Basements and attics are terrifying places. That is kind of why you shouldn't have sheds either, but most Tucson homes do not have basements or attics. Things sort of marry each other and birth horrible, misshapen things.
But you have to USE them that is how it works.
The worst thing our basement in Baltimore ever was filled with was about two inches of poop and water. We had an overflowing toilet that turned out to be like roots from the line to the house. The husband (bless his heart) decided Roto Rooter was not an option. He got his own machine they are really hard to use, he wound up wrapping it around one leg and drawing blood. .AFTER that, when pulling it out, he uh, well, it was unfortunate but he good poop in his MOUTH. Also the machine was like rented by the hour or something (that is NEVER good) so he was in a super hurry. He called me on the way to return it to tell me his sad, and sorry tale.
I am afraid I busted up laughing. I also said, "Honey, I love you no one has ever LITERALLY eaten s
t for me before!!! Thank you so much!" It was like brand new too, so I made sure to point out it was likely not OUR waste he had consumed.
We were living together I think that may have like, uh, delayed the proposal a few months. LOL.
I felt SO bad when I came home and saw the uh "Floor" or rather did NOT see the floor of the attic, I actually mopped it all up, I was like "Oh dear, that POOR man."
The words escaped my mouth before I could suck them back in. He was mollified slightly by my mopping though.
Still: tenuous moment. It's really WRONG to make something like that like WORSE.
It still remains one of my favorite stories though. I got the offer anyway I guess the husband was like, "Surely this is the worst it can get with this woman."
How little he knew. How little we both knew. If everyone could see ALL the future at once this planet would be EMPTY man.
Anna
