for those that don't know...I have degenerative bone disorder/disease (among other issues but that's the major one at the moment)
and I'm stuck in a catch 22
I need surgery done but I can't get the surgeries due to covid and I can't get the covid vaccine because I have several autoimmunity disorders and I got the 1st dose back in like june and it made me extremely sick, I knew it would (because the flushot makes me sicker than a dog for weeks), even told my doctor that it would but they insisted it was safe to get the shot....well....they refuse to give me the second dose because the 1st one made me so sick for so long putting my health at risk
so I spend most days heavily medicated, painkillers don't work on me so my doctor has me on 3 medications that just make me so loopy/tired/out of it that I don't care that I'm in so much pain
this past year the degeneration has progressed quite quickly and I'm really not mobile at all anymore
originally it was just both knees but now my back as well, which has always been a bit messed up due to have scoliosis as a kid...so yeah I spend most my days in lala land and unaware of time passing...I really do not know how it's december and that next week is christmas, I swear it was halloween just last week and the week before that it was summer....this entire year is just one giant blur
but enough about that, not much I can do but just one day at a time, some days are slightly better than others
it sucks being 40 and stuck in a body that thinks it's like 200 years old and mummified....
i really need to look into getting on to disability because yeah no income sucks, been stuck in my apt since covid started due to my autoimmune disorders, so for almost 2 years i've had no income, my job fired me but they said I quit so that they didn't have to pay unemployment, (if I quit then why was I applying for fmla and to the companies in house relief funds, or where was my 2 week letter? but it was a he said she said) I did get a little from the pandemic unemployment but my state shut that down a while back, they decided they didn't want the money or whatever...i mean it's a federal program so I don't understand why the state should care but um ok then...
anyways...so yeah it's been a year, well 2 years but this year has been just...ufff...things went downhill and progressed rather quickly...i'm not really mobile at all anymore. anyways enough about that...i'm still here, i'm still trying, one day at a time (even if I do lose track of what day it is or even what week it is)