So all week, I had only 1 or 2 real cigs each day. Most days just 1, sometimes, even just 1/2. And yesterday, I went the whole entire day without a cig. I was really proud of myself. But today I was dying for one, so I lit up this morning. Something keeps me going back, man. I'm telling you - there's something else addictive in those cigs that has me hooked, not just the nicotine.
Vaping has been a strange experience, and I really still don't know if it's gonna work for me. So many problems with the equipment - 1 vivi fell apart, my Stardust clearomizer won't work, my attys are not working well anymore (6 of them), my first ego-c twist won't take a charge anymore and I had to send it back. Also, it takes so much time getting everything setup, and I've spent a lot of cash already. But more importantly, I'm still not experiencing the joys of quitting smoking. My sense of smell and taste have not gotten any better. I still crave real cigarettes. My lungs still hurt almost everyday from chain vaping. And if I don't chain vape, I get serious cigarette cravings. And since I'm vaping so much, I think I'm getting MORE nicotine than I did before. It feels that way, anyway. Might be one of the reasons I can't sleep at night lately. I feel like I'm going 100 mph every minute of every day. That's the opposite of real smokes - they used to calm me down. I'm feeling high anxiety all the time now since vaping. My wife also commented to me a similar thing. Initially, she seemed really happy that she stopped smoking real cigs (although I found out she's actually been having about 1/2 of one each day in the morning before I wake up.) Anyway, her battery died at work the other day, and the spare was at home, so for about 3 hours she had to go without vaping. She told me her desire to smoke was very high, and if she had a cigarettes she would have smoked them. She was disappointed because she thought her cravings for cigarettes had all but disappeared, only to find out she wanted one just as bad as ever.
So I'm not sure if we just need to give it more time, change some things, or whatnot. Any thoughts?
I've been going through very similar situation as you.
First the tough love:
Stop going on about equipment failing: Real cigarettes you would have a dud lighter and go ape mad looking for one; couple rain drops and that thing was done; ran out of them daily, or more than daily, and had no problem comming up with a fresh pack, no problem packing them and unwrapping them, no problem disposing of the plastic and tinfoil bit, no problem rummaging for a lighter and then finally getting your toke on. I spend about ten minutes a day maintaining e-cigs, i have plenty of spares (heck they are cheap ya know). Ok so i guess that's my pet peave about e-cigs.... don't confuse side effects of quitting smoking with vaping. I am sorry about the tough love.
But it will continue now.. I have broken clearomizers, i have destroyed cartos, i have vaped dry wicks, dry dry dry, i have run out of juice, i have run out of time, i have run out of patience, i have run out of cigaretes hundreds of times in 25 years, i have left equipment at home and had to buy disposables, i have bought kits that sucked, i have bought cigarettes i knew i didn't like because the store didn't have any of mine left, i have searched the house for that old junky kit i bought at the corner store and vaped it's horrible noxious nasty juice to get me by, i have run batteries dead i have been trapped in rooms i can't vape in, i live in a state/country/world that hates smokers and won't let them smoke hardly any where, i have fallen out of a boat twenty miles from shore in the ocean with my cigarettes now sopping wet in my pocket --- dried them out in the sun and smoked the putrid mess unfiltered, i have vaped with no tip and no top cap on my mini nova.... because that is what i had to do. Ok, now it's really done. I have been embarassed of vaping, i have been emberassed and harrassed because of smoking. Done.
I too have had a horrible time getting completely clean of stinkies. Longest i have gone in the 1.5 months since i started vaping by accident, then quitting by accident; has been two weeks, twice. Then i would hit some brick wall and break down and have a smoke. Seems to me there -then becomes a decision: man up and grit your teeth and just don't smoke, simple. Or chicken out like me and have a smoke, get over it, and move on. Every day i think about having a smoke, at least twice a day. But for whatever reason, i can usually muster up the courage to wait an hour or three and then re-consider my options... usually i no longer want a smoke, just a vape. Sometimes i still really want a smoke, and if the craving returns i smoke. Big deal.
Every time i have a smoke i feel a wide array of emotions: disgust, bad breath (not an emotion i know), sadness, loser, weak, sap, chump, sucker, failure.... king of the expletive world because i just went x amount of time without a expletive cigarette, and guess what, i'm proud of that!
The problem: Every time i smoke i go through the whole quitting thing again. Psychologically, physically.
The addiction:
1. Nicotine. very real, very tough.
2. Physical. Hand to mouth, short walk to get to a smoking spot, everything about it, the habit is this addiction.
3. Mental. The ups and downs of quitting. (really are they that different from the ups and downs of smoking?).
4. The other garbage in cigarettes. This. Correction... THIS is my issue. So i will elaborate a bit. Smoked for 25 years, smoked heavy for 20 of them, smoked exceedingly riculously for ten of them, smoked a dead man's curse for three of them. I inhaled so many chemicals over the years that there is absolutely no friggin way in heck that i only got addicted to one of them, nicotine... that's for teenagers... My wishfully long lost friend Mr. Marlboro put so much garbage in my Lights that it is astonishing i could walk to the gas station to get a pack without my lungs spurting black gooieee tar based blood on the sidewalk. For whatever reason, I, me, can go about a day without these 'other chemicals' and barely notice, i can go two days and be okay with it, I can go a week and deal with it, I ME, cannot get past two weeks without them. This is probably because i'm not strong willed enough for this addiction (heck i can't go a few hours without nicotine, so a few days....), this part of it is tough for Me. I'm not a chemist, and don't want to be. But i do know that there is junk in stinkies other than nicotine that I 'need'. I had similar issues with nicorette, patches... all the nicotine replacement therapies.... it wasn't just nicotine i need, crave, want, love, hate, chase, dream of, die for. WTA? is that what i need? don't know yet, it is on order. Having a smoke every two weeks.... no longer an option for me... i'm over them... how, why? Snus, i tried some yesterday. That nasty little pouch perked my lilly color .... right up. Is 'snus-ing' == 'quitting'? Don't know don't care, it's not a cigarette... one thing at a time. Is it healthy? I suppose it is debatable, but from what i have found.... it's better health than smoking, and doesn't continue the habit of smoking as much. Me, i'm not going to smoke any more stinkies. If i have to buy a plane ticket and fly to an airport that has a smoking lounge, and stand in there for a day to collect second hand smoke... i will do it, but i'm not smoking another cigarette. This has to be my mentality going forward. No stinkies. If i have to shove a pouch of carefully scrubbed salty sweet nasty tobacco in my lip.... then i will do that. (I'm not saying you should start on Snus, i'm just saying its an option, a consideration... actually i suggest that you don't if at all possible... i'm just saying that i am) If i have to order WTA juice, cross my fingers it will work for me, that is okay with me. If i have to rescue a dog so i can yell at something when i want to yell, and hug something when i want to hug, and play catch with something when i want to play catch, and go for a walk with something when i want to go for a walk (sounded funny typing that, but i'm actually looking into rescuing a dog for those reasons, and to help out an animal of course.) (plus, hey, hey you, i can walk now, i can walk briskly, i can do lots of things now that i am barely smoking at all), then i will in fact, do those things. What is your mentality going to be?
If e-cigs aren't doing it for you, then I say there has to be something beyond nicotine that you need (or just be patient and hope for the best or whatever). Something beyond the habit, and beyond the mental and physical barriers. The e-cig is astonishingly good at all of these.
Then again... everything i just said could be total rubbish..
Could be that you and I (this whole post is really about me btw, feel free to substitute me/i/we for you anywhere in this post), we may just need to man up, grit our teeth, deal with the cravings, and see if they disappear. It's a free world, choose. Red or blue pill?
Oh and let's drink more water too.
Oh and the other option: chill out dude, you're doing great!
Reality: You have succeeded in cutting way down on cigarettes, i am proud of you, and i wish you the best of luck, and the yummiest and biggest vapor cloud [or small cloud if being discrete]. Congratulations!
