ok, so I live with my Roommate for 10 plus years, he not only has mental illness from his accident, but clearly was a bipolar or something prior to the accident. He has tremendous anger issues that would make most people shrink away, runaway, cover your head on the way out the door, cause there is something flying at your head that he threw at you. The screaming is the worst part, I had to tell my neighbor to ignore it and not to worry he wouldn't hurt me no matter what she hears him say. Other wise I am sure the police would be here all the time. That is mental illness.
Since, I cannot run any longer, it has become an issue, however, he pays all the bills, and he can be very kind, it is a mess to say the least. I have no other options at this time. so don't say leave, I am aware that it isn't good. I can't live in a shelter in my condition any better than here, I won't go to a nursing home yet, I would die there sooner. I will live on my own for as long as I can. No, I can't live in NY with my sister, she has her own family. I would not like it. I visited and that was enough.
No one can control his temper, he will never go for help, (he is a psychologist himself) He knows he is a bit nuts. apologizes when he is sane. If I win my case, I will think long and hard about leaving, I want to but, I do feel sorry for him and he did help me. I also will have very little to live on 2 incomes make for a better life. I might force him to seek help once I am settled, I will have the upper hand so to speak. He is definitely worse in the last year, it could be hardening of the arteries in the brain. If I could get him to see a doctor about it I am sure it could be fixed at least calmed down. He has insurance, he just won't go.
He also has paranoid moments, so those are the worse moments, he comes up with things that blow my mind, I have poisoned his food, caused his allergies, and conspired against him on a million occasions (I wish I was that smart) I deal with this everyday. No rest for the weary. Today, he is calm all day and yesterday as well. You can almost predict when it will come, he gets "fevers" that require cold compress and then Aleve but the "fever" is an indicator that he will go off. It could also be Alzheimer's, but I know of no history in his family. He is also not forgetful at all. I on the other hand forget everything.
I am just another soldier of war.
(Drum roll please) Today is my 6 month anniversary of quitting smoking!!! WooHoo!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
(Drum roll please) Today is my 6 month anniversary of quitting smoking!!! WooHoo!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I gotta say that it sounds like your playing with fire there. That's in addition to immune disorders which from my info is highly reactive to stress. Your in a bind though. I don't think it's possible to live anywhere in the US just on disability.
Karen Karen Karen, you do this on a day when I am trying to force myself to get up from the computer and get some real life stuff done. lol
A little over a year ago Cliff's cousin moved here from MD and we are the only people she knows here and I got elected to run all over creation with her, she does not smoke and I was going crazy not only trying to keep up with her but grabbing a puff here and there when I could, of course no smoking in her car. Last summer I saw the cig-a-likes and wondered if that might be something I could use to make all of this easier on me, having to get up at the crack of dawn to run around with her was bad enough, and she is an organizer planner person, I tend to go with the flow and I stay up most of the night and am NOT, I repeat NOT a morning person. To tell the truth she was driving me up a wall and still does at times.
Anyway back to the story, I picked up a Blu disposable and tried it, hmmmm that's not half bad, I like it, but it is soooooooo expensive, went down to the local smoke shop to see what they had that was rechargeable and picked up a kit and some menthol cartos. I liked it pretty well and decided to to a web search for an ecig forum where I could actually learn what was good to use and what sucked and the first one to pop up was this one. I went into the new member section and asked a few questions and got a lot of answers from a lot of nice helpful people.
Next step I ordered an eGo c Twist kit that came with two batteries a charger and two vision clearomizers after realizing that the first whole day with the ecig I had only smoked 4 cigarettes all day, hmmmmmm, I didn't intend to quit just have something handier when I was out and about, but this ecig tasted better than the cig did. When my kit and some juice arrived I really liked it and was down to 2 cigs a day without even thinking about it, hmmmmmmmmmm. OK so I stayed there for a couple of weeks and in that time found all the places to order stuff from and kept reading and vaping and liking it a lot so I thought ok, lets try this eRoll thing, nice and small and discreet, easy to carry around, easier than the eGo which still seemed huge to me.
This was around the time I found this particular thread and had started posting, Lox got an iTazte vv v3 and loved it so I decided to get one, I was still looking for that right juice and vaping primarily 24 mg MBV 555 menthol that I liked a lot, tried a few others some bakery, some fruit, not impressed, and then found a local place and tried their Chai Tea Latte, I was in heaven but I'm getting ahead of myself here.
I chatted with all the nice people here and a few of them were actually quitting completely and by this time my vape was tasting way way better than the cigs, actually they were starting to tasty horrible so I thought ok lets give this a try and smoked 1 a day for about two days when the last one was so awful I nearly gagged. So I decided to just quit, Cliff still smokes so there was no avoiding cigarettes, there was a pack laying on the kitchen counter all the time, so I gave myself permission to smoke one whenever I really wanted one, but a week went by and I hadn't smoked at all. I went ahead at this point and got myself a banner and put it in my sig, had I not done that I would have smoked again, but knowing that I would have to reset or remove the banner that everyone saw if I had even one cig kept me from having that one cig.
It was rough for a while but I toughed it out and shortly after the two month mark the urge to smoke left and has only returned a couple of times and only for brief moments, now I crave vape not smoke.
I continued to get different toppers to try but at that time preferred the IClear 16s that came with my vv v3 which was my preferred device. I kept trying new juices and still hadn't found an ADV although the MOV CTL was close, I kept reading about the FDA regs coming and got worried so I got a SMOK SID so I would have something with replaceable batteries and stocked up on some juice to have in case, and some unflavored nic too.
Shortly after that I decided to try the Nickoticket line as I had read such good things about it and tried their Creme Brule, hmmmmm it was a bit overpowering at first but I knew to let it steep and it is now my favorite ADV along with several other NT juices.
The last few weeks I have ventured into dripping and rebuilding and am now using a ProVari, I wanted a really dependable PV with replaceable batteries, with a Trident Clone RDA, Aspire ET-S, Vision Eternity RDA/RBA. combo that I won at GotVapes weekly contest and on occassion a couple of 510 bridgeless attys.
I have reduced my nic level to primarily 6mg with an occassional 12 or 18 and if I'm having a rough day I may dip into one of the 24mg bottles I have left for just a little while, but usually will mix it with some 6 mg.
I hope to be at the 6 mg exclusively soon and only plan to go to 0 if FDA forces me to since nicotine is so far the only substance known to inhibit Alzheimers and I do have a family history of that.
OK now that I've bored all of you to death back to the regluar program. LOL
I don't have time to get into stories this afternoon, so I'll leave ya with this ...