O.k. I'm back. This part of my life I am very ashamed of and don't condone my actions but I think the Lord taught me some things during this time. The man and I left with the intention to get a quick divorce in Mexico and let everyone cool down. When we got to Mexico we realized it wasn't going to be lawful. We took vows to each other and considered ourselves married. We settled in Texas and got jobs. The man cheated on me and I had come to find out that he was an abusive alcoholic. I called my first husband and wanted to see if we could get back together but he just said he would have to talk to the elders of the church and I realized that marriage was totally over. I was pregnant with my 4th child. The elders of the church contacted me and told me they were going to excommunicate me. I recieved divorce papers stateing that I had abandoned my children and full custody was going to be granted to my 1st husband. I was crying nearly all the time and just waited for the divorce to be final so that this man and I could get legally married. My divorce wasn't finalized until the birth of my 4th child and the man & I headed back to see my children and settled back there. The man could not hold a job because of alcoholism and so I found myself supporting us during my 5th pregnancy. My baby's heart stopped when I was 36 weeks pregnant when I was locked outside of my house in the rain with my 4th child in tow and crying histerically. I knew not to get in my car because I had done that before only to have a crazy drunk man jump behind the wheel and start acting like he was going to puposefully crash us. I had also been standing outside to have the crazy man come at me with the car only to stop inches from me. The car also had plastic taped where windows were supposed to be because of a crazy man punching them out. I had come home from work late because the girlfriend who was nice enough to give me a ride home had to stop at the grocery store, only to find my clothes shredded being dragged into the bedroom and kept up all night with threats of being stabbed with a scissors. After losing my 5th baby the man again says he got saved and is going to change and was o.k. for awhile. I had read this verse about fear 1Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. I finally puposed not to let fear drive my actions and that the next time he treatened me I was going to let him know how it felt to have someone who says they love you act like that. He got drunk again and threatened again so I told him if he hit me I would hit him back. This guy is 6'3" around 200lbs. He hit me and I hit him back and ran to the couch where he put his hands around my neck to choke me but it just didn't work ( I think the Lord's protection) He sobered up and kept looking down at his chest as if he was shocked at how I could stand up to someone built like himself.
He really behaved himself for quite awhile and I had my 6th child. He sarted becoming abusive again shortly after my 6th child was born and I left him for good. I took the spark plug wires out of the car and tossed them in a field and left with, of all things. my 1st husband who had come to pick up the children. He took me to my parents house. My parent and myself finally made up. I don't think I'll go into anymore detail about my 1st husband other than we are on speaking terms but over 50 still doing drugs. I talked calmly with the other man who made another profession of faith and I told him I was glad for him but I could no longer trust him. He moved away and that's the last I heard of him eventhough the judge did grant him visitation rights in the divorce I knew he would never pay even the minimal child support and would therefore not see the kids. I started dating a Christian man that was my father's manager. We got married and had a rough begining. I got custody of all my children which was a bit hard for him. He was also raised extremely strict and was use to a peaceful quiet life and was a bit overly strict with the children. I got pregnant right away with my seventh child. We also had to deal with our own sins that had brought theese two divorcees together. We had moved and he took a job trucking. I think it was a bit of an escape for him but while I was home (way out in the country) with my children, this verse came to mind.Psa 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. This was a time were I really spent a lot of time on my knees and in the word. I saw the extent of my condemnation before the Lord but also the vastness of His mercy. I saw myself worthy of the death sentence but I also saw as the woman who was caught in adultry the verdict was lifted by the mercy of the Lord.
Joh 8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
Joh 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
I look back at the reasons I went through the time of being in the situations I have been in as a time of learning. Learning not to be self righteous
Isa 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
learning not to fear anything but God.
Pro 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
Learning how Great the Fathers love toward us. How vast beyond all measure. That he should give His only son to make a wretch His treasure.
The Lord has blessed me with a God fearing man now for 17 years, 6 healthy children and 6 grandchildren. Thank you Lord!
) Maybe Lisa will merge the threads since the topic is the same? 
