A few years back, I went to visit TexasT. After hours of driving, I finally arrived at T's house. I was a bit tired from the long drive.
I walked up to the front porch, walked up the stairs and tiredly knocked on the door. There wasn't any answer. I waited a little bit while listening for any sounds inside. I decided to knock again, this time a little harder. Again, no answer nor any sound. I waited about a minute or two and this time I pounded on the door. Still, not a single sound or response.
TexasT has a small chair by the door and I decided to sit for a minute while I waited for some sign that they were home. Not a second after my bottom hits the chair, a hear someone walking toward the porch. It was Mrs. T. She was breathing a little hard. A look of frustration on her face.
"Hello David", she said as she looked me over.
"Hello Mrs. T", I replied. "Where is T?"
A smile graced her lips and a look of satisfaction came to her face. "Oh, he is where he belongs!"
I knew something wasn't right. I kept any sign of concern inside and just nodded. He walked past me, opened the door and went inside. In the distance, I heard her laugh. It was almost an evil laugh. One that gave me chills. "Check the barn" was soon to follow. I knew right away, I had to find T. I didn't hesitate!
It was a short jog past the house to get to the barn. There is a small field between it and the house. At my pace, it mustn't taken me more than a minute to get there. It seemed like an hour.
I noticed right away that there was a light on in the barn. One of the barn doors was closed. The other was ajar. I realized that I hadn't prepared myself for what was in the barn. In my haste to get to T, I hadn't prepared for much. This realization slowed my pace and I prepared for the worst. Was T still alive? Was he wounded? I had no idea what I was about to find but, the sound of the laugh... The almost evil screech... It was still fresh in my mind. I was scared. I peered in the doorway.
There was nothing there! The barn looked no different than it ever does. The hay was bailed in the back. The stalls were empty. Tools were scattered about. The cow was in the middle of the barn staring at me. Nothing seemed out of place. Except, there was something amiss with the cow. Its facial expression looked as if it were begging. As if it were longing for help. I don't think I had ever seen a cow cry but, it looked as if there were tears welling up in its eyes. I had to find out what was going on and entered the barn, slowly walking towards the cow. That was when I saw it!
The cow was upset. I now understood the emotion. It was hard to see from the angle I had entered the barn but, now it was as clear as day. The cow and T were joined, behind the cow and not in a good way. I could see T's legs, body and arms but, his head. Well, let's just say that the cow was having a bad day and I was left wondering if T could breath. I immediately ran behind the cow, put my leg on its, ummm, cheek. Grabbed T by the shoulder and pulled. T's head came dislodged with a "pop"!
T gave me the saddest look I had ever seen in my life. He was panting, as if he was holding his breath the whole time. I stifled a laugh and shook my head.
"What happened?", I asked.
"Well, we was heading out and Mrs. T was puttin' on her fifth dress. It was the same one she put on the first time. I was hungry! I said 'come on woman' and she said the same thing she said four times before!"
"What was that", I asked. At this point, I thought a long story was coming. T found himself a towel and was cleaning himself off.
"Well, she asked me if the dress made her look fat again", and he emphasized the "again!"
"Oh no. You didn't!", I exclaimed.
"And all I said...", and like the loudest, most sarcastic Moo a cow could ever give he explained, "Noooo!"