unsupportive spouses..

[SammyT]

We're here for ya man. I made the mistake of telling my wife that it was going to be soo much cheaper. I had to sit down with her and explain that it's not about the money. When it comes to vaping it seems I am constantly wanting to try something new, and therefore spending more, but I doubt if I added it up it would be more than cigs. My advice to you would be to vape when she smokes and try to vape less when she is not smoking. It would seem that is a big part of the problem. The perfect thing for you two would be to BOTH vape. It's hard when a spouse is unsupportive of vaping, not that mine is not, but I get a little obsessive about it sometimes and she hates that. As for the selfish thing, idk, I think that this is a fairly typical reaction of and addict when a fellow addict quits.


-Sam

 

[bassworm]

in the same breath she proceeds to tell me she thinks my nic intake is to high because I can vap "when ever".

been there, done that. I said something to the effect of "Well, your nicotine intake can be just as high as mine if you would just try it for a day or 2!"

 

[Detroit]

We're here for ya man. I made the mistake of telling my wife that it was going to be soo much cheaper. I had to sit down with her and explain that it's not about the money. When it comes to vaping it seems I am constantly wanting to try something new, and therefore spending more, but I doubt if I added it up it would be more than cigs. My advice to you would be to vape when she smokes and try to vape less when she is not smoking. It would seem that is a big part of the problem. The perfect thing for you two would be to BOTH vape. It's hard when a spouse is unsupportive of vaping, not that mine is not, but I get a little obsessive about it sometimes and she hates that. As for the selfish thing, idk, I think that this is a fairly typical reaction of and addict when a fellow addict quits.


-Sam

yeah i made that same mistake then i figured out how many flavors and accessorys there are lol blew that one out the window! but she got over it


bassworm thats funny.

can we actully get to much nic by using these too much? how much is to much? lol dumb noob question sorry

 

[BluSwatch]

Hey Detroit - yeah, you can get too much. It will make you feel jittery, heart race, feel nauseated ..... sort of like when you get too much caffeine, or take "No-Doz" .... if you ever have. It will go away with a bit of a rest on the vapo.

 

[Shel]

I'm no relationship expert but it seems she's concerned/worried about the money - a reasonable concern.

Wait a minute... seriously?!?

I've heard that chemo is rather pricey, as well!

How can ANYONE complain about the expense of vaping, compared to the health damage AND cost of smoking?

Sorry... your fiance should be THRILLED that you're trying to quit!

 

[BluSwatch]

I think alot of people see the "start up" costs, and say what the heck?? I have to admit with getting PVs, juice samples where you may like 2 out of 10, cartos, clearos, tanks, ....... it can be alot right off the bat.

 

[Detroit]

yeah it was just the inital start she was mad about now that im only buyin juice, for the most part anyway. and shes doin a little vapin herself, not replacin her smokes but maybe some day.

 

[dspin]

anyone have trouble with your spouse being un-supportive? my feiance(spell check) seemed happy for me at first...
then she started offering me real cigs even though i told her several times i didnt want any. then i bought my ego-t and she started to get a slight additude about it "why do you need that one whats wrong with the one you got at the gas station!?" ok so she got over that... now shes been tellin me the last few days "you should have extra money with this smoking thing so go buy this,go buy that" and she gets mad when i say "it takes time to save money, i have to gather all my spare parts and such"

my question is... WHY CANT THEY BE HAPPY WERE NOT SMOKING??!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


sorry about this.. i just needed to vent because i feel like im gonna blow up on her right now, thank god she went to bed already or i probably would have...

anyone eles have somthing similer happen? any luck trying to explane or get her/him off your back about it?

she just makes it so frustrating for me and i dont even think she relizes what shes doing.

thanks for any comments.

Time to start chain snapping. If she gets mad now and tells you what to do, what do you think is going to happen when you get married. If she's telling you what to do now it only gets worse. The only reason she is doing that is because YOU allow it.

 

[Morgythekilla]

Time to start chain snapping. If she gets mad now and tells you what to do, what do you think is going to happen when you get married. If she's telling you what to do now it only gets worse. The only reason she is doing that is because YOU allow it.

Says the terminator...

 

[LadyCC]

My husband came to me 6 months ago and brought up the idea of the E-cig method of quitting analogs. I had been trying to get him to quit with me for YEARS using patches or meds....anything...he did NOT want to stop smoking...I am still not allowed to phrase it like that...lol. He prefers to think of it as switching brands...a new brand with yummy coffee and dessert flavors....maybe your lady is of this mentality...maybe the idea of 'QUITTING' makes her anxious...nobody likes to walk away from an addiction...to be honest...we still have an un-opened pack of analogs sitting in our freezer, never been touched...ya know why?...THEY TASTE NASTY!...eventually I believe your lady will decide this for herself also...

Oh yeah..one more thing...do NOT cram the idea of vaping down her throat...it's like religion...ya gotta come to it on your own...
Good luck to both of you and hope it all works out!
Blessings!

 

[MegaBee]

My husband came to me 6 months ago and brought up the idea of the E-cig method of quitting analogs. I had been trying to get him to quit with me for YEARS using patches or meds....anything...he did NOT want to stop smoking...I am still not allowed to phrase it like that...lol. He prefers to think of it as switching brands...a new brand with yummy coffee and dessert flavors....maybe your lady is of this mentality...maybe the idea of 'QUITTING' makes her anxious...nobody likes to walk away from an addiction...to be honest...we still have an un-opened pack of analogs sitting in our freezer, never been touched...ya know why?...THEY TASTE NASTY!...eventually I believe your lady will decide this for herself also...

Oh yeah..one more thing...do NOT cram the idea of vaping down her throat...it's like religion...ya gotta come to it on your own...
Good luck to both of you and hope it all works out!
Blessings!

Awesome advice CC


Last cigarette 16th October, 2011. Forever grateful for the support and advice from ECF.

 

[zara1269]

Yeah the initial cost of these things is more expensive than you want it to be but after awhile you find what works and the cost tapers off. I looked at my signature the other day and saw that I saved over $2,000 on cigarettes and I know that I have not spent anywhere near that in the last year on vaping. I'd doubt to say I spent over a $1,000. If you don't go crazy and get enticed to buy new kits and mods and try every single juice on the market I'd say that you will see a savings but as someone mentined before the cost of cancer and heart disease is way more expensive. You really can't put a price tag on quality of life.

I think the problem that people have with their partners quitting especially when both partners are smokers is the fear of change. What's going to happen if my partner quits and I can't? Will they still find me attrative when I smell of smoke? Most human beings have an inherent fear of change and that's why many smokers are reluctant to try vaping.

People also fear failure. What if I can't quit smoking using E-Cigs when others have been so succesful doing it?

Those two things can make it very scary to try vaping.

I would give the advice that if your partner doesn't want to vape don't pressure them. Just continue on with it and they will either get used to you doing it or see the fantastic changes it creates in you by not smoking that they will be tempted to try it too but with no pressure.

 

[ad356]

Since you said she offered you real cigs, I'm inferring that she's a smoker. If so, I believe you're going to have to get her into vaping for this to work out pleasantly. If two smokers don't quit together, the one that keeps smoking always feels scolded, even if the person who's quitting is supportive.

Is there a flavor or dessert that she really likes? Might try getting some juice that she can't resist to get her interested and make her feel included.

i could not agree with this MORE. i was vaping and my wife was still smoking. we were at constant battle with each other. in order for it to work both partners NEED TO GET off the cigarettes. i was actually angry at her when she would go out for a cigarette. i knew that i was being controlling but i didnt care. when someone you love continues to do something destructive, it is difficult to put up with it. especailly when you know that there are better ways to get that nicotine fix. it also doesnt help your own efforts, it makes the urge to smoke much much greater. if you have been married to a smoker for 7 years and been a couple for 10 smoking becomes part of the relationship. we would share cigarettes, that kind of thing. it makes it more difficult when one person leaves cigarettes behind and the other does not.

i insisted i wanted cigarettes OUT of OUR house. i wanted them gone, she finally gave them away last week. now i told her i that i dont want her to smoke around me, actaully i dont even want to know if she smokes at all. i know she still has the ocasional cigarette and im afraid she will one day relapse. i just want her off the damn cigarettes. i think i also told her that if she ever gets lung cancer from continued smoking i dont want to know about it. i think of smoking as a slow suicide. its a selfish act (smoking) and if she dies from it she can die from it alone. it is her choice but dont expect much sympathy from me.

as i said i THINK she has quit but im not sure. she knows how i feel so she wont be honest anyways

 

[rabernet]

Ha - I guess I sort of broke the 'ol boyfriend in when I got into ball pythons. My money, I'll get what I want. He's never asked what I've spent on my collection, and I don't tell him.

Same thing with the vaping. He doesn't ask what I'm spending on it, and I'm not volunteering it. I will say that mods are much more affordable than some of my snakes.

Just like with my snakes, I just let him create his own pace. He doesn't care about reptiles like I do, but he has never once tried to tell me I couldn't add another critter to my collection. He knows that I'm responsible for the care and feeding of them.

He DOES enjoy going to reptile shows and hanging out with the friends we've made as a result of this crazy hobby, and I'm hoping that he'll do the same with vaping.

Now, he is vaping an Ego-C kit that I got him. He just cares that it works reliably and it's menthol. He has no interest in mods, or anything that takes time or finagling. We get home, I take his Ego that he's been using all day and charge the battery and check the amount of menthol he has in his tank and top off as needed. As far as he's concerned, it works and it tastes good, so he's good to go.

 

[cags]

i could not agree with this MORE. i was vaping and my wife was still smoking. we were at constant battle with each other. in order for it to work both partners NEED TO GET off the cigarettes. i was actually angry at her when she would go out for a cigarette. i knew that i was being controlling but i didnt care. when someone you love continues to do something destructive, it is difficult to put up with it. especailly when you know that there are better ways to get that nicotine fix. it also doesnt help your own efforts, it makes the urge to smoke much much greater. if you have been married to a smoker for 7 years and been a couple for 10 smoking becomes part of the relationship. we would share cigarettes, that kind of thing. it makes it more difficult when one person leaves cigarettes behind and the other does not.

i insisted i wanted cigarettes OUT of OUR house. i wanted them gone, she finally gave them away last week. now i told her i that i dont want her to smoke around me, actaully i dont even want to know if she smokes at all. i know she still has the ocasional cigarette and im afraid she will one day relapse. i just want her off the damn cigarettes. i think i also told her that if she ever gets lung cancer from continued smoking i dont want to know about it. i think of smoking as a slow suicide. its a selfish act (smoking) and if she dies from it she can die from it alone. it is her choice but dont expect much sympathy from me.

as i said i THINK she has quit but im not sure. she knows how i feel so she wont be honest anyways

whew! I have so much to say about this. but I'll try to keep it short.

I feel very sorry for your poor wife.

if someone really wants to break a habit (smoking, drinking, eating too much) they have to be strong enough to quit despite what other people around them are doing.

if I was told I could no longer smoke in OUR house, I would laugh

you know, just because you quit smoking doesn't mean you won't get lung or some other cancer.

I will never understand ex-smokers who are so intolerent of smokers. how soon they forget the persecution.............

 

[uba egar320]

This threads not gonna get all crazy is it?

 

[cags]

This threads not gonna get all crazy is it?

I edited my last post - I don't want to be the one who makes the thread go crazy! hope it's better now

 

[uba egar320]

Good job. I'm not a fan of the post you quoted either. But, leave out the suggested...well, you know. Or I'll get ya lol.

Carry on.

 

[Detroit]

i geuss i cant judge smokers... i smoked.. i loved it.. now i love vaping more.. smokers do not bother me. me and my girl still "smoke" together hers is just a cig and mines a vape. it really is no big deal to me. the main reason i want her to join me is just because all the fun stuff i think we could have alot of fun together, but if she wants to smoke im not gonna stop her or tell her when/where she can smoke. i will say she gets jeallous that i can vape in the store,resturaunt and such and she cant lol she tends to steal my ego-t when were out, but ive been grabbing hers or reminding her to grab hers before we head out on the town.

 

[DC2]

How/why woman are like that? Woman naturally have protective instincts, comes from child bearing, or the ability to bear a child. Woman will defend to the death their stance on an issue, or they will protect themselves. When she yells, she is "protecting" herself, protecting her security or her control of her life. But don't forget that she will protect her family too, (you), when there is a need. Protecting can be thought of as defending in your situation, she may be defending her stance on her opinion on how her lifestyle is going, ie; not quitting smoking. She may also be wondering if you think you are "better" then her for quitting smoking, and she is protecting her heart by putting you down about it. Sucks doesn't it? Gotta get her vapin.

HOLY CRAP!! Thank you for that.
That makes a lot of sense, and explains so many things that seem to make no sense.

I've never pretended to understand women, I've just basically learned how to get along with them.
Now for the first time I feel like I might have a chance at some understanding too!