Ugh this is making me depressed-er. All my work is gonna be in person I think. If I can make me go in, IDK..
This morning I feel like such a failure. I woke to my alarm but it was 5 am so IDK if it counts.
The Depakote is not going to work, I don't think. I forgot how it made me feel. For the first time I can think of, in like, ever, I literally forced myself to get on my yoga mat and like, I just couldn't do it. It just wasn't even possible. Maybe I will feel calmer once I talk to my boss and at least KNOW what her Machiavellian plan is for me and like, go from there. I'm sure I can make something work, I'm guessing. I just... This sucks. I also have not pooped since my first dose, so like, that's not cool. I forgot that side effect, I'm sitting here drinking Diet Pepsi because it settles my stomach.
I feel like death warmed over. I can't focus and I can't cope. I am getting emails that make me think I like, am missing out on some things but who knows. Probably. I gotta turn loathing my boss into loving my boss, IDK if I have the energy to do it.
But yeah I'm not feeling manic, I am not feeling at all FUNCTIONAL either. I think it will have to be daytime Seroquel instead if needed because this isn't tolerable even slightly.
Oh well. Life goes on. Sometimes unfortunately, I kind of think. Guess we will have to see.
Anna