So, a a couple of weeks short of my 3 month analog free anniversary, I see two young ladies leaving my next door neighbor's house. The fact that they were very good looking is I suppose besides the point, but somehow seems worth mentioning for embellishment.
Shortly thereafter, I take the dog for a walk. There it was... a 3/4 full fresh pack of Marlboro's laying on the street where they had parked their vehicle. Oh... how the temptation came over me. I was a 3 PAD. I had quit analogs overnight with my V4L starter kit. I know I am the type that could go back all too easilly. No "test" analogs for this ex-smoker, I know better than that.
I looked at the pack. The dog pulled, as though warning me, yet I could not move, I was fixated on the object of my hatred. Although my urges are far less frequent, and very managable, I can still get them. Here was my chance. It would be oh so easy... a free pack of butts. Who would know? I shivered, and walked away, afraid to even touch them.
The next morning, there they were, still pristine, still inviting, still seductive. My mouth actually watered. I rushed past the pack. Why didn't I just step on them? I dare not touch them! The next day, incredibly, there laid the pack, still dry, still there.
Thankfully, by the next day, they were gone. I once posted here a thread about MY particular addiction, knowing that I am NOT the type to can dip my toe in that water, yet, there I was, on the verge. In retrospect, it was a wierd way to handle the temptation I think. I could have just stomped on the pack, but could not. I even hoped they would be there the next day.
I don't know the point of this thread, other than to just perhaps share this experience with others. It really did test me. Maybe I really am off the analogs forever. If I never take another puff, I can never return to smoking. That is my battle cry. I won this battle, and I found it to be bigger than I thought it would be.
People have seen me vaping outside of my workplace, and I've handed out at least 4 V4L cards. I've told them how I went form 2 1/2-3 PAD to zero overnight, and I think some of them will take the challenge. It is a battle worth fighting.
Ever passed a test like this one? It was perhaps my toughest yet. Keep vaping, and live.
Shortly thereafter, I take the dog for a walk. There it was... a 3/4 full fresh pack of Marlboro's laying on the street where they had parked their vehicle. Oh... how the temptation came over me. I was a 3 PAD. I had quit analogs overnight with my V4L starter kit. I know I am the type that could go back all too easilly. No "test" analogs for this ex-smoker, I know better than that.
I looked at the pack. The dog pulled, as though warning me, yet I could not move, I was fixated on the object of my hatred. Although my urges are far less frequent, and very managable, I can still get them. Here was my chance. It would be oh so easy... a free pack of butts. Who would know? I shivered, and walked away, afraid to even touch them.
The next morning, there they were, still pristine, still inviting, still seductive. My mouth actually watered. I rushed past the pack. Why didn't I just step on them? I dare not touch them! The next day, incredibly, there laid the pack, still dry, still there.
Thankfully, by the next day, they were gone. I once posted here a thread about MY particular addiction, knowing that I am NOT the type to can dip my toe in that water, yet, there I was, on the verge. In retrospect, it was a wierd way to handle the temptation I think. I could have just stomped on the pack, but could not. I even hoped they would be there the next day.
I don't know the point of this thread, other than to just perhaps share this experience with others. It really did test me. Maybe I really am off the analogs forever. If I never take another puff, I can never return to smoking. That is my battle cry. I won this battle, and I found it to be bigger than I thought it would be.
People have seen me vaping outside of my workplace, and I've handed out at least 4 V4L cards. I've told them how I went form 2 1/2-3 PAD to zero overnight, and I think some of them will take the challenge. It is a battle worth fighting.
Ever passed a test like this one? It was perhaps my toughest yet. Keep vaping, and live.
