The KBV Novella-- Complete and Unabridged

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Once again, a pair of nefarious characters, clad in trenchcoats sneak into the studios of KBV Radio - The Divine 69 point 69.***

Hello burls and goys, this is your ol' buddy Mike Oxlong, along with guest engineer Hugh Jardon... Tonight we'd like to present a new feature, called,

"What's Wrong with that Joose?"

Tonight, we're taking a close look at a new line of jooses from Vomit Vapor Dot Commies, called their "American Nausea Line." According to Eaton Foulpoon, owner and vaporator of Vomit Vapor, these jooses feature a base made with petroleum jelly, instead of PG, VG or PEG.

At $18.00 for 7 milliliters, they're hardly a bargain. But we're not here to talk about prices, we're here to bash their dispicable joose.

Here's a flavor. "Up your Chuck." The description says it is supposed to taste like kimchi, that famous Korean cabbage dish. To me it tastes more like....smegma? Can we use that word on the air?

** Hugh Jardon chuckles appreciatively. **

Okay, here's one called, "Bad Bean Bake." This one is supposed to taste like old fashioned baked beans after they've been recycled through the digestive system. I dunno about you, kiddies, but this one sounds pretty vile.

And finally, here's the flag.... of the Vomit Vapor line, "Vulgar Vegan Volcano." Dirty gas station men's room and/or Waffle House comes to mind on this one...

Well, speaking just for me, I am very very happy that there's a quality alternative to all the garbage currently bering promoted on the Internet by juice vendors who obviously go through life clueless, but hoping to cash in on the popularity of vaping. Although the name of their business is simply one of the dumbest I've ever heard, you gotta love the quality, taste and customer service offered by Kick Bass Vapor. Hell, who want's to punt a fish? I think PETA should get involved. Kick my bass, willya?.

** Hugh Jardon triggers sound effect of a flounder being place-kicked. ***

Until next time, when we can again sneak into the station, this is your old pal Mike Oxlong reminding you that a KBVaper is a happy vaper.

Now, we return you to this thread, which is already in progress....

*** The air fills briefly with warm static and the big transmitters powers down.

KBV will hold a benefit auction to acquire a new new sauna heater in hopes of a grand opening 4th of July weekend along with the Lake Fishgan 1st annual VG wresting tournament. Donations of empty KBV bottles will be accepted and expected to bring a nice price from the recycle center. Prizes are yet to be determined but Andy Closehoff and Wendy Doer are working on it.

We'll just bill ya for the new sauna heater

Hey FV, glad you made it back safe. Yes the Thonged ranger is back, he's taken a segment on KBV radio 69.69 now he's got songs stuck in our head. It's a record though I think it's been 2 or 3 days since he's fallen in the lake or the ...........




willows and had to be rescued by medic


Ciego that was me with the train wreck, reading your post about songs that stick in your head I knew I should have stopped but had to read which ones they were and now have one stuck, remember payback is ......... well payback

** The ancient 420 and 811 tubes in the old transmitter warm to life as a shadowy figure again keys the microphone...**

Hey pals n' gals, this is your ol' buddy Mike along with engineer Mr. Jardon, live and kicking bass here at the Divine 69, KBV Radio.

Today's topic: Songs that stick in your head, and bad jooses that stick in your craw and/or atomizer. Nothing makes a bad vape worse than listening to some horrific pop concoction that sticks in your head.

I'm not gonna name names here, but you gotta know that not all jooses are as good, pure, tasty and lovingly-made as KBV joose. In fact, there are vendors right here on ECF who use substandard nicotine and veterinary-grade PG, so caveat emptor and caveat sphinctor, if you get my drift.

Okay, back to the songs that stick in your head. Ready for a little self-torture? Google Rebecca Black "It's Friday" and listen. This inane, lousy song went so viral that the 14 year-old Ms. Black at one point was earning $35,000.00 per week from shared advertising revenues on youtube. Or so the story goes.

I'm gonna throw down the gauntlet here. ANybody other than Missy, who has superhuman abilities, who can make a song stick in my head wins a bottle of the KBV joose of his/her choice. I make the final decision, and there can be only one Weiner....er, winner.

And speaking of Weiners, goodbye Anthony. I don't personally think he should of resigned, but that's just me. I appreciate smut.

Now, we'll relinquish these airwaves in the interest of promoting truly intelligent conversation. BTW, our prayers go out to all the firefighters in Arizona, New Mexico and Florida, and the various support folks, the medics, the cops, the drivers, the pilots. God be with all of you as you battle these fires.

** The transmitter quietly hisses into silence as the old 811 and 420 tubes cool. As the airwaves quiet, you can almost hear the universe sigh. **

@ Aubergine/Ms. Eggplant:

I actually performed in a brothel

Me too, sorta, but we ain't goin' there. Eggplant is a Stately Old Lady and her colorful past, which incidentally also included some little brief hallo with Santana (see Pacific High School, La Honda, The Land, Black S... Puppy Farm, somewhere's near 1968) but nothing so completely cool as recently playin' with former members in Cent. A, musically or otherwise - her colorful past is awanderin forever far away in the sky with diamonds and gonna stay there whilst she arrange her dreadful pantyhosen.

Now I gotta get back to work, fast, but ooh keep the eclectica pretties comin', I loves this place...

Ya'll are a bit ODDer than usual this mornin'. I feel more comforted when weez all a bit odd... er..... odd... est..... er.....
I sure agree that yssiM has a knack fer pickin' unique (not eunuch) and memorable (did someone say "obsure"?) vids off'n youtooby. Did I hear sumpin' bout red curtains by th' hidey hole? Well I guess we could use a little dressin' up round here but careful bonnie doesn't grab 'em n make a housecoat outa them. She be lookin' like th' ole ms walker in the red dress she be totin' round.
n don't putem up in front of the fire..... that ol' KYGeneman 'll think its a drive in movie.... just sayin'

It's a beeyoootiful day in th' hidey hole. n I heard a vapin' store brick-n-morter type opened up right down the road a piece from me. Gonna haveta stop inta eCigCity in Laguna Beach.

Chelle..... sure nice t' see ya.

*** Ciego drags a huge bundle into the sauna building, then returns and grabs another load....***

Okay, if those evil women of FRIGID (Fishigan Retired Independent Gals Improving Decency) don't like my sauna, wait until they get a load of this!

*** Hangs mirror ball above where sauna heater should be, then begins to erect sturdy brass dancin' pole.**

Yep. "Blind Man's Boff," Lake Fishigan's very first strip club is about to be...er, unveiled.

** He chuckles at the bad joke and begins to turn the sauna benches into a stage platform.**

Sniffers' Row! Or perhaps more correctly, Vaper's Row!

Man I'll make a mint with this. We already got a lot of fine prospects for deejays...and Lard knows that it ain't tough to hire dancers in this economy. Hell, I'll bet half the graduating class from Lake Fishigan High will want to audition...

**Emits an evil chuckle.**

Yep, nobody knows how to turn a trick...er, make a biuck like ol' Ciego!

** Begins assembling deejay booth...**

** A lonely shed begins to glow with an eerie light, as antiquated tubes in an ancient transmitter warm to life, and the air crackles with an ethereal static and hiss....**

Hey Dudes and Dude-ettes, it's your ol' buddy Mike Oxlong, along with substitute engineer Helena Handbasket, bringing you the nooz from the shores of Lake Fishigan, here on the Divine 69.69, KBV Radio.

A successful contest was promoted today by Godzilla, founder and father of foxyboxmods.com - Home , maker of extraordinary 3.7 and 5 volt box mods. The contest was to guess the number of Lincoln Logs in a tub...567 was the winning count, and the winning counter was Tierratis. BTW, Happy Birthday Tierra...and what a great gift, especially since it includes a little ol' bottle of KBV juice!

Madman Ciego has been seen wandering around, trying to convert the failed sauna into some sort of adult entertainment venue. No word yet on a grand opening, although Ciego is expected to begin hiring boobie girls...er, dancers in the very near future. His "Stick a Song in My head" inpromptu contest last night was a big hit around the Hidey Hole, and certain songs, including "the Song that Never Ends" and Rick Astley's frothy little pop concoction, "Never Gonna Give you Up" are driving him nearly insane. By the way, Ciego reports no progress has been made in tracking down his missing sauna heater and his missing silk unmentionables... the Thongs of Destiny.

** Engineer Helena Handbasket is suddenly overcome with impatience and stabs a long, elegant finger at the master power switch... A hiss of ethereal static fills the airwaves as the big transmitter once again falls silent.**

No "sales," but if you look at the regular prices and low shipping costs, you'll see that KBV's prices are already very reasonable...far less than the industry-standard $1.00/ml.

Welcome to the Hidey Hole here on the shores of Lake Fishigan, U.S.A. Enjoy the oddity and the hand-crafted KBV e-liquid.

** Ciego takes a small bow and wanders toward the lake...then trips and falls into the wild rose bush...**

Aw, crap. Anybody got an adhesive plaster?

**preacherman HyOnLyph peeks outa the lean2, ears perked an' eyes searchin' everywhichaway** "Novella??? Did I hear boB mention the novella?? What mischief has beset us?? The fire needs another log no matter how hot it is 'round these parts" *Hy reaches down for a gooden n steps across the two fallen trees layin sidebyside, he uses as a bridge across the stream. Tosses a log on the fire. As the log hits and a mixture of ash, smoke ..... oops... just vapor... (no ash or smoke in these parts) .... and diein' embers flies up ... sumpin' stirs in the bushes... the throny ol' rosey bushes.....*

"whodat?" "Whodat I say??!! lying in da bushes?"

**Suddenly a passel o'possum comes scurryin' out in a row... one after tuther... cross th' hidey hole, round the fire... n off down t'ord the dock..... searchin' for .... well fer whatever.... They is the posse o'possum hired by Ciego.... duely depatized .... t' search out n seezure... um ... uh.... sees yer .... um .... seizure.... (sigh)... see if'n someone's stealin' his stuff. Looks like now he's got'em on th' hunt fer that heater stole by ... well .... whomever it was stole by....**

* Hy looks around as stillness engulfs the hidey hole again... looks like everyone's on th' lake ...(waiting by their 'puter) fer KBV JOOSE Fishin' season t' open back up agin......cast a line .... catch some JOOSE .... woo hoo...... best there is...**

*walks off wonderin' t'hissef if boB ever issued th' fishin' licenses he was plannin' on. *

** Ciego peers out of the untamed rose bush....**

Hey! I haven't seen the Preacher around here in awhile... (okay, who am I kidding? I haven't _seen_ anybody around here, ever. I smelled the jelly Man once, and Bonnie's breath after a night of...er, medicating with the Ms. Walker....)

** Ciego catches the smell of possum on the move...and if you've never smelled possum on the move, you've missed out.**

Sure hope them possums find my stupid sauna heater! The Fishigan County Board refused to approve my strip club....er, adult entertainment venue. Now I'm stuck with a building made with a lot of expensive redwood and cedar planking, and no sauna heater!

** Ciego extricates himself from the somewhat smelly rose bush, intending to walk toward the fire to sit awhile, only to go face-first into the .....




willows.....**

Aw, crap!

**medic comes walking up the pebble path after a long day working the lifeguard stand...it's hard work sitting in the sun making sure no one drowns...when she finds Ciego tangled up in the .....


willows**
Come on Ciego, I will help you back to the fire. I heard what the Fishigan County Board said about your Adult enternaiment venue. do you think they might let you turn it into a disco????? With all of the good music lately, a place to dance would be nice...Just a thought.....

Novel~Chapter 69


*Out of the raging darkness in the dead of night, Mr Riley walks out of the tree line into a rising dawn, sun slowly creeping over the tree tops where upon looking around there is no one around the fire, "Tiss time to have some fun". Skips around each stump placing sample bottles of Tootsie and OMG around them. Then decides to put up some much needed upgrades to the hole*

*Runs back to the wardens truck and speeds off back to the Wardens supply shed* *Loads truck up with Lumber, screws, hammers, saws, cordless drills, nails, shovels and a couple of crappers*

*Rushes back to the sweet hidey hole and starts construction of 2 new outhouses* *Loud bangs and the sound of cordless drills fill the air* After 5 hours of construction the outhouses are complete, "Now everyone will have a place to cop a squat and hopefully they wont fall in, I dont think the opening is big enough for that blind feller wondering around here.*

*Sits back and admires the piece of amazing trap he just built*

*Skips back off into the wild just after placing a prize winning black label upon Ms. Bonnies stump with a mysterious black envelope taped to the bottom.

I dripped OMG into a blank KR8 cartomizer on a PT, which is 5 volts, and got a lot of flavor, but I agree with Basement Cat that the Candy Bar loses something at 5 v. The chocolate is there, but the nuts go out the window...

** Laughs to self at mental image involving a speeding car and nuts out the window...beats "mooning." **



I concede that the loss of flavor might be due to the use of a cartomizer; I'm really starting to dislike cartomizers, because (real or imagined) I'm tasting polyfill with every puff. Might just be in my head (like the voices, above).

"... And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, haha!"

I'm vaping Caramel Cappuccino this morning...turns out I wasn't out...managed to eke a few more drops out of the bottle. This flavor is really addictive.

It's amazing. Every juice I have tried from KBV has been delicious. I like every flavor I've tried...of course, I like some more than others. Even the Peaches and Cream, which I initially wasn't thrilled with has become a favorite in less than 24 hours' time.

I think it must be Elfen magic.

** Thinks of Ernie Keebler coming out of a hollow tree with a fistful of Pecan Sandies.**

"Man you never would believe where those KBV juices come from....
They're made by little guys in a hol-low tree...
And what do you think makes those juices uncommon?
They're made in magic bottles and there's no fac-to-ry!"

*Notices Mr.KickBass trolling around the hidey hole*

*Sneaks up behind the newly built outdumpers and quietly sets the gears in place* *giggles as he runs off blowing out billowing clouds of OMG* WTF (Not the JoOse) someone stole my story....No really someone stole my story SOB I had it sitting here on this rock and its gone.........

*hears someone sneeze in the bushes behind the new portacrappers just built* I wonder if its that Cat I lost in the basement a while back*

** Ciego quickly dashes over to one of the new outhouses and nails up a large "Information" sign. **

Okay BoB, I am ready to answer questions and dispense hand sanitizer... I'm afraid that the vapor soon to rise from these biffies won't be *nearly* as pleasing as KBV vapors.... but glad to have the new facilities. I damn near tripped over someone when she was hanging her .... over a log... Don't know who it was, but she was most definitely a she. Damn near stepped right into her slip trench latrine there.

** Shudders involuntarily. ** Hey, is one of these a men's room and the other a ladies' room...or are they unisex?

** Looks around.**

Hey! Where did everybody go? Surely there aren't that many watching college hoops...

** Vapes some more delicious OMG...the juice...from his Ego. He contemplates the long and illustrious life of his atty, The Immortal, which is Immortal no more. **

You know, The thing was working fine until somebody started posting those damn "Highlander" quips. These fora (that's hoity-toity talk for the plural of "forum") sure have been plagued by coincidence lately. Synchronicities, even.

** Smiling to himself, he tries the old Snagglepuss line.... "Exit, stage right..." and makes a dash for the woods. He runs face-first into the .....

willow...again. **

*Cat looks around*

Ha ... thinks I'm lost in the basement. Just obscured in OMG vapor. Sometimes it does make me sneeze, but dang it's tasty ....

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

***Looks around the campfire and wonders where everyone is.... Throws logs on fire and gets the fix'ns for a fresh pot of coffee. Hears loud thrashing in the trees followed a string of cussing. There's Ciego! Fighting with the ..... willow again. Will that boy ever learn... Never gonna win against a ......... Willow.***

Ciego - Get over here before you sprain something! That aint no life jacket... Put that away. Wheres boB and yssiM... BonnieGirl... Mini_art... Anyone else around?

Heard someone say'in they got no flavor at 5v? Huh...Never had that problem. I run my trusty Turbo AV at 5v with a 2.3 ohm 510 and get nice, rich, layered flavor on every KBV catch I've caught and that's a lot of catches i can tell ya! Good on my eGo (the PV, not my swelled head) too with a 2.0 or 1.7 ohm atty too.

If'n those catches are not to your like'n I am sure someone around the Ole Hidey Honey Fish'n Hole will swap ya or take then off your hands... Some good vaping if ya ask me.

***Pulls out bottle of Caramel Cappuccino and drip, drip, drip - blows out huge plum of vapor***

Just to remind everyone, ordering is shut down until the web site goes live tomorrow evening, so get ready... Season is about to open here in Fishigan!

** Ciego sees Basement Cat....well, you know what I mean...**

Hello Basement Cat! You and I are both vaping the OMG today...mighty fine.

Listen, I am not a butter cream icing fan either, but I've heard from many that it's a great vape. Monkey Bread is hugely popular, but I haven't yet tried it.

I have to watch my budget. I could drop a couple hundred bucks with Bob and IssyM. easily, just trying all their flavors.

I love the Tootsie, the OMG, the Caramel Cappuccino, Aunt M.'s Coffee, Strawberry Slice Cake, Peaches and Cream, Vape PlacidCandy Bar, and Navel Lint. (Naw....I just made up that last one). Still unsure about the Jamaican Ginger Mint, but KBV flavors have a way of growing on me.

I wonder if Smoking Bullet survived her 29th birthday celebration last night. I heard something about pedicures *shudder* and other femmy-wemmy stuff. You think that she'd be out doing something more adventurous, like riding ATV's or shooting or skinning cats....er, possums....

I don't feel like a traitor at all, and I thought I would...but I just placed a juice order with Eekaa_Chu's new venture. She offers a couple flavors KBV doesn't, and vice-versa. Worth reading her thread here if nothing else. She sounds like a very sweet person, too.

Bob, Missy....hope you enjoyed your evening without KBV responsibilities last night, and your dinner out, and your....er....um.....you know....

** Ciego has the grace to blush furiously.**

Addendum-da-dum-dum....

When I last crashed into the ..... willows, my mouth was open, and I discovered....

I like to eat .....
willow.... Go figure. And somebody said it tastes like fish. No it does not... but I am having trouble getting the fluff out from between my teeth. Anybody else have experience eating .....
willow? Euell Gibbons? Anybody?

** Ciego sneaks off in search of some Meadow Rue to make tea, maybe some spruce needles, some wild hemp flowers....something.... **

Hey slyfox, we all went though that at first. Luckily It doesnt last that long. I would ask what kind of equipment u are using too.

Know this , a 510 atty has the least flavor and lots of vapor. The lr 901 has much more flavor , and the Lr 801 is the top of the heap for both flavor and vapor, but it is a large atty.

If u cant taste things yet u might consider an atty change too.

As for extra flavoring , I really dont know . U may have to inquire when u order and see if they can do that .

Welcome to the hidey hole where the tree rats run free, the blind guy lands in the ..... willow every other 10 mins, the porta potty is available if u chase the possum outta it first and the stumps dont have too many splinters

U might be able to snag the barkolounger for a few while the mistress of vape is gone tonight

Hey guys! Is there room by the fire? ***pulls up a log*** I've found some interesting herbs for Ciego's tea...

...they're legal! I swear!

Not wired too tight? I resemble that remark....

** Sips his cup of spruce needle tea with extra botanicals.... Giggles as his eyes begin to turn red...**

Shades....where'd I put my shades? Damn possums probably took them...again.

Hey Maiseri, welcome. You're a brave woman, not for coming 'round the fire tonight, but because you're married to that ChrisKY-Jelly guy.

** a possum runs over Ciego's foot, wearing his Ray-Bans....**

C'mere you li'l #!@*$!!! Gimme back my shades!

** Ciego jumps up to chase the li'l critter, and runs right off the dock...

Again. **

***Pulls the dripping Ciego from the lake AGIAN.... Hands him towel and RayBans dropped by scared possum***

True... Masiri is a brave lass for being married to me (not too bright I think for saying I DO) and even braver for joining us at this here funny farm we call the Honey Hidey Fish'n Hole where the tree rats and possums run and there is always a warm fire, a bottle of Mrs Walker, and some fine vaping.

So how are the plans for the Ciego Super Vapor 3000 Mark III coming? I got you that transformer, stainless steel mesh and 14 deep cycle tractor batteries you wanted...

Oh, no...i'twas a bonny, fine day when we got marrit. I knew I had the right lad...! Ah, there's a wee bit o' seaweed in yur ear, Ciego.

Rustling leaves from up treetop,and down to the ground with a soft thud gramakittycat slowly picks herself up and looks around the campfire sitters.Say ya'll i swears I can na hardly stand it no more!this used to be my peaceful hide-a-way tree but I tell ya all this commotion since this KBV crew moved in here,blind guys in thongs fallin off the dock or into .......willows at an abnormal frequency,wimmin pulling bottles outta logs and their bosums.Then ya got a lame warden and yes I do mean lame aplottin to steal joose from them nice folk that a work so hard to make it.Glad they finally are a takin some time off.Now gimme that cup o' stuff ya callin' 'tea' (sniffs and wrinkles nose in distaste) Boy this stuff ill' make ya go blind;i mean....Than nice Miss Ekkas' granny makes better stuff in her still.Now she (ekka's granny) and i have had some high ol times sippin' on those squeezins'!And never you mind what specicifically I means.As fer them thats sayin this joose needs a flavor kick well now I might be agreein' with them .Now don't go gettin all hot n bothered it just my old tastebuds sure find it the best I ever tasted but beein as old as they are and havin endured some of the fowlest swill out there might be damaged so an xtra shot of flavorin' would surly be welcome.Not meanin any offence to no one now ya here....Think I'll mossey on over and visit granny a bit now that ya all know Ive been here watchin all alon! but mind you that tree limb is mine and I 'spect to find it jes as I leaft it now(backs slowly out of the light from the campfire into the dark woods her voice is heard saying" an I gots plenty o' rock salt here in my shotgun so don't none of you's think on tryin' any funny stuff tryin to get my little KBV stash."I'ma needin to restock here soon ;she mutters to herself)

*sneaks up behind Mr. Kickbass with a wet rattail and......SNAP......*Mr Riley takes off back into the darkness of the woods leaving a trail of OMG clouds behind him*

So nice to see mrs. KY here...howdy ma'am.. you got a good catch there hun

And gramma....Dont you be gone too long now. (((hugs)))

jeannest... welcome to the crazy finshin' hole.. pull ya up a stump by the fire, and grab ya some marshmallows watch out fpr the opossum posse tho..

*The game warden approaches the hidey hole from the road access*

"Ok everyone i'mma have ta takes a peak at yins fishin license and if ya aint got one you's gonna have ta hand over all catches found in possession of your person" "If ya didnt know i'm the warden round these here parts My name is Warden Riley that flake DLite got fired for being to soft around the edges, didnt know what back woods is to cityfied and I for one couldnt stand the lame wang doodle."

Things is gonna be changing round these here parts starting with yssiM when the empress is present y'all need to give her your undivided attention as she's meaner than a rattlesnake on a hot summer night and if she aint happy you aint gonna be happy.

Second when Mr. Kickbass is present coment on the backside because thats all you's gonna see of him, He's busyer than a blind midget russlin through big berthas rolls. Minds me of that Wilson feller from home improvement always got wisdom to share but you aint gonna see his face unless he wish to show ya's.

Third No fishin license No catch so with that being said if you aint gotcha one put the fine OMG and Tootsie specie's into the cooler for safe keeping, I'll watch over them and make sure once you have aquired such a license to possess the infamous catches I will glady return them*

:steps up to the hidey hole, pulls up a stump with extra moss....lookin around for that new warden: howdy friends! Beautiful night, great weather, (fans vapor away) nice view of the stars here at the hidey hole tonight. I was hidn out listenin to that new warden....permit?....ill show him a permit...

:whips out the Omega with the LR801...pulls off the whistle tip and generously drips the OMG (yes, the joose....arrived today!!), takes a nice long slow draw, and releases a cloud of vapor so thick, the gods are envious...then follows with some nice rings that look and smell like doughnuts:

Grab one of them there rings and stick it....in yer pocket there warden iffin ya think yer gunna get yer hands on my catch!

Welcome to the hidey hole, Mrs. KY.....and just so you know...its the old mans fault our blind friend keeps fallin in the ........willows.....keeps greasin up that dock landing and movin stuff around on the poor guy....:shakes head:

:shrugs: makes the time pass gud enuf tho...and gotta admit...bout as funny as that warden thinkin he's agunna get our catch.

On a side note....have vaped myself into a coma a few times today...still trying to find the right set up. Yesterday was my one month analog free date, so my buds are still adjusting. I will say that though the flavors are subtle, I rather enjoy that "double taste" you get from these jooses. One inhaling, one exhaling...
Tried the vape placid first...instant hit. Going to be a good one first thing in the morning and right before bed....next came the monkey bread...not as sweet as I was expecting coming from a gingerbread aholic...but still good.(still ready and willing to beta an actual gingerbread type flavor):nudge-nudge:...next, moved on to the OMG...my fave of the order so far. A lot of gentle good flavor out of this one. Not sure its an all day vape for me....but wouldn't hesitate picking up a carto and vaping away on this joose.....wait.....what's this....a lil bottle hiding in the corner of the bag...tag reads "WTF"....could it be???? The new beta flavor??? Could I be so lucky?!?!?!?....took out the freshly cleaned LR510....put in 5 drops, letting it soak in....popped my DT back on...hit the button on my 3.7v Indulgence and....OMG (not the joose)....WTF (not the joose) is that????? That's awesome! Gonna have to pick me up a bottle of this WTF joose (so asshamed...called it typical "juice" first :sigh..hanging head! Not sure what it is....don't really care....all I know is this bottle will be empty by morning!

I may not have found my all dayer yet, but you can be sure I will not be a stranger to the hidey hole and the KBV clan! Plenty more to catch! Great job on the juice! And not to mention the personal feel of the customer service that I'm sure goes in to every order!


on the go....with my "yellowjacket" Reo

***From the cabin Up Wind of the new outhouse, I see the Lame...eeerr...Gay.. Game Warden harassing the fine KBV fisherfolk around the camp fire. Confiscating joose and placing it into his cooler...Proclaiming himself to be "Mr Riley", as if he thinks he we do not recognize Warden Dlite when we see him. Gathering my PV, I head to the campfire to take this matter into hand in the absence of boB & yssiM.***

Dlite! You think'n we don't know you for the rat fink, lower than a sows belly in 6 inches of mud, no good, rotten joose theif you are! Put down that cooler and step away form the joose... do it now! Ciego, toss me that that rope... we're truss this scoundrel up for safe keep'in until boB gets back - he'll know what to do with you... Ciego... NO! Thats not a rope, thats that gas line for your Vapomatic 3000 Mark III! Watch out everyone...

*** Ciego tosses the gas line and spreads fuel onto the campfire, immediately igniting his black KBV thong and the ........willow? Hoot'n and hollering, Ciego runs down the dock and dives into the lake. The Warden drops his cooler and makes a run for it while the gett'ins good. i stomp out the flames and run to the poor, blind Ciegos rescue - pulling the steaming vaper from the cold water.***

Sorry Ciego... Guess I should have asked someone else to toss the rope... Oh Well, he may have gotten away, but we exposed him for what he is... Here's a towel & a robe, because OMG (not the joose), that thong is getting a little religious - holey if ya get me... Lets get back to the fire and get some coffee and a nice morning vape....

Wonder where BonnieGirl been keeping herself? Anyone seen her around?

***YAWWN*** Good morning, fine folks at the Hidey Hole. I must say you are a very welcoming bunch, and there's a fine cloud of vapor rising up from this campfire. It's a little too early for Mrs. Walker, but I think I'll find Aunt M. She's almost better than Starbucks this time of day. And, of course OMG (not the joose) the OMG (the joose) is still soooo good! It will probably be my best "all day" friend, once I get past that menthol monkey. Usually have my carto of a menthol on standby, but have discovered that dripping into my Ego is like blast of Artic wind! ***inhales deeply from her Ego - as that Artic vapor leaks out her ears***

"Aaaahhh"...Now, tell my about this Vape Placid. Maybe we need to move this here fire to another lake. I'm thinking I'd like to try that joose, unless there are overgrown reptiles involved.

So, is that what happened to your thong, Ciego? Those look more like teeth marks instead of holes...? Just askin'!

*bonniegirl is trudging down holey lane toward the honey hole......hair matted and flyin everywhere, bossom full of various jooses and PVs as well as batteries and attys and cartos and CE2 s and other necessities (all of which have been previously mentioned in horrific detail.....)....she is sobbing and booing and hooing and stops suddenly to drip OMG(Yes the joose and a few tears into the PV and begin trudging toward "home.".......She is mumbling to herself and crying and is hard to understand but the jist of the overheard mumblings are as such*

who do those chinese peoples thenk they is tellin me mah toes is too grungy tah werk on an mah toenails was too tuff tah cut threw? an after dey asks me tah wait "ten minit.....wat colr youleek" an me a waitin fer 2 hours an no bottles allowed in dare fancy pants place an dat man in dat Harley place ah tellin me I caint fit mah bosoms inna black leder vest an all......who does dey thin dey is a tahlkin tah? I ain't no high falutin kinda woman but I ain't no homeless eider.........

*The booin and hooing and sobbing and woe is mein go on for miles as she trudges down a right hand turn toward the honey hole of vapin.............the mumbling continues*

<enter sad slow violin music in background of this here sad part of the novella, cause ALL folks needs is to be loved and accepted>

an who does that man is da samich shop tellin me afore I asked fer a sing dat dey ain't got no leftovers.....I ain't asked him fer no leftovers FFS.....I ain't eatin nuttin somebody done slobbered over er pickt up dare nakin and blowed dey nose in an pet it in dare plate.....no I is a folk wantin tah buy me a bite tah eat an all an a cool glass ah water tah wet on mah whiste......rotten folks makin a person fel liken dey ain't even dare an dat man puttin a quarter in mah beer can!............WTF(not the joose) were dat about? I ain't no twenty fahv cent hoe come tah town tah collectin fer homeless folks and keepin dah money or scammin dah system............no siree.........I lives a good an clean life back at mah home in Fishigan an I is treated fahn dare, all luvs me, dey do an, alls I do is say Howdy do an all is good tah me...............rotten slant eyed toenail people and samich makers.......makin a woman tah feel she is a nobahdy........an ifn I git me a motorbike I will pull up at that harley man and Imma gonna steck mah tongue out as fer as I cin an till him to stick his vests up ware dah sun don shine an all............bosom es too big? he prolly dun got sizin problem his own he ain't want tah talk bout....teeny peeny syndrim..........dat him fer shure.

*Bonniegirl sees the vapor cloud and knows she is close to the honey hole and stops to take it all in and drip a bit of OMG(Yes the joose) onto her atty and smiles ......a small few left over tears fall upon her cleavage and down the zipper line of her open heart surgery and into the recesses of the prized belongings*

*speaking aloud and then singing*
There ain't no place lahk home, dare ain't

Zippity doo dah, zippity ay, my oh my what a wonderful day, dare is plenty uh sunshine is headin mah way zippity doo dah zippity yay.

***Been an eventful morning around the Honey, Hidey Fish'in Hole for a Sunday... Waiting for the Preacher, HyOnLyph, for our weekly sermon... Ciego is drying off on his stump with all his bandages covering his burns and Mrs KY is saying howdy to all the fine fisherfolk. Got some nice OMG (the joose) in a fresh atty, since WTF (not the joose), I don;t got none of the new species WTF (yes the joose) or any of that other new one LOL (da joose). Down the trail here the sounds of Boo'in & Hoo'in and see the familar figure of our beloved BonnieGirl heading to the campfire.***

Bonnie! Where ya been? We all been missing our Ms Bonnie (and her stash of Ms Walker). You done missed the wicked Lame...eeerr Gay...Ahhh Game Warden Dlite trying to pass hiself off as a New warden Riley... Alright though, our boy Ciego had another explosion and ran him off. He is back to his ol joose theiving ways, watch yer bossu... ahhh Joose stash.

Ain't seen much of boB... He's hard at work getting the site up for ordering, but yssim been stopping by while she running this way and that. Get over here to the fire, we saved a stump for ya and got some coffee and of course some Aunt M (da joose, not our Mini.. Just her joose). We just have a vape and waitin for the be unveiling from boB so we can all order us up some more of these fine catches...

Have you met the Mrs? Maisri - Finally got her out to the Hidey hole ta join in the fun...

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*bonniegirl sets down on stump with a flop and seems out of breath and is pooped. Sweat drips from her brow and down into the bosom as well as tears in the same manner. Her usually well kempt curlers are gone and the matts of hairs stick in many directions.....way more than a wind directional thingy and more like a clearomizer with it's tube off....and OMG(Not the joose) that is a mess of wickin and wirin and well....that be fer another time....ahem.........she is in a state of despair and morosity never before seen on her round these parts and it is horrid............simply ..........horrid.........she then speaks in a sad monotone voice after placing the brown bag tween the legs (after a good long swig an all) and lookin at the Mrs. KY after being introduced by the Mr. KY (hopin that she ain't quite so slow as the Mr. and all)*

Howdy do Mrs. KY nice tah meet cha. Hey KY......why is Ciego all wrapped up in a towel agin? fell overboard agin? Do he know he got dem ..... willows all in hes hair? Howsthins roun these parts whilst I was outta town?.................WHAT?....an esplosin? On the Ciego vention?.......OMG(Yes the joose) is dripped into the atty...........OMG(Not the joose) good thin he is alive......coulda died...D.E.A.D..........yep, dem dare machines ai'n nuttin tah play round wit.................Nah, I ain't tellin wherest I bin. Does't ask where you be goin on dat motorbike does I?

*bonniegirl takes long swig of the brown bottle libations and burps loudly and commences her mumblings*

Dang nail peoples thinkin they is all high falutin wit dare toenails painted seventy colors an all an rushin what color ya wants an a waitin yer turn an always sayin ten minit when askin how long till yer turn and wrigglin dare noses up at site of some folkses feets and talkin all chinee to each udder bout the ones a payin em an all...........wo dey think they is anywho?..........sink dey all important like an all?...........I beat em with chopsticks dey looks at me wrong an when I gits these toenails smaller with a chainsaw and goes back down there I gonna straighten dey eyes fer em. Mssin wit da wrong un this here time.........dey did.

*Suspenseful music plays softly in background as focus is on Bonniegirls eyes lookin all planning and mischief like and a smirk falls over her face*


AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

Orders can be placed tonight at kickbassvapor.com......get ready for the Grand site opening tonight. The site is presently disabled and not yet ready for orders..........................get your nets ready for some fine catches at Kick bass Vapor..................Best Jooses in Town.........
LET US LURE YOU IN!

*notices Bonnie is back on the bottle, wonders if she'll have anything left for the celebration of the site (not sight Ciego) opening tonight*

Thanks Cassie, saved your image and will email it for fixes. I agree and thank you. Every imagine I put or will be putting out is for opinions and or constructive criticism. I have another I'll drop here in a bit, I like the concept but it's certainly one that will need changes and feedback.

KBV is striving to be consumer orientated in every possible way, from great juice, fair pricing, great CS, and good ole plain fun.

I see Bonnie sitting by the campfire looking so well uh bedraggled and sad, I wonder why?

OH dear Bonnie I am so sorry that those people in town didnt see what a lovely girl u really are !

Now then dear u just come back to the secret cabin with me and we will fix u right up ! I was a beautician in my younger days
Oh u didnt know that ? Well yes dear I was , and I promise not to use the hedge trimmer this time either

We will have u lookin fabulous in no time flat uh if i can get the sticks and burs out of your hair before it falls out !
This may take some doing !

Might have to find the limb trimmers for those toenails hmmmm, but it can be done I assure u !

You will be the belle of the old hidey hole hun !!

Afternoon all. Bonnie, ya just take a deep breath and sit yersef down... set ole ms Walker on the stump besideja ... we'll wash yer feet, we'll do yer nails 'n paint em up purty fer ya.... we takes care of our own... no if an's or buts about it. ***takes a pot of water off the fire and pours it into a pan... adds a little sweet smellin' goody stuff along with some bathy salts n sum sudsy makin joose (not the joose).*** you just soakem here for awhile, take a load off and rest a spell. We'll even use a clean towel... not the one that ole Ciego used on his .... um..... self.

KY geneman... didn't know ya'll wanted a sermon.... I does da marryin' n da buryin' n da comfortin' but glad to do to da sermon too ifn ya'll need one. Seems to be da hidey hole n' da starry sky n' da God's bounty of lake n' fishin' n' KBV catches... is sermon enuf. What more needs bein' said when ya got good friends n' KBV n boB n' yssiM all in dis here beeyootiful hidey hole of a sanctuary ... nuf said cept maybe "Thanky Lord!! Thanky fer it all" Course ifn' ya wan a sermon ... I guess I could muster one up.... ***preacher thinks maybe he just did, n should leave wellenufalone***

KY geneman... you is a real geneman. n mrs KY so quickly takes ole Bonniegirl to heart n' hugs n' lovin with the heart. Nice lady must be married to a nice geneman too. Nice t'see.

**thinkin that ole nasty gay...uhm ....game.... warden needs to be nipped in da bud.. with all that talkin' bout fishin license n such... Thinkin' when KBV gets around to printin business cards... they should be a fishin license an be set in each package... so's we get the fishin license with the catch-o-da-day..... from the USPS man... er.... lady.... er person. sure would fix that ole warden (and be a great marketing card as well)***

KBV License to hold da best catch o joose around. Reel em in....

Prolly gonna head on back over to da rocky chair on da porch of da lean-to by the cascade ... after we're done washin' po bonniegirls feet... I'm bad at paintin so ifn' anyone wants to hep out... otherwise... we'll make do.

edit... looks like beautiful mini-art just stepped up whilst I was typin' So nice.... so nice.... Thany Lord for Mini... an everyone here at da hidey
hole........

***Watches Mini guide BonnieGirl off down the trail to her cabin a booing and hooing all the way... Not sure what those folks said to Bonnie, but Mini will make her right. Don't know what us fisherfolk would do without Aunt M ta keep it all together. After a time I hear the booing and hooing fade to screams and cussing... What is Mini doing to her? The distinct sound of a chainsaw fires up from the cabin and The cussing reaches new heights of vulgarity and volume.***

I think Mini's a killing Bonnie in there... Better check this out! Come on Ciego... might need oyu ears!

***We run to the cabin and as we approach, Mini lets out a yell! "BonnieGirl.. I Told you to Hold still! There is a birds nest in your hair!" we creep up to a window reassured that our Bonnie is not being murder and peek through the window to a seen of chaos... Bonnie in a free standing tub up to her neck in bubbles with Mini, both feet planted, yanking an tugging on a comb entangled in Bonnie's...eeerrr... uummm locks. Pliers, chainsaw, hedge trimmers, weed whacker, blow torch, band saw, and other implements of distruct...aaah grooming.

Ciego is a tugging on my sleeve for an description of the events, which in between my spasms of laughter I try to give... A loud yelp and a crash comes from inside Minis cabin and I resume my spying to the scene of Mini laying in a tangle on the floor holding her comb and a mass of hair, curlers, and a birds nest. Bonnie - booing & hooing at even higher pitch is trashing in the water as it was fire... "don;t want no bathing and sprucing or cutting of hair..." on she rambles as Mini continues her minstrations...

Ciego... OMG (not the joose) I think we need to head back to the fire and find us Ms Walker, after seeing that, I think I need some fortifiing.

** Ciego, trying to bellow like Tarzan, comes swinging over the fire, clad in his KBV thong, swinging on a length of rope that has been affixed to a high branch.**

Ah-ee-ah-eeah!!

** Disappears among the ..... willows....**

Ty boB,
I am taking a short break here , that Bonnie is sure a project to fix!! She seems to be a bit too fond of the birds nest and dont wanna let it go! I told her they would hatch and be gone anyway but she dont listen!

Aw well, I got the outhouse and boBs cabin on my avi LOL. Think i will make ole boB a PV case with the outhouse on it so it is conveniently handy all the time for him It could be a multipurpose item, but lets hope he just uses it for its intended purpose!

Now then , how am i gonna get Bonnie out of that tub and lop off those awful nails ???????

*heard from afar in the lil cabin in the hidey hole*

OH Lahd jesus......save me frum dis here suffrin and all.............I bin a good woman and dun gived and gived till I run dry..................booooooooooooo and hooooooooooooooo and sob and sniffle and HONK...........and slobbber and snuffle.................and ouch and ewwwwwwwwwww and oh mah holey mother of God...............hep me ................hep me......................oh..........................woe and boo and another hoo.*

Now Bonnie this wont take a minute , I know scraping the moss off ya hurts a bit , but honest it is for your own good ! It was growin in your ears even FFS!!

Now u just relax for just one minute , we got u a nice clean dress too! No not ms walker, I am sorry to tell u that we lost ms walker in the lake
U will survive one night without her, u have lots of yummie vape ! This is the hidden cabin were boB stashes his joose ya know !

*Bullet drives back to the hidey hole thinking about her wonderful weekend of birthday pampering; parks the pickem up truck and start her walk down the trail singing to herself….”I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty…. and witty…. and bright…. aaannnndd… I pity any girl who wasn’t me last night… I feel charming…oh so….” Her singing stops the moment she reaches the camp fire….”hey, wow…what’s happened around here? Are those……outhouses? Hey Bonniegirl, is that you? You sure do clean up good, your toes look beautimas, I like the color, but you might wanna move your little piggies aways from the camp fire, they’re startin to look like overcooked mini sausages.”

*Bullet sits herself down, reaches into her pocket, pulls out her PV and a sample bottle of Jamaican Ginger Mint. “Fer anyone who hasn’t tried this here Jamaican joose, you need to give it a try maun…it’s great, sooo refreshing. What? Oh, it tastes sorta like a mix between mint and spearmint with a hint of something you wouldn’t think bout…ginger. Oh yea maun, a nice clean refreshing flavor with a tiny hint of ginger. Makes me all tingly and stuff. Give it a try, it’ll grow on you after a while and you’ll find it great for cleansing the pallet after a day of vaping yourself stupid…..I mean silly.” *

*Bullet stretches out on her chair, long legs stretched towards the warm fire and vapes her new favorite flavor. Hey Bonnie, can you allow me to cop a feel of the walker? Thanks, needed that…getting a bit cold tonight….move your stump closer to the fire Bonnie, get warm. Lets get stupid tonight…..” Bullet and Bonnie break into a song…..”We feel pretty, oh so pretty, we feel pretty, and witty……” *

** Still yelling like Tarzan, the pendulum now swings the other way, carrying a nearly-naked Ciego back over the fire.**

Aheeaheeaheeah!!

** Swings too rapidly over the fire, and the momentum carries Ciego face-first into one of the porta-biffos. **

Aw, crap. Literally. Oh, Hiya Bullet! You sure smell purty....well, purtier than this here outhouse, anyhow.

** Unable to control the swing, Ciego now swings back over the fire on his Tarzan "vine," looking more like swinging beef in the back of a jack-knifing ...... (the truck, not the...you know) **

Oh BTW, Pssst! Nobody bother Bob and Missy for awhile. They're taking some family time right now. If I could, I would be their personal gate guard; they need a little breather, and they're watching a moooovie.

** Unable to control the swing and terrified to let go, lest he fall into the fire or onto Bullet's lap, Ciego again swings over the fire. He's hollering like a little schoolgirl, not at all Tarzan-like...**

Waaaaaaah!

*Bonniegirl looks over at Bullet and thinks to herself........Self, she ain't right..she is a singin and talkin all lady dah bout fixin her toes an all and what I bin thru? She ain't right in er haid..........no siree....singin and woopin and wooin an all......dem dare chinee peoples is dang mean tah all dem people..........woner where she got such a smilin good time an all with da feets?..................Mini dun me in reel good......an dat mahchine dat KY Jelly Chris dun usd on me dat dare werent nice I tell ya.........no I ain't feelin pretty and she best git her paws and shiny fingernailin self offa mah bottle uh the Ms. Walker.........
Bonniegirl shifts her eyes sideways like to snear at Bullet whilst bullet is a singin an all and speaks*

Hey Bullet how is Ya..........hey ya looks mitey happy an all.......did ya has ya a nice birfday party an all?....Ain't ya had enuf of the libations fer one night?...........Ya seems all loopty loo and all and well...............happy...........an I ain't had me a good day eider and I ain't much in da mood fer no sangin

<enter mysterious background music...the kind what lets ya know sumpin big is gonna happen..........(1 minute, dripping OMG(YES, the delicious joose)............ok.....yeah, make the music eerie soundin cause Ciego is shure ta do sumpin we is all waitin tah see>

**Bullet watches Ciego swing like a pendulum back and forth. She glances at the camp fire and quickly calculates 2 more swings and Ciego’s gonna come crashing down onto the camp fire burning his .... big time. Bullet quickly contemplates quantum physics in her mind…”Ciego, twist your body to the right… now!...on the count of 3 let go…..” A terrible thought comes to Bullet’s mind, OMG (not the joose) did he hear me?**

** Ciego falls off the rope and lands at the feet of BonnieGirl. **

Oh, hey there Miss Bonnie. How you feelin' now, hon?

** The rope, no longer carrying the overweight Ciego, loops back around and cocks him in the back of the head....**

Ouch!

Aw crap...

Hey Miss Bullet. You got a bit of juice I can vape? I must have lost my bottle of OMG while swinging through the air like a maniac...oh, and BTW, pardon the thong. Couldn't find a thing to wear....

**The cold temperature is evidenced by the shape of Ciego's thong...looks like he just grew a second navel...an inny....he is mildly embarrassed...**

*places binoculars on to look down the hill at lurking folks dyin tah git near the fire for warmth and a good ole fashioned friendly chat*

Howdy there KY Jelly Chris and Gobblerhunter and Lummer and tbaker, Lisa and Ciego ............c'mon.puls yerself up a stump and have some of the bestest joose dare is tah have..............and some fun and a bit of libations and friends...............welcome to y'all, we got room for all at the honey hole...........

*Bonniegirl is hopin that bee Oh Bee sees her tryin to make friends and room fer all cause he said all is welcome at the honey hole and it aint no xclusive clubhouse, no way, no how.......... and well.............BoB looks so mahvelous tonite an all and has the best jooses and well......dem dare lil free sample bottles is always da best jooses and maybe he could throw a few extry this way to show his preciation fer me knowin what he said that all is welcome an all*

** Ciego slips into his KBV running suit and hunkers down by the fire. **

Hey Miss Bonnie, I brought you somethin'.

** He pulls out a liter of Ms. Walker in a black dress and passes it to BonnieGirl. **

Well................a MARINE!
First order of Business: Thank you for your service to our country from bonniegirl and her family.
KBV business............If you like tootsie rolls, Tootsie rolly tastes exactly like it...............TOO BAD for you, though...........all is mine.......................OK, since you serve it is ok to have some.
Every choice you make will be point on to what you think it should be. ie: if you love waffles.......get waffles............if you love cantaloupe..............get it................every flavor tastes just like it is named...............pray you get a sample of WTF..............cause no one can describe it but it is .....WTF? delish...............snickerdoodle cookies? Delish............warm sugar cookie tastes like grandma pulled em outta the oven a moment ago.

Your eyes are your market
Welcome and honored.................................pull up a stump and watch what happens next while we wait for the opening of the online site................kickbassvapor.com


Now back to our regularly scheduled shenanigans..............uhhhmmm.........ahem..........programming

*Bullet looks over to Bonniegirl…”maybe they cut them toe nails a bit too close to the brain of Ms. Bonnie, cause she sure is actin a bit strange towards me…never done nothin wrong towards her…always lookin after her and things…but….something sure is strange here….maybe them curlers in her hair are pulled a bit too tight and it’s makin her brain a bit strange…..hummmm…wonder what’s up? One day Bonniegirl is as sweet as she can be…the next…well…it’s like somethin is within her that shouldn’t be. Hey there Mr. HyOnLyph preacher man, maybe you can exercise Bonnie or something…cause something just ain’t right here. I don’t mean sit ups or stomach crunches….I mean like the exercise… like in the movie or something.
I’ve seen something similar in some government testing in my….ahhhh….past…and I’m thinking and I’m thinking maybe the lame…I mean the game… warden…being all government like and all…has something to do with it….?
First Bonniegirl is fine and friendly and then she’s sailing off the deep end of the lake with Ms. Walker. I know Ms. Bonnie doesn’t have a cruel bone in her little piggies, but something’s just not right at the hidey hole here….wonder if it has anything to do with the ranger….him working for the sly government and all….ummmmm…..*

** Ciego stealthily moves away from the fire, toward the dock. He cautiously removes the handle of his white cane and adjusts a tiny control. **

Headquarters, this is Code Name Squinty. message ears only Nacho Underpants Tuna Concubine Zulu Foxtrap BuckwheatThe MK2Ultra plan seems to be working. Subjects are acting increasingly irrational. Full report at 0430 ...Squinty out.

**Eases quietly into bushes near the .....
willows and slips into his blind ninja garb... He carefully reattaches the handle to his white cane, effectively hiding the combination microtransmitter/receiver/PV unit. Arming himself with a butter knife and a pair of fuzzy dice, he quietly moves around the fishin' hole toward the outhouses...**

~~pinches the game wardens john brown hind parts and runs ~~

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*bonniegirl peers out of the hidey hole tree stump and looks around to see who is around and ses the fire is burning and the coffee is brewing and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and well.....ahem........there is a rainbow and a few butterflies that are............uhhhmmm.........well.........they are pooing glitter and the flowers are so smelly (in a good way) and Ciego is clothed proper an all and things could not be more wonderful here at the honey hole of vapin..........she then thinks aloud (as usual in her mubbly voice*

What is all dem folks a linin up fer at that dare credit cardin mechine? Is dey hevin a sale on sumthin I ain't a heard of?........all dem a talkin bout some puterin and processin and creditin and cardin..........lass time I been a carded at the state store was 1981.............yepper, I member dat day.............that dare woman dun made me a made un she did....askin fer a license an all tah prove I cin be a gittin mah Ms. Walker......why I knowed Ms. Walker way afore she was bornt!..........Imma gonna git outta here and see what all this fussin be bout.

*bonniegirl prepares in the usual manner of bosom stocking with all necessary belongins and crawls out with a brown bag in tow to see what all the fussin is about*

Howdy dare sandy K!! How is mah friend doin?...........WTF?(NO, not the joose, but is a good un).......dey is?........Takin a credit cardin for a license tah git ya a net full of jooses?...............ain't that a fine kettle uh fish dare? .........I know ya is happy an all cause ya was a waitin fer it an all...........OMG(Not the joose but that is a dang good un too) they musta be bout 200 folks a linin up fer dis here licenses tah catch em..............OMG(Not the joose, but is SURELY is a good one)....this here honey hole is gonna be filled tah the gill wif folksa tryin tah git our rare species of jooses an all an the ponds and the lakes and the rivers and the seas'll all need to be stocked up fer any uh us tah git ahr joose...........who dun tole all dese here folks bout this here secret honey hole?...........boy oh boy, sure as George Washington cut down that dare cherry tree an had woodeen teeths...........news do travels fast dohn it? Paul Revere done road inta dah town an tole em all?.............the site?.............Nah Sandy K...........I got me some good site an cin see good............WTF?(Not the joose, but it be comin soon).....a puter sitin? ..........like seein a spaceship?..........no?................oh lahk one dem thangs peoples is a face talkin and match makin an sendin all dem e-tail messagin on?.........OMG(Not the joose).what be happenin tah ahr world here?..........ya mean that folks all way tah the Californey and Boston where dat paul revere dun rode an all cin git on dat dare thang an order up dem some fine catches ah ahr jooses an dem mail folks will takes it to em?...............Dat dare sounds lahk the biggest fish tale I dun heered in my whole tire life....................

*bonniegirl walks away with head going back and forth and chin down and a look of disbelief on her face.........she is thinkin bout how thangs has changed an all and how the good ole days is so far away from now............*

I love the logo. The graphic really is eye-catching.

LOL

Glad to hear the site is up

** Considers advisability of making a "Bob finally got it up..." crack, decides against it...**

Vaping the OMG today. Yum! Glad I got it in a lower nicotine strength; as much as I vape this juice, I'd be poisoning myself if the nicotine strength was even a micorgram higher. LOL I'm serious, I'm like a nursing baby on the Ego with the OMG on the atty.... can't believe it. I've actually vaped through a fully-charged Ego 850 (?) maH battery this morning and had to take out a backup.

Ah, I like this juice!

** Wanders over to the edge of the clearing to say 'good morning' to the lake and the ..... willows...**

***Exhausted from a hard days work, making the stickers that protect dumb people from themselves, so then know NOT to stick their heads in running lawnmowers or go skinny-dipping in a cement mixer. I make my way down the trail back to my beloved Honey Hidey Fish'in Hole... A nice, warm fire, good friends, and a full PV of Caramel Cappuccino ('Cept maybe a few fingers of Mrs Walker)! As i near the campfire, I notice a BIG sign with bright red letters saying: KBV Fishing Season Now OPEN!***

Ahh Heck! When that happen??? Go ta work and come back miss everything...

***Looking around I note a bunch of new face, all with hands full of delicious KBV Joose... OMG (not the Joose)! Mumbling to myslef: Maybe that Lame Warden Dlite was onto someting!!! All these new folks is gonna get all the joose and there won't be none for ME!!!! I wonder up to the fire, looking all hung down, brung down... sad and mopping, and pull up my stump and reach into the hole and grab my own brown bag with a new bottle of Mrs Walker... Pour myself a nice big helping - Sip...Sip...Sip...***

Now wait a minute... That ain't the Honey Hidey Hole way! We welcome all comers...Share and share alike! boB & yssiM will take goooooddd care of us fisherfolk. All this means is new friend around the campfire and more fun for everyone!

***Feeling much relieved (Mrs Walker has that effect), I settle down to take a look around the fire and see all the nice folks there... Reaching in my hole for a fresh bottle of Joose, I feel a piece of Paper. Pulling it out I see written on an envelope "KY".***

Wonder what this is?

***wanders into the clearing near the hidey hole while muttering to sel.......


"Auntie M! Auntie M! There's no place like home...There's no place like home..."

***Continues vaping coffee. Not that fancy schmancy place that you find mixing espresso with fluffy milk. You know the one, "Give us all of your bucks"? No, this coffee is like going home to the country to visit your dad and he has a fresh pot of coffee to greet you the next morning to wake up to. You take it like you took it for years before discovering coffee that required a second mortage...black, no milk or cream, and no need to put sugar in it to hide the taste of the milk. Just right...***

***looks around to see if anyone sees her talking to herself and thinking that she's crazy. Wouldn't matter anyway. Wonders who the "pole cat" was that sent the Auntie M knowing that's exactly how she takes her coffee.***

"Now don't get me wrong. I sure do appreciate it. I'll just have to be more careful for what I ask for, because addiction is the name of the game."

*Maisri comes panting through the woods, ducking under bushes and stumbling over logs...* I've GOT to find some sanity. Get me away from Monday ...... at work. Little ol' Maisri is jus tryin' to insure all you non-drivers out there. Doncha worry none, when you crack up that car, I'll be here to make sure it gets fixed...you know, "good neighbor" and all that. No...you won't find a hot tub in your kitchen or a hot dude on your car, but Geeezus people, work with me here!

*Hoping for some relief from the struggles of the day, Maisri fill up her Ego with some of that OMG (the joose) and inhales deeply* OMG!! (not the joose), that's just what I needed.

*Finally reaching the campfire and those familiar KBV fisherfolk, Maisri realizes that if it's sanity she's looking for, she ain't gonna find it here!!* These folks are plum nutz! But they have such good taste in joose, and they're always lookin' to have some fun. This kinda crazy is a nice diversion.

What is this?....what have we here?....WTF?! (not the joose), it's a sample of WTF (the joose)!! Yippee and OMG (not the joose) this stuff is AWESOME! Can't quite figure out what I'm tasting here. It's kinda tastes like jellybeans...and vanilla?! Very interesting and oh, so good! WAY TO GO boB!! It's a hit with me!

I'm a little fearful of "Missy's Rattletrap", but I'm brave, I'm bold, and I'll definitely give Missy's Rattletrap a go (the joose)! ...and if it comes from boB I know it's gonna be good>

*Maisri finally relaxes on her log with a thick vapor swirling around her head* WTF, ya know?! ...just WTF!

To: Sneaky Underhanded Projects Authority
Washington, District of Columbia

Eyes only: ChrisKY Codename : "Jelly"

You asked publically about the new quote-unquote "PV" that I was designing. I'm afraid your indiscretion may have tipped our Chinese competitors to our design plans. I myself was less discreet than I might have been in the KBV Ordering And Speculative Fabulation thread on ECF. But that's as they say, water under the dock.

It is imperative that from here on out, we keep this between ourselves and of course, 'Madame X..

I'm afraid that my health and welfare may be in peril. Foreign agents have already tried to sanction me with such evil devices as "The Thong Remains the Thame," "Attack of the not-so-placid possums, the Outhouses of Doom and of course...man-eating .....
willows. In case they get me, Chris, it's up to you to construct the PV to be named

* The writing Ciego suddenly runs face first into writer's block. **

Ouch and aw, crap...


um, as I was saying...to be named... ah, er... Armageddon Nicotine Use System...ANUS for short.


Here's the basic design.

A 30 amp Astron variable output DC power supply, mounted in a standard EIA width rack. This thing will produce enough current to *smelt* a common, even a HR atty.

The atomizer stage is built on an ignition coil from a 1974 Chevy Vega. The wick will be hand-spun nichrome wool.It'll be Costly, but it should glow like Marie Curies forehead by the time we stoke it with the Astron.
Because of electrical field concerns, bottom-feeding is not an option. I suggest a 1 quart food-grade plastic reservoir and a recycled sump pump, nozzle-pressurized into a fine, dense mist over the coil.

Compression of the vapor will be accomplished through the use of a recycled Conair hairdryer fan to pump the vapor into the gas mask assembly.

Now, you posed an interesting question. You wondered aloud what it might be like to vape as a blind person. I've added a feature that will make this experience available to everyone.

When the PV is activated, a low output 532 nm. green laser dazzler (used in place of the traditional LEDat tip or button) will flash just long enough to give you a 30 second ride.

In preliminary computer models, the ANUS-PV consumed 3 ml. per second, thus consuming a 30 ml. bottle every 10 seconds. Therefore, the device includes a 10 second cutoff.

Additional accessories might include a drink holder, Ipod dock, flat-panel HDTV with Blue Ray player, foot massager/shoe polisher. .

Keep this plan safe, Chris. If "The Man" ever finds out about this PV, or if our Asian friends learn of it...it could mean something pretty bad.

Okay, I'm out. I think I hear that Wolf in J. Edgar Hoover's clothing roaming in the bushes...don't want to be observed sending this from my WhyPhone...

** Hits <send>*

"sssshhhhhh" Not saying a word about this, Ciego, but there's been a leak in your intel. My "Jelly-man" is ON IT! ...btw: you left out the kick start and a THROTTLE!

"The Thong Remains the Thame"!! So glad to see a fellow Led Lover on here, too!! Rock-on, DuDE!

*hops up in the bark o lounger since Missy's not around to shoo him down and watches folks, laying his head on his paws*

* steps out onto the porsche.... uhm ..... porch .... after an afternoon of hunckerin' inside to avoid the harsh southern california weather...currently a freezin 56 deezgreez above sea level !!??. bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr.

That ole wolfatthedoor dun huffed and puffed and blew my dang door off.. then rolled hisself up in the beautimus yssiM's bark-o-lounger....but it actually improved the view. I heard chimeny55's cries and been prayin' up a storm (figuratively speaking, of course, but pun intended) for the nasty weather fer you folks whose be waitin' on the USPS person to bring yer catch o KBV joose... all dressed n wrapped n ready to vape.

also heard the cries for that wonerful ole bonniegirl to get some excercise... not sure if ya'll want TyBo or Yoda or a little Tie cheap.(but bonnie's had it ruf with the chinalady at the say-lon) .... or... good ole Jackie La Lanne feller... cept'n he's passed on to a better place n all... bonniegirl looks ta get plenty o excercise with the walkin hither... and walkin yawn (guess that's when ye aint slept much) n generally just gittin round the hidey honey hole of a fishin spot. Thinks I'll jes let sleepin dogs lie..(not that ole wolfatthedoor)

Eyein the bigger-n-blazez-vapin-bass-fishy that's bein looked at for the website.... that's serious creative and cool lookin'

hmmmm gonna head on down to the fire and set a spell. Bringin a little Buttercreme Icing n Caramel Cap for desert.

anyone know a contractor feller.... I'm in desparate need of a door.... (notice the bridge I bilt t'get me over t' the hidey fishin hole n KBV stocked lake. bilt it m'self if I do say so....)

***Peering out the cabin window into the near blinding snow, I see boB loading packages into a old flat bottom aluminum boat which he appears to have converted into a dog sled... .... attached to Joosey Claus's sled is no team of reindeer. boB has attached all manner of critter to pull his sled. A stray cat, a couple of tree rats, few of the opposum posse, a goat (not sure where he got that one), a chiuaua and to lead the pack - Wolfatthedoor! He rigged his harness using old nylon stringers and fishing line and even one of yssim bras....***

He's going to get himself killed! This is no weather for joose delivering, no matter how delicious it is! boB!!! Your gonna kill yourself....

Through the howling wind I her him reply "The Joose MUST Flow" and with a cravk of his whip, he prods his team into motion... Down the trail towards town, and I heard him explain... as he drove out of sight... "This frigging weather is NUTZ!" (what did you expect??? He's not Santa..."

** Ciego stumbles back into his own cabin after shoveling a pile of snow off its roof.**

Whew! I'm colder than my last girlfriend's refusal to "meet me at the backdoor," if you know what I mean...

Vaping the OMG somehow makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.

** Hunts for the brandy.**

Brandy, you're a fine girl...
What a good drink, you will be!
Yeah your fumes will add some flavor...
To my tea....


** Gets online and goes to RealDoll again....**

*curls up in the bark o lounger* can I come inside, or do I need to stay out here in the cold?

<insert prologue like symphony music with a natural born broadcasting voice of soundness and a bit of "Walton Mountain" type hominess as narrator tells the audience more about the character Bonniegirl>


*Bonniegirl is hunkered down in the big ole Kate Hepburn Oak stump with a cozy moss covering.....she is in and out of sleep and awakens to vape a few pulls and slips off into a non-rem sleep.........she talks in her sleep about her youth and a smile widens upon her windburned face and sunbathed leathery skin.........a mole.....not the attractive Marilyn Monroeish type but the old lady in the shoe type.sticks out of her right cheek with two jet black hairs three inches long tethered to it for life ...........is obvious that at one time she was a "looker" but now she is a "Looker away." Time and misery and sadness and well..........ahem.............just life on lifes terms has been hard and all..........she is a conundrum of a human..........warm and cold hearted, smart as a whip and dumb as a doornail, witty as Diller and stoic as an old Jewish Grandmother when one misses synagogue or breaks tradition and dates a non-jew or a Catholic grandmother leering at your McDonalds burger you were enjoying and forgetting it is friday and it no longer tastes as swell as before. She is a ruiner, a party pooper and a breaker of her own rules. She is the one to wag the finger at those who tell tales and then lies to the landlord about a sad illness or death in the family when the rent is overdue. She is a hearty soul, though. A loyal friend to the end and she values her honey hole. She is happy with what she has and does not pine for what she does not have. She pitches in and pokes fun and is an all around pretty good egg or at least (as far as egg eating goes).........edible to creatures if not to humans..........(They say animals stomachs are stronger and IDK(Prolly not a joose) who or WTF(A dang good joose) THEY are. But, The THEY people seem to know a bit about all and a lot about everything.
Her youth, her youth. The fat kid on the block. The egg head ruining the curve for the grading. The one without a date for dances and taunts followed her every step. Bullied is a small word to describe the terror of her youth. Everyone wanted to hit her or tease her or make themselves the class clown at her expense. Teachers loved her and her singing voice in the church choir was that of an angel, albeit a chubby one.......but an angel none-the-less. All that was before the cigarettes at age 13. The cigarettes never teased her and much like food filled the place others gutted out of her. Those empty holes, the caverns of her youth. And now, she is , once again, in a hole. But this time, it is a hole of her choosing.*

<close-up after wide screen to Bonniegirl and hear her sleep talking and ramblings, Ms Walker in left hand and PV in right and bosom loaded with KBV jooses>

Hey fatty boy...........lookie here at me now.........I ain't a fatty and you is and I ain't even gonna LOL(YES, a good joose....keep watchin) at ya...no way, no how, I ain't a meanie........anywho you prolly has a tenny other thang an all an that ain't fat and you is hurtin yerself good nuff anywho. Yooo Hoo smarty SUH MAN THA.what happen ta yer cheerleadin self ......lahddy dah you was an look at cha now..........butterball commercials has peoples that looks lahk ya on dem, I seed em...........is you hodin sumpin in dem fat chippymunks cheeks?.........*Boy dat gerl dun blowed up lahk a tic on a big dog*..........Yoo Hoooooooo Mr. HYMEN........boys gym teacher wid a name lahk dat?.........*Bonniegirl has a fit of laughter that is heard all over the honey hole*

*giggling, LOL(soon....I tell ya) and a happiness beyond anthing heard from Bonniegirl is heard and all stare at one another around the fire wonderin is she loosing it all.*well, the last few she had left anyway*.....or is she just a happy soul?*

<music of an eerie wait to see what happens next is playing in the background and is cheesy but certainly in the vein of the novella style of tragedy, drama, lust and comedy>

(camera fades to black)


Pass the popcorn and a few marshmallows to toast..........this is gonna get good..can't wait to see what is really going on with Bonniegirl and will Ciegos plan for the best biggest PV come thru and is Warden DLite a good guy or a bad guy.........will KY Jelly and his wonderful wife be the spoiler of Ciegos plan or is he involved? Wolf atthedoor is really warmin Missy's lap or is he like spongebobs nemesis Plankton tryin to steal the secret recipe for the jooses......all next on the KBV Novella.................

And now a word from our sponsor..................

**Ciego says a little prayer for all who are affected by this winter storm. Be safe, y'all. **

Hey! Despite the weather, I just gt a package!

"Acme Costume, Uniform and Fetish dot Com finally delivered.

** Pulls out immense fluffy bunny suit...**

It's down-filled and made of Gortex and fake wabbit fur. Said in the online catalog it was warm to minus 35 degrees.

**Admires cotton tail and big fluffy bunny feet. Tries on hat/ears for size. **

Jest call me harvey....

** Hops out front door of cabin and into a four-foot deep drift, wallows and gets to his oversized bunny feet. Carges across the snow... goes face-first into the .....
willow....again. **

*scratches head and wonders if Ciego is supposed to be the Energizer or Playboy bunny* ......... Bout time ya put something warm on Ciego had to be a nit biply for the thong" ......... *slips a lil on what he though was ice but turns out to be KY (the jelly)*

"Ordering will not stop. Between the weather and the ordering we will be using the 96 hour turn around time announced on the site upon launch"

Passerbyus..............I got some KBV bar.............*Shhh......no tell anyone*...........I will share with ya............it is 12 mg.........and I can share a bit till is in stock.....................*shh....no let this get out*.................I got a stash of KBV everthing................and I is nice and I shares..........................PM me an addy and I help ya out................I will...........sorry, I ain't got no stones.........Uhhhmmm...........skippin stones...............yeah, the skippin kind...........elsen I woulda helped you out too silk..........livin in a place with so many letters an all, cain't say I is sorry for not havin tah write all ah dem letters in that new YorK place ah yours and sorry ya has no stones atm...............the skippin kind I mean...........

Mush ! Mush ! Think the mailman with boBs supplies is having to resort to dog sled to get to his house at this point!

boB it may help if u put a bowl of dogfood on the front steps so they will go faster to bring your stuff to make the wonderful jooses !

Seein that the planes are grounded and all , and the snow keeps a gettin deeper there.

Come to think of it , I cant seem to get the cabin door open for the snow blocking it now , hmmmm hope i am not stuck here til spring now . Might run a bit short on groceries.

What the heck am I seein? A very large man in a bunny rabbit suit wandering through the hidey hole in the snow!! I must have had a mite too much Ms Walker with Bonnie last night !! Thinkin I will just go back to bed a while !

Passerbyus.......did not want to passerbyyou.......LOL at self and very unfunny funny.................

IMO...................I would rather wait for my joose than let unempress hands touch my jooses. Hire other folks to mix the secret recipes?...................why we would have a full out Plankton gettin the crabby patty recipe and MUTINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO....................IMHO...............the reason many vendors were so Very very good at start up and are now inconsistent is the hiring of people that have no stake or care in the jooses they mix. Bob...............Keep it simple, mix yer own and let us all wait..........................don't change a thing.............not a single thing................no let anyone touch my Tootsie...................................................EVER.........................NEVER............................


just sayin my piece.......................of...................well................my piece.

I happen to know from a little birdie that there are no menthol crystals or menthol liquid in that joose.....things is gettin curious and curioser ain't they?


Same lil birdie done told me not only TA makes the tobacco flavoring in that there joose...now things is gettin really curiouser



And now a lil song for our KY Jelly Friend from kentucky
sang to the tune of pop goes the weasel

All around the hidey hole fire
KBV is all a buzzing
and all is plannin a birthday cake
Fer KY Jelly's party

We'll all dress up
and have a drink
and thank the God above
And pray with all our might you see
That Ciego keeps his clothes on

Ms. Walker will wear her finest dress
Glenlivet will be present
and vape until our minds go poof
then open up the presents

There will be Caramel Capp
and certainly OMG
WTF and LOL
and all the vapes he needs

So Happy Birthday Chris KY
a slippery friend indeed
the hidey hole would be less fun
without you here you see

So help us have some more fun
and keep the fire a goin
and KBV is better by far
Fer Chris Ky we knowin

Happy Birthday to the finest fire makin, Warden huntin, Ciego savin, State Store runnin, scotch swillin, KBV supportin, LOL postin, motorbikin ridin, friend KBV ever did git.

Glad ta call ya my friend....Hope you git all joosed up fer yer big day



If you would like to be a part of this sweet friendly neighborhood, pull yerself up a stump and have a fine vape of the best joose ever made at kickbassvapor.com

Pass the popcorn, this should be gettin good with Ciego keepin his clothes on and all and the party a comin and all the fun and well.........a mystery or two.

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes.... LOL (not the joose)!

Thanks for the song BonnieGirl, you are a true poet! I have the best gift anyone could ask... Great friends new & old! What more can anyone ask? and on that note.... The Novella continues!

Novella Volume 69...

***A bundled up figure wades through the snow drifts and the dense snow fall heading toward the cabin near the Honey, Hidey Hole... On his back a giant pack and behind him he pulls a sled of fire wood and packages. Coming to the door, we see it is ChrisKY hazarding the blizzard for supplies. Entering the cabin, he pulls off his pack and starts to unload on the table.***

Lets see... 6 Mrs Walkers for BonnieGirl... 6 Mr Glen for me... Some packages of supplies for our benefactors boB & yssiM, even some new harness for the Opposum sled... a new flea collar for Wolfatthedoor... new prayer book for HyOnLyph... 3 packs of Thongs for Ciego... Some handcuffs for the Lame Warden Dlite OMG! (not the joose). Some blankets and mittens for SandyK, Sky, Matafact and the rest of the gang, plus a load of food stuff, attys, and cartos to get us through this blizzard. Shoooo - That was a haul!

The cold must have been getting to me... I could have SWORN I saw a bunch of giant rabbit tracks in the snow and something big has been crashing through the ..... willows.

Now, got to hide my joose... don't know when I am gonna get more if the fixings don't make it through to boB and yssiM after this is gone... Lets see... I am gonna hide it under this pile of fire wood. No one will look for it there...

***In the window, a shadowy figure can be seen peering inside as KY hides his stash under the firewood***

OK... let get warmed up and get to delivering these here supplies... If BonnieGirl runs out of Mrs Walker there will be hell to pay and if yssiM gets flea bit in the .... cause Wolfatthedoor gots fleas and his in her Barkolounger ain't no one getting no joose.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69 Page 69 paragraph 6969.........*Well, more than one person can read at a time*

<Camera focuses in rustling in ..... willows and a white large object behind it............panning over to the ole hollow oak stump with bonniegirls' curlers appearing over the hole and obvious disarray around the stump in the form of empty bottles of Ms. Walker, KBV Joose, empty cherry chapstick containers, a few cans with lids pried open and hanging on by half measure and bent back....*labels say beans, bean soup, lentils, lentil soup, ham and bean soup and collard greens*.......tis obvious from the appearance of the stump area there has been a ruckus of sorts as there are large footprints about 18 inches in length and having four toes and pads............pan in for face shot.*not that side with the mole, the good side ya idjits*.....Bonniegirl smirks and looks away>

*speaking aloud to self*

I knowed that dare Ms Walker ain't so powerin tah make a woman dun seed a big wabbit here at dah hidey hole........was a size uh a bear and had dem floppy ears wit da pink in da middle an all an I knows it was real cuz I gots a few uh dem hairs in mah teeths ah tryin tah git holt uh im tah show all dah hidey holed folks I ain't a crazy one whence I tells em whatta happen here tahday. He was a sneerin at me ...............he was...........*lookin lahk that dare face on dah mad magazines we got when we was youngins an all.......................hhmmmmmmmm.......Imma thenkin dat dare warden is up to his no good beady ways an all...................shure enuf cold and all.....an dis iceydicey slippery *Not the KY guy...the ice*......will make a woman fall on er keyster............an dat will be a hard sing tah take .............what with the arthur itis and the bones a crackin aready..........gonna stay raht cheer an keep warm an trah ah stayin away frum dat dare giant wabbit an all an keepin mahself safe from the icin*Not the joose..dat dare is buttercreamin dis in is woman creamin*........Yepper............yesssssirrreee...........Imma stay raht cheer an stay warm an all.............

*Bonniegirl notices the Ms. Walker is empty and her thirst overcomes her and she crawls out after the usual bosom filling of necessities * Please spare us all the details this once cause it is cold an all* and crawls outta the hole.....stands and scrunches face to show the achin of the bones and a few gas expulsions from the other end of the pie hole.*Well, look at her diet, need any more explainin?*

*Speaking aloud to self as usual*

Self, Well, now dat feels a lot gooder............Better out dan in, my grannypa always sayed..........Who all around that dare fire?................I be dey is all gittin ready fer a party an all............OMG*Not the joose* it is dat dare KY boys Birfday partyin an all an WTF(Not the joose) am I a gonna givem fer a present?...........I knows, I use the old, Oh I lef it home an I give it tah ya next time I sees yah................yeah....dat always werks reel good.................

*Bonniegirl joins crowd forming at the hidey hole fire ring and sits upon a mossy stump an all and says a howdy to all around*

Howdy all.........................hey KY...............yah slippery slow pokin Kentucky boy..........happy birthin day......how is ya?
Hey whats fer wettin a whistle at dis here party an all?...I was jest a wonderin cause I fergot mah bottle back at dah hole.

<cheesy mystical...she's tellin a lie music plays in background as we await the response>

Pass the marshmallows please Bullet? Imma needin a warm comfortin for this story cause dare isa large wabbit in dem woods an all.

oh an preacher HY.............AMEN on dat.................AMEN

*Bullet passes Bonniegirl some marshmallows…”Bonniegirl you gotta stop talking ….bout you and Ms. Walker seeing some big bear size wabbit. There was a guy who kept seeing a wheely, wheely, big wabbit called Harvy. Folks thought he was crazy and looney tones and put him away…with everyones we have here at the hidey, we sure don’t need any men in white coats coming our way.” Bullet starts feelin a bit strange…as if someone or something is watching her behind…from behind…she turns her head and sees something big, furry, and white running away into the trees….*

well.............I musta misses that un...........dat dare is a mitey fahn piece of musicks..............dem is shure good friends an all an I am so Glad dat Cletus were dare tah hep him hook dat un...............weren't at big though were it?................*hic.........hic.....hic.....dang hics..........hic*..........hey bt dat dare guitar man Mark cin play it fer us at da party......where he be at dese days? Ain't seed him fer a month oh Sundays.

Been feelin' watched m'sef all day. What with the door bein' gone an all. That ol' wolfy huggin... uh .... huffin n puffin.... n never did fix er.
Bullet. I'm thinking I knows the wabbit youse talkin bout on the ol' Harvey guy... but not the looney toons.... that's a difernt wabbit altogether. That be Bugs n he had a wolfy (coyote really... same ting?) n a duck n a piggy n a .... well, guess you could say he had his own hidey hole spot. nothin good as this tho. I brung some ButterCreme Icing for deezert n a little Strawberry Pie to pass around. Fires stoked n alls welcome.

**It's cold enough to freeze Ms. Walker's kilt off...**

Whew! Glad this bunny suit is as flexible and easy to move in as it is warm.... I think Bonnie left teeth-marks to the left of my puffy, fluffy tail.

*Tries a few test hops, and begins singing at the top of his wabbit lungs....**

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday you <expletive>
Happy Birthday to You!

**Gives Chris KY Jelly a Bunny Salute, and hippity-hops off toward the back side of the outhouses, hoping to sneak up on Silver Bullet....**

Waa-aa-aaah! I can't find my OMG, OMG!

**Realizes that his outburst has removed any real chance of surprise...not to mention the big floppy ears....**

Up early this morning vaping that delicious KBV OMG (the joose), OMG! (not the joose) I hear something in the trees above my head...OH NO! Look out Ciego! Not the .....
Willow, again! OUCH! That's gonna hurt!
View attachment 29058

** Ciego peers out of a snowdrift. Dressed as he is in a XXL-size pure white bunny suit, he is virtually invisible. If not for a tiny waft of sweet-smelling vapor rising from the snowbank, there is no sign of life...**

Ah! My li'l wabbit nostwils twitch at the awoma of KBV joose.... It is dee-wishus....

** Twitches cute little bunny nose, then passes some gas, causing more vapor to rise from the snowdrift....**

You know what's invisible and smells wike cawwots?

Bunny farts.......

** He burrows into the snow, hoping he can keep his atty free of snow and ice. **

Interesting vaping experiment today. I had a carto, some kind of fruit flavor, don't remember and it tasted like not much of anything. I decided to just use it as a glorified atty/dwip tip. I've been dripping KBV Peaches and Cream into the carto all day (sealed PV connector, of course), and have been vaping at 5 volts (passthru).

Holy Ned! This juice takes on a sort of "peachy purity" at higher voltage. I'm getting less cream, bu the peach flavor absolutely POPS. It's fantastic.

Now, don't tell me I'm gonna have to run out and spend mo' money on a high-voltage mod?

** Burrows deeper into the snow drift....**

That's exactly what I'm talkin' 'bout, Chris. This is worse than being a keyboard player and trying to keep up with the latest gear. Or maybe like ham radio. Or maybe like being addicted to diacetyl-flavored crystal.... I just went to Liberty Flights and thought I heard my credit card screaming at me from my wallet.... No! Don't do it!"

I think I'll just stick with my PT and a 2 amp. wall wart. For now. Of course, there's that contest now going on in PIF...they're giving away a Bonzo mod... Hmmm...

** Ciego hippity-hops over to his cabin and quickly sheds the bunny suit, replacing it with a warm parka worn over Carhart bibs and Moon Boots.

Here's today's fun fact: Did you know that the expression "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" has nothing to do with metal primates nor their genitalia?

The monkey was a rack used to deliver cannon balls to gunners on battle ships in the 18th and 19th centuries. The monkey, a rack and conveyor system, was more often than not fashioned from brass, which could become cold and brittle with extremely low temperatures. Sometimes it would get so cold that the metal rails of the monkey would snap, allowing several heavy cannon balls to go rolling all about the ship's deck. Hence, it was pretty serious if it got cold enough to freeze the balls off your brass monkey...

And that story makes me want to try Monkey Bread.
Aw, crap! I already have about a quart of KBV juice to vape before I can order anything else.

Our next discussion will involve comparisons between freezing temperatures and either the posterior of one who excavates wells, or perhaps the mammalian protrubrance of a practitioner of Wicca in a supportive undergarment made of brass...

*wishes he could get caught up on the funnies and hopes he didn't miss anything more important than Ciego passing gas?*

Here's where we're at with inventory. I've been watching a bottle shipment 300 miles away not move for 3 days. It just updated and said it resumed shipping. I am hesitant to put up what limited inventory we have prior to those bottles being IN HAND.

I say limited because over 1/2 of the out of stock flavors, the candy bar and OMG (yes the joose) I can run 10 or so ounces of and it'll be right back out again. I will do that until next week when nearly everything will be fully stocked. I will also add the Bogart tobacco back to the inventory when the bottles arrive.

*removes clothes pin from nose from "odorless" bunny fart"

Good Friday morning Hidey Hole Fisherfolk! For Ciego's benefit, I'm reposting the picture from yesterday with a brief description of it's content....it's literally a white rabbit smacked up against a tree! Which, under normal circumstances wouldn't strike me as that funny, but because of the giant white rabbits recent escapades and recurrent encounters with the .....
willow, I saw this and came unglued!

You realize that this means.... (*dramatic orchestra music*) We fisherfolk at the Hidey Hole are under surveillance! OMG (not the joose), I'm pretty sure it's that Lame...ur...gay...ur Game Warden trying to get intell on your A.N.U.S, Ciego!

(Armageddon Nicotine Use System)

...and he's trying to discover where the stash of joose is! This could be bad. Pass this on and be on your best behavior. Thar's cameras in these here woods!!

Novella Volume 69, Paragraph 6969

***Crouching in the snow, I examine the trail of giant bunny tracks heading into the snow covered forest....***
.
I got you now you washally wabbit.. HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH! With my trusty Wabbit Whacker 3000 I'm gonna have fried wabbit for dinner.
.
***I tip-toe into the woods following the trail... alert to any site, sound, or smell. Through trees and shrubs... over hills and through valleys, I come to the banks of the lake and the Grove of the .........willows!***
.
Ah HAH! Thats where the vawmit is hiding... I cannot believe Ciego has not encountered the best if it lives in here. Now I need to be wery, wery quwiet.... I'm hunting giant wabbits HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH!
.
***Slipping between the ........Willows, I follow the trail to a thickett and in the distance I spy the monster bunny setting in a snow bank. ***
.
What is that cwazy vawmit doing?
.
***I raise the Wabbit Whacker 300 to my shoulder and draw a bead on his little cotton tail... ssslllloooowwwwllllyyyy squeezing the trigger... Before my eyes I see a small cooud of vapor come from that cotton tail - Wabbit Farts, but then a much larger cloud of vapor comes from his head! I drop the Wabbit Whacker back to Safe and lower my weapon to peer closer...***
.
Wabbits don't vape! What the... A Bunny in a Thong (NOT the Playboy kind), and not just ANY thong, but a black silk KBV thong...
.
***I rise from my hiding spot and slowly walk towards our assumed giant wabbit... as I draw near I catch a whiff of KBV Candy bar and carrots***
.
CIEGO!!! What the hell you think you are doing... I almost shot you for dinner ya big fool!
.
***Startled, Ciego the Bunny bolts straight into a ........Willow***

** Munching a carrot.**

Yeah....what's up, Doc?

Hey Kwiss.... I mean, Chris... How's it hangin'? Oh, the bunny suit... I just thought I could be Bonnie's "wake-up call." If she starts seeing giant bunnies, she might presume that she's getting the D.T.'s, and maybe will lay Ms. Walker
down for a spell... Also, since it's not wabbit season, I'm relatively safe...I hope...from hunters carrying around Bushmaster .223 M-16 clones....

** Digs into giant pink bunny purse that appears as if by magic...**

Now if you want a "real" man's weapon, check this out....

** Pulls out .50 caliber B.A.R. **

This puppy will split hares...er, hairs.... Got a suppressor, bipod, 60 round box magazine, green UltraDazzle green laser sight and an Ipod!

** Using the sniper skills of Stevie Wonder, Ciego lifts the heavy rifle to his shoulder, aiming directly toward one of the two outhouses.....**

To be continued...

** Using the sniper skills of Stevie Wonder, Ciego lifts the heavy rifle to his shoulder, aiming directly toward one of the two outhouses.....**

Ciego, NO! I'm in BOTH of those outhouses! (Was it the wasabi?)

<Camera close up on Bonniegirls weary face. It is quite obvious she is tired, weary and down right de---pressed.....a tear falls from her left eye, down the cheek and onto the chin dimple which looks like a plumbers crack when bent over. The tear then falls into the zipper line on her chest...*well she did have the "BIG ONE" and get the cracked chest thing and all*....and into the recesses of her voluminous bosom.>

<Camera pans out to view the stump of the Kate Hepburn Oak tree with the hole with only bright fluorescent pink curlers showing in the hole. The usual mess of garbage is present...*OK< I will spare the details....lots of beans and all and bottles of empties*....>

*Bonniegirl is singin to herself and as usual it is not the least bit melodic or even the tiniest bit enjoyable. The singin could well be equated to a wolf howlin at the moon crossed with a pig squeelin and a baby getting it's first shots. It is horrid and has a morose tone*

Swing low sweet harriet...*Yeah, she don't know the words too good*....comin fer tah carried me home.........swing low sweet harriet......comin fer tah carried me home...........Nobody knowed the troubles I seen .....nobody knowed the sorrows..........nobody knowed the troubles I seen .......Boo, Hoo...........sob and sniffle........shcluck, snuff, sniffle...........another boo and a hoo and woe is me.............*Bonniegirl pulls tail of flowered house dress with two pockets up and uses the tail as a hanky and very UN-dainty like blows her voluminous nose into it*

*mumbling is overheard by the reader/watcher/lurker.....*

I knowed that weren't no wabbit ........wabbits is small an all an I knowed they ain't a changed the Ms Walker recipe dat much an all tah make me be a seein a wabbit fatter dan Santy Clause hisself. I bin a good womans an all an I ain't a hurt a single solitarior person in my whole -EN--tar life...........I ain't......an now I be a haunted bah dis here hulongous wabbit an all..........comin here an a peekin in mah hole.*The stump yah dirty mahnded folks*........He dun marred and ruint mah safe hole here, he did, an he was a sneerin and a pokin at me ...*The fun, not the stick, ya dirty mahnded ones* I bin a nice wun roun dese parts....dohn I shared the Ms Walker all roun here? Dohn I stokin dah fahr a time er two? Dohn I share mah joose wid all uh dem an sen em when dey needs it?...........Deer Jesus......*Looking toward the heavens through the ..... willows*.......why?...............Why?.................Why does yah sen me a big wabbit?............Why dear Jesus?...........Imma gonna go an fine me dah preacher man Hy an a askin him why..........he will knowed why cause he is a preacher man an all an the preacher mans always is a knowin the whys and the hows and the whos an all..........

*Bonniegirl arranges her belongings in her bosom as usual *say an Amen, she will not list it all*.....and crawls out on her venture toward the preacher man Hys cabin*

Howdy do dare slyfox, wolfatthedoor and basement cat....ya'll had yer vittles fer the day?...........off tah do me some bizness here this fahn day..............Hey dare Mr KY (Not the jelly, the man and maybe a jooses?) and dah Mrs. nice motorbikes ya got dare..........hey bullet me ole friend and sandy K.(Not the special K Joose, the woman)........OMG(Not the joose) How is you doin Ciego, dat be a nice .uhmmm..............well...........is dat dare a shoestring up yer ....?........*Mumbles to self..........dat one dare is crazier dan a bed bug, he is.......blind is one thing but he ain't got no sense, what wid a shoestring in his dare .... crack an all*..Ya'll has a nice day now, I is on some bizness............HEY, well, If it ain;t bee Oh Bee hisself, MY but you is a studly specimin uh a man you is, you is lookin so manly an all an you looks mahvelous *Hope tah God he buys this here load of carp*.....Toodle loo, I got me some bizness tah takes care uh......ya tell the Mrs. Missy I send mah best an all an tah watch out fer dah fleas, party tole me dat wolf had dah fleas an all..........

*Bonniegirl attempts walking straight toward the cabin of preacher Hy and it is a nice zig zaggy pattern but she is determined and stern in her motion*

Now can ya pass the marshmallows to warm on the fire, this here Novella is gettin good.........Imma have me some good caramel capp this fine vapin day,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,aaahhhhhhhh, Now this is livin...............

Whoa, ChrisKY... good thing ya didn't shoot. The ACME Wabbit Whacker 3000 woulda done 'im in fer sure. How'd you get that thing up to yer shoulder? I thought it was trailer mounted.... Dude, you must be Rambo....

How my 1st MO neighbor met me:
"Walygonnaneedyusumtursingseethwutergonnawarshthsoyoffifyadonttursovrthayre.kinyadig?cuzigotsomboysthrcanlaysomtursupnthatend,seethisahollerstillebnthoweupsomanthewutergonnawarshofffysoyferlongiffnyudunnturs..."

also, from a guy about 8 feet tall, also first day on the land, lyrically:
"walseeiseenmealilhummbrdinthmeddertadayjusskiminritealong...anisayswellthattherpurdyhummbrdmusbethernewpeople'sliddlgrlansoijusstoppinintaseefshelikewunthesecookieseartheyastillwormnrightgudyubetterhavwuntooyaskinlilthingaincha?"

Rolled together so fast I just looked at him like the idiot that I am.
(Translation contest, while we wait for our joooooce.) I am procrastinating on things i should be doing right thru this day off.

OK...here is the start of my translation.....

They got some boys to lay some tarps.......and well want some of these warm cookies? They are really good when they are warm right from the oven.... and the rest inbetween?...........well..............sounds like talkin to Bee Oh Bee Hisself on the phone

nuff said

The Big Mizzou (sp, hey I am a jersey girl).......THE SHOW ME STATE...............pics or it did not happen.

Now, about this NEW Joose being conceived......HHHhhhhhmmmmmmm......




Anxiously await this new joose named after the infamous, the one, the only, DA MAN, Angus. Now Angus is a Prime Cut Above Joose............now that there joose is gonna be a bit sweet, a bit stern, a bit funny (as all get out) and have a nasty bite..............Now that would be my guess on that matter cause I remember when...................all comin back at me..................Saturday ..........thread.........pics.................nm..................on a need to know basis................this joose in the works is gonna be somethin special, I tell you that!...........*gettin sentimental here, please pass the tissues, I feel a whinin comin over me*


PS. Aubergine is a keeper IMO...........just sayin

**Ciego decides the rifle is a *very* bad idea, so he ejects the box magazine, then clears the chamber. .50 cal. bullets are so pretty.... but a very powerful load....**

And speaking of powerful loads, I wonder how much Miss Bonnie has had to drink already? I mean, I know it's Super Bowel weekend (I spelled it that way, because after all the loaded potato skins, jalapeno poppers, Texas Flaming Lips Chili, nachos, beer...it *will* be a Super Bowel weekend...)

** Wanders around in bunny suit, sniffing for Bonnie's hole... the stump, the stump, you foul-minded reader! **

I need a shot o' that Ms. Walker myself. Busy weekend ahead...

** He pauses to vape a few tantalizing puffs of OMG...yep, the joose... **

The store is closed. Good thing I stocked up before the most recent blizzard. Normally, if you can't order via the site or PM, you can always write

orders@kickbassvapor.com but if the store is closed for awhile, it's closed.

*Golly, wonder what BoB and Issy M. will do with all that 'free time...'). LOL

**Hippity-hops toward the outhouse. Wonders how the rear flap (just under the puffy, fluffy tail) will work out...**

"Walygonnaneedyusumtursingseethwutergonnawarshthso yoffifyadonttursovrthayre.kinyadig?cuzigotsomboyst hrcanlaysomtursupnthatend,seethisahollerstillebnth oweupsomanthewutergonnawarshofffysoyferlongiffnyud unnturs..."

"Well, you're gonna need you some terracing - see, the water's going to wash the soil off if you don't terrace over there. Can you dig? 'Cuz I've got some boys here who can lay some terraces up at that end - see, this is a hollow, even though we're up some, and the water's gonna wash off your soil before long if you don't terrace... " I kept saying "Turse? What's a turse?"

also, from a guy about 8 feet tall, also first day on the land, lyrically:
"walseeiseenmealilhummbrdinthmeddertadayjusskiminr itealong...anisayswellthattherpurdyhummbrdmusbethe rnewpeople'sliddlgrlansoijusstoppinintaseefshelike wunthesecookieseartheyastillwormnrightgudyubetterh avwuntooyaskinlilthingaincha?"

This was a really sweet moment, actually - and a sweet man. "Well see, I seen me a little hummingbird in the meadow today just skimming right along, and I says, 'Well, that there pretty hummingbird must be the new people's little girl', and so I just stopped in to see if she'd like one of these cookies here. They're still warm and right good- you'd better have one too - you're a skinny little thing, aintcha?"

Ciego? -

"The simple explanation is that "colder than a witch's tit" is just a vivid metaphor, like "hotter than the hinges of hell." Since a
witch is in league with Satan, presumably she has no maternal feelings. Thus the medium by which she would suckle a child is,
well, cold as a witch's tit.

But there's some history behind this wisecrack. A witch's tit (or witch's teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly left a marking
that witch hunters and courts would look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly, witches would suckle their
familiars, and sometimes the Devil himself, from this "unholy" body part. To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots on the
skin called devil's marks--caused by the Devil's claws or teeth--the suspects were stripped, shaven, then closely examined for
any blemishes, moles, or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would
poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle (called a bodkin) until they found a spot that didn't feel pain or bled. Discovery
of these marks or spots--one supposes they would be considered cold since they were a sign of communion with the
Devil--would be "proof" of the person's dealings with Scratch, so they would be shown in full court before the execution."

I gotta get out of this forum...

Hey phorbin! Sorry I missed ya today been a busy day. Glad to hear you like the joose! Welcome to the Hidey Hole, pull up one of them hollowed stumps and sit a spell. Watch out for bunnies unless they are the Playboy ones

Never heard back and hoping AAA found you and you aren't frozen to a car somewhere, or worse yet chased off by a giant wabbit!



Welcome to the Hidey Hole! Glad you found the Caramel cookie so good. We worked with a person who has been published for tasting foods with this one and they said it was hands down best ever. When the site is up and we resume ordering that WILL be available to order

Novella Volume 69 - The Story goes on... and on... and on (You get the picture)

***The mystery of the Giant Wabbit has been solved, but another has just been uncovered - Where does Ciego get all those KBV thongs??? Every time we see him, one: he is missing clothing and two: he has a different thing... Blue, red, black, wide strap, posing, banana hammock. The list seems endless! Where around the Honey, Hidey Hole does he find them??? I preceed to follow our blind, thong wearing friend as he leaves the outhouse/office, down the trail. Past the campfire and dock... Past BonnieGirl's stump, The Preacher, HyOnLyph's cabin, sown the side trail to Mini_art's little cabin in the woods. Ciego knocks twice and enters; as I approach the porch, the door opens and Ciego emerges carrying a bright pink bag with a heart logo on the side and "Mini's Secret" below the heart. I slip behind a tree and let Ciego walk past.

After he is out of hearing I approach the the cabin and hear the clattering of a sewing machine from within... I look into the windo ans see our beloved Aunt Mini hard at work on her stitching and embroidery and then notice WHAT she is embroidering... A THONG! She is putting the final touches on the Outhouse and KBV image on the front panel. I scan the room and hanging from every available space are thongs and other unmentionables... Bras, garter belts, hose, nighties... ALL embroidered with KBV! In the corner is a box of bright pink bags with a heart and "Mini's Secret" upon them... Our own Aunt M! The supplier of Ciego's thongs...

I step to the door and push it open...***

AH HA! I got you!!! Its been you all along! Assisting Ciego in the assault on our eyes and minds... Oh the Nightmares you have caused! Don't you understand there are some things that should see the light of day (mainly Ciego's uncovered manliness)!

What do you have to say for yourself woman!

***Music crescendos as Mini rises from her sewing machine... an evil gleam in her eye. Scene fades***

Hey Folks... Remember that do to server issues and supplies held up by bad weather, KBV is CLOSED to orders until sometime Next week. Keep an eye on the thread or join in the fun to hear (well read) the latest information about KBV.

Pull up a log, load a carto or atty and stay on top of all the adventures at the Honey, Hidey Fish'in Hole in Fishigan!

*Peers out onto th' porch n sees miss Bonniegirl eyes closed rockin in m'favorite rockychair...* Why miss Bonnie... why dincha knock on th' doo...uh.... doo.... oh.. yeah, that ole wolfatthedoor huffed and puffed and blew the door away.... *preacher's wonderin how's he gonna survive with no door in this wintry weather* Well ya coulda holler'd. But a good ole rockychair 'll fix what ails ya... that'n bit o KBV joose for the vapin'

Didja see that Ciego feller prowlin 'round in a wabbit suit actin' like the famous actor n all... that Harvey... (not the other.... uhm.... Bugs) What? Ya din know that was Ciego? Po ole Bonniegirl ... musta madeja freak sumpin feirce. Betcha thotcha was loozin it. That ms KY pinned his ars.... uh ... face to a tree .... n still he kept on paradin round. I hear tell he's back to 'is thong wearin' n paradin' n such.

No girl, you aint loozin' it.... well no more'n usul.... but cha outa lay offa that bottle a bit. Give it a tiny rest a bit. Getcher wits aboutcha. You'll be fine.... you'll be back to yer ole .... uhm ..... busommy self in no time parkin yer uhm.... self on a nice stump and keepin an eye out fer welcomin the younguns.

*Bonniegirl arrives at the cabin of Preacher Hy and fusses with her hair to pat gently the unkempt fly aways that escaped the imprisonment of the pink curlers.......presses the flowered house dress with palms of hands to tidy herself a bit and pinches her cheeks to give the illusion of color *well, they always do that in the movies*....she then makes a tight fist of the right hand and quickly tosses the brown bag out to the left near the bushes to remain "bottle free" in front of the Preacher man......she then knocks and waits..............no reply.................knock, knock.*No this ain't a dang knockin joke*............right ear cupped against the door, she listens...........no movement or sounds are heard and she grimaces..........walks over to the tossed bag and retrieves it and removes the twisted metal cap and sighs and swigs a good long swig...................she then turns and begins the reverse zig zagged pattern back toward the fire ring and stumps and is disheartened to not have her moment with the preacher man..........a tear or *OK , maybe it was 12 * two falls upon the cheeks and surrounds the hairy mole and finds it's way down the same path of tears of years gone by..........to the same destination as usual......*ok we will spare the details again*............It has been a sad day, a lonely day, a confusing day and now........horror of horrors.........the honey hole licensing center has closed for renovations and all the fisherfolks are a buzz over the nets bein empty and the cupboards are bare and give the poor dog.......*and cats and wolves and Godzillas and well all the critters*.a bone.......uhhmmm.........a joose.........WTF(Not the joose) will they do without their catches?........Bonniegirl speaks aloud to her self*

Well we best be a sharin wid each udder an all, all ah Gods peoples got a right tah the good stuff dey deserves an all an well...........we is jest gonna has tah ration out our catches and jest share em all wid all...........yep..an if dat preacher man was a doin his duty tah God an all he wood a bin tellin em all dat dey can all shared wid each and all an dare is nuff fer all.

*Bonniegirl sees the newly constructed outhouses with two large white wabbit feets under the door and screams*

I knowed I weren't seein things ain't dare...........lookey all it is a ginormous white wabbit raht cheer at the honey hole............an he is in the sheeter an he is up tah no good an all.


Pass the marshmallows please, I like em toasty when the story gets mysterious and all.

ChrisKY!! Well how do expect a lady to earn her joose ! Unlike some I know that sneak around swiping bottles from unsuspecting honey hole people !

I just make the stuff ! I dont tell anyone how to wear it and if that crazy coot Ciego hasnt the sense to put his jeans on its not my fault! Hmmm come to think of it i have something right here in a tastefull hot pink that would go well with your hair dear. U sure you dont want to try it on ?

They tell me thongs are very comfortable when uh , hmmm , fishin! ya thats it , fishin! Your lovely lady might like a uh undergarment with a lovely bass on the uh , posterior LOL.

Or I can make a case for your ecig or a sweatshirt with the outhouse on it complete with map to it because I know u have a hard time findin it when u are in dire need, and I saw u dancing around in the snow freezing your Harley off looking for the outhouse last night . You really should consider cutting that mane of hair so's u can see more then a foot in front of ya

Now then take this thong and scoot off down the trail and leave me to work , I have to make one with a bunny rabbit on it next !

This here Novella needs to have a director cause the Preacher man is talkin tah bonniegirl and she is not findin him home? Are there twin Preacher men or is Bonniegirl at the wrong cabin...with the zig zaggin an all, she coulda been knockin on the wrong door *OK, It ain;t the first time she was confused what with the Ms Walker an all*

Thongs don't have posteriors =P Looks like you'll have to slap the bass on that .... with some of that there duck tape =P

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella 69 Volume 69 chapter 67 can't quite reach................. the end

*knowing all along where his KBV thong came from is going to try to blow vapor up someone's hollow log* "Hey guys I believe that KY (the jelly man) is actually that gay warden in disguise! Anyone else intrigued by the absence of him and blowing vapor......er the cover off of top secrete info lately" ...... Chapter 68 in Novella 69 extended by 1

*knows the plotting behind the site being down, the soon to be newly released flavors, and the embroidered PV cases, thongs and hats* ................ "Let me see what all this fuss about Ciego thongs and mini is all about" ....... *finds Ciego thongs and mini quite fitting...... literally* " I think I'll OH CRAP! (certainly not a joose) ......
*falls into the .....

willow.... and onto a ..........

cat*

** Wrench in hand, Ciego continues working on his ANUS (Armageddon Nicotine Use System), a PV of nightmarish possibilities...**

My ANUS will put out enough vapor to fog Cowboy Stadium. Heh heh heh.... The atomizer, made from an old Chevy Vega ignition coil, coupled with hand-knitted nichrome wool for a wick... I just need to attach these heavy-duty jumper cables to the Astron power supply....

** Wonders which cable is red and which one is black....**

Ah well, polarity *shouldn't* matter...

The gas mask and juice misting pumps are all connected, as is the blinding green laser dazzler. This thing weighs a ton; good thing I put this on a dolly (actually, my little red wagon).


It's almost time to test the ANUS. I'd better prepare by donning some protective clothing.

The Bunny Suit of Doom will give me the OSHA-standard protection I need, so when I fire up this bad boy, I'll be protected should anything go awry. I will run the initial tests using a juice from KBV, of course...

** Lowers safety goggles over the bunny face...**

It's time for my ANUS to get hot...

**To be continued **

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Its time for: Jelly man says...

Hi folks! I'm ChrisKY otherwise known as Jelly Man and I'm going to give you the rundown on three new KBV samples I got. First up...

KBV Bogart

Another of the acclaimed KBV tobacco vapes coming to us straight from the Fishigan Honey, Hidey, Fish'in Hole.

This is a KEEPER! Nice rich bacco flavor, just the right amount of sweetness with a bit of smokiness on the inhale and a spicy undertone and a crisp exhale. Not sure how to describe the exhale flavor... almost fruity, but not really. LOL - not much help on that am I...

Like all KBV joose, tons of vapor and rich, layered flavor.

All in all, 4 1/2 out of 5 Stars.

TH is the only drawback, but that might just be me -I like tobaccos to have a bit more and if this was their 70/30 (kick in throat) blind it would have me Bogarting this Joose!

Next up...

Nutty Uncle KY

As the name implies... ALL IS MINE! , but I know what softhearted folks yssiM & boB are, so if you ask nice they would share some with ya...

All kidding aside, I had approached boB about a nutty tobacco at one time way back when and told him (hint, hint, hint) I was looking for a nutty bacco and that all I had tried were... aaahhh BLAH! He then told me that they had been hard at work in the secret lab on just the very thing and asked if I wanted to give it a try.... Weeellllll SURE!

The flavor is, as named Nutty, but more of a Hazelnut with a mellow creaminess that really locks the smokey sweet tobacco taste together. Its rich and earth and has tons of layers to the flavor...The creamy taste is a back note and not really a flavor of its own. On the exhale it has a tangy(citrus maybe) hint that really wraps the whole thing up.

To me this joose as one of the most perfect TH I have tried... Its a caress, not a punch in the adam's apple. I am very picky about TH and most jooses either have too much or not enough, but this is perfect to me!

Got this one and immediately had to RAVE to boB & yssiM about it and it is in my daily rotation...Who am I kidding this is in a PV at 5v all day.

5 out of 5 stars! This Joose ROCKS

And last but not least...

Crossfire Trail

This is just a good, straight baccy! Not much in the way of frills, just rich, earthy and smokey. Don't get me wrong... The flavor is just as complex as any other KBV joose I have tried, but in a down home kind of way. The first impression on inhale strong tobacco flavor with a hint of pepper. The smokiness really shines on this one, right on the back of the tongue... What really surprised me was the TH... Its the strongest TH of the KBV line in the standard 60/40 VG/PG mix. Once again, not a punch in the talkbox, but warm and pleasant.

I have to say that the peppery/smokey flavor on this makes me understand the name... I get images of campfires in the mountains with the tobacco. For bacco fans this is a MUST TRY.

4 out of 5 stars

I am not much of a tobacco fan, but all three of these are fine tasting jooses with just enough of the tobacco flavor to scratch even my occasional tobacco itch. I will be add all three to my Joose Box O Doom I am sure - Way to go Guys.

Oh... One final note. I vaped all these at 3.7 with LR 510 atty & 5 volt using standard 2.3 ohm and I find there is no flavor drop off at 5v. In fact I think 5v brings the undertones out more and adds to the flavor.

Keep in mind gang that KBV is closed to orders until the coming week due to delivery delays fromthe blizzard and website issues from the server. boB & yssiM are hard at work getting all the bugs lined out and will keep you posted on when ordering will resume.

Now... Back to your normally scheduled abnormality!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Once again, a pair of nefarious characters, clad in trenchcoats sneak into the studios of KBV Radio - The Divine 69 point 69.***

Hello burls and goys, this is your ol' buddy Mike Oxlong, along with guest engineer Hugh Jardon... Tonight we'd like to present a new feature, called,

"What's Wrong with that Joose?"

Tonight, we're taking a close look at a new line of jooses from Vomit Vapor Dot Commies, called their "American Nausea Line." According to Eaton Foulpoon, owner and vaporator of Vomit Vapor, these jooses feature a base made with petroleum jelly, instead of PG, VG or PEG.

At $18.00 for 7 milliliters, they're hardly a bargain. But we're not here to talk about prices, we're here to bash their dispicable joose.

Here's a flavor. "Up your Chuck." The description says it is supposed to taste like kimchi, that famous Korean cabbage dish. To me it tastes more like....smegma? Can we use that word on the air?

** Hugh Jardon chuckles appreciatively. **

Okay, here's one called, "Bad Bean Bake." This one is supposed to taste like old fashioned baked beans after they've been recycled through the digestive system. I dunno about you, kiddies, but this one sounds pretty vile.

And finally, here's the flag.... of the Vomit Vapor line, "Vulgar Vegan Volcano." Dirty gas station men's room and/or Waffle House comes to mind on this one...

Well, speaking just for me, I am very very happy that there's a quality alternative to all the garbage currently bering promoted on the Internet by juice vendors who obviously go through life clueless, but hoping to cash in on the popularity of vaping. Although the name of their business is simply one of the dumbest I've ever heard, you gotta love the quality, taste and customer service offered by Kick Bass Vapor. Hell, who want's to punt a fish? I think PETA should get involved. Kick my bass, willya?.

** Hugh Jardon triggers sound effect of a flounder being place-kicked. ***

Until next time, when we can again sneak into the station, this is your old pal Mike Oxlong reminding you that a KBVaper is a happy vaper.

Now, we return you to this thread, which is already in progress....

*** The air fills briefly with warm static and the big transmitters powers down.

KBV will hold a benefit auction to acquire a new new sauna heater in hopes of a grand opening 4th of July weekend along with the Lake Fishgan 1st annual VG wresting tournament. Donations of empty KBV bottles will be accepted and expected to bring a nice price from the recycle center. Prizes are yet to be determined but Andy Closehoff and Wendy Doer are working on it.

We'll just bill ya for the new sauna heater

Hey FV, glad you made it back safe. Yes the Thonged ranger is back, he's taken a segment on KBV radio 69.69 now he's got songs stuck in our head. It's a record though I think it's been 2 or 3 days since he's fallen in the lake or the ...........




willows and had to be rescued by medic


Ciego that was me with the train wreck, reading your post about songs that stick in your head I knew I should have stopped but had to read which ones they were and now have one stuck, remember payback is ......... well payback

** The ancient 420 and 811 tubes in the old transmitter warm to life as a shadowy figure again keys the microphone...**

Hey pals n' gals, this is your ol' buddy Mike along with engineer Mr. Jardon, live and kicking bass here at the Divine 69, KBV Radio.

Today's topic: Songs that stick in your head, and bad jooses that stick in your craw and/or atomizer. Nothing makes a bad vape worse than listening to some horrific pop concoction that sticks in your head.

I'm not gonna name names here, but you gotta know that not all jooses are as good, pure, tasty and lovingly-made as KBV joose. In fact, there are vendors right here on ECF who use substandard nicotine and veterinary-grade PG, so caveat emptor and caveat sphinctor, if you get my drift.

Okay, back to the songs that stick in your head. Ready for a little self-torture? Google Rebecca Black "It's Friday" and listen. This inane, lousy song went so viral that the 14 year-old Ms. Black at one point was earning $35,000.00 per week from shared advertising revenues on youtube. Or so the story goes.

I'm gonna throw down the gauntlet here. ANybody other than Missy, who has superhuman abilities, who can make a song stick in my head wins a bottle of the KBV joose of his/her choice. I make the final decision, and there can be only one Weiner....er, winner.

And speaking of Weiners, goodbye Anthony. I don't personally think he should of resigned, but that's just me. I appreciate smut.

Now, we'll relinquish these airwaves in the interest of promoting truly intelligent conversation. BTW, our prayers go out to all the firefighters in Arizona, New Mexico and Florida, and the various support folks, the medics, the cops, the drivers, the pilots. God be with all of you as you battle these fires.

** The transmitter quietly hisses into silence as the old 811 and 420 tubes cool. As the airwaves quiet, you can almost hear the universe sigh. **

@ Aubergine/Ms. Eggplant:

I actually performed in a brothel

Me too, sorta, but we ain't goin' there. Eggplant is a Stately Old Lady and her colorful past, which incidentally also included some little brief hallo with Santana (see Pacific High School, La Honda, The Land, Black S... Puppy Farm, somewhere's near 1968) but nothing so completely cool as recently playin' with former members in Cent. A, musically or otherwise - her colorful past is awanderin forever far away in the sky with diamonds and gonna stay there whilst she arrange her dreadful pantyhosen.

Now I gotta get back to work, fast, but ooh keep the eclectica pretties comin', I loves this place...

Ya'll are a bit ODDer than usual this mornin'. I feel more comforted when weez all a bit odd... er..... odd... est..... er.....
I sure agree that yssiM has a knack fer pickin' unique (not eunuch) and memorable (did someone say "obsure"?) vids off'n youtooby. Did I hear sumpin' bout red curtains by th' hidey hole? Well I guess we could use a little dressin' up round here but careful bonnie doesn't grab 'em n make a housecoat outa them. She be lookin' like th' ole ms walker in the red dress she be totin' round.
n don't putem up in front of the fire..... that ol' KYGeneman 'll think its a drive in movie.... just sayin'

It's a beeyoootiful day in th' hidey hole. n I heard a vapin' store brick-n-morter type opened up right down the road a piece from me. Gonna haveta stop inta eCigCity in Laguna Beach.

Chelle..... sure nice t' see ya.

*** Ciego drags a huge bundle into the sauna building, then returns and grabs another load....***

Okay, if those evil women of FRIGID (Fishigan Retired Independent Gals Improving Decency) don't like my sauna, wait until they get a load of this!

*** Hangs mirror ball above where sauna heater should be, then begins to erect sturdy brass dancin' pole.**

Yep. "Blind Man's Boff," Lake Fishigan's very first strip club is about to be...er, unveiled.

** He chuckles at the bad joke and begins to turn the sauna benches into a stage platform.**

Sniffers' Row! Or perhaps more correctly, Vaper's Row!

Man I'll make a mint with this. We already got a lot of fine prospects for deejays...and Lard knows that it ain't tough to hire dancers in this economy. Hell, I'll bet half the graduating class from Lake Fishigan High will want to audition...

**Emits an evil chuckle.**

Yep, nobody knows how to turn a trick...er, make a biuck like ol' Ciego!

** Begins assembling deejay booth...**

** A lonely shed begins to glow with an eerie light, as antiquated tubes in an ancient transmitter warm to life, and the air crackles with an ethereal static and hiss....**

Hey Dudes and Dude-ettes, it's your ol' buddy Mike Oxlong, along with substitute engineer Helena Handbasket, bringing you the nooz from the shores of Lake Fishigan, here on the Divine 69.69, KBV Radio.

A successful contest was promoted today by Godzilla, founder and father of foxyboxmods.com - Home , maker of extraordinary 3.7 and 5 volt box mods. The contest was to guess the number of Lincoln Logs in a tub...567 was the winning count, and the winning counter was Tierratis. BTW, Happy Birthday Tierra...and what a great gift, especially since it includes a little ol' bottle of KBV juice!

Madman Ciego has been seen wandering around, trying to convert the failed sauna into some sort of adult entertainment venue. No word yet on a grand opening, although Ciego is expected to begin hiring boobie girls...er, dancers in the very near future. His "Stick a Song in My head" inpromptu contest last night was a big hit around the Hidey Hole, and certain songs, including "the Song that Never Ends" and Rick Astley's frothy little pop concoction, "Never Gonna Give you Up" are driving him nearly insane. By the way, Ciego reports no progress has been made in tracking down his missing sauna heater and his missing silk unmentionables... the Thongs of Destiny.

** Engineer Helena Handbasket is suddenly overcome with impatience and stabs a long, elegant finger at the master power switch... A hiss of ethereal static fills the airwaves as the big transmitter once again falls silent.**

No "sales," but if you look at the regular prices and low shipping costs, you'll see that KBV's prices are already very reasonable...far less than the industry-standard $1.00/ml.

Welcome to the Hidey Hole here on the shores of Lake Fishigan, U.S.A. Enjoy the oddity and the hand-crafted KBV e-liquid.

** Ciego takes a small bow and wanders toward the lake...then trips and falls into the wild rose bush...**

Aw, crap. Anybody got an adhesive plaster?

**preacherman HyOnLyph peeks outa the lean2, ears perked an' eyes searchin' everywhichaway** "Novella??? Did I hear boB mention the novella?? What mischief has beset us?? The fire needs another log no matter how hot it is 'round these parts" *Hy reaches down for a gooden n steps across the two fallen trees layin sidebyside, he uses as a bridge across the stream. Tosses a log on the fire. As the log hits and a mixture of ash, smoke ..... oops... just vapor... (no ash or smoke in these parts) .... and diein' embers flies up ... sumpin' stirs in the bushes... the throny ol' rosey bushes.....*

"whodat?" "Whodat I say??!! lying in da bushes?"

**Suddenly a passel o'possum comes scurryin' out in a row... one after tuther... cross th' hidey hole, round the fire... n off down t'ord the dock..... searchin' for .... well fer whatever.... They is the posse o'possum hired by Ciego.... duely depatized .... t' search out n seezure... um ... uh.... sees yer .... um .... seizure.... (sigh)... see if'n someone's stealin' his stuff. Looks like now he's got'em on th' hunt fer that heater stole by ... well .... whomever it was stole by....**

* Hy looks around as stillness engulfs the hidey hole again... looks like everyone's on th' lake ...(waiting by their 'puter) fer KBV JOOSE Fishin' season t' open back up agin......cast a line .... catch some JOOSE .... woo hoo...... best there is...**

*walks off wonderin' t'hissef if boB ever issued th' fishin' licenses he was plannin' on. *

** Ciego peers out of the untamed rose bush....**

Hey! I haven't seen the Preacher around here in awhile... (okay, who am I kidding? I haven't _seen_ anybody around here, ever. I smelled the jelly Man once, and Bonnie's breath after a night of...er, medicating with the Ms. Walker....)

** Ciego catches the smell of possum on the move...and if you've never smelled possum on the move, you've missed out.**

Sure hope them possums find my stupid sauna heater! The Fishigan County Board refused to approve my strip club....er, adult entertainment venue. Now I'm stuck with a building made with a lot of expensive redwood and cedar planking, and no sauna heater!

** Ciego extricates himself from the somewhat smelly rose bush, intending to walk toward the fire to sit awhile, only to go face-first into the .....




willows.....**

Aw, crap!

**medic comes walking up the pebble path after a long day working the lifeguard stand...it's hard work sitting in the sun making sure no one drowns...when she finds Ciego tangled up in the .....


willows**
Come on Ciego, I will help you back to the fire. I heard what the Fishigan County Board said about your Adult enternaiment venue. do you think they might let you turn it into a disco????? With all of the good music lately, a place to dance would be nice...Just a thought.....

***emerging from my cabin on the honey hidey hole shores of Lake Fishigan I see the White Wabbit is at it again... Since I am well aware of his TRUE identity now, I know that Ciego is at it again. Through the trees and snow I see our blind, harey friend working on his next PV of mass destruction in the distance. Goggles on backwards and KBV thong over bunny suit, he is putting the finishing touches on the latest in a chain of things that go BOOM!***

Is that a Tesla Coil??? Oh lord... this is not going to end well!

***I grab my trusty spyglass to get a closer look at our local master of self immersion. He seems to be adding the final touches on his latest device... A.N.U.S (Armageddon Nicotine Use System)! Wires, tubes, batteries, hoses... hmmm is that a garden sprayer as a juice tank? Da Wasskley Wabbit seems satisfied with his final adjustment...rises, grabs the handle and heads for the campfire with his death wagon in tow.***

aahh crap! I better head him off at the pass before he gets someone hurt.

***I reach into the cabin door and grab my handy, dandy tranquilizer rifle.... This will stop that wabbit!***

*hears noise coming from A.N.U.S. and looks at and blames on dog*

Orders KBV-616 through KBV-645 are being processed and you will have tracking/ and or delivery confirmation by Monday. Inventory problems are getting worked out and that should finish out what was processed through the site until we reopen next week. Thanks, boB

*staring at his quickly dwindling bottle of kbv candy bar* I need muh joose!

The main reason the thongs are being designed in a darker color, so we can distinguish between the thong and the KBV tattoo that Ciego sports on his ....... well ...... you know..



Bass

“It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.”

A. A. Milne

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Jelly Man Says - Episode II

Just finished vaping a sample I got of a New KBV flavor...

KBV Caramel Cookie

This has a nice smoooootttthhhh Caramel flavor that rolls off the tongue... Not harsh or chemically tasting like most caramels I have tried. You get a dead on cookie taste and a pleasant undertone that is almost buttery. I am not the biggest baked goods vape fan, but this is very good. Reminds me of mom baking on a Sunday afternoon... Fresh out of the oven...Warm and moist!

If you are a cookie fan, you really need to try this.

I got in the standard KBV sample bottle and threw it on this morning with coffee - I am thinking this might be a regular weekend morning thing.

Only negative I can find is the TH on this one is a little light, but if you bump it to the 70/30 kick in the throat I think even the biggest TH lover will enjoy this.

I give this one 4 out of 5 stars

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Maisre! The Hundred Acre Wood! I just sent my daughter that quote this morning, along with a suggestion that she immediately check KBV out. She's become a DIY person but I have a feeling she's gonna love this... (best thang about starting vaping... then everyone else in the fambly did.)

"“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.”
Pooh

“It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.”

A. A. Milne

I spot me a bigmouth peeking...Would that be a bass??? welcome to the hidey honey fishin' hole... come pull ya up a stump by the fire, tell us a fishin' tale

***Maisri reaches her destination...a stump by the fire at her favorite Hidey Hole fishin' camp in beautiful, FREEZING Fishigan***

"hmmmm? Wonder why everyone is ducking behind trees, bushes, outhouses and such?"

***then she sees Ciego playing einy-meiny-miney-mo with the red and black wires connected to his ANUS*** OMG (not the joose) this is NOT going to be good...!

***ChrisKY (Jelly lovin' man he is) is lowering the sights on his tranquilizer gun, trying to get a clear shot at Ceigo's fluffy bunny tail*** "Boy, I sure hope he gets a shot off before the unspeakable happens!!" "I can see Ciego's ANUS getting hot from here..."

This probably won't end well....

"why-oh-why do folks have to take such drastic measures to vape that joose" ***inhales deeply with a think, sweet cloud of Monkey Bread swirling around, floating up into the trees*** "oh, yeah, THAT's why. 'Cause it's the most delish joose" "Okee Dokee, Ciego...I understand the mission your on. Perfecting your ANUS (Armageddon Nicotine Use System) would provide that ultimate vapor" (not to be confused with bunny farts)

***sits back and watches the scene play out*** "I ain't skeert...I ain't ducking behind no outhouse! From what I understand, Aubergine is in BOTH of them, and I'm just not gettin' that close!" Been off those analogs for 4 months now and my smeller is getting smellier every day!

This is the life...enjoying the sport of invention, vaping and fishin' all in one. Can't imagine why everyone is makin' such a fuss about some silly foosball game this weekend. The fun is happenin' right here...and I'm stayin' put.

OH Ciego Yoooohhhhooo!! Ciego wait just a minute on that ANUS explosion !!! I've got your new thong for u !!

Well I was hoping to delay the inevitable disaster until Chris could get a bead on the bunny tail and it seems to be workin !

Ciego is looking for the new thong waving wildly in the breeze in my upright hand .

Annnndddd, Chris is taking the shot ! I hope he dont miss or there will be hasenpfeffer for dinner, which actually sounds pretty good but I know what that bunny really is , so , uh , no thanks!

He shoots ! and ..................

"...oh, Ms. Mini, you do make the loveliest little what-nots!" Those KBV thongs are sure to be a hit. I hope thar's enough tail left on Ciego to do that lovely new thong justice!" "...and if your little ol' fingers aren't too tired, you might consider a pair of KBV thigh highs for those furry, bunny legs o' his!"

For the rest of the freezing fisherfolk...a nice sweatshirt, (hat, gloves, & boots) would be most appreciated! We havna' got our OSHA approved bunny suits in the mail yet! It, along the boB and yssiM's supplies...has been stalled by all the snow! I guess we'll have to wait until next week for our joose and our warm bunny-wear!

*** From behind a stump (not BonnieGirls) I bring my weapon to bare... Through the scope I draw a bead on that puffy, fluffy bunny tail and slide of the safety. Take a deeeeeeppppp Breath and slowly exhale as I squeeze the trigger and just as the shear starts to give, Mini yells to get Ciego the Waskly Wabbits attention.***

"OH Ciego Yoooohhhhooo!! Ciego wait just a minute on that ANUS explosion !!! I've got your new thong for u !!" Mini yealls

***Ciego, ever the thong lover, jumps up and starts the wave his arms... The trigger drops and the dart flies... Three things happen at once: Ciego, in his wild thong gyrations bumps the "Start" button on his ANUS. HyOnLyph walks off his porch and my shot parts the bunny tail, but misses the Meat of the matter. The dart hits the wagon and riccochett off the little red wagon, bounces from a tree, and hits HyOnLyph square in the tookus. In surprise the Preacher man tosses his coffee cup in the air and crumbles to the ground and the coffee cup smacks one of Wolfatthedoors opossums on a limb. The opossum falls onto the campfire... jumps and screams from the singeing and runs into Basementcat taking a "Personal" bath by a stump. Basement cat, startled, jumps into Masiri's lap digging in claws who tosses her trusty eGo (the PV, not my swollen head) into the air which lands on the big red button marked "TURBO CHARGE" on top of Ciego's ANUS.

Meanwhile the ANUS is chuging to life, spitting joose and puffs of vapor from all sides... When the button is pushed by the thrown eGo, blue flames burst from every seem and massive clouds of OMG (The Joose) spew from the multiple hoses coming from the devices housing. Ciego jumps in surprse as the hot steam hits his puffy, fluffy thong covered tail and knocks the little red wagon carrying his ANUS over with a loud crash. The fire and vapor spewing monster of a PV lands on a pile of partially empty bottles of Mrs Walker left behind by BonnieGirl. The bottles break... The fire roars and the ANUS EXPLODES with a flash of light and a mushroom cloud of vapor. launching our mishap prone Wabbit through the ........ Willows and straight into the lake with Puffy, Fluffy Thong covered tail ablaze.***

OMG (NOT the joose) Ciego!

***I dash down the dock and grab our always present Ciego saving device from its brightly painted holder on the railing and toss it to the water treading wabbit and pull him to shore.***

** A soggy Ciego has wandered back up the shoreline, his floppy ears and puffy, fluffy tail dripping lake weeds

I know! Back to the workshop! I must make a portable vapor unit... the Portable Electronic Nicotine Inhalator System - P.E.N.I.S. My gay warden friend will be happy to know that the P.E.N.I.S. will dock with the rebuilt A.N.U.S. ..

** Ciego carefully covers the remains of his A.N.U.S. with a tarpaulin and goes in search of a 35 kilowatt generator with 220 volt output... **

*decides he's done cleaning up after people and they can clean their own A.N.U.S. up* "WTF? (not the joose) is everyone okay?" *takes a massive hit off T.I.T. (KBV Tubing inlet Tank) and shakes head in disgust*

** Ciego wonders why ChrisKY prematurely blew up his PV, and how did a civilian acquire a tranquilizer rifle. He also understands he needs to clean up his own A.N.U.S. **

Gotta shovel...got a trash barrel, got some Wet Wipes. Got everything I need to clean up the mess from my exploding A.N.U.S. Hey, what's this tube of Preparation-H (not a juice) doing here?

** Throws tube (and special applicator tip) into little red wagon, along with clean-up supplies. **

Well, I guess I'll have to wait to play with my P.E.N.I.S. until I clean up the A.N.U.S. debris..

*Bonniegirl is awakened from a stupor.......ahem...........a sound sleep by a loud bang........a loud OMG.....(Not the joose).and ..........various gasps, bushes rustling and chatter among the fisherfolk. She rubs her eyes and peers out of the hole..........*Yeah, the stump hole and not Ciegos woman friends either*....and looks around......all is in disarray and it it obvious there was either a tornado or Armageddon or most likely that bumblin idjit Ciego and his inventionin again..........she sees metal tubing and plastic masks and metal gears and twisted metal pieces and ..... willow branches everywhere and all the fisherfolk are gathered around a ginormous white bunny suited mass of a being and she sees Bee Oh Bee suckling on a Teet?.................WTF(Not the joose).is he doin that for at a time like this?...............Seems the medic is workin on the mass of a white bunny and Bonniegirl is aghast at what she sees albeit relieved that she has assured herself it was indeed a large white rabbit and not a figment of the imagination *OK, the Ms Walker*.........She lifts her elbow to tilt the bottle and swigs from the brown bagged beauty and draws 5 volts of lovely Tootsie (Yes the joose and not the ones that went to market).........exhaling the aromatic vapors and filling here hole full of wafting wonderfulness.........a smile comes to her face and she speaks aloud to her self again*

Self...lookee here at all uh dis here mess an all......ain't dey had enuff uh dis here fiddlin aroun an all?.............we dun got us a criminal of the worstest kahnd dare tryin tah peekin roun in all the holes dey is an a scarin some intah thenkin dey ain't raht in de haid an all...........I was a walkin an tryin tah see dah preacher man an asken him tah hep me wid mah seein wrong thengs an all an dare it is in the flesh.............uhmmmmm.....the fur............ahem.............the cheap fakey stuff an all........an lookee dare at dat shoestringin up his .... dare..............dat dare ain't raht an where is dat dare gay.........uhmmm..........lame.............uhmmm.........Game Warden whens we is a needin some ticketin fer hole peekin and sniffin roun where dressed up bunnies an all shouldnt ah been a sniffin an all.............dis here is dah proof what we bin a needin dat dare is somethin a fishy roun here...................I smells a Wat.............uhmmm...........a wabbit.............uhhhmmm............wells, I be a smellin at somethin dat ain't raht in hese parts and have no busyness roun cheer............what wid dah peekin and dah sniffin an dah sneerin and dah scarin an all...............I say we make up some vittles of wabbit pot pie an skin him as shure as he be hangin by that shoestring up his ................what he dun putted me trew no good fahn woman shoulda hadda go threw*

<Bonniegirl stomps over to the crowd to see to it that justice is served on this wascally wabbit that has subjected the tiny honey hole fishin village in Fishigan US of A>

Pass me the popcorn please, this here storytime is gettin good an all and I has a drink , thank ya anywho.............*takes long draw of the best Tootsie rolly vape in the US of A*(YES, the joose)

** Ciego carefully and thoroughly cleans up the debris, loads it all into the trash can and absent-mindedly fumbles for a smoke... Yep, he's thinkin' an analog might suit him fine right now. He's had it up to his Portable Electronic Nicotine Inhalator System with vaping....the junk batteries, the bad video reviews of worse juices, the glowing stupid little LEDs....**

Damn! I threw away my last pack of butts two months ago.

** Sighs**

Ah well, I like vaping better anyway.

** Fumbles for his PV, finds his p*nis (not the PV) **
*

Aw, crap...

** Finally lays his hands on the Ego and drips in a few drops of Jamaican Ginger Mint from KickBassVapor.

Ah! This is delicious. Better than those old stinky burning things...what are they called again? Oh yeah...cigarettes. What a dumb donkey I was, smoking when I could have been vaping...and all these flavors! OMG (the juice), WTF (the juice *and* the expression), Crumb Doughnut, Crossfire Trail. I'm getting to the point where I can vape a different KBV flavor all day, every day....and not run out of new options for six weeks.

** His imagination is properly staggered at the thought of having *every single dang KBV flavor* to vape...

Note: The preceding was in fact a shameless commercial announcement. If you didn't figure that one out, go to "Ask the Veterans" section and ask them to explain it to you....

KBV rocks. End of commercial message. Now let's get back to our friends at the Hidey Honey Fishin' Hole on Lake Fishigan....

**The saga continues... Ciego has cleaned up the mess from the exploding A.N.U.S. (Armageddon Nicotine Use System) and is now pushing a ginormous Weber kettle grill up to the fire circle.**

<thinking aloud> I gotta get an early start for tomorrows Super Bowl Tail-bait Party here at KBV's Honey Hidey Hiney Howl on the eastern shore of beautiful Lake Fishigan.

** Disappears briefly into the underbrush and returns pulling an immense cooler on wheels. **

<singing> "Reel men of ge-eeenius.... Mr. Rolling Cooler Roller....you have no friends, but you have a big effing cooler..... "

Plenty of beers, plenty of sodas, some bottled water, tonic, ginger ale, an ancient bottle of mead and a can of 4Loco. What could be better?

** Disappears again into the underbrush, walks face-first into the .....
willows. Returns muttering under his breath, carrying a picnic tarp and poles **

Aw, crap. Trapped again by .....
willows. Sometimes I hate this stuff... But it will all be worth it tomorrow when we get together, grill up some steaks and fish, drink and vape, listen to the game pirated by.....er, carried exclusively on KKVB Radio. I love tail-baiting parties! Hope there's some tail to bait.... I'd better scrub up real good, maybe put on a fresh thong. I appreciate Aunt Minnie's craftspersonship, but I *will not* wear thigh-highs... Well, I *might* wear thigh-highs, but only for the right dominatrix.

**Gets fabulous mental picture of a certain very hot Mix-stress wielding a buggy whip.**

Shoot, I might even throw a Missy-fit.

**Laughs at both the mental image and at his own stupid joke...**

"Bobby Boucher, no son of mine will play dat Foos-ball. Buncha overgrown monsters man-handlin' each other...it's the DEVIL!" ........Baaahahahahahahahaha!

A rowdy, HOWDY on this fine Sunday, to the all the Hidey Hole fisherfolk!

***Awakes to another beautiful day at the Honey, Hidey Hole in Fishigan... Grabs coffee cup and heads to the campfire for some coffee and a good vape. Hmmm what shall it be? Nutty Uncle KY, Caramel Cappuccino, Aunt M's, Peaches & Cream, Caramel Cookie, WTF (Da Joose), OMG (Da Joose - CRAP! Wifey used it all) - SOOO MANY choices and everyone a keeper! Guess I'll take the whole tackle box and see what strikes me.***

Hi Folks... What is going on this fine day! Heard something about a foos-ball game going on or something, but I think I'll just fish and see what I catch today.

See that Ciego is finally picking up his ANUS... That boy is gonna hurt someone one day. Wearing thongs and thigh-highs, searching in his pocket for his NEW super PV... This never ends well.

Yup... Think I am just gonna feel a PV and Fish!

Beautiful day at the Fish'in hole.

*Bonniegirl is up an atom this early morn.....having used ..........ahem...........sipped......yeah, sipped less Ms Walker last night with all of the A.N.U.S. broo ha ha and the P.E.N.I.S. envy.....uhhhmmmm..........the excitement..........uhmmmmm.........the exaggeration..........nah.........it was a mess...........and well.........she is excited what with the grillin and the vapin and the buzzin about the Cheeseheads VS the Robbers...........ahem..........the Steelin ones, Yeah...............they is the underdogs and well........Bonniegirl always does root for the underdog. She herself, has lived an underdoggy life..............well............not actually UNDER a dog..........no.............ahem...............she has been the underdog.................*Now there is just somethin VERY wrong in all this.............just can't put a finger on it...........or in it?..........or over it?????????...........well, this here paragraph of the novella is gettin a bit slippery (Not the KY kind, the wordin kind and well it is a horrid corner to be in atm(NO that ain't a jooses)...........Suffice to say...........Bonniegirl chooses the black and yellow flowered house dress today and changes the curlers to matte black as they are a better match for her team...................She smells brautwurst..........*OMG(Not the joose) WTF(Not the joose again ) do they put in them things anyways? Snouts and innards and all an well they ain't good on the zippery club people an all...............Bonniegirl supposes she will stick to the corn nachos and salsa without too much TH............ahem..............hot pepper stuff cause that ain't good for ya an all and well ..............it just ain't.............Bonniegirl prepares for a root tootin good time at the fire pit with her friends from the honey hole near fishigan lake in Fishigan US of A and it will be a fun night *pray to God Ciego is keepin is clothes on and here ain't no shoelace up his .... an all*............she is hopin all will come to the party..........Bullet, Sandy K (Not the bacco that is special, the special woman) and that KY Jelly Chris , no (not the KY nutty bacco, the motorbikin slowpokin one, and pyloric the thinkin one and all the critters, wolfatthedoor..*note to self to watch out for the piggies* basement cat, Godzilla, GTO(Not the car an all).....Mini, the sweet seamstress and the coffee named auntie to bee Oh bee and well maybe be Oh Bee and YssiM theyselves will join us in this auspicious occasion.............Wonderin if that Gay warden will show his face..with his beady eyes and all and pray all is safe and all is feelin welcomed and happy to join in*

To be continued...............................

Bullet listens and watches the song of the day…her eyes slowly fill up with tears…yeah, this is exactly what we go through each and every day during winter. Need to move snow to get to the animals. Need to break the ice in the trough every morning…heater isn’t doing much in this type of cold…toss out the hay, fill the grain buckets…scatter grain for the visiting critters…they need food too. Been known to cook up some hot oats, wheat and grain for the animals during the storms, they need to stay warm.
Dig out the pickum up truck from beneath the snow and start cutting a trail out the gate…need to get to the post office to see if our package of KBV has arrived…hope the town tractor has scraped the roads… sure would be nice to vape some warm sugar cookie this time of morning…wonder if we’ll see the sun today?
Yep, this is the country life…just a waiting for the summer sun…..

Oh carp! Who's gonna keep my bork O lounger warm while I am busy??? Darnit...sorry wolfie, hurry back bud!


Bullet that sounds like it really sux!

I'll still be able to keep it warm, don't worry...Just a pain typing from my phone to the forum! So, might not be able to keep up as easily, but hopefully my roomie will be able to take apart my computer, replace the fan and get it back together today, if not it'll be wednesday sometime!

Mumbles to self.............*WTF(Not the joose) does this here Jelly man have to say that could be more important than what Bonniegirl has to say?*

<Lightbulb above curlers of Bonniegirl as she removes her black and yellow flowered dress and has a slight sadness for her Pittsburg Robbers.........UHMmmmmmmmm .............STEELERS............yep...........them ones, the LOSERS!>

*Speaking aloud*

Some people just aren't the Novella type............maybe they need short attention span programming..............I know...........a new show....................and the title will be...........

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

DON'T YA JUST HATE
with your host Bonniegirl

Episode one

Well the Super Bowl is over and some people are really mad. There are several reasons for the anger. One is the person that bought a 1000.00 nose bleed ticket on an internet auction site and got to the game to find out there were no seats in that section. Not only were there no seats, there was no section with those numbers. It happened to over 1500 ticket holders!
Don't ya hate paying for something you don't get?
I have a problem with my drive thru donut shop. Their coffee is real good and it costs 1.88 for a medium. I hand the cashier 2.00 and he always gives me a dime. I am no math genius and hate to be embarrassed enough to "beg" for my 2 cents but my 2 cents are just that..........MINE. And, if that man has 200 cars a day with at least 2 cents cheated he is makin a nice tidy sum of extra NON-TAXABLE income. Now.......he has a jar on the counter that says "tips for starving college student".......First, How can one starve working in a donut shop? One that is starving could always slip a hole....(Not the honey or the nasty kind....the donut kind).....in his mouth when the boss ain't looking. Now, about that 2 cents............I like to give my 2 cents, donate my 2 cents but I have a problem with people just takin my 2 cents. Don't Ya just hate that?

A big thanks to our sponsor B.O.B. from Kick Bass Vapor...........a great e-liquid at a great price with great service.....................and he won't keep your 2 cents change either.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, Chapter 269
.
***Setting on my favorite stump, cup of coffee and PV full of Caramel Cappuccino in hand, I stare into the nice, warm campfire here at the Honey, Hidey Hole on the banks of Lake Fishigan and recall the events of the last few weeks… Visions of exploding ANUS, mushroom clouds of vapor, giant thong wearing bunny wabbits, thieving lame…eeerr Gay….. Game Wardens fill my mind. I see BonnieGirl stumbling around with Mrs Walker being assaulted by Aunt M and her hygiene products and Wolfatthe door spreading a bad case of fleas… Rampant Opossum Posses, discarded maritial aids, piles of liter and unregulated gasoline/electrical devices. The last image in my mind is the exploding boat of Warden Dlite.
.
I let out a deep sigh and slowly rise and head to my cabin – This cannot be allowed, time I came out of retirement.
.
In my cabin, I pull my old trunk from under the bed and throw open the lid… the hinges screech from long disuse. Inside I find the contents of a former life: a tan uniform, cowboy hat, mirrored sunglasses, cowboy boots and my leather holster rig complete with dual PV holsters and spare atty & carto loops. The leather is glass shined black leather with quick-draw cutaway holsters formed for 6v. Heavy weapons; but a town gone wild like this will need everything I can carry and then some.
.
I put on the uniform I left behind with a sense of dread for what is to come… Am I too old and slow for the coming conflict? Will I fail to protect all the good Fishigan fisherfolk from the evil and greed that is descending on our little hideaway? My past haunts me… its why I came here. To never draw my V in anger again… To never go puff to puff with another joose slinger, but as always, the trouble finds me and its my job to put an end to the madness and destruction.
.
At the bottom of the trunk is a velvet box and a old framed picture of a group of people wearing this very uniform. I pick up the frame and briefly stare at the image… We all thought we were fast and tough enough until… I close my eyes and push the memories away – for now. Setting the picture back down with care I lift the velvet box and open the lid. Inside is a bright gold star with the word “Sheriff” engraved on it. I pin the star to my chest and rise, checking the charge and load of each 6V PV as I slide them into my holsters. Turning to the mirror and gaze at my reflection: am I still this man? Can I do this again? Turning to the door, I grab the handle and give it a turn & pull... I step out into the sunlight.***
.
Only one way to find out – watch out folks! There’s a new Sheriff in town!

Who is this I see coming down the path? Wow, looks like a sheriff, didnt know there was such a thing within miles of here.
Wonder what he could possibly be doin in this neck of the woods hidey fishin hole.

We already got a thievin game warden , hope this sheriff isnt more of the same. Wait !!!! , that is no sheriff, that is our own ChrisKY. Whats he wearin that uniform for ???

I swear they done all gone nuts around here ! Not to mention that there isnt a jail for miles and miles around here anyway.
Hmmmm, wonder if ChriskY has been at Ms Bonnies Ms Walker again ? She would put up one heck of a fight if he tries to confiscate that one!

Time to get the popcorn and Auntie Ms and wander down to get a stump and watch the action ..................

@NCLady..........How is ya? I was wonderin where ya was an all and I missed ya.........so good to see ya here at the honey hole.............did you see there is a new sheriff in town?

@Preacherman Hy...........well.............that be might bit too much figgerin for me...so ...........if you says......it is 42.98 .............then I believes ya...........you Godly peoples never tell lies.........or so a party told me...............

@Passerbyus.............NO WAY will you not be "the few"...........I have discussed at length with B.O.B. and put my 2 cents..................ahem.........$42.98 cents worth............in and well, you are special and will be the few...........I said you was in my $42.98 cents worth of talkin and I think B.O.B. feels you are "the few " as well

@Wolfie..........sad to see ya go for such a Loooooooong time, well,........someone will have to keep Missy warm, Maybe that BiancaMontgomery woman she is so sweet on

@chelseafan............ahem.............I have a very favorite nice named Chelsea and I am a big fan of her and so I am a Chelseafan............ahem........well...........not THE Chelseafan...........just a fan of a Chelsea..............and now two.............uhmmmmm...........cuase I like smart people and you want the KBV joose and so you is smart

@Ciego...........I see your point............ahem............*No......... not the sticks point*.........but I also see the point of the one tastin............back when I was a lil vaper and all, we had Dekang or Dekang with someone elses label on it. All I could taste was heavy tobaccos and caramel. Not everybunny.......*OMG(Not the joose) visions of white rabbits dance in my head*...has taste buds that are the same and B.O.B. aims to please an all and if they want it they will get it..........my concern is that sometimes MORE flavor makes a joose change flavor due to the extra repeated molecules of flavoring and the pH could be askew..........just my $42.98 cents worth

@Basementcat.........good for you gettin yer vittles..............(Shh, don't tell nobody) but I beta tested some fine flavored rice puddin vapin joose KBV mixed up and I vaped the 3ml bottle dry in an evening and am feigning for more..........MUCH MORE............ahem.........*Prays to Gos B.O.B. reads this and takes the hint*..........an ounce in 12 mg would be ever so lovely.......it would..........tasted like the little rice beads was really in there an all and the condensed milk and the creaminess and the Grandma just made it and it is warm and creamy...........*sob, sniffle, boo and a hoo......why, why do I always love the tiny bottles to their empty death?..........why?.................oh woe is me without the rice puddin to vape tonight with my TV breaking on Super Bowl sunday (the 72 incher) and watchin on a 37 inch an all and now this? an empty 3ml bottle smellin of goodness and screamin at me.............YOU WANT ME, YOU WANT ME, YOU WANT ME..........it is Horrid.........simply horrid...........*

Pass the popcorn please..........I feel a new episode of Dont ya just hate comin on..........or a Novella chapter.............HHHhhhmmmmmm

Think Mr. Jelly Man is gonna give the game warden a run for his money! Speaking of game warden, where has Mr. DLite been? Think maybe "the new sheriff" might have scared him off already?

Bonnie, I do believe that preachermen have been know'd t'spin a tale or two. I kin slap a knee with the best of em from time to time.

in any case.... I'm .... uhm.... hangin' on yer every word ..... beit a Novella chapter .... or ... uhm..... uh .... that "Dontcha just hate"......
btw.... are you plannin on publishun this here novella?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

<cheesy jingle music plays the song "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was Hot like me"*

Good day all Honey Hole friends and welcome to KBV Radio..........The Kick bass sounds of the old , the new and the 48.95 cents worth.......And Now........a big round of applause for your hostess with the mostess *load of carp*.........Bonniegirl

<insert canned applause and cheers>

Good Mornin friends...........hope you are all keepin your keesters warm this fine mornin in Fishigan U.S. Of A. Well.....for todays Dontcha just hate...........we are going to discuss the dying art of customer service. I recently wrote a letter to the editor of my small town newspaper and 2 months later, it has yet to be printed. In essence the letter stated that the art of customer service is becoming extinct IMO. With large box stores, chains such as Wally world and the like....customer service is defined as "I am here to check you out, You are lucky I am here, I am doing you a favor, you are taking up more than your allotted 12 seconds of my time and Is it time for my break yet ." This "New World Order" of "service" *and boy is that term used loosely,* has changed consumerism forever. When I was a lil tacker and it was nearing school time after summer break, Grandmom ...*yeah, the meaner than cat poo one*......took me and my two sisters to the shoe store. We got measured, given new shoes tied up with string around the boxes, a lollipop and we knew the salesmans name. Today, shoes are displayed on shelves and when seeing one you like you begin a serious GPS search for someone that looks like a salesperson, ask for your size in a guesstimate and are then handed a box from a back room. After trying the shoes on and realizing the feet grew another size *or the made in china tag inside is wrong*.....one must turn the GPS on again to relocate said salesperson who will look at you with disdain and puff the air out of their lungs in a long audible sigh and stomp off to the abyss of a shoe room to fetch the asked for size. All of a sudden, he reappears with three boxes and deals them out to you and two other waiting hostages.......uhhmmmm........customers. Buying shoes has become a safari of sorts. The searching for the prey, the loading of the gun and the snagging of the catch. You see, all of the above buying problems are my fault. I forgot the salesman is tired because he is after all eighteen and had been playing playstation three till 3am and had to come to work at 10am. He is sleep deprived and tired. I should feel sorry for him. Another problem is he has cruel parents.....*the unusual sort*.........that MADE him get this job he hates. He did not choose this for himself, he was made to do it. I also forgot he is hungry because he had no time to eat breakfast before work. I am also rude enough to prevent him from taking the three text messages on his I phone because he had to make another trip to that black abyss of a shoe room.
Geez.........Next time I will try to remember to bring a fluffy pillow, breakfast and assist him to lie down on the shoe trying on bench and go in the black abyss and get my own shoes. So, Gee, Dontcha just hate when you are rude to the salespeople? Lets all try to remember they ARE doing us a favor by being there with little sleep, food and against their will. Oh, BTW, never interrupt an important text message sent to the salesperson, it is just down right rude.

We would like to thank our sponsor Bee Oh Bee from Kick bass Vapor.........E-liquid of handmade premium quality at a fair price, where he won't keep your 2 cents change and he will never be "bothered " by a customer. Get your Kick Bass Vapor today.

<cheesy jingle music ends programming>

Pass the popcorn please..........

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

@Bonniegirl; excellent points made! In my days I was an instructor; one of the courses I taught was customer service...oh the stories I can tell about that class and what these young kids thought! I resorted to reverse roll playing so they can actually be in the situtions these 'kids' put customers. That changed their minds a bit....for a day or two, then it was back to they're 'normal' behavior.

Another "Dontcha just hate" is people saying "I get no respect" (hey Rodney, we still love you for the jokes)...I would blow away my employees when they'd complain about another employee saying they were owed respect, and I'd say...'No one owes you respect just because of the position you hold, you earn respect. I may respect the position held, but that doesn't mean I respect the person holding that position". Yes, there is a certain respect our parents taught us and that's all fine and dandy, but these days some think that respect is automatic, regardless of the AH you may be.

Bullet
I feel credentialed enough to lend my 48.98 cents worth on that question. I shall answer yes and no.
Yes, the nic content can change the taste of the juice if the quality of the said nicotine is of lower standard. Some nicotine being used by the e-cig community is not pharmaceutical grade and in extraction chemicals are used. Those chemicals "emit" an odor which olfactorally translates to a change is taste sensation. Additionally, older nicotine will "tan" as time goes on to a pink tinge and then to red which emits an even more pronounced flavor change. So, Yes, the chemicals used to extract the nicotine can change the flavor with inferior nicotine products. As a former.....ahem........recovering DIYer, I have used much nicotine and many vendors and the nic used by Bob is of the purest and highest quality available from Levy at xtremevaping. It is crystal clear, tested for strength and purity and is a sound base for some excellent e-liquid. If you are using KBV flavors, the nic content should not change the flavor of e-liquid much.
The No of the answer should be qualified by a possible yes as well. In strengths greater than 18 mg, the nicotine itself will have a mouth hit which could stunt the ability to taste the actual lighter more delicate flavors. This is of no fault of the maker or the user, it simply IS. Much is said about the actual taste of nicotine and the nicotine does have a slight taste but the taste comes from the effect of the nicotine rather than the nicotine itself. Now this is IMHO only.
Of possible interest......and this is NOT opinion, a study was done at the University of Virginia and sponsored by federal funding and was well constructed and proved that e-cig inhalation of like to like nicotine contents of analogs produced a 50% lesser amount of blood available nicotine than an analog. So......if one were vaping 24 mg nicotine per ml e-liquid....and vaped .5ml nicotine over a period of an hour, twenty minutes later, the blood level should be 6mg or 1/4th the amount. The study showed the amount actually in the blodstream was only 3 mg. Many in the e-cig activism community felt this study was negative press for e-cigs. IMO as a nurse and as a vaper, I am happy with this finding as it solidifies my stance that we, as former analog users and addicts, are addicted to far more than the nicotine and many could vape lesser amounts for most of their vaping day and save a small amount of higher nic for craving periods.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the makers of the finest e-liquid with the highest quality of nicotine available, Kick bass Vapor........let us Lure you in.

The opinions presented here are in no way a reflection of the opinion of KBV........the former sentence is a joke folks......you know....the programming and all............oh well........if it ain't funny, it ain't a joke .............nm

Short answer....like it at 24mg..........will love it at 6mg

@Mini...........I resent..................uhhhmmmm............represent that comment

@bullet.............nice tah be stokin the fahr wid a smart questioner.........instead of a questionin smarty pants



Pass the popcorn.....I am waitin on the cartoons............jelly man should be here soon with "The Jelly Man Says" or as I like to call it................."As the jelly shakes"............or "As the jelly Rolls"................and then another episode of the KBV Novella...........and UGH.........Thanks be to God *lookin around for the preacher man*..........for DVR.......so many good shows and so little time.

Welcome the the hidey honey fishin' hole.. You will always hook ya a keeper ...pull ya up a stump by the fire, and have ya a vape, and some marshmallows!

************yay wolfie.. welcome home pup

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

And Now, a new edition of Jelly Man Says, with your host Jelly Man!
.
Morning all you fine Fishigan fisherfolk! Hope this day finds you all well and thawed… I have no new reviews today, so I think we will discuss an issues that is near & dear to my heart – PV abuse!
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Whether we admit it or not, all of us know or have known a PV abuser. Come on… the person that NEVER blows out his/her attys? Never cleans the joose junk out of the threads or gives those batters a good alcohol wipe down… We all know the type! They want you to try this new flavor and just hand you their PV… Eeeww! First – I am not putting my lips on YOUR drip tip! Second – I now can shake my hand and not drop this eGo! You push the button and hear a crunching sound… Well, this HAS to stop!
.
No more can we turn a blind eye to and ignore this behavior! Each year, thousands of PVs die an early death, sent to that big vape meet in the sky due to this negligence and abuse. Attys wiped out in their prime, clogged with inferior joose and left to set in the console of a 1992 Buick in the hot sun until tey are baked into a hunk of obsidian. eGo, Vgo, Riva, Hello, and KR808 batteries dripping joose from their threads screwed into a charger and fried into paper weights.
.
We MUST make our stand now! Make these sick individuals take responsibility for their actions and realize the pain they are causing. It’s not their fault really… Incomplete or nonexistent care instruction…. finicky attys that cannot be cleaned without failing… Misleading information on the web from so called experts - PV abuse is an illness and can be cured with the proper treatment program and the support of others that have been through the same thing you are going through.
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If you or someone you know is a PV abuser, call 1-888-cleanit NOW… Operators and counselors are standing by to take your call. You do not have to suffer alone, Call NOW!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

**Throws rotten tomato at Jelly man...misses horribly...**

"Turn a blind eye?" Yeah, well up your nose with a rubber hose, bud.

**Hurls another rotten tomato**

And for all you weather-whiners, it was 3 below zero when I awoke this morning, and it will get down to 17 below tonight. Quit your namby-pamby whining, dang it!

** Hrls another rotten tomato. Ciego is a terrible shot. The rotten tomatoes have colored the snow (which is up to his navel) a dark red...looks like blood was spilled...

**
And, to top it off, I'm fianlly out of Caramel Cappuccino. Now I have to go back to the Malty.

** Stomps around in disgust.**

Coffeemaker went crazy this morning, dumping a quart of gourmet coffee all over the kitchen floor. I slipped in said coffee and fell on my .... A KR808D-1 battery was in my back pocket. It snapped in half. I tried the Terran Spin (Thanks Lee Fart - is that how it's spelled?) and one of the strings on the battery bag untied itself; the battery bag with carto inside spun out of my hand, out of control and knocked a bottle of pills from the table, spilling them all over the floor. I had to call the pharmacy to beg for a refill of my blood pressure meds.

It gets worse. I smoked an analog this morning...first one in weeks. Smoked the little ....... right down to the Marlboro name. Coughed for 20 minutes, broke wind and well....let's say I'm doing some laundry, although it's tough to tell whether the stains on the back of my jeans were coffee or what...

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed.

** Tries to hurl another tomato at Jelly Man, squishes the tomato too hard in his right fist, is now wearing tomato juice. Runs from the fire circle in disgust...face-first into the .....
willows.... again.

Good mornin' all. Jus' gonna sit here on a stump and vape a little Caramel Cap. Looks like the fire has been a little neglected. I'll put another log on. Man, it's chilly here today. Gotta be down around 62 deezgreez at my end of the Fishigan hidey hole. (sorry.... just had to rub it in alittle..... good naturedly of course...)

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella Volume 69, chapter aaahhh who cares!
***The new Sheriff walks down the trail from his cabin toward the campfire… Time to put an end to all the Joose thieving, PV exploding, .....…willow molesting, littering, and general disturbing of the peace. My hands naturally drop to me dual polished black leather double cutaway fast draw PV holsters and my 6v mods. Approaching the campfire I see the preacher man HyOnLyph, Wolfatthedoor curled up in the bark-o-lounger and Ciego trying to juggle tomatoes (poor blind fool – just making a mess). The ground around him is stained red along with the near by trees that he hitting with tomatoes.***

I guess I better deputize that boy before he gets into more trouble!

***At the campfire I begin my investigation of the events at the Honey Hidey Hole with all the usual suspects. While trying to ascertain the whereabouts of the lame…eeerr…gay… Game Warden Dlite that has caused such a ruckus, a smell drifts my way. Not just a smell, but THAT SMELL… Could it be? Here at Lake Fishigan? Noooo Not here! Not the bane of all lawmen everywhere… NOT THE DOUGHNUT SHOP!!!

All concentration gone, I cannot resist the pull… yummy, sweet paisteries are calling my name, like the sirens of sailors lore – a song that cannot be resisted. I search for the nearest mod of transportation since my Harley-Davidson DOES NOT come out of its warm safe garage when there is snow on the ground and can only find boB’s old huffy bicycle with the blue basket, raccoon tail, and cards in the spokes. Well, beggars cannot be choosers. I peddle like a man possessed down the trail, letting my nose and the irresistible aroma guide me until I see a beautiful vision… An oasis in the snow and ice… The KBV Doughnut Shop. Bait, and Tackle!

I pull boB’s trusty Huffy into a parking spot and replace the handicapped only sign with a Official Police Only parking sign (always have to be prepared) and go to the door. Inside I see Mini and yssiM behind the counter lined with a display case of delicious doughnuts and the coffee brewing on the back counter… Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be… WHO CARES! DOUGHNUTS AND COFFEE!

I am HOME!

.

Hello, my name is Maisri, and I'm a PV abuser...(this is the 12 step program, right?)

...and I figured I'd find that danged ol' Sheriff at the donut shop! Can't never find a good law offensement official when ya need one around this fishin' hole! Sheesh!

*Bonniegirl peers out of the ole stump and a fly buzzes past her whiskered mole and lands upon her bulbous nose..........twitchin the nose ignites the fly to buzz to other sniffers elsewhere..........She shivers from the cold winds coming off the lake and through the .............ahem.........willows....*well, everyone can get a frog in the throat*.........and into the very stump hole which is where Bonniegirl finds her rest and peace and comfort. It has been a weary and cold night and the winds....*no, not from the Ciego drawers....from the nature*.......were so very cold. Among the cold winds and icy exterior is the wonderful wafting odor of fresh baked yumminess.........gooiness.........icingess...........cinnamoness..........it is............uhmmmmm........*workin the sniffer real good*...................it is Doughnuts! OMG(Not the joose) it is the yumminess of Crumb donut(YES, the joose) .....but who would be vapin a crumb donut joose here this mornin?.........at break neck speed, Bonniegirl assembles the bosom and all her belongings..........*FFS, I know you know what is there*...........and pats curlers just so to arrange any loose stragglers of hair and climbs out of the stump. Right hand armed with PV full of a nice clearomizer full of tootsie and left hand with her "right hand of life", Ms Walker..........she takes a long swig and reassembles the cap to prevent spillage and or any dust or flies from defilement..........She then looks around and sees Wolfie in the barkolounger, Preacherman HY and a dummy..........*WTF(Not the joose) is he doin with a man sized dummy named Tracy?*...........She begins walkin the path around the fire pit and the odor of doughnuts becomes more pronounced and her sniffer does a GPS toward the waftin odors.........down the hill, through the ..... willows, over the pile of disassembled P.E.N.I.S. and A.N.U.S Ciego the manics inventions and up to a new building...........She notices a huffy..........*OMG(Not the joose) who still has a huffy with a card in the spokes? That is sooooooo eighties*...........speaking to self aloud*

Well I be all get out........dat dare bike dun give me a vision of bin fifteen agin..........dat nice boy dun give me a ride on dah handle bars an den we was goin real fast an all an well he werent a good driver an all an we fell an he said he was sorry fer hurtin me an he was nice an all..........hey Lookie here at this here new place we got at the honey hole.........a new bait and tackle and coffee shop............Yep, it shure be a doughnuttin shop if'n it got the poh-lice dare. dey loves them doughnut shops and the mailmens do too.

*bonniegirl steps inside to find Chris KY in a boy scout uniform with a plastic badge attached sideways onto the shirt.........the badge says Shareif.......she looks at it with head turned sideways and lifts her eyebrows *which are as thicK as the briers along the path and just as wirey, too*

Ky.......you jelly eatin jelly man.........whatcha think ya is doin in dat dare get up? Ya thinken ya is a lawman? Dat dare is a Boy scoutin uniform an all, see dem badges?..........Look lahk ya was a good at the sewin and the cookin and the tent buildin and what is dat one dare fer? OH, dat be da knot makin one...........ye ain't no more a lawman dan dis here Ms. Walker is a girl scout. LOL(Not the joose, yet)*She is belly laughing aloud and all gather*.........Mini and Missy ..........ain;t dis dah funniest thing ya ever did saw at this here honey hole?.........Dis here KY slow pokin Jelly man is a thenkin he is a lawman ........a share if........in a boy scoutin uniferm...........dag nab if dat ain;t the most hilriously thing I ever did see...........*Bonniegirl uses her PV like a gun and says aloud*..........POW, POW..........ya is dead...........D.E.A.D...........LOL(yep the laughter)............Jelly man I cin always depend *NO not the undergarments*..on you fer a good laugh er two.you is shure a funny one.........
Hey Mini cin I have somma dat Joe an a nice crumb doughnut pleeze? I will pays ya whin mah check comes on the third.........dat be alraht?


Pass the popcorn please?

***as I set at the counter in the new doughnut shop, enjoying my just desserts and nice cup of Aunt M’s a chill wind rushes through as the front door opens. Before I can even turn, the smell of Mrs Walker about knocks me from my set***

Ahhh Bonnie!

*** I turn to look and in staggers BonnieGirl; curls a mess, flowered house dress askew, Mrs Walker in one had and flooded PV in the other. She staggers up and proceeds to swaying and pointing making slurred protestations that cannot even be interpreted. Pointing at my badge and uniform… then she points her PV and makes a Bang Bang sound!

Oh boy she she waxed… I guess I will have to do some Police work after all. Everyone in the new doughnut shop is staring at her with a look of pity, Poor Bonnie… Mrs Walker done got the best of her. I guess I need to take her into custody for her own protection.***

Bonnie – that’s enough of that! Lady you are so snookered you cannot even stand up straight! I am afraid I am going to have to arrest you for Drunk in Public. Now put that bottle done and turn around… I am going to have to handcuff you.

***I handcuff Bonnie and then wonder how I am going to get her to the police station in town on a Huffy! Well… This should be interesting – I REALLY have to get me an ATV or something!***

.

.

SmokingBullet can attest to the fact that we ride ATVs around this here hidey hole.

"WTF!" *dodges something red flying at him through the ............willow. * "I'll BBIAB (most likely not a joose), I have to take my ATV.... err Huffy to the PO (I'm not POed BTW, and BTW (might be a joose) that's a ballon in them spokes Bonnie not a card you keep getting things minx upped!"

"When come back and hope that new Jelly man Sheriff has order restored to the Hidey Hole, but for now I am shipping (not a vessel) and a lot of you should have tracking"

***Escorting. a handcuffed and struggling Ms Bonnie out of the new doughnut shop, I am still contemplating how exactly I am going to transport my prisoner to the jail house, I see Ciego coming down the trail. Well… No time like the present! Kill two birds with one stone. I always say… ***

Ciego! Come over here! Ciego – we has a bit of a problem… you see, I am the law around here now and we are gonna have to come to an understanding. I know that you can’t help yourself with all the inventing and such, so I am going to make you a deal. I want you to be my Deputy, that way we can at least use the creative little mind of your for a purpose.

So raise your right hand and repeat after me…

I, Ciego, do solemly swear to uphold the vaping law… never to steal the joose, never to use unprotected batteries in a mod, always use HV atties at over 5v, clean and maintain you mods regularly, and otherwise be a good little vaper.

OK… you are now Deputy Ciego!

***I hand him his badge – not going NEAR his thong and give him custody of the wiggling cussing prisoner.**

Take this one to the jail in town and out her in the drunk tank until Judge Riley gets in… Maybe he will know how to dry her out. I am all about a little of the Mrs Walker, but enough is enough! Not gonna tolerate disrespecting of the law.

.

Oh no I'm Unsure how to contact Fishbourne and associates! I gotta BeatNic outta here to the PO because I am not Unsure I got most everyone mix and tracking sent and it won't do any good if they aren't dropped off

TTYL (not yet a joose, may never be a joose)

*heard from the pokey at Fishigan County detention lock-up*

No I chain't a ma'm....I chain't ya momma needer......Dis here be a mistake of all sorts of ways...........I want mah last rahts.....uhmmmm........I wanna speak ta da preacherman Hy......he be de only one what knows I is a good and God lovin woman and fer da life ah me I dunno how dat dare boy scoutin uneeform and a plastic star badge dun gave him *that slow pokin, jelly rollin, high falutin, full ah hisself ,excoose of a man* dah raht ta jest takes a woman from her home an all an put her here wid all uh dese here criminals.

*a mysterious woman/man with many tattoos, a mohawk and a leather belt with studs and a collar to match approaches Bonniegirl........Bonniegirl eyes her top to bottom and side to side*

Ain't choo got no kinda respectin fer dah law an all? What is ya doin wid dat dare dog collar an all?

*Suddenly......Big Pat....*Or so she/he is known as *..........comes closer and eyeballs Bonniegirl and spits in her face and tells her she is a no good drunk homeless woman that belongs in the funny farm*

Well, you ain't da first dun tole me I is a funny one an all an well ya looks lahk ya is perty mad an all an I was a wonderin did ya want ya a lil of the Ms Walker cause I got me some raht cheer in me bosom.........*pulls small flask of the emergent supply of the Ms Walker and other things such as PVs and batts and attys and cartos fall upon the cell floor.......next thing ya know both Big Pat and Bonniegirl are drinkin and vapin in the cell and mess time is called and both enjoy their bread, water and mystery meat along with the delicious vapor of Kick Bass e-liquids.........*Which all know will take even the prison blues away*

*Bonniegirl whispers loudly to Big Pat*

Dat dare shar-eef wid dah boy scoutin uneeform is needin a lesson er two and his looney pardner dat Ciego......well, dey is double trouble.............we has tah do sumthin fer the sake of the Ms Walker drinkin world............wouldya hep me?


Pass the popcorn please..........this should get the jelly man a rollin

*heard from pokey very loudly*

Bullet come an git yer Bonniegirl outta dis cheer place wid dah rats an dah mean folks an all...........Boo and Hoo and sob and sniffle and hep me..............wont cha hep a frien?

*swings down from zipline across lake and makes a big splash in the 80 degree weather*

***Standing in the shadows outside the county lockup... watching the comings and goings.***

Something is up... I can feel it! I know that BonnieGirl is gonna try something before morning when she is gonna see the Judge Riley. I'll just keep a watch tonight.

***pulls out trusty PV and makes himself comfortable for the night - Eyes peeled... drip,drip,drip... good Aunt M's KBV to keep me company.***

*Bullet slips on her black leather pants, a black turtleneck and black leather jacket. She bends over to reach for her knee high boots…gosh I don’t remember these pants being this tight…must be all the crumb donuts and monkey bread…pulls on her boots, zips up her jacket and places her Bell helmet over her tussled hair.

Nobody has the right to take Miss Bonniegirl just cause she’s likin her Ms. Walker…hell she takes care of Ms. Walker as if she were her own kin…Miss Bonnie doesn’t hurt no one, she’s kind, and she’s always lookin out fer us…I gotta get her outta that cell before someone takes to her like a mother and wants to suckle her….I mean vape what she’s got hidin in her bosom.

Vroom…vroom….Bullet starts up the biggest Wolverine ATV made. She smiles knowing the power she’s straddled….big bore kit, aftermarket cam and a hell of a set of pipes….bad bass knobbies and big metal grab bar…..Don’t worry Bonnie, I’ve got a 3/8” cable, a big metal grab bar and I’m a comin fer ya….one click of the 4WD, a hit on the thumb throttle and stand clear…..I’ll have ya outta the gray bar hotel in no time…..oh yeah, I’ve gotta an extra helmet fer ya Bonnie…cause the way we gotta cruse you’re gonna need it…..*

Bullet screams down the wash board road full throttle….damm this is hell on my tires, I gotta get to Bonnie before that Sheriff gets drift of what’s coming down…her mind running as fast as her bike….sheriff’s gotta a new thong wearing deputy….wonder if he likes the feel of soft leather?

The ice cold wind bites through Bullets leather as she speeds to Bonnies rescues….if all goes according to plan I can have Bonniegirl out in a matter of a minute or two….got a fresh and pretty Ms. Walker waitin fer her at the stump next to the warm camp fire….Basementcat and WolfAtTheDoor are watching the fire…and got plenty of Tootsie ready…HyOhLyph is praying fer us to getterdone…..need to watch out fer that Maisri who’s hot on the sheriff and his boy scout uniform...the moon lights up the road into town and the cold wind is a howling like a WolfAtTheDoor….gotta get to Bonnie….gotta get to Bonniegirl….

Sittin at the campfire tonight thinkin about Ms Bonnie dragged off from the coffee and bait shop this mornin by the new sheriff
Sure Bonnie gets a bit too friendly with that Ms Walker from time to time but she is a good hearted soul and a darn smart one when her and Ms Walker arnt communing back at the stump.

Is a shame for her to be stuck in a cell with who knows who or who knows what .
I see the preacher man is mumblin something over there, sounds like he is prayin hard.

Whhoooooo what was that speeding bullet going down the old washboard road! They is a flying!! Who can it be???

I sure hope that they know that there bridge down there gave out this morning and isnt fit to cross with a mule let alone
and machine goin that fast ! .................................

I AM! That neckercheef and all those merit badges get me all a flutterin and flushed! I just love a man in uniform!

...even if he wuz mean enuff to lock up poor ol' miss Bonnie, and all for lovin' her Ms. Walker...can't slight a woman for that, ya know?

Bullet come speeding around the corner…what!? The bridge is in pieces…can’t do this…unsafe……Bullet’s veers off the road down into a terrine, flying over rocks and bolders…..she’s almost bounced off the bike as she goes through obstacles, downed trees and limbs wiping her and tearing through her leather...she holds on to the bike and lets it take control…trust the bike…trust the bike…she bounces frantically barely able to hold on as the bike speeds down the cliff…she reaches the bottom… then jams the bike up the hill to the other side…thinking how will I get back with Bonnie on the bike…what am I gonna do?....

Pass the popcorn, hold on to your seats…how will Bullet get Bonnie back to the hidey hole?

*heard from the pokey*

No I ain't sweet on ya..................git offa me now..............I sent the bat radar out fer mah fren ole Bullet an she won be lettin me down.......................no, I ain't got no store money fer ya an I dont wanna play no cardin games..........hooch?
WTF (No not the joose) is a hooch.............ya ain't a callin me a hoochie is ya?..........cause I will be a ringin yer neck wid dat doggin coller ye git on...............I choke ya............I will..............ain't no womans or mans gonna mess wif me...........no way.no hows...............*Dangnabbit that boy scoutin poh-lice wanna be fool..........put me here wid dese kinda folks...........dese ain't no kinda folks tah be lendin on.............no way...................Boo and Hoo and sniffle and SOB and slobber and sniffle and another boo and a hoo*...............................BULLET IS YA COMIN??????????


pass the marshmallows, this is gettin good, set the DVR please.

*sends a small army made up of members of the MBR (not a joose) or the Masked Bandit Raccoons into the jail to cause confusion to let Bonnie out* Go little raccoons, run!

*then trots back to the bark o lounger and curls up on it, pretending he didn't do anything...just a sleepin wolfie*

Bullet come speeding around the corner…what!? The bridge is in pieces…can’t do this…unsafe……Bullet’s veers off the road down into a terrine, flying over rocks and bolders…..she’s almost bounced off the bike as she goes through obstacles, downed trees and limbs wiping her and tearing through her leather...she holds on to the bike and lets it take control…trust the bike…trust the bike…she bounces frantically barely able to hold on as the bike speeds down the cliff…she reaches the bottom… then jams the bike up the hill to the other side…thinking how will I get back with Bonnie on the bike…what am I gonna do?....

Pass the popcorn, hold on to your seats…how will Bullet get Bonnie back to the hidey hole?

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

*Preacher HyOnLyph walks into the shar...eef's office. Stares at that ol' KY feller... (no longer the genemans we thunk he was). Thinks to himself... gotta distract 'im long enuf for Bullet t' get er done. She should be here by now. I shoulda heard them pipes rollin' in. Looks over at the visitors window. One of them old round steel stools with a 2ft x 4ft plexiglass window in the wall ... a 1950's black phone with no dial on each side.... everything you can imagine smearing the window... sniffles n boos n hoos n spittin' n sobbin' n tears n more sniffles.... all smeared on the plexi... scratched so bad ya can't hardly see though it anymore from the hands and rings and smakin' that goes on and what not. *

That KY Feller.... "so, Preacher, I s'pose yer here to see Bonniegirl, I'll fetch her right up".

NO!!! I mean... uhm..... there's plenty of time fer that. So, (fiddlin' with my pocket watch n wishin' I'd brung the Elkhound t' eat this fool) So, KY whatcha been up to. (diggin m' toe into the floor)... uhm (dang where's that girl on the ATV..... we gotta get er done.) So .... uhm KY whatcha ... I mean.... why ya messin' with po bonniegirl? What's she done to you? (this is gonna take a while n' I'm not the best at deceptive conversatin'...)

*sits down with some popcorn..... this is gonna get interestin'*

Bullet lets off the throttle as she approaches the jail house...she cruses under the cover of the night trying to find the window of Bonnies cell…come on Bonniegirl give me a sign….Bullet sees an empty bottle of Ms Walker come flying out the window crashing to the ground…thata girl…I’ll have you out in no time…

Bullet notices a trash can, she reaches into her back pack, pulls out a flare, ignites it and pitches it into the can…..she idles around the backside to Bonnies window, with all her might throws a cable and hook catching the middle bars… hits the throttle… cable snaps tight, out pop the bars and Bonniegirl appears….jail break!!

Bonnie jumps onto Bullets bike…as they scream away Bonnie raises her hands in the air, one holding Ms. Walker and the other the bird…into the darkness they speed towards the hidey hole…..Bonnie reaches into Bullet’s back pack and throws out bottles of crumb donut, maple frosted rolls and monkey bread, knowing no man with a badge can refuse such a temptation. Off into the darkness they scream…..

Sorry guys I'll never get caught up reading I skimmed over to look for questions.

So we have a coffee shop, a new sha reef, a doughnut shop, jail cells, outhouses, a pair of stained underwear from something or other, a campfire, a dock (with or maybe by now again without rails), a lake, tomatoes laying around, bonnie's in jail, SmokingBullet is up to something........I miss anything while I was gone?

Someone let the cat outta the bag about KVB and the wolves are on the powell. Hopefully I didn't minx anything up and just figured I'd stop in to toss a log on the fire and say Hy.

International shipping not in place yet. KBV is officially on 48 hour turn around.

*yells to Hy as he flies by on honda 250R (88 to be exact)* "Hy currently we can obtain 80% Vg by using VG based nic" *sees the makeshift ramp left from the rubble of Ciego's A.N.U.S. and has to make a decision* ........... "this ole back may have one last jump in it."....... "If I hit the round spot on the A.N.U.S. I just may make that jump!"

*Guns it and goes for it.... thinking he'll do anything...well almost anything for bonnie* "OMG!" (not the joose) *as he flies through the air and lands right in the .....

willow.

"Imma need a Medic!"

*Approaches Bonnies Cell window that is bared up and locked tighter than chastity belt, Why hello there Bullet whats the problem.....Oh I can see now that there Ms. Bonnie got herself hemmed up once again. Hold on I'll help you get her out.....Pulls out a bottle of midget turd juice and pours a little around the bars.....Just wait now the toxic sludge from that there T.....Y V.....R midget turd juice will most def melt metal.....Puts hood back over my head and slowly walks off into the distance~

Wow, I.m not here for a day and everything changes. Came by for a little rest on my hallow stump and find all kinds of new building have been built, a new sheriff, Bonnie being busted out of jail by bullet (we didn't have a jail 24 hours ago), the cat got mean mean looking, a new coffee and donut shop (great idea Paramedics are like Cops, we love our donuts ), Bee Oh Bee is hanging upside down from the ...........
willows.
Okay Bob hang on, someone will help me get you down.

Morning Missy! We're not really all that crazy

*stalks Bonnie, Missy and SMoking*

get ready for it...
get ready for it..
are you ready?

*POUNCES and gives cold wet wolf noses and SLURPS, and runs away with a cackle*

LOL.........I lurves me some wet wolf noses hehehe

*** the sheriff watches Bullet and Bonnie ride away on that ridiculous four wheeled contraption and chuckles... Guess they did not notice the tamper proof prisoner location anklet Bonnie was wearing. Just turned Bonnie's night in jail for drunk in public into a federal evading justice offense. Now it is on the FBI's hands... Choppers, bloodhounds, and hundreds of agent gonna be trampling all over the Hidey hole after those girls... Regular Thelma & Louise now. Guess I am gonna kick back here at the Doughnut Shop and watch the fireworks. Those two done cooked there goose!

I wont be having me none of that in my honey fishin' hole!!!!!!! I'll pay em off in coffee and dognuts, and they can be on their way out!!!!!!!!

Ah yes mornin again. Nothin like a nice Auntie M's and a lovely monkey bread with breakfast, yum !
I better be off to the coffee/ bait/ tackle shop. Missy wants those curtains to have little red pvs all over them for the
shop and there is not such fabric I've ever seen so Imma gonna have to make it. Thats gonna take a while!

Strolling down the path from the cabin in the woods I see a light in the distance, wow its bright ! Wonder what that is ,
curiosity is getting the better of me . boB wont mind if i borrow this here bike with the raccoon tail on the back of it .

Off I go down the road toward this mysterious light , coming to the fallen in bridge I see that there is just one board still
attached to cross it. Looks a bit dicey, but I'll give it a try.

Wheew! that was a bit nerve wracking but it can be done on a bike!

Down the road a bit farther on the left I see the glow, the glow of a fire!! OMG the jail is on fire! Seems that someone left a turbo pv with unprotected batteries in it turned on in there! Darn thing blew and cought all the papers on the desk on fire and it spread to the rest of the jail!

Now who would do a darn fool thing like that ? Burned the jail right plumb to the ground !

I gotta find the sheriff, and I bet I know where to find his doughnut lovin self !

Off down the road on the trusty old bike and skidding up to the coffee shop , running in yelling sheriff ! The jail done burned down and I think u might be short a turbo PV!!

yssiM.....ahem...............about that there "secret" joose I be needin...................you has made a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG Mistake there!
Imma gonna be needin more dan a "LITTLE BIT".........................Both of those new "secret jooses" do not need no Beta testin...............tell Bee Oh Bee I will be takin a jug at a time...................never in my life has I ever tasted a joose so heavenly..................I go so far as tah say we should name it after our Mommas in heaven...........God rest their sweet sweet souls..........................That one I cried fer should be named Mommas angel wings......yepper...........that should be the name cause it is angelic.

*With all the commotion going on around here no one notices a dark clothed figure slipping out of the shadows and into a officers uniform, walking down a poorly lit hallway down into the Jail*

Bee Oh Bee
Basement cat got the right to has his own sweet spot. I likes his siggy very much and I think it is very nice for a sweet spot and I has a sweet spot. My sweet spot is Senior` Roberto Tekkiebahn or Seniorita Myberta TekkieMiss(My Tekk twins) with an Iken 801 shorty HV with KBV Tootsie.............ahem.................yeah it is Tootsie.......*Until I am allowed to talk about the new SECRET SPECIAL HEAVENLY joose flavor from KBV in R and D now*...........ahem................yeah............we all have our sweet spot. *OMG(not the joose), how long can I keep this from my friends at the honey hole?*........*gags self for protection as she has no self discipline to keep such BIG secrets*...................Can I just tell my friend Bullet? She did get me outta the pokey?................................K..................................(shhh)


.

Bullet sits on the stump next to Bonnie….. did ya hear what’s happened to the jail house? It burned down! The fire started from inside…seems the sheriff left his turbo PV on his desk which caught fire….the jail house has burned down!....MiniArt came running into the donut house to let him know! …… hehehehehe,…..the Sheriff doesn’t have any paper work on you, there’s nothing left…..no proof the sheriff got ya…nothing to prove you were even at the gray bar hotel!....Bonnie, you’re free…….

Pulls back up to the honey hole and unloads a 25 gallon gas can and cutting torch and puts them back behind the outhouses* *takes a seat and starts shootin tha breeze with Ms. Bonnie

*Bonniegirl is sitting on a mossy stump and discussing the horrors of incarceration in a way that only she could as her point of view is........well..............her point of view.............is.........uhhhmmmm..........well it is just plain different as she is irreverent and sometimes logical and honest to a faulty brutality.........Bullet, her long time.*Well, OK, since KBV started anyhow* friend and companion and confidante and possibly the only person on earth who may really KNOW her or at least recognize her point she aims to get at.....*Not that stick point.......the white wabbit one, the point of the point*.........for, as we all know by now, sometimes even Bonniegirl herself may not know where her thoughts and thus the words that trail(NOT the crossfire) after those thoughts are headed. There is a comforting atmosphere between the two friends, always knowing and not needing to say......always assuming and never needing an assurance........They are just plain friends and well.........ain't that what the honey hole is for?.................*

<Camera focusus on the downtrodden face of Bonniegirl, the mole with the two wires......uhmmmm...hairs...and the bulbous nose and the skin leathered from wind and sun and sea and well..........ahem............possibly the Ms. Walker.........her eyes are covered with the pair of hairy bushy awnings of eyebrows which need a hedge trimming and a tear is rolling from the left eye down the zipper club scar and into the crevice of the bosom and onto a battery>

Bullet.......I chain't never bin a treatin nobody dat way in mah life. I bin a good woman an all an dey jest took me an it was dat dare boy scoutin jelly man an he got that shoestring up his .... Ciego and tried tah pin a star ah dah share eef on em an he ain't got no clothes on an den dey dun taked all mah clothes off an I was a neked an all an dey taked dah Ms Walker an all uh mah stuff from dah bosom cept dat what was underneef and I never did tole em ah had eat dare an all an dey dont knowed it were dare and *sob, sniffle, Boo and hoo and another Boo* ...dat dare Pat.......was a HESHE kinda thang an it was a pawin on me an techin me in dem bad places an den dey all sayed we wuz tah go to dah showers an all an I member I seed dat show bout dem Natzies an I was a sceared uh what dey was a doin an dah food an all an dah bread it were all hard an crusty on dah places ain't posed tah be crusty an day say day got ya some oranch joose an ya cain't vape dat dare joose an I ruint 2 ah mah battries doin it an den dat fat one dare wid a stripin on hisself was dah boss an all an he sayed ya cain't smoke an all an I sayed I werent doin no smokin an I dont do no smoke an he laughed at me Bullet............*Sob and Boo and a Hoo and a sniffle*. An why does ya thenk dat all uh dem dare share-eefs is a fatty ones? Does ya ever thenk bout dat Bullet? Now Lookee dare at the hell of a pokey burnin tah da groun........dat dare is Gods workin....dat is.

*Enter the Lame.........uhhmmm.....gay.....*Nah, I ain't dat way, I raise the rainbow flag wid the best of them*........Game warden DLite*

Hey dare you beady eyed Warden........where was ya at whens I was a needin sum helpin wid dat new Boy scoutin share-eef? Hey, You looks like ya got sumpin up yer sleeve...........you is a sneaky one, ain't he Bullet?


Pass the popcorn and the marshmallows, this next Chapter should be a good one

whats up in the hidey ho fishin hole! woohoo

If I told you you may not stick around, it's been a Novella we've been on chapter 69, Page 69, Paragraph 69, sentence 69 and I think we're at word 70, if not bonniegirl owes you one.

Unfortunately you may have a hard time collecting because she's on the run from the law on an ATV with SmokingBullet. They're praying to the preacher man Hy, there's cats, wolves, and a Medic around here somewhere.

Just pull up one of those hollowed stumps and sit by the campfire and watch the fire. There's a nice view of the lake and the outhouses are down the way past the coffee shop and Doughnut place. welcome BTW (not yet a joose)

***Hy sneaks back to his lean-2 over by cascade feeding the lake. With all the comotion of the jailbreak.... I'm sure hopin' they think that ole KY genema... uhm .... feller wearin' that BoyScout uneeform n sporin' that ole share- eef badge... hopin' they's thinkin' he left his turbo PV on his desk which caught fire, which may or may not have turned itself on n such ..... no need them knowin' what really happened. Just glad to distract him long enuf for the breakin' out. Nope... no need anyone ever knowin'... whew that Bullet sure can ride like the wind n' sling a chain when needed. n Bonnie's OK.... no one nun th' wiser..... ****

*Bullet sits quietly listening to Bonnie……”Bonniegirl you lift that chin of your’s up and stop you’re crying….what’s done is done and there ain’t no going back….things have a way of workin themselves out….yeah they do…and don’t forget about Karma. Karma’s my friend and if she gets into town you all best look out cause she’s a ..... and a mean one at that….her and me’s been really good friends for a long time and we gotta past and we’ve traveled the world doing…doing…ah….. I can’t go into it just now…..So Bonnie you stand proud, cause you’ve never hurt no one…you’ve just been having a little too much fun with Ms Walker…sheriffs got nothin on you. Now you put aside what’s happened in that jail house…you get real mad and get over it….then you get even. I’ll be right besides ya along with the others”….
You can see the anger in Bullets eyes...why would the sheriff go after Ms Bonnie? Bonnie is as sweet as Butterscotch bon bon , she has a little bite like Cinnamon Danish delight but she’s as smooth as Caramel Capp….who set her up?
Bullet then remembers last night…she wonders bout the dark hooded figure who tried to help break Bonnie out…who was that hooded man? She never had a chance to say thank you….*

I didn't see a hooded man, but I did send in the MRB(not a joose) gang into the jail to distract folks so Bonnie could get out... I hope those raccoons are alright...There's only one masked raccoon bandit gang, so can't afford to lose any of them! they are kind of related to the opossum posse, so... if you see any of the little fellas, don't hurt them! but that's all I saw..

*POUNCES SB! and Slurps, then runs off POUNCES and Slurps Bonnie too, while the MBR(not a joose) gang steals the joose from Bonnie's bosomy hiding place and the wolfie scampers back to the bark o lounger and curls up on it all innocent like*

hehehe bad wolfie!

** Ciego, thankfully suffering from a head cold, addresses a group of troublemakers...**

Good afternoon, Skunk Squad. Tonight is the night we're gonna make a wee bit of trouble for that self-appointed dooshnozzle....er, sheriff. I've had enough of his high-handed hijinx. He blew up my A.N.U.S., for cryin' out loud. Hey, Fragrant...what are you laughing about? You think the thong is funny? Or maybe you think my A.N.U.S. (Armageddon Nicotine Use System) deserved to be blown up?

** A silence settles over the polecats in attendance.**

That's better. Now, keep in mind that old KY Jellybuns had the help of some tricky possums, and he has a tranquilizer gun.

** Waits for dismayed gasp from the skunks, is rewarded).

Yup, it's serious business. So here's what I need you good fellas to do for me. We're gonna take some of your musk and bottle it in recycled KBV bottles...then pull the old switcharoo on some of these miscreants, them so busy mocking The Thong of Destiny, the Bunny Suit of Doom and every other cultural enhancement I've tried to bring into their narrow little lives.

Wonder what a good atty full of skunk bim will smell like at 4.7 volts? Talk about yer sweet spot... heh heh heh heh.

Wolfie...come on over here and let me give you some belly rubbins.

Geesh, I disappear for a day, and the Novella turns into a "Thelma & Louise" movie! And what is even weirder is that I just bought the "Thelma & Louise" DVD for hubby cuz he never did see the end.....! That was one grrreat movie but saaad ending...hope Ms. Bonnie and Ms. Bullet (Spoiler Alert!) ride off in a different direction! Sunset=YEA! Plunge of a cliff=NO!

*hung in ..... willow for hours before being rescued by medic* "bonnie, Bullet and I talked as she towed my bike back last night, no worries." " I also had a talk with the share reef about this here being private property"

"I blacked out for a bit after slamming into the A.N.U.S. but it's coming back to me now" The new flavor will be in the hands of many soon it's going out with orders (not odors that Ciego mentions) This is a D.A.N.D.Y. (Delicious Amazing Never Done Yummy)

Hey ain't this here fire nice Bullet and wolfie?......*reaches in abyss of the bosom for the joose and reaches and fishes around and reaches and lifts the bosom to see if it is tucked and reaches around and checks other side *well it is breast cancer awareness......nah.........it is the heart attackin Month........nm*..Bullet..........you seed my joose roun here? Did I drops it whens we was goin like a FFF(Not a joose but is a frickin frightened frog) over dem hills and dales as we was a hittin dem dusty trails? *That one was fer you vets*........WTF(Not the joose) happening cheer? Sumthin is bein fishy and why is Bee Oh Bee a hangin from dat dare .........uhhmmmm.......willow tree?...................oh Good he felled down and is a walkin sos I reckon he be alraht...........*so longs as he cin mix dah joose is alraht*

***Standing behind the tree, I overhear that traitor Ciego going over his new plan. I tried to convert him from his evil ways, but no... Still wants to build Weapons of mass Destruction so we will give him a taste of how we treat wannabe terrorists! Plus tired of offending all our eyes with that thong! I did not want to use this, but I have a Writ of Immanent Domain that converts the Honey, Hidey Hole at Lake Fishigan into a National Preserve and therefor under Federal Law... Know some guys at Guantánamo Bay that would LOVE to talk to him! Got a waterboard with his name on it - Lets see how he likes a full body cavity search.

And behind it all is Dlite and his DeKangada organization that is polluting our amazing KBV joose with his midget turd and other poisons. This has to be part of a evil plot to corrupt KBV with inferior products to lower vapin morale to make us susiptible to inferior foreign jooses.

I pull out my phone and make the call...***

Operation Green is a go! They bought the fake arrest of Bonnie to bring the Warden out of hiding and his minion Ciego into the light. Pick them up and use any force necessary! if Fact, use any force NOT necessary!

Wolfatthedoor has their scent and can track them down.

Oooh, belly rubs!

*goes over to SB and rolls over to get the offered belly rubs* Hmmm, I think I'm supposed to be trackin down Ciego and the ex-game warden guy? Well, maybe it can wait for belly rubs, besides, if I track them down, I might have to see Ciego in a thong and I am not so sure I could survive that...

Walks in the shadow draped in a long midnight blue hooded robe watching the folks sit around the fire talking amongst themselves. Reaches out and drops a evelope with a KBVG wax seal then brushes the shoulder of Bullet and Bonnie. Walks back into the shadows of the tree's but before disappearing into the cloak of darkness tosses a few Prime Ribeye steaks around the area and leaves a partially burned Sheriff badge nailed upon a tree trunk with a Note attached. "Sheriff this is our forest and our honey hole and to show my gratitude I've left you a little something, I hope you like it. I tried real hard to figure out what it is you wanted most and this is what i've come up with, you'll find it right above this note but be careful dont touch it because the char will transfer to your hands and we cant have a sheriff runnin round these parts with dirt on your hands. signed Mr. Riley

Bullet looks to Bonnie….her head hanging down, resting on her bosom, snoring and snorting away…must be dreaming bout something good….Bullet covers Bonnie with a blanket, looks towards Wolfie all cuddled up in the bark-o-lounger, then puts another log on the fire for the night. All is dark….all is quiet….too quiet.

Bullets analytical mind rushing a mile a minute…Something just aint right with that Sheriff…use to be such a nice guy …bringing Ms. Walker to the hidey hole and all…that badge possessed him in some strange way…his friend’s aint his friends no more…no one can trust him.

That there warden got played like a fiddle a while back, acting all dumb as a door knob, talked into dressing up like a bear…acting sly and all…I feel there’s something more to him than he lets on…he aint as dumb as he seems. He’s always loved the hidey hole just as the rest of us…

Bullet stands to stretch…looks over her shoulder each way makin sure everyone is asleep….then kicks a log to make a loud noise….no one moves, no one awakes…all is good. She walks quietly to the tree trunk where a note and a burnt sheriff’s badge was attached and reads what was written…she looks above the note then smiles…..”Oh the sheriff’s gonna have to change his shorts after he sees this”…she nods her head in approval and looks out into the shadows of the trees….then whispers “You done good, thank you”…Bullet walks back to the camp fire, gets herself comfortable and warm, stares into the fire and thinks to herself….people do change given the right circumstances. She reaches for her PV and takes a long luscious vape of caramel capp….”it’s a good night”.

Done with sheep?............................Now that is just horrid.......ahem...........simply and udderly...........utterly Horrid.

wolfie
With sheep?
really?
HORRID
well not sooooo horrid for a wolfie, I guess......IDK

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

@sandy K...........You is one uh mah favor-ite womans too

And Now another episode of Dontcha Just Hate with your hostess Bonniegirl

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a news update from Cairo Egypt:

A small group of people via the internet have started a revolution on January 28th. This small group turned out hundreds of thousands to demand removal of the aristocratic governance of Egypt By President Mubarek. The people stood ground at Tahir square and as of this moment, announcement has been made that president Mubarek has left his position and fled the country. All of the people in tahir square are dropping to their knees in prayer and celebrating. This news is good for Egyptians who desire a democratic society but quite frightening to Americas national security. The question seems to be who or what will become the ruling faction in Egypt and many are worried that the new ruling party will not be as closely allied with our country.

*Bonniegirl speaks*
For more on this news and updates...........turn a deaf ear....if you don't care, or turn on CNN,MSNBC,FOX NEWS or the 45 other cable news channels for further details and as usual the pundits, professionals and news spun the way we are supposed to see it. I used to love Walter Cronkite. I never knew if he was a conservative or a liberal or an inbetweener. he was just a man reporting the news from all sides without comment or spinning a web of inuendo, lies, deceit and above all his own opined view. I like the news to give me facts that are solid, fair and can be quantified. I do not like "news" people that cry, call other people pin heads and patriots and I certainly do not want to be talked to like I have the I.Q. of an ant.........*well, they are pretty smart figuring out how to carry such heavy loads and building those tunnels and all.* Dontcha just hate news people that don't give news but give opinions? Instead of the bottom screen sayin..."BREAKING NEWS" it should say...."Breaking views" IMO. But, then again, I am a nobody.....I pay the taxes for the electoral college *whatever or whomever that is*........and the caucuses........*Well, IDK(Not a joose) WTF(Not the joose, but a good one)......any of that is. All I know is one must be able to read and write the English language in order to become a citizen of the U.S. of A and then we taxpayers pay for election ballots in 72 languages and I was wonderin the other day......If one does not speak English and is a Citizen and does vote..........where is that one getting their election information to decide whom to vote for? Dontcha Just Hate when things don't make sense to you and you know you did not just fall off the turnip truck?

Now back to the breaking news.............uhhmmmm..........Breaking Views..............uhmmm............well...........something is breaking.

Pass the popcorn.........this news is exciting.

see my siggy?............It is true, that margaret mead was no dummy.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

** After an abortive attempt to secure some skunk musk for the purpose of sabotaging the Sheriff's juice, Ciego is now bathing in tomato juice...**

Aw, crap! The skunks resented being associated with the destruction of such perfect e-liquid.

** Scrubs harder.**

Now, I have to bury yet another thong. This one smells like...well, skunk-.....

** Carefully buries clothing in a hole different from the one where the cheap bear costume and the burnt Bunny Suit of Doom are buried...**

I have made what I think is a good discovery about KBV juices. They work as well, maybe better for filling cartomizers than I thought. I had been dripping KBV juices directly on my 510 atomizer, but today in need of a cartomizer refiller, I used KBV juice...man, even polyfill doesn't mess with the great flavor of this juice. I have two going right now, one contains Auntie M.'s Coffee and the other contains OM (yes, the juice). Both taste great at the standard KR808D-1 3.7 volt level.

I have also have recently vaped Strawberry Slice Cake on my CigPig, using a fresh 808 carto. Fantastic!

** Dresses in warm clothes and snow boots, dons his parka, chopper mittens and eye goggles.**

Now, back to our ordering thread, which is already in progress... And BTW, thank you Mr. Riley. LOL

I can think of worse addictions... LOL

**Applies lotion to chapped hands, suddenly understanding what Mom meant when she said it would make him go blind if he didn't stop....**

*Sits out in the surrounding tree cover patiently awaiting the arrival of the sheriff to make his daily harassment trip with a late late birthday gift* *Eyes fixed upon the partially burned badge with thoughts of enjoyment as the memory of flames overtaking the sky and smoke over taking the wind put Mr. Riley into a state of accomplishment. Walks away off into the distance of the cabin belonging to Mr. Kickbass. Walks slowly to the door and tacks a note to the door with a KBVG wax seal.

"Mr. Kickbass your joOse is made of gold and have made many many life changing decisions. You've accomplished what others only dream about and have taken the masses away from their beloved vendors. Your goal of vapor domination has come full circle now to unleash the prized equipment and thrash and smash the sheriffs goals of making all us KBV junkies fall in line of his plans. With your secretive production of the Piggy Mixer and I controlling it we can achieve what everyone wants. Piggy on a roasting spit.
Signed the Mysterious Mr. Riley

Walks away from the cabin back into the cover of tree's and brush.................................

Hey all......Needing my bark O lounger for a bit ....I hope wolfie been keepin it warm for me i need to hang with my peoples and have me a vape of this nummy Momma's angle wings..... Ahhhhhh,,,so good... Where has that stressedOUT been?
That coffe dognut & bait shop sure kept me busy today. Feels good to be in my rocker!

Yep, I've been keeping it warm for you, so lay down and relax, its nice and toasty!

I envy you guys . . . I waited for the postman, today and . . . alas . . . no cigar. I checked the tracking number and it shows that my package was delivered! . . . BS! I was here when he came! So . . . they delivered my juice to the wrong address! I'm so ......, blood is shooting out of my eyeballs!!! Sorry for the rant, but I have been looking forward to trying this juice all week! This is really hard on an old man!!!!! . . . I have gone up and down the street opening mailboxes ( yeah, I know it's illegal ) and I don't give a big red rodent's ...!!! BUMMER!!!

Now this is horrid.........simply horrid..............I say we get together one of Wolfies posse pf possums and set up a sting op to overtake the lyin, thievin, beady eyed USPS.

I'll get them right on it... no better use for a posse of opossums!

I am stuffed like a piggy at a Hawaiian luau... don't ya just hate when you can't stop eatin even when you are stuffed to the gills!!!?? Applebee's sirloin topped w/ Parmesan and garlic shrimp is so nummy But man am I miserable right now! The bark O lounger is callin my name!!

*notices the absence of law enforcement decides now may be a good time to release some intel* "look for new exciting vape related products to be added to the site over the weekend"

Everyone that I've spoken with up to this point will be processed and mailed tomorrow. All orders from here on will not mail until Monday. Keeping a list and preparing them in order received. Have several slots remaining for Monday shipping. PM me for ordering or send emails to orders@kickbassvapor.com

***scratches wolfie behind the ears*** Hey pup ...stay outta trouble today!

anyone else have happy songs??

Mornin hidey hole campers !

Off to open the coffee/bait/tackle shop or yissiM this fine mornin. She is havin a well deserved breakfast on the bark o lounger this mornin.

Hi there wolfie u cute thing common I'll scratch your ears for ya and give ya a doughnut for breakfast .

Hi ho Hi ho its off to work I go ! Coffees on !

*Bonniegirl yawns, stretches arms above head...........gets a head rush..........*dang carotids.....gotta put that procedure on the frickin list below,1. order more KBV secret saucy, top secret, best joose in the wide world, 2. Order more of these wonderfully wonderful 801 cartos by Boge that KBV should carry in their tackle box among the 510s and 306s and 3. Order a new set of 1000 count sheet set *well, sleeping with a PV and a dog can be disastrous* and 4. Various other more important things than staying alive................ahem...............maybe I will put the carotids at number two.........cause without it I may not be able to enjoy the new cartos..........I am takin the KBV with me to heaven.............it is in my funeral plans.*..........

*she has a had a nice deep sleep and no horror dreams or nightmares of white ginormous wabbits or contraptions or life preserver/ female blow up Ciego friends............it has gotten a bit warmer and she is feeling rested and fiesty and is off to the bait/tackle/doughnut shop to see her sweet friends Mini.........Bosom prepared with Joose, attys, cartos, batts, extra PVs *just a few this time.......*OK, five*........chapstick, toilet tissue for the booing and hooing in case and drips from the refills, extra pair of undergarments...*OK, depends......who cares?*.........and she sets out along the winding path and sees Missy in the barkolounger by the fire scratchin wolfies tummy and behind his ears...*Lucky wolf.........hope bee Oh Bee don't see that*.........places fresh carto of secrecy protected new joose onto the Tekk and inhales a large plume of vapor and chokes and sputters and sighs and smiles and well...........*a good vape can sometimes choke one when they are greedy and take a 10 second inhale on 5 volts an all*.............OMFG(NO not a joose)...........that is one artistic, complex and delishiousful joose.....wonders aloud *as usual*............

Hey woner ware dat dare New jersey shorin stressed one is? and I is Unsure if Unsure is still a lawyerin an well........ain't seed hide nor hares uh dat one an party done tole me dat Ciego be goin away.........gonna be raht quietness widout em..........well....the ...............willows'll be a bit safe an all..........ah smells dah freshiness uh dem doughnuttys an dey is smellin good fer da mornin..........I hopes dat dare Mini will let me keep up mah tick ..........*that is ole timein for tab or credit for you youngins*..........I cin smell dat Auntie Ms Coffee too an well a crumb donut an sum coffee be what mah constitutional be needin raht now...........wuner what dat dare preacherman Hy gonna be preachin on tomorrow, caint miss dat sermon.........is gonna be a vapin good un.*

*Bonniegirl arrives at the Bait/tackle/donut shop and greets her friend Mini with a smile that nearly covers her whole face and makes her ill cared for teeth look all the more hideous, the mole is lifted with the smile to join the mole hairs with the bushes above the eyes and it is an unusual thing*

Top uh dah mornin ta ya Mini, ya is lookin all uh 39 years today an dat dare apron is so perty, ya is a breaf uh fresh air always smellin so clean an all an dat hair do is wunerful you bein a ex hairdressin one *an nearly kilt me whins ya was a rakin fru mah hair dat time an all*..........yep, ya is a site fer the sorest uh eyes............cin ah git a coffee and a crumbly donut an pay ya on the third uh dah monf?


Pass the creamer please, this coffee is too dark an this Novella is gonna git good today.I feels it in mah bones....dey is all achey an all..............oh, anyone got any linament fer the bones an all?

Hey where is dat dare share-eef? I shure is missin his self.......I no want no swap mah KBV jooses from mah bosom.......dey is all mine ......well, ceptin if a person be a needin sumpin an all an is in a vapergency an all............How is ya NCLady?

Hey Bullet>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I sees ya down that dare hollow.

I am sure I see unsure ...........howdy Gil! ...and a dusty dragon! some pledge will clear that right up!

Notice:
Law firm of Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait has been under investagation for alleged crimes such as jury tampering, falsifying testimony, providing false evidence and other unfounded, baseless accusations. Rest assure that once a judge has the cease-and-desist order overturned we will be back to represent KBV with all legal matters.


Law firm of Fishburn, Flounder & Flutterbait INC.

***Sheriff KY looks around the campfire and sees that all is quiet and calm... yssiM is in her Bark-o-lounger with Wolfatthedoor in her lap. Wonders over to the cabins and sees HyOnLyph in his rocker on the porch talking to SandyK and a whole group are gathered at the Coffee Shop. BonnieGirl, Mini, boB, and SmokingBullet are all hanging out at the counter talking about todays catches...

No sign of Dlite or Ciego and their plots and schemes - All is right at the honey hidey hole. Time to kick back at the fire with a fresh atty and some Nutty Uncle KY and enjoy the fire.***

in the hidey hole in the hidey hole lalalalala marching along the hidey hole lol raising my stick with a marshmellow

** Ciego moves quietly to the fire and finds a log on which to sit.**

Sure is quiet around here. The midnight hush has settled over the lake, which glistens under the bright stars above.

I like it here at Lake Fishigan. Folks are pretty good, except for maybe that sodomite....er, sheriff. I even like that nutszoid game warden. The drunk chick is getting to be a little much...lordy, I sure hope she doesn't exhale into the fire. The exploding alcohol fumes could blow the outhouses to Mars.

** Vapes a mouthful of OMG...the Juice) **

Now *this* is satisfying. All I need now is a cocktail and a lovely female to share it with. Feelin' kinda lonely and ignored tonight.

** Pulls out a harmonica and gently blows a sad, bluesy tune.**


Oh well... I guess there's always Manuela la Palma and her five sisters....