Valley View Vapes - Weekly Contest and Chit Chat thread - Win a Free Tank!

[RayN]

Hi Everyone and Welcome to Valley View Vapes!

​

If you haven't seen my site before, I encourage you to go visit.
I sell Polypropylene and Pyrex tanks at unbelievably LOW prices every day!
If you find a better deal somewhere else, let me know. I will not just match their price, I will beat it.
(Must be for the same quantities of the exact same item.)

Now for my First weekly contest:
Contest will end Friday Night at midnight Central time.
Rules are simple, post a funny joke (keep it clean folks) or a funny story.
Enter as often as you like, but no double postings.
Repeating someone elses posted joke will not count, so be original.
Feel free to just chit chat as well. (These posts will not count as entries however.)
Winner will be chosen by random.org until there is a match with a joke/story thread number.
Winning entry will be announced on Saturday and a new Contest will be started at that time.
Winner will receive a polypropylene tank of their choice (or a $10 store gift certificate if they prefer).
There MAY be additional prizes awarded.

 

[CcaT]

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"

Thanks for the contest! Looking forward to skimming through all the jokes.

 

[RayN]

LOL! And yes, me too. Should be a fun contest!

 

[YoureFired]

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"

Thanks for the contest! Looking forward to skimming through all the jokes.

Ahahaha, good one CcaT! This is going to be a fun thread. Thanks Ray...... *Subscribed*

 

[CcaT]

 

[Karn]

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

 

[windy33]

I never remember jokes lol so I'll just hang out till next contest!!!Thanks Ray

 

[MissP]

What happens when a frog double parks??? He gets TOAD (towed for those that dont get it ;p )

Thanks for the contest

 

[Uncle]

Really Nice Choice for a Contest "RayN" . . .

Can't wait to read and see whatelse people submit as entries . . .

GOOD LUCK - Everyone

 

[RayN]

I never remember jokes lol so I'll just hang out till next contest!!!Thanks Ray

LOL I'm the same way Windy

 

[Karn]

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

 

[CcaT]

What happens when a frog double parks??? He gets TOAD (towed for those that dont get it ;p )

Thanks for the contest

That's awful and I like it.

 

[Karn]

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

 

[MissP]

Hey, Ccat... if you liked that one....

Why did the Whale cross the ocean??? To get to the other tide!!

 

[RayN]

Hey, Ccat... if you liked that one....

Why did the Whale cross the ocean??? To get to the other tide!!

::groan::

 

[CcaT]

Hey, Ccat... if you liked that one....

Why did the Whale cross the ocean??? To get to the other tide!!

.......

 

[spazatabc]

I read this one the other day.

"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied,
and she was fined seventy-five dollars for not wearing a seatbelt.

She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined
her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck
and she marked the check stub, "One pullover: $75."

 

[Yeah_its_me]

A blonde walked into a bar
OUCHH!!!

 

[beamrider]

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me honestly, do you say your prayers before eating?"

"No ma'am" little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

 

[CcaT]

So ray, do only posts with jokes count as entries or do the ones with editorial comments count too?