Valley View Vapes - Weekly Contest and Chit Chat thread - Win a Free Tank!
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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, do you realize you have a steering wheel stuffed down the front of your pants? "Aye," says the pirate, "It's drivin' me nuts."
Two snowmen are standing in a field.
One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave.
Suddenly, on of the muffins says: "Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims, "Look a talking muffin!!!!"
Suddenly, on of the muffins says: "Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims, "Look a talking muffin!!!!"
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a Tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a Tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed........
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a Tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a Tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed........
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
There was a knock on the door this past Saturday
morning.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello ma'am, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and
asked "What do you want to talk about?"
"Beats the
out of me, nobody ever let me in before."
morning.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello ma'am, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and
asked "What do you want to talk about?"
"Beats the
out of me, nobody ever let me in before."
A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey , could I get a beer please."
The bartender looks at him and shakes his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here"
The bartender looks at him and shakes his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here"
You have to feel sorry for the agnostic dyslexic insomniac.
He stays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog...
He stays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog...
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
He's all right now.
A horse walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?" 
How does a spoiled girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
So ray, do only posts with jokes count as entries or do the ones with editorial comments count too?
Just Jokes
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