Hey. Sorry, I have not been around. I am not sure why life has to be the way it is but I handle whatever comes my way.
I will be leaving for Tennessee tomorrow morning and am unsure when I will be back. I am driving by myself because I have had to plan Ken's funeral and it is supposed to be Saturday. I am sorry to shock everyone. I do not know any other way.
You remember how Ken's shoulder and neck had been bothering him and how he would not go to the doctor? The week before last, Ken did not act like he was feeling good and had a headache for 3 days. Nothing really bad. He just said it was a headache that wouldn't go away. Saturday (April 13), he wanted to go out on the motorcycle. I rarely ever say no to him but I just had a feeling we should not go. I even asked him not to go, which I had never done.
He wanted to go to the Moose Lodge to eat supper so we started out. His driving scared me to death and when I asked him what was wrong, he said he was seeing things. We got to the side and I took over and drove him to the ER. I knew there was something seriously wrong.
They thought it was his glucose which was 423 when we got there. But the more tests they ran, the more they found. I am not sure how Ken did not know there was anything wrong with him. As it turned out, on Saturday he went from wanting to ride his motorcycle to being told he did not have long to live.
He had a brain bleed, a blood clot in his lung, a mass in his lung that was pressing against his heart, and what they suspected was liver cancer that had metastasized all over him. Tuesday morning he had a massive stroke (April 16th) and this is when I felt as though I lost Ken. He was no longer responsive. He passed away Friday morning.
The first time we met, he told me he was looking for a good woman who would love him for the way he was and would hold his hand when he died. I stayed with him and was so grateful that I was there and I was holding his hand.
On top of everything else, his father called me the day before he died and said I would have to pay for Ken's burial. That was the second shock I had that week. I have only one choice. I have to do right by Ken. He wanted me to have what little he had but without a will, I told him it would go to his daughter. He wanted to get married so there would not be any problems. I am not sure what would have happened if he had lived a little longer. If his daughter does what she says she will do, I will be able to sell his truck, trailer, camper, and motorcycles. But it does not matter to me. I will still carry out Ken's last wishes no matter what happens.
With everything that has been going on, you know I have been waiting a year and a half to settle my dad's estate. They called this week and I had to go downtown and handle that. The quote he gave me was $1800 and maybe a
little more. To file my father's estate, I had to pay them $5243.40. Tally up another shock for me. But thank goodness that stress is over.
I am not sure why things have happened the way they have and it is not for me to question. The only thing I can think of is Ken showed me how to live and I helped him pass this world with as much love as someone could have given him. I have called so many of his friends on his contact list on his phone. I had no idea Ken had told so many about me and told them how happy he was. I cannot tell you how that makes me feel. I feel good.
Well, now you know why I have not been around. I am sorry to have to tell you what has happened but I wanted you to know what I had been going through. I just ask now for you to give me good thoughts for a safe trip tomorrow. I am planning on coming back first of next week but I have taken a lot of extra stuff just in case I need to calm down and relax when all this is over. It is a wonderful place to relax. I look forward to sitting on the Duck River and clearing my head. Mrs. Rochelle, (where he parked his camper) has told me she will have her apartment that we have stayed in before ready and I can stay as long as I want. It is absolutely beautiful there. I will try to post some pics if I can get on her internet.
Sorry for the long post and thank you for listening to me. There has got to be a category on ECF for the longest posts and I would definitely be #1.
Hugs to you all.
I’m not sure I want to go downstairs now 
Hope the day goes fast.
