Depressed and disappointed with myself. What's wrong with me?!?

[Analog1990]

I think everyone is/has gone through something similar.... a relapse or near relapse... I found that in my brief few weeks vaping, and not smoking, the near relapses occurred at those moments when I was not fully prepared with the PV. Meaning, battery low, no juice, or I plain didn't have it... Luckily I managed to avoid many occasions where I might have lit up... And Now, I take a few moments each night to FULLY charge 2 batteries, and prep 2 or 3 fresh filled cartos for a work day...

I don't actually go through 3 full cartos in a shift... But I rotate them, so as they taper off I am not inclined light up "instead".... I'm just trying to maintain that "fresh filled flavor" as the thing I enjoy more than analogs.... And more so, its a conscious effort... The same way I would stop to buy cigs and be late for work or whatnot... I remind myself that I need to be prepared at all times..

On that note, surroundings play a huge role.... I find at home, chillin... there is absolutely no problem.... I vape at my PC with a PT, walk around with a battery unit... Juice is on stand-by.... everything is ready to go....

Now, while out & about.... standing among 4 other smokers, its so easy to "join the crowd" I mean that's what got most of us in the smoking mess in the first place.... I try to keep that in mind, as I Vape among smokers... Yes, its not the same... And there's even a weird feeling of being an "outsider" vaping among smokers...

Unlike yourself, I am one of the "older" people in my circle of friends, many of whom are co-workers... and unlike them, I have smoked for over 20 years, and most of them have not, and are not chain smokers like I was...

Honestly, it was not until recently this year when I started hanging out with a friend I knew for over a decade, but rarely saw much of.... He was over-weight, and has been on a very motivational endeavor to loose weight, all through nutrition & diet... (ie, no surgery) I noticed that health and nutrition was a daily topic... And I also recognized that he HAD to make it a daily topic so as not to slip up and go to IN&OUT for a 4x4 animal style after work.... He continually reinforced his own motivational level by talking about it daily...

I have thanked him many times already for motivating and inspiring me to something well for myself.... I think this desire and conscious effort needs to really come from within yourself, as something you really want for yourself.... I know when I was in my 20's it was not the first thing on my mind... So congrats on getting an early start to kick the habit.

I know that many of the stories I read here on ECF have helped alot.... like a support group, where we are all witness each others success and failures.... The fact that you told us all that you have slipped is good if you think about it.... Because you could have just ignored your conscience, and not told a sole.... So that tells me that it *IS* within you to want to quit....

 

[scinsc]

I think everyone is/has gone through something similar.... a relapse or near relapse... I found that in my brief few weeks vaping, and not smoking, the near relapses occurred at those moments when I was not fully prepared with the PV. Meaning, battery low, no juice, or I plain didn't have it... Luckily I managed to avoid many occasions where I might have lit up... And Now, I take a few moments each night to FULLY charge 2 batteries, and prep 2 or 3 fresh filled cartos for a work day...

I don't actually go through 3 full cartos in a shift... But I rotate them, so as they taper off I am not inclined light up "instead".... I'm just trying to maintain that "fresh filled flavor" as the thing I enjoy more than analogs.... And more so, its a conscious effort... The same way I would stop to buy cigs and be late for work or whatnot... I remind myself that I need to be prepared at all times..

On that note, surroundings play a huge role.... I find at home, chillin... there is absolutely no problem.... I vape at my PC with a PT, walk around with a battery unit... Juice is on stand-by.... everything is ready to go....

Now, while out & about.... standing among 4 other smokers, its so easy to "join the crowd" I mean that's what got most of us in the smoking mess in the first place.... I try to keep that in mind, as I Vape among smokers... Yes, its not the same... And there's even a weird feeling of being an "outsider" vaping among smokers...

Unlike yourself, I am one of the "older" people in my circle of friends, many of whom are co-workers... and unlike them, I have smoked for over 20 years, and most of them have not, and are not chain smokers like I was...

Honestly, it was not until recently this year when I started hanging out with a friend I knew for over a decade, but rarely saw much of.... He was over-weight, and has been on a very motivational endeavor to loose weight, all through nutrition & diet... (ie, no surgery) I noticed that health and nutrition was a daily topic... And I also recognized that he HAD to make it a daily topic so as not to slip up and go to IN&OUT for a 4x4 animal style after work.... He continually reinforced his own motivational level by talking about it daily...

I have thanked him many times already for motivating and inspiring me to something well for myself.... I think this desire and conscious effort needs to really come from within yourself, as something you really want for yourself.... I know when I was in my 20's it was not the first thing on my mind... So congrats on getting an early start to kick the habit.

I know that many of the stories I read here on ECF have helped alot.... like a support group, where we are all witness each others success and failures.... The fact that you told us all that you have slipped is good if you think about it.... Because you could have just ignored your conscience, and not told a sole.... So that tells me that it *IS* within you to want to quit....

This is a great testimonial, congratulations and thank you. Being prepared is a major key to success for all Vapers. I am also glad to see that you feel like an outsider among smokers because the truth is you are not “another smoker”. Too often we are burdened with the stigma of being smokers and that is a killer for us with public perception. In the beginning the word “electronic cigarette” was a good marketing tool but very shortsighted. It is now the thousand pound gorilla we have to drag around behind us because of the word cigarette. I try my best to never use the words smoke and ecigarette because the truth is that we use a PV and we do not smoke, we vape.

 

[Amy41996]

Had to chime in
going thru intense urges and came searching on ECF cause i am going freakn nuts!!! i use to smoke 3 packs a day for 30 yrs....started to vape on dec 3 2010 and quit dec 26...woohoo was doing great til my 3 month mark (i am now 4 1/2 months quit)
my longest quit was for 16 hours before this. i slipped one day and had some cigs, was nasty but felt relief,,uuuuggggg!!!
I saw your post title and read your post and glad i did.
I hear your struggle and just wanted to let you know u are not a lone
I dont know why i am urging sooooooo bad. i brought up my nic and everything and its still bad.
my hubby quit 6 yrs ago and is proud of me and when i start urging well, i get the guilt trip .... i asked him how long did it take you to be ok to be smoke free he said 2 weeks .... i only wish
I dont understand that i was ok for 3 whole months then booooom, the urges started and everyday they get worse. i am trying!!!!!
maybe i quit too soon, i dont know
i am sorry if it feels i am hijacking your thread,,,,,,but i hear ya when u are really needing encouragment
i feel like maybe i should smoke and vape for a time. but then i get freaked that i will be right back at 3 packs a day and a vaping habit to boot.
sorry rambling
I hope all is doing well for you.
It helped me to read this thread and thanks sooo much for starting it
Amy

 

[sherid]

Had to chime in
going thru intense urges and came searching on ECF cause i am going freakn nuts!!! i use to smoke 3 packs a day for 30 yrs....started to vape on dec 3 2010 and quit dec 26...woohoo was doing great til my 3 month mark (i am now 4 1/2 months quit)
my longest quit was for 16 hours before this. i slipped one day and had some cigs, was nasty but felt relief,,uuuuggggg!!!
I saw your post title and read your post and glad i did.
I hear your struggle and just wanted to let you know u are not a lone
I dont know why i am urging sooooooo bad. i brought up my nic and everything and its still bad.
my hubby quit 6 yrs ago and is proud of me and when i start urging well, i get the guilt trip .... i asked him how long did it take you to be ok to be smoke free he said 2 weeks .... i only wish
I dont understand that i was ok for 3 whole months then booooom, the urges started and everyday they get worse. i am trying!!!!!
maybe i quit too soon, i dont know
i am sorry if it feels i am hijacking your thread,,,,,,but i hear ya when u are really needing encouragment
i feel like maybe i should smoke and vape for a time. but then i get freaked that i will be right back at 3 packs a day and a vaping habit to boot.
sorry rambling
I hope all is doing well for you.
It helped me to read this thread and thanks sooo much for starting it
Amy

Sometimes, it is simply the psychological panic that comes from giving up something that is/was very important to your existence that causes the urges. Many will disagree with my approach to vaping, but I can tell you what works for me. I did not get into vaping to stop smoking. I did so because I abhor anti-smoker laws. I found that if I allow myself that very important first cigarette a day then I have little need for any others throughout the day. If I were to deny myself that one cigarette, then I don't believe that I would be able to succeed with vaping. The denial would make me want to smoke more. I have used this approach for three years now, and I went from a 42 year pack a day to one cigarette a day habit. I approached it by only having the cigarettes I actually wanted rather than those I smoked simply out of habit. That started with smoking about 5 a day to a gradual cut to 1 per day. I was in no hurry to get there since I was pleased with my progress from the beginning. Not guilting yourself for smoking is very important to succeeding as a vaper IMO.

 

[Amy41996]

Sometimes, it is simply the psychological panic that comes from giving up something that is/was very important to your existence that causes the urges. Many will disagree with my approach to vaping, but I can tell you what works for me. I did not get into vaping to stop smoking. I did so because I abhor anti-smoker laws. I found that if I allow myself that very important first cigarette a day then I have little need for any others throughout the day. If I were to deny myself that one cigarette, then I don't believe that I would be able to succeed with vaping. The denial would make me want to smoke more. I have used this approach for three years now, and I went from a 42 year pack a day to one cigarette a day habit. I approached it by only having the cigarettes I actually wanted rather than those I smoked simply out of habit. That started with smoking about 5 a day to a gradual cut to 1 per day. I was in no hurry to get there since I was pleased with my progress from the beginning. Not guilting yourself for smoking is very important to succeeding as a vaper IMO.

thanks!!!!! thats very helpfull...it is the guilt isnt it. and I guess i will just decide how to handle it..maybe just put a stopper on smoking if i go past a certain amount if i decide to try to smoke again with the vaping.
I ask myself, do i have better quality of life..my answer is NO.
So, to me, there is something wrong with that.
I am gonna juggle that
I am glad you brought up the points you did
Amy

 

[sherid]

thanks!!!!! thats very helpfull...it is the guilt isnt it. and I guess i will just decide how to handle it..maybe just put a stopper on smoking if i go past a certain amount if i decide to try to smoke again with the vaping.
I ask myself, do i have better quality of life..my answer is NO.
So, to me, there is something wrong with that.
I am gonna juggle that
I am glad you brought up the points you did
Amy

I started with no restrictions on myself about how much I would smoke. I simply found that I liked vaping more often than I liked smoking, so the progression away from cigs was just natural. The one exception is that first cig with coffee in the morning which I hope I never have to give up. I can see absolutely no reason to do that If I have a day where I want more than that one, I simply have more, but in three years the most I have ever had was 7-8. I do this with absolutely no guilt. The e cig community should not be a smoking abstinence group. It should be a smoking alternative group, cause in the end, that is exactly what it is....a different brand of smokes that many choose over Marlboros.

 

[mattoci667]

So, it has been almost a full year since my first attempt at quitting with electronic cigarettes. I've been on and off several times; sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks, but I keep going back. June 1st of 2010 was my original "quit" date and as we can all see, that was an epic fail, lol. With that said, I'm still wanting to quit so I figured I'll give it another shot on June 1st. This time, I'm going to make sure I have more variety in my liquids and etc so that I can give this chance everything I've got. If I slip up again, fine, but I want to continue trying until I'm over cigarettes. I just got done smoking, actually, and it was awful, so I actually can't wait until June 1st! My question is, even though taste is different from person to person, does anyone have any suggestions on who the BEST liquid provider is as far as quality and flavor all around? I've read a lot about Backwoods Brew, mister-e-liquid.com, along with gourmetvapor.com. I've heard a good bit about Totally Wicked as well, but they seem a bit pricey. I've already tried vapor4life.com MANY times and I'm just not really satisfied with their juice or service. I really think gourmetvapor.com has the biggest selection of flavors I've ever seen, but I've not seen a lot of reviews regarding those flavors. I like mister-e-liquid.com's approach to their liquid, but again, I haven't heard much. I've heard GREAT reviews for Backwoods Brew, and I've heard terrible reviews. I've ordered from Madvapes.com several times and I've been extremely happy with their service. Anyway...basically, I want to order as much juice as possible from different sites so that if I get bored with a flavor or even a type of flavor (tobacco or fruit), I can switch it up. Also, any suggestions on the best performance when it comes to cartomizers? I have an Ego battery and as of now, I've been using these cartomizers I purchased at the local mall that I'm not really happy with. I don't know what they're called, as they don't seem to have a brand name, but they're not great. I've heard not to go below 2.0ohm on carts or atties for the Ego so I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to give this the best shot I can, again, and hope for a better outcome. Thanks for all of the posts and replies, along with personal messages so far to this thread, I truly appreciate it! If you have anything to say about the vendors I mentioned, please do so, whether good or bad news, and if you have any suggestions, go for it!

As far as flavors go, I know taste is subjective, but to give you an idea of what I'm looking for...I ordered DK-TAB from madvapes.com and I love it, but their 3&5 tasted a bit chemical-ish the last time I ordered, for some reason. Normally, it's an earthy, almondy taste so the chemical flavor threw me off. I didn't like any of the US liquids at all...nada...zip...nothing. Their blueberry tasted like a Dum Dum sucker instead of the more natural blueberry taste I'm used to from Dekang (bought it at the mall but it's WAY too expensive.) I like both fruit and tobacco flavors. Not a menthol fan, but occasionally I'll puff on it for change (very rarely). I would really like to find a juice that lingers for a while...my biggest complaint with E-cigs is that, unlike a cigarette, the flavor is gone as soon as you exhale. It may taste delicious as you're puffing on it, but as soon as you exhale, the taste is gone, and I'm not sure if there's a juice that has a longer lasting flavor or if it's just a normal thing, but if you do know of longer lasting flavors, definitely let me know! Thanks everyone!

 

[skydragon]

I would without a doubt say Backwoods Brew. Unfortunately he is on vacation right now but I would definitely go with him. I have another question for you. What are you using for equipment? For me (which does not mean it will be for you) the only thing that got me to about two cigs and I think I could have quit if I didn't have to sell it.............is a VV. At the very least a true 3.7 volt device. Or if you can handle 5 volts I think they are less expensive than a VV. Could be wrong as I learned 5 is too high for me so I haven't looked much. Again, that may not be a factor with you but something to think about.

Here is a link that might also help a little.
http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...-lip-your-nose-right-now-569.html#post3136563

Good luck and don't kick yourself too hard. I have been trying for about a year and a half.

 

[juicejunky]

...my biggest complaint with E-cigs is that, unlike a cigarette, the flavor is gone as soon as you exhale. It may taste delicious as you're puffing on it, but as soon as you exhale, the taste is gone, and I'm not sure if there's a juice that has a longer lasting flavor or if it's just a normal thing, but if you do know of longer lasting flavors, definitely let me know! Thanks everyone!

One of my pet peeves with certain juices too, especially if the lasting taste is chemical or soap-like. When Don from BackwoodsBrew gets back on June 3, try Casablanca. It gets better a week later, but I loved it from the beginning and even more as it aged. It is a Turkish tobacco with cocoa undertones and it truly taste that way to me. It tastes different on the inhale than the exhale and very complex, but the very best part is it leaves a fantastic tobacco aftertaste in your mouth. Very satisfying...Casablanca makes me happier than any other juice I have tried.

Everyone picks up different chemicals and flavoring in juices, but BWB is the only vendor where I've never got even a hint of chemical or soap in any of the flavors. The flavors are not overdone and to my tastebuds just right. Some people require a ton of flavor to taste, so they wouldn't appreciate BWB. They are very clean tasting and don't mess up attys. They don't all have an aftertaste, but the Casablanca sure does it for me. He has a very varied collection of flavors that I can easily rotate among my favorites and keep vaping interesting.

 

[Mayasveil]

MyFreedomSmokes is an option you may want to look at. Flavors are consistent, Chris' service is wonderful, and right now they are having a 20 percent off sale. code, "freedom20" with out the quotes. I like the Dunhill, Flue, Camel and Lemonade. Chris also freebases his own nicotine. As a side note, this company is one of the "originals". Good luck and let us know which supplier you chose, what you think of their flavors and how it is all working out for you.

 

[Boodle]

Hey Matt,

What great advice in this thread I hope you'll resist being too hard on yourself. When I tried to quit cold turkey I lived on a site called whyquit .com and learned so much from caring people. Joel, the site owner, charges nothing and has 25 years or so of experience. Cold turkey was too brutal for me. I lasted 4 months but was a basket case and went back to cigarettes. Ecigs transformed my life. Maybe take a peek at that site and the 10's of thousands of people that post there. I felt like I was in a group that truly *got* me. It's not an egic forum but Joel's library and the boards I found invaluable. Good luck to you and be well.

 

[BigToots]

Hang in there. You are not alone. I was a 1-2 pack a day smoker for 20 years. I tried switching to vaping a year and a half ago or so with a dse901. I was unable to stop smoking after a couple of weeks of trying. More recently I bought an icon from puresmoker after a buddy of mine ( also a heavy smoker ) quit smoking analogs within 3 days of getting his.The day i got my icon in the mail I was down to 3-5 sigs a day for about a week. I felt I was on the right track. But then I noticed my analog count was slowly working it's way back up to a half a pack per day instead of zero. I really want to quit so when I ran out of analogs a couple of days ago I did not buy anymore. The first morning without an anolog was tough. Yesterday was better. This morning was almost easy. It is hard as I still find myself reaching for a pack of analogs that isn't there sometimes. When I get bad cravings for an analog i just park myself at the comp and vape away on my 5v passthrough until it subsides.

Just a note: I am finding 5v to satisfy much more than 3.7v . The experience feels more like smoking, and the higher voltage smooths out many of my juices, making them less sweet and more like an analog. Every single one of my tobacco juices tastes better at 5v.

Quitting smoking is a tougher battle for some than it is others. The key is to win your battle, not wonder why the battles of others seem to be easier. You can do it.

 

[Bwig]

Thanks for the replies! Only problem is I already use 24mg lol. I had some 36mg but it was so strong I couldn't even taste it, just felt the hit with no flavor, although I did like the hit. The hit of 24mg is good and strong but somehow I'm still not satisfied. I don't know whats up with me! Thanks for the encouragement!

I was pretty much just as you are, I hated the thought of dipping but some friends on here suggested trying camel snus when I had those cravings and wow it works. The taste is great as well, and you can getem in different flavors. Try that just don't give up.

 

[Vocalek]

Star Scientific makes two products that are called "orbs". Ariva has less nicotine in it...a little over 1 mg. Stonewall is larger and contains about 4 mg. nicotine. Each contains powdered tobacco plus flavorings and binders, compressed into a dissolvable lozenge. You use them the same way you would use a Commit (now called Nicorette) lozenge: Place between your cheek and gums and allow to dissolve. They take a while to dissolve, so if you pop one in your mouth when you get the urge to light up, by the time it is dissolved the urge will be gone.

I mail-ordered the Java and Mint flavors of Stonewall and paid $3.65 each, free shipping. There are 20 orbs per box. Compare to $54.00 for 81 Nicorette mini-lozenges.

Camel is also coming out with a similar product, as well as strips and sticks. The strip is a thin piece of very tightly compressed powdered tobacco that you place on your tongue and allow to melt. It melts quickly. The sticks consist of the same stuff formed into the shape of a toothpick. You can break off pieces or stick the whole thing into the corner of your mouth, just like folks who walk around chewing on toothpics. The Camel products are not available widely yet. They are being test-marketed in a couple of states right now. You can find out where they are being sold on the Camel Dissolvables web site. Currently, they are selling boxes of 15 products for $2.60 or so.

If you are interested, I gave a presentation on Dissolvables to the FDA's Tobacco Produduct Scientific Advisory Committee on Friday. A copy is posted here: http://www.casaa.org/files/CASAA_Dissolvables_110722.pdf