rose bush n ..... willows.... oops, dropped 'im into the hidey hole fire pit jus fer a second.... drags his a... self... off t' the hoosescowww. Hear's zbass hollerin', sumpin along the lines o "justice is commin' you snake... JUSTICE IS A COMMIN' " thinks t' his sef that reapin' n sowin' is often scattered a long the road t' eeee..ternity.*

Well looky there... he's even got a contrapshun built to pick up after ol Bonniegirls snivlin's... what'll they think of next? Now he k'n rest peaceful. G'nite all*

***Standing at the door to the new Jelly Man's Garage and Bike Wash watching boB pick up the ...um...wreckage from Bonnie's booing and hooing. Thinking about the incident in question and wondering what exactly Mrs Bonnie was doing at that pool hall and hanging out with the rough types, like she brought home.... Something is a little off here. Mrs Bonnie normally only wants her Ms Walker and a stump by the fire. Now she is out honky-tonking the night away? ***

Well... Hope she stays home here at the hidey hole where she is safe... Well unless Ciego build more of his P.V.s like the A.N.U.S or the P.E.N.I.S! Or that Lame Game Warden shows back up. Or you try to use the stinkvapor.com joose in the boat motor and get blown up... OK, maybe things ain't so safe around here - but its home and THE home of the best danged joose at the best prices around.

***Gives a wave to boB and HyOnLyph and heads back into the garage to get that panhead back together to be picked up in the morning... puff, puff, puffing away on a turbo full of Nutty Uncle KY in a nice, warm 901 - now thats heavenly!***

Idea for tomorrow, instead of "you might be a redneck if"

We can do "you may be odd if".

I'll start ............"you just may be odd if you buy something called joose from a guy that spells his name backwards........ boB"

I am glad everyone finds the Hidey Hole a fun place to be. The intention of KBV from the beginning was if we were to do this is was going to be a fun venture. From that standpoint alone KBV has been nothing short of a huge success.

You don't have to be an author nor even a customer to post. We enjoy the thread as do many others so if you just want to stop in to say hello and sit by the fire and enjoy a vape please do, thank you jeannest glad you like the joose

You might be odd if you build an imaginary first aid station at an imaginary lake to take care if imaginary injuries to.......no that just means I have a good imagination...Right????

Oh where to start???

You might be odd if:

After 3 months of posting about an imaginary lake, you already designed you retirement home there 3 times.

You begin every day with the thought of "What can I blow up today"?

You have used the phrase "Thong wearing" more than once and NOT in reference to Victoria Secrets".

You no longer can type boB correctly... Crap... boB... Bob.

You have actually asked for Ms Walker at the booze barn.

Mistakenly call Michigan, Fishigan in an actual conversation.

Have ordered a custom made PV with the nickname Jelly Man airbrushed on it.

Are not even sure of your best friend's REAL names.

Want royalties for an imaginary radio program in an imaginary place that is typed, not broadcast.

Have ever asked how much can be embroidered on a thong.

Now look at every household appliance and wonder how you and Ciego can Mod it.

Put ... Into ........Willow.

Spend more time in Fishigan(see previous comments) than you do at work.

Started modding because a friend lost out on a PV classy (just wait and see - The Jelly Man is coming).

Carry a briefcase full of KBV jooses and extra PVs that you never use - just in case.

Have figured out driving time to boB & yssiM's in case you run out.

Ok... This could go on all day! Not sure if it makes me odd, but sure makes me one of the KBV Fisherfolk!

If you cannot laugh at yourself, just laugh at your friends!

ahem...................my $48.95 cents worth cause Preacherman Hy said that is what my 2 cents is worth and well..........he IS the preacherman...............isn't he?

You know you are ODD when....................

You start to talk exactly like an imaginary character that you have created that lives in an imaginary place called the hidey hole, which is on Fishigan Lane in Fishigan U.S of A. and you really feel hung over the day after said character has had too much of the Ms. Walker and you really believe when getting ready to go out with your real life husband that you have to take your flowered house dress off and remove the imaginary curlers from your hair and tidy yourself up when you are already tidy and you believe that your bra could actually fit all of those things in the imaginary bosom and there is not enough room in the real Victorias secret bra you have on to fit anything other than what God has given you and you believe you know what it feels like to ride in a sidecar and have never been on a motorcycle in your life due to watching a close cousin crash head on into a tree and die in front of your eyes when you were 15 and you believe you know what it feels like to sleep in the hollow of a tree stump even though you will never and have never slept anyplace other than home or 4 stars or better accommodations and you also feel violated by an imaginary man that snuck into your imaginary bed and when you awoke you did not know who he was and how he got there!..............*OK...........maybe everything isn't SOOOOOOOOOOO imaginary......ahem.........I was at Woodstock FFS and things were different and well...........cough.........I was young..........ahem......and well, nobody is perfect...................ahem

*slinks back to imaginary place called the hidey hole to find solace in her imaginary paradise and her real friends cause the ones here in the real life are mean and sooooo judgmental and NOT ODD!*

Now Now dear Bonnie take your red pill .I already took mine and feel sssoooo much better now.......

Okay not everything is imaginary here. I have a pic of bonnie's pool partner, claims there was no need for the "pocket" version that night.

boB, why do you have a picture of my cousin Ralph from the mtns of NC posted on here???? LOL j/k

LOL Medic about the cousin. I consider myself fortunate having ridden ATVs since nearly the time they came about and both my boys were raised riding. My youngest now 11 I started with a Raptor 80CC 3 speed right before his 4th B-day

In hindsight that probably wasn't the smartest thing I've done. Funny true story. The only time either one of my boys has needed medical attention from an ATV is when it was parked and he was wearing shorts. He went to get on it and missed the foot peg with his foot and it caught his shin, cut him and required 12 stitches. That was with my oldest now gonna be 19 in a few weeks. He's ramped bikes 20+ feet and the only time been hurt was getting on a parked bike

Whether it's real or imaginary, just remember Bonnie...you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't roll your fingers around and flick your friends out the car window!

...Either way, I'll take the Hidey Hole over the real world any day.

i'm back safe and sound..got home yesterday afternoon since i decided to stay an extra day just haven't been around...but wolfie's back...kinda

Welcome home wolfie! The Bark-o-lounger is waiting for tired wolf after a long trip... Thank I got some Begg'in Strips around here and we been feeding your possum posse.

You might be odd if ...
You live in a cyberspace lean-to, by a cyber stream that feed a cyber-lake...... and sit in a cyber-rockychair on your cyber-porch watching the cyber-fire ... visiting with real friends......... and actually find comfort in it.

Kellie......YES!.............I have found that the standard ratio wicks on Boge cartos, fluxomizers, clearomizers, attys (801,901,510,306) drips well, wicks well, produces humungous vapor and tasty as all get out!
Welcome to the hidey hole, the best dang fishin for joose site in the entire Earth...............pull up a stump, set by the fire, read the Novella, listen...*OK, ya have to read the radio broadcast*........ to KBV radio shows............"The Jelly Man Says,"................"Dontcha Just Hate with Bonniegirl and a new special program................to be continued..........


oh, btw........................it has been said we are ODD!..................we are having a Mardi Gras Parade to celebrate our oddness, we embrace it.

Welcome Kellie!

@skull....................Amen brother...............right on!

Oh boy, a parade...i love beads. Who has the beads, we need lots of beads. Can we get beads with bass on them? I've got a lot of beads from the ......never mind..TMI

welcome back wolfie!

Bonniegirl could have used a Big Bad Wolf on the Novella!

You could have puffed and puffed and vaped that.....................nm..........

Hey Tuck...........so nice to see ya at the hidey hole.

We are all a bit "ODD" here..........have ya heard?

We embrace our oddity

((((Missy)))) thanks for the welcome back and I missed ya too, missed everyone!

Hi Bonnie... well i don't huff and ppuff much these days, old wolfies gotta retire sometime yanno? heh

*Bonniegirl is sitting on Preacherman Hys porch rocking and rolling and rocking and rolling in his rocking chair...............she is in deep thought of the events of the last few months and the errors of her ways............she remembered Mrs Mulford her old Sunday School teacher. She was as old as dirt and smelled of moth balls but always had a hug for every child and cried aloud when the junior choir sang............Bonniegirl had proudly worn her choir robe, despite the fact that the pleating meant to lie in stripes like pressed draperies and pleated skirts, had been stretched beyond their fiber strength and made for a stuffed sausage look around her chest and middle. YES, she was an obese child and bullied and snickered at and balked at and spit upon and whoever said that "sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you" was never an obese child in a school of skinny .....es and boys with voices changing and squeaking and straggling hairs falling on their chins while they smirked at her in her gym uniform................it was a horrid time, but in church, there was none of that. Mrs. Mulford would not have any of it and Bonniegirl supposed it was because she had to over come the fussing over the moth ball smell and so she must have empathy for others with like disabilities. Mothy ball smelling, fattyness and not having the right brand of gym shoes were sure ways to get pushed in the gym locker room. Wearing glasses, riding short buses and having a crutch or braces were sure ways to get knocked over in the hallways. Life as an obese, fatty, tons of blubber, F.A.B. (fat .... Bonnie), tons of fun, boom boom Bonnie, and various other mean names were her way of life, her reality and her reason to resort to singing solos in church, writing for the school literary magazine and running errands during gym class. Sure, that wasn't her idea, a wonderfully nice gym teacher knew that asking her to do 10 push ups would lead to her demise and sent her to run errands. Bonniegirl gladly ran errands and even caught Mr. Macluskie in the gym locker with the Spanish teacher doing the very thing they had seen in health class on the movies. Sure, he was handsome, but so was his wife. It seemed the world told Bonniegirl one thing and then did another. Church was different........the same people sat in the same pew every week. The same people sweated and fanned themselves in the summer with Psalm 23 fans that had a picture of the shepherd Jesus and his sheep (Bonniegirl was never sure how they knew exactly what this man Jesus looked like but he looked the same on every picture so someone must have known something she didn't) these fans were held erect with Popsicle sticks on the ends and the same Preacherman said the same things in the same order every week. The only thing that changed were the hats and the dresses and the songs sung by the choir.*



to be continued.....................

<mysterious music plays an eerie sounding melody as we await to find out what all this thinking about her past will mean for the Novella> *and give me time to figure it out FFS*

Better pop a lot of Popcorn.......something very unusual is about to happen to Bonniegirl

Bullet screeches to a halt in front of the coffee, bait, tackle shop. She runs into the shop holding a large parcel wrapped in brown paper with a ribbon and a bow…she frantically looks for MiniArt…..this is strange, there’s no one here…the place is empty…curtains dancing and waving in front of an open window, front door creaking in the wind ready to slam shut…the smell of burnt coffee in the bottom of the glass carafe. The only sound is a faint whoup, whoup, whoup, of the old ceiling fan in slow motion…where is everyone? Where has everybody gone?
She steps behind the counter to find a pen and pad of paper and starts to write…
“MiniArt, Take this and sew Bonnie a pretty and new house dress, nothing fancy but make it nice. Make sure it has deep pockets for her joose and places to hide what she loves. Take the rest and make her a Sunday dress, one she’ll be proud to wear. You’ll find a small bag with your fee and some joose as my thank you. Tell Bonniegirl it’s from a “friend”. There will be a little extra fer ya if you make it quick and get it to her.” Bullet signed her name, placed the note under the ribbon on the parcel and left it next to the register on the counter. She quickly fled out the door and drove off into the afternoon.

*Bonniegirl watches as a butterfly floats past the cabin porch like a wave on the ocean, the colors forming a kaleidoscope of fantasy to allow her thoughts to drift away from her childhood.........the butterfly lilted and lofted and hovered and then as quickly as it came........it was gone.......much like her childhood. She then recalled the events of the strange man in the bed and had a quizzical look upon her face, the furrows of the brow deepened in thought and her mouth pursed with the feeling of anger and shame.........Her mind left to her childhood again, she was 8 and he was 9 and it was a game of "Doctor"...........one of those I will show you mine if you show me yours.*Don't laugh, ya'll did it*........God he was scrawny and his weeny was ever so tiny and Bonniegirl was glad she did not have that extra burden to carry around. She begins talking aloud, to herself, as usual.

Ain't no way an no how dat dare mans cin makin me tah feelin lahk I bin a bad womans. Imma goot womans an I cin jest fergive meself dat Ms Walkerin prolem an jest trah tah be a ............ahem.....well I cin trah tah be a nahcer poison tah all dah peoples an all widout askin em tah be a sleepin near tah dat dare bed an all.............Preacherman Hy dun tole me dat all was fergivenin tah God an all an dat I had a clean slatin an all an I is gonna take dis cheer clean slatin an jess gib dat Ms Walkerin a restin an jess stickin tah dat dare joosin an all.

*Bonniegirl drips several drops of Mommas Angel Wings in her trusty 801 carto on her Tekk and takes a huge 7 second draw and exhales huge plumes of vapor that carry her troubles away to other places....*This is where she thinks them bad things should go should be inserted but she is a new woman now*

Nows dat I ain'ta gonna be wid dat Ms Walker den hows cin I be a goin tah dat tap roomin an see dat buncha stoopids a buyin bowels and dem dare cemercialins sellin dem thangs what dey is always a sellin an watchin dat dare crazy as a bed bug Sheen man frum dat dare TB show ackin all crazy an winnin an awinnin an all? I ain't got no wirin fer dat TB stuff an all an I was a laken dat dare bowel buyin show an all...........

*Bonniegirl rises and walks the path back to her own cabin past the fire and says a howdy do to all her friends, but she is in no mood to socialize, she is broken from the man in the bed, the child hood memories and possibly the missing of her trusty friend..........Ms. Walker*

Howdy dare Jelly Man...ya ees a lookin goot an all *now dat ya dun tooked dat dare boy scoutin uneeform off an all*.......ya ees lookin good an all an I hears ya is a waitin fer ya a new PV tah be a vapin on an dat joose net uh your'n shure do be lookin tah be full an all......shame ya cain't wear no brassieere *although ya prolly needs one uh dem*......yah wood be assurprisin tah fahnd all what ya cin holds in yer bosom..........dem dare pockets uh your'n looks all full an all an well ya looks like ya gots a hernia..........toodles tah ya Jelly man....Imma gonna go an thenk on dis cheer life an all



Pass the popcorn please?

***BonnieGirl comes a weaving and a bobbing up and is doing her usual moaning and mumbling about bowels and TB... I am SO glad I keep my shots up-to-date and have a big bottle of Purell. We all love that ol girl, but dang... never quite know where she been if ya know what I mean... Curlers a dropping on the path just like her tears, house dress stained with spilled KBV jooses...OMG (not the joose), is that a dead tree rat hanging out her pocket?***

Howdy Ms BonnieGirl, how you doing on this fine night... Yessum... I, yes Mame I have seen... No, I don't think I need a bra... yeah see Bonnie... no Bonnie that is not pockets, that is a tool belt, I understand. No...no.. I do not need TB. Yeah Ms Bonnie, ya have yourself a goood night.

***Holy Mose... How much Ms Walker has she had tonight? Something just not right since the ahhhh ummm Assault on Ms Bonnie's virtue the other night. Now I am no angelic type and I carry my own burdens, have made many a mistakes and had a few of those 3 AM moments, but there is a time when ya got to put down the bottle and put your cloths back on ffs... Well I hope miss Bonnie makes it home without any incidents. No falling into the wild, untamed like rose bushes or taking a dunk (although it might help her some) at Ciego's End, the docks. Time for me to get back to work... These bikes not fixing themselves - boB is bringing in that huffy tomorrow, got to fix that one up for him, maybe get some free joose out of him if I do it up right.***

Bonniegirl , yoo hoo Bonniegirl! Mini yelling from the doughnut shop stoop.
Bonnie come here girl I gots a prezzie for you,

You look a bit worn out hun, and I made these two nice comfy dresses for you,with big pockets and all loose and comfy in the heat.

Bullet wanted me to make um for you and I was happy to do it.

There now dont you look pretty! or at least a little less tattered.

Now then tuck your curlers back in and just kinda shift that stuff around in your bosum so it dont fall out ffs.

Go on down and join your friends at the campfire , someone is bringin one of those guitar things tonight to sing along.

Take your vape ! Bonnie dont run !! Bonnie !! OHHHHH chit , we gotta move those ..... ...... willows!

*Bonniegirl is lying in the .........willows and is being stuck by the thorny bush nearby.........again........the new house dress in hand is soiled from the posum droppings and the new dress on her is torn at the bottom...........as usual........the booing and hooing is heard all over the hidey hole*

Oh lawd....see whut ya done getted me inta cheer...I was a turnin me self over tah yer ways an all an now I dun got thorned and pussied by the willowin bushin an dis cheer bees dah worstest day an all............Boo and Hoo and SOB and sniffle and another boo and a hoo for good measure............why me lawd?...............why?..............alls I wanna do be tah fahnd me a nahc TB tah watchin dat dare wheelin show where dem buys dem selves a bowel an now lookee cheer........dis be horrid..oh woe is me and Boo and Hoo

***Sees Mini attempt to tiddy up Bonnie, to no avail... Bonnie immediately stumbles into the thorny, wild overgrown untamed rose bush on her way to the campfire.***

Oh lord... better get her out!

***I run to Bonnie;s aid as she is a twisting and booing & hooing, tangling herself even further in prickly, spiney mess of a plant. her curlers tangled an full of thorns, cry for help I cut her free with my hand swiss army knife ane help her to her feet. Mini runs to assist and starts pulling the thorns out.***

I think we got ta do something about these wild roses...all untamed and overgrown!

***Getting a shovel from the garage, I dig the accursed plant up by its thorny roots and toss it into the dark murk lock at lake Fishigan US of A and sink into the dark depths never to be seen again.***

*glides through the ..... ....... willows with the assistance of KY* "Hey guys I've been saving up and going to take the General huffy Lee to the Jelly man Bike Shop for a make over" "I think I'll start by replacing the .... tail on the back with a ............er cat tail what say guys?" *Pulls up to bike shop and sees sign that says (now accepting Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and KBV joose)!!!!!*


"OMG (not the joose) I can get a motor on this thing now guys!" " I may even go for some of them there fancy nobbly tires in case I run over the wild rose patch" *drops off bike and tells KY (Jelly Man) " give it the works" *walks over to the campfire and sits next to Bahn* "Bahn I say we both just go on the W.A.G.O.N. (Wild Adventure Generous Outrageous Night)?"

WELL it is about time that thorn bush is gone, wasnt no use to no body anyway! Good job there ChrisKY
Now then Bonnie it is ok , I will have your dress fixed in just a minute . You go one up to your cabin and watch some of that
tv box that you like so much. Now go straight up there , no wanderin,

Good grief!!

With the amount of fixin that needs doin around here I am gonna open a sewin, fishin reel and tackle , waders repair shop.
Seems something is always leakin, tearin, or tangeling around here ,

Bonnie heads off up the hill, thank heaven and hope she makes it this time

Now then boB u just go on that Wild Adventure yourself tonight . You can give bonniegirl a ride when she is feelin up to on the new bike. Ya know with that there cat tail on it you might have wolfie chasin ya where ever ya go .

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

<cheesy jingly music plays the tune of Dontcha wish your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me>

Good Morning Fishigan Fisherfolks and welcome to KBV Radio....the sounds of the old, the new and the..........well...........ahem..............just SOUNDS. The weather is a fine 60 degrees here in Fishigan and all are preparing to fill their nets with the finest Joose species around......Kick bass Vapor.......we want to send a shout out to our good sponsor Bob at Kick bass vapor for .......ahem..........supporting.........*OK, he don't agree with this all the time, he just gives us a mercy....ahem..........mercy support*.....While you are deciding which new joose to throw in your net, I would like you to consider my dilemma of a few years ago. I walked into our area big chain supermarket/grocery store. We needed coffee,bread and eggs. My dear hubby joined me in the store as it was a quick run and surely I would not "make a scene like I always do." I quickly gathered the items and went to the super express *Yeah, 5 items or less, which really means 15 items or less cause people can't count and are slippery*Dontcha just hate when people can't count? The cashier was a nicely dressed.....ahem.........*OK, if you like skull and crossbones and purple 6 inch fingernails* young girl of about 17.*they don't have to pay them much or give them full time or health benefits and then your ground beef can be on sale for 2.19 cents a pound*.........she rang each item by passing it over a reading thingy which "read" the bar codes and automatically rang up the item.
She announced the total was $16.48. I gave her a $20.00 bill. She typed in the amount given and she then proceeded to give me $183.52. I then said, "Honey, you have made an error, I only gave you $20.00." She then looked at the register receipt and she said, "This computer register is always right and I am giving you the right change." I took a deep breath and tried ad nauseum to explain the error to her and she was not GETTING it. I asked to speak to a manager. She turned toward the phone dangling from the pole and dialed a few numbers and the loud speaker announced..."MANAGER TO REGISTER ONE FOR CUSTOMER COMPLAINT.........."MANAGER TO REGISTER ONE FOR CUSTOMER COMPLAINT..........Everyone in the store turned toward me and dear hubby made an "exit stage left" quickly to the car..........the SCENE he so abhorred was about to commence. I did not want to make a scene, I wanted to do the right thing. The manager arrived and I explained my dilemma. She had a hard time understanding the problem! I was still holding the 183.52 in my hand. After a lengthy discussion, explanation and more or less pleading her to take her money back......she answered......(NOW THIS IS THE BEST PART)..ok, give me back the money and I will re-ring you up. I said, that is not necessary, the computer does not account for the amount given only the amount paid. That blew her mind. I said, "just give me my $3.52 and I will leave and we will be even. The manager said, "YOU wait right there!" I attempted explaining and she said without re-ringing the items how would they know how much change to give. I tried to educate her about counting up. If the bill is 16.48 ....take 2 cents and now you have 16.50, add two quarters, for 17.00 and three ones is 20.00. This literally blew her mind. Folks do not know how to count change back today. They depend on computers, calculators and the like. She did re-ring the items and I did get my correct change.You see, this was all my fault. I did cause the hubby dreaded SCENE! I should have handled this matter so differently. I could have said, "yes ma'am," when she said, "plastic bags ok?" Then when she handed me the extra money and I said it was an error, I should not have questioned an authority figure. She is AFTER ALL.........THE SENIOR CASHIER (according to the manager). I should have taken the extra 180.00. I could have prevented a voided sale, extra work to re-ring the items, a miffed hubby in the car, had my hair did and tipped the boy that pumped gas into the car a bit more. Dontcha Just Hate when you cause a SCENE?

Well, that was our episode of Dontcha just Hate........stay tuned for more of the sounds of the old, the new and the Fishy here at KBV radio.

A big shout out to Kick bass Vapor and their Kick bass Jooses for giving us their patient time for this programming. Kick bass vapor..........the best catch in e-liquid and the best prices around.........get you a net full of Keepers!

<cheesy Jingle music continues and OFF AIR sign goes on>

Pass the popcorn.........was that station static filled or was she eating something while she was talking?..................oh, vaping?................Mommas Angel Wings?........YUMMY!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

KBV Novella Chapter 69 Verse of the curse of the thorn wounds and the physic

*gliding through the ..... ............willows assisted by KY (you'd think he'd know his way around there by now* "Geez guys we gotta fill that hole where that ungodly rose bush was I nearly tripped walking up from the dock" *walks over to #1 Chopper Lane, in Chrome Pipe Fishigan to check on General Lee Huffy*

"Geez Jelly Man got er looking slick ............. I'z be fishing tomorrow so take yer time with er" "Matter of fact I may make one of then there S.O.L.A.R. (Superior Operating Large Anus Replacement) mods to replace Cigo's A.N.U.S." *wonders what will be needed to make it mobile around the Hidey Hole, Ciego used a red wagon, this one will be larger. Thinks no one likes anything that just sits around on it's A.N.U.S. all day* ....... "Hmmm Jelly man you using that ole Volkswagen van behind the shop?" "I'd like to make my S.O.L.A.R. mod mobile and I could use that van and it'd be the VW (Vaping Wagon).

*.....Jelly Man eyes the bottles of Uncle KY (the joose) and various other bottles in the tackle box* ..... "boB I don't have much of a use for it I was going to make a F.A.R.T. (Five Amp Replacement Tank) mod out of it, but that'd probably end up stinking anyway so I'm sure we can work out something"..........


To be Continued......................

This is what's going on Skeeter. The carts/tanks for the Tank attys are bigger and IDK if there is a drip tip for them or if they are even usable for dripping. The drip tip I sent you is for a 510 atty.


*Goes back to talking with Jelly Man about mods, between combining the S.O.LA.R. and F.A.R.T. mod a solar gas mod should be a breeze* Stay tuned................

*Bonniegirl looks down at the festered thorn wounds and to her chagrin the wounds are worse than ever. The pain is horrid......simply and utterly horrid and the booing and hooing commenced throughout the night as she trudged 42 1/2 times to the outhouse after taking the physic.......the 1/2 was the oopsy time when continuing the trudge would have been a mute point as the castor oil had gotten a "head" of her. The cleaning and wiping and booing and hollerin out for her Momma was more than she (and all of Fishigan) could take. Twas time to swallow her pride and submit to the new fangled remedies despite her fear of it. From her numerous E.R. experiences.........taken via police cruiser for medical clearance before going to the drunk tank in the grey hotel, their way of medicine did not align with hers. She discusses this with herself, aloud as usual, as she wraps the wounds with some rags lying about the cabin and pinned with fish hooks. She puts on the clean and unsoiled new house dress and the nice slippers and pats her hair just so to fix herself up before the journey to the first aid station or as she called it the baywatchin girls hang out on stilts. The fixin has really done not a bit for her looks but has made her feel as though she had readied herself and the lack of the Ms Walker has her in a .........ahem.........well..........she is just plain fidgetty and jumpy and a bit cross*

Good Lawd in dah heabens be wid me wins I bees at dat dare firstaidin stationin an all cause ifn dem dare mediciny folksis lahk dem dare rearengency places day be raht scarynest. Dey all be a drankin dey coffeess an all an talkin bout dey bacationin an dey outin tah dinnerin an all an dem folks be a cryin an a booin an a hooin an dey no pay no mahnd tah nonudat. Dey got dem dare tapes on yer bosoms an dat dare mecheene be a rangin an all an dey walks aroun an pay no mahnd tah dat. I tolt dat dare one wid dem pink peejammies on an all an she sayed dat dare rangin no meanin nuttin...........I sayed why ya gots dat dare on den if'n it no meanin nuffin. Dey stuffs ya a finger in dis cheer meecheene an all an he be a goin blip blip blip. I ain't neber in my hole enteer lahf dun seed any bunny what gots a fingerin tah blip an all. I was dare fer dat Ms Walker an dey be a checkin on me fingerin blip? Dat dare ain't no big timin doctorin......dat dare be voodooin an all. Dat dare black salve prolly wers ole an all mebe it no so pwerin as it wers wins mah granmama was a usin eat. Dat it..........is old an dat dare castor oil dat dat slipperyness KY fella gots me weren't no kinda jokin an all.........I was a loosy goosy allnaht an dis cheer thorniness prolem ain't none better fer it. I knowed my granmama always sayed eat woulda fix ya raht up tah git a goot cleanin out an all.........dey all did dat wins ya was a sick an all an wins ya had dat sorenesses...........a fiddleness sticks.....ah gots tah go tah see dat medic an see whats she sayin tah doin fer dis cause I cain't take dis no moe

*Bonniegirl steps off the porch and her gait is surprisingly less zigged and zagged despite the gimpy, limpy, walking on the hot tar kind of walk from the soreness in the thorn wounds and in the ego (Not the PV). OMG(Noth the joose) she is a mess on legs of festered wounds and curses the day that thorny bush was seeded. She speaks a howdy to all the fisherfolk by the fire and passes Bob and his son off to fishing. Tackle box, rods, reels and a bag lunch in hand. All the fisherfolk she passed had that glazed over "what will I do if I run out of joose while he is fishing " looks on their faces but Bonniegirls bosom is full with a net full and she has thorny wounds to look after. One of the fisherfolk offered her a bagel with Lox and she declined*

I ain't neber in mah lahf wantin dat dare Loxin stuffs near tah me.......dat last time I been a tryin eat it was all slimey an in dah end lef me wid a bad taste in mah mouth an all........I bees dah fertest one what eats a fish an all but I no like no Lox fer sure.....dat stuff is slimey an slippery

*Bonniegirl begins tryin to sing a song on the trudgery of the walk to take her mind off of the pain but the words somehow escape her and she humms a bit and walks to what may be the worst experience of her life*

Pass the popcorn please, this should get good when they give her a tetanus shot! *Don't LOL, you know they hurt and her pain threshhold is zero*

**comin' to help hold down Bonbon**
Whoa.. what's dat smell?? Goodness! Must be from dat dare castor oilin' ...Ehhww

*** Standing at work bench, tools in had working on boB's S.O.L.A.R. mod; grumblng to self about being a bike wrench not a Ciego, mod making full... Hears loud hollering and screaming from Bonnie as yssiM & Medic attempt to doctor up her festering thorn wounds. Drops soldering iron and grabs bungie cords - runs out of garage and goes to lend a hand.

Medic, yssiM... Hold her still for a minute, let me strap her down!

Carefully approaching the kicking and screaming Bonnie with yssiM & Medic laying on her to hold her down I start wrapping her up like calf on branding day. Attaching bungies to the porch posts and winding her up good and tight. yssiM & Medic let go and Medic starts cleaning the wounds of the nasty black junk she had applied that appears to be no more than Red Man chewing tobacco and honey. Medic preps the wounds and applies ointment to the wiggling screaming - booing & hooing Bonniegirl... Talking incoherently about Momma and Granny and physics... Saying this modern medicine will be the death of her.

Medics treatment complete, I unlash the sniveling Bonnie who jumps like a spring rabbit and bolts for her stump, leaving a trail of joose, PVs, used tissues, and assorted items from her bosom along the way.

Collecting my bungie cords and tipping my hat to the ladies I head back to my project in the garage... I no soon hit the door and boB comes running carrying the strangest contraption i have laid eyes upon since Ciego when to Florida and calls it his F.A.R.T. mod which he wants attached to the S.O.L.A.R. Listening intently to boB (since he is paying me in joose) I think to myself that boB REALLY needs a break and should go wet a line for a while... he is obviously not firing on all cylinders right now thinking folks are going to suck on his S.O.L.A.R. - F.A.R.T.

Shaking head I pat him on the back and tell him to leave it to me and go take your boys and go fishing...

*Bonniegirl is a snivelling mess of mucous, tears, shivers and drithers. It has been a hard and very long day but not near as long as that "hot poker they dun jabbed her wid" or so she said. She had run at break neck speed down the path from the first aid station mumbling about aid? dat ain't no kinda aidin" and the tears were strewn along the path to allow for the new poking crocus' to have a drink for the rest of the week. The noise! Oh, how the noise had disrupted the usually serene hidey hole in Fishigan U. S. Of A. and all had gathered to see what was the ruckus or had the circus come to town. There was chatter and patter abounding and the fire went down to a simmering coal as no one had time to feed it with fresh firewood and the day had turned a warm spring like tone to the air.*

To be continued.......................


Pass the popcorn, she is gonna be so mad when she starts talking about that "hot poker shot "

Wolfie..........lovin those tunes...................I guess since we are all ODD an all..................keep em comin..........teehee

dpowell........ahem.........the "other unnamed vendor" may nit be as ODD as KBV............I LIKE ODD personally.Perhaps the mere hinting of a flavor may free you from the evil clutches of ordinary and usual customer service. KBV is ODD after all and we embrace our oddity.

aub.....wow, a vape and a daughter that vapes............lucky and blessed is what I say! ave a wonderful time.......

@my sweet Missy..........your Mama is with you as mine is with me.. In the new buds of flowers, a cool breeze , a smell of honeysuckle, a drop of dew on the leaf, the song in your heart, the soft spot on the pillow, the hummingbirds wings, freshly cleaned sheets, a sunrise, a sunset, a rain drop on your nose, your eyes, your toes. She was your first love, your first friend and the first of you. You live on for her. Dance and be joyful in her. For she is all that is good and true. Hugs to you over miles and hills and rivers and valleys.

*The REAL Bonnie walks away with tears and shakes head back and forth*

This is all too weepy, sappy, "senti-mentally for me...............and NOW Cat Stevens?...........OMG(Not the joose) I can't take anymore!


Luv U 2 Missy and all my KBV folks.

Morning to all............Bullet, that was a true gift..........TY.........*pulling moist tissue from bosom*..............twas so thoughtful!

Missy..............You know Cat tugs my heart strings...................Yes, Morning has broken...........I saw it at 5am which used to be THE 5am , which is now 6 am and is going to continue to be 6am until it is once again 5am................dunno WTF(not the joose) time it really is but the sun rose over the trees (pines of course, this is the pineys) and well...............it is like the first morning................I even had a blackbird on the feeder this morning as I have decided to be rebelious. I refuse to listen to the Board of Health "authorities" which tell me that feeding the little birds is "perpetuating" the property ajoined, rat infested, left for naught, unkempt wooded area bought by a big developer before the real estate crash and his plans for twenty cookie cutter modular homes at 400% profit were squashed and two houses are occupied and three foundations lay in a crumble and the rest is overgrowth, garbage and rats! The rats visit to obtain a free meal of dropped seeds, suet and corn cobs for the tree rats (which is really a compromise/black mail since if I do not feed them, they will destroy my bird feeders, my beloved bird house condo made by my sweet FIL and well, I DO hate them). I have the 410 loaded and will sit on my back porch real quiet and shoot the first rat that shows his beady eyes and garbage breath on my property! If a tree rat is collateral damage............would anyone care for squirrel potpie? OMG(Not the joose) I have sunken to a new (and even lower) level of morality. Ahhh...........so what, who cares (Yes, Joy Behar)............I am ODD after all. Have a sunshiney day all!
*cocks gun and fills PV with many drips and readies self for the hunt*

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Morning Hidey Holers!

Time for a Sunday morning edition of... Jelly Man Says!

Spring has sprung here in good ol KY! 63 degrees yesterday... Birds are singing and the tree rats and bunnies are out playing. Dog are back to there favorite pass time - sleep in a sunny spot in the grass. Spent the day doing yard cleanup, cut down three dead trees I lost due to the drought last year and burned off brush. Just the usual Spring cleanup... Boy am I sore today. Seems like every year it gets a little harder; not sure why the trees get tougher and there are more limbs in the yard or more weeds to be pulled... Found out a very interesting fact - pine chips from chainsaw do not vape well and they really mess up the KBV Nutty Uncle KY flavor.

Anyway, after due consideration, I finally came to the conclusion that maybe the yard had not changed, but I had! Takes a little longer to get those chores done and then seem to be a little more sore than I did last year... or the year before. Yup... getting a little older and a little slower (yes BonnieGirl I said I was getting slower - insert comment here). But still wonderful to get out of the house and play in the yard and just maybe get the bike out of the garage to... cough, cough. go get that...um...thing I forgot at the store.

"No, no honey... I will go get it - gas being so I high, I will just take the bike, sure... that's the ticket." wink, wink, nod, nod!

But I digress... Yard work... getting older... sprung Spring... OK - I remember where I was. I get on the bike and just lose track. The lillies and irises are starting to poke out of the ground and the temperature is rising. I love this time of year! So the moral of this ramble is, shut off the computer... turn off the TV and get out and enjoy the majesty of nature. Even if you just go set on the porch or take a walk around your neighborhood, it will do you a world of good.

Speaking of which... I think I forgot something else at the store! Just a better jump on the bike and run out and get that very important thingy I did not get the... Oh you get the idea! LATER!

Jelly Man Says is brought to you buy Kick Bass Vapor - Let them "lure" you in!

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