Chit Chattin away!

[pchela]

Oh, Clay, Clay, Clay. *sigh*

You've got my feminist panties all bunched up. The whole "better to beg forgiveness than ask for permission" thing is so infuriating. My husband pulled that ..... Notice I said "pulled". Doesn't fly here. If my husband ever talked to me the way you do to your wife, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. I do have some dependence issues, like your wife, my mother was overbearing and smothering and also mean and basically left me with a sense that I can't do anything on my own and I'm not good for anything. It sucks and I'm working on it and I hate that my husband has to deal with it but, he has his own issues that I deal with just like you have issues your wife deals with. If my husband pushed me like you are doing with your wife, it would only push me further away from him and most likely cause me to act out rebelliously, not doing what he wanted out of spite. The whole my way or the highway attitude is not okay for either partner to have. And I am headstrong, rebellious by nature, stubborn as hell and think I'm always right - so I understand your frustration as well. I feel like I have a unique perspective on what you've said because I have some of the same issues as your wife and some of the same issues as you. I'm also an army brat so spent my entire childhood and teens living the military lifestyle. I guess what I'm saying is, be nice to your wife. There is more than one way to get things done. She has to find her own way. Not everybody lives by a strict schedule and it is possible to still get things done without one. Encouraging and supporting is different than forcing your will on somebody. Asking is better than telling. You can't be the boss in a relationship. You have to be equals for it to work. If she's that damaged from her parents, she needs gentleness and respect from her partner, not a firm hand.

Okay, done. Probably shouldn't have said anything but it's like I couldn't help it.

 

[pchela]

Ha! I killed chat this time Jazz. It's not just you!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

Also in mathew (7:1 I believe...its been a long time) - "Judge not , lest ye be judged."

Jordon - what is friend smoking this morning? lol But I get what s/he saying.

I asked a anti-gay/equal rights marriage person why anyone else's marriage effected her? She had no answer. well duh! exactly.

She later said - but YOUR church (I'm Catholic) is against it too. I replied, yeah, and they also approved and paid for the crusades and excommunicated a dude for saying the earth revolved around the sun. They've been known to be wrong. I focus more on the verse: first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to remove the splinter from your brother's eye (Matt:7:5)

 

[Pamdane]

Well, I am fly by the seat of my pants and hubby is BAD OCD.
I just tell him to let me know what HAS to be done every week. What he would LIKE done. I keep a list of just these. The rest is mandated by what the girls want to do, what the weather will allow us to do, etc. I tell him daily what was accomplished on the list.

ITs not the best arrangement, but it works for us.
I generally do some of his work, he will do mine if he wants it done differently than I do it.

 

[Twiztid]

Pam killed chat now

 

[oldsoldier]

Well, I am fly by the seat of my pants and hubby is BAD OCD.
I just tell him to let me know what HAS to be done every week. What he would LIKE done. I keep a list of just these. The rest is mandated by what the girls want to do, what the weather will allow us to do, etc. I tell him daily what was accomplished on the list.

ITs not the best arrangement, but it works for us.
I generally do some of his work, he will do mine if he wants it done differently than I do it.

Sounds like you have got a handle on it though Pam. Compromise and communication for the win!

 

[MagnusEunson]

If she is indeed passive aggressive than a third party either needs to help her or help both of you. That third party can potentially be Experience Project — Personal Stories about any Life Experience. or a professional locally. I don't disagree with structure, and indeed disciplined structure, around a passive aggressive person. But if they're passive aggressive about their insecurities, as you seem to indicate, then a gentle hand is going to have to be applied.

Sounds like a minor frustration has gotten you a few earfuls here. Oops. ;-) -Magnus

 

[MagnusEunson]

my chatter box has gone a wall. my keyboard has seen its last day at battle. i am limited to on screen key board. pita. if i type it lks lik this. S many kys arnt rking. argh.

mission aborted.

OUCH.. -Magnus

 

[Darkwitless]

LOL - Hey I'm NOT trashing on Clay - I think it takes a lot to recognize where annoying and potentially damaging behavior may come from and to try to work against previous programming. lol I think he did well. He admitted in his 1st post where it comes from for him. I admire him for it.

Pche: most likely you and Clay would never have hit it off to begin with due to personality differences.

I married a man much like my dad. My sister married a guy the complete opposite! We both know it and wonder why. She wonders how I could have - and I wonder the same about her. The things that drive us crazy about our spouses drove us crazy before we married - but somehow we overlooked them. lol Thankfully they aren't "serious" issues - but they certainly weren't surprises either. ;-)

 

[Darkwitless]

Ok - let's lighten things up a bit here before I have to head away from the computer!


for your entertainment.

A couple of weeks ago a Road Construction Traffic sign was hacked down the road that warned of Zombies Ahead

This was today in the Lexington area:
Harry Potter fans hack a road sign in Kentucky

 

[Twiztid]

I married my opposite completely and we get along fine ^^^^ Lol

 

[keyzygirl]

Im so bored.Ive been watching House reruns all afternoon.I wish my head would feel better and the dizziness would just go away!!I need to get out,lol.I want real food,like a bacon burger and sweet potatoe fries.

 

[pchela]

Sorry - didn't mean to give you an earful Clay. Truth is, I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to issues like that because I have been mistreated but in reality, I have no idea what your relationship is like and I know from in here that you are a nice guy. I just want everybody to be happy and I'll just leave it at that.

 

[webbcm127]

Im so bored.Ive been watching House reruns all afternoon.I wish my head would feel better and the dizziness would just go away!!I need to get out,lol.I want real food,like a bacon burger and sweet potatoe fries.

Oh man that sound good!!!-)

 

[oldsoldier]

Im so bored.Ive been watching House reruns all afternoon.I wish my head would feel better and the dizziness would just go away!!I need to get out,lol.I want real food,like a bacon burger and sweet potatoe fries.

that is why I made a run to the library. After awhile i'm going to lock the door and curl up with a good book or 3.

 

[pchela]

Ohh... I've just started A Dance with Dragons and I'm super stoked about that!

 

[keyzygirl]

Well I lucked out!Hubs is taking us all for ice cream after dinner.Im more excited than the kids,LOL!!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

Chiming in a little late but....

You know, if the worst thing about you clay is that you occasionally bring work home, I think she scored. We all have our faults and at least yours were words only and love can wash away alot of stupid words. From the sound of it, it doesn't happen often and if you make it as obvious to her that you feel bad about it as you did here I think it will all be ok. If any kids were around, you might want to explain that one to them though...

Those situations suck, but as noted by many, all we can do is learn from it and try to avoid it happening again.

On a lighter note, OFF WORK AND TIME TO START THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!! *pffffsssshhhhhh* open up that bottle of [insert favorite drink here]!

 

[jordonm41]

I wish this house would clean it's sel f, I just got done doing the fridge and freezer, 2 loads of cloths, took out trash, and have been on phone with friends and family all day. Plus remoded a tank to stop the leaking...thanks for that package Jen the caffinee is working!!!! now for more coffee and to get the rest of the house done before Mr w geets home. I really hate to start one thing as I have about 4 things I have started today waiting on me. I just can't do one thing at a time EVER!!

 

[ClayK]

Pc, I know. I'm a pretty gentle soul and easy going, except under the right circumstances. Those circumstances will never be present at home, unless she starts lobbing grenades and popping 7.62s my way. SWMBO knows I'm a gentle soul, I think she's equally frustrated that she's not a "take charge" kind of person. I'd love her to be that way, but I love her the way she is as well. She knows I do pretty much everything and wants to take some of the burden off of my shoulders, she's just concerned about failing. No matter how much I reassure her that failures happen, they are learning experiences and they aren't permanent, her mother's issues have probably irreparably damaged her.