Yes I still Smoke Cigarettes and I am addicted to the smoking habit - support and chat thread.

[ShariR]

Don't you just love crazy dreams. At least you get to remember yours and laugh at them later. Me, I do not remember the fun ones and the horrible ones I usually just wake up knowing I had one. Maybe better that way.

I just hard boiled some eggs and am going to make tuna fish salad. We are chickened out for the rest of the day, all but two pieces went so I get some tomorrow.

Good afternoon all! Just woke up from a nap, dreamed I was walking into the zoo smoking a cigarette, which I looked at curiously when it didn't taste like my vape! Then I snuffed it out and stuck it in my pocket! Ewwww. Then I wanted a drink, but you could not buy a drink, only a refill. So had to go to the store to buy cups! WTH my brain is so weird. . . hope it was worth the insomnia I am about to receive tonight.

Keep thinking about dinner, but can't put together a gourmet BRAT diet meal, so I think I'll just fix toast and have some ibuprofen, my head is killing me. See you later!

 

[daleron]

{{{{{Vickie!}}}}} Bless you hon

 

[ShariR]

Well I am just one healthier than I thought human being, at least until the blood work comes back. BP was 120/72, pulse 77, I am an inch shorter than I have been all my adult life and exactly 20.3 pounds lighter than I was when I was last weighed at a doctor's office this past March. The doctor looked at my hands and feet and in my mouth and said that it is some type of dermatitis that has to do with nerves. It had a long name. (Funny that I knew that was the problem). He would not even do a culture of my mouth, said no yeast or fungus visable, nothing to culture.

He was not impressed with my spinner, but glad I quit smoking. He called in RX for all the life needed meds, but not anything for pain or anxiety (which was the problem, per what he said re my feet and hands) and says he will talk to me after my bloodwork comes back in late next week. Young doctor and charged a fortune which I wrote him a check for. He says I have to go back on the cholesterol meds, even though I don't want to - heart disease the diabetes rules that one; same with blood pressure meds.

He did mention that he wants me to stop using ecigs as soon as I can. The nurse earlier made a comment about how the vapor can lead to pneumonia. I tried to explain what is in the vapor to her; she pretty much turned her ears off. You know that look that someone gets when they are not listening anymore. Yeah, one of those. Pretty much about the same with the doctor; he was a little more able to mask it.

So I think I am going to end up being healthier than I thought. My blood is still red.

 

[daleron]

Shakin' my head Shari ... shakin' my head

 

[ShariR]

For why the head shaking, Dale? I was expecting to pay a fortune to get a non diagnosis. Wasn't sure about the baby almost lecture re the spinner. Red blood is good, I think. Closed minded people, not so good, especially when they are professionals.

 

[daleron]

Because of the stuff about the e-cigs
I got the same crap!

 

[loxmythe]

Actually my doctor is all for vaping - except for diabetics or people with circulation problems - nicotine is a vasoconstrictor. It's "harm reduction" not harmless

 

[DoloresB]

Unfortunately, Shari, most medical professionals are of the "quit-or-die" mentality, and a lot of that has to do with the brainwashing they get from Big Pharma, I'm afraid. It's no different in this country--no understanding whatsoever about e-cigs and harm reduction, and no interest in learning about it.

 

[QueenVictoria]

Thanks guys. I feel bad that I've been so wrapped up in myself that I haven't really kept up with the thread or made an effort to comment on other peoples posts. Sorry I just gripe and vent lately. I do read a little bit when I'm here. I'm happy for you Shari, teeth are a good thing. I know I'm not the only one with problems. I'm just a tad overwhelmed by mine at the moment. I haven't really even had a chance to process how I feel or deal with any of it yet. I had to go to work last night so I just had to put it aside and paint a smile on my face for 6 hours. While I was there I broke a glass and I almost burst into tears. And then today more bad news, and I'm trying to be strong for him, and not burden him with other things right now. By the way I'm in no way responsible for his medical bills. I'm sure it will be in the hundred thousands range. He would not expect me to take that on. They can just add it to his back child support debt from when I had to be on welfare before. That is the least of his worries right now. Anyway thanks again for letting me go on, and your prayers and kind words. I'll make a effort to join in the conversation more and not be such a buzz kill.
P.S. Still haven't smoked. Tomorrow will be two weeks.

 

[MorningDawn73]

(((Vicki)))) Sending strength and healing your way

 

[daleron]

Congratulations on your two weeks Vickie ... and of course you can talk about whatever is on your mind!
That's why we're all here right?

 

[beebopnjazz]

Well I was at the hospital this morning with Jason when the Doctor came in and told him that it looks like cancer. He held it together while he was there, but then he cried a little. They are going to run a couple more tests and then discharge him. He will have to go to Harbor UCLA for treatment. His parents don't know yet, he will tell them when they are there this afternoon. His mom is going to take it so hard. I feel worse for her than I do for him. She has been a wreck this whole time.

Yesterday I got a call from the police. My younger son (16) let some kids talk him into trying to steal a bottle of booze Friday night, and he was arrested yesterday at school for burglary. I had to go pick him up and we have a court date in January. We didn't tell dad yet.

My aging mother (81) keeps getting into little fender benders and I'll have to take away her keys soon or she may hurt someone or herself. I hate to do it, but I would hate more for something really bad to happen. I'll have to get my older son (17) his permit and give him a couple lessons so he can be her chauffeur.

Thanks for listening to my problems. I'm going to lay down

Oh my, so much on your plate!

Prayers being said......which cancer do they feel it is? Some are easier to treat than others as I'm sure you know. Your state medical card should take care of those bills - make sure they apply for the right one. Here in PA these social workers are right in the hospital - handle it all. Here 1 type covers the current bill and back 90 days / the other covers future bills. So he'll have to jump thru the hoops twice - presuming you have a similar program.

As for your son......be tough.....drinking at his age is bad-stealing it is another ball game.....I hope the judge finds a meaningful way to punish him that makes him think about his choices....including his "friends"

Now- your mom - can you report it to the dmv? Here they can re-test and fail them......or her doctor can pull them. You can tattle and let others take care of it which might be easier for her than having her child dictate to her, the parent.

I hope you find a way to cope....... One foot in front of the other and don't forget to breathe....

 

[Thayamax]

Vicki, I'm so sorry to hear all you're going through at once. It has to be so very difficult for you right now. Keep the faith, it will get better. Stay strong. (((Vicki)))

 

[Claudia P]

Vicki with a load to carry like this one you have to be able to talk to someone and that is what we are here for. HUGS. You go right ahead and dump all you need to here and we will do whatever we can to support you. I have no advice to offer, just support.

 

[alisa1970]

Wow, lots of heavy stuff going on here--good and bad. I don't have much to say, Vickie. Just that I hope things settle down for you and you're able to take a breath sometime soon.

Shari, I'm so excited about your teeth! Can't wait to hear your escapades with food (I promise, I won't laugh unless you do first). That little lecture you got from the doc and nurse actually made MY BP go up a little.

BF is back smoking, with absolutely no interest in vaping--says it tastes bad and he doesn't like it. This guy is stubborn as a mule, I tell you!

And JJ, thank you for the package--I'm afraid that only one person in this household will be using it. I think we might have jumped the gun a bit. eRoll is still out there though, and I'll test the waters with the new juice and tanks.

Gotta go make dinner now--see you folks later!

 

[ShariR]

Actually my doctor is all for vaping - except for diabetics or people with circulation problems - nicotine is a vasoconstrictor. It's "harm reduction" not harmless

Well I have had heart disease since 33 and I am 57 now. Twelve, yes count them, 12, angiograms and 4 angioplasties. And I can blow just as good a cloud as the next person. I am not smoking. I will take my heart attack or stroke with some vapor, please.

And I am diabetic. So if it is meant to happen, it will happen. At least I will not have a cigarette in my hand when it does. Cuz that is how it would have been before vaping.

I will be perfectly clear on one thing though. I CAN feel what my heart is doing if I vape too much or too enthusiastically. And it scares me and I stop for a while. That is why I am lowering my nicotine level to 18mg and I am vaping less at night and taking more breaks from vaping during the day. And I will continue to lower the nic level, and stop if I have to.

I don't want any of you to think that I am looking for a heart attack. Or that vaping is completely safe. I can feel it. I am sure there are others who can too. And it is not nic OD because I have felt that too, early on. Everyone just has to be careful and know their body's limits. Remember, moderation in all things. That is a goal to shoot for.

 

[ShariR]

Vicki, we welcome you here and please do vent with us. You need to have an outlet to let out some of what you are feeling or about to feel when you let yourself. We all support each other here. When you need, we give. When I need, you give. And it is a circle. A circle of love and support and kind words and sometimes just stupid stuff. There is always someone here to hear you. And if not at the moment, you can see it is almost never peopleless for more than a couple of hours.

Me, I have no problems. Nothing real big, just stuff to complain about and aggravations. I am blessed in that for today.

Thanks guys. I feel bad that I've been so wrapped up in myself that I haven't really kept up with the thread or made an effort to comment on other peoples posts. Sorry I just gripe and vent lately. I do read a little bit when I'm here. I'm happy for you Shari, teeth are a good thing. I know I'm not the only one with problems. I'm just a tad overwhelmed by mine at the moment. I haven't really even had a chance to process how I feel or deal with any of it yet. I had to go to work last night so I just had to put it aside and paint a smile on my face for 6 hours. While I was there I broke a glass and I almost burst into tears. And then today more bad news, and I'm trying to be strong for him, and not burden him with other things right now. By the way I'm in no way responsible for his medical bills. I'm sure it will be in the hundred thousands range. He would not expect me to take that on. They can just add it to his back child support debt from when I had to be on welfare before. That is the least of his worries right now. Anyway thanks again for letting me go on, and your prayers and kind words. I'll make a effort to join in the conversation more and not be such a buzz kill.
P.S. Still haven't smoked. Tomorrow will be two weeks.

 

[FinallyQuit]

I came here to whine about stopped up toilets, backed up bathtubs, and a septic tank that needs to be pumped out. Then I saw your news Vicki and now I feel so stupid! Of course you can talk to us, God knows I do enough of it, you always listen! You need a hug, a stress-reliever, and your son needs a swift kick. Good luck doll! We love you and are praying for you and yours, always.

Good night dear friends! I'm going to work tomorrow if the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, because I can't stand the sight of these 4 walls for one more day; and my kids are driving me crazy!! Bring on the work crazy, at least I get paid for that.

 

[daleron]

Night ya'll ... this is cute

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[FinallyQuit]

Night ya'll ... this is cute

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That's one smart dog, knows exactly what it wants and how to get it! Wonder if it would be willing to have a little convo with my menagerie?

Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be sleeping. Good night Dale and everyone else!