Parents dont let me vape, help.

[CaliforniaGirl]

UNTIL you start picking up your end of the tab.
I moved in back into my dad's when economics started hitting. It was big enough for two families, and we ended up sharing the costs. But he always refused the fact of me redecorating my end of the thing. Sore discussions followed. In the end, I think would have been wiser each to have their own.

This is an entirely different situation from the OP's.

When he begins to pay half of the household expenses, I imagine he should then have a say in whether or not he vapes in their house. But obviously, that time has not come so this is not the issue at all.

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

To me the above in bold certainly sounds like challenging house rules in a disrespectful fashion.
Obviously the OP has been asked to not vape in the house, folks come home and discover he has ignored their wishes, I get the impression multiple times. (I could be reading too far between the lines)
After he has been caught ignoring their rules now he expects to sit down and have a reasonable intelligent discussion in hopes they change their mind.
The choice to move out wouldn't be his , he already made up his mind to move out when he decided to act out like a child by testing boundaries instead of simply walking outdoors to vape like a respectful young adult.

I'm not so sure about this. He is still a kid, after all (sorry, OP). He wasn't trying to be blatantly disrespectful, he was just trying to get away with something...which all kids do, usually many times over. He didn't get away with it. I think he's approaching this in quite a mature manner overall. JMO.

 

[EvilZoe]

I'm not so sure about this. He is still a kid, after all (sorry, OP). He wasn't trying to be blatantly disrespectful, he was just trying to get away with something...which all kids do, usually many times over. He didn't get away with it. I think he's approaching this in quite a mature manner overall. JMO.

I think he was more upset with the fact that his parents kept referring to his equipment as a pipe or as something that looks as though illegal substances were used in it. It bothered him a lot.

 

[Kevin King]

wow. i feel sorry for you buddy. its sad when parents ignore the facts. {SOMETHING ILLICIT} and "drug paraphenilia"... really? tell them exactly what "vaping" is, and show them how it works as clearly as possible. if they could see how beneficial vaping is to an ex smoker, they wouldnt be caring about what "other people think".

 

[Zbeast08]

If they knew you smoked stickies and you did not do this in front of them, share some knowledge with them from this site and others on the benefits of vaping versus smoking. I have a son in college and I never knew he smoked..he did dip as he played baseball for 15 years. I saw an Ecig-actually a nice starter joye kit that he had purchased and he says he uses it occasionally when he is having a beer or two or three...I am 48 and pretty liberal or open minded about things alot more so than my parents. Give it some time and show respect by vamping outside until you can prove to them that it is not drug related!! I wouldn't encourage showing them a 3 hose hookah that I enjoy fom time to time as this freaked out my son!!

 

[Mrs C]

Op if parents are concerned about the appearance of your equipment, show them a cigalike ask if that would be acceptable to to them for you to use when you would be visible to whoever it is they are worried will think you are doing something illegal. Keep your fog machine out of sight at home and when you are in the vicinity of the house. They are providing a roof over your head and an education, there is a time and a place to assert your budding adulthood, this ain't it.

Sometimes the best way to show you maturity is by knowing when to let the subject go.

 

[grayscale]

Hello everyone?!
First let me say I apologize if I missed something in the middle and am just reiterating something already said, but ... I got really tired of so many people saying what the OP already resigned to - "Their house their rules" etc etc. Matter of fact he should be commended for recognizing that first off. We should also commend him for wanting to educate others. Instead of brow beating, we should be reaching out and giving as much info as we can, because of course, every person we can educate is a help to our cause. It sounds to me like his parents have written off vaping in the first two seconds just as so many others have. No surprise - but now is the chance to get the facts out there once again.

OP - my best suggestion to you is to take a little time to research here. There are many, many articles, posts, blogs and links with all the info you could possibly need. Be patient - allow your parents plenty of time to do their own thinking on it once they have read some. Consider that 1. non-smokers of any kind live in a different world than smokers of any kind. 2. vaping is very technology related(albeit simple) but every time new technology comes out people need time to adjust to it. My boss is an ex-smoker, he quit about 7 years ago, but he doesn't want me to vape in the office, and has told me it's simply because he doesn't know anything about it and doesn't care to. 3. they grew up in a different era than you. Kind of obvious but an essential point, that goes along with the technology comment. In their day you either smoked or you didn't, there was no inbetween. This is a difficult perception to break through and one that each of here struggle with on regular basis in one way or another.
Bottom line is - give them all the info you can, abide by their rules, and live with a clear conscious!

 

[cmdebrecht]

Funny how as adults some of us couldn't light up in front of our parents. I would say, "I am 40 years old, I can't believe I don't have the guts to smoke in front of my mom." And she smoked til I was in high school lol. Go figure.

 

[Nermal]

Honestly sorry to hear this is the way it has gone. The logic is on your side, and it doesn't help a bit. Good practice for some of the employers you will probably have, huh?

 

[Jman8]

Okay, so i just talked about it with them. they said that they dont realy care that much themselves because they are convinced of its safetey, but that they are just worried about what others think about it. they said: "if someone sees you with it, they will think you are a addict and that you are smoking something else out of that thing"... ugh. i dont know

With the bolded part in there (that I added), I no longer see it as a 'their house, their rules' issue. With the bolded part in there, it is possible that if they see you outside/anywhere doing it, the threat to kick you out could still be in effect, thus not really about doing it around the house, as logically you would be around less people.

I agree with what your parents are saying, but only up to a point. It is plausible that if others see you (and others that they know personally), those people may think you are an addict and/or are 'smoking' something else other than nicotine.

As you know your parents far better than us, and thus know best ways to approach them, and when, I'd just make a general suggestion that has you following their request to not do it around them while discussing and winning them over on their largest concern, how others will perceive what you are up to. I don't get why they wouldn't be saying the opposite, as in 'do it here, but nowhere else, unless you are in private residence with friends.' But as they are giving off a very confusing message, IMO, I think you just honor their request but keep poking away at it in way that you truly think works, given your knowledge of them. I'd also suggest stealth vaping at home, but only if you think it is truly stealth. Until you win on the larger point, then vaping at home is the smaller point and will just be seen as rocking the boat given their confusing position on this matter.

Also, to state the obvious, you could let them know that if you are ever allowed to vape at home, you would be considerate enough to not do it while they have guests in the house or on the property.

 

[cmdebrecht]

It occurred to me that there could be a bigger picture here.

I remember my first break home from college. I told my parents I was going over to a friend's house...It was a weeknight. My dad told me to be home at 9:30. I argued of course, and said why in the world should I be expected to be home at 9:30? I'm a college student! I will be home at 10! And I stomped out of the house lol.

So in retrospect, daddy's little girl was home again and maybe he just needed a little reassurance that I was in fact, still daddy's little girl. And I was all grown up and could do what I want! Well, I didn't know it then, but I never wanted to outgrow daddy. And he didn't know either, that no matter how old I got, I would always, always be his girl.

But those are growing pains all families face. My son is going to be 17 and my daughter 14. Are you kidding me?! When did THAT happen? I can't imagine the power struggles that will ensue in the coming years.

I guess my point is, perhaps your parents just need a little reassurance that they still have a little influence over your actions and well-being, and that you're not going to go running willy-nilly out into the crazy screwed up world without looking both ways before you cross the street.

 

[patkin]

Reading your posts, I could be wrong, but, based on their "paraphernalia" comment, it sounds like you're sporting a very foreign-looking object containing an equally foreign-looking substance you suck on. Maybe its the form factor they have a problem with since they can't express exactly what their issue is when everything is explained logically to them. It sounds like an emotional reaction to something they're seeing. Most of us react strongly to the visual even when we know what we're looking at isn't what it seems. Maybe, if this is the case, they would have less problem with a black cigalike (as in Blu-looking) since it doesn't really look like a smoke nor "paraphernalia."

 

[Rocketman]

You came to a vaping forum to get support for vaping. Yup, good move.
The problem is, we here don't see a problem with vaping. It's our god given right, guaranteed by the constitution to vape if we want. It's not near as risky as smoking, but much more risky than not doing either. If in fact the OP is in college and not in middle school "but my friends vape in front of their parents" why not start trying to ween yourself off nicotine totally.
We have many 'young' people that frequent this forum, some never smoked and want to vape to be cool, they like the image.
I guess to help justify vaping for the rest of us we will support anyone that wants to vape. People that haven't been smoking long at all, those having health problems with PG so we recommend VG, people that can't afford to smoke turn to vaping. Ha. That's just a bear trap in disguise. People living off someone else's dime want to find the best price on a new mod or find just the perfect flavor.
Come to a vaping forum, we'll help anyone.

Parents not wanting their child, however old, for whatever reason, to not vape, sounds like a good thing. Work out a plan to continue, working toward quitting altogether. It will be money in the bank. Unless you have some off the wall health condition where nicotine may actually help you why vape if you don't have to?

But then what would happen to all the vaping forums?

 

[retrox]

There are two types of people who vape: Those who do so in an effort to quit smoking, and ultimately, to cease nicotine consumption altogether; and then there are those who vape because they enjoy it as much (or moreso) than smoking, and have no intentions of ever giving it up barring some sort of catastrophic government intervention. Which camp are you a member of?

If the former, give your parents a timeline for your cessation. More importantly, set goals for yourself. Step down your nicotine, set limits on how many "puffs" you get per hour, per day. Let your parents know that you don't want to be a smoker for the rest of your life, and that what you're doing now will ensure that you won't be. Point them to CASAA.org. Everything they need to know is right there on the home page. Print it out for them if you must. Don't try to convince them that it's "okay!" to vape. Don't try to convince them of anything other than the fact that vaping is far less deadly than smoking, and that vaping has set you on a course to eliminate both activities from your life forever.

If you're like me and have no intentions of giving up your vape, there's not much you can do aside from finishing your education, securing gainful employment, and moving your .... out. And if your parents are truly as judgmental and vindictive as you make them out to be, the sooner the better.

 

[HauntedMyst]

Take old Uncle Haunted's advice and gently remind them that they are getting older, that the price of health care and long term care is going up and up and that they are both looking more tired and run down every day. Tell dad he's lost an inch or two as his bones have weakened and let mom know she has found those inches and more around her waist. Then tell them they will be both old and feeble sooner than they know it and need you to help take care of them in their golden years. Remind them with love that you can take care of them the right way or you can put them in a nursing home that will make Joliet Federal Penitentiary look like a day at Disneyland if they make the wrong decision on this vaping thing. It's really all just about putting 20/20 vision on the family love goggles.

 

[Mrs C]

Take old Uncle Haunted's advice and gently remind them that they are getting older, that the price of health care and long term care is going up and up and that they are both looking more tired and run down every day. Tell dad he's lost an inch or two as his bones have weakened and let mom know she has found those inches and more around her waist. Then tell them they will be both old and feeble sooner than they know it and need you to help take care of them and that you can take care of them the right way or you can put them in a nursing home that will make Joliet Federal Penitentiary look like a day at Disneyland if they make the wrong decision on this vaping thing. It's really all just about putting 20/20 vision on the family love goggles.

If my child ever said something like that to me ...that money being spent on college and putting a roof over their head would be re routed into a long therm care policy for myself. The roof over their head would be the sun stars and clouds with the imprint of the doorknob on their backside.

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

If my child ever said something like that to me ...that money being spent on college and putting a roof over their head would be re routed into a long therm care policy for myself. The roof over their head would be the sun stars and clouds with the imprint of the doorknob on their backside.

Ha ha, same here, but I'm pretty sure HauntedMyst was just being funny.

 

[Ryedan]

If my child ever said something like that to me ...that money being spent on college and putting a roof over their head would be re routed into a long therm care policy for myself. The roof over their head would be the sun stars and clouds with the imprint of the doorknob on their backside.

Priceless post Mrs C! I was thinking along the same lines, but I could not have said it better than you did. I might though have added a little thingy about my will.

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

I'm 99% certain HauntedMyst was just being funny, but if my child actually did say something like that to me I definitely would pull all financial (current and future) resources I'd up til that point had divvied up for him and sock it into a retirement fund for myself and my husband instead. There wouldn't be much choice, you know?

But again...I'm pretty sure it was just a joke.

 

[gr1llmeacheese]

This may be helpful. Ask them to read this.

Link

That is an article entitled "Top 20 rebuttals to win an e-Cigarette debate." It basically outlines all of the opposition to vaping that exists and gives proof that most of the scare tactics are smoke and mirrors.