Interesting thread, this.
I think there is a lot of misinterpretation of intent on both sides here.
Proto (I know you're still lurking, I would be): I've only been a part of these forums (and in a very limited capacity) for about a week now. I claim membership for an exhaustive and possibly embarrassing number of internet message boards. I think ECF, as far as I have observed is in my top 3 for maturity, understanding and a real sense of community. I can have no avarice toward you for trying to shed a little common sense into the proceedings here. I think your heart is in the right place. And I think you are coming up against the wall of that sense of community. There is a great deal of kinship with the members here. I truly do believe you have the interests of your fellow board members in mind with what you are saying. And honestly? I agree. That said, try and be a bit more accommodating to the experiences and opinions of your fellow ECF forumites. They are simply trying to let you know that they know the risks involved with the exchange of personal information, and that they deem the persons worthy of those risks. Folks get defensive when you are accusing people they know and/or trust with being potentially dangerous.
To everyone else: Allow me to relate to you a few personal experiences. I am a role player. I play role playing games. I roll dice, pretend to be an elf or a cyborg on a weekly basis. There is a very large message board called RPG.net. IIRC, it is the third largest message board system on the internet. I have made friends there, people I have met and role played with in real life. Most of them are solid, stand-up people. But damned if I haven't met some folks who came off as genuinely good people that were absolutely psychotic. I had to change my cell number and move to a different residence because of one of these individuals. He was intelligent, sincere, and sick in the head.
He threatened my friends and myself and my family over things that happened within the shared mental space of our role playing setting. I received the decapitated head of a cat on my doorstep, and while I can't say for sure from whence it came, I can only assume that it was from this person. It was just a box, no addresses or shipping information. In honesty, it was stupid of me to take the package into my home and open it. It could have been anything. There are some very messed up people out there that do not show their true colors until the right circumstances are met. It happens.
In Conclusion: While Proto has been somewhat confrontational about his opinion (and I believe it's only because he feels strongly about it), he does have a point. I have no doubt that those of you on these forums who know each other on a face-to-face basis are not stupid people. But I believe that Proto was only advising discretion when it comes to involving yourself with people you just cannot know.
Am I saying cordon yourself off from the rest of the populace because any of the potential for any them to be harmful to you on an emotional or physical level? Hell no. What I am saying is that a modicum of discretion is never a bad thing. I've picked up a hitcher or two myself. And both times it was a rewarding personal experience. It is possible that I might have come to bodily harm because of my actions, though. Did I accept that in the first place? Yes, absolutely. But that's me, I am considerate and live by the Golden Rule to a fault. Which might be why I'm playing Devil's Advocate here.
Take Proto's concerns for what they are. Concern's for the wellbeing of people he does not know. Which is as selfless a consideration as there is. Though you may not agree, try to understand the position from which he is voicing his opinions.
I understand that in this situation the two forumites involved know and are known by other members of the forum, and that's good, and that help's solidify the sense of community that I've observed here. Do not let that positive aspect of these forums be the catalyst for alienating someone who is only trying to impart a bit of wise discretion. Disagree, if you do, certainly. But don't deride the man for being concerned for your safety.
BiteMe52: That was a classy handling of the situation. Hat's off to you, sir.
I don't think anyone involved in this discussion in the wrong. I just think the handling of presenting the opinions involved leaves a little to be desired, on both sides of the argument, is all. We're all adults here, and we can all handle a little constructive criticism, right?
This is, btw, one of the most civil "flam wars" I've ever witnessed on an internet message board. Good on everyone for that. Seriously.
-Rook
I think there is a lot of misinterpretation of intent on both sides here.
Proto (I know you're still lurking, I would be): I've only been a part of these forums (and in a very limited capacity) for about a week now. I claim membership for an exhaustive and possibly embarrassing number of internet message boards. I think ECF, as far as I have observed is in my top 3 for maturity, understanding and a real sense of community. I can have no avarice toward you for trying to shed a little common sense into the proceedings here. I think your heart is in the right place. And I think you are coming up against the wall of that sense of community. There is a great deal of kinship with the members here. I truly do believe you have the interests of your fellow board members in mind with what you are saying. And honestly? I agree. That said, try and be a bit more accommodating to the experiences and opinions of your fellow ECF forumites. They are simply trying to let you know that they know the risks involved with the exchange of personal information, and that they deem the persons worthy of those risks. Folks get defensive when you are accusing people they know and/or trust with being potentially dangerous.
To everyone else: Allow me to relate to you a few personal experiences. I am a role player. I play role playing games. I roll dice, pretend to be an elf or a cyborg on a weekly basis. There is a very large message board called RPG.net. IIRC, it is the third largest message board system on the internet. I have made friends there, people I have met and role played with in real life. Most of them are solid, stand-up people. But damned if I haven't met some folks who came off as genuinely good people that were absolutely psychotic. I had to change my cell number and move to a different residence because of one of these individuals. He was intelligent, sincere, and sick in the head.
He threatened my friends and myself and my family over things that happened within the shared mental space of our role playing setting. I received the decapitated head of a cat on my doorstep, and while I can't say for sure from whence it came, I can only assume that it was from this person. It was just a box, no addresses or shipping information. In honesty, it was stupid of me to take the package into my home and open it. It could have been anything. There are some very messed up people out there that do not show their true colors until the right circumstances are met. It happens.
In Conclusion: While Proto has been somewhat confrontational about his opinion (and I believe it's only because he feels strongly about it), he does have a point. I have no doubt that those of you on these forums who know each other on a face-to-face basis are not stupid people. But I believe that Proto was only advising discretion when it comes to involving yourself with people you just cannot know.
Am I saying cordon yourself off from the rest of the populace because any of the potential for any them to be harmful to you on an emotional or physical level? Hell no. What I am saying is that a modicum of discretion is never a bad thing. I've picked up a hitcher or two myself. And both times it was a rewarding personal experience. It is possible that I might have come to bodily harm because of my actions, though. Did I accept that in the first place? Yes, absolutely. But that's me, I am considerate and live by the Golden Rule to a fault. Which might be why I'm playing Devil's Advocate here.
Take Proto's concerns for what they are. Concern's for the wellbeing of people he does not know. Which is as selfless a consideration as there is. Though you may not agree, try to understand the position from which he is voicing his opinions.
I understand that in this situation the two forumites involved know and are known by other members of the forum, and that's good, and that help's solidify the sense of community that I've observed here. Do not let that positive aspect of these forums be the catalyst for alienating someone who is only trying to impart a bit of wise discretion. Disagree, if you do, certainly. But don't deride the man for being concerned for your safety.
BiteMe52: That was a classy handling of the situation. Hat's off to you, sir.
I don't think anyone involved in this discussion in the wrong. I just think the handling of presenting the opinions involved leaves a little to be desired, on both sides of the argument, is all. We're all adults here, and we can all handle a little constructive criticism, right?
This is, btw, one of the most civil "flam wars" I've ever witnessed on an internet message board. Good on everyone for that. Seriously.
-Rook
