The Joke Tread!
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The husband said to his wife, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She responded: "That's a good idea.. You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart!"
(I hope that didn't cross the line!)
She responded: "That's a good idea.. You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart!"
(I hope that didn't cross the line!)
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my Brother-in-Law."
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my Brother-in-Law."
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?
Because she ran away from the ball.....................
Because she ran away from the ball.....................
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked,
Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here.
There was a big sign posted. No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked,
Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here.
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the bejesus out of the dogs!
Because it scares the bejesus out of the dogs!
what do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!
A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!
Why dont you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because theyre really good at it.
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