Brandy,
Welcome, I am sorry for your loss, there just are no words that I can say to you. I am glad that you joined us here. I have been welcomed just recently myself and feel that these kind people are quickly becoming my friends. I know that you will feel the embrace of this little community too. Now your me time, will include all of our ups, downs, and in-betweens, a few laughs, and unfortunately some tears.
I am a good listener, feel free to PM anytime, I am up crazy hours so if I don't answer right away have no fear, I check on here often. Going back to smoking was natural and familiar and comforting. You will find support here and answers to as many questions as you might have someone here will have the experience and or knowledge to help you.
What she said, I can't say it any better .......... except I'm a Day-Timer
You're a trooper! 

