So when a rabbit and a bear are pooping in the woods does the bear ask the rabbit "Does poop stick to your fur?"
The Answer is a Question
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Don't you know rabbits do also and this one responded, "No, why do you ask?"
Don't rabbits know any better than to shoot the sh-
-t with bears?
(I saw Delirious, too, but Ima let you finish the joke.
)
-t with bears? (I saw Delirious, too, but Ima let you finish the joke.
)
So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his .... -- isn't that a great punchline and confirmation of your question?!?!?! 
Do you think this is one of the reasons our economy is a mess?
Stella Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. She took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.
Here are the Stellas for 2011
* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burgled by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi
and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th place in the Stellas when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the .... by his next door neighbour's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the .... bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth. Even though Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway first place Stella Award winner was: Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owners manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
Stella Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. She took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.
Here are the Stellas for 2011
* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burgled by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi
and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th place in the Stellas when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the .... by his next door neighbour's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the .... bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth. Even though Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway first place Stella Award winner was: Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owners manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
Don't you think between politicians, lawyers, bankers and general scumbags there's enough blame to go around?
(Btw, Stella Liebeck was a passenger who opened her coffee between her thighs while she and the driver were parked and received third-degree burns requiring skin grafts for her trouble. The pictures of her injuries are a real horror show. Stella had initially asked McDonald's for just the money to cover the medical bills but McDonald's, who'd previously ignored several other incidents of dangerously hot coffee and made no effort to change their policy to reduce it by 10 degrees, made Stella take her case to court where a jury awarded Stella punitive damages of 2.7 million [which was reduced in a privately-negotiated settlement] over and above her claims. The real villains in the case were McDonald's and the scumbag media who made every effort to spin the suit as frivolous. There's a really good HBO documentary "Hot Coffee" about the case.)
(Btw, Stella Liebeck was a passenger who opened her coffee between her thighs while she and the driver were parked and received third-degree burns requiring skin grafts for her trouble. The pictures of her injuries are a real horror show. Stella had initially asked McDonald's for just the money to cover the medical bills but McDonald's, who'd previously ignored several other incidents of dangerously hot coffee and made no effort to change their policy to reduce it by 10 degrees, made Stella take her case to court where a jury awarded Stella punitive damages of 2.7 million [which was reduced in a privately-negotiated settlement] over and above her claims. The real villains in the case were McDonald's and the scumbag media who made every effort to spin the suit as frivolous. There's a really good HBO documentary "Hot Coffee" about the case.)
Do you think America is stupider than when we went to school in the 60s and 70s?
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