The KBV Novella-- Complete and Unabridged

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella: Chapter 69, part 71 (that's 69 with two fingers...of Ms. Wlaker...)

Hearing the commotion and the unmistakable tones of KBV Radio's former weather bimbo, Ciego makes his way to the Coffee, Bait, Tackle and Cute Little Lanyard Bag shop to get a steaming cup of coffee and to check out the local gossip.


Damn Mr. Coffee. He *had* to have that sex change and now can't drip for squat...or is it squats to drip? If I don't get a caffeine fix, I am going to be owly for the next three weeks...

** He enters the coffee shop and runs face-first, literally, into the bountiful bosom of Bonnie Girl.**

Oh, excuse me ma'am. Smelling a strong fishy odor, he turns his head and smiles...**

Good morning, ladies.

** Although Bonnie is the only lady in the shop at the momennt.

Look Ms. Bonnie, I know we've had our differences, but it looks like that weather witch has returned to Lake GFishigan. You know the old saying, "The enemey of my enema is my friend..." or something like that. You and I oughta make a little truce, then a battle plan to send her back to the strip club...er, adult entertainment venue from which she came. Whaddaya say?

** He gets a steaming mug of java, puts a new carto on his PV and enjoys a quick sip n' vape while waiting for Bonnie's answer.**

To be continued...

**Medic hears a lot of loud voices outside her hose on stilts. She walks outside to see what t's all about. She looks down to find every man from the hidey hole surrounding Nancy and wat looks lke 100 suitcases... Nancy, what are you doing here? No you can not live here!!! I don't care if you caught Mickey with Tinkerbell, carry yourself right back to Orlando before yssiM kills you. And you boys can carry those suitcases right back up that hill.**

*Having been up most of the night and pulling 16 hours up, 3 hours of sleep shifts watching the hidey... hole, the wolf's sense of all that's she's in tune with were buzzing more than a yellow jacket caught between two screens. She engages her devices and reviews video footage, only to be astonished by what her wolf eyes see. She then puts out a call to her fellow pack mates*

"Repeat, this is not a drill, operation Dumping Out Über Chicks Hiding Emplants (it's an accent, it makes sense) or D.O.U.C.H.E. is a go."

*Mutters something under her breath*

"Now what kind of mental deficient wears that out here. She must be mighty pretentious. I think I need to gather together a collection of dirty socks. I hear them squitoes are attracted to them smelly things and she looks like the type of girl to take to a few thousand pokes."

*Nancy R. Foxey was so upset that she could not stay in the baywatch house on the lake. It did have the best view and had Mick *her pet name for Mickey Mouse* not gone off with Tinkerbelle and Minnie had not put that giant high heeled shoe up her ...., she would still be living in that cute lil house in Orlando with the giant things and the tiny lil bed. That bed had caused some problems for the long legged Nancy...........why her legs were so long they went all the way up and made an .... of themselves!......Sleeping with Mick was unusual, what with the big nose in the way and having to move his whiskers and kiss him sideways and then the legs hanging off the end of the bed. Riding in parades was such fun as she felt like the fairy Princess she knew she was. But now, here she was in this cruddy, pebble paved, fish smelly place all because she had no place to go and Peter R. Puny had put a want ad in the Orlando Classies to find her.*
Wanted: That hot, blonde, double D beauty who used to be the weather girl at WKBV Radio 69.69 on your dial.
Reward...........Please call Mr. Puny @ 555-555-6969
Yes, the want ad had gotten her attention and what else was left for her? She needed a job and she was experienced at that job and knew the way around. It would do...........BUT, where would she sleep? Whatever will she do? Wherever shall she go? and she vowed..............aloud..............*

As God is my witness, I shall never go manless again!

Help Wanted...............ahem...................wanted, somebody, anybody to take over one of the three characters I am currently juggling.....................

Peter R. Puny- a "small" man, a bit nervous and anxious, a 45 year old virgin, ready to please Nancy R. Foxey and the soundman at KBV radio. He despises Bonniegirl *axtually repulsed is better way to describe his feelings* He wants to do good and right but he is shy and nervous and well, a bit of a nerd and geek. He is the guy that stands in the corner of the bar and when you look at him he places his eyes downward cause he thinks the girl is too pretty for him. He COULD grow some chutzpah and ask Nancy out OR he could find a new love.........OR.........anything your imagination thinks he would want to do. The sky is the limit with this loving, simple man. I picture his favorite meal as Moms' meatloaf, mashed potatoes with butter, not gravy *that is too adventurous* and he only eats corn for a veggie *even though it is a carb and not a vitamin high nutrient* He eats trix cereal and reads the box while he waits for the cereal to soften a bit and he always checks the weather to see if he needs his galoshes and umbrella.

Nancy R. Foxey- This character is a blonde bimbo with a bit of a problem with "UNDERSTANDING" things. Her IQ is the same as her dress size. She wears DD bras and thongs always. She only wears designer clothing. She is shallow, a gold digger and her favorite food is ........well, she doesn';t eat cause she wants to be thin! Men are attracted to her like bees are to sweet flowers and she always conditions her hair and uses facial moisturizer religiously. She hates dust, smelly things, ugly people, bugs, possums, fish, anything without a designer label and BONNIEGIRL!

Please help, jump in and you are hired. No experience necessary just an imagination, imitation of someone you know or a whim.
Salary............you get a zillion laughs, fun, be a kid again and play, write a collective story, feel a part of the KBV Novella.........C'mon................pull up a stump and jump in! The water is fine and there are no mistakes except to NOT get involved.


as you were with Bob denying absolutely that he was in the outhouse with Nancy R Foxey and Bonniegirl and Ciego cooking up a scheme and wolf working on a skeeter plan and prayers for SKEETER.............and Missy sharpening the nails!

Stay tuned ..........................

** HyOnLyph hears the ruccus and gets up from the computer and steps out onto the porch of his lean2. Sets one hand on the back of the rocky chair and shades his eyes from the sunlight to see what heck all the comotion was about. There's a crowd of HideyHole folks... shufflin' n sputterin' all around the rear .... door ... of a limozeen. All he can see is the top of a blond hair do... He watches the hairdo move along and then it dips down and disappears... but through the crowd.. all the heads turning as it apparently moves on by. Suddenly from out of the crowd merges a pair of perfectly manicured feet in Jiminy Cricket Chews shoes. (obviously stole from the Magic Kingdom). Of course the rest follows... the long white legs and ....... hmmm...... a wheelbarrow???? "OH LORD..... Hep us... It's that old weather girl Nancy R Foxy". Preacherman could never figure out why boB hired her in the first place... afterall her voice sounded like a cross between a whiney spoiled 3 yr old brat and fingernails on a chalkboard. And on the radio... the rest of her ....... um..... assetssssss... make no nevermind. She did liven things up a bit round the hidey hole but only in the way a rat running around on the floor of a restaurant "livens" things up. Hy becomes fearful for all the poor souls that are taken in .... by her..... well ..... char.... no .... um ...... well ... Double D's.

"Lord.... hep us .... this misguided ..wonton .... um wantin' .... um oh yeah.. wanton woman will be a thorn in the sides of us all. We don't want no temptin' nor murderin' nor death wishin' of no one 'round here". "Pleeeze Lord step in and be deflatin' her..... uhm ...her prominent .... um... ego (not the PV) and cover her up for pitty sakes."

** rubs his forehead with his fingers, eyes closed... wonderin' what are we gonna do with this latest predicament.... ***

Says to hisseff.... " I think I need to plop m'sef down in the middle of the stream n' get zen again" and lets out a sigh.


Oh yeah...... and shouts out to boB and yssiM. "Luv ya both n have a great vacation!"

Bob and Missy, you guys go have fun and relax. We'll be here when you get back. Take lots of pics! I love vacation pics....
We will attempt to keep the place in tip top shape. Please leave the chainsaw in case we need more stumps.

*Peeuuw.....what's that ODD smell*

*Nancy R. Foxey was so upset that she could not stay in the baywatch house on the lake. It did have the best view and had Mick *her pet name for Mickey Mouse* not gone off with Tinkerbelle and Minnie had not put that giant high heeled shoe up her ...., she would still be living in that cute lil house in Orlando with the giant things and the tiny lil bed. That bed had caused some problems for the long legged Nancy...........why her legs were so long they went all the way up and made an .... of themselves!......Sleeping with Mick was unusual, what with the big nose in the way and having to move his whiskers and kiss him sideways and then the legs hanging off the end of the bed. Riding in parades was such fun as she felt like the fairy Princess she knew she was. But now, here she was in this cruddy, pebble paved, fish smelly place all because she had no place to go and Peter R. Puny had put a want ad in the Orlando Classies to find her.*
Wanted: That hot, blonde, double D beauty who used to be the weather girl at WKBV Radio 69.69 on your dial.
Reward...........Please call Mr. Puny @ 555-555-6969
Yes, the want ad had gotten her attention and what else was left for her? She needed a job and she was experienced at that job and knew the way around. It would do...........BUT, where would she sleep? Whatever will she do? Wherever shall she go? and she vowed..............aloud..............*

As God is my witness, I shall never go manless again!

ahem....................there has been an overwhelming response to the want ad placed for characters...............cough.........YES, it has been overwhelming..................VERY!


NOT one single person applied for the job!


Now that is overwhelming and horrid, simply horrid. These are fine, well constructed characters with feelings and a soul and a life and I am old and tired and all the juggling and the keepin track of who said what to who and all..............WHEW.

OK, I am still all three...................we need them, we do. Peter R. Puny just bought a fetching new pocket protector to impress Nancy and Nancy is playing Scarlett FFS! Hope she don't get "with child" cause I don't know nuttin bout birthin no babies!

***Elbow deep in grease and motor oil, the jelly man in putting the last crank with the torque wrench on the latest chopper to roll out of the Hidey Hole Chopper Works when a high pitched, whiny voice wafts in on the lake breeze.... "I shall never go manless again!"***

I know that voice... It CAN'T BE!!! The brainless bombshell back at Lake Fishigan???? Does yssiM know? Oh heck... there is gonna be a hanging, or at least one heck on a cat fight!

***grabbing a rag to wipe of at least one layer of grease, Jelly runs for the doors... I gotz ta see this! $100 on yssiM!

*Bonniegirl puts 200.00 fresh from her brassiere out on a stump and tells jellyman *the sometime lake Fishigan Bookie* that she wants 200.00 on Missy to KO Nancy R. Foxey.*

Let the games begin......to be continued!

*Ciego catches wind (not flatulence) Of a beautiful Manless woman and the wheels turn.................* "The sauna! instead of heating it I could install AC and be able to hang meat in there (pun intended)"............... I'll plop my A.N.U.S. right in there with Nancy".................... *the trench coated figure disappears into the darkness in search of freon*...................

First post of the morn and it is 9:18 am EST???????????


Guess everybunny had too much fun last night at the "pole" barn party for Nancy R. Foxey...........did I hear the mumblings about train? or..............brain?............or......................shame?

IDK, I will go check in on Nancy...................BRB

@HY: Jellyman, the KY gentleman is the sometimes bookie at the Hidey Hole in Fishigan U. S. of A. I am already three peeps, I can not possibly be the bookie too! BTW, there is another character needed...............a bookie..............and I thought we had us a share eef..................cough *Dalton*..........BUT, have no law being served here at the Hidey Hole, why just last week there was a dude that was hanging and no one around?????????????

*mentally notes liking that research monkey hanky panky hidey holer but refuses to "like" as it is the principle of the matter and I DO like all the posts but will not "like" them and wish NOT to be "liked" in the same way!*

also really really liked wolfmemnochs contributions to the Novella, one of the few newbs to jump in and now is a bono- fried HOLER...............just sayin. Anyone can be a KBV fisherfolk and a Hidey Holer but to be a bono-fried HOLER, one must play Novella...............ahem.................or, ...................nm....................

*slinks away as the begging is even getting on my own nerves*

*Nancy R. Foxey was so lost and alone feeling, despite the fact that she had about 20 fishermen following her every move with offers to make room for her at their cabins, lean to's, boats, tents and even the outhouse! Oh how they were all on her like white on rice. One gentleman offered to take her in to town and pay for her lodging at the “One hour stop Hotel.” All the men talked her into going to the big pole barn party in her honor but she could not, would not, should not risk scuffing the new Jimmie Choos and she had no “old and dusty things to wear like Ya'll.” They did, eventually talk her into being carried to the party and she was ….......by 12 men who fought for the middle and not the feet, except for one who asked for the feet as he “always took a likin to nice feet and toes especially in them pointy toe shoes.” The party was nice and the music was , as usual, very ecclectic with every genre played and all made no interest to question it, as , after all, this was the Hidey Hole and it was “ODD.” Beer and other stiffer libations flowed freely and some abstained for religious,medicinal or spiritual reasons but Bonniegirl drank their share so it would “not go to wastin” as a favor to all. Peter R. Puny stood in the corner and resented HIS Nancy allowing all those men to touch and coddle and talk sweet to her. His new pocket protector was showing just aove the pocket line of his freshly pressed dress shirt with a fine number two pencil fresh and ready should he need to take a number or notes. There would be no numbers for Peter tonight. He overheard someone ask Nancy to pull a train and she said she was no longer a child playing with toys. Peter wiped the brow sweat over that one as he knew this kinda talk was not nice, he had read about that in a magazine with paper over the cover he hid under his mattress from his Momma. Peter also overheard one fisherman asking Nancy if she had seen Missy yet. She replied, “How could I Missy someone I don't know?” The men just shook their head side to side and smiled cause men always like to be smarter and wiser than their women. Nancy was a Mans dream girl. Just as the music changed to an old Duprees tune, the mood was changed by a mumbling voice in a "I had too many libations" level ….*

Hey dare ya nimroddin scuse fer a womans. Cain't ya wipin summa dat sugarin offa yerself so dem menfolks cin catchin dey bref? You gots dem mens flyin roun ya like bees does on a horse droppins.. Is ya horse doo? Careful dare dat dem menfolks doesn't poppin yer tatas wid dey belt bucklins.

*Bonniegirl really found such humor in her own words........*well she usually does*........ that she rolled and laughed so loud that everyone could see her innards through her mouth. She was guffawing and hooting and laughing and well, she was having a “Party for one.”

*Nancy replied while looking towards the menfolk*

What is that thing?

*Bonniegirls fit of laughter stopped like a train screeching at the sight of a woman tied to the tracks and the room fell silent except for the doo wop tune in the background. A slight gasp of air was heard from the collective mouths of those who knew her and well...........everyone KNEW her.

*Nancy then.........in all her infinite wisdom............and in all her oblivious oblivion stated*

I don't even have a horse you smelly old woman and I never would. And, by the bye, you are smelling of fish you know. That is not really attractive. A woman should be clean and well coiffed at all times. It said so right in Cosmopolitan magazine. I read that article about how to catch a man.

*Bonniegirl replied through clenched teeth, (the ones she had left anyway)*

Imma gonna knocks ya frew dat dare row of dem sheet houses an see bout bein well coiffin..........I gonna puttin ya in a coffinin.

Bonniegirl leaped over a chair towards the well coiffed Nancy R. Foxey and well..............things went downhill the rest of the night. Suffice to say that Peter R. Puny no longer has a point on his number 2 pencil, one fisherman lost an eye and one was seen running from the pole barn smiling with a high heeled Jimmie Choo shoe in his hand. Bonniegirl was held back by Bullet, Wolfmemnoch and achtungbaby while the fishermen cared for their precious Nancy. It is of great import that we mention that Bee Oh Bee was NOT present at the party as he had many joose deliveries to make before his hideaway get away and was not involved in the milieu.

Stay tuned for the next episode …........<insert dramatic music here>


Pass the popcorn..................IDK what will happen next!

*Bonniegirl lay in slumber with a one ear perched type of rest as she is fearful of the long arm of the law, friends of the nimrod blonde and other harmful characters. It was obvious from the light and kind steps that the preacherman Hy was approaching and she promptly played possum to prevent any "preacherman kinda wordins." Twas really that "Betty Furd clinic* she feared. It was hard for her to have faith in anyone that did not understand that their was no dance called the 12 step. Everyone knew the dance was called the 2 step and she was not about to waste another three days explaining that to them again. They kept talkin and talkin about that river de nile and she knew it was going to be a useless waste of time to tell them she was not from a river she was from LAKE FISHIGAN! They insisted she was in the river de nile until they broke her and made her admit she was powerless to makin them understand and then they let her go with a list of meetings to go to. Man, those meetings were a big mess. "Huggin, prayin and flower chilin all over the place and all talkin about nuttin changin then nuttin changes". An Idjit could know that. Preacherman Hy covered her with the softest blanket she ever felt and slumbered abducted her like an alien and she fell into the depths of hard sleep. No Betty clinics or meetings for her. She knew what she needed..............a good rest and some good Fiddle paddle joose for the nerves.*

Nancy R. Foxey walks into the clearing shaking her head. Here she had come back to the Hidey Hole and most of the people (especially the women!) avoided her like she was wearing mismatched shoes or something! She'd have to "think" on that one, but the last time that she'd used that one of her Mama's expressions, someone had warned her that she shouldn't strain herself! As if she could actually fit in one of those bowls with the holes in it.

Maybe they weren't interested in knowing the OLD Nancy R. Foxey. But she could make herself into a NEW Nancy R. Foxey!

Stay tuned....more to follow at ODD intervals.

**Medic is walking around the lake just making sure everybody is okay when she hears someone talking. As she walks around the thorny rose bushes (i thought the KY jelly man was going to cut those down) she sees Nancy standing there talking to herself. On no, I thought she had got the message and was going to go on back to Orlando. Well I better head back and make sure there is enough bandages for when yssiM gets back from vacation. I think we are going to need them. Ya know, a tiger never changes it's stripes, it's voice maybe, but not it's stripes.**
Welcome Chimney to the saga.

***Nancy feels like crying now. She thought that she had glimpsed Medic through the bushes, but then she'd turned around and walked away. Maybe they weren't taking her seriously...that's why Mickey had broken up with her. She was just too "stupid". She had been attracted to Mickey's really big............................

ears.

That and he walked around without a shirt. Their last day together in the park, he'd invited her to ride Splash Mountain. He'd told her to be careful because on the way down she might get water all over her shirt--a problem that he wouldn't have, of course. So, she decided to protect her shirt by removing it. Who knew that the people at the park would be so upset about her going shirtless with Mickey. Anyway, Mickey had asked her why she had done such a stupid thing! He was first to do it, but he called her "stupid"! That's why he'd broken up with Minnie. He said that she was too stupid! Well, he was angrier at the time and had not used that nice language. To be truthful, he'd said that he was breaking up with her because she was .......ing goofy! He doesn't realize that everyone can't be as smart as he is. Anyway, she'd packed up all of her boxes and bags to come back to the one place that she felt that she could contribute something. She'd heard someone say that she was a gold digger. Did they think that she was that stupid??? First of all, she wouldn't ruin a perfectly good manicure to dig in the ground! Secondly, everyone knew that gold didn't come from the ground. It came from rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. Nancy rolled her eyes at how people could be so dumb!!! But she'd have to figure out how to live with these ODD people. She had no where else to go and nothing to do. She took out one of her nose blowing lace hankies because she felt the tears coming***

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

KBV Novella Chapter 69.69.....The CigarMan
***Dalton gets up off his stump, which lies off in the background, slightly hidden by the ........

willows. He enjoys that spot, for the peace and serenity it gives 'em, away from all the hustle an' bustle. Walkin' over to the campfire, he sees a man holding a mighty PV, big as the biggest cigar you ever saw. Thinkin' to himself, who might this cigarman be, and why's he takin' liberty with ma jooses? Dalton decides he'll just do a lil investergatin', and approaches the man. "Well how goes it?" he asks the man. Without waiting' few an answer, he continues... "Ya know, it's a mighty busy area around hur...Why between Bonniegirl and some woman named Betty Furd, that I honestly ain't ever seen round these parts, trying' ta keep Nancy off'a ole bOB, an trying to keep yssiM from tearing apart Nancy, not to mention havin' to keep on 'em bout keeping bonniegirl's poor ole ........

cat bathed, I have my hands pretty full around here... Don't often times get to make conversation much. So tell me, you gonna be the type that offers up a bit of conversation, or are ya gonna be the type that keeps a man like me busy?"

***Nancy had finished her cry sitting on the stump. She made up her mind that she HAD to do something. She had nowhere to go. Nowhere to put all of her bags and luggage. She'd looked all around Lake Fishigan and there didn't seem to be a house suitable for her. In coming back, she'd noticed a city not too far away. Maybe she'd be able to find a place to stay there temporarily until she found something near Lake Fishigan.

Starting to walk away, she caught one of the heels of her shoe on a stump. Instead of pulling the shoe off her foot, instead, the heel of her shoe came off! She started whimpering about her terrible luck since she'd left Charlie. Walking to the place where her bags were laying, her shoe kept falling apart piece by piece in the dead leaves, pine needles, and muck until there was nothing on her foot. For a couple of minutes, she contemplated actually looking through the muck because she'd always heard that sole searching was good for a person. After a couple of minutes, she decided that it wouldn't be much fun and that she had others that she could use. She needed to find a place where she could take a nice bath and get cleaned up. Surely, she would feel better after that.

She ordered a taxi and sat on the cases to wait until the driver came to pick her up. She told him that she wanted to find a place to stay in Nowheresville. Taking her in, he asked if she was a working girl. Of course, for the moment she was unemployed but in the past, she'd worked as a dancer, a weather girl, and of course, as a princess. She replied that she was indeed a working girl. He said that he knew the exact place for her to go. She wasn't impressed with the Baits Motel
in Nowheresville, but it would be better than sleeping in the muck. After paying for the taxi and the Motel, she realized that she would eventually have to find another job or something--preferably around Lake Fishigan---at least she knew someone there. She went into the room, and after chasing the cockroaches out, she drew a hot bubble bath and relaxed to organize her thoughts.

To be continued.....

***Sitting at the fire listening to all the fish tales, Medic sees the local taxi driver walk up. How you been doing Hank, any good fares lately? Hank procceds to tell Medic about the high class working girl her dropped off at the Baits Motel earlier today. While listening to his story Medic realized he was talking about Nancy. Oh no, this is not going to end well. Nancy is used to the four seasons not the Baits. What to do, what to do. When in doubt the best thing to do is tell the local preacher and local law enforcement. So off she goes to tell them that they really need to do somethnig to help Nancy**

As Nancy is laying in her tub of Chanel bubbles she plays with the tub spouts and sticks her big toe into the tub facet…”Damm” she thinks as she struggles to remove her big toe from the facet….she hears a strange noise and looks at the opaque white shower curtain….she sees a shadow of a person behind the curtain. "Hellllo, helllllo, anyone there? Bobby, is that you...." The shadow figure is holding a sharp object in their hand…the hand is arched in a stabbing position ready to come down in forceful blows, stabbing, gabbing, the intented victim…(the music grows louder and more annoying)…..wait a minute, that’s the theme from jaws…wrong movie.
Nancy sees someones fingers curl around the shower curtain and suddenly the shower curtain comes violently open and there stands……

***Upon hearin' 'bout the perdicament Nancy got herself in, Dalton started thinking to himself..."We caint have her stain out at the Baits...ain't fit fer the roaches that stay there, much less a high class workin girl... Perhaps that ol' thonged bandit can put 'er up for a bit...Coulda swore he mentioned putting AC in what useta be that old sauna... Sure wouldn't be much, but at least they aint no roaches in there...

Think I'll go run it by him an see, but I ought check on Nancy first. Pulling into the parkin lot of the old motel, Dalton sprays himself down with bug spray, "I aint takin no chances at this seedy ol' place" he says to himself... Right at that moment, he hears a terrible scream...

*Bonniegirl sat on her mossy stump with the .... cheek grooves worn just right. A chair was far more than a chair, it was a place to rest, to ponder and to wait for the outhouse thinkin times and sometimes it held the number one till she felt it passed enough to allow for a shuffle off to buffalo......ahem......outhouse number two. Outhouse number one had been occupied by Aubs for a long time and once some thought she may have met her maker but the toes was wigglin and all new she was just doing her paperwork. Today the stump held three occupants, Bonniegirl, a fish smely ..... and a spider. The first two Bonniegirl was aware of but much like little Miss Muffet, she sat there without porridge but a venomous spider was finding refuge among the hairs in her left armpit. A car arrived, a taxi, and she noticed that, finally, that nimrod, Nancy R. Foxey, was leaving for parts unknown to all, and possibly even to the empty headed bombshell herself. Bonniegirl smiled, stroked her ..... and smiled again. Just then an urge came upon her to throw salt in the wounds of the loser of the pole barn blow-out. Bonniegirl raised her hand and hollered a holler that allowed all to hear and do an inernal exam at the same time...........

Hey dare nimoddin, where ees ya a goin? Tah the dogs? Well dont be a lettin dat door be a hittin ya where dis cheer thang is gonna put a lotta dots and censorin! Hey, take dem dare fancyin shoes wid ya and yer solein to cause we cheer at this cheer hiney holin ain't got no usin fer no pointy toein shoes cause we ain't got none dem cockyroaches..........tooodle ooooo dare ya nit wittin scuse fer a woman

*As usual, Bonniegirl quite enjoyed her own words and many only she understood but she believed that Nancy knew they were not fond farewells or Bon Voyages, they were not even the "see ya later alligator" types. NO, these were "glad to see you leave" kinda words, and well, sticks and stones had hurt Bonniegirls bones many times and she also knew something that twas truer than true......... that they lied and words could surely hurt ya. Bonniegirl so wanted to put a hurtin on this menfolk turning to mush kinda woman. She, after all, and in the end, made a bad name for the strong women of the world that did not need a man but just liked them, the way folks like puppys, they are mischievous, needy and so cute when they want to play but they were also hard to train. Just as Bonniegirl began the celebratory Bwahahahahas she felt a sting worse than any of Medics needles like pitch forks. This sting burned and was a long time till easing and then the burning began. Seems this time the words had a double hurting. The boos and the Hoos commenced.......as usual.....................*

OH Lawd in dem hebbens, hep me....................Boo and Hooooooooo and anudder booin fer good measurin..............sumebunny comes tah heppin yer Bonniegirl, I beed stung by spiderman............dat be duh worstest stingin dat I ebber did had................oh sob and Boo and Hoo and anudder sob................Hep me …...........Hep me................hep me!!!!!

*The fish smelly ..... looked at the noise and the booing and the hooin, yawned, curled in a ball on the stump and closed his one eye*

there stands....a Spanish speaking maid. "Sorry, Sorry...I wanted to change the bottle of body wash at the tub. I not know that someone in here at this time of day! So, sorry, I leab now!" The maid dropped the pointy tube of body wash onto the floor and ran out of the room.

The maid left. Nancy noticed the body wash the maid left behind was a bottle of Raid? Hummm, I guess the little itty bugs around here wants some pampering as well? Nancy drew the shower curtain closed and resumed her bubble popping tub soak. Within a few minutes she again heard a noise and saw another shadow approaching the shower curtain…as before, the figures arm held high, holding a sharp object….”what the heck is goin on round here” Nancy thought, can’t a girl take a bubble bath without the helps commin around every few minutes? I must be in one of them antique hotels, ugly but the service is awesome”…..
Nancy settled deep into the warmth of her Chanel scented bubbles….fingers surround the shower curtain…in a flash the shower curtain opens…there in front of Nancy stands Ciego in his KBV thong holding an eGo with a dual carto filled with OMG high in his hand….”Oh hey Nancy, thought you might want to try sucking on this…ummmm, eGo of mine, mind if I join ya?”

**Medic hears all the booing and hooing from Bonniegirl so she goes running up to the stump. What is wrong with you this time Bonniegirl? What is stinging you where? Under you arm? Show me. Oh no, somebody call the KYJelly man or Bullet cause we are going to need a weed wacker to see whats in all this hair and stuff she has got under her arm. Bonnie you are going to have to be still so we can get you cleaned up and see what is going on. Bonnie stop, come back here, don't run away. BONNIE GET BACK HERE.**

Feeling more relaxed than before, Nancy set out to find out what was in her new neighborhood. She had changed into a leather mini-skirt, platform heels, and a tank top. The tank top was a little snug these days, but it covered the important parts (mostly). Upon exiting her room, she saw someone dressed similarly to herself on the sidewalk in front of the motel. Being the friendly sort, Nancy approached the woman and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Nancy R. Foxey!. Her companion told her hello and said that her name was Velvet. Buoyed by the new found relationship, she asked Velvet if she was a working girl too. Velvet looked surprised. Nancy didn't know why Velvet would be so surprised. Didn't she look like she could keep a job? Velvet said that her make up wasn't right for a working girl. Nancy said that she was too a working girl! The last time that she worked she was a princess. Velvet said that she usually got the French maid and naughty Englishman jobs. Nancy replied that she wouldn't like doing that because she didn't speak French. (At least she didn't think so. She'd never actually tried.) Nancy then told Velvet that she didn't want to be a working girl anymore, but she didn't know what else to do. Velvet said, to get out, she would need to go to college and get a degree. Nancy didn't know where there was a college and didn't know how to get a degree. Velvet told her that the Jr. College was 2 block north and 1 block east. She could get a degree there.

Right then, they were interrupted when Velvet's co-worker, John, came to pick her up. He called to her, talked to her through the window, and then she got in, and off they went. Velvet must have dropped something on the floor of the car, because the next thing that Nancy noticed was Velvet bending over until her head was out of sight.

On her walk to the Jr. College, Nancy thought about what she wanted to do there. Velvet said that she needed to get a degree. Her mind drifted back to the girls' room in high school where she'd heard the girls discussing college. Most of the girls wanted to be teachers, or doctors, but that girl, Buffy, was adamant. She was going to college to get her M.R.S. degree so that she'd never have to worry about work again. This sounded like what Nancy was looking for.

When she arrived, she walked down the hallways until she came to a set of windows where she saw a sour faced woman with bifocals hanging at the end of her nose. "What can I help you with?" How did she make her voice sound so sour and helpful at the same time. Nancy replied that she had come to get a degree. Mrs. Crabapple (that's what the name tag said...) "Oh, it's not that easy! You'll have to take an entrance exam." Nancy replied, "Oh, I already did that. I walked up to the building, opened the door and was able to come in right away!" Trying another tactic, Mrs. Crabapple asked her what kind of degree did she want to get. Nancy was so proud that she knew what the lingo was. "Oh, I want to get my M.R.S. degree!" Was that a giggle that escaped Mrs. Crabapple's lips and put an evil glint in her eyes? "Oh, now I understand! My best friend's daughter is also a blonde!" (Nancy wondered how Mrs. Crabapple knew that...she'd dyed her hair right before moving back to Lake Fishigan.) Mrs. Crabapple continued, "All you have to do is go through the doors at the end of the hall. That's the cafeteria. Then ask anyone there if they can help you get your M.R.S. degree".

Nancy did as she was told, but most people reacted by laughing. She didn't know what was so funny. Her education was a serious thing for her. Finally, she met Natalie who asked her why she wanted to get married. Nancy said, "Oh, I'm not looking to get married. I just want to get a degree so that I don't have to be a working girl anymore." Natalie peered at Nancy over tortoiseshell glasses and decided that Nancy was actually serious. She slowly explained what an M.R.S. degree was. She even explained what people thought when you said that you were a working girl. Nancy was shocked!! Then she felt humiliated! They thought that she was charging money for what you should only do with someone you love and loves you. Nancy had been loved and been in love many times over the years! Why during her high school year, she'd dated the whole football team (even Jr. Varsity. She thought that it was the least that she could do to show that she had school spirit.) But she didn't date them all at the same time! (She wasn't that kind of girl! She made it a personal rule not to fall in love more than 3 times a week---except during school holidays.

How did life get so complicated all of a sudden?? She couldn't tell people that she was a working girl anymore. Her new friend, Velvet, wasn't a good person. Many people on campus at the Jr. College thought that she was an idiot. And now, she had to get married! Most of the people that she knew now, were at Lake Fishigan, and no one there even liked her. She buried her delicate little nose into a lace hanky and boo-hooed, and honked enough to call a flock of geese passing overhead.

***Peter R. Puny walks from his class into the cafeteria what a surprise he finds. The love of his life, girl of his dreams is sitting in the Jr. Collage cafeteria crying. As he walks up to her he strightens his pen protector and cleans his glasses. Whats wrong Nancy? Is there something I can do to help you? Why did you leave Lake Fishington U.S.A.?

Nancy dissolves into tears, and boo-hooing, and honking again. "I came back to Lake Fishigan because that's the only place that I've felt at home since Mama passed away right after I finished high school. ***sniff, sniff, honk*** But no one there likes me!" She continued, "They run when they see me. Or they sit there and snarl like a wolf at me. There was no place to move into when I got there, so I came to a local motel. The women that work there aren't very nice. The door to my room doesn't close properly....*sniff, sniff, honk***Any time I take a bath, I feel like there's someone in there watching me!" "There are cockroaches there the size of chihuahuas! I thought that if I bought some "roach motels" that they would stay there and leave me alone in my room. But they keep coming in and don't leave in time for other roaches to check in! Oh, Peter, what am I going to do!?!"

***Peter R. Puny slowly slid his arm around Nancy R. Foxey's shoulders murmuring what he hoped were soothing and comforting words. He hoped that she couldn't tell that he'd never been this far with a girl before. "I understand", said Peter over and over. "I understand why you left Lake Fishigan. I understand why you don't like your motel or your neighbors. But what I don't understand is why you came to the Jr. College today." Nancy sniffed and said, "You'll laugh at me. I wanted to get a degree." "Well then you came to the right place!" "You don't understand. I came here to get an M.R.S. degree". Peter swallowed audibly, and softly said, "I think that you came exactly to the right place for that."

To be continued....

***Peter R. Puny helped Nancy to her feet and said come with me You can sit in my classes for the rest of today and then after classes are done we can see about getting you that degree you want so badly. Maybe we can plan a vacation, Peter said excitedly. Have you ever been to Vegas? They have places to get thet M.R.S. degree everywhere and we can go to the Star Wars convention, see Elvis, and go to Vapefest all at the same time, meantime you can stay with me and mother at my house. I know you will like her, you met her earlier, my mother is...........

Mini wanders down the path to the campfire , I hear Medic hollering for Bonnie to come back ! Oh heavens whats she gone and done now ?

I hear that Nancy woman is back around these parts again too. Girl just dont have the sense given to a worm to come back here. yissM is gonna crown her good if she shows up again. Guess I may have to deal with this once and for all ...................... hmmmmm .

*Bonniegirl ran from Medic so fast her brassiere occupants were falling out and leaving a bread crumb like trail of various sundries. The usual had fallen, a few EGO batts (1100 mAh),several bottles of various delicious KBV jooses, 801 cartos, 801 shorty HV attys, 901 HV attys, adapters for all ocassions, 18650 batts, a buzz in a lovely green, some tissues, a few moist and several dry (well, as dry as one could expect from being in the abyss of the bosoms) and a cherry chapstick was hanging for it's life under the left bosom and seemed to be holding on with its ridged cap , just in case Katy Perry did really come to Lake Fishigan U.S. Of A. Bonniegirl was panting and running in a shuffle like motion cause those moccasins were so comfy with backs crunched down to make a slip on but they were not made for fast exits or for get-a-ways. This was in the get-a-way category. That Medic was nice an all but she packed a mean wallop with her “let's clean this outs” and those pitch fork sized needles. She always said, "this will only hurt a little" and, her little was nowhere near what Bonniegirl found little. Her definition of a little hurt was like a heated pitch fork through your navel and Bonniegirls definition of little was a mosquito bite. YES, they thought differently about hurting and that was clear. Ya see, when someone gets a hurting every day, the hurts seem to piggy back each other and make for more hurtin and God above knew that Bonniegirl had had her share of piggy backed hurts. Bonniegirl ran and ran and came upon Preacherman Hys lean to and saw the empty rocky chair and knew he was prolly out and about giving comfortin or soothin the sick or maybe having that incontinence in the stream again, but never-the-less, he was not available to save her. She had to think quickly as Medic had sent the possum posse out after her and she knew she needed to be in a well lit area but out of sight. She eye balled a big hollow stump in a clearing and hopped in with her fish smelly ..... and just then remembered twas hard to hide the odor. Sitting as still as a possum when spied by a fox, she heard a tinkle of water and a tee hee and a few Lols(Not the joose). Bonniegirl peered over the edge of the hollowed out stump to see Preacherman Hy in his Birthday suit prancing and dancing in the stream. Bonniegirl felt sorely ashamed for what she had seen and what she had done, although, she really didn't DO anything but look, and how was she to know that this was the time and the place for Preacherman Hy to get Godly. Ya know, cleanliness is next to Godliness, but seeing the cleaning of the Godly man sure did not feel so Godly. Bonniegirl averted her eyes in respect but her ears were perked and twas only human to be curious what a man of God did when no one was watching. The answer was clear, Godly men did the same things all men do. They sing whilst they bathe, they talk to themselves and the make the same “DANG IT!” when they cut themselves shaving. She new what the “Dang it” was for cause she heard the fizz of the shaving cream fizz into his hand. Only a few minutes later did she hear the “dang” and that was it. He was the same as every body else was. He was a man, a regular man and no more or less. Bonniegirl supposed he was drying or dressing as she heard the rustling of clothing and then a singing of an old familiar hymn. Tears flowed from Bonniegirls eyes as she listened to the refrain of “How great thou art.” By the time he got to the part where he sang, “then sings my soul, my savior God to thee, How Great thou art, How Great thou art” Bonniegirl was full out bawling her eyeballs out and sniffling and slobbering and smelling her fishy ..... and a case of the feeling sorries for the self and the weepies and the melancholia and all collided into a cleansing cry to wash away the sadness, the fear, the heart ache, the missing of her Momma and the shear fright of dying and the shear fright of keeping on with the living. She quieted herself as not to alert the Preacherman to her whereabouts but to no avail. As she looked up, there he was , peering in at her bubberin self with them kind eyes and a soft voice and a pat on her head. She had been found but by the best one that could have found her.*


Pass the popcorn please.................IDK where Peter and Nancy are going and this story is getting good, hope Medic don't catch Bonniegirl and give her those pitch fork size needles!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella chapter...... welll..... ya'll know the drill.

** Preacherman HyOnLyph hadn't even had a chance to put on his shoes or pull a few scraps of toilet paper off his face left over from patchin' the nicks o that ol' straight razor he used t' shave with. There was blubberin' n sobbin' n sniffin' n snortin' n booin' n hooin' n such as the likes he'd not heard since the last time bonniegirl fell t' pieces. Oh he recognized the sound of it, well enuf. He couldn't help but wonder how long she'd been there. He knew he had let fly with a few "dangs", a "gosh aweful", n maybe even a "heck" or two. Oh well, can't dwell on the whatmightabins. Can only deal with the here-n-nows. Seemed like she was placin' words in between the sobbin sounds but it was pretty tough to figure out what they were. Sumpin had set 'er off and now once she got started, she just let it all flow. Somehow she'd gone from "sluuurrrrppp... sniiiiiiiiif... uh.... Medic's ..... sniff inhale....gonna kill me ...... snort snarkle... widat ting..." and transitioned on to the deep sobs of ..... loss.... n fear of what might be..... n painful the sick heart of hopes-deferred.***

"There there Bonnie.... you jus gettit all out. What better place t' leave all that sorrow than righcheer bside the stream.... let it all flow away."

**Preacher wanted to say something profound and preacher like t' comfort her... but he knew she just needed t' cry a bit. n he knew that the speakin' of some fancy words n the sayin' of platitudes was more about him easing his own uncomfortableness with her cryin' than it was about actually helping her.... .... so he just stood there... feelin' a little awkward.... pattin' her head.... sayin' "there there, you'll be ok".

**When ya really luv somebunny with the Godly kinda luv.... sometimes it's all ya need to do is luv em. No need for preachin'....

That ol Nancy R Foxy coming back to the hidey hole n that Puny feller stirrin' up crap.....had set up a fear in her that was the last straw of her copin' mechanisms. She'd held it in n now was lettin' it all out. Clearing the heart. ***

Ima thinkin' when she's rested up... theres gonna be some kickin' bass (not the vapor) ..... n takin' names. But ya never know here at the hidey hole of Fishigan US of A.

***Nancy waits with bated breath to find out who Peter R. Puny's mother is...***

***Bonniegirl..she gave him up at birth because she was so young and had no way to support him. His 18th birthday present from his adoptive parents was a copy of his original birth certificate and a bus ticket to Lake Fishigan U.S.A.. He has spent the last several months trying to figure out the best way to tell her, but the words never come. Nancy can you please help me tell Bonniegirl that she is my Mom? If you do you can come and live with me in my house at the hidey hole**** Will Nancy accept??? What will Bonniegirl say????

***Nancy looks up into Peter's eyes and screams, "Bonniegirl?!? That woman is your mother??? She HATES me! She'll never accept me as part of your family!" She continued, "As much as I want to go on vacation with you to Vegas, Bonniegirl will kick me out on my buns!" Nancy's mind was now a cesspool of confusion (which didn't take much to accomplish). Here was her chance to get a college degree and never have to worry about working again, and it all depended on Bonniegirl! "What to do?" thought Nancy out loud...


to be continued

***Peter is all worried now. Nancy don't worry, she doesn't know yet. I am hoping after we go to vegas we can tell her together. maybe we can take a stop in St Louis and pick up her a couple of those gooey butter cakes everybody seems to like. I know if we handle it just right we can all be one big happy family and she can live with us in the big house on the hill. What do you think?? Want to give a try? You know she is not all bad, she does have some good qualities. Peter looks deep into Nancys eyes begging, please just give us a chance. During this entire conversation Preacherman Hy is standing in the background listening. Will he tell Bonniegirl??***
Stay turned for future additions to Chapter 69 page 69....wow this is a long page...

*** Nancy decided to go back to the motel for right now. Her brain was swimming. Peter had just confessed a secret to her and she was harboring one of her own. The woman that she called "mama" had passed away almost 10 years ago--right after she'd finished high school. In what she'd left to Nancy there was a sealed envelope. The envelope contained a letter explaining that her father hadn't died when Mama had told her. In reality, Nancy's father was a married man who made a mistake when he was young. There was no question about her father leaving his wife. He already had a child with her. Although Mama didn't know the name or the age of the child (she didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl). She'd heard that Nancy's father used to go out to Lake Fishigan USA and that the child went with him. That's all she knew. She didn't know if Nancy's father was still alive and near Lake Fishigan, or if the child was still there. Nancy had taken a job as weather girl there to try to do some quiet investigation and had been "run off" before she could ask any questions. All she knew (or suspected) was that she had family somewhere around Lake Fishigan USA. Maybe Peter could help her in that. He knew people who'd been around for years there....She bit her lower lip while thinking and accidentally drew blood. Not a very good idea.

to be continued...

Chimney didn't watch soap operas for 40 + years for nuthin'!

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Still more of chapter 69
***Medic quietly sneaks up behind Bonniegirl while she is crying on Preacher mans shoulder. Suddenly she whips out a hanky filled with chloroform and holds it over bonniegirls face.Okay now she is out I can fix up this bite. 10 minutes later Bonniegirl is slowly waking up. Her left armpit is cleaned of the spider, cobwebs, hair, and all of the other stuff that was in there. The poison has been cut out and a soothing antibacterial suave has been applied. That should take care of it this time.Now I will leave this here bottle of Ms. Walker for her to find when she wakes up and she will just think it's a hangover. Medic slowly backs away before Bonniegirl awakes completely and sees her.***

***Back at the Baits Motel, Nancy looks out the window and sees Velvet. (She doesn't have a very long work day. Nancy had just seen her a couple of hours ago.) Anyway, Nancy had a few questions to ask Velvet. She walked out onto the parking lot. She faced Velvet and said "Hello. Can I ask you a few questions?" When Velvet told her she could, Nancy asked what the quickest way to get money would be---other than doing what Velvet did. Velvet asked her why she needed money and Nancy explained that she was going to move to Lake Fishigan USA and the clothes that she'd brought weren't like what they wore down there. Velvet asked what she was going to with her current wardrobe. Nancy said that her wardrobe wasn't currant...there were other colors besides red. Velvet tried another tactic. She told Nancy that she could have a garage sale---she knew plenty of people who would be customers if her outfits were like what she was wearing at the moment. Nancy looked sad and said that she didn't have a garage because she lived in a motel now. Velvet tried again. "Would you sell the clothes that you have to other people who wanted to wear them?" Nancy said that she'd have to get out of them first because she didn't want to be sold too. Velvet gave up! She said, "Nancy, can you show me the clothes that you can't bring to Lake Fishigan?" Nancy showed Velvet what she had. Velvet snapped up what she could afford (even at garage sale prices). Nancy might be one toaster short of an appliance sale, but she knew what clothes and shoes cost and wasn't willing to give anything away. Velvet then called a few friends, who then called their acquaintances. Soon, Nancy's room was full of "professional" shoppers. Nancy was only barely able to retain what she was wearing!

After Velvet left, Nancy counted up the money from the sale of clothes, shoes, purse, costume jewelry, etc and decided that she'd spend the rest of the afternoon shopping for "sensible clothes" (ugh! like they wear in the hidey hole). She also had another use for some money, but she was keeping that to herself for now. After shopping, she'd get a good night's rest and then check out of the Baits Motel and take a cab back to Lake Fishigan. There was so much to think about, but for now, it would be SHOPPING!!

Preacherman... is shocked by the sudden move of Medic and her Ninja-like stealth.... He says.... "Hey wait a minute.... I'll have no part in decieving po Bonniegirl raht in th' middle of her havin' a moment... so to speak.... as it were. *** Preacherman realizes that the deed is done and there's nothing to be done about it. He takes a step back, slips on the bank of the stream... n finds hisseff sittin' in the middle of ..... um..... it..... again. No Zen this time.... More like a "whattheheck"!!

** A mysterious figure cloaked in a dark London Fog trench coat quietly jimmies the lock on the back door of KBV Radio - The Divine 69.69 - and sneaks into the deserted control room.*

Well, at tleast this place smells better than it did the last time I broke in. I find it hilarious that everything with a willy-wanger around here...including the Preacher and the possums...have gone so testosterony over that Nancy chick. Thankfully, as I cannot see her charms, I am totally immune.

* The mysterious figure reaches out to the Master Control panel and turns on the ancient transmitter, checks the plate current and voltage, enables the modulation monitors and the frequency monitor, and moves to the old Shure Brothers boom microphone hanging above the 1968 vintage Gates console.**

Good evening Lake Fishipuss, and welcome to another visit with your old pal Mike Oxlong, bringing you some smooth jams and sweet words of wisdom from the studios of the Divine 69, KBV Radio.

You know, being a mysterious voice in the night can get kind of lonely. I mean, a fella can't live on Cheetos and Pudding Pops alone. A man needs love, or at least a $20.00 approximation thereof. So my wish tonight is to find a soft, warm and hopefully female body to snuggle close to. I've just freshly pressed my thong, although it's still very lumpy, if you get my drift.

Aside from that, Missy and Robert are still trying to survive their vacation on the East Coast. That must be some kind of culture shock for a down-home pair from the Show Me State. I mean, they even speak a different language out there!

Recently, a few nefarious characters have made their way into the circle around the Hidey Hole, and I fear they come armed with ill intent and bottles of Vomit Vapor (TM) juice. I think plans are afoot to taint...that's right I said "taint" our wonderful KBV e-liquids!

Oh, I am certain that *some* could find pleasure in vaping up a mouthful of Vomit Vapor's "Massengill Mocha Mousse," or "Cat Scratch Fever," which has the delightful aroma of that wierd cat lady's house....you know, the old spinster who shelters more cats than the Humane Society. But I for one will be keeping my nose open, making sure that none of this Vomit Vapor (TM) crap ends up in *my* carto. I don't find what anyone could find appealing about "Pumpkin Gazpacho Motor Oil Surprise."

Anyway, it's time to dim the lights and get close to someone you love. Here's a little tune from Biff Spazmo and the Quadriplegics....no, scratch that....this is one from WhamBam Billy and the Bone Heads...no wait...damn it, that Puny ....... pulled all my braille labels off the CDs again. Aw forget it. Somebody will post a youtube link here before very long.

Personally, in honor of Nancy Foxy, I'd love to hear Todd Rundgren's S.L.U.T., but that's just me.

Until the next time I feel the need to vent, this is Mike Oxlong bidding you good night and good nookie.

* The ancient transmitter cools as sound is replaced by near silence, then static as the old vacuum tubes cease their gentle glow and go dark.**

Lake Fishigan - where men are odd, the women are scarce and sheep learn to climb trees? Maybe not.... LOL

Lake Fishigan - Where Mother Nature kicks Father Time's ...? Better.

Lake Fishigan - Where odd isn't just a way of life.

Well, I'll keep working on it.

There was a minor scandal a few years ago when Moorhead Minnesota (right across the Red River from Fargo ND) had a contest to come up with a slogan for the city. The winner was:

"Moorhead. It's not just a city, it's a great idea."

Think about that one for a minute. It is no longer the city's slogan. :wink:

Lake Fishigan - Fall off the dock into happiness? Naw....

Oh well. *shrugs*

"Lake Fishigan.....where the joose is always flowin, the fire is always burnin', and Ciego always has vapor coming out of his A.N.U.S........pull up a stump and sit a spell..."


Naw......

***Nancy R. Foxey was taking one final soak in bubble bath before leaving for Lake Fishigan. Velvet had stopped by again before Nancy went out to get new clothes for her new life. She really liked Velvet. She had never had real "girlfriends" before to chat with. Mostly, girls avoided her. Anyway, Nancy had a great tip for her. When Nancy told her that everyone thought that she was dumb, Velvet told her that that was because she was a blonde. People tend to think that all blondes are dumb, but she'd found a way around that. When someone would talk to her like she was an idiot, she pat her head and say, "Watch out, Buddy! This blonde is from a bottle!". Nancy was amazed and asked if it really worked and Velvet assured her that it worked every time. People started taking her seriously. Nancy needed to leave it she wanted to get her shopping done. She wished that Velvet would be able to move to Lake Fishigan, but she didn't know if she would be able to find enough work there.

The first order of business, would be to find shoes. Velvet had told her that her shoes wouldn't go over very well in the Hidey Hole. She walked up to the salesman and told him where she was moving to and that she wanted shoes for the occasion. Well, he thought that she was just any dumb blonde! He tried to show her shoes that weren't even finished!! Why if she'd wear those shoes, the heels of her feet would touch the ground. It was time to try Velvet's tip. "Look! You probably think that I'm dumb because I'm blonde.", touching her head as Velvet had shown her, she continue by saying, "But I know that Velvet comes from a bottle!" The salesman was momentarily taken aback, but quickly recovered. After 30 years of selling shoes, Kenny had learned never to be surprised at the things women would say while shoe shopping. They would say something that probably made sense in a different setting---or in a parallel universe. His favorite was the woman who asked to see a certain shoe in a size 6 1/2 when any idiot could see that she'd probably a size 8 instead. He would nod his head, go to the back, and return with a box. He'd say, "You're in luck! We had one pair left in a 6 1/2! I nearly didn't find it because someone had put it in the wrong box! Let's see how these feel." Never lost a sale like that. But the "Velvet from a bottle" was a new one to him. He did try to soothe things over nonetheless. "Oh, I would not try to imply that you're dumb! It's just that someone of your class might not realize that these are what people who live in places like Lake Fishigan wear. They're called "canvas flats". They're easy to care for--just drop them in the washer to clean. (Nancy didn't want Kenny to think that she was dumb, so she didn't ask what a washer was...) He continued on saying that the shoes that she was wearing at the moment would get their heels stuck in the mud and the muck and the heel would come off. Nancy thought that he must be psychotic. How did he know that that had happened the last time that she'd been to Lake Fishigan! She bought a pair in every color available, then went to buy some of those "man pants" that Peter had suggested---he'd said that they belonged to Gene, but everybody was wearing them. She also bought some loose fitting shirts that were called T-shirts although Nancy couldn't see why. It's not like it was something that you'd wear to drink tea! She also bought a house dress for Bonniegirl with big pockets like she liked to hold things in.

In another place, she bought what Peter R. Puny thought would really go over big. She told the man there that she wanted to get Ms. Walker in a dress, but she didn't know what color dress to get. ----(Apparently, he was a little familiar with Bonniegirl and said that their cousin was in town and she was wearing a gold dress. Oh, goody, a gold dress always makes a splash at a party.)

During the soak in the tub, Nancy had revisited the highlights of yesterday's shopping and was ready to call a cab and leave. She wondered if Bonniegirl was around and would like the gifts that Nancy had for her.

Hey everyone Nyte has a phone booth! Something the hidey hole has been lacking ! How cool .

Now we dont have to have everyone trying to use the phone at the bait /tackle and doughnut shop causing a line outside the door for yards and blocking the entrance to all the goodies inside . Of course this only occurs on the days the kbv joose ordering is open but it is a bit of a pain in the bum.

Thanks nyte for bringing your phone to the hidey hole !

/grin

Happy to help, and with it being bigger on the inside and all...there would be room for everyone!

I'll have to ask the guy who owns the little blue box if there is a phone in here somewhere... If not, I'm sure he could make one.


/closes the blue door as a faint "whooshing" noise is heard.

*Bonniegirl passes the outhouses and sees sweet aubs toesies are not dangling from outhouse number one as usual...........was quite odd for sure. All of the fisherfolk had lined up outside the hatchery in hopes of getting some of the newest catches and the line went on for miles. Bonniegirl slipped round the back end and whistled for Missy to get her attention and Missy slipped a few bottles of gooey better cake out the window and said to keep quiet about it. Keeping quiet was not one of Boniegirls better character descriptions but she agreed without the consent of the Ms Walker, who usually was responsible for bonniegirls ' promise breaking. The Ms Walker had done all sorts of things to Bonniegirl but after such a lengthy friendship, twas hard to break. Heck,Bonniegirl and the Ms Walker were practically kinfolk. Bonniegirl slipped through the trees and out to the line and saw many new fisherfolk waiting and talking and comparing and discussing............same sheet, different day. Today was not a day for talking. Today Bonniegirl was on a mission. She had to show Preacherman Hy THE picture. Preacherman Hy would feel so human, so normal, so LIKE everyone else after seeing that Bee Oh Bee also liked to sit in the water with his clothes on. Bonniegirl owed this to preacherman Hy. He had been the comforter, the fortress in a storm, the one she could boo and hoo to and he never, not even once, was judgmental or critical. He didn't even mind that her ..... smelled of fish as he knew the poor mangy ..... would eat nothing but fish skin and that was the end of it. Bonniegirl reached into the recesses of the abyss of bosom to withdrawal the picture, the proof, the evidence and shuffled off to the Preacherman Hy lean to. Well, everyday she shuffles as the moccasins were scruunched down on the backs and hard to lift off the grond nd keep on the feet. As she shuffled, she decided to sing a song to herself and chose a newer version of an older song but barely knew the words. The possum posse ran at the screeching voice and the song came to an abrupt halt. Bonniegirl mumbled alod to herself as she shuffled, using the trees and the branches as guides and banks to assist in the shffle off to preachermans*

Dis cheer picturin gonna bees dah bestest thang what dat preacherin man eber seen.He gonna see dat he ain't dah onliestone what sits in dat dare water wid hees clothes on. dat gonna makes him reel happyin an all an dat dare Bee Oh Beein ees gonna be raht mad tah findin dat i be duh one what showed em.

*Bonniegirl approached the lean to and saw the Preacherman Hy sitting in his rocky chair and humming a hymn and smiling.Bonnegirl noticed that them preaching people seemed to smile a lot to themselves and she wondered why but would ask that at a later time. Right now, she had photos to share and proof that Preacherman wasn't the only one that sat n the water with his clothes on.*

"Well Halllooooo Bonniegirl" Preacherman Hy was so glad t'see his friend as he sat there on the porch o da lean2, eyes closed and singin' da old songs... the ones what his granpa sung... n heard someone a walkin' up across the stream. "So nahc ta see ya. Ya been gone a spell with the drivin' n hostessen n sightseein..... n Ima hopin' ya got some good stories t' tell". Preacherman always loved t' hear Bonnie tell her stories. Even the ones that were somewhat skewed by the influence of that ole ms Walker in da red dress, or sometimes the blue dress. "here Bonnie, you jes sitcherseff down in this cheer rockychair. I got it warm fer ya. n I'll sit on the stoop n you tell me all about yer advenchures."

*Bonniegirl had watched the line grow and grow and everyone was jolly as they waited. All were telling jokes and sharing musical selections and discussing things with definite sexual undertones and innuendo and all were odd. These folks were not "ODD" in an odd way. They were merely different and not of the ordinary *well, the dictionary don't lie". There was talk of a gooey better cake and all wanted to fill their nets with it. New faces abounded and all were odd and nice and nice and odd. Bonniegirl smiled and reached into her brassiere to fetch her gooey better cake and found it right under the left bosom beneath the Mommas Angel wings. The left bosom was the one for special things as it was closest to her heart. The world swerved a bit off it's axis and Bonniegirl held onto a tree limb but found it was a sapling and could not bear the weight of this and she fell on her rump and all the contents of the bosom fell upon the mossy floor of the hidey hole at Lake Fishigan U. S. of A. These Earth movings had been happening more and more and twas a good thing the trees and the vines and the outhouses and cabins and lean to's were there or her rump would have been shredded like wheat or her rump roasted in the campfire. The possum posse giggled and scurried away after snatching the ounce of gooey better cake and running through the thick brush. Bonniegirl spoke aloud in her usual mumbly tone ..........as usual...........*

Dem dare possums ain't up to good. Dey ees good fer nuttin an day be a takin me gooeyin betterin cake too. Dat be duh worsest fang what coulda happenin cheer. Now dat duh kickin bassin bees closin an all an me wifout mah newestin favoritin joose. Imma git me sum uh dem possum catchin fangs tah cage em up an all. Dey be scoundrils an we bees a needin a parkin rangerin roun cheer wid all dees new fisherfolkin comins tah dis cheer hidey hole. Ya cain't eben hidin een dis cheer hiney hole no moe...............Imma takin care uh dis cheer prolem.

*Bonniegirl used the trees and vines to right herself and waited for the sea legs to settle to the Earths gravitational pull and stood to steady herself. She lifted the brown bagged libations to her lips and took a good long draw followed by an "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" which was then followed by a huge burp with some residual moistness following.....(Don't LOL ya'll has had a nasty wet burp yerself).........just then, Bonniegirl felt the familiar rumblings in the stomach area tellin her it was her thinkin time and she shuffled as quickly as possible through the crowd of lined up folks sayin "scuse me, scuse me, scuse me" until she was sick of hearing herself say it and realized crossing the line once would prolly be a better way rather than the weaving in and out the snake of people covering the outhouse doors. Outhouse number one was empty! That never happened as Aubergine usually had dibs on number one in the early morn until late in the day. She liked the cozy outhouse and the thinking and the quiet and the rustic feel and every once in a while, folks could see a cozy quilt danglin and some talking with melodic lyrical tones. Mostly, though, outhouse one with aubs toesies hanging was a s common as a housefly or apple pie at the hidey hole. It was just the way it was, nothing more or nothing less. Bonniegirl opened outhouse door number two and was about to enter when a skidding noise was heard and a pink General Lee Huffy rode up and skidded to a halt right in front of the door and Bee Oh Bee himself ran into the door and then turned and with a red face mumbled something about shufflin and went around the now closed door and opened and snaked himself inside and a "WHEW" was heard aloud. Bonniegirl was outhouseless. She did a fine rendition of the pee pee dance and a nice attempt at kiegle exercises from the back door but to no avail. Nature would call.........was calling and when nature called, well, it hollered. Bonniegirl noticed the bike with the raccoon tail and a card clothespinned to the spokes and a basket full of aromatic jooses and found a bundle of gooey better cake and well.........she always subscribed to the finders keepers rule and stuffed all into her bosom. She then had to pay mind to the calling of nature and thought the General Lee Huffy would be a good get away vehicle to take her to parts unknown to relieve herself of unknown parts. Bonniegirl stuffed the dress between her legs, threw the left leg over the seat and placed her right foot planted on the mossy ground. In one fell swoop she pushed with the right foot and lurched forward and off she rode on a down ward spiral toward the dock. Suffice to say that this story will not end well or dry as all in line heard the familiar raspy hollerin................*

Hep me lawd...................Hep yer bonniegerl fer duh lub uh god an all dat bees holy.............hep me!

*The voice volume lowered as she went down the hill and the kerplunk, kerplunk of the dock deck boards were hit with the tires and made an ominous sound before the splat of bike, woman and bosom belongings went for the dip.Twas a horrid shame she never learned to ride a bike and forgot she didn't know how or this travesty would never have happened. Even though, It was an uneventful happening at Lake Fishigan for the familiar holler of "Man overboard" and everyone assumed it was the usual daily dunking of Ciego and went about their usual routine knowing his buoyant blow up girl would always be there. Bonniegirl had no such doll and would need to rely on God, a bit of luck and medic and her baywatchin crew.*


Pass the popcorn please...............God knows who will rescue Bonniegirl and what she will say when she is rescued.............and how will the joose get delivered with the pink General Lee Huffy taking a dip?

/yawns...stretches sleepily.

g'morning Hidey Hole! So happy to see all the celebratin' going on 'round here. Love it! Myself, I had a dentist appt at the the buttcrack of dawn this morning. Came home and passed out again. (I just don't do well with those numbing shots...) But now I feel fabulous, even if I am still a little numb. I know this might sound really strange, but I'm probably the only person in the world that REALLY wanted to go to the dentist. (Numerous toofus problems) I can smile now without feeling embarrassed! Oh happy day!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday. (Wait...wonderful...monday? Do those exist?)

(P.S I got KBV vapemail today! Candy bar and Hobber Bobber! /digs out ye old testing atty)

(p.p.s. Trying to decide on my costume... I have a replica "green curtain" dress from Gone with the Wind, a gothic clown, or a sweet vampire one... hmm, decisions!)

*** Medic slowly down the steps of her lifeguard station (she knows it's Bonnie and she is a fighter). As see gets closer and closer she walks out into the water, grabs Bonnie's arm, and says
"stand up Bonnie, it's only a foot deep here" then she walks back to her stand shaking her head and mumbling boB and yssiM don't pay me enough for this****

@boB.... I'm thinkin' Bonniegirl stole yer General Huffy Lee on acounta you "liked" her. I can't beeleeeve you "liked" her. I'm askeered t' "like" Bonnie. Not askeered t' like her cuz I likes bonnie bunches... as it were..... but you musta not liked her much when you "liked" her cuz you know how she is.... uhm.... just sayin' ....... so to speak.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

Novella chapter yada yada yada ....
*Preacherman HyOnLyph peeks out of his lean2 just in time to see BiancaMontgomery sneakin' past the fire. ** "CHELLE!!!! So Very Nice t' see ya!! There's always a stump by the fire with yer name on it. Have you seen Bonniegirl? Heard she wuz hereabouts .. screemin' bout sumthin'.... I looked around but she's nowhere t'be found. Hope she's ok. "

"Folks are gathered all around the fire feestin' on the catch-o-th'-day. Some are linin' the shore waitin' to catch sumpin'. Whoa, the hidey hole population has grown. Vapin' this n that... I heard someone even offerin' ..... uhm...... favors?... for joose. (heavy sigh).. I'm thinkin' it's bout time t' toss a few folks off the dock ... the hot weather's gettin' to em. Just sayin'. Sure glad boB's a man of integrity.
With the stock market the way it is... joose'll be the new gold. If'n a loaf o bread 'll buy ya a bag a gold... da joose'll buy ya a condo in Malibu. .... so to speak...... just sayin'"

* Hy ponders the blessin's of the hidey hole n the folks gatherin' .... look what a great work boB n yssiM has been blessed with.... ' "Deut 15:10... Give generously and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to." I'm thinkin' I cud preach a sermon..... ahhh.... but another time."**

*walks around dazed and confused *nuttin new* with a Novella post dying to get out and dun know where to post it*


oh woe is me and my Novella, no home for me, no rest for the weary...............hey! Where is my cabin on wheels? Did someone move the gypsies out? This is horrid.....................lost and confused...................here or there?Where?

This fish smelly ..... is heavy carrying it around lookin for mah home!

/peeks into the thread...


/shifty eyes....


/streaks through the thread while screaming "WHEEEEEE!"


/disappears into the woods....

*yawns a bit and stretches her paws out in front of her just barely opening her eyes as she catches a glimpse of somethin' peculiar. She picks up her custom built multi-technical digity doodad and puts an email in to the local radio station about a mysterious nude wild runaway blue booth. Suggests some of them moguls come out to start filming 'Tardis's Gone Wild'.*




Have you sent zbasspro a pm through the forum? Might wanna give that a try.

Around that time till the 4th they were out of town on vacation. Bob has also mentioned that there have been some issues in regards to emails bouncing with some ISP's due to some software changes that the ISP's are implementing. I'd chalk it up to the internet gremlins being naughty.

0oh ooh, hide and seek *Tag* Your it

If anyone happened to have seen someone that resembled me earlier...


...that was Evil Nyte. She has been returned to her cage.

No T-shirts...but watch for the Ciego Brand Silk Thongs (TM) embroidered with KBV logos and names of juice. LOL

The drawing board is heating up at the KBV R&D center. We actually just hired some OompaLoompas to embroider the thongs, as Mini_Art is very busy making custom lanyard bags etc.

Problem with OompaLoompas is that they're totally allergic to propylene glycol. Nothing worse than a sneezing Oompa.

On another more sinister note: Vomit Vapor is stepping up their industrial espionage efforts to try and reverse engineer KBV juices. Their GMO is a frightening takeoff on OMG. And of course, Swing Your Angel Momma, while nowhere near to a KBV juice of a similar name, was an attempt to come up with a rice pudding vape with raisins. Sadly, the raisins clog atomizers. Finally they've come up with a honeysuckle they're calling Hum My Birdie...not good.

Watch your backs, Missy and Bob! You never know when the evildoers of Vomit Vapor (TM) will be spying on you!

Someone has to pm me who VomitVapor is. I keep seeing that pop up in convo.

It right next to the jail in lake fishigan county . Well it was but the jail burned down and I think that they are using the remnants of it for fueling the pvs over there at vomit vapor.

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

***Novella Chapter 69, Page 69, Line 62, This thing wasn't made in 7 days...***

Sheriff Dalton strolls on up to the Hidey Hole, noting how abnormally quiet this place has been as of late. "Quiet or not, they continue to litter the Hidey Hole with burnt out cartos and empty joose bottles. Who get's the joy of cleaning this mess up? Good ole Sheriff Dalton of course. They didn't even have the courtesy of sharin' a vape with me." As he strolls through with his trash spear and garbage bag, he finds a bottle of Gooey Better Cake joose about a third full behind a stump... "Well, they obviously don't care if they left it here to get thrown out. What could it hurt for me to use a bit fer ma'self?" Then he realizes he ain't got a PV, or even two sticks to rub together to vape the yummy goodness with. Lookin' around, he finds a few remaining parts left over from that ol' thonged bandits A.N.U.S. Thinking to himself, "If I use my po' liss issued tazer to power it, I imagine I can prolly make a right effective PV..." Pickin up the scraps of that broke down A.N.U.S., he starts pichurrin' how ta put it all together... and then he realized he ain't got no way ta cut wires. "Why, I can just bite off the insulation.", he says to himself. Tryin ta hold his tazer and all the old oily A.N.U.S. parts, he accidentally spills the wondrous joose all over the tazer. "Dangit!", he says, "I'm gitten this vape one way ur the other..." The Hidey Hole being a right easy goin' place, he ain't ever fired his tazer bafore..."How much could it hurt really? It'a be worth it fer a taste of that oh so yummy better cake vape!"

 

[Dalton63841]

Continued...

***Novella, Chapter 77 (you get 8 more with 77)**

Hearing the telltale TICK-TICK-TICK of an electrical torture weapon followed by the unearthly scream of someone who just kissed its business end, Ciego darts into the clearing.

Sheriff Dalton, are you okay?

** Ciego sees the oily broken pieces of his A.N.U.S. (Armageddon Nicotine Use System) lying on the ground, he quickly puts the pices (the puzzle, not the A..U.S.) together.**

Aw crap, Sheriff! You didn't try to use your taser as a PV!?

* The lawman continues to flop like a crappie.*

Where's that Medic when we need her?

The Novella....... it's all Pink.....

The General Huffy Lee is. *boB opens the door and notices his bike is gone.......... staring down at the Lake he sees Medic assisting bonniegirl* "Well KMA (never say never could be a joose) those signs I placed just for her that read Danger deep water up to 2ft didn't even help!"

*Hair standing up from the electricity of the A.N.U.S. ( Armageddon Nicotine Use System) sees the smoldering gas (not flatulence) coming from Ciego and Dalton* "Guys that tazer I think finally did the A.N.U.S. in, it's puckered so tight you couldn't get a toothpick in it let alone a drop of joose"............

 

[medic123]

Way to go Dalton...Job well done.

 

[zbasspro]

108 posts! Dalton you've become an instant legend! And now I hear rumors of an ebook?

 

[Dalton63841]

108 posts! Dalton you've become an instant legend! And now I hear rumors of an ebook?

LMAO! The forum software prevents you from making a post beyond a certain number of characters, so the Novella was split into 106 multi-quotes. I separated by chapter markers, Jelly Man Says, Mod Ho Knows, Dontcha Just Hate, and in the case of LONG chapters, I split them in half or more as necessary.

The ebook is something I am working on in my spare time when I get bored. Basically just turning the thread pages of the Novella into images, editting out excess forum images, etc, and converting to a pdf. Of course their will be more obvious chapter markers, table of contents, list of credited authors(everyone who has contributed to the story), title page, etc...

 

[ChrisKY]

***walking threw the morning dew along the trails of Lake Fishigan, U. S. of A. The long lost motorbike repairman nears his home after a endless string of family drama, home repair, yard work, daughter maintenance and miscellaneous honey-does... Things seem familiar, but different somehow. making the last turn in the trail, expecting the sight of the long neglected bike & ATV shop and...***

Who moved my shop? It was on the left of the trail and now it's on the right!!! Wait - Bonnie's stump is a good 6-7 Mrs Walker stumbles closer than it was and where is the Preacher Man HyOnLyphs rocking chair!!! The coffee shop is further down than when I left too!

*** pulling out his iPhone the JellyMan starts searching through ECF to find out what happened... DALTON!!! Who is Dalton and why did he move... KBV subforum??? Novella thread!!! OMG (not da joose) WTF (again... Not da joose) is going on here!

Where is Bonnie and Ciego! Be-oh-Be save me... They done moved everything on me! I'm lost I tell ya!!!

Reaching into a stuffed saddlebag Jelly Man pulls out a bottle of black dress wearing Mrs Walker and no matter the hour takes a long pull... Tears on his cheeks, he wonders down the trail in the general direction of the Ol campfire and his (hopefully still there) stump... Woe is me!!! I will never find anyone now!

 

[HyOnLyph]

**** Preacherman gets up from his computin' chair in the darkest corner of the lean2, stretches as if he'd been at it for hours... (cuz he has) and steps over to the old apple crate where the coffee pot sits... Hy pours hiseff a steaming cup o joe that's much older than he likes to admit... into a mug that ain't been washed in a ....'s age... takes a long slow vape of a little pineapple shake and heads out to the porch.

Hy stares out into the clearing n sees that ol' KY geneman sorta stumplin' around like he's lookin' at the place for the first time... ChrisKY looks over and waves.... with both hands for some reason. Preacher waves back, bends at the knees n sits hiseff down into that form-fitted, perfectly sculpted rocky ch------ "WTF???" (not the joose) [pardon my language folks... but preacher done falled flat on his .... uhm ..... his .... well.... his bass.... so to speak.] Coffee's now all over da place includin' Hy's freshly-washed-just-a-few-days-ago T-Shirt.... His GLV supermini has shot across da porch, down da stairs n into da dirt. (good thing he wasn't vapin' his wonnermous n sentimental Protege 901 cuz then there'd be a lot of repentin' ta do for da words what woulda come out n we'da had t'call the FBI.)

"WHAT DA HECK HAPPENED T' MY ROCKYCHAIR. Call da Shareeef .... we'z got us a rockychair theif."

**ChrisKY is laughin' his bass off at Hy's predicament. In fact he'z snortin' n chortlin' n gufawwin' up a storm.**

(hang on folks, hopefully Chris is comin' over t' hep ole preacherman up off his backside n clean up a bit.....

oh but nooooo.... he'z got his eye on the GLV in da dirt.)

*** there's an eeeerie Twilight Zone-ish, other dimensional feel to the place. Things is where they belong sorta... but sorta not... n da folks o' da HideyHole is nowhere to be found at the moment n stuff just aint where it was or it aint at all???? It's a great mystery...****

 

[Ciego]

Novella, Chapter 69, verse 96...'cause Ciego inevitably gets things backwards....

** Ciego rises from his makeshift campsite deep in the .....

willows, stretches, scratches and yawns. **

Man, I need me some coffee, and pronto.

*** Ciego stumbles over to the old Coleman camp stove, pumps the tank and ignites a flame, then fills the pot with lake water and puts in some freshly-ground Costa Rican Fandango Fundildo coffee. Immediately, the pot begins to bubble, and soon the rich, spicy aroma of the rare Central American coffee fills the air.**

Ah! Next to the scent of OMG, nothing beats the smell of freshly-brewed coffee first thing on a Sunday morning!

** The shore of Lake Fishigan is so quiet, the only sounds coming from night insects nearly ready for bed and the gentle lapping of waves on the lakeshore. Oh, and the sound of Ciego whizzing in the rose bush....**

Ah!

**Ruminates**

Y'know, it has been awhile since I've been down here. Lotsa new folks around the campfire, some missing faces/voices. Man, I love this place, almost as much as I love this juice.

** Takes a pull on his 5 volt Foxy Box, the 510 carto filled to the brim with Gooey Better Cake juice.**

Ah!

** Loudly breaks wind.**

Whoops! Hey, since I'm the first one awake around here, maybe I should use this ridiculously sharp axe to chop up some wood for the campfire...

To be continued....

 

[mini_art]

Mini strolls down the path from the cabin that took her a coons age to find again toward the lake .

Bright early morning dew glistening on the grass and the lake as still as a mill pond . What a lovely morning . Guess I better see if the coffees on cause people will be wantin their doughnuts and coffee soon.

Wait ! wth is Ciego doin with that axe! No one got the sense not to leave that out there were he could find it ?? Dont he know he blind ? Sometimes I swear he doesnt remember that ! OMG there goes the dock ! pieces of it flying everywhere . He thinks hes choppin firewood , hes gonna lose his foot he keeps this up !

I better to take that thing away from him before he hurts hiself and boB kills him for destroyin the new dock !

On a dead run for the dock Mini doesnt see Ciego anymore , ...... where did he go ?? .....he just vanished !!

 

[medic123]

***Medic walks around the lake, she feels lost. She can’t seem to find anything where it should be. Everything is a little different, a little off.
The house on stilts is still there, still bright yellow, but the yellow seems a little faded. She feels a little nostalgic today; wishing things didn’t have to change. The lake still looks full of good catches and fun, but kind of empty. Suddenly she shakes off the feeling of sadness; something’s are still the same. Mini’s coffee and donut shop is still there with the best coffee in the world, the fire is still going, the stumps are still there for us to sit on, the dock is still there…..wait where is the dock? What is Ciego doing? Where is he at? boB is going to kill him if he destroyed the dock******Oh NO, Did he fall in the lake again? Okay some things really never change. ****Medic runs to the lake to try and find Ciego, maybe she is not too late******

 

[Ciego]

** Ciego lowers the ridiculously sharp axe after chopping up some mighty fine logs for the fire.**

There we go! And not one little bleeding nick from misuse of this axe. (I did after all, earn my "Totin;' Chip" card while still a young Beaver Scout).

** He stacks the logs into a neat pile near the campfire ring.**

Golly, wonder what Mini is going on about? What missing dock? Blind I might be, but not usually stoooopid...I'd never chop up the dock! That's just plain silly....er....oh wait....

** Carefully examines the woodpile and discovers that instead of round logs, the pile consists of treated two-by-fours.....**

Aw, crap!

** Unwilling to face Bob's wrath, Ciego runs pell-mell toward the lake and trips, falling face-first into the .....


willows. **

Aw, crap!

 

[HyOnLyph]

*** Well... Preacherman has picked hisseff up off his backside (no thanks to ChrisKY or Ciego who just left him there whilst they wrestled over the new matte black GLV lyin' in da dirt.) It's noted that things are a little different. Hy walks on over to the fire and puts a few logs on it. **

** waves with enthusiasm at medic**
"Medic, c'mon over here an set a spell. Share a little joose I have here."

"Chin up & all that...... We gotta git this thing t'blazin'..... shed a little light on da ole hidey hole. A beacon for folks to ralley 'round. Yeah there may be a few cobwebs hangin' in the thorny rose bushes and ..... willows, there may be a few stumps what aint been set on in a fur piece. But even if we'z been transported inta a 'nuther dymenshun.... we'z still the same folks. & it's da folks what makes the hidey hole what it is."

** The fire blazes & Hy throws a few more logs on just to stoke it up to what some might call..... well....... a Bahn-fire... so to speak. The yellows on the stilt-house brighten... no more shadows or fadin'... even Bonniegirls shingled camper looks to be a little less grey... ***

"Don't pay no nevermind that stuff is changed.... the lake is da same, da catch is just as awesome, & most of all, da folks is just as nice and ..... well...... just as ...ODD as we wuz b'for.

boB (that's bee ohhh BEE) n da beeutiful yssiM is here in da hidey hole stockin' da lake, God's in da midst and all's right with da world. It's all gonna be just fine.".....



(grab some popcorn, pull up a stump and join in. It makes no nevermind if you think you got the gift. We luvs ya no matter... C'mon... join in n say a few words. )

 

[Ciego]

** Ciego is enjoying the hot, humid August night by the Hidey Hole.**

Ah! What could be better? Warm night, gentle breeze...and a brand-new thong!

** Ciego does a muscle man pose in front of an imaginary mirror.**

All the girls of the world...beware!

** Puffs out his chest and tries a Tarzan yell....**

Ah-eee-ah-eeee-aheee....cough...cough....cough....cough.... Aw crap! Lungs still healing from 35 years of cigarette abuse.

** Ciego's breath wilts a .....


willow. **

Aw...crap! I need a breath freshener. Hey! I got it! A vape of the Cinnamint!


** Drips a few droplets of the precious KBV Cinnamint into a LR atomizer on his Foxy Box and presses the magic button... The light from the bright-... blue LED is so brilliant that it immediately attracts a swarm of hungry mosquitos, not known for their respect of a semi-naked fat blind guy in a black KBV thong...**

AW......CRAP!!!!


To be continued...

 

[medic123]

Has anybody else noticed that Funhouse they put up across the lake? Those people are really ODD more so than our normal level of ODD... but they are fun.

 

[Dalton63841]

Has anybody else noticed that Funhouse they put up across the lake? Those people are really ODD more so than our normal level of ODD... but they are fun.

Ya gotta keep a close eye on your stuff over there though... There's people gettin' sprayed in the face with their joose, and heck, one guy's joose was contaminated with Vomit Vapor Tuna...