Okay, sorry it took me so long. So when I was 12, my parents got a divorce, all four of my grandparents passed, a good friend passed, and my dog (my best friend) got sick and was put down. I always knew the divorce was never my fault, however, something changed in me that year and set me on a dark and dangerous path. I began rebelling, not trying in school, changed my appearance drastically (punk), became massively depressed, and considered trying certain substances. They never really stuck until I hit high school, thats when the daily use of whats now legal in Colorado began.
For me, it was a definitely a gateway. I held all of this trauma in, never told anyone what I was feeling, and tried my best to pass off as stable. I was constantly trying to build and maintain this wall so that I didn't have to feel. Once I hit my junior year in HS, I was introduced to much harder substances and they took me, immediately. I was instantly hooked, and they took over my life. Somehow, I managed to scrape
through HS while still achieving a decent GPA, but things were quickly deteriorating. Once I graduated high school, these things had completely taken over my life. I was debilitated. The depression, and endless cycle of trying to get more left me beyond repair.
I finally decided it was time to get well, so I went into treatment, graduated, stayed clean for just about a month, and thought I had it licked (probably the worst notion anyone like me could have). I immediately found that I was convincing myself I could use recreationally, that I could handle it, and I finally cracked. I went out and got some, and stupidly went back to the dose I was taking before I got clean for that month and my tolerance had been drastically reduced. Well, this caused me to OD, shortly after I had started driving. I lost consciousness and flipped my car on the highway at 70mph. The next thing I know I'm waking up in a hospital surrounded by 20 EMT's, doctors, and ER nurses. I immediately told them what happened so they knew how to treat me (medically), even with a police officer in the room (he issue me a DUI, as I deserved).
This was my awakening, I was killing myself. There is no scientific reason that I lived
through that crash. I should have been dead, my car was a mangled nightmare. The first person to roll up on the accident was a registered nurse who just happened to be on her way to work. This occurred about a minute from a fire and ambulance station, and about a mile from the hospital where that nurse worked and I was taken. Those four things opened my eyes, something wanted me here. I have never been religious nor will I ever be, but I cannot deny that something greater than me kept me around. I immediately cleaned myself up, and enrolled in college. This is when I began writing music as a way to get things out, not hold them in any more.
I now have 3 years and 3 months clean from those substances and I was just admitted to a top 10 engineering school. I'll be majoring in Petroleum Engineering. Not to mention the album, the point of this thread!
The album is a musical representation of that 'Shift' in my life. A few of the songs have been wrapped in the guise that they're about girls, but that was marketing. They are truly a representation of this change in my life.
Well there it is, my life on a platter. All of that and I'm only 20 years old.
