Make us Laugh!!!

[jazdale]

So a priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into the bar
...and the bartender sez "hey, is this a joke?"

 

[Evie Luv]

I know Karate, Judo, Jujutsu, Taekwondo and lots of other dangerous words.

 

[analog]

What do you call an atheist with kids?
A Unitarian.

 

[analog]

You know those jokes you think are hilarious, but you think might be inappropriate, so you really have to gauge the company you're with before you tell them? Yeah, well on the internet that is a really difficult call to make, so apologies in advance....

What color is EvieLuv's favorite battery?
(again, please forgive me)
Blue, as in it "blue" right out the window!

(did I mention I'm sorry?)

 

[popeye79]

So a blooger a riV4L and a modder are vaping together when a genie shows up and grants them a free ml of their favorite juice. The modder gets a ml of high voltage scary juice, the riV4L a ml of WowSuperSunnyWowJuiceWow. The blooger receives a ml of bloog's 555.

By the unlikeliest of coincidences that only happens in jokes, right then 3 flies buzz in and land in each of the juices. The modder turns his nose up in disgust and pushes the ml away demanding another. The riV4L picks the fly out, flicks it to the side and loads up his carto. The blooger grabs the fly, holds him over his carto and screams "spit it out you ......., spit it out!"

(our juice is precious to us!)

Freaking awasome!

removed

Can we leave crap like this off the forum please? If you don't know what I'm talking about, then it's best that you never post another joke again.

 

[starsong]

I've unliked everything, except analog's juice joke because that was just too funny.

 

[MichelleDen]

Why so sensitive? Maybe i should be insulted over the atheist joke then... (im not)

Please explain?

 

[pmos69]

It's "a bit" racist.
You might not see it that way, from a distance, but the reality in the US is different.
(me thinks)

 

[MichelleDen]

But what if Valdrak is originally from Mexico? Then it would be ok? It wasnt racist until Popeye made it so...

I think Carlos Mencia has a very good underlying point, in his shows when he talks about ethnicity... He lives in USA too....He gives eeverybody a hard time, inclueding his own... taking the seriousness out of it...

So, no wordplay on mexican expressions...What else? Other things that are not allowed? The only person i see as out of line, is popeye calling other peoples inputs for crap. That provokes the h... out of me....What about the Irish joke? Is that ok? Calling the Irish no good drunks is ok? But making fun of the word esse is not? wtf...

 

[Valdrak]

I thought that it was slightly funny just about the word play of it. The mexican slang word pronounced "es-ay" is a term meaning like "friend" or "homie".

My apologies for offending. I thought it was harmless enough, but I guess not. Crap edited out.

 

[jazdale]

I thought that it was slightly funny just about the word play of it. The mexican slang word pronounced "es-ay" is a term meaning like "friend" or "homie".

My apologies for offending. I thought it was harmless enough, but I guess not. Crap edited out.

Forget it, Val. Game over...thread done.
As soon as someone plays the sensitivity trump card, there really is no reason to continue.

 

[MichelleDen]

Forget it, Val. Game over...thread done.
As soon as someone plays the sensitivity trump card, there really is no reason to continue.

And what a shame that is... Even made Evie delete her joke...... it was ruff Evie, but still clever..

Evie and Valdrak: you guys can tell me jokes anytime you want.... you can even joke about danes if you like ; ) or drunken dirty danes, who have funny slang...

 

[redempti0N]

there is no need to stop the jokes, just dont post any racist jokes.

 

[Valdrak]

A man is getting quite sick and has been for a long time due to his cheating past, and he calls to his wife of 15 years, "Please honey, call the doctor, I think I need some help." So the wife calls the doctor and gives him a thorough check up. The doc brings the wife into the other room for a sit down and talk. The doc says to her, "He is a very ill man... unless you wait on him hand and foot, make all of his meals and serve them to him, and give him all the loving he needs... he is going to die. If you do help your husband out in any way possible, he can live after 2 years of constant care." The doctor leaves and the wife goes back to see the husband, and he asks, "What did the doc say?" She replies... "You're going to die..."

 

[Evie Luv]

there is no need to stop the jokes, just dont post any racist jokes.

That's just it everything is racist or sexist or dirty to someone. You can't please everyone but if you offend one or two then game over.

And I deleted 3 jokes Michelle, The Little Red Riding Hood, The Game Show Contestant and The Sex Rodeo but I couldn't edit the title. I didn't think they were that dirty, I thought they were funny. I never meant to be offensive to anyone.

 

[MichelleDen]

You cant live your life tryin not to offend anyone... doesnt work, you WILL fail at some point...

Im offended by Star hitting the like button on the irish joke but wanting to get rid of one on a mexican word... Thats just .... well kinda racist..

I think we should just make one on every ethnicity there is.. get it out of the way.. all is even.. its JUST jokes.... oh and btw the irish one was funny too.

 

[Evie Luv]

Okay my attempt at the perfect non-sexist, non-racist, non-slanderous, non-dirty, and non-offensive joke.

Knock, Knock
Who's There?
Trump
Trump Who?
TRUMP THAT!

 

[MichelleDen]

Isnt that offensive to Donald?

 

[Evie Luv]

Isnt that offensive to Donald?

LMAO well crap.....

................the search continues

 

[MichelleDen]

I have one.. its lame but not offensive i think..

What do you call invisable dinosaurs?

Doyouthinkhesawus...