Chit Chattin away!

[keyzygirl]

Q,if you feel safer being the driver then thats what you should do. I like to be the one keeping an eye on my own kids.I dont trust to many people to care for them or take them anywhere. Go with your gut. Drive them to town and then get a cup of coffee or see a movie and wait for them. Its what I would do.

 

[kelleymcm]

...almost forgot what I came to say earlier ....& this is in reference to the weather ...

thought for the day

​

 

[quittin4mykids]

LOL old soldier- well, I agree with that- but dang ---

Jazz, yeah- I have had the talk with them but, remembering my teenage years, I know they dont work too well-

Kenzy, yep- I am just going to go and mess around town for hours- an dhours.. LOL

The upside is:
they cleaned the yard and porch with only one time being asked,
took out the trash, and cleaned BEHIND the trash can with only one asking,
washed a load of their clothes, and dried them and took them out with OUT me asking, which in the process meant they took out a dry load, and dried a load already int he washer-
and took showers, washed their hair and put on deoderant without me saying anything.

and asked for hair cuts as soon as possible.

and yes, I know I shouldnt judge- but I do pass by this girls house almost daily, and she wears the skimpiest clothes, so yep Jazz, you are right on the mark...

I am not a snob, we are poor country folks, always have been- but dang...

 

[beebopnjazz]

Nope - not "poor" q - broke is without money to spend/ poor is a state of mind.

I taught my children that sex complicates a relationship.... take responsibility for your actions - regardless of which gender. If you believe you're mature enough for a sexual relationship - you're mature enough to take the proper precautions.

I'm glad I'm not in your shoes anymore.

 

[oldsoldier]

I'm not trying to stir the pot, just making a general comment. Having spent a lot of time in Europe I see clearly that Americans as a whole screw up their children with excessive puritanical attitudes. Having the talk and being there for them, educating them and being less judgmental are things we could take as a lesson from the way Europeans view sex and sexuality. We make such a big deal out of it it becomes a bigger deal than it should be... Does that make sense?

 

[beebopnjazz]

Yep, yep it does Sarge. You hold them too tight they rebel - big time.

 

[TravTech]

My favorite analogy is Jello.

The tighter you squeeze, the more it slips through your fingers.

 

[quittin4mykids]

okay-

when I was 32 years old, and got my fiqure back from having my THIRD kid, I went and got my belly button peirced. I have since had another kid and gotten too chubby to wear it.

Found out tonight that the 12 year old got her peirced 6 months ago-

I know many folks will think i was too old to get mine done- but noone other than my husband saw it, except the few times I went to the lake with the sister in laws and the kids- but isnt 12 a little young??

AND- I am all for honesty and truthfullness in sex etc. BUT, I am also old fashioned enough to believe that a girls virginity is her ONE true gift to give away-

PLUS, I dont need the drama that comes with some girl getting a little free with her favors and me having to deal with irate parents. I dont deal with idiots well...

 

[daisyd]

Well, I was that age my first time. I don't think you're being overprotective. I knew all about protection and such, let's just say I got extremely lucky. I'm not far behind you on the teenager train. Lord help us both.

 

[Darkwitless]

12 is too young for a belly piercing in my book. We pierce as an accessory and to show off. Belly piercings are suppose to be sexy - 12 yr olds have no business being THAT sexy!!


That said - I think we do have a double standard on sexuality. It's ok for boys to "take care of things" themselves and we all nod our heads and smirk about it. But goodness forbid a mom get her daughter a "bullet" or "bob" . I have to wonder, if they knew they could take care of their own urges, would they be so jumped up to start having sex?

You also have to wonder (in these girls situations) if they are so starved for love that they are being pushed to grow up faster.

 

[Darkwitless]

I think as all the messages on Tv and movies push sex as a form of recreation and way to scratch an itch. You don't see good examples of waiting for a committed relationship etc (making love) and that it is an adult act with adult responsibilities and (possible) very adult consequences.

I feel for those girls, I really do.

And no, you're not being over protective. BUT if you throw up road blocks, kids look for ways around them. Keep talking to the boys, but maybe if they see the girls with you around it might be a good thing. You'd be able (after the fact) to point out the warning flags in behavior, attitude etc (if there are any)

My favorite line right now is : Hmm, is that something you'd want your WIFE to do? Hmmm, is that how you'd want your wife to act? Is that who you'd want to be the mother of your children? Is that who you'd want to be tied for the rest of your life to? Because if you have a child, you're stuck for life, even if you don't live together.

It's never too soon to get them thinking.

 

[Darkwitless]

My mom and dad use to say (in a nice conversational tone) Don't waste your time dating someone who is not good husband material. Dating is suppose to help us determine what we're looking for in future spouse. When you come across a deal breaker, walk away before you get in too deep.

The young man I dated before DH was my 1st real boy friend in high school whom I dated again in college. I'm so glad I listened to their advice (though they didn't know it at the time) I did care deeply for him, but saw some characteristics that I knew were deal breakers. My final straw was when his mom asked him to go to church with her for her birthday and he refused. I could suddenly see what MY future would be of endless Sundays sitting by myself in church and that wasn't something I wanted to do.

 

[Darkwitless]

Wow - deep stuff for a Friday night (Saturday morning!)

 

[Darkwitless]

I finally understand what you guys have been talking about with burnt taste on a c4/vision. This one is picky. grrrr

 

[quittin4mykids]

dark,
- take the top off, and pull up the cap thingy- sometimes it gets too far down and impedes the juice.

and I agree with everything you say-

I will be honest, I'd rather not ANY sex stuff happen- alone or with someone else. LOL

and daisy- I too was very lucky- and I know what its like to not have a real ..... attentive mom. Or one who would rather be your friend that a parent, and how it screws up what you percieve as love.

BUT, I am of the mind too that dating is basicly an interview- I've never understood working at something that has no future, and a relationship that has no future is not worth it to me. Of course, I have been VERY lucky- I met my husband at 16, married at 18 and we are celebrating 18 years married this year. I was blessed the day he walked into my life and turned it around-

I just really am not comfertable with this 'dating' thing- I admit that- 'going steady' is one thing- meeting at a football game or the movies- then running to your moms car before she 'sees' you holding hands-

These girls had NO qualms who saw them holding hands or hugging... I gotta do a PDA discussion with these heathens. I know they see it alot- Their daddy and I hug and kiss daily, hello, goodbye, just cause we passed each other in the hallway- but nothing you wouldnt have seen on "I love Lucy" -

I just DONT know- I didnt grow up in a healthy (what i consider healthy now) home when I was a preteen and teen- I made ALOT of mistakes and still pay for them deep down- and I am proud of the relationship I do have with my hubby- I just know that we live in a SMALL town, and things are NOT forgotten. I can tell you the scandals from 100 years ago- and I know that some people look at me and my 'betty crocker/june cleaver' life and dont really believe I am the same kid- especially the preppy kids I went to school with. LOL

I think the one thing that sticks with me the most is my grandmother always saying "the only thing you will always have is your reputation- and its the one thing you cant change- each chapter is written in ink- and someone somewhere has read it." I didnt believe her- Now I regret that.

and it bothers me, I think it bothers me the most to see these baby girls with no more respect for themselves or their futures to fall in love weekly, and give so much of themselves, even if its just percieved- and especially that their mothers encourage it or ignore it. and I feel guilty that my boys are facilitating it.

 

[loxmythe]

Good morning everyone

I wasn't going to chime in here because I don't have kids but I'm going to anyway.
It seems to me unless you lock them up in a closet, put a chastity belt on your daughters (I know a good locksmith ) or sprinkle salt Peter in your sons Cheerios you really can't stop them. Answer this - could or did your parents stop any of you? By the time you felt you were ready you probably thought you knew more than they did anyway. It seems to me all you can do is be open and trust their judgement. After all you raised them this far and if you raised them right that WILL come into play. Will it stop them? No. But it will help them to make a responsible decision. I'd buy them condoms and have a serious "I trust you to be responsible for your own actions" talk. If they're going to act like an adult try treating them like an adult. Talk TO them not AT them. Think back to when you were in their place.

 

[Darkwitless]

Lox - very true. In our house it's a discussion - not a lecture. It's too soon to see how it'll all play out. lol But no matter what they do, I'll always love them.

We joked that we're out to change the world, 3 men at a time.

 

[quittin4mykids]

I agree lectures dont work- and I have stressed to mine that they are to be RESPECTFUL-



plus on the bright side, they are cleaning and doing their chores and taking baths without even being reminded more than once. -

its almost scary-

Now, They have not stopped torchering Bertha Sue- SOOOOO- this could work in my favor or against me-
1. She hates ALL boys because and I quote "they are smelly, nasty, rude, condesending, worthless ......"
or
2. She finds one who is nice to her cause he is flirting with her adn all hope is lost.

 

[Darkwitless]

I can finally go to sleep. DS#1 was out at a party and was late getting home. This momma can't sleep until all the chicks are back in the nest. Next year I won't know, so I won't worry (as much!) lol

 

[Prism]

Chillin by the pool