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3. Whaddaya get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?
They have not named it yet but there are some great big holes all over australia
They have not named it yet but there are some great big holes all over australia
1)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
1
I wanted a whistle for my 40th birthday but my wife bought me an inhaler instead.
I wanted a whistle for my 40th birthday but my wife bought me an inhaler instead.
2)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
2
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
3
Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Catfish?
A: One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is just a fish.
Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Catfish?
A: One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is just a fish.
3)
Why did the siamese twins move to England?
So the other one could learn to drive.
Why did the siamese twins move to England?
So the other one could learn to drive.
3)
Things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
4)
Things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
5
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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