I made it! My bonus daughter got me the car and was here in time to get there on time. I hate being late. Therapist says I need to quit beating myself up LOL Ya think?
Depression
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That's called "stating the obvious", Nyxie. Did he mention any specific ways to do that, or did he just make that moronic statement. Don't mention any specifics, I was just wondering if he had gone into detail.
Uh oh rant coming on LOL
Yes she did sort of . I called myself a spoiled brat because I get what I want (generally speaking) although the therapist reminded me that I torture myself over anything I try to get or when I do get what I want, I settle for what I got and never really get what I wanted. Everything is just enough, never more and sometimes less. Therefore, according to her I am not spoiled in the way that she thinks of people being spoiled.
My issues are with my Mom now mostly. She gives and gives even when you don't want her to , she is co dependent and so am I and so is my husband LOL. We are a bunch of needy but ...... off people because we help people even when they don't need or want our help LOL. Anyway my Mom feels that she has the right to have no boundaries with me because she "helps" me.. I work for her doing freelance things but there is no time limit for her to barge over here and say she needs this or that and wants it now because all I am doing is sitting here doing nothing. Nothing to her means not doing something for her. So I got my house with her help when I was single and bankrupt and feel I am indebted to her "forever" even though I am paying her for the house as I would a bank. I beat myself up over guilt while she drives me insane. The Mother /Daughter and Boss / employee line is extremely blurred around here . I used her credit card to buy a new washer dryer , it wasn't what I wanted but what I felt I could pay back and is better then I would have gotten without her credit card. I felt spoiled because I used her credit getting what I want again. but I really didn't I just opened myself up for more guilt again. Ugh the learning process is driving me even more mad LOL. So basically the counselor sees that I am not sure how much I am willing to deal with because "she is Mom" so I have to decide what boundaries I need to keep and stick to them. Easier said then done around here. Therapist says I need boundaries but I don't know I need them until I need them and generally then I am ready to implode.
Some days I think she is the only one who really appreciates me around here. I think because she doesn't have to live with her Mom. I am more like her friendly Mom who she can tell things to and not get yelled at .
The rant was fine, Nyxie, it's good to let it out. I'm glad that she went into detail with you, now you have something to think about and what's the best way to do it.
Yes that is the problem we have been going over this for a few weeks now and I just can't bring myself to bound my Mother LOL.
Ok I meant make a boundary , I read that again and it just sounds very wrong LOL.
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Some days I wish the therapist would go hang with her for a few weeks to see what I mean
I ran - twice, once from my parents when I was 18 - it was good for me to be away from them. 2nd time was from my angry husband, very good thing! Running from my parents only ended up delaying the inevitable - I had to deal with them eventually, which I'm doing now, but I think I needed age and perspective in the intervening years. Overall, running has both worked and not worked for me. My issues definitely follow me, but the forced changes that come from running have also helped me confront some of my issues. IDK it may work for some and not others...
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In Colorado I lived on a street that dead ended in a creek and bike trail. We could bike / walk to 2 parks and a DQ in about 5 minutes, it was wonderful! My neighbors were great and we were all friends; BBQ's in the back yard and slow summer nights on the front porch. I had my built in support system in my neighborhood - I really miss it all the time. I had to move to CT because I was broke - being evicted, so reality set in and now I live in an apt in my parents 2nd house (They are in FL most of the year, thankfully). I try to like CT (NYC tri-state area), but the people here are pretty wrapped up in things that are mostly meaningless to me, so I feel we have no commonality.
Oh well, I have one really GREAT friend here, but she's in the Bronx, so getting together is complicated. I don't have a good support system here, but I do earn enough money to support myself and the kiddies pretty well, so there were some important trade-offs. I'm sucking it up and trying to make the best of it.
I grew up in the boonies (I am an only child and it was lonely) and now I love living right smack in the middle of things. I prefer small cities (100k - 200k) to big ones.
IDK - binding sounds pretty rational to me
I wish I could Bind my mother's mouth! She's got some nerve that woman... She not as bad as my dad though, that man's a peice of work! You think someone would have told him 'IF you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. I don't think I've ever heard an nice thing come from his mouth. Everyone's stupid or an idiot, including my son, which is why I am not speaking to the man until he can hold his tongue around my children!
BTW - the new meds put me to sleep early, but then I woke up at 2am. I read for awhile, hoping it would put me back to sleep, but i finished the book and I'm still awake! Oh well, guess I'll give it a few more nights to see if it works better and then contact the Dr again if it doesn't. I just want to get a normal nights rest! Maybe it would be better to be depressed, but well rested 
! I'm tired of being tired, ugh.
! I'm tired of being tired, ugh.
BTW - the new meds put me to sleep early, but then I woke up at 2am. I read for awhile, hoping it would put me back to sleep, but i finished the book and I'm still awake! Oh well, guess I'll give it a few more nights to see if it works better and then contact the Dr again if it doesn't. I just want to get a normal nights rest! Maybe it would be better to be depressed, but well rested
Do you mind sharing what meds you are on for sleeping? My Dr put my on Neurontin (sp) that pretty much knocks me out all night along with the 1mg of Atavan I take.
I finally moved 3 hours from my mom. She offered to give me 5 acres of her property so I could be close. NOOOOOOOOOO.
So now she can't just drop by...OK she did once, but I didn't answer the door, or phone till she left. I told her to call first.
I have no clue how I managed to do that. but my mom always wants to go shopping, I don't go random shopping. I make a list, get what I need, and go home. She will wander for hours, look at stuff, put it in the cart, wander some more, put it back, wander some more, go get it again......forever. Plus if you even look at something she feels the need to buy it for you, and then go tell everyone that she had to buy you whatever it was, because you needed it.
My hubby has told me I will never get my son if I leave. But he thinks I should be able to wake up and just make up my mind to have a good day, and it will be OK. I must be good at hiding things, because I've been like this for a while now. Just too hard to hide now.
My ex tried to pull that too. I consulted a lawyer at the United Way in CO when I knew I wanted out and the lawyer recommended I keep a journal of the facts of our day-to-day married life, not opinions, just the facts of what happens during the day / night with a timeline. I did that and when we were divorcing it was brought into evidence and it worked well to prevent the divorce from even going to court. My ex's lawyer recommended that he settle and he did. I didn't have a lot of money at the time, I think all in all the divorce only cost me about $2,000.00 for my laywer; he wasn't even that great.
After we were divorced he tried to get the kids again and succeeded for about 2 weeks. He was trying to declare me unfit. Well, I don't know what happened, but before the trial he brought the boys back and said he couldn't deal. I guess working and paying for child care and taking care of the 2 boys by himself was more than he bargained for so he brought them back and dropped the case. Later he brought DCFS back around the house, I guess just to harrass me, but they cleared everything and that was that.
My ex doesn't pay his child support now, but I don't care, i'm just glad I don't have to deal with him anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you should investigate your options, you may have more than you think. But, one step at a time, first go to the Dr. and get yourself feeling better and stronger. Then you can think about your options.
Thanks Atlas. I think he's scared. His sister had depression problems, and committed suicide. his mom has been all but disowned by us because of her ongoing addiction. He's scared he will lose us too, but he said he'll go to marriage counseling with me, so we'll see. Not holding my breath though.
That's great that he'll go to marriage counseling. I hope it helps! Mine went, but would not participate, so that wasn't much help... He had been sick (hodgekin's disease) so he was pretty angry and in denial. He wouldn't go to counseling for his illness either, I guess he saw it as a weakness. Oh well, he's someone else's problem now! (I know that not too nice of me, but when it comes to him I can't afford to be nice. It's bad enough he's back in our life after 5 years of blessed silence)
BTW - Your appt is today isn't it? Let us know how it goes!
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Good luck with everything JJ, I will keep you in my prayers. Sometimes it seems like no matter how well we are doing someone wants to come along and knock us back down. Keep you're chin up and we'll be here to listen
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