Because I really thought he had taken care of it. Because once I entered the Phase of Detox, I had already contacted him. Because he is only open a few days a week now, so even if I do call, I may not get an answer.
I will tell you whut. This has been a "pleasant" little tolerance break, and I am now going to email just about EVERYONE I know in the area, including two of the MH boards I used to mod at but have not needed in some time, to get doctor's recommendations.
Because I cannot like, MAKE my doctor refer me (I mean... .now it is TWO dang psychiatrists. One for ONE thing and a neurologist for the diazepam does he think I am made of DOUGH?)
I'm like gonna HAVE to get on it though, that is for sure. Husbando is out getting my Neurontin as we speak and I bet some other stuff too. I had to Promise Him I would not raid his weed stash which like, it would take a seizure or something as it is pretty illegal.
But yeah, I cannot wait out Pdoc, like, he has less motivation than me by FAR.
There is this brief moment when you are like, "OMG I am going to feel better" and then right after that you are like, "OMG I gotta get caught up on THIS, on THAT etc."
But,
@FranC, it is actually really hard to find a new specialist after 13 years AND what has gone on with controlled substances over the past OBAMANATEYOU years. I mean, I would not be on this regimen had I not had ONE pdoc during that time, and a chill one.
So now I get to cut back on everything either way, just gonna have to JUMP. I think I will feel happier doing it if I am not paying the guy who was all "TAKE AS MUCH VALIUM AS YOU NEED" only to turn into, "I don't want to prescribe that," guy. It still royally ticks me off.
Of course, I could totally report him AFTER I'm done but you know what they say about Stockholm syndrome.... I wonder what they say, anyway? Like, "We all find ways to cope?" "It's good, it's bad, it's both?"
I get you'd be all on top of it, but I really thought he UNDERSTOOD when I was like, "It is illegal for you not to find me someone." Etc.
I should ask his LAST secretary, the one who retired, she was smarter than everyone in the BUILDING but she like, MAY have retired out of the country, even. LOL.
Anna