Went into the ground floor of the Oklahoma County Courthouse to the sounds of sirens and saw a bunch of worried people gathered there. I stood on a soapbox and announced in my best superhero voice:
"Good citizens of Oklahoma County, fear not! I have lived in Oklahoma for my entire life and have never seen a tornado! I have even gone looking for the last dozen, and have not found a single one, for they have all gone in the opposite direction! I am a human tornado repellant! As long as you stay in the vicinity of ME, you will be safe!"
Some looked at me like I was out of my mind, the courthouse regulars clapped and applauded.
Then I felt like a total .... once I heard about the devastation in Moore. Damn.