Make me laugh....get a FREE SmokeStik disposable

[spazatabc]

Here is something that was sent to me that I found funny


REDNECK LENT

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and
cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic...and
since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.


The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their
priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a
Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended
Mass. ..and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You
were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."


Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until the first Friday night
arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the
neighborhood. The neighbors called the Priest immediately, and, as he
rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him,
he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he
carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:


"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

 

[lorikay13]

Seriously! What is with these lazy cashiers. If they took the 29 cents and handed out a dollar instead of change then the drawer count would be dead on at the end of shift anyway!

I believe it may have something to do with the fact that we/society no longer teach our children how to THINK. And why should we? We have de-evolved to the point of mass slavery to our technology. Whole flocks of fledgling humans can be seen spending all the time they used to use doing chores staring slack jawed at a glowing device the size of a square of tissue paper quite literally.....twiddling their thumbs.


carry on.

 

[lorikay13]

Ok, this is long, so I'll just post the link.

Dogs In Elk

(LK you may have seen it before)

Actually no I hadn't seen it. But I CAN attest to the validity of several points in the story.....there really is such a thing as a New Guinea Singing Dog.....who btw.....vocalize in harmony...the only animal other than humans to do so. The look like this....in fact....this is Gus Pong....said dog in elk...hehe

I have actually seen these dogs and narrowly escaped getting kicked out of the zoo for trying to pet them...hahahaha. Yes...they are a true wild dog....image my surprise when they walked right up to the fence waging their tails and doing the entire....."don't kill me because I'm so cute and usefull to you and your clan" routine. I later grabbed one of the kids (early 30s...LOL) working and asked...hey kid...tell me the truth....as soon as the zoo closes...your in there arn't you? Sheepish grin....ok...yea....we are. LOL!!!!!

I can also attest to the fact that while there may not be a medical condition entitled "too much elk meat"....there is in fact such a thing. I know this because year before last my neighbor asked...."hey...do you give your dog bones?" I said....sure...as long as they are raw and uncooked. He says..."ok....I'm butchering an elk today....I'll throw a bone over the fence for them" I figured np...keep them busy for a little while anyway. After a protracted period of uncharicteristic silence I thought....I better go make sure they havn't choked on a bone fragment or something. Imagine my surprise upon looking out the back door to see the entire hindquarter of a full grown bull elk laying in my yard.....my two idiot collies attached to it in what can only be described as a psuedo-sexual state of ecstasy.

Oh yes.....a 3 cycle bath and cream rinse. A call to the vet. And then a visit to the vet to have them de-wormed on a massive scale. And some sage advice from the vet. "Next time look before you say yes" To which I of course replied..." I KNOW! I'm not stupid"


oh yes...one more little point about dogs and raw meat.....elk bones stink to high heaven to begin with....something else I found out when I hacked up the hindquarter and brought it in the house to make bone broth out of . (hey...why be wasteful..dog slime washes off) I make bone broth all the time....out of domestic cows and chickens...but never an elk. When I called a friend and told her what I was doing she gasped increduously and said....."IN THE HOUSE!?!?!?!:?! I always so mine outside" yes....now I know why. So anyway....let's just say the odiferous quality of my two dogs digestive systems for the next several days was....hmmm......toxic.

 

[Blakd]

So anyway....let's just say the odiferous quality of my two dogs digestive systems for the next several days was....hmmm......toxic.

I laughed harder at this one statement, than I did when we had a guy drive an hour in to the office, sit down at his desk, stand up and walk out the door. 2 1/2 hours later he strolls through the door sits down and gets to work. Found out later that he left his laptop at home and had to go get it. Never knew you could make it all the way to your desk with nothing in your hands and then realize you forgot ther only thing you had to bring to be able to work.

 

[CES]

I can also attest to the fact that while there may not be a medical condition entitled "too much elk meat"....there is in fact such a thing. I know this because year before last my neighbor asked...."hey...do you give your dog bones?" I said....sure...as long as they are raw and uncooked. He says..."ok....I'm butchering an elk today....I'll throw a bone over the fence for them" I figured np...keep them busy for a little while anyway. After a protracted period of uncharicteristic silence I thought....I better go make sure they havn't choked on a bone fragment or something. Imagine my surprise upon looking out the back door to see the entire hindquarter of a full grown bull elk laying in my yard.....my two idiot collies attached to it in what can only be described as a psuedo-sexual state of ecstasy.

Oh yes.....a 3 cycle bath and cream rinse. A call to the vet. And then a visit to the vet to have them de-wormed on a massive scale. And some sage advice from the vet. "Next time look before you say yes" To which I of course replied..." I KNOW! I'm not stupid"

ROFLMAO! are you going to give yourself a disposable SS?

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

You should get one for that comment!

ROFLMAO! are you going to give yourself a disposable SS?

 

[skydragon]

Hi lk,

I would enter every contest you have but I have discovered I need something with a higher voltage. So I don't want to take something from someone else and for you to waste prizes.

BUT........someone I thought would never try an e-cig bought a disposable spur of the moment and likes it. So if she likes that, she would love SmokStik so I am going to try.

At work:

Phone rings, I answer ...... Appliance.
Person on the other end say's "Is this ......Appliance?"
I answer, "Yes it is" (I just said so didn't I?)
They say "Do you sell appliances?"

The worst part is they aren't joking and I can't say what I want to since I really need my little part time job.

 

[bizzyb0t]

I don't know if this qualifies as something "stupid" that was said but it made me LOL...

I was vaping at a diner, while drinking my coffee and waiting for my breakfast order, when the waitress asked me what I was doing and if that was "real smoke". I was using my eGo, with a SmokTech DC Tank, and I explained that it was an "e-cig type" device. She asked me how it worked so I took it all apart and reassembled it again, and when I got to the part where I showed her how I refilled my tank with my bottle of eliquid and that it had nicotine in it, she asks me-- "Wouldn't it just be easier to drink it than to go through all the trouble of putting that thing together?" I swear I didn't mean to laugh but I just couldn't stop myself. I think I might of upset her a bit.

 

[MeowMix]

Man who walk past Airport turn-style sideways, going to Bangkok.

 

[Blakd]

Man who walk past Airport turn-style sideways, going to Bangkok.

Man who stand on toilet - Be high on pot

 

[bizzyb0t]

I blame the economy...

 

[Cyclin]

I blame the economy...

View attachment 85017

Serious!

 

[Allazar]

I blame the economy...

View attachment 85017

That would explain so much... particularly why Persian cats all seem to be brain-damaged

 

[lorikay13]

so my freind an i and his girlfreind were checking out his new iphone app that you point at the sky and it tells you what the stars are and get this, his GF casually asks us while we are looking up at the sky at stars "wheres the earth?"

only not laughing because I'm speechless.....LOL

Hi lk,

I would enter every contest you have but I have discovered I need something with a higher voltage. So I don't want to take something from someone else and for you to waste prizes.

BUT........someone I thought would never try an e-cig bought a disposable spur of the moment and likes it. So if she likes that, she would love SmokStik so I am going to try.

At work:

Phone rings, I answer ...... Appliance.
Person on the other end say's "Is this ......Appliance?"
I answer, "Yes it is" (I just said so didn't I?)
They say "Do you sell appliances?"

The worst part is they aren't joking and I can't say what I want to since I really need my little part time job.

An absolute classic. Almost as good as the calls we get from borderline irrate "customers"......only to find out once they calm down.....that they called the wrong company. The usual response....well I wasn't sure so I just called the first number I found where someone actually answered the phone.

When someone tells me they cannot find a document on their computer and I ask
"Where did you save it?"
and I get the answer
"In Word."

Right up there with..."what browser are you using? lengthy pause for the customer to "think"......"um....Windows?"


You were ALL funny so it was hard to choose but ultimately I went with the people that followed instructions and gave me personal experiences with stupid people.....ok...ok.....not PC.....how bout....um.....societally interactively impaired? PM me with you choices and all the other stuff I mentioned in the first post. Cheers!

BTW....this contest is to put the product in the hands of SMOKERS......you do not have to be a SmokeStik user yourself. But the reason we decided to launch these disposables was to be able to put the product into the hands of people who have either never vaped....or just started and need something uber simple to keep them on the right track....so don't be shy! It's all good.

One more thing....If you could respond to me in the next 12 hours or so that would be awesome....the postperson is coming to pick up last weeks winning packages tomorrow....get your responses to me tonight and your will go out tomorrow as well. Sorry for the delay....I was waiting for the candy cigarettes...LOL

 

[lorikay13]

Oh one more thing.....try to follow directions this week.....and make it good.....cuz this week I'm giving away a custom lanyard.....if it's over the top funny....and a personal experience....gleaning from this website won't get you anywhere.....well.....because I read it too.

http://notalwaysright.com/

For the entire week I will give away ONE lanyard and two disposables. Cheers!!!!!

 

[CES]

Well, i was gonna post a st pat's day vid that might make people smile...but in the interests of attempting to follow instructions i won't. I'll put it in the bad girls thread. Congrats to the people who made LK smile

 

[lorikay13]

oh hell CES....post it!!!! I loved that video!!!!! I was gonna give you a prize for it anyway. It's that good!

 

[warlike36]

Now be honest. If you ran RJR-Nabisco, wouldn't you be tempted to slip a little nicotine into your crackers?
Nothing like a good saltine to relax you.
And a half hour later you want another one.
After a good meal, you'd lean back and suck on a nice cracker.

 

[CES]

Ok, so, as promised the dogs in frilly hats

<-------

and happy St Patrick's day Y'all

ok- here it is....

(I just don't want anyone slipping any crackers into my nicotine though Warlike )

 

[Sundrinkr]