I'm sorry
@kas122461 . That is very sad. I don't get why this stuff, either. My grandmother lived to be over 100 and she was not the nicest person. My mom had not seen her in like 50 years and decided on a final visit and the first thing my grandmother said was, "Cor, blimy, you've gotten fat haven't you." My mom who I guess has matured in her old age was like, "Yes, ma, good to see you I have gotten very fat in my old age, good to see you, love you a bunch."
My response would have been different I hated that old sow. My earliest memory of her was my mom like, leaving us with her for some reason and she woke up and told me and my little sister "You can have ANYTHING for breakfast you want!" My sis was like, "I would like some toast please." My GM was like, "I'm NOT TOASTING this nice fresh bread what is wrong with you."
Telling that woman the logical inconsistency between her TWO ENTIRELY conflicting statements does NOT work and the SHEER INJUSTICE (I was like 4) sent me crying to my room and I cut up my favorite dress. To be fair to my mom, she fixed it with patches. She also said, "Why aren't you cutting up GM's dress?" I gave her the darkest of looks and like said, "Have you met your mommy before? I bet she would toast my fingers."
Yeah, she lived to over 100. Whoo. A relative had to take her in for DECADES. I don't think I coulda done it but who knows. l was not asked, and I am glad.
These things make no sense, other than that tired trope of like us being on the OTHER side of the tapestry of JOY where like, up ABOVE everything is perfect but down here there are knots and frayed knots (my GM) and no discernable pattern.
We got the dog. I was crying ,smoking, wailing "My son will never BELIEVE me!" and promising God that if the dog came back, we would live in an RV if necessary. I so wish I had not made that promise because I don't want to BE LIKE MY GM if necessary. Like, "Oh sorry God, I'm not staying in this lovely new autumn ecosystem like, .because I changed my mind. Get me a house or the dog dies.
My life is just an example of how not to live a life.
That song, "How to save a life" by the fray about suicide and death well it is "mah" psychotic song it plays at odd moments when I need it when I have made a "GOOD psychotic decision" like "Call your family and let them admit you to the psych unit."
I am going to rewrite it sometime and entitle it "How NOT to live a life."
It will be aswesom I might record it even. I have a decent voice. It's an easy song.
Oh well, quote a pair of middle school girls at the mall going, "Ooh here comes Crystal don't look at her she dresses WEIRD." The other girl, "Well, at least she's not fat."
"Cor blimy at least I'm not fat.;
Anna