Okay I have now discovered like, uh, like ANY workplace filled with PEOPLE, even the sunniest of dispositions, I just can find the SEETHING underbelly of like how EVERYONE secretly hates/resents/has issues with each other in under 60 days.
The should SO make a TV show about me, Called, "Broke Work Mountain,
under 60 days."
OH I have been learning how my work wants to be all sunny and cheerful all the time. They sort of want things to work, if they DO work, like sort of by accident if they don't DO anything, but like, LOL, if it involves a bit of "This happened because of that?"
I have decided since it's my retirement job I am just going to play dumb and learn to fix things myself, which I SHOULD have done like, without sending an email, which I now wish I had not sent, because I am now pretty good at ferreting out problems in programs since like, I am mostly ah, self taught and all.
So this morning I had been getting these freaky weird emails and well, I got a complaint of this the week before when I had my stupid video vid all messed up and sought my supervisor's help with which he was NOT helpful with once I DOVE into 5 hours of like, ah, exploration of why the clerks couldn't keep me straight. SO I KEPT getting notifications of like crud which I SAID at the time were a problem last week and should we not note that there was more than one problem... since like, they might be connected. My supervisor was all, "Nahhh.... it's not YOUR problem." I gave him the big eyes ,but he shrugged me off. SO THIS a.m. I had the poor person with like 56 email reminders only he wanted his own like, provider so to speak and not me but she was scheduled. This is a person who LITERLALLY cannot leave home ATM and I barely BELIEVE in COVID. I mean, really.
So, I sat and I was like, "I will email NOW because I was correct." So I sent a "Facts" email which like included my supervisor saying it was not my problem but how like I kind of felt like it was and the other therapist had not reported it (smart strategy,....maybe it would go away.... without conflict?)
IN ANY NON GOVERNMENTAL job, this would be the email I would write: noticed occurrence on said DATE, blah blah this is why I am doing now what I am doing, blah blah. No biggie.
So my supervisor who is THE black dude I have NEVER more wanted to call a p

y, summoned me and talked for a long time about how he was sure I could like, be a team player and I could contact him ANYTIME (he is off half the time, he is wrong the other 2/3 of the time I am his FIRST supervisee.) Now, I will say he is an extremely NICE man and he cares about people and stuff and that's SO GREAT. BUT, never MORE have I wanted to call a black dude a pu

SSSSSSSSSSSY than in that moment. ;He told me he was "from the city too" and there were "many more degrees of like separation and whatever there" but in rural land NOT SO my good supervisee. So either the dang OTHER therapist got mad I reported she did not address the issue (Which I now think is SMART and a way to stay sane) and I was like, 'Uh is this about that email?" Then he was like yes and how like he got a hold of it and whatever. I kinda (my private persona) wanted to say "OKAY SINCE WE ARE BOTH HOOD RATS why don't you tell me how you really FEEL MAH BROTHA?" only like, I couldn't. Because if we have to move again my husband will die, and I'm just ah, learning why the government WASTES so much money. HE could have been like, 'Listen, you insolent fool, you need to watch what you say about me," and I would have had more respect. I mean... it was a half hour of soft shoeing and me "feeling bad and frustrated for my patient and so I started an email like that was like ,I don't know, over-informative and I'm so sorry." I was NOT gonna cop to like being like, "So I consulted my supervisor and he said I Was Right but I was gonna not do what he said." So yeah. Then I asked him if I needed to apologize to like the "unspecified someone" who was upset because it could have been 3 people so I just sort of sent an email of like "I am so sorry I am ALIVE! OMG, this work politics oh I can't say that word at work but WELL I AM SORRY TO EVERYONE."
I wasn't really humiliated. I did not even care./; Almost dying in Douglas 13 times kinda made me mentally shrug my shoulders and go "Well, this is how it is here." I was not mad.; Bemused.
The stupid person who probably DID rat me out I am sure enjoyed reading it, but she sent nothing in return. If I spend any energy on her at all. it will be forgetting her name infinitely because I can't be bothered for a more elaborate revenge. I mean, if the bit

ch can't be bothered dealing with a serious problem with her homebound patient, why me. She probably has the email up on the "Wall of Hate" but that is about it. I will call her every "B" in the book but her name to infinity. If she ever snaps I might say "Oh gosh sorry you are so forgettable" but like only in a ba
throom area for kicks, and probably not even then.
Psychologists are like the psychopaths of the mental health world I have never trusted one of them. They are always busy psych testing you mentally and like find you deficient and then revealing as a baby they painted poop on the walls like that is ALL FINE TO SAY. If I had a past like that I would take it to the grave. Really
I am never emailing anyone again, ,and I have PMS.
The government sucks because there is endless... stupid team crud you have to do together enough resources but not enough intelligence to USE them appropriately and it is like NOTHING I HAVE EVER SEEN. So meh, l am done for the week and I finished on time even with a few hiccups.
But freaking..... privatize everything. Privatize the dang President.
I mean I get how it works now I can deal with it and it is what it is what it is, and I will expend my energy just being helpful to my patients when possible.
It was an easy fix I mean like, uh, There was some repeat button on. I wound up pocking around in the settings.
Glad to get if OFF MAH CHEST OMG SHOULD TAKE MEDS.
Well, I can be mediocre I guess but it seems like more mental effort choking down my impulses than being good. I will have to practice.
I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS AND ALLL THE FLAVORS YOU CREATE!!!!!!
Anna
But I will one day create the Show, "BROKE WORK IN 60 days.;" It will be a hit.