I've been vaping for quite sometime and have invested quite a bit of money in liquids, self-mods, kits, battery packs, etc. I don't even want to think of the total sum, but I know it's well beyond a grand.
I initially started vaping because I was in search of a way to quit smoking, a promise that I made to my daughter. In the end, I've flaked out and replaced an awful habit with another. Vaping may not be as disgusting or revolting as traditional cigarettes are, but for me it's still another habit, nonetheless.
So, in my attempts to quit nicotine altogether. I've found that I am a little more addicted to nicotine than I once eluded myself to believe.
There are many things that I am grateful about the ecigs. In 14 years of many failed attempts to quit smoking. I haven't touched a single cigarette since April 12. The most I've ever been able to stay away from cigs with the help of patches, gum, chantix, and cold turkey was 1-2 days.
But, it appears that ecigs can only assist with so much in the process of self control. I started with 36mg nicotine and have been reducing the amount more and more.
The more I reduce. The more I vape to compensate. The more I vape, the more I buy. I've tried to go cold turkey without the use of vaping, and found that I begin to become scatter brained, uneasy, and sometimes irritable.
I even left the house without any way to vape for a whole day. All I could think about is getting a nicotine fix. So, I went to the gas station and asked for a pack of Marlboro Menthol 72's. Fortunately the counter lady didn't hear me right and went to reach for reds.
I experienced something similar that I had endured when I was in a wreck some years back. A, 'life flashed before my eyes moment.' During this time, I was able to quickly reflect on the amount of time I've been able to stay away from cigs. I was able to think about all the money I invested in ecigs and what a total loss it would have been for me to restart this habit. I was able to see my 3 year old daughter shaking her head at me for giving up and appearing as a weak man.
All I had to do is make it through the day, get home and get to my ecigs. So, I quickly told the clerk that I changed my mind and sorry for the inconvenience.
I'm proud of myself for being able to overcome my moment of weakness. However, I'm not all that happy that I'm still and probably always will be addicted to nicotine.
So, apparently I prefer ecigs, but if I don't have it around and can't get to them soon enough, I'd prefer anything available with nicotine. I'd probably sip on my eliquid if I had to since I'm apparently a nicotine junkie. Makes me sad.