- Status
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his .... cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and .... and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his .... cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and .... and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Lol How you managed to make it through that far is incredible! Oh man, migraines started kicking in, words started to skip and all!
WIFE FROM HELL
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The man says, 'The car was on cruise control.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
The wife says,
'Only when he's been drinking.!!'
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The man says, 'The car was on cruise control.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
The wife says,
'Only when he's been drinking.!!'
Subject: Sex and Good English
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is a powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is a powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant , about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
(folks, your gonna luv this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
Have a great day. . .
Love, Froggy
Funny frog. I get mine in emails from friends. Not all of them are great. I don't know where they get them, maybe from friends too.
7 degrees of Blonde
FIRST
DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband asked, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know
if the coast is clear.'
SECOND
DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks
in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD
DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH
DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.'
FIFTH
DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
SIXTH
DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'
SEVENTH
DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at
once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast
the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was
the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!'
FIRST
DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband asked, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know
if the coast is clear.'
SECOND
DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks
in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD
DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH
DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.'
FIFTH
DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
SIXTH
DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'
SEVENTH
DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at
once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast
the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was
the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!'
ok so the night that WW posted her long story I didn't have time/feel like reading something that long so I had skipped this thread til now.
lots of funny stuff but these....
all get an especially big ....
lots of funny stuff but these....
Ok I promised I would share this story here. I told this a while back in another part of the forum, so some may have seen a short version of it already. First off a little about me... I'm far from normal, well maybe it's more like unconventional and quirky, not to mention a tad bit clumsy. I'm always messing around with things and trying to find an easier way to do things. This normally gets me into some kind of mess. I clean up a lot of messes. Thankfully I have never seriously injured myself or anyone else, nor have I ever prefaced anything with "HEY ya'll watch this", though I probably should have. And most importantly, I talk a lot, or in the case write a lot so this is quite long.
For those not familiar with the "Taryn spin", it is used when refilling cartomizers. You put the drops in, then put the carto batt side down in one of those velvet battery bags you get and never use for your batteries, then spin it around really fast in a helicopter spin. This forces the juice down into the batting so you can get more juice in your cartos when refilling. But this story is about cleaning cartomizers, not refilling LOL
When I first started using cartomizers I ordered a bunch of sample packs of different flavors to try out. I had like 30 different flavors and maybe 60 total cartomizers. I would use a carto and try the flavor, then refill it a couple time with a flavor that mixed with it and after that if I hadn't managed to scorch the carto I would throw it in a baggie to be cleaned later. Being lazy as I am, the cleaning part took a while before I finally got around to it. When I looked into the dirty carto baggie, there were 40 cartos in there. Well remember I'm lazy and I knew that cleaning all those one by one was not something I was going to do and there was no way I was throwing them out. First thing I do when I start a carto is to remove the white end cap and silicone ring because I use a 801 soft tip over the mouth piece, so at least I didn't have to remove all those when it came time for cleaning. After some thought I got the brilliant idea to sit all 40 cartos on their battery ends on my desk then bundle them together with a rubber band. So far so good, that part worked like a charm. Next I set them in a strainer and used the spray hose from the kitchen sink to run hot water through them from the open end letting it drain out the battery end. Again so far so good. After that I put boiling water in a bowl and set the strainer down in the bowl and let them soak for a few minutes that way, then I dunked them up and down several times to work the boiling water through them. Everything was going great! We I turned the whole bundle upside down in the strainer and let them drain. Of course they don't really drain and I can't let them sit soaking wet that way. hmmmmm I'm not about to blow these out one at a time. First off even I don't have that much hot air and second, you got it, I'm lazy and that would be too much work. At this point I get my next bright idea which was to put a wad of paper towels in the bottom of a plastic bag like you get newspapers in. Then I dropped the whole bundle of cartomizers into the bag open end down. If the Taryn spin can get the juice in then a spin can get the water out. Ok let me ask this... do you know how much 40 cartomizers bundled together with a rubber band and soaked with water weighs? Neither do I but let me tell you it's not light. I wrap the end of the bag around my hand and proceed to do the Taryn spin. They were so heavy my arm hurt for two days after this LOL. Weeeee that worked really well, got out the water and unfortunately some juice that was still in the cartos. So I put them back in the strainer and pour boiling filter water through them for a final rinse. I should have know that things were going too good, nothing ever goes this easily for me. Again I let them sit and drain the excess water into the sink, then more paper towels, into the plastic bag, topped with the very heavy bundle of soppy wet cartomizers and the Taryn spin. All went really well until that last spin when the bottom of the bag split open and my bundle of 40 cartos went flying up in the air. My first thought was which kitchen window was about to get broken, however before that thought was complete the rubber band came off and the bundle broke apart in mid air. 40 very colorful, very clean cartos came raining down ALL over the kitchen. My 3 cats thought it was Christmas and Santa had brought them new toys. About the same time the bag was splitting open I must have screamed which brought hubby running to find me on the floor on my hands and knees frantically picking up cartos and desperately trying to keep the cats from knocking them around any further. 2 went under the stove and 1 under the fridge, but we managed to find the other 37. Moral of this story... always double bag
all get an especially big ....
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light!
LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
11. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
12. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
13. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
14. Procrastinate Now!
15. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
16. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
17. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!
LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
9. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
11. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
12. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
13. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
14. Procrastinate Now!
15. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
16. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
17. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!
Ha ha ha! I don't know which of the above cause my eyes to tear so much. Here's one I got from a friend. An old woman of eighty was up in front of the judge accused of theft. The Judge asked her. What did you steal? The old woman said a can of pears. The judge ask why did you steal the pears? The old woman replied, because I was hungry. The judge asked How many pears were in the can? The woman said six. The judge said, I will sentence you to six days in jail, for each pear that was in the can. The husband jumped up and said Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas.
Southern Football
Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different from up North. For those who might be planning a trip in the South, here are some helpful hints:
Women's Accessories:
North: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
South: Louis Vuitton duffell with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara and a fifth of bourbon. Money not neccessary-that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Campus Decor:
North: Statues of founding fathers.
South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
North: Also a physics major.
South: Also Miss America.
Heros:
North: Rudy Guliani.
South: Archie and Peyton Manning.
Getting Tickets:
North: Five days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickes.
South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After Thursday Night Game:
North: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game because they have classes on Friday.
South: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
South: 30-foot cusom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking, accompanied by live performance of the "Dave Mattheews Band", who comes over during breaks and ask for a hit off the bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
North: You ask, "where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
South: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is played:
North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
South: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
North: Nothing changes.
South: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (male):
North: "Nice play."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbeetch-tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (femlae):
North: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbeetch-tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
North: Neutral and paid.
South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
South: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next weeks game.
Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern Football!
Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different from up North. For those who might be planning a trip in the South, here are some helpful hints:
Women's Accessories:
North: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
South: Louis Vuitton duffell with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara and a fifth of bourbon. Money not neccessary-that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size:
North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Campus Decor:
North: Statues of founding fathers.
South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
North: Also a physics major.
South: Also Miss America.
Heros:
North: Rudy Guliani.
South: Archie and Peyton Manning.
Getting Tickets:
North: Five days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickes.
South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After Thursday Night Game:
North: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game because they have classes on Friday.
South: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
South: 30-foot cusom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking, accompanied by live performance of the "Dave Mattheews Band", who comes over during breaks and ask for a hit off the bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
North: You ask, "where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
South: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is played:
North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
South: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
North: Nothing changes.
South: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (male):
North: "Nice play."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbeetch-tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (femlae):
North: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbeetch-tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
North: Neutral and paid.
South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
South: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next weeks game.
Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern Football!
OMG Tina, what makes that so funny is it's true!! Even High School football in Texas is a religion. You have not lived until you have gone to a game at A&M, especially if they are playing UT LOL. When my daughter was little, because of the way A&M does their logo, she called it ATM. Hmmm guess she was born to be an Aggie after that LOL. She's transfering there in the fall and entering their vet program.
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