The Joke Tread!
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Steven Wright
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Innocent Look
A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual.
The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures hell crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 3 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.
So, youve been out drinking again!! What makes you say that? He asks as he puts on an innocent look. The bar called, you left your wheelchair there again.
A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual.
The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures hell crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 3 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.
So, youve been out drinking again!! What makes you say that? He asks as he puts on an innocent look. The bar called, you left your wheelchair there again.
A man buys a pet parrot, but the bird behaves horribly. It bites, screams obscenities, and tears up anything it can get its beak on. The man tries covering the birds cage, but that does nothing to hush it. He tries wearing gloves, but the bird continues to bite. He tries to punish the bird by shoving its cage into the corner, but the bad behavior only gets worse. Finally, at his wits end, he grabs the parrot and stuffs it into the freezer. Feeling guilty, he takes the bird back out a moment later. The bird is quiet for a minute and then says, "I'm terribly sorry I was so awful to you, and I promise to behave from now on. But can I ask you one question?"
The man says, "Sure."
The parrot asked, "What did that turkey do?"
The man says, "Sure."
The parrot asked, "What did that turkey do?"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Better watch out or I'll blow your nuts off.
8-o
Better watch out or I'll blow your nuts off.
8-o
AND - THE FUNNIEST OF ALL!!!
I think everyone but Pop noticed that this is the Joke Tread instead of the Joke Thread, LOL!!!!!!
Forgive me honey
I think everyone but Pop noticed that this is the Joke Tread instead of the Joke Thread, LOL!!!!!!
Forgive me honey
AND - THE FUNNIEST OF ALL!!!
I think everyone but Pop noticed that this is the Joke Tread instead of the Joke Thread, LOL!!!!!!
Forgive me honey
LOL. I have read every joke in this t(h)read, and never noticed. I think I laughed at your post more than most!
I also read all the jokes here and I did notice..but went along with it as I thought it was an intentional joke....
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