What would you do?

[wvducklady]

A year, but in that year he was allowed to smoke in the house. We got a new landlord, no smoking in the house, & so this started. And we just signed a new one. So another full year. He's being cool about it now. Said i might buy a cheapy mod just to place inside when the weather is crappy, & he can do what he wants. vape it, or leave it. Not takin the bs anymore. He can accept it, or he can get out. I'm done dealing with the childish attitude, & him thinking everything in life has to be fair to him. I am 22 years old, going on 23 the 29th of this month. I don't have time to raise a 24 year old child. I hate being backed into a corner, & being told this is how things are going to work. No, i got permission, there's no rules against it in the lease, it says i can vape. So no. Thank you all for the advice, & backbone! Haven't had one of those in a long time. I'm someone who doesn't like confrontation. I hate it. But i'm sick of being walked on like a floor mat.

Good for you! I understand what it is like to be walked over top of. My boyfriend who I have been with for almost 9 years made me stop being so nice to eveyone. About 7 years ago he told me "I understand you are a super nice person and you do not want to hurt someones feelings, but you cannot be nice to everyone and back into a corner to avoid conflict, because there are some people that you cannot be nice to because they will take advantage of you snd walk all over you." I have always remembered that, because that was the point that I stopped going along with things I didnt want to do to avoid people getting mad at me. Sometimes you just cannot accept certain things! I am glad that you are developing a back bone! Good for you! I do not know you but I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! Yay you!

 

[xibxang]

If your landlord tell's you smoking is not allowed in the house, but you ask about vaping, & they say it's perfectly fine, & your room mate feels it's unfair, & says you can't vape in the house if he can't smoke. What would you do?

Ask them to grow up. They're being very immature.

 

[KiMB00P]

Vaping does not equal smoking. So it isn't unfair. However, if your roommate is really that butthurt over it, tell him to start vaping!

 

[Mortizma]

YES mortzima!! THIS!! ^^^^ *clap clap clap* go girl!

Haha thank you MissBlue!! I'm gonna work this new backbone haha

 

[Mortizma]

Good for you! I understand what it is like to be walked over top of. My boyfriend who I have been with for almost 9 years made me stop being so nice to eveyone. About 7 years ago he told me "I understand you are a super nice person and you do not want to hurt someones feelings, but you cannot be nice to everyone and back into a corner to avoid conflict, because there are some people that you cannot be nice to because they will take advantage of you snd walk all over you." I have always remembered that, because that was the point that I stopped going along with things I didnt want to do to avoid people getting mad at me. Sometimes you just cannot accept certain things! I am glad that you are developing a back bone! Good for you! I do not know you but I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! Yay you!

My boyfriend has actually been telling me the exact same thing! He keeps fearing for me, because he's afraid i'm going to be used, & stepped on. It's just confusing learning how to build up a back bone after almost everyone in my life other then a handful of people, have been bringing me down, & smashing any backbone i had. But i'm starting to realize how to do it, & not be walked on. To be honest it's a great feeling, i'm starting not to feel so pinned down. If that makes sense. Thank you so much!

 

[MissBlue]

YES AGAIN mortizma! AND wvducklady.

you can STILL be a very nice person, who dislilkes and avoids conflict. 'Being nice' does not equal 'being a doormat'.

You can be nice, AND have boundaries, and stand firm on what is, and is NOT acceptable behavior, and have standards for how people treat you. That does not make you 'not nice' - it makes you an assertive person who stands up for him/herself.

way to go!

 

[Jman8]

I agree about the smoking indoors; I started taking it outdoors to spare my son's lungs, but even after he grew up and left home, I still kept it outdoors -- of MY OWN home -- because I began to like NOT living in something that reeked like an ashtray, and not having clothes that smelled that way all the time. Once that stench settles in, you could paint, change the carpet, etc, and the smell would still linger. I think you'd probably have to rip out all the sheetrock to get rid of it, and even that isn't a guarantee.

Andria

There's only about 5 times I can hear this point being made before I choose to refute it. If smoking lingers forever, then all the places that used to allow smoking (which was pretty much everywhere) ought to stink today like an ashtray. As I'm fairly certain even ex-smokers couldn't tell if place allowed it or didn't in last 50 years, I'm thinking this is just the ex-smoking nazi talk.

It seriously takes months at most, and not years to get rid of smoke from an indoors area. If going with residue of the micro degree, then how is this not different from ANTZ rhetoric?

 

[Amraann]

We have a tuxedo too; "Tuxie", but I usually call her "Fatli Catli" -- my husband seems to have the idea that feeding her "hooman food" shows his love. She's just shy of 20 lbs her fat self. Hubby says "she's not fat! she's full grown!" to which I reply, if she grows anymore, she's going to resemble a black pumpkin! But everytime we're both in the kitchen? Here comes Tuxie, convinced it's time for food again.

Andria

LOLOL MeepBoop loves people food!
He will sneak up on you and try to steal whatever food is on your plate.
He thinks he is a leapard.

Sorry for going OT on the thread

 

[MissBlue]

i must agree with Jman8 that it is possible to completely eradicate smoke smell, even in a house where we smoked previously, I did it.

when i quit, i did a major, weeks-long deep cleaning project in here, and i managed to get it clean-smelling and smoke free.

I used "TSP", a professional painters' cleaning product used specifically for smoke-mitigation and soot removal after house fires. I micro-cleaned, and i mean MICRO - in addition to the obvious (carpets, bedding, mattresses, linens, curtains, clothing, windows, walls, floors, ceilings (and ceiling fans) and furniture), i went down to the level of - yes, with Q-tips - inside the heating vents, in the cracks of the baseboards, woodwork, and floorboards, every tiny channel around the windows, inside the air conditioner and refrigerator heating and colling units, the framework of the drop-ceiling around the ceiling tiles - i mean everywhere. it's VERY intensive and takes a lot of time - but it can be done.

 

[Mortizma]

LOLOL MeepBoop loves people food!
He will sneak up on you and try to steal whatever food is on your plate.
He thinks he is a leapard.

Sorry for going OT on the thread

No reason to be sorry! That's adorable haha!

 

[Mortizma]

i must agree with Jman8 that it is possible to completely eradicate smoke smell, even in a house where we smoked previously, I did it.

when i quit, i did a major, weeks-long deep cleaning project in here, and i managed to get it clean-smelling and smoke free.

I used "TSP", a professional painters' cleaning product used specifically for smoke-mitigation and soot removal after house fires. I micro-cleaned, and i mean MICRO - in addition to the obvious (carpets, bedding, mattresses, linens, curtains, clothing, windows, walls, floors, ceilings (and ceiling fans) and furniture), i went down to the level of - yes, with Q-tips - inside the heating vents, in the cracks of the baseboards, woodwork, and floorboards, every tiny channel around the windows, inside the air conditioner and refrigerator heating and colling units, the framework of the drop-ceiling around the ceiling tiles - i mean everywhere. it's VERY intensive and takes a lot of time - but it can be done.

Goodness that is a LOT of work O-O! How did you not run out of energy? XD

 

[optsmk]

If your landlord tell's you smoking is not allowed in the house, but you ask about vaping, & they say it's perfectly fine, & your room mate feels it's unfair, & says you can't vape in the house if he can't smoke. What would you do?

It looks like you only have one of two choices.

A. Kick his ... and tell him to ....
Or
B. Move out.

 

[nicetucu]

Who wants to smoke inside these days anyways. Even if was allowed it stinks up EVERYTHING!

Hey I used to do it years ago, but the last 10 years of being a smoker I did not. My place smelled like a giant ashtray.

Your roommate sounds immature. Hell I would love to drive 120 miles an hour like the Autobahn, but can't do this in the country I live in lol.

 

[Jman8]

Who wants to smoke inside these days anyways. Even if was allowed it stinks up EVERYTHING!

If vaping didn't exist, I would want to smoke inside. Because vaping is allowed indoors (in most places where I live), I don't make much of an issue about it. But a designated space indoors I think is reasonable, relatively speaking. Would actually be more reasonable to allow for it in other spaces and not concentrate the perceived stench to one area, but I realize that ship has sailed and going back to what was once the overwhelming norm is now verbotten.

 

[runitskat]

Thanks!!! That is MeepBoop.He is a manx and spoiled rotton. He totally rules our house. That was when he was just a baby, he weighs about 20 lbs now!

Sounds just like Kip although he's only about 16lbs. He for sure rules the house.

 

[wvducklady]

My boyfriend has actually been telling me the exact same thing! He keeps fearing for me, because he's afraid i'm going to be used, & stepped on. It's just confusing learning how to build up a back bone after almost everyone in my life other then a handful of people, have been bringing me down, & smashing any backbone i had. But i'm starting to realize how to do it, & not be walked on. To be honest it's a great feeling, i'm starting not to feel so pinned down. If that makes sense. Thank you so much!

You are welcome!
Yes, that makes sense I understand what you mean It is hard, but I promise it gets easier lol

 

[AndriaD]

There's only about 5 times I can hear this point being made before I choose to refute it. If smoking lingers forever, then all the places that used to allow smoking (which was pretty much everywhere) ought to stink today like an ashtray. As I'm fairly certain even ex-smokers couldn't tell if place allowed it or didn't in last 50 years, I'm thinking this is just the ex-smoking nazi talk.

It seriously takes months at most, and not years to get rid of smoke from an indoors area. If going with residue of the micro degree, then how is this not different from ANTZ rhetoric?

Well, maybe you can't smell it. I can. In restaurants here in town which allowed smoking before all the bans, even over all the food smells and all the cleanings that have gone on, I can still smell it. I had an extremely keen sense of smell even as a smoker, but now it is at least twice as keen as it used to be, and maybe even more than that -- smells ASSAULT me on a daily basis, some almost knocking me down. Where there was once regular, daily smoking, for any length of time, I can smell it.

Andria

 

[Jman8]

Where there was once regular, daily smoking, for any length of time, I can smell it.

Andria

Then you can smell it everywhere, as there was once regular, daily smoking, everywhere. I'd be very surprised if you could name a place, on the planet, where you cannot smell smoking (from decades ago).

 

[MissBlue]

Goodness that is a LOT of work ! How did you not run out of energy?

LOL well I did it over time, not all at once. I had also just done a cleaning job in a recently vacated apt. of a heavy smoker, so i knew how gross it was - that disgusting yellowish-brown 'film' was on EVERYTHING in there - I mean it was VILE. when i began spraying the windows and walls, the cleaning solution started running down all the surfaces in nasty brown streaks... just. gag. So, since i wanted my own house to be squeaky clean and fresh, and i knew how disgusting it was gonna be - I was HIGHLY motivated. hoo-raw! lol.

also i'm a painter and construction worker, so i'm used to hard physical work .... when it's my own house i'm even MORE motivated to git 'er done, than when doing that kind of work as a job for someone else. .

 

[Stringplucker]

We quit smoking indoors back in March. Since then, we've painted the living and dining rooms, as well as the bedrooms and I can still smell the cigarettes. On hot days, after walking in from outside, it smells as strong as it did before we painted and cleaned. The smell MUST still be in the carpet, even after multiple cleanings with everything from laundry detergent to rinses with white vinegar. My next step, when ever I can afford to do it, is to replace all of the carpeting...which is going to be expensive in a 114 year old, 1750 square foot home.

If it wasn't for previous owners having pets, I'd just refinish the floors and be done with it all.